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Unmasking Self-Sabotage: When Fear Disguises Itself as Wisdom · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

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  Welcome back to Unmasked, where we take off the filters and get
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  real about faith, failure, and finding freedom.
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  I'm your host, Wesley Farnsworth, a dad, veteran,
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  author, and a man who has learned that often the hard way,
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  God doesn't just work around our mess, he works through it.
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  Today's episode is called Unmasking Self Sabotage, When
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  Your greatest Enemy is in the Mirror, and I want to say this
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  up front, gently, but clearly, this episode is not about shame
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  and it's not about beating yourself up, and it's definitely
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  not about blaming yourself for everything that's gone wrong.
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  This is about awareness because you cannot heal what you refuse
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  to see. See, there's often a quiet war
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  within us. Most of us think of spiritual
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  warfare as something external. We think of it as temptation,
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  opposition attacks from the enemy.
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  But one of the most dangerous battlegrounds is internal,
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  because the enemy rarely needs to destroy us outright.
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  He just needs to keep us stuck. He needs to keep us stuck in
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  patterns, stuck in fear, stuck in delay, stuck in almost.
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  And often. The tool that keeps us stuck
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  isn't obvious sin, it's self sabotage.
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  Self sabotage is the quiet agreement we make with fear
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  while telling ourselves we're being wise.
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  So what a self sabotage look like.
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  I can tell you the self sabotage doesn't normally look dramatic.
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  It looks like starting strong and slowly fading.
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  Knowing what to do but never quite doing it.
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  Getting close to healing and then backing away.
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  Staying busy to avoid being honest.
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  Saying someday instead of today. Do any of those resonate with
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  you? It's a habit of interrupting
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  your own progress. You don't blow everything up,
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  you just never fully step in. And over time, that creates a
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  life that feels spiritually frustrating because deep down,
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  you know there's more. So why do we do this to
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  ourselves? Let's slow down here for a
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  minute because this matters most.
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  People who self sabotage are not lazy, they're not unmotivated,
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  they're not weak, they're not afraid.
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  Fear of failure is one of the reasons that we do this to
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  ourselves because failure threatens our sense of worth.
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  If I try and fail, what does that say about me?
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  If I step out and fall, will I confirm my worst fears?
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  So instead of risking failure, we choose avoidance.
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  But here's the truth, avoidance doesn't protect you, it slowly
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  erodes your confidence. Another reason that we do this
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  to ourselves is the fear of exposure.
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  Healing requires honesty. Calling requires visibility, and
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  visibility feels dangerous. If you've learned that being
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  seen leads to rejection, judgment, or pain, then you stay
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  guarded. You curate, you control the
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  narrative, you stay safe, but not free.
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  Another reason we may do this is the fear of success.
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  This one is uncomfortable to admit because what if God
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  actually changes me? What if I become someone new?
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  What if I can't go back? Growth response.
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  Growth demands responsibility, and responsibility means that
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  you can't hide behind the old, and responsibility means that
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  you can't hide behind the old excuses anymore.
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  Sometimes we sabotage success because the success would
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  require us to let go of the identities that we've used for
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  so long to survive. Another reason we may do it is
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  attachment to the old story. Even painful identities can feel
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  familiar. The struggler, the one who's
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  always behind, the one who needs help but never leads.
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  Healing requires burying an old version of yourself, and
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  resurrection always feels unsettling at first.
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  The 5th and final reason that we may do this to ourself is
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  waiting for perfection. We wait until we feel confident
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  enough. We wait until we feel healed
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  enough, until we feel disciplined enough or spiritual
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  enough. The Scripture never shows God
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  calling the ready. He calls the willing.
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  Here's where it gets especially subtle, because spiritual self
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  sabotage often hides behind the spiritual language.
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  I'm just waiting on God. I'm still praying about it.
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  I don't want to rush God's timing.
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  And sometimes that's true. But sometimes, if we're honest,
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  it's fear. Wearing a faith costume.
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  God's timing is real, but delay rooted in fear is not obedience.
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  Faith doesn't always wait. Sometimes faith moves well,
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  trembling. And at some point there has to
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  be a moment of clarity. If you haven't had it, it's
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  coming. It's the moment when you look in
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  the mirror, the moment when you realize I keep repeating the
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  same cycles. I keep praying the same prayers.
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  I keep asking God to change things while resisting change.
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  This is not a moment of condemnation.
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  It's a moment of invitation. Because the moment you stop
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  blaming everything outside of you, you regain the power over
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  what's within you. I've had seasons where I asked
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  God for freedom but was still clinging the habits that kept me
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  numb. Seasons when I prayed for
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  purpose but I avoided the risk that that purpose required.
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  I've had seasons where I wanted transformation, but only if it
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  didn't disrupt my comfort. And God patiently but firmly
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  kept bringing me back to one truth.
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  And he said, Wes, I'm not holding you back.
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  You are. That realization hurt, but it
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  healed. How do you break the cycles of
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  self sabotage? Let's talk about that for a
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  moment. Let's talk about some things
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  that actually help. The first thing that you can do
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  to break the cycle of self sabotage is to name the pattern.
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  See, self sabotage thrives in vagueness.
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  So ask yourself, where do I consistently stop short?
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  What excuses feel reasonable but repeat often?
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  What step do I keep postponing? Naming the pattern breaks the
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  power. Another thing that you can do to
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  break the cycle of self sabotage is to identify the lie button
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  beneath it. Self sabotage is usually
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  protecting A belief. I'm not capable, I'll ruin it.
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  I don't deserve better. But scripture says he who began
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  a work good work in you, He who began a good work in you will be
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  faithful to complete it. If God starts this work, he is
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  not intimidated by your weakness.
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  Another thing that we can do in the final thing to break the
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  cycle of self sabotage is to take one brave step.
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  I know you've heard me say this before.
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  One step. I encourage you to do it often
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  on this podcast. But take a brave step.
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  Not a leap, not a full plan, just one step.
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  Make the call, schedule the appointment, have the
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  conversation, set the boundary. Movement disrupts stagnation.
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  And when you're obedient, that changes everything.
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  Because courage doesn't precede obedience, if follows it.
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  Confidence is not a prerequisite, it's a by product.
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  Every major shift in my life has started with a small
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  uncomfortable, yes, not a bold, not confident, just honest.
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  And God has met me every time, not with pressure, but with
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  grace. If you're listening to this
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  still and you're thinking this is me, I hear you.
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  How did you know hear this? You're not listening to this by
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  accident today, and you are not broken beyond repair.
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  You are not lazy, and you are not feeling God.
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  You're still learning. I'm still learning.
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  And learning often begins with unlearning patterns that have
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  once kept us safe. So I want to ask you a few
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  questions to consider today as we wrap up, but I don't want you
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  to rush past these. Take a moment, listen to them
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  and contemplate them. Maybe write them down so that
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  you can refer back to them. Are you ready?
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  The first question is, where have I been getting in my own
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  way? The second question, what fear
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  has been driving my hesitation? The third question is what step
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  has God been inviting me to take over and over again?
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  And finally, what would it look like to say yes this time?
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  Because God is not waiting for you to become fearless.
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  He just wants you to become willing.
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  He's waiting for you. The ball is in your court.
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  You don't have to stop being afraid to move forward.
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  You just have to stop letting the fear make decisions for you.
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  Thanks for joining me today on Unmasked.
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  If this episode spoke to you, would you take a moment and
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  share it with somebody else who might need to hear it too?
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  Until next time, remember that grace is greater than your past,
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  and growth begins with honesty. And freedom starts when we stop
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  hiding from God and from ourselves, and we choose to live
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  unmasked. God bless you.