Latest / The Chris and Mike Show / #151 - Steff Conger - Relationship/Sexual Health Coach

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#151 - Steff Conger - Relationship/Sexual Health Coach · The Chris and Mike Show

• 0:07
  And we're live. What's up there, boys and girls?
• 0:10
  We are live on the Twitch and the YouTube.
• 0:11
  This is the Chris and Mike show. We have a really cool special
• 0:15
  guest today. It's the reason I wore my shirt.
• 0:19
  That's what she said. Just Steph, Congress here.
• 0:24
  Just hold on. Let's get the intro out of the
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  way. There you go.
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  OK, so we are here, we are live, we are rock'n'roll with Steph.
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  Steph Conger, a relationship slash sexual health coach.
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  How's that for an intro? Awesome.
• 0:53
  Can you hear me, Steph? Uh oh.
• 0:58
  Can you hear me, Steph? I can just hear the music.
• 1:02
  Oh, stop the music again. I do.
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  I know that happened in the morning too.
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  I don't know why it's doing. This wondering if you were
• 1:12
  trying to talk to me but I literally couldn't hear you.
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  I heard like little blips of like the.
• 1:16
  Second time that's happened too. Yeah, all I could hear was just
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  jamming. I'm like, we're just jamming for
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  like 5 minutes. OK.
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  All right. OK, but now you're but now you
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  can hear, right? I can hear everything.
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  The music is gone. Cool.
• 1:27
  Cool, cool. So again, this is this is Steph
• 1:30
  Congress. She's a relationship slash
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  sexual health coach. Super cool, super fun.
• 1:35
  I wore my that's where she said shirt.
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  So every time she said something I'm just going to back up and
• 1:38
  and do this. Okay, so.
• 1:42
  Welcome. Thank you for coming on.
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  Yeah, and see, the cool thing is we've had everything from
• 1:47
  authors and, and, and you know, self self help gurus and weight
• 1:51
  loss people and fitness trainers, nutritionalists,
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  musicians up the walls. So you're the first actual
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  person that's come on the show that is relationship,
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  relationship slash sexual health related.
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  And so let's lead with your, your credentials and stuff so
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  people understand you're not just somebody who decided one
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  day, oh, I'm going to do this for fun on Instagram.
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  Well, it's an honor to have to have myself on the show.
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  The thing in my head that says, Steph, don't say anything stupid
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  that like that didn't that didn't just OK.
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  Anyway, I just need to be here. We have 150 examples of us
• 2:28
  saying stuff stupid, so you. Do it more.
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  Than a big deal. You're good.
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  I'll just put a little tally on my paper for every time I do
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  that. So, so I actually started, I
• 2:41
  have like, all right, let's start at the beginning.
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  I started when I was 19, right? So I've been doing this for 18
• 2:50
  years. And I literally did actually
• 2:53
  just say one day I think I'm gonna sell sex toys.
• 2:56
  Cool. Because that's how it started.
• 3:00
  So I went to a party because have you guys heard of like Pure
• 3:03
  Romance? Or slumber party, Yeah.
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  Absolutely. Yeah, Yeah.
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  Yeah, so that's where it all began.
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  Or 19 years ago. No, 18 years ago.
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  I was 19, walked into and you know, do you know where I'm
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  from? I'm from Utah, right?
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  Do you know how conservative? We do.
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  We do. Yes, yes we do.
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  So somebody was like, do you want to come to like my sex
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  party? And I was like, this sounds
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  illegal. I'm in, I'm in.
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  And I was there. I was like, this is awesome.
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  And pretty much immediately I really saw the need for the
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  education portion because the house was packed and the ladies
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  were, they couldn't get enough of it.
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  And from that point I was like, wow, I feel like I kind of found
• 3:50
  my thing here. So that is how I walked into it.
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  And then yeah, from there, over the last I worked for, I was on
• 3:58
  the board with corporate with both slumber parties and Pure
• 4:02
  Romance. They sent me to a bunch of
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  sexual health certifications. I've never actually been to
• 4:07
  college. Like full disclaimer, these are
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  all just, these are all what I call like drop in courses,
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  right, that I've taken over the years.
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  So, but I mean, 18 years of experience, like working in the
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  field with women. And then just, you know, like my
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  menopause certification, that I have a couple of sexual health
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  certifications from like the Shaw Institute.
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  And anyway, Long story short, there you go.
• 4:32
  Well, I'll tell you something that we've talked about on here.
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  Stuff is, and this is a fact, whether people want to believe
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  it or not, the Internet would not exist if it was not for
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  pornography. So when I heard that statistic,
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  the person that said it basically said either that's not
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  true, which it is true. So that makes a lot of people in
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  the world a bunch of liars, right?
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  Because people say, oh, I don't look at that.
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  Yeah. Pornography makes more money
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  than Microsoft, Google, Apple. If you combine all their money
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  together, the Internet pornography still makes more
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  money than all those combined. So there's a lot of lonely
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  people out of there. There's a lot of people that
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  like to, you know, live on the edge behind closed doors,
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  basically. There's a lot of liars.
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  There really is, because that's a fact.
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  The Internet would not exist even today if it was not for
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  porn. Well, I think too that we're
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  coming. So what I've watched happen is
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  we're like coming out of an age of shame of like, I don't do
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  that. I don't like when I very first
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  started, like women would be like, I don't even know.
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  I don't touch myself. And whatever lies, lies.
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  Come on, Karen. Yes, you do.
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  Yeah. Right.
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  We're embracing it now. I've watched it happen over the
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  years and now we're like girl power, like flick your bean.
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  Guys get cool stuff too, you know.
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  So. So you just scrolling on the
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  site huh? I'm given well because we have
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  the power. So so I this because you open
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  that can of worms right away. I wanted to share this.
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  So this everybody who's a parent, everybody who's a parent
• 6:20
  understands what an advent calendar is because you get the
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  little chocolate calendar for the kids to open up every day
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  before Christmas. They get the little chocolate
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  treat. So Steph and I can do this like
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  live because my wife doesn't watch my stuff because, you
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  know, she lives with me. She doesn't have to.
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  So I got this. It's an it's an adult advent
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  calendar. I'm it's going to be here next
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  week. It's going to be a surprise on
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  December 1st. So instead of opening a little
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  box of chocolates every day, we're going to open a little box
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  of woohoo every day. Because you know, Mike and I
• 6:54
  have talked about, I've alluded to it and some of the the shows
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  we've had. I can my my secrets to marriage.
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  You have to have a separate comforter and you just, I mean,
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  my wife and I, we've been on a honeymoon for 31 years.
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  And that's the cool thing about us.
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  I know not everybody's the same, but if you're looking for
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  something to spice up your life and spice up the the once you
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  get behind that closed bedroom door, go to Steph Conger and
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  it's STEF Conger CONGE r.com and buy the advent calendar.
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  Yes, right. So so since I have it up and I
• 7:27
  open this box, kind of explain what that is, Steph.
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  So our our our viewers and listeners in 27 countries, mind
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  you, can understand what this is and how it can help enhance
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  their relationship. I'm on it.
• 7:39
  Right on. That's what she said.
• 7:42
  Tell us all about 27 countries. I literally just know Ola.
• 7:45
  So anyway, OK, it's pretty sweet.
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  These are always a hit and this year's is probably one of the
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  best. So this I sourced from if you
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  know wow tech. Wow tech makes 2 like round
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  breaking products, one of them being the original air pressure
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  technology toy which is the womanizer.
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  Have you guys heard of the Womanizer?
• 8:10
  Yeah, I have heard of the womanizer.
• 8:11
  Okay, so it's got the original womanizer in there, which is
• 8:15
  genius. And ladies, if you're watching
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  this and you don't have air pressure, you need air pressure.
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  I promise you your life will change.
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  Your skin will clear up. You will literally be like a
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  seasonal depression where where because it won't be there and
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  then that's in there and then it's also got like the the
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  original We vibe. Do you guys know what to leave?
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  I know what to do. I follow.
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  I follow you so and you know so I.
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  I love. That I'm not one of these people
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  that pretends that I don't, that I don't have any interest in
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  that kind of stuff. I just say yeah, I love it as
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  much as most people should. Yes, I love that as much as most
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  people should. Yeah.
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  Yeah. So that's in there.
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  And then like the entire thing just has little like things that
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  you maybe wouldn't try. Like I don't want to give away
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  all the surprises, but like. Yeah, don't give away the
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  secrets. Yeah, no, no, a little like
• 9:06
  paddling, because maybe that's not something that you would
• 9:08
  try, but it's in there and you're opening up a box and
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  you're exploring with your partner every single night.
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  That's what's in there is fun. And the fun.
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  The fun thing about opening up a box?
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  You're opening up two boxes. Proverbally, I don't.
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  Know. You know, let me ask you this
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  when you go to these parties for like women that are listening
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  that maybe have considered going to these things, but you know,
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  for whatever reason, they just can't get up the nerve to go
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  explain to people who have never done this.
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  What is one of these parties like?
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  Like walk us through how you put it together, you know, and then
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  what kind of happens while you're there so that the women
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  that are interested, that can't get up the nerve, maybe they'll
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  hear it's not what they think it is.
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  Great question, Mike. Great question.
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  Thank you 100%. Yeah.
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  So I really pride myself on creating an environment that is
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  super safe, like, and, and honestly, I swear I learned this
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  trick by accident a long time ago.
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  If you keep people laughing, they can't be uncomfortable
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  because you're literally like, and I do that.
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  I'm hitting you with the jokes. You don't even know what's
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  happening. You're laughing, you're crying,
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  You know what I mean? You're laugh crying and we're
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  just having fun from start to finish.
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  I've got jokes lined up like I'm not messing around.
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  I write jokes. So it truly is more like a
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  party. Yes, it's fun, but it's
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  educational. So I'm not just like, you know,
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  getting ladies in the suite. It's not.
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  It's classy and fun at the same time.
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  It's informational. So I mean, when I'm setting up
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  for one, I've got a table, I'm standing in front of the table.
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  I hide the big daddies until the end for my shy girls.
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  I'm like, listen, I'm not going to pull out the beads until you
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  guys are warmed up. That's just rude, right?
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  So we wait until the end and then yeah, I have everybody
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  kinda I and I can, I've done this for long enough.
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  I can read people. And so if you're putting off
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  that you might be a little uncomfortable, I'm going to, you
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  know, I'm going to cater to that.
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  I'm going to make sure that you get a little more attention for
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  me so you feel comfortable, you know, but typically by the end,
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  that's the crazy part. And also the beautiful part is
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  by the end, they're, they're typically coming in the shopping
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  room because you get a private session with me after.
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  And by that point they're like telling me their darkest
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  secrets. And I'm like, that's how I know
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  I did my job. I'm like here.
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  We are and and see that's part of it too, because and I like
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  what you said earlier, we're kind of coming out of the of the
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  taboo. How how sexual health is?
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  Oh, you can't. You know, get rid of those
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  periton values that we. Probably have right because
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  because all it does all it does is enhances your sexual health,
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  right, which is enhances your sexual life, which enhances your
• 12:00
  relationship. There are so there's so many
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  things that I follow on on Facebook.
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  There's a lot of dad groups I follow and there's there's
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  there's so much depression in those groups because and you
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  know, like one, one was they his wife, they don't have sex since
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  they had their kids. Like she's just turned off to
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  it, right? And then you have ones that
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  it's, it sucks coming home. And these are just summaries of
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  comments I've seen that sucks coming home.
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  And and you know, the kids acknowledge me that the wife
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  doesn't. Well, I mean, it's a 2.
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  It's a two way street, right? Like Nikki and I had our
• 12:32
  problems, but it was related to my drinking.
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  But once we got through that, once I sobered up, it was a
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  whole different life. And we've, we've been together
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  the entire time. But it's, it's one of those
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  things I stepped back and realized, OK, part of this is my
• 12:44
  fault and part of it was her fault.
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  So we both kind of took ownership in that.
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  So I think what you're doing with the sexual revolution,
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  let's call it in a, in a new Millennium, it's it, but it is
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  you. It's, it needs to be fun.
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  So because I had that same thought that Mike asked you and
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  because I thought about going to those things over the years, but
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  it's kind of like, well, you know, grab the wife, let's go do
• 13:06
  this. But it, it truly needs to be in
• 13:09
  an engaging environment and you break down all those barriers
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  and all those tensions. And like you said, then it's
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  like, let's go to the shopping room because you've already
• 13:16
  established that. Rapport, What are you and I
• 13:18
  learned expert like 50 episodes ago when we read that stupid ad
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  from the 70s that the Hitachi was actually turned into a
• 13:27
  masturbation device by women. Men didn't encourage women to do
• 13:31
  that. Women did it on their own, they
• 13:33
  bought it and they're like, it doesn't do shit for my knee, but
• 13:35
  it really works here. Good.
• 13:37
  Yeah, and that's The thing is it was treated as hysteria.
• 13:41
  Like way, if you go way back in the history of the vibrator,
• 13:45
  like women would come into the doctor and they'd be like,
• 13:49
  they'd be all wound up, right, Because they didn't have that
• 13:51
  sexual release that they needed. What's wrong with me?
• 13:54
  They called it hysteria. And then they, the doctors were
• 13:58
  diddling their Skittle. And then they're like, you're
• 14:00
  good, Susan. Have a good day.
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  So, yeah, the same women figured that out for themselves.
• 14:06
  They're like, it feels good here.
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  What does it feel like? Right, this is one of the
• 14:09
  reasons why I love stuff dude. Because of the way she explains
• 14:13
  things, right, Diddle your skittle.
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  OK, that's, that's you're not there's, there's, there's
• 14:19
  nothing that that is bad about that, right.
• 14:22
  So when she does her stuff on on on Facebook and or Instagram,
• 14:28
  there it is. You know, this is the magic wand
• 14:31
  that that legit. But it was it was funny.
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  We were doing these weird commercial ads and stuff and
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  it's like, it's crazy. Some of the stuff that in the
• 14:38
  70s they used to do and that that falls under the best sex
• 14:43
  toy for women from some other relationship coach that we're
• 14:46
  not going to mention, but that was the best image I could get
• 14:48
  for that. So yeah, I, I dig, I dig, I dig
• 14:52
  what you do. I dig how your approaches and
• 14:54
  and all that kind of jazz. For sure.
• 14:55
  Yeah, I can. I can totally tell that you are
• 14:58
  successful at what you do. Your attitude.
• 15:01
  You glow when you talk about it, and that's what it takes.
• 15:04
  Yeah. You know, that's how I look when
• 15:05
  I talk about music. I become a different person.
• 15:08
  So yeah, you find your groove in life, and you've definitely
• 15:12
  found it, for sure. Thank you.
• 15:14
  And nothing can be better than a woman helping other women,
• 15:18
  right? Because, right.
• 15:19
  You guys feel comfortable around each other for sure.
• 15:21
  Yeah, definitely a trust factor, definitely.
• 15:24
  And it's understandable it has to be that way.
• 15:27
  Yeah. And the other thing I wanted to
• 15:30
  like piggyback off of what Chris said earlier that I thought was
• 15:33
  important is it's, it's we look at, we don't look at for
• 15:39
  whatever reason, sexual health doesn't come into this fear of
• 15:43
  like we are big on mental health.
• 15:45
  Oh, mental health, mental health, mental health, which I,
• 15:48
  I'm in it, I get it, I'm with it, physical health, spiritual
• 15:52
  health. But then we're we're missing
• 15:53
  that. We still haven't said that.
• 15:55
  That counts and that counts. No, we still hide behind it.
• 15:59
  You know, we we've talked about it for the whole, you know, 1st
• 16:02
  15 minutes we've been on here. It's such still and I agree with
• 16:07
  you, we're coming out of it. We're like a flop power that's
• 16:09
  blooming, you know, But there's still that underlying holding on
• 16:15
  to those old ridiculous values that we don't talk about this,
• 16:19
  you know, we keep it behind closed doors.
• 16:22
  That was the dumbest thing we ever did, is just repress.
• 16:26
  Well, what, what what that created?
• 16:28
  This is my original like thought and theory on this is, is that
• 16:32
  what we've created in all this shame and repression?
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  Because I think what we've tried to do is like, oh, you can't
• 16:41
  talk to your kids about that because you're going to create a
• 16:43
  bunch of sexual deviants. So what we've done is exactly
• 16:47
  what we tried to not do is that's where a lot of this, and
• 16:51
  this might be controversial, I do not care.
• 16:53
  This is what I believe. This is but This is why we're
• 16:56
  it's a podcast. You do whatever you want.
• 16:58
  Fire away. Stuff Well.
• 17:00
  Yeah, it's because of all that shame and the lack of
• 17:04
  normalizing the human experience of being like it is normal to
• 17:08
  have these feelings, it is normal to have these desires.
• 17:12
  But because I've been shamed since the time I could touch it,
• 17:16
  then I grow up thinking that it's bad.
• 17:19
  And I dare say that a lot of this is.
• 17:23
  We're getting into Gray waters here, but well, fuck it.
• 17:26
  This is this. Is where we get a sexual assault
• 17:32
  because. Yeah, yes.
• 17:37
  Sorry, but I just think that we have not.
• 17:41
  If you know nothing about it and you're not taught anything about
• 17:45
  where that energy is supposed to go, but all you know that it's
• 17:48
  bad, you're gonna sneak around to try to get that stuff.
• 17:53
  Hello. You know what my analogy to that
• 17:55
  is? Stuff is the world of drugs, and
• 17:58
  we talk about it on here too. It's super important for people
• 18:02
  to know the drugs that will kill you versus the drugs that will
• 18:06
  not kill you, right? We lump them all into one
• 18:08
  category and we say they're all bad.
• 18:10
  That's not true. Sex is the same way.
• 18:12
  Thank you. That's the perfect, that's the
• 18:16
  perfect analogy to kind of tie into where I was going with that
• 18:19
  is yeah, we're just like, oh, just don't talk about it, don't
• 18:22
  touch it, don't do it. And then and we wonder why we
• 18:25
  have all these this actual like issues around it, you know?
• 18:29
  Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox, get all my I.
• 18:32
  Agree with everything you're saying, and it kind of coincides
• 18:35
  with what Chris was saying about his issues earlier.
• 18:38
  When him and Nikki came to a crossroads.
• 18:40
  They could have just as easily went the other way where they
• 18:43
  shut down and they, you know, went within themselves and
• 18:47
  everything imploded and it fell apart.
• 18:50
  But they chose the right path, which is we're going to talk
• 18:53
  about this, you know, head on, we're going to face it.
• 18:56
  We're going to get through it together and we're going to come
• 18:58
  out better the other side, right?
• 19:00
  And now on a day-to-day basis, they talk about their problems.
• 19:02
  Hey, whatever happened today, This is what bothered me.
• 19:06
  This is my good part of the day. This is my bad part of the day.
• 19:09
  That's what people don't do in the bedroom, right?
• 19:12
  So they get in the bedroom and then they look at each other
• 19:14
  like, well, I guess it's time to do it.
• 19:16
  What do you want to? Do I don't know the average and
• 19:19
  the average the average couple has has sex 54 * a year and the
• 19:24
  reason is 54 is birthdays so you once a week plus your birthdays
• 19:30
  Nikki actually. But there's a lot of guys out
• 19:32
  there going, Jesus, I, you get it, once a week.
• 19:35
  Yeah. Well, that's what I'm yeah, but
• 19:38
  so, but that's the thing though, I think I mean, personally, and
• 19:42
  because Nikki and I, we're blessed, we have a really strong
• 19:44
  relationship from the ground up. There's nothing that's that's
• 19:48
  taboo with us and all forms of of our relationship from not
• 19:52
  just, you know, I mean, so, but I think being in a healthy
• 19:56
  relationship affords the ability to communicate on all different
• 19:59
  levels. So when you bring people into
• 20:02
  your parties and you open that up, do you do, do they like
• 20:06
  follow up with you and stay in contact and say, oh, you know,
• 20:08
  like they're fearful of how their spouse is going to react?
• 20:10
  And then all of a sudden it's like, Oh my gosh, the spouse
• 20:13
  loves it. Now we're on this other level of
• 20:15
  things because it just opens up the dialogue.
• 20:18
  And then as a woman, right, you feel more wanted when, when the
• 20:23
  husband's engaging and opening up to things and same thing,
• 20:25
  like I feel more wanted with, with how Nikki and I have
• 20:28
  embraced our our life together. She's a teacher.
• 20:34
  So I can't like drop too much things, But I, I just, I just
• 20:39
  think that this part of the life of a married couple or, or just
• 20:42
  a couple in general that's been together.
• 20:44
  If this, if the sex life is, is, is not healthy.
• 20:50
  But also what's the word prevalent present?
• 20:53
  You know what I'm trying to say it it to me.
• 20:56
  To me, it'll open up the rest of the communication in the
• 20:58
  relationship and make it that much stronger, right?
• 21:01
  100%. So you're seeing so so you have
• 21:04
  people that come back you after the parties like, Oh my gosh.
• 21:07
  Oh yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, and, and,
• 21:10
  and prior to so in 2020 is when I took everything kind of
• 21:15
  online. Prior to that, you could only, I
• 21:19
  would never have met you prior to that because I was only in
• 21:22
  people's houses. I got on the Internet in 2020
• 21:26
  and then I got this whole new world and I was like, wow.
• 21:29
  And so I do. I get my, my community around
• 21:33
  here that I've built over the last, you know, 18 years.
• 21:35
  But now I've built kind of an online thing where people follow
• 21:38
  up with me. I'm so glad that you suggested
• 21:41
  that. And I love that feedback because
• 21:43
  I'm like, hell yeah, it's working.
• 21:44
  You know, that's awesome. It's working.
• 21:46
  It's getting the message out, you know, and so are you.
• 21:49
  Reaching people all over the world now like we are.
• 21:52
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is cool. It is really cool.
• 21:56
  Yeah. I have a good time doing it and
• 21:59
  it's just fun. I have a fun time.
• 22:00
  You know, I sprinkle in like, oh, go ahead.
• 22:04
  No, no, I just, I pulled up your Instagram page.
• 22:06
  Can you see it? Oh yeah.
• 22:09
  They're all they're all videos and they're like I talked,
• 22:12
  talked earlier when you made the thing about diddling the
• 22:15
  Skittle. You also talk about Pickles.
• 22:18
  The vocabulary you use is is I think is genius.
• 22:22
  I love that. Thank you.
• 22:24
  Yeah, I. I cuss like a sailor, but I
• 22:27
  appreciate someone who can use other words effectively.
• 22:36
  Well, and here's the thing though, is I, I actually would
• 22:40
  love to say the proper terms because, but you can't.
• 22:44
  I'm I, I can't. Yeah, I would love to use the
• 22:48
  proper terms because it's to me, it's I had to just get right
• 22:53
  with this. I had to just take the L on this
• 22:55
  and say even though I want to normalize all this stuff and
• 22:59
  being able to just say clitoris and penis and all all the
• 23:02
  things. I I have to play the game until
• 23:05
  I can play the game. I want to play the game the way
• 23:07
  I want to play the game, right, Because I don't want to.
• 23:10
  Yeah, I don't want to say the love tunnel like I'm a grown.
• 23:14
  Ass woman, but I know. But but it's a clever way to say
• 23:18
  it. Yes, it is.
• 23:20
  It is. That's.
• 23:20
  The fun, that's the fun thing about you is, is you're getting
• 23:23
  over those restrictions by by using your brain and being
• 23:26
  creative with the terminology you're using.
• 23:28
  I actually tend to agree with Chris.
• 23:30
  I think it's more creative to do it the way you're doing it.
• 23:33
  Well, thank you. Thank you you.
• 23:35
  Know, because the other reason I think it works too is because
• 23:38
  then you're not because again, like your, your parties, right?
• 23:42
  You, you, you mentioned earlier how someone's going to be
• 23:44
  tinted, you know, timid and shy, kind of like.
• 23:47
  And if you're talking about the penis ejaculating the vagina, da
• 23:50
  da da da, then that's going to make them kind of shut.
• 23:52
  Down for sure, Absolutely. But when you're talking about
• 23:55
  Biddle and the pickle and licking the Skittle, you know
• 23:58
  it's it's it's you get laughter, though, and then laughter.
• 24:02
  You're talking to two guys who played in a rock band for 20
• 24:05
  years. You know, we, we've heard it
• 24:07
  all. We've seen it all.
• 24:08
  You're not going to offend us, but I understand where you're
• 24:10
  coming from in that society is not my mother is not ready for
• 24:15
  that right? Yeah.
• 24:16
  Is your mom watching Mama? Kay watches every one of these
• 24:21
  episodes, but she's also not delusional.
• 24:24
  She knows I played in heavy metal band for 20 years.
• 24:27
  Kate So Mama So So Mama Kay, Do yourself a favor and surprise
• 24:31
  steel get the advent calendar. Yeah, get yourself family
• 24:34
  calendar. It's so cool.
• 24:36
  It's so fun. I endorsed that.
• 24:40
  I endorsed that. I know you did.
• 24:42
  While we're on that subject real quick, Steele's birthday is on
• 24:44
  Monday, so happy birthday. Steele Yeah, birthday still
• 24:47
  steals his dad. Happy birthday.
• 24:48
  Still, that's his nickname. Happy birthday.
• 24:51
  So here's a here's a fun little question for you, Steph.
• 24:53
  So you're married, you have a, you have a, it's a six year old
• 24:56
  boy or girl. I have a six year old boy.
• 24:58
  Yep, and I have an almost 20 year old boy as well.
• 25:02
  Oh, gap in the matrix. OK, Yeah.
• 25:06
  So I was like, I don't want them too close together.
• 25:11
  So how? And you don't have to answer if
• 25:14
  you don't want to, but how much of your sex life does?
• 25:18
  Do you experiment with your husband before you, before you
• 25:21
  share the product, if it works or not?
• 25:23
  I can see your Guinea pig. Oh yeah.
• 25:25
  Oh yeah. Right on.
• 25:26
  Oh yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 25:29
  And this is crazy. But like, that's awesome.
• 25:32
  Sometimes we get, oh, he loves it.
• 25:34
  He's very happy, man. Sometimes, like, for example,
• 25:40
  when we're bringing on a bunch of new stuff, which we have been
• 25:43
  the last couple months, like we get burned out on that.
• 25:47
  Like, like vanilla sex is like, oh, we're just gonna have just
• 25:52
  Reg. And that's like a treat.
• 25:53
  Like this is just Reg like, yeah, yeah.
• 25:57
  No toys today honey, just bend over the bed.
• 25:59
  We're gonna do missionary, yeah. Right.
• 26:02
  Yeah, yeah, we're excited about it.
• 26:04
  He's like, what? We're not putting anything in
• 26:06
  anybody's butt. OK, yes, yeah, that's what she
• 26:13
  said. But, you know, and I I that's
• 26:16
  the fun part. But that is that is I stand
• 26:20
  behind the products that I promote because I have.
• 26:22
  But like you're not going to hit a home run with everybody.
• 26:25
  I understand that, you know, like I have people.
• 26:28
  I just threw out a new product and it's been going great.
• 26:31
  And then we've had a couple of misses and I'm like, you know,
• 26:34
  I'll always try to troubleshoot with them.
• 26:37
  But that's the other thing. Why I feel like I, I, I love
• 26:41
  people. I genuinely do.
• 26:42
  And I also want I, I learned this a long time ago is like you
• 26:48
  have you ever heard the saying don't, don't trip over a dollar
• 26:52
  to pick up a penny, right? So if you you will, you will
• 26:56
  lose the long term life of a customer and have their loyalty
• 27:00
  by screwing them out of like that one time sale.
• 27:04
  So I'll like I always take care of my people on if you don't
• 27:08
  like something, let me know. Like I got you.
• 27:10
  And they know that, you know, that was a side note.
• 27:13
  But yeah, that's cool. Yeah, we we satisfaction almost
• 27:18
  guaranteed. Yeah.
• 27:19
  So I'm on your Instagram page, so I'm going to play this and
• 27:22
  we're going to see. No reason for you to have a hard
• 27:25
  time or a bad time in the bedroom when you're doing the
• 27:28
  things. We don't need to remove
• 27:30
  ourselves from our bodies anymore and be like counting the
• 27:33
  shingles on the roof or whatever.
• 27:35
  But I get it because here's the deal.
• 27:37
  We as ladies, we just have a bunch of browser tabs open.
• 27:39
  So sometimes we need something that helps us get out of our
• 27:42
  head and into our bodies. Something that makes it so you
• 27:44
  absolutely cannot ignore what is happening.
• 27:46
  That's where this stuff comes in.
• 27:48
  This is a vasodilator. That means that it works
• 27:51
  instantly. Wherever you put it, you're
• 27:53
  going to put on the bean Bean Town USA little dabble, do you?
• 27:56
  It's going to bring the blood flow.
• 27:58
  All of a sudden you're going to be like, Oh my gosh, things are
• 28:00
  happening. Statement, more blood flow, more
• 28:02
  sensitivity, more sensation. You're ready to party.
• 28:05
  I've got it for you over my profile.
• 28:06
  It's under enhancements and moisturizers.
• 28:08
  It's called high voltage. See, so that kind of stuff I
• 28:12
  love because you're that's awesome.
• 28:14
  You're you're sharing something and you're sharing something in
• 28:17
  a positive way. You give you give a real
• 28:19
  creative insight of of where to put it, what it does and how the
• 28:23
  reaction of or how you know how your.
• 28:25
  Presentation is outstanding, right?
• 28:27
  Very, very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 28:29
  I was, I was trying to find your, your, your I was engaged,
• 28:33
  your I was trying to find your. I was trying to find your
• 28:36
  vacation swing video because that that I love that.
• 28:40
  Oh yeah, yeah, she has this. I've got a couple.
• 28:43
  She has this door swing, she puts on the door and then the
• 28:46
  video is just it's like like this, you know, we have a good.
• 28:50
  Spot on. Let's make sure we're following
• 28:53
  her on Instagram. I think yeah, we are.
• 28:55
  She wouldn't followed us. And I think I've, I mean, I, I
• 28:58
  know I follow her personally. I don't know about about the
• 29:00
  show, but you can. Check it out.
• 29:02
  Get your shit together, Mike. I know I'm.
• 29:04
  Offended. I'm offended.
• 29:07
  So now this is this is the room that you typically are filming
• 29:10
  in for Instagram, right where you're sitting right now.
• 29:13
  Yeah, yeah, I, I kind of move around the house, but I
• 29:17
  typically just, Yep, right here, this is the main office.
• 29:20
  Yep. And then we have another office
• 29:22
  and then we have, or we have well, the, the warehouse.
• 29:26
  And then I kind of like to also film in my bedroom cuz I'm like,
• 29:29
  yeah, you know, but I do film in here a lot.
• 29:32
  Yeah, well, I always, I know this because because the
• 29:34
  background. Yeah, all the the.
• 29:37
  The supply. Yeah, all the things are back
• 29:40
  there. OK, what's your Instagram page?
• 29:42
  It's Steph Conger. Ste.
• 29:45
  But listen, I'll. Open it.
• 29:47
  Open up, Michael. We'll open it up.
• 29:49
  Look on the look on the screen, buddy.
• 29:51
  I'm lucky. It's right there or TikTok or we
• 29:54
  gotta. Get it?
• 29:56
  It's Steph Conger on every single platform, and I'm always
• 30:02
  Steph, Steph Conger every platform.
• 30:04
  TikTok. Instagram.
• 30:06
  Facebook. Yeah, so then right there you
• 30:09
  can just you can just see it's education plus pleasure
• 30:11
  positive, which I love sexual health and intimacy and libido.
• 30:16
  That's that's just cool because it kind of covers all the things
• 30:19
  and you're not just stuck into a box.
• 30:22
  Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, because I also
• 30:24
  don't, I want to strengthen the whole relationship, right.
• 30:27
  So I, I was going to do this in front of my book.
• 30:30
  So if I'm a tiny little bit of a nerd alert, you know what I'm
• 30:33
  saying? Like, I'll be reading some
• 30:35
  books. And so anything just that
• 30:39
  encompasses having a strong relationship.
• 30:43
  And you know what, I can totally relate Chris to not you said
• 30:48
  that you and your wife had a struggle.
• 30:51
  I learned a lot of this shit from my own struggles, right?
• 30:53
  Like me and my partner had a rough go, but we figured it out.
• 30:59
  And then you can, you can attest to this.
• 31:01
  I'm sure that once you come out on the other side of that, like
• 31:05
  we almost gave up, then you're like, wow, this is better than
• 31:08
  ever. Like what were we even thinking?
• 31:10
  We were going to give up on this shit.
• 31:13
  And that's also what I've been kind of leaning into lately with
• 31:17
  some of my content pieces is like you're at the first of a
• 31:21
  new relationship. Like it's rainbows and sunshines
• 31:24
  and butterflies out your ass and like everybody's happy.
• 31:26
  We're good because because of the well and the chemical
• 31:32
  cocktail. This isn't just because it's
• 31:34
  new. It's actually the things that
• 31:37
  are happening inside of your body.
• 31:39
  What your body is dropping the dopamine, the serotonin, the
• 31:42
  serotonin, all the good stuff that is happening is literally
• 31:45
  giving you that feeling. So what we what we lose is that
• 31:50
  then you're together for a couple years because
• 31:51
  realistically it literally only lasts 2 years at best.
• 31:55
  OK, the like unless you. Unless you're my wife and I just
• 31:59
  saying. Yes.
• 32:00
  Well, you're an example of what I heard one time, and this is
• 32:04
  for guys specifically. I adopted this because I thought
• 32:07
  it was great. Be the guy that you were when
• 32:11
  you were trying to get laid the first time.
• 32:13
  Keep being that guy throughout your entire relationship, right?
• 32:17
  Absolutely. You'll have the best
• 32:18
  relationship ever. Remember what it was like when
• 32:21
  you were on the hunt, so to speak.
• 32:23
  Right? Yeah, keep being that guy.
• 32:25
  That's how I look at Chris. Chris is still that same guy
• 32:28
  that I knew 30 years ago. He's never changed.
• 32:31
  Right now and in fact, in fact I met why I met my wife on
• 32:34
  December 6th and she blew me off till till February 19th like and
• 32:38
  I so I I I but I tasted a little bit but her dad was in town and
• 32:42
  then we end up getting married a year to the day of our first
• 32:44
  date so and and we've been together ever since so.
• 32:48
  How long have you guys been married for?
• 32:50
  Since 1996. Oh, that's awesome.
• 32:53
  That's incredible. That's gold's right there.
• 32:56
  It is so, but go back to what you're talking about
• 32:58
  relationship wise because I think it's really important for
• 33:00
  people to understand this. This is what you teach is not
• 33:03
  just sex and sexual, you know, toys and adventures.
• 33:07
  It's more to that. It's more to you than that.
• 33:09
  Yes, I was just, I was just bringing together the fact of
• 33:13
  like, you get that chemical cocktail, it's new, you're
• 33:17
  excited. Oh, it's so fun.
• 33:18
  And the amount of you still put in the effort, right?
• 33:21
  It's still there, but you're literally how do I put this of
• 33:26
  like the driving factor is what's happening inside of you.
• 33:29
  You're like, I can't get enough of this person.
• 33:30
  You were physiologically, chemically addicted to the
• 33:34
  feeling that this person gives you.
• 33:36
  That's, that's science, bro, like science, yo.
• 33:39
  Anyway. And So what happens is then you
• 33:41
  get a couple years and then things start to wane down and
• 33:45
  you, you either do one of two things.
• 33:48
  We're either gonna go our separate ways cuz we're like,
• 33:50
  we're just not in love anymore. Like it just doesn't happen for
• 33:54
  us because so you get those people that are perpetually in
• 33:57
  new relationships, right? Because they're always chasing
• 33:59
  that We're addicted to our, we're addicted to those
• 34:02
  chemicals. We want it again and again and
• 34:03
  again. And then you get the other
• 34:05
  people that figure out that by doing these new things, right.
• 34:11
  These. New exciting things that that
• 34:13
  keeps that drops that dopamine into your body, that new and
• 34:17
  exciting stuff. So we either A, we chug along 20
• 34:20
  years later, we're like, oh, we've been miserable for the
• 34:22
  last 15 years. Like we're just staying together
• 34:25
  for the kids and no shame in that.
• 34:27
  We just don't know what we don't know or B, we become the couple
• 34:31
  that says, you know what? We have to create those
• 34:35
  feelings. We have to create that
• 34:37
  excitement, whatever that is like.
• 34:39
  I love what Mike said about act like how you first had to get
• 34:43
  her, keep that excitement in it and whether you need help from
• 34:48
  this stuff back here, you need date night ideas, you need, you
• 34:52
  know, conversation starters. There's so many avenues that you
• 34:56
  can go down. But I just truly believe that on
• 34:59
  the other side of that, like, oh shit, we're bored.
• 35:02
  Instead of giving up, there's other options out.
• 35:04
  There when you say all that stuff is necessary, what you
• 35:06
  just said the date night, the. Stuff in the.
• 35:10
  Background the you know 100% the trying new things in the bedroom
• 35:14
  that. Otherwise, I think it.
• 35:17
  Is, and I think Chris would attest to this because he's
• 35:19
  lived with the same person for, you know, over 30 years.
• 35:22
  My parents would attest to it. They've been together for 50
• 35:24
  years in April. If you're going to spend the
• 35:27
  same day every day, you know, day in and day out with the same
• 35:31
  person, you can't keep doing the same thing.
• 35:34
  No, so I have a saying monogamy is great and and there's there's
• 35:40
  controversial things about whether it's natural or not
• 35:43
  natural. I don't but the complicated.
• 35:45
  For the human species, I don't think it's natural at all.
• 35:48
  Right. So, but here's the here's the
• 35:50
  fucked up part, Mike, is we're so complicated that two of our
• 35:53
  basic human needs are certainty and uncertainty.
• 35:58
  So we literally crave controversial things.
• 36:00
  So the certainty is that I have this person.
• 36:03
  We love each other. We are obsessed with each other.
• 36:06
  The uncertainty is what are we going to do tonight?
• 36:09
  That's you see what I'm saying? That's where that comes in.
• 36:12
  Like what kind of freaky shit are we going to get into
• 36:15
  tonight? That's the spice, right?
• 36:16
  That's that breaks the monotony of I went to work, I came home,
• 36:20
  I ate dinner, I did the dishes, I went to bed, right?
• 36:23
  Right, you can only do. That routine so many times
• 36:26
  before all the sudden you start hating each other.
• 36:30
  Yes, 100%. Yep.
• 36:32
  And that's where that's where I like to come in.
• 36:35
  One thing that we've talked about on here, sorry man, I
• 36:37
  didn't mean. No, no, go ahead.
• 36:38
  Go ahead. Go ahead.
• 36:39
  Go. Ahead, one thing we've talked
• 36:40
  about on here that I want to know if you're familiar with
• 36:42
  because we haven't, like Chris said, we haven't had an actual
• 36:45
  relationship sex expert on. Here we have.
• 36:49
  She's right. Here it's Steph Conger.
• 36:51
  Steph conker.com. Until now, and this is awesome.
• 36:55
  You're awesome. So.
• 36:58
  I've listened to a podcast and I know it was on Rogan but I can't
• 37:01
  remember who the doctor was but he literally said that they did
• 37:06
  a study and I think it was 25,000 women over 30 years.
• 37:11
  That birth control has ruined your ability as a woman to
• 37:18
  detect who you're attracted to, because a woman's greatest
• 37:22
  defense mechanism is her ability to smell her mate.
• 37:27
  That's science. I did not know that that's.
• 37:29
  Crazy. I hadn't.
• 37:31
  I've never heard that before. Look into that.
• 37:33
  Super cool. Yeah, no, I'm, I got a notepad.
• 37:35
  I'm writing that down. So what he was equating that to
• 37:38
  stuff was the ever increasing divorce rate because as soon as
• 37:44
  the woman stops taking birth control she's like I don't like
• 37:47
  this person at all and I don't know why.
• 37:51
  Well, and it goes, it goes back to, to the divorce part of it,
• 37:54
  what you talked about stuff you get those, those two years,
• 37:56
  maybe three years of that, you know, dopamine, all those kind
• 37:59
  of things. And then they, and then that
• 38:01
  starts going away because I think Mike and I've talked about
• 38:03
  before, I think the average marriage now last 3 1/2 years.
• 38:07
  And so that, so that, but that goes within your time frame,
• 38:11
  right? You got those two years of wow,
• 38:13
  you know this is amazing. You tried.
• 38:15
  Working out for a year. Right, right, right.
• 38:18
  But you probably true though. And but you start, you start
• 38:21
  cheating off of that and then obviously the men are going to
• 38:25
  be like, well, why don't you want to have sex with me?
• 38:26
  And the women are like, just don't touch me because you're
• 38:28
  gross. So then you have that weird
• 38:30
  little dynamic going on. If you throw in the birth
• 38:31
  control pills on top of it, then you have all kinds of chaos
• 38:34
  going on. Right.
• 38:36
  Which is ridiculous, you know. Right.
• 38:38
  Well, and as a whole, we're just like, we're the most unhealthy
• 38:42
  we've ever been. That's a whole another
• 38:44
  conversation for another day. But like, don't think that
• 38:46
  physical health doesn't play into your sexual health because
• 38:49
  it does. I can give you creams all day,
• 38:51
  but I'm like, listen, bro, you're eating and drinking
• 38:55
  absolute garbage. Like they found that aspartame
• 38:58
  lowers your testosterone. So we're just drinking
• 39:01
  artificial sweeteners in our sodas.
• 39:03
  And then we're wondering why we have we have men with low tests.
• 39:06
  Like, let's look at our diet too.
• 39:08
  No, that's actually funny because I just switched to
• 39:10
  xylitol gum. Oh, OK, that's good.
• 39:14
  To get rid of the aspartame, xylitol is a natural it.
• 39:19
  Yeah. It's a plant, I believe, and
• 39:22
  they squeeze. Yeah, it's a natural sweetener,
• 39:24
  yeah. Aspartame will mess you up bad.
• 39:27
  Yeah. So what is aspartame for people
• 39:29
  that don't know because I don't know what aspartame it's.
• 39:30
  Got So if you're buying sugar free gum, sugar free soda, most
• 39:34
  of it's aspartame. Yeah, I don't.
• 39:36
  I don't. I don't drink soda, you know
• 39:37
  that. And I buy sweetener what the I
• 39:40
  don't. I don't remember what the gum I
• 39:41
  buy is but. It's Steph just said it.
• 39:43
  It's a chemical sweetener because xylitol is a natural
• 39:46
  sweetener and xylitol is good for your teeth.
• 39:48
  So if you chew it after meals, it actually, you know, puts the
• 39:55
  saliva back in your mouth. It strengthens your enamel.
• 39:59
  Nice. Let me ask you, this is a paid
• 40:02
  advertisement for tried. I can't even remember the
• 40:07
  company or I'd give them a shout out.
• 40:08
  I bought it off Amazon. I got a lot of good friends who
• 40:14
  give me this. They know that I like that kind
• 40:16
  of information. So one day I was at work and it
• 40:18
  just, I don't know, it came up out of nowhere and I'm like,
• 40:20
  well, I got Amazon so I'll order it and try it.
• 40:23
  And it was awesome. It was good stuff.
• 40:25
  Let me ask for you. Yeah, go ahead, Mike.
• 40:28
  So. What would you say to these
• 40:29
  women? I've met more women who have
• 40:32
  been ruined by men, right? And they will never give another
• 40:36
  man an opportunity because they're afraid.
• 40:39
  And I get it, I understand. But I feel so sorry for him
• 40:43
  because one thing that I had to overcome in my life is not
• 40:46
  living in my past, right? I just made a conscious decision
• 40:51
  one day. I'm like, you know, I can't
• 40:53
  change what happened 10 seconds ago.
• 40:54
  I can only change from now forward.
• 40:57
  And that was the most powerful thing that I ever did for my own
• 41:00
  mind was to realize you need to learn from the past, but you
• 41:04
  can't live there, right? So what do you say to those
• 41:07
  women if they come in front of you and say I want a man, I want
• 41:11
  to be happy, but I'm just afraid, right?
• 41:15
  Yeah, I mean, you, you literally just said exactly what you how
• 41:19
  are you going to we can't drive when we're looking in the
• 41:21
  rearview mirror. Like, how are we going to move
• 41:23
  forward if we can't? So I'm a really big advocate for
• 41:28
  therapy. Like, how do we move through
• 41:30
  this, you know? Yeah, you, you said it
• 41:33
  perfectly, Mike, because I would say the same thing.
• 41:35
  You can't live in the past. How are we going to get what we
• 41:37
  want if we're we're looking back.
• 41:39
  So when it comes to that, what kind of internal work do you
• 41:42
  need to do on yourself to be able to move past that?
• 41:47
  Otherwise, I think that we're gonna nerd out a little bit,
• 41:53
  okay? But I just, I believe in the
• 41:57
  power of our thoughts, right? So I think if you're out there
• 42:00
  and you're thinking men are bad and I just date assholes, well,
• 42:04
  guess what? That's what you're gonna keep
• 42:06
  getting. Yep, Sorry, sorry, not sorry.
• 42:08
  So, so how do you get past that so that you can start saying
• 42:12
  there's good men out there and I'm going to find one.
• 42:15
  And how do we, how do we move through that so you can have a
• 42:17
  better outlook to bring that into your life?
• 42:20
  I think that our our thoughts are incredibly powerful and they
• 42:24
  they shape our perception on reality.
• 42:26
  And wouldn't you tell those same women that you know?
• 42:30
  Don't take it as this is the rest of your life.
• 42:34
  It's one date, right? It's one night of your 100%.
• 42:37
  You're never gonna know if you don't take that leap for four
• 42:40
  hours in an evening, right? Yeah, keep your keep your walls
• 42:45
  down and your boundaries high. Keep your walls down, stay open,
• 42:50
  right? But have your set boundaries set
• 42:53
  up beforehand. If you're a little weary on
• 42:56
  dating, go into it with an open heart because what are you even
• 43:00
  doing if you're not going to? But then set your boundaries of
• 43:03
  like, even if he is super cute, like I'm not going to have sex
• 43:06
  with him on the first date because guess what that's going
• 43:08
  to that's going to give me an emotional attachment and I'm not
• 43:11
  ready for that. That's what I would say to him,
• 43:14
  yeah. Nice, I like that.
• 43:17
  So you, you, you, you mentioned earlier we were talking about
• 43:20
  relationship stuff, date nights, things like that.
• 43:22
  So why we have you on the show? Let's talk about what's your 5
• 43:26
  like? Like my wife and IA few years
• 43:27
  ago we did what we call those 51st dates.
• 43:30
  So we did once a week. We went on a date every week to
• 43:33
  some place that we had never gone before together.
• 43:36
  That's cute. Right.
• 43:38
  So, so that's, that's a lot harder than it sounds because
• 43:41
  we've been together at the time. At the time it was probably 2026
• 43:45
  years together. So but it was kind of cool
• 43:47
  because we would just, we would figure out things we never did
• 43:50
  together before and that'd be. So it was 51st date #1 all the
• 43:53
  way to 50, right? I'm.
• 43:53
  Writing that. Down.
• 43:55
  I hope you don't. Know.
• 43:56
  No, not at all So but I want to get from you like like give give
• 44:01
  our viewers and listeners like here's the here's the top five.
• 44:04
  You know, things that would suggest for, you know, a date
• 44:06
  night, you know, if you because part of why I wanted you on here
• 44:09
  before you asked the question, part of why I wanted you on here
• 44:11
  is because we like we like to showcase the person we have on
• 44:14
  the show. We like to put them out in the
• 44:15
  world, but we also want to give Nuggets of value to share with
• 44:20
  folks, because the more Nuggets of value we can, we can share,
• 44:24
  then the more followers you're going to get, the more people
• 44:25
  are going to go subscribe to your stuff.
• 44:28
  So if you, if you had a, a couple who was just struggling
• 44:31
  like they were just, you know, what would be the five date
• 44:34
  nights you would suggest for them to do just to kind of start
• 44:37
  rebuilding that rapport and that dynamic that they had right.
• 44:40
  And then it filtered away. Or need.
• 44:44
  Yeah. So I always tell people that
• 44:49
  it's, you know, it's not realistic to be like, get this
• 44:54
  set and just start going at it. Like let's start small.
• 44:57
  Let's start with, I'm referring back to what Mike said.
• 45:02
  What did we do at the beginning? So we're going to start our date
• 45:06
  night. And I don't care what activity
• 45:08
  you choose to do because what's more important is is your
• 45:12
  connection on that date night. OK, so non sexual acts of touch
• 45:17
  are huge because if you've been, yeah, yeah, if you've been
• 45:22
  disconnected. Exactly, exactly.
• 45:24
  A kiss on the forehead, holding hands.
• 45:28
  What what small things are going to start getting that spark?
• 45:32
  Because what we end up doing if we just try to like fake it and
• 45:36
  we're just going to force it is we just end up disconnected even
• 45:40
  further because she's going to go out of her body.
• 45:43
  So this is where the couple's going to have to start small
• 45:46
  with those non sexual acts of touch, right?
• 45:49
  And, and, and just to I'm sorry, I don't have like specific
• 45:53
  things. I think that I think that like a
• 45:56
  because I don't know if it really matters what you do.
• 45:58
  I think it like I think it matters what you do on the date,
• 46:01
  right is first of all, set like a date night out like me and my
• 46:07
  husband. Wednesdays, Wednesdays are our
• 46:10
  day. We do whatever we end up doing.
• 46:12
  Is that because it's hump day? Maybe, maybe you caught me.
• 46:18
  Don't tell the whole world my secret.
• 46:21
  You know, you know, I had to go there.
• 46:23
  Let's see. Yeah, of course it's.
• 46:25
  Because it's cool. It's cool having you on the
• 46:27
  show. Because it's like I don't have
• 46:28
  to have a filter, you know? Never.
• 46:30
  No, he. Acts like he has a filter any
• 46:32
  other time. Really.
• 46:34
  Oh, no. Let your.
• 46:35
  Hey, listen, Chris, let your free flag fly, OK?
• 46:38
  Let your free flag fly. Way more than I do, trust me.
• 46:42
  And I'm probably a bigger freak than he.
• 46:44
  Is I just don't talk about. I don't know.
• 46:48
  Listen, Mike, he's been ordering with me for a while now, so.
• 46:52
  I know this guy, trust me, I shared the stage with him a lot.
• 46:57
  I like what because I like what you said about going back to the
• 47:00
  beginning. I think that's super important.
• 47:02
  Like you said, for people who have been together, especially,
• 47:05
  you know, going on a decade or five years or more even, you get
• 47:09
  in that routine, it's super important.
• 47:11
  That's it. It's super important to remember
• 47:14
  how special it was the first time she touched your hand as a
• 47:17
  guy, you know, or the first time that she let you hug her or you
• 47:22
  know to be that close to. Here's another scientific fact.
• 47:26
  I'm a nerd when it comes to I love human nature, right?
• 47:30
  Me too. There's only one thing other
• 47:33
  than food and water that we have to have to survive, and that's
• 47:36
  human contact. That's why solitary confinement
• 47:39
  is the worst thing you can do to a prisoner.
• 47:42
  We have to have human contact. You can't live without it.
• 47:46
  You'll die eventually. Yep, Yep.
• 47:48
  So I like that. Going back to the beginning,
• 47:50
  people need to remember what that feeling was like when you
• 47:53
  got goosebumps, you know? Yeah, I like to subtle.
• 47:56
  I like to settle like Nikki and I always hold hands like it's
• 47:58
  it's second nature. If if we're walking in from
• 48:00
  somewhere and I don't have her hand, even though it's just kind
• 48:02
  of a pinky hold. But if I don't have I look down
• 48:05
  like what the fuck? Oh, sorry.
• 48:07
  You know, I always but she'll do the same thing to me because
• 48:09
  it's just, but it's it it to me. That's the dating thing, right?
• 48:15
  It's like it's because, because this is my we all come, right?
• 48:18
  So Mike and I are in our 50s. What are you?
• 48:23
  And there's a reason I'm asking this.
• 48:24
  Well. A gentleman never asked and.
• 48:26
  I know she. Gave you the math at the
• 48:28
  beginning of the podcast. She was 19 and 18 years later.
• 48:32
  She's 3038. OK, OK, so you may so this may
• 48:35
  not this may not apply to you, which is why I wanted to know
• 48:37
  that I'm. Just so.
• 48:39
  Like, no, you're good. But like when I met Nikki,
• 48:41
  right? I was done.
• 48:42
  I was like, I was, we were in the band.
• 48:44
  I was focused on the music. I just shaved my head.
• 48:47
  Women thought I was thought I was a Skinhead.
• 48:50
  So all women to me were shallow. I'm like, fuck this.
• 48:52
  I'm not going to do this anymore.
• 48:54
  And then I met her and I'm like, oh, wow, she's not, she's dicked
• 48:58
  me. She's not shallow.
• 48:59
  Like what? What's up with this?
• 49:01
  So by the time we got to her first date, it was that it was
• 49:05
  that thing to where you had to actually go in front of somebody
• 49:08
  and ask them out, right? Because we didn't have the
• 49:11
  social media, we didn't have the Facebook and the text you could
• 49:14
  hide behind. So, so I would call her, you
• 49:17
  know, and continue to pursue her during that from February, from
• 49:20
  December 6th to February 19th. But that, that doesn't happen
• 49:25
  now, right, Because people can just use social media and, and
• 49:27
  the text and the apps and all that kind of shit.
• 49:29
  So they don't, you don't get that interaction anymore.
• 49:31
  So I don't, I don't know how much that's affected the dating
• 49:34
  roles in life because the dopamine spikes and things like
• 49:37
  that. Because right when I first met
• 49:38
  her, I walked into this house where she was at.
• 49:40
  She was sitting on this chair. She had her leg propped up and
• 49:42
  I'm, it was just like, like this chick's hot.
• 49:46
  Like I automatically. That feeling.
• 49:48
  Yeah, I mean, it was automatic. It was lightning bolt boom and
• 49:51
  the shit you not. We talked about getting married
• 49:53
  on our first date and literally we were married a year to the
• 49:56
  day. But I don't think if if I was in
• 50:00
  this generation now, I don't think I would have had that that
• 50:03
  interaction because everybody hides behind shit and there
• 50:06
  there's no balls going up. Mike and I have talked about it
• 50:09
  like, you know, you get the sweaty palms and shit, you just,
• 50:12
  you don't get that with the, with the social apps and the and
• 50:15
  all the things, the dating apps and stuff, because you're not,
• 50:18
  you're not, I mean, even this isn't real per SE.
• 50:21
  We can kind of get a, a feel for our reactions and stuff.
• 50:23
  You know, we can tell you're not the fuck that You know what
• 50:26
  you're talking about and you know.
• 50:27
  What do you love different? If we were sitting around, it
• 50:29
  would be together. Look at each.
• 50:30
  Other the energy. The energy, yeah.
• 50:33
  Yeah, because she'd be pulling out toys and, you know, this is
• 50:35
  what you do. This is how it works.
• 50:37
  That's 100% why Rogan won't do remote interviews.
• 50:40
  So that. Tells you how much different it
• 50:42
  is. Yeah, we'd be have Mike in the
• 50:44
  door swing already. Like what?
• 50:46
  We'd just be like Mike, get it on there, get in there for the
• 50:48
  listeners. You guys are lucky this is
• 50:51
  remote because it would be weird.
• 50:56
  You found the right two guys, trust me.
• 50:58
  Yeah, OK. So, so we, we, we need to get
• 51:01
  back to those that are struggling, that are watching
• 51:03
  this or listening. You need to get back to the, to
• 51:05
  the intimate, the intimate touches and the caresses and the
• 51:08
  kind of I called, I called any window flirting where you're,
• 51:11
  where you're, you're, you're not like you, you know, you run
• 51:14
  your, you know, right, you're at, you're at dinner or
• 51:16
  something. You just kind of reach out and
• 51:18
  run your hand on the leg, you know, and then you and you get,
• 51:21
  I get a reaction internally. I'm sure she gets a reaction
• 51:24
  internally because then it's just kind of, you know, and
• 51:27
  after 3131 years and you can still touch.
• 51:30
  I can she and I can still touch each other and have that, you
• 51:33
  know, she'll, she'll walk in the door some days and I'm like,
• 51:36
  damn, you look good today. You know, it's just, and that's
• 51:38
  the thing. We do a little sticky notes.
• 51:40
  Here's another little thing for that, for you can maybe like
• 51:43
  this idea of stuff and maybe maybe never heard of it.
• 51:45
  Sticky notes. We write sticky notes to each
• 51:47
  other. Like you open my refrigerator
• 51:48
  door, you're going to see like 10 sticky notes I've written to
• 51:51
  Nikki over the years, right? She'll she'll put she'll put
• 51:55
  sticky notes by my mirror. Oh, you, you look cute in your
• 51:57
  glasses. I hate wearing glasses.
• 52:00
  Oh, you have a cute butt. You know what I mean?
• 52:01
  So just weird little things like that.
• 52:03
  We'll put sticky notes random places that you know throughout
• 52:06
  the week, but it it automatically lifts your spirit
• 52:10
  when you get up. And like we have this funny look
• 52:14
  like she put on the coffee maker one day.
• 52:17
  Good to the last drop. So I took it and put it on
• 52:19
  something else in our bedroom. But but that's the thing.
• 52:25
  So that that that's a little dopamine spike, right?
• 52:28
  You you get those little, little love notes.
• 52:30
  So I think if you're struggling relationship wise, kind of take
• 52:33
  Steph's advice, get back to the the simple touching and things
• 52:36
  like that. But then do the little sticky
• 52:38
  notes and and don't overkill it. Just casually do it like I'll,
• 52:43
  I'll put a sticky note that, you know, obviously I love you,
• 52:47
  things like that. But then you'll do stuff like,
• 52:49
  oh, you, you know, you taste fantastic.
• 52:50
  Now that can be opened up to whole different conversations,
• 52:53
  right? But it's true you, the intimacy
• 52:57
  is you can build an intimate evening by laying these little
• 53:00
  foundations, right? So if you have a date and a
• 53:02
  Friday start, start laying the found work Monday, Tuesday,
• 53:05
  Wednesday, Thursday for the date.
• 53:06
  Night. And then, and then it's going to
• 53:09
  just, I don't know, elevate that first date night.
• 53:13
  Yeah. And then you're going to have a
• 53:15
  positive experience. And then you're going to want to
• 53:18
  do it again. And then you want to do it
• 53:19
  again, and you're going to want to do it again.
• 53:22
  Right. Especially if you have kids.
• 53:24
  Oh God, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 53:26
  No, I was just going to say that I think we should take it one
• 53:29
  step back with this because if I know anything about
• 53:34
  relationships, and I think I do because I have people in my
• 53:37
  inbox, if the disconnect is so great, if the disconnect is
• 53:42
  where a lot of people are when they get desperate, which is
• 53:46
  like we are clear on the other ends of we are so disconnected,
• 53:49
  it's going to feel really phony to do that kind of stuff at the
• 53:53
  beginning. So I think that to take it one
• 53:57
  step back, I think that we need to to have a good relationship,
• 54:05
  especially coming out of the darkness, we need a radical
• 54:08
  amount, a radical, radical forgiveness.
• 54:11
  You need to forgive and be willing to move on from whatever
• 54:16
  it was. So I think before we even start
• 54:19
  with the sticky notes and stuff, because yeah, that's going to
• 54:22
  spark the fire. But if we if we don't move on
• 54:24
  from that resentment, it's in the background and you're like,
• 54:27
  Oh yeah, like especially big, big, big forgiveness stuff like
• 54:31
  cheating and stuff. So then what is your first step
• 54:34
  after that? We sit down.
• 54:36
  You know, we've gotten to this point.
• 54:38
  I say, Steph, we're not going to make it.
• 54:40
  We sit down, we hash it out. We say we're going to make it.
• 54:43
  What's your first step after we've done the forgiveness part?
• 54:46
  Because I agree with you and I agree with Chris too.
• 54:50
  It it depends on where you're at in your relationship when you
• 54:53
  start that kind of stuff. So what's the first step after
• 54:56
  the forgiveness? After the forgiveness, then
• 54:59
  let's like if you know, if you don't plan, then you plan to
• 55:02
  fail, right? If you fail to plan, you plan to
• 55:04
  fail. So I'm it sounds, and we're so
• 55:07
  funny. We're so funny because we're,
• 55:09
  you know, we work in these companies where where we have
• 55:12
  notes and we take notes and we make schedules and stuff.
• 55:15
  But then we think when it comes to our intimate life that we
• 55:18
  don't have to, we don't have to set out a plan.
• 55:19
  We're just going to wing it. Well, winging it is what got you
• 55:22
  in that shitty situation in the 1st place, so it has to be what
• 55:27
  it is. And I've made videos about this
• 55:29
  where I'm like, set a date night out, take the TV out of your
• 55:34
  goddamn room because. The is killing your.
• 55:37
  Intimacy. And right there, there's a
• 55:40
  reason I have one TV in my house.
• 55:41
  Unless you're watching porn. I but see.
• 55:44
  I don't right but see. On your phone.
• 55:46
  You can do it on your phone, Mike, don't worry.
• 55:48
  Don't take my TV away. But legit we have.
• 55:51
  We've never had ATV in our bedroom our entire time together
• 55:53
  because to me, the bedrooms, it's for two things.
• 55:56
  It's for sleeping and sex, period.
• 55:57
  Nothing. Else.
• 55:59
  So those of you that have three more, yeah.
• 56:01
  Yeah. So we're hammering that point
• 56:02
  hard. Get the TV out of your fucking
• 56:04
  bedroom. No, get it out by myself.
• 56:07
  OK, that's different. You're fine, Mike, but when you
• 56:10
  get wiped up, then it's got to go.
• 56:12
  OK, Yeah. When you maybe if you're a
• 56:13
  couple, yeah, when you're a couple, the only time we put ATV
• 56:16
  in the bedroom was and I had neck surgery one a year.
• 56:21
  And so we put it in there because I couldn't leave the
• 56:22
  bed. And then I think COVID coupled
• 56:24
  COVID stints. But other than that, there's
• 56:26
  never been ATV in the bedroom because it just doesn't.
• 56:29
  It doesn't work. Yeah, if you, if you have it in
• 56:31
  there, then turn it off. Like, you know, if you, if you
• 56:35
  have to have ATV in there, we have ATV mounted like ATV mount.
• 56:39
  And then we're like, oh crap. But we also have a little guy,
• 56:42
  but that TV never turns on. So it's sad when I hear about
• 56:47
  people that are like, oh, you have time to watch.
• 56:50
  I just saw something and, and, or I heard something.
• 56:53
  It was like, oh, you have time to watch Project Runway, but
• 56:55
  like we can't, you know, like have 20 minutes of just and I'm
• 56:59
  like, the TV kills us. Instead of right, instead of
• 57:04
  binge watching, binge F. Yeah.
• 57:10
  Or binge. Talk.
• 57:11
  Yeah, right. There's something is there?
• 57:13
  Yeah. Because Nikki and I won't turn
• 57:14
  on TV till like seven, 8:00 at night.
• 57:17
  She'll come home at 5:00 and and whatever I'm doing, I'll wrap it
• 57:19
  up. And then we just go sit on the
• 57:21
  couch and just, you know, randomly conversate.
• 57:24
  Talk. She'll scroll through her
• 57:25
  things, you know what I mean? But there's something always
• 57:28
  going on. You just brought up something
• 57:30
  that I wanted to also hit home on when you're making that plan
• 57:33
  for your relationship, because we're grown and we're gonna do
• 57:36
  that right? Especially when you wanna save
• 57:38
  your marriage or your relationship.
• 57:40
  Let's also get in there and figure out exactly what time our
• 57:45
  partner is most active sexually, right?
• 57:48
  And let's get on the same page because my job and the way that
• 57:53
  my brain works and I'm a 5:00 AM gal, guess what?
• 57:56
  When it gets to 8:00 at night, I do not want to have, you know, I
• 58:00
  do not want to have sex with you.
• 58:01
  I'm so sorry. A girl like that.
• 58:03
  Yeah, hit me in the morning. It's going.
• 58:05
  To get the right person. And she was the morning person.
• 58:07
  So we had to find a compromise, you know?
• 58:10
  Percent. Yeah, and maybe on the weekends,
• 58:12
  babe, we might do it at night. You know, like figure out what?
• 58:16
  That. Yep, figure out what that looks
• 58:18
  like. But if you want it every day,
• 58:19
  let's shower together after the gym and, and, and have that
• 58:23
  conversation where it's just so funny.
• 58:26
  Again, going way back to what we were first talking about.
• 58:29
  We didn't learn this stuff. So when it's time to have these
• 58:32
  conversations, we come, we become completely shut down with
• 58:35
  the one person that we should be having this conversation.
• 58:38
  That's a great point because at that age I did not handle it
• 58:41
  well. Right now I would be like, OK,
• 58:43
  let's come. You know, we've made the
• 58:45
  compromise about the weekend thing, but during the week it
• 58:48
  was always still a struggle. It's like, what do you mean that
• 58:50
  you're dead tired of 3:00 at night?
• 58:52
  Well, I was never putting into perspective that that person got
• 58:56
  up at 4:00 in the morning, right?
• 58:58
  Exactly. So and just that rhythm of what
• 59:01
  was going on, even chemically in her body was like, so.
• 59:05
  So what happens with that, Mike, is that if you then decide if
• 59:08
  she's like, well, I'm just going to do it anyways, right?
• 59:11
  Like because it'll make him happy.
• 59:13
  So she's completely disconnected, right?
• 59:15
  She's not even into it, going through the motions.
• 59:18
  Then you get in your head about it.
• 59:20
  Yeah. And then you get in your head
• 59:21
  about it. And here we are.
• 59:22
  The relationship just chips away step by step because we didn't
• 59:26
  just have a simple conversation that said, hey, if you come home
• 59:29
  for lunch, let's make it happen at that time because I'm ready
• 59:32
  to go, you know? Right and and see then there's
• 59:35
  another little thing like like if if you're in a healthy spot,
• 59:40
  right, if you've gone through the the drags right now you're
• 59:43
  back. Turn around healthy sexed text
• 59:46
  your spouse with your. Partner.
• 59:48
  Oh, that's a good idea. Like like legit like there's
• 59:51
  things that I'll do during the day to, you know, when walk in
• 59:57
  the door, it's like it's go time.
• 59:59
  But that goes back to the fact that she and I have just a super
• 1:00:02
  healthy relationship on all levels.
• 1:00:04
  And and it's a good thing my kids don't watch this because
• 1:00:08
  every I'm that guy every now and then.
• 1:00:10
  What do you do with my son? Like, what are you doing?
• 1:00:11
  Dad? Get ready to do your mom, son,
• 1:00:13
  dad, dad, go stop. How do you think you got here?
• 1:00:18
  But it but at the same time, but at the same time, my, my
• 1:00:21
  children grew up watching aside from my my drunk years, but my
• 1:00:25
  drunk years. My, my daughter was like 7 when
• 1:00:29
  I stopped. My son was 2.
• 1:00:30
  So my daughter saw more of it than my son did.
• 1:00:32
  But other than that, they saw just a very healthy loving
• 1:00:36
  relationship. Like we, we hug each other all
• 1:00:38
  the time. We kiss each other all the time.
• 1:00:39
  We hold hands all the time. We, it's not taboo and I think
• 1:00:44
  it's because we came from such taboo.
• 1:00:46
  Like my mother was pissed when a girl would call me when I, when
• 1:00:50
  I was a kid, like just just pissed off.
• 1:00:52
  So like, OK, so I'm not allowed to have girls like me, you know
• 1:00:57
  what I mean? Because and it was her
• 1:00:58
  insecurities and her fear because we won't go down that
• 1:01:01
  path, but my, my, you know, we're not going to go down that
• 1:01:03
  path. But it's the stigma she created
• 1:01:07
  for that was mind boggling to me as I look back on it later in
• 1:01:10
  life. Like, like I want girls to call
• 1:01:12
  my son. I want boys to call my daughter.
• 1:01:13
  I set those boundaries and shit, obviously.
• 1:01:15
  But this part of life, it's the experiences you need.
• 1:01:19
  So, you know, I don't know where I was going.
• 1:01:24
  I lost my train of thought, Squirrel.
• 1:01:25
  Yeah, it's OK. Yeah.
• 1:01:27
  Yeah. Well.
• 1:01:29
  I agree with what you're saying in that one of the most, one of
• 1:01:34
  the best quotes that I've read recently is we never should have
• 1:01:39
  raised an entire generation of people and we can add sex in
• 1:01:43
  there that we were always taught as kids.
• 1:01:46
  Don't talk about politics and religion, right?
• 1:01:48
  Yeah, Yeah. Also sex.
• 1:01:50
  So what did we end up with? We ended up with a whole
• 1:01:53
  generation of people who can't talk about religion, politics or
• 1:01:56
  sex. And and like Steph said earlier,
• 1:01:59
  one of the precursors she believes, and I I tend to agree
• 1:02:01
  with that is the sexual crimes. I agree because and I.
• 1:02:06
  Never thought of that. Said that you never thought of
• 1:02:08
  that. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:10
  Well, anything. It's like the war on drugs.
• 1:02:12
  Look how well that went. Like, what are we doing?
• 1:02:15
  You know what it was like? That failure, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:18
  We're just so Well, you can. Create a parallel with sex
• 1:02:23
  there, right? You can create the same parallel
• 1:02:25
  in that we have a whole generation of people who kind of
• 1:02:28
  half understand what sex is supposed to be about.
• 1:02:31
  Right, right. Or or, or or even normalizing
• 1:02:35
  the experience of what it is to be a human and have sexual
• 1:02:38
  desires. So then they just think that
• 1:02:40
  they're I'm an anomaly. Oh, it's weird that I want to do
• 1:02:43
  that. And like, we don't have space
• 1:02:45
  for that anymore. Like why aren't we just?
• 1:02:47
  This is what it is. It's a it's a human, human
• 1:02:51
  desire that we all have that everybody acts like they don't.
• 1:02:55
  Right. Which is so weird.
• 1:02:58
  Everybody wants to have sex. Everybody thinks about it, but
• 1:03:03
  everybody acts like they don't. That's just so I've always
• 1:03:06
  thought. That was just odd.
• 1:03:07
  It's wild. It's wild.
• 1:03:09
  It's just time to come. It's time to move out that old.
• 1:03:12
  We're moving that out. You know what I mean?
• 1:03:13
  Like the new energy is going to be, I always say this,
• 1:03:17
  everything is normal, everything is OK as long as we're
• 1:03:21
  consenting and it's legal. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:03:24
  Like I do not. If you want, if you like your
• 1:03:26
  toes licked, fucking do that find.
• 1:03:29
  Somebody that wants to lick toes.
• 1:03:31
  Absolutely. You know what I mean?
• 1:03:32
  Like if you have some weird fetish, if your partner is of
• 1:03:36
  age and consenting, go for it right?
• 1:03:40
  I don't understand it, but if you want to dress up like a cat
• 1:03:43
  and hang out with the furries, go do that.
• 1:03:46
  Exactly. People happy, they're not
• 1:03:47
  hurting anybody. Nope.
• 1:03:49
  Yep, as long as we're consenting.
• 1:03:51
  And realistically, I think that a lot of those really outlying
• 1:03:57
  kinks, I think a lot of those are an over spill of sometimes I
• 1:04:04
  struggle with words since I had that damn stroke, but they're an
• 1:04:07
  over spill of like that shame, right?
• 1:04:10
  Like I've been holding this in and now I'm going to go like
• 1:04:14
  that kid that that was super religious and then all of a
• 1:04:16
  sudden they're like, fuck all this and they went and got
• 1:04:18
  tatted up and everything. I think some of those are that
• 1:04:21
  over expression of something that could have just been in a
• 1:04:24
  a. 100 and like. Are you guys picking up what I'm
• 1:04:27
  putting down here? That totally makes sense.
• 1:04:29
  Yeah. OK, Yeah, Yeah, it's zero to 0.
• 1:04:32
  No, but it's it's zero to 60 because again it's like you
• 1:04:35
  said, you're some households it's very it's a very heavily
• 1:04:39
  repressed religion environment. Yeah, you're.
• 1:04:41
  Going to find those people who have got kinks and fetishes,
• 1:04:45
  they a lot of them did grow up in that do not do this.
• 1:04:48
  We don't talk about this. That is gross.
• 1:04:50
  Whatever. Yeah, and then they discovered
• 1:04:54
  free will. Yep.
• 1:04:56
  And then that has an impact on them when they're adults because
• 1:04:58
  they were, they it's been ingrained in their head.
• 1:05:00
  I I can't do this. I can't talk about that.
• 1:05:02
  I can't, you know, and I think that totally shapes their adult
• 1:05:05
  personality, which not necessarily for a good thing
• 1:05:07
  because again, as we've learned with Steph Conger here, the
• 1:05:10
  relationship with sexual health therapist or not therapist
• 1:05:13
  coach, right? I'll get that one day.
• 1:05:17
  Don't. Worry, yeah, it's but it's
• 1:05:19
  all-encompassing, right? Your, your, your relationship
• 1:05:22
  with your partner, whether you're married or not.
• 1:05:25
  Communication is key, number one, but then being open, open
• 1:05:30
  to all the things that you and your partner can accomplish,
• 1:05:33
  whether it's in the bedroom or out of the bedroom.
• 1:05:34
  I mean, that just makes for a stronger, healthier relationship
• 1:05:36
  in my eyes, you know, And then we know from this right here on
• 1:05:41
  the screen share the Steph Conger is an Internet
• 1:05:43
  personality because I just typed your name in and your Internet
• 1:05:47
  personality. Well.
• 1:05:51
  She just proved one of my points when and we weren't following
• 1:05:54
  her. We are now.
• 1:05:55
  I I've always, well, yeah, OK, yeah.
• 1:05:57
  You were personally, I, I just followed you through the page
• 1:06:00
  and you just proved one of my points.
• 1:06:02
  I've always said if you're a woman and you're cute and you're
• 1:06:05
  talking about sex, you're going to have a lot of followers
• 1:06:08
  whether you want it or not. So.
• 1:06:10
  Yeah, now you must be. Really.
• 1:06:12
  Good at what you do and you're easy to look at.
• 1:06:14
  And that that lends itself well to the Internet, for sure.
• 1:06:18
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:06:19
  Do you have do you have a YouTube channel?
• 1:06:23
  So I, I have AI. Yes, I do.
• 1:06:27
  I do Yep. OK.
• 1:06:29
  I auto post to every platform so that I can hit on there and
• 1:06:33
  eventually we will. I just, there's not enough time
• 1:06:36
  in the day to do all the things that I want to do, you know what
• 1:06:38
  I'm saying? Like, I'm going to take over the
• 1:06:39
  world and like, yeah. Yeah, our goal is world
• 1:06:43
  domination, but I run out of hours every day.
• 1:06:46
  That's what I'm saying. I I know.
• 1:06:49
  Yeah, and I'm just and I'm just scrolling while you guys are
• 1:06:51
  talking with this kind of shows our listeners and our viewers.
• 1:06:53
  I can't show our listeners, shows our viewers.
• 1:06:57
  This is never ending content for different things like if you
• 1:07:01
  want to explore the back door, she has things for enhanced
• 1:07:04
  pleasure. OK.
• 1:07:05
  How long have you? Been at this stuff. 19 years,
• 1:07:08
  right? 18 years.
• 1:07:10
  Yeah. October.
• 1:07:11
  Was 18 online You said just since. 2022.
• 1:07:15
  So, so Yep, 2020, Yep. So 2020 is when I started doing
• 1:07:20
  more things online, but just in the Facebook realm, 2022-2023 is
• 1:07:25
  when we started really getting going hard on Instagram,
• 1:07:28
  Facebook and and TikTok. Wow.
• 1:07:31
  Yeah. So not super long.
• 1:07:34
  We built up a pretty impressive following.
• 1:07:37
  Just a couple years. And here's a cool thing too,
• 1:07:40
  like we just talked about, we talked about this earlier
• 1:07:42
  revolutionize revolutionized date nights with Tisa set.
• 1:07:46
  So these things that Steph shares and talks about on a
• 1:07:49
  daily basis, as she talked about before they, they try all the
• 1:07:53
  stuff that, that she, her and her husband or partner, whatever
• 1:07:57
  we call them, they try all this stuff before she puts it on her
• 1:07:59
  site, correct? Yes, yes.
• 1:08:02
  So, so you're not getting somebody who's right.
• 1:08:04
  So you're not getting somebody who's just like, oh, I'm going
• 1:08:06
  to sell this. She's been there, been there,
• 1:08:09
  done that, which I think is cool.
• 1:08:12
  And again, explore the best couples products within real
• 1:08:17
  controls. Oh, that could be fun.
• 1:08:19
  They're so fun remote. I mean, just just yeah, so all
• 1:08:23
  of these just Google her name, Steph Conga, as you can see
• 1:08:25
  right here. And you're going to find so many
• 1:08:29
  things from from sexual health to relationship goals to the
• 1:08:34
  toys and the fun and the behind the doors and things like that.
• 1:08:37
  Yeah. But yeah.
• 1:08:39
  But if you haven't, and if you're if you're shy and taboo,
• 1:08:42
  well, Google it, man. Just it's, you know, it's, yeah.
• 1:08:49
  Yeah, don't be shy. It's one of those things that
• 1:08:51
  for an hour we've been talking about everyone does it, everyone
• 1:08:56
  wants to do it. You just got to.
• 1:08:58
  We got to change the mindset that it's OK to have these
• 1:09:01
  conversations. One of the reasons that I wanted
• 1:09:04
  to do this podcast is I have very few people in my life that
• 1:09:07
  I can have real conversations with, right?
• 1:09:10
  Because for one reason or another, you're going to hit an
• 1:09:13
  issue that's going to offend them, it's going to make them
• 1:09:16
  nervous, it's going to make them angry.
• 1:09:19
  So I tend to spend a lot of time by myself just because I want to
• 1:09:23
  have these conversations, but other people aren't ready for
• 1:09:26
  them, right? So this is a pleasure for me to
• 1:09:29
  be able to sit down with people who are open minded, like
• 1:09:33
  minded. I learned, you know, just, I
• 1:09:36
  didn't know half the stuff you just said today.
• 1:09:38
  So in the last 150 episodes, I've learned just such an
• 1:09:42
  incredible amount of information I didn't have before that now I
• 1:09:46
  apply to my life and I hope other people are listening and
• 1:09:49
  do the same thing. Opening your mind is the best
• 1:09:52
  thing you can do is just don't be so married to your ideas and
• 1:09:56
  be rigid about your ideologies. It's like sex is one of those
• 1:10:01
  things. It's beautiful.
• 1:10:02
  It's supposed to be beautiful. And like you said, as long as
• 1:10:04
  nobody's getting hurt and nothing illegal is being done.
• 1:10:08
  And all your sense of age, right?
• 1:10:10
  Yeah. And the other cool thing about
• 1:10:13
  stuff that I will say, not all her stuff is about just this.
• 1:10:15
  The products she talks about, the health aspects, she talks
• 1:10:20
  about the relationship aspect. She she, she talks about like if
• 1:10:23
  you're suffering from erectile dysfunction, she talks about
• 1:10:26
  that. She talks about it from the
• 1:10:27
  women's side too. If the women just can't get
• 1:10:29
  aroused and excited. So it's, it's, it's not just,
• 1:10:31
  oh, buy my stuff. There's actual genuine,
• 1:10:35
  heartfelt with, with knowledge based backing it of ways to
• 1:10:39
  overcome certain things within your life that may be affecting.
• 1:10:42
  Because let's face it, if your sexual life isn't as grand as
• 1:10:45
  you think it should be, it spills over into your everyday
• 1:10:47
  relationship life and that crazes that friction and
• 1:10:50
  tension, you know, and then you wake up angry because you know,
• 1:10:54
  another day didn't have sex and what was wrong with me?
• 1:10:56
  Then you have that self doubt thing.
• 1:10:57
  Then you have the insecurities thing.
• 1:10:58
  So it. Well, you just said something
• 1:11:00
  that I it's near and dear to my heart because I actually dated a
• 1:11:04
  girl who had that problem. She couldn't have sex through
• 1:11:07
  intercourse or she couldn't have an orgasm through intercourse.
• 1:11:10
  So, but she was honest about it. And that's something that's
• 1:11:13
  important for women, is tell your partner what you need,
• 1:11:18
  right? You have no idea as a man,
• 1:11:21
  that's just, I'm going to focus on that.
• 1:11:23
  But you know, I, you have no idea as a, as a man, how
• 1:11:27
  powerful it is when your, when your wife shares something with
• 1:11:31
  you like that, because the trust factor alone is huge.
• 1:11:37
  And then then you have that understanding of whatever that
• 1:11:41
  issue was. Then you can go forward with it
• 1:11:43
  together and find. Yeah, we just came up with Plan
• 1:11:45
  B. It's like, you know, she, I'll
• 1:11:47
  make you happy. Here's how you're going to make
• 1:11:49
  me happy. Or here's how you can make me.
• 1:11:51
  You know, it wasn't a demand. It was right, Here's what I need
• 1:11:54
  from you. And going forward, it was
• 1:11:57
  beautiful. You know, it's like I know what
• 1:11:59
  you need. She knows what I need.
• 1:12:01
  We can move on. But if you don't have that
• 1:12:03
  conversation, I think you've probably encountered through
• 1:12:06
  your practice men and women who just have never talked about
• 1:12:11
  what they need to be happy. They just go through the motions
• 1:12:15
  like they think they're supposed to, but nobody's ever satisfied.
• 1:12:19
  Yeah, yeah. Or just we just think we're all
• 1:12:21
  mind readers. They're like, they should just
• 1:12:23
  know. They should just know that you
• 1:12:25
  know. Sure, you said it earlier kind
• 1:12:27
  of being funny, but those people are out there.
• 1:12:29
  If you watch porn, you know it. There's people that like feet,
• 1:12:32
  you know they like to suck on people's feet and that's what
• 1:12:34
  makes them happy. Nobody is going to guess that
• 1:12:37
  you want to suck on someones toes.
• 1:12:39
  Yeah, you have to tell them. Yeah, right.
• 1:12:42
  And she, and she talks about that, she talks about like the
• 1:12:44
  oral fixation of having a, a thumb in your mouth while you're
• 1:12:47
  having engaging in sex and, and the different things that the
• 1:12:50
  different, right and the different things that does to
• 1:12:52
  your body. And it's just, that's what I'm
• 1:12:54
  saying. If, if she's not just about sex
• 1:12:57
  toys. So you really need to go check
• 1:12:59
  her out, follow her, watch her stuff because she encompasses
• 1:13:02
  everything from enhancing your bedroom experience to just
• 1:13:05
  enhancing your life and your relationship status and
• 1:13:07
  communication, how to do it healthy in, in body positive
• 1:13:11
  ways. It's, it's, it's not a taboo
• 1:13:12
  thing. It's not bad to talk about sex.
• 1:13:15
  Now, if my grandmother was still alive, I would not tell her I
• 1:13:17
  have Steph Conger on the show because she was my grandmother,
• 1:13:20
  right? But, but it's, it's because you
• 1:13:23
  have people that are, you know, in, in old school and stuff like
• 1:13:27
  that, which is fine. Everybody has their own lane.
• 1:13:30
  But if, if anything, and that's why I wanted her on the show
• 1:13:32
  because number one, I, I dig the stuff she does and talks about
• 1:13:35
  and it's and it's, it's an approach that I think is very
• 1:13:38
  comfortable and it's and it, it open conversations.
• 1:13:41
  What you do opens conversations, right?
• 1:13:44
  Because I think, I think Nikki found you by accident and she
• 1:13:47
  shared something with me on Instagram.
• 1:13:48
  I'm like, Oh, so then you know what I mean?
• 1:13:50
  But that made me go down the rabbit hole of your stuff.
• 1:13:52
  And I'm like, this is cool. These things are cool.
• 1:13:54
  This can be fun. This is that.
• 1:13:56
  And so I really think if you haven't and you and you're if
• 1:14:01
  you're struggling in your relationship, whatever level it
• 1:14:03
  is, go follow stuff and watch some other stuff because again,
• 1:14:06
  it's not just sex based, it's everything.
• 1:14:10
  Thanks. Thanks for that.
• 1:14:12
  Yeah. Amen.
• 1:14:14
  Anything else you want to share? I had a thought and I lost it,
• 1:14:20
  and it had to do with something you were just saying.
• 1:14:23
  So it's gone. It's gone.
• 1:14:25
  OK, I'll let it's all going on. OK, We're just going to add on
• 1:14:29
  to something you were saying and I forgot.
• 1:14:30
  Damn it. Well, I think Chris is going to
• 1:14:32
  agree that this won't be your last time on the show, so.
• 1:14:36
  No, I would love to come back on Yeah.
• 1:14:38
  We would love to have you back on.
• 1:14:41
  I am doing a thank you. I enjoyed myself thoroughly.
• 1:14:45
  Thank you for for having me, but I'm doing another I'm doing
• 1:14:49
  another certification and I always have like AI always get
• 1:14:52
  like a after those things, you know, a bunch of education.
• 1:14:56
  I'm always ripped and ready to go.
• 1:14:58
  So I would love to to be back on, you know, sometime.
• 1:15:01
  I'm gonna start saying it like this.
• 1:15:03
  When you feel like you have something that you would like to
• 1:15:06
  share, we want to be the first people you share it with.
• 1:15:09
  So you get in touch with Chris and we'll make it happen.
• 1:15:12
  OK, that's I think we're going to.
• 1:15:13
  Start saying it like that. Yeah.
• 1:15:15
  OK, yeah, because yeah, I had a couple other people reach out to
• 1:15:18
  me that want to come back on the show.
• 1:15:19
  Yeah, if you have something that like you get that certification
• 1:15:22
  and you're excited about it and you want to share what your new
• 1:15:24
  knowledge, we want to be the first people you share it with
• 1:15:27
  so. Awesome.
• 1:15:28
  Yeah, Yeah. Cool.
• 1:15:29
  I mean, you get that excitement right when you go to a seminar
• 1:15:32
  and you learn a new trade. It's like.
• 1:15:33
  Love corners? Yeah, and you come and, like, go
• 1:15:35
  check this out, man. It's the greatest thing ever.
• 1:15:37
  Everybody's got to know what I know right now.
• 1:15:39
  Right. Yes, right.
• 1:15:40
  Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:15:42
  And I sent you my cell in one of the emails, so just text me back
• 1:15:45
  and then I can lock you in for there and then.
• 1:15:46
  And then that'll be easier to connect because I'm not always
• 1:15:48
  on the Chris and my Gmail page. So again, again, you can find
• 1:15:52
  Steph. Let me share the screen.
• 1:15:53
  You'll find steph@stephstephconger.com and
• 1:15:56
  it's STEFCONGER dot com when you go to the Google machine.
• 1:16:02
  Yep, Steph with an F. So when you go into the Google
• 1:16:05
  machine, just there you go. Just just type, type Steph
• 1:16:10
  Conger like I did, girl. And there you come up the pure
• 1:16:14
  romance. So like you talked about, you
• 1:16:16
  were you were in the proof. I'm actually not with them
• 1:16:19
  anymore, just so everybody knows.
• 1:16:22
  They decided to go direct to consumer.
• 1:16:24
  So gotcha. I'm just my own thing now, which
• 1:16:28
  has been fun. I like this right here.
• 1:16:30
  Elevating romance and intimacy. I like that.
• 1:16:34
  Me too. That is really cool.
• 1:16:35
  Can you see it on the screen? Yeah.
• 1:16:36
  Elevating romance and intimacy. I think that's cool because,
• 1:16:39
  again, it's not just about sex, but sex is always the topic.
• 1:16:43
  It's always where people go back to.
• 1:16:45
  It's always what they blame all the struggles on with their
• 1:16:47
  relationship, things like that. So just communicate, share, open
• 1:16:51
  up your ideas. You know, she has all kinds of
• 1:16:54
  things on here like look, you have, you have favors from
• 1:16:56
  TikTok, bath and body lubes and creams, foreplay, lingerie, sex
• 1:17:00
  toy, sexual health and more education you can contact her
• 1:17:04
  for and ask questions. Think that I'm sure you're
• 1:17:06
  you're oh, look, Pickles pickle troubleshooting.
• 1:17:09
  See, that's what I'm talking about.
• 1:17:11
  Do you have any troubles with your pickle shooting?
• 1:17:13
  She's going to, she's going to help you understand and have
• 1:17:16
  this visceral reaction as a natural way to boost your
• 1:17:19
  testosterone. I agree with Chris that is way
• 1:17:21
  more clever than just going right to the.
• 1:17:24
  Right, right. Exactly, exactly.
• 1:17:28
  This is. I love this.
• 1:17:29
  This is. I mean, and like he said
• 1:17:30
  earlier, those are conversation starters, right?
• 1:17:32
  So if I had seen this, he would have been the first person that
• 1:17:35
  I've contacted. I've been like, have you seen
• 1:17:37
  this website? Right.
• 1:17:39
  Yeah, like, you know, and. I think that reminds me of what?
• 1:17:42
  Yeah. No, Yeah.
• 1:17:44
  We're not talking about, like, glass.
• 1:17:46
  I care, right? That brings me back to to what I
• 1:17:49
  wanted to just say. Good.
• 1:17:51
  Good. Side no, but whatever is that.
• 1:17:55
  That is what it is what you were saying, Chris, about people
• 1:17:59
  sending stuff. It's, I talk a lot about opening
• 1:18:03
  up the lines of communication, right?
• 1:18:05
  And sometimes as crazy it is, is you can be married to somebody.
• 1:18:09
  I have met women who have been married to their partner for
• 1:18:12
  years and their partner does not know that they've never had an
• 1:18:16
  orgasm with them. OK, and I'm not judging or
• 1:18:19
  shaming. I'm just saying that has to
• 1:18:21
  change. We have to change that.
• 1:18:23
  And so if if it's as simple for that person that's probably
• 1:18:27
  thinking, Oh my gosh, now I've gone five years, how am I going
• 1:18:30
  to how am I going to talk about it?
• 1:18:31
  Now? If they come across a video of
• 1:18:33
  mine that says how to give her better orgasms, like tips for
• 1:18:37
  guys, and then she can send that off to him as that icebreaker
• 1:18:42
  that just says maybe we could try something new.
• 1:18:45
  And she doesn't. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:18:47
  That's the Segway, that's the, that's the bridge that starts
• 1:18:51
  where. And, and I believe that I do
• 1:18:53
  that for people. Not like I do too, but I'm like,
• 1:18:56
  that's what I, that's what I want to do for people, too,
• 1:18:59
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:19:01
  Technology's cool like that. We can send, we can hit share
• 1:19:05
  and send it off and let me do the hard stuff, you know?
• 1:19:07
  Let me do the talking for you. Yeah, and that's the coolest
• 1:19:10
  thing about it. That's, I mean, again, that's,
• 1:19:12
  that's how I found you cuz you, you came up in her feed for
• 1:19:15
  something and she shared it. And then so I went down the
• 1:19:18
  rabbit hole and I'm like, this is really cool because again,
• 1:19:21
  it's not, it's not just about toys and things like that, boys
• 1:19:24
  and girls, It's, it's education, it's knowledge.
• 1:19:26
  It's helping you understand like, like what we have up right
• 1:19:29
  now. This is a huge thing with men
• 1:19:31
  over 40 all test goes down. So here's a way on her website,
• 1:19:36
  stephconger.com Steph with an F natural ways to boost your
• 1:19:40
  testosterone. Then you got sexting prompts for
• 1:19:42
  couples. So that's we talked about
• 1:19:44
  earlier with the date just and things like that, right?
• 1:19:47
  We're like here, Steph. So like legit kegels for men,
• 1:19:51
  you know, women think kegels are just a people think kegels are
• 1:19:54
  just for women in their Hoo ha. But guess what?
• 1:19:57
  Kegels for men work too. So and, and, and, you know, so
• 1:20:01
  just really check her out. You're going to, you're going to
• 1:20:03
  be amazed what you learn on all levels of relationships, not
• 1:20:06
  just the sexual aspect of it. And it's going to make your
• 1:20:09
  relationship that much better. Trust me.
• 1:20:11
  Yeah. This has been awesome.
• 1:20:13
  Yeah, thank you. I agree.
• 1:20:14
  I had a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:20:16
  So again, so thank you so much stuff for coming on the show.
• 1:20:18
  Again, this is for Mike and Chris.
• 1:20:20
  If you're feeling depressed and suicidal, don't do that.
• 1:20:24
  Go journal, go outside and run and go work out.
• 1:20:27
  Go show him in the pillow. Go have sex, right Steph explain
• 1:20:31
  how the explain how depression having sex helps with
• 1:20:34
  depression. Go ahead.
• 1:20:35
  Oh. My gosh, you get, you get A rush
• 1:20:37
  of serotonin, you get oxytocin comes after.
• 1:20:41
  So oxytocin is incredible because after you have sex with
• 1:20:44
  your partner, women get a huge boost of oxytocin that makes you
• 1:20:48
  love your partner. Like you will literally be like,
• 1:20:51
  oh, and guess what? When you love your partner, you
• 1:20:53
  probably feel less sad. OK, It's good for your skin,
• 1:20:56
  like so many things. And sometimes, yeah, a solution
• 1:21:00
  if you're feeling grumpy or sad is really just flicking your
• 1:21:03
  bean or if. You don't have that option and
• 1:21:05
  because I'm the same pickle your.
• 1:21:06
  Pickle. I'll say it like Rogan says it
• 1:21:09
  Go rub one out. Yep.
• 1:21:12
  And so, so in in this stuff. Conquer language.
• 1:21:14
  Tickle your pickle or rub your bean.
• 1:21:16
  Yes, OK, but no serious. But, and now back to the serious
• 1:21:19
  side of it. You can text 988.
• 1:21:21
  Somebody is standing by waiting to talk to you.
• 1:21:24
  You are loved. You will be missed.
• 1:21:26
  Don't leave a hole in somebody else's heart because tomorrow is
• 1:21:28
  always going to be a better day with you waking up in it for the
• 1:21:31
  Chris and Mike show. I'm Chris.
• 1:21:33
  He's Mike and this is the the fantastic Steph Conger,
• 1:21:36
  stephconger.com with an F Check her out.
• 1:21:38
  Trust me, you're going to thank me for going and following her
• 1:21:41
  and just the things you're going to learn.
• 1:21:43
  It's going to be fantastic. Until next time, we'll see you.
• 1:21:46
  Thank you, Steph. Thanks again.
• 1:21:47
  Love you, Mike. Love you Mike, just love you too
• 1:21:49
  all. Right bro.
• 1:21:51
  Peace. We're clearing it.
• 1:21:56
  We don't want to fly in this door for you.
• 1:22:00
  Look the tablet. Go insane.
• 1:22:04
  Feel the peaceful video. I don't get your knees.
• 1:22:10
  The place where you will go behind your eyes.
• 1:22:22
  So that means you're good. Take a moment.
• 1:22:27
  Look. Until you see it.
• 1:22:30
  Fight the battle. That's you.
• 1:22:31
  You fuck weird. Fight the battle.
• 1:22:36
  Look, you fuck weird. Who is your baby to your finger?
• 1:22:40
  Oh yeah. Now you're turning.
• 1:24:00
  Come down here. We haven't found solids in the
• 1:24:04
  sand. If I'm fighting wait for the
• 1:24:09
  dead or when it's going around, you get for the wind.
• 1:24:13
  If you ain't no creature, we're playing fire.
• 1:24:18
  And you should. You quit on the Almighty.
• 1:24:23
  Got a dream? Who in your life?
• 1:24:27
  The people Soul in every man. Take the trip behind your eyes.
• 1:24:36
  Feel the soul. That one you shall now.
• 1:24:38
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.