Latest / Drama, Darling: A Real Housewives Comedy Podcast / The Valley episode 3 Recap with Jaime Moyer

Transcript

The Valley episode 3 Recap with Jaime Moyer · Drama, Darling: A Real Housewives Comedy Podcast

0:05
Drama Darling, Drama, Darling, Drama Darling. Well, hello darlings,
0:21
welcome back. It is drama Darling, It is Thursday, and my gal
0:25
Jamie Moyer is here. Hi. Yay. You have the best theme song
0:31
in all of the podcast world. Ah, Josh Funk, absolutely brilliant.
0:37
Josh Funk put that all together. And those are the dulcet tones of him
0:40
that I never get sick of hearing every day. Yeah. Great, it's
0:45
just so lovely, Jamie. We are so excited to talk about the valley
0:49
today. Oh mg. Okay, but before we do get into that,
0:58
just to just as neat serving dish, cheek into some dish. Now,
1:03
First off, the Real Housewives of Orange County are on a cast trip in
1:07
London, and apparently, according to Queens of Bravo Plus, they are.
1:14
Well, there's been some footage or some pictures taken of them, like on
1:18
the way to London where they're in the plane and there's literally like a picture
1:23
of them and it's and it's like drama. Let me tell you, drama
1:29
on a plane is almost as bad as snakes on a plane. Nowhere to
1:33
go, nowhere to go? You can't go it You gotta just sit there.
1:36
What's worse snakes or housewives on a plane? Iwives? And the credit
1:42
for this picture goes to at Gary. I'm sorry not I almost said Gary
1:47
Coleman because it looks like that from Afar and I don't have my glasses on.
1:49
But it's at Gray Coleman, So thank you Gray, and also Gary
1:55
Coleman for there. Oh sure, yes he's got I hope so yes.
2:04
So any who, I really just want to make a note that a gorgeous
2:10
darling of mine, Kathleen Fleck, she sent me, you know, after
2:15
the water party on vander Pump Rules. She sent me the bottle that black
2:21
bottle carbonated Nevis Magnum Couve water that he said was like a thousand dollars per
2:25
bottle. Well it's not that. Apparently, it's like one hundred and sixty
2:31
two dollars. It even says on here like she was like, I think
2:37
it's one hundred. I think it's one thousand dollars per case, and that
2:40
it's one hundred and eighty dollars per bottle. But I'm looking on this graphic
2:45
that she sent me, and it literally says one hundred and eighty dollars per
2:49
case. Not Yeah, so look, I think it's right. Water guy,
2:57
I think can we get at Rice check on that magnum of water in
3:01
Aisle four please, because it's not checking out the way that they had said.
3:07
Yeah, we go to CVS. It's behind the glass. We got
3:09
a call for assistance sting don I need some water and also some razors.
3:15
Please come open the case, yes, babe. Okay, Chamills loves loves
3:24
the sound effects. Okay, so also the other thing, and this got
3:30
to page six. So Jacks was at Jackson's Bar in Studio City, which
3:34
Jamie and I and some of the other darlings went to in an attempt to
3:37
go to one night. They were closed for a personally. Yeah, so
3:43
anyway, we never got there, but people apparently are popping up there all
3:46
the time. And he must have been having some sort of watch party or
3:51
what have you, because he was sitting There is footage of him talking about
3:53
vander Pump rules and he's got a microphone and he is just slamming, slamming
4:00
the show and he's just like scripted, scripted. I mean, he's basically
4:04
like heckling the show, saying the first six seasons were totally organic, amazing,
4:10
but now and after that totally scripted. And he's like, that's why
4:15
you want to come over to the valley. We're all new cast and it's
4:19
not scripted at all. Well, he's not wrong about that, I mean,
4:23
at least from what it seems, it's pretty good. But what are
4:28
your thoughts on Jack's piping popping off take to task the word scripted. I
4:33
think it's more like manufactured manufcactured interactions, manufactured trips to the juicery, whatever
4:43
the hell. He's basically saying. They don't hang out with each other,
4:46
they don't need the money as much, they're not working at a job manufactured.
4:50
I don't think any of them can get off book. I'm a script
4:55
Oh jesus, I'm so sorry. That was really loud and i was an
5:00
intent. I'm such a little kid. I'm like more sounded like, but
5:05
yeah so. But also Jack's like with a crowd around him, not you
5:10
know, maybe not realizing that someone's taping him. And kudos to that.
5:15
That was impressed Darling to take that whole thing. Maybe at present Darling,
5:18
maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was Emily. I don't know. Write Austin.
5:23
But uh, you know, he's good scripted. He just loves to
5:27
have a have a crowd watching him do things, and then he's like here.
5:30
Then when the valley starts, he's like, here we go with the
5:32
raw the real. I'm like okay ah ah. And everyone at Jackson's studio
5:40
City is like, I mean they're kind of into it, you know what
5:43
I mean, Like they're definitely listening, They're definitely there. And I'm applauding
5:47
because I just like Jack's behind a microphone being like scripted, just just cat
5:53
calling and harassing his ex former show to launch his new one. It's as
5:59
messy as a gets and I'm totally here for it. So well, that's
6:04
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dot com slash d d Oh but duh. Now let's get into the valley,
8:56
Jamie. I found myself like four minutes in and I'm like, is
9:01
this explosive drama going to come to a ceasefire at some point? Is it
9:09
going to calm down for the rest of the episode? Where are we going?
9:11
It took me forever to watch this because I was frantically trying to write
9:16
down notes because the drama did not stop. Yes, it started quickly and
9:20
in a very artistic way editors by having it have a grounding in brit brit
9:26
recapping to Jack's at the Farmer's market what happened, and then some cutbacks so
9:33
they didn't even give it to us in real time, which I don't know
9:37
exactly why that happened. Now I have to say, whoever is editing this
9:41
show, they are probably like, let me at it. I want to
9:45
try something new, let me get this show to pop off. And it
9:50
worked. I mean these flashbacks, the Zach coming in with that Cepia tone
9:54
filter, like I never said that, you know that, just getting these
10:01
like little little amuse boushes of flashbacks, and it's so you know, Rottenhil.
10:09
I mean, it's very much like it's so on that vibe. And
10:13
to be getting in pieces and not all at once was amazing. Yeah,
10:18
that was wild. I thought that was very well edited. And what a
10:24
what a dumb fight? I mean, it was funny to be like,
10:31
Wow, to follow the train of telephone without being fully confident in all of
10:37
these people's names was quite something. I had to wrestle with it for a
10:43
while. You had to churn out. You were like a beautiful minding it,
10:46
you know, by the way, just to just to start with,
10:50
just to start Chris, Kristen gets upset about what happens with her ex coming
10:56
to the party, and she pivots in a spectacular doughty fashion to filling some
11:03
tea that's been on her heart. Frankly, I think it's been on her
11:07
heart that she wanted to mention this. She had it in her back pocket.
11:11
She studies at the school of Jack's Taylor, they're very similar. She
11:15
knows shed in the valley. Yeah, they're in the valley. She knows
11:18
what drama will will pop, and so she's been sitting on this and it's
11:24
just funny. She probably didn't intend to pop it off at that party,
11:28
but when she got in the hot seat and she was starting to fight Brittany
11:33
and she was getting upset at Jack, she was crying, suddenly she just
11:37
spills it. And I do find it interesting they don't let us see that
11:39
trajectory. Why not? Why just the news? They never let us see
11:46
the transition into it, which I'm sure was messy. Do you mean when
11:52
it actually took place at the girls' night? Yes, at the girl's night.
11:56
How she I would have loved to have seen the transition from what's he
12:01
doing at the party? This is not nice to And by the way,
12:05
you I heard this about you, you know what I mean, like kind
12:07
of like what was that transition? You mean when Zach was saying like,
12:13
I didn't say that that type of stuff, Okay, And what I'm saying
12:16
is they go from Kristen being in the hot seat to a bunch of flashbacks
12:20
that show us exactly what happened. But I would have loved to have seen
12:26
that doughty transition to take herself out of the hot seat, like how did
12:30
she? How did she do that? I thought we saw it and it
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didn't take much. Like, I think that what you're saying is like,
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it's so crazy that we missed it. There were like literally was no transition,
12:43
cause like you know how when you're doing a presentation, as you know,
12:46
you're you're a teacher, your public speaker, your performer, whatever,
12:50
and as a comedian yourself, you'll make jokes. When you're hosting something,
12:54
You'll be like, welcome to the fundraiser. This charity is all about kids,
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and you know, you know what reminds me of kids, electronics?
13:05
You know what I mean, There's really no connection. You're like, because
13:09
best Buy is sponsoring this, Like there's no connection, but you have to
13:11
force your way into it. So I honestly think that when christ is explaining
13:16
herself, she's like I was backed into a corner and I just like,
13:18
you know, I don't know why like this happened, but it's like,
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it's crazy to me that she would try to distract from what was going on
13:28
with her and put it onto Michelle and Jasmine and Zach and Janet into a
13:39
racist spin about something when in fact that has been the entire downfall of her
13:46
that she's trying to climb out of it's almost like, don't say pink,
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don't think elephant, don't think elephant. Don't think I'm thinking about an elephant,
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you know what I mean? Yes, because how did we get here?
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And also the other thing to Jamie is like, Kristin, there's got
14:05
to be some level of truth to this, because we saw Zach being like
14:11
kind of compromising to her at some point, being like, yes, that
14:13
is kind of like what Michelle said. He did kind of cop to it
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at one point, and so we're getting sort of some we're getting some fumes
14:24
of what really could be underneath there, but at the same time, there
14:28
are no hard truths, and it seems like a game of telephone. But
14:33
then you've got Kristin going like, I know what I heard, and I'm
14:35
kind of thinking, like at the end of the day, with Kristin,
14:37
sometimes she really does say the truth, whether she means to or not.
14:41
Right, well, I got the vibe of it just you know how sometimes
14:46
you're just people are just talking yes, so you know, blah blah blah.
14:50
So the vibe of it was that it was much more casual than a
14:58
pointed dig. It was like it was like, wow, she's probably republican.
15:03
You know, they probably you know what republican is not racist, Like
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it was kind of like a like like however it was said, I don't.
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I don't, although even as I'm saying it right now, that sounds
15:13
very inflammatory. So it had to have been more pointed, like, you
15:16
know, but it but it sounds like it was just somebody talking Janet just
15:22
blah blah blah or whatever. But then you had that whole thing about yeah,
15:28
don't say gay law, that's right. That's where it gets tricky because
15:31
it's a specific law that was discussed, and they're saying that Michelle didn't have
15:41
a problem with it, and that she's saying that law protects children, right,
15:46
and perhaps Michelle is conservative, and whoever was making whoever made the first
15:50
comment, was just going down their own little rabbit hole. Yeah, but
15:56
they're the I agree with you one hundred percent. Amy. What happened at
16:00
the end of the episode is exactly why I believe Kristen should have just zipped
16:06
it on this, because at the end of the episode, he's like,
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isn't this exactly what happened to you? I know you you twenty twenty June
16:19
first, Kristin do do you cancel? Yeah? I mean it's like and
16:22
here she is, She's like, I'm just giving a second chance, and
16:25
like I completely screwed it up. Like it's like, yes, you did,
16:27
why did you? Why? Why did you do this? And like
16:33
how do you even It's just like the third episode and how are you gonna
16:36
come back from this? And it's not that I'm saying that Kristen is a
16:41
racist, and I'm not even calling anybody a racist, but the fact that
16:44
we are now landed in you know, cozy and Valley Village, and now
16:48
we're having to talk about racism within your group, and now we're talking about
16:56
political parties, and we're discussing homophobia, and we have a person of color
17:03
on the show who you're specifically talking about. I'm talking about Jasmine, We're
17:07
talking about Zach. You know, it's just like now everyone is under fire.
17:12
And then you see Michelle I'm sorry Janet in her confessionals, having to
17:18
defend herself and then she's bringing up the don't say gay law and she's bringing
17:22
up what she thought she heard Janet say, I'm sorry, no, no,
17:26
no, no, that's Janet, Janet saying that about Michelle see.
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This is hard enough as it is. I'm gonna have to sue all of
17:33
them for putting this on me to like figure out as we move along,
17:37
but it is so freaking messy, and then to have Jesse top it off
17:44
with yelling at the table in the most disgusting I mean, by the way
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I did dress in Capri where which didn't know we were calling it that?
17:56
But apparently I wouldn't know because I've never been to. My big takeaway is
18:02
what was with Capri? I mean, I guess maybe that's it I have
18:07
been. I always thought it was Capri, but again maybe I'm like Jack's
18:11
how hard did Britney laugh at that job? I love, like, oh
18:15
my god, She's like, He's like, oh, I know, is
18:18
Caprice. She's like, oh my god, you you it's tough for you
18:22
to do this stand up. Everything you say is gold, baby, go
18:29
just sep. She like it's like a machine gun of laughter. But I
18:42
also love that for them. I'm like, you guys, find yourself someone
18:47
who will laugh at your jokes, like Brittany laughs at and look at how
18:52
Jack's lit up. You know that's gonna make him feel good if he said
18:55
that around us, like if one of our friends said that, oh my
18:59
god, they would be persecuted, I mean, comedically flogged in the public
19:03
square. You know. In our friend group, we barely speak. We're
19:08
just afraid of someone being like, what did you just say? I'm like,
19:12
I like biscuits. They're like, you get out of the party.
19:17
You moura, oh my god, Oh my god. I'm trying to get
19:23
into terrifying to bring a guy around our friends. I'm like like, like,
19:27
you know, especially if he's like, I'm hilarious at the office.
19:30
I'm like, you know, you're friends with like the top comedy geniuses of
19:37
the world, and you bring a guy around he's like, knock knock.
19:38
You're like, I gotta go. I just get a call. My car's
19:41
on fire, I have my beeper, I gotta go. No, like
19:48
you're the king. Well we know that, Like at least if she moves
19:56
back into the house, they'll have they'll always have their sense of here,
20:00
you know what I mean? Or is that is that why she left because
20:04
she got she didn't like the dad jokes anymore? You know, No,
20:07
it's definitely not that. Definitely like that, that's like that's like on the
20:12
list of what's up with jack that's like number ninety eight of one hundred red
20:18
flags. Hey, Brittany, Brittany, Brittany, I was over at uh.
20:26
I pulled up in my golf cart to Jackson's studio City and it's like,
20:30
I'm ready to hit a hole in one what j oh that killed me
20:41
anyway? Killed me dead? That killed me dead? But yeah, all
20:45
right, well we're getting ahead to the party. Let's go back. It's
20:48
fine back okay, time all right, so flashback, okay, So Breton
20:52
Kristen argue, okay about in Jackson inviting Alex to guys Night and at that
21:00
girl's night. BRIT's like, but aren't you stared shit up? Come out?
21:03
And then Kristen's like, well, uh, I mean it's literally went
21:07
like this. You're talking about the hard pivot into Kristin panicking and this is
21:11
I literally wrote it down. Brittany and Kristen are arguing about Jack's inviting Alex
21:17
to guy's Night. Brittany's like, aren't you starred shit up? Come out?
21:19
Janet told Jasmine that Michelle's a Republican and probably racist, what like,
21:22
what we are you kidding me? So that's how we got there and then
21:29
Jasmine is like, Kristen look at me in the eyes and she was like,
21:33
you are not going to say that. Janet told me that she was
21:36
a racist. So and then we got Kristin being like, that's what Zach
21:40
told me. And Zach's just like, I yeah, rore sad from the
21:47
kitchen, you know, yeah, but you have a problem. Boyfriend was
21:52
there too. My boyfriend was there and he's co signing the story. Kristen's
21:57
boyfriend's escapes me right now, Luke Van Go, Luke the go, then
22:04
go with the ear on the go with ear. He heard it too,
22:10
so because he has his ears. You see how I made those correlations.
22:14
He has those ears, He's got those Colorado nine ache acre ears, and
22:19
he's ready to listen. He's ready to have Kristen's back. I have to
22:23
say. And I know I'm jumping ahead again, but kind of loved that
22:29
when Jesse was losing his shit, Luke's like, calm down, Yeah,
22:33
don't talk that way to her. Don't talk that way to her, thank
22:38
you, Jamie. And he didn't like that. Here I pulled up a
22:41
picture of Van. Go tell me I'm wrong, No, You're dead on
22:45
right. I mean, it's like, I can't even it's amazing. How
22:51
did you even think of it? Were you thinking of that when you were
22:52
watching the show, or did you just come up with that now? It
22:56
just came up. Blessings to my brain thanks to age won my new I've
23:03
been drinking that, drinking that ag one. My brain is sharp in the
23:07
morning. Now. It's never been like this. I know, I hear
23:11
that. I hear that. So then we go over to uh it's the
23:14
morning after that Jesse and Michelle's house, and Michelle's like, this is the
23:18
first time in my life I've ever heard my name associated with these words.
23:22
And there's they're dropping the F bomb around their little girl. So funny.
23:26
It's funny that it ended with with Michelle saying it's so classic, parents classic.
23:33
And I felt really bad for her. That is terrible, that's a
23:37
very it's all amatory. Yeah, it felt bad for her. It's like,
23:41
you know, first of all, don't put anyone's political party to task,
23:48
and you know that way and also call people racist. It was just
23:52
gross. And she is going through it enough with her marriage. Did she
23:56
need all of that at that girl's night at her own home, at her
24:00
own home. It wasn't the time, and wasn't the place at the time,
24:04
nor the place, and I just think Kristian was sitting on it and
24:07
she just decided to blow the lid, and she just it was a it
24:12
was a biff, She beffed it. It was because she kind of did
24:17
you know, you would think that she'd be more sensitive to that based on
24:19
what happened to her and taking accountability for the things that she did and you
24:26
know, learning from that. Then to light someone on fire with that accusation
24:32
is really tough because even though I am not a fan of Jesse's, that
24:36
type of thing can ruin your u your not only your reputation, obviously your
24:42
character. You know, your friends. You know, if your friends think
24:48
you think of you of that way or and then your business, I mean,
24:51
everything goes along with it. It's just it's not good. And I
24:53
also did appreciate that she was saying that she was first generation both Mexican and
24:59
Persian, and this fact that Michelle called Janet right away, and Janet basically
25:07
says those words never came out of her mouth. So again, a game
25:11
of telephone obviously had something to do with discussing that bill when it came up,
25:17
and whatever transpired there that's not on camera, it wasn't on film.
25:22
And the fact that Kristen is calling out Zach essentially and other people for saying,
25:32
like, you guys, you know you're all new to this game on
25:34
reality, but guess what when I get on a reality TV show, I'm
25:38
going to bring up what's off camera, So get ready for it, you
25:42
know. And meanwhile, Zack's like, Kristin cannot keep a secret. It's
25:45
like, well, and I want to say, based on what you said,
25:49
you're absolutely right about how it can ruin things. But the one good
25:52
thing Michelle has going for her is not one person who watched the show,
25:57
not me, not you, say that she is a racist. I just
26:03
think, like it's going to fizzle out. This one's gonna fizzle out on
26:06
her. But as far as the spotlight going back on Kristen, perhaps,
26:10
and that's why it was so dumb, but I think that, like I
26:12
think whoever, however the conversation happened, I think it was there was one
26:18
moment on the show where someone goes it was almost like they were like,
26:22
well, if she's this and maybe this and maybe that Like, it was
26:26
almost just a flippant comment. It wasn't pointed. That's what we came across
26:30
to me. It wasn't pointed. It was just just that, you know
26:33
how, you're just people be talking. It's just say, you know,
26:37
I like orange X apples, I'll never eat a banana. Those bananas are
26:41
stupid. And then the next conversation goes Jamie says she hates bananas, and
26:45
then the next conversation is like Jamie wants a banana band across the nation.
26:49
You know, it was like, that's how that's the vibe I got from
26:53
the game of Telephone. I completely agree with what you're saying. That was
26:57
the takeaway that I had. And furthermore, you're talking about people who are
27:03
just about ready to shoot a show, and so you're talking about the cast,
27:07
you're talking about who you're going to be filming with, You're talking about
27:11
what the dynamics are going to be. That's the format of what I felt
27:15
like the conversation was taking place because they're like, well, what about this
27:18
person, what about that person? Oh, I've kind of heard this or
27:19
I'm getting that vibe when we had this conversation they said this, so you
27:23
know they're dissecting each other and what's going to happen. So now with Kristin,
27:32
she's never not moving, right, I mean, she's always got a
27:33
box in her hand. She's either coming or going. And here she is
27:37
when she's moving again and down the hall and Luke's there. I wonder how
27:41
much that apartment is. I wonder where it is in my personal neighborhoods.
27:45
I mean truly could be down the hall from you, you know what I
27:49
mean? Have you looked? And if not yet, just wait because Kristen
27:55
will be moving. So she's to Colorado, perhaps Colorado. Gosh, she's
28:03
always moving. That is so true in me, Oh my lord. So
28:07
two ear van Go says he's like basically in the apartment saying like, well,
28:15
you know, next time somebody says something, put it in your pocket,
28:19
heaven and smile. Put it in your pocket. Don't weaponize it,
28:22
you know what I mean? Like he's sing your little Next time someone says
28:30
something that seems like gossa, put it in your breast pocket. If you're
28:37
really worried you're gonna say something snapping in a locket, put it in your
28:42
pocket. Don't weaponize it just constant, like he's really leaning into he's very
28:51
uh mister Rogers neighborhood meets well, he does stick up for his gal,
28:56
so that's nice too. Yeah, fred Astaire Freda Stair. So he's a
29:03
gentleman, gentleman, gentleman collar all right. Sonia leaves and goes to work
29:11
and Danny takes care of the babies. They're solid the hilarious, cute,
29:17
great, nice, supportive marriage or marriage goals hashtag marriage goals. Jacks is
29:22
in Studio City at his restaurant bar. He's interviewing staff and he's like,
29:26
oh, this girl decided not to wear a bra, so Ali you in
29:30
danger girl quote Ariana, which is not a good look for not a good
29:38
phrase. Jax is hiring staff. Oh no, So now we go over
29:47
to Brittany and Kristen, who are just having the where is this place?
29:51
Because Brittany's like, abo, hey have an ice creep chero. Vey AT's
29:55
uh mixed with the custard pat chero that's also ice cream. It's made it
30:00
to a churro. I'm like, is it ice cream or is it a
30:03
churro? What do we look? Where is the location? Because this sounds
30:07
amazing. Uh. And then she's like, see here's the Like, Christie,
30:11
I like that what you're doing is that the fact is that you're just
30:14
you said this, You're gonna the what be the what? Everyone was talking
30:18
about it and we all know it and we all know she is a racist,
30:22
but you said it. Okay, so you're gonna have to pike the
30:25
capability about it. I oh lord, want go ahead and eat ship there,
30:33
Christie? All right? And Christy's like, all right, well,
30:36
I guess that's the part I did. Was I repeated it? She's exactly,
30:41
So why are we having to teach you this lesson? This was This
30:47
was one hundred percent biff on Kristen's part. There's just no other way to
30:49
slice it. I cannot believe she did. I honestly think it's like literally
30:55
that whole thing which she's been traumatized because of her actions past and having been
31:00
canceled and all that stuff, and she explained it on the show, being
31:03
like this was the worst thing she's ever gone through. Absolutely, like we
31:07
all knew when it was happening. And so for you know that being such
31:11
a huge part of your life, it's probably on the front burner all the
31:15
time. So it is one of those things like where you're almost it's like
31:22
you are almost manifesting the negativity of the association with that and that it just
31:27
comes out. I honestly think it has everything to do with that's just on
31:32
your mind all the time, and somehow it's just like, like I said,
31:37
like I don't don't think pink elephant, don't think pink elephant. Don't
31:40
think I was like, I fucking your pink elephant. Yeah, yeah,
31:42
yeah, And it's like, don't think pink elephant, don't think pink elephant,
31:45
pink elephant. I love pink elephant. Pick element, yeah think.
31:48
You know, I just feel like that has a lot to do that and
31:51
I'm not trying to dumb it down, but clearly she was, you know,
31:56
feeling a certain way, and then you know she's a reality her sona
32:00
for a reason, and that's why these things happened. All right, let's
32:05
talk about Jesse and Michelle and their life, Coach and what we discovered that
32:09
was tough, really hard, awful, hard to watch. We're like brother
32:14
and sister who fight all the time. No no, no, no,
32:20
no, no. This is the last time we had sex three years and
32:23
nine months ago, even we're counting, Yeah, and you should be counting.
32:28
You know. That's really bad. Like, that's the worst I've ever
32:31
heard. That was a that was raw. This is where Jack Cress correct,
32:37
Yeah, that was very real and raw because they're brand new in this
32:42
show and they're just showing the real stuff and that it was awkward, and
32:47
and the life coach was taking Michelle's side. He's like, listen, Jesse,
32:52
what you're saying is you're only doing this to get a good result for
32:54
yourself. You don't mean it, That's right. That was How is that
33:00
supposed to make you feel as a person when someone has an ulterior motive?
33:06
You know? And no wonder she's withholding. Yeah, and I wuldn't even
33:09
say withholding from a standpoint of like, you know, whatever, whatever her
33:14
reasons are, the point of it is is that why would she become vulnerable
33:20
and want to experience, you know, physical intimacy with somebody who has an
33:24
ulterior motive to just do it for that reason? You know? So I
33:29
understood that, but I thought why I wonder why they had a baby knowing
33:35
things were so bad. But I think that the vibe they're trying to project
33:39
is that things weren't bad until they had the baby. Oh okay, you're
33:45
right, because they stopped. Yeah, she's what, she's three now,
33:50
so it has to be three years and nine months. So that's the bit.
33:53
That's I mean, it's not a bit. That was the cutting remark.
33:58
The cutting cut to the quick room. Is everything changed the minute you
34:02
got pregnant. That's the cut. That's the cut. And then I think
34:07
like, once you have a baby with someone, I've seen it time and
34:12
again, it's a tail is all the time. So you become like Danny
34:17
and as Usa or I know, I'm like worth one of them. Do
34:24
you become like them? A team? Right? Or you know, compliments
34:30
to you and Brett a team. You guys are a team in parenthood.
34:32
It's really beautiful to watch. And sometimes other couples, you know, you're
34:39
it's like one partner remains the same, often the dad, sometimes the mom.
34:44
You know, you cannot speak in platitudes, but oftentimes it's the mom
34:50
steps it up because they become the twenty four to seven caregiver and sometimes the
34:53
dad. I'm thinking of a couple that you don't know them, but I
34:58
do and I obviously will not say the names, but but these are friends
35:00
of mine and they had a kid, and the dad just never changed his
35:05
ways. He just was still trying to do everything the same way. Yeah,
35:07
and the mom was like, wait a minute, it's not party time
35:10
over here anymore. We've got right, we have the coonsibilities, we have
35:14
things to do, and he's like, uh, you know, he just
35:15
and then she had to leave and she is happier in calmer now it's just
35:21
her and her kids. So it's like, wow, you know you've seen
35:24
you've seen it happen. Well for him to say like, I don't want
35:30
he didn't want it to look like anyone any child lives there, And I
35:35
was sad all about insane to me, these toys away. I mean,
35:38
but he's in real estate, so I understand like the level of wanting to
35:44
But here's the thing. You know, either he is out to lunch,
35:50
so then move move away from the Chateau MArmand and get a place in the
35:55
valley that has more space so you can have a playroom for all the stuff
36:00
that you don't want to look at. You know, you're not even willing
36:01
to compromise in a way that makes sense. He's it's obviously no surprise as
36:09
to why they're having issues. And it's wild you see them be so organic
36:13
and real. I do think so, and I do want to say,
36:15
not that he's listening, but we know, Jesse, you do love your
36:19
daughter. It's not the point. They always love their kids. It's not
36:22
that. But yeah, put all the toys away. This is this,
36:24
and you know what the hell it's like, come on, we have to
36:29
pivot sometimes when we have a family, we have to pivot and change and
36:34
grow. And it seems like he's not willing to do the work. No,
36:39
he's not willing to show up, as they say, not willing to
36:43
show up right, And then she is just pissed all the time, which
36:46
that's a to go the opposite direction. That's a hard house to live in,
36:51
you know, where you're like morning, good morning. You know,
36:54
every single day you're like, god, I know, really, let me
36:59
get my let me get my card again. Well we'll stopped off on him
37:01
about stop saying sophisticated. I was like, oh, I know that was
37:06
annoying, but also it was very that was a fight that I don't want
37:08
to lose them for, like I don't want them to break up because I
37:13
want to hear more fights about that type of thing, because I'm like,
37:15
yeah, why do you He's like sophisticated? This is such a Capri I
37:20
mean, who knows how many times he said sophisticated that we're off. Yeah,
37:24
so I'm guessing that he probably said that a million times. And she
37:30
was like, stopings, yes, but yeah, what was he doing?
37:34
He's like five boxes of gin eight for the Gronies, seven thousands Prosecco's eight
37:39
bottles. It's like, who are you saying this for? You know?
37:45
But I did want to go to that party. Baby. That was a
37:49
delicious bar. I was like, oh, I very well rounded bar.
37:52
Jesse. Well listen. He gave us the entire inventory and uh, and
37:55
I was excited about it. And in that price, I mean we're talking
38:00
an eighteen million dollar house. That is no joke. I mean I was
38:04
like, you know, we've been watching buying Beverly Hills in some of those
38:07
houses. We haven't been getting up around those numbers. So kudos to him.
38:10
And he goes to Capri to get clients. I go to Saint Bots.
38:17
I don't go to Florida. What the hell are you talking about?
38:24
So, if I'm in Saint Bart's enjoying my life, are you just gonna
38:27
walk up to me? Hi, I'm Jesse, I live in La Care
38:30
to buy a house? I'm doing a vacation binge. I'll talk to me.
38:35
I will say, it is an interesting business plan. And I kind
38:37
of thought, Wow, that's actually not a bad idea in the sense that
38:42
a lot of wealthy people from la are gonna go to Saint Bart's in the
38:49
winter, and a lot of well, and Capri is the hot spot and
38:52
has been for a long time. And you see whenever have you ever noticed
38:55
on your Instagram? And I'm talking about people who are rich and housewives and
39:00
Bravo people and whomever, they're always vacationing in Capri. So, I mean
39:06
he has a very I mean it's a smart business plan. Two batties an
39:09
asshole, but whatever. So now we're at the dinner and now and I
39:15
show up and I've got my I've got my white shirt on. By the
39:19
way, it's not linen, apparently, do you look great though? Thank
39:23
you? And Zach's like Zach and his confessional and everywhere I was kind of
39:30
making me laugh. Because like Kristin took nine different conversations and put them all
39:35
together. It was a shit stew. Kristin was grabbing numbers like she was
39:39
working the power Ball, and I was like, that's the best. Yeah,
39:44
and now I like her. I like him. Yeah, he's fun,
39:46
he's really funny. So Kristen walks in and she's like, I'm sorry,
39:52
I'm really sorry, Michelle. And then she's like, it's not the
39:55
time in the place, it's just not And then Michelle's makeup and hair stunning
40:00
by the way, she looked absolutely gorgeous. Capri Capri here great, did
40:06
it? Yeah? In that moment, I also did feel I think there's
40:08
something here we haven't mentioned yet. Janet and Kristin used to be close.
40:13
They are having a break apart moment, and I genuinely think Kristin again not
40:21
thinking about the collateral damage of her friendship with Michelle, is her and Michelle
40:28
actually got on really well. So that is not great. Yeah, that's
40:32
a really good point because in that moment, it was very genuine In that
40:36
moment, right, like you look so pretty, so sorry, I just
40:42
do you want to talk about it? You know what I mean? Like
40:45
it was just like, really, yeah it was. And also like,
40:49
and then you've got Janet, you're talking about Michelle, right, yeah,
40:52
So then Janet is just like I when in her confessionals she's talking about how
40:59
she saw Kristin up and down with Alex so much that she was like,
41:02
I need to take a step back from quote unquote crazy Kristen and even says
41:07
that to her face at the dinner, and she was like, the second
41:09
I started putting boundaries up, Kristin didn't like that. So then they've got
41:14
something percolating, you know, some issues percolating there, because Janet seems to
41:19
be pulling away from Kristin and Kristen and Joe used to be friends. Joe
41:24
from Banner Pump Rules. Yeah, they had to have a Do you think
41:30
Kristin and Stassy are still friends? I don't know they are, Yeah,
41:35
they are friends. Kristen, she's a she's a tornado. Tornado. She's
41:40
hard to hardes. You cannot saddle that wild horse. She'd be bucking,
41:54
you know, she be bucking. Yeah, she'd be bucket. Uh.
42:00
Quick quick mention. Shout out to Janet, who thinks she'll have time after
42:04
a newborn to make a nursery. I was like, do it now,
42:07
what are you doing? Do it now? Please? You don't understand what's
42:12
about to happen. That's crazy. I didn't even put that together. But
42:15
you're right, do it now. What I guarantee you. Everyone watching the
42:20
show who's a mom was like, do it now, girl, do it
42:22
now. She had like baskets of shoes and a staremaster and she's like,
42:29
we could do it later, we'll put the dresser under the TV. I'm
42:31
like, get you know, to the TV and do it now. You
42:35
know who knows feels the heat. Jason. He was literally like, uh,
42:38
well, I don't mean to uh read on your parade, but Gild's
42:44
coming in. He was so under control. I love Jason. He's here.
42:51
They're gonna be good. Yeah. So, uh, going back to
42:54
the dinner, shots are fire left and right. People are popping off you
42:59
know who and Jesse are getting into it. People. You know, we've
43:01
got banging on the table. We've Jesse calls out Christen and says you were
43:08
thrown off a show for being a fucking racist and and so we're here,
43:15
you know all the name of Capri and uh any way, yes, not
43:21
enough shots of the food that they were serving. By the way housewives,
43:24
they do that so good. I'm like, let me see what we're dining
43:29
on here. Yeah, let's see what we're getting into, because I need
43:32
to know if I need to consider them being like not fed enough, if
43:37
they're angry and they're saying things that they don't they wouldn't normally say. The
43:45
fight was intense, and I love Luke. He's like, listen, we'll
43:49
go. He's not. He's not like he's not like Jack's because at first
43:52
I was like, you know, he stands up, we'll go. Shall
43:54
we take it outside? He's like, we'll go, well, and we'll
43:58
go home. And that's what you have pushed us to stir. It's not
44:05
let's shall we will go? Shall we allow you to walk us to the
44:08
door and show us the door? Shall we shall not? We shall walk
44:14
ourselves. And that's how upset we are, sir. Thank you, and
44:16
good day to you, sir, and I will push in my chair properly
44:22
and put my napkin on it. Good day, lovely party, good day,
44:27
thank you. Here's our pre written thank you note, but we don't
44:30
want you to open it until tomorrow because you don't deserve to read our kind
44:35
words. Kristen. Let's go suck a deck, Kristin, Kristen, racist
44:44
christ second by second day, Kristen. We've done that before. We've heard
44:49
that sound right a thousand times. Put your dicks in your pocket, out
44:53
of your mouth, Kristen. Let you want today suck dick, just instead
45:01
put it in your pocket. Yeah, he's so zen. He just carries
45:08
that little z gong around with them all big. That was the wrong one.
45:14
I went to Glockenspiel. Yeah, you know again, Jesse. You
45:17
know he wanted it. He was trying to take up for Michelle in the
45:21
most aggressive, screamy, yelly way. But he's like, let our speak,
45:25
fucking no fucking speaker, put my hand in your face, you can
45:31
talk, boots. Yeah. I was like he saved himself by saying,
45:37
you know, Michelle will speak, because the way that I thought he was
45:42
gonna take over at least he was like, Michelle wants to speak to this,
45:45
you know. I mean, I'm just trying to see, you know,
45:49
the good in people and not. Yeah. He you know, here's
45:54
the thing, Amy, he he's not he he the his biggest problem is
46:00
he is who he is, and he's unmovable and unchangeable. That's what I
46:05
think, you know, he bingo yep oh, and that's the problem,
46:09
and that's what will make him a reality superstar and the new like he'll surpass
46:15
Jacks, you know in terms of like villain being a villain and once he
46:20
starts dating. I mean, this show's got some legs, especially if your
46:22
theory about things popping over from if vander Pump pops over to the valley,
46:30
this show's got it's got some longevity. Scripted, scripted. I just kept
46:37
thinking, it's not scripted, it's manufactured. I don't think it's scripted,
46:42
but I think manufactured. I think producers going la la, you've got to
46:45
go out for tea with Ariana, because I don't think they would normally do
46:50
it together. You know, you can't tell me that that scene on the
46:53
beach from vander Pump Rules the other day with like Arianna and Tom Sandoval was
47:00
were words that were written down for them to actually say, you know,
47:02
exactly so, but them all being at the beach together could have come from
47:07
producers exact well, yes, and of course so I agree with you,
47:12
you know, for him to say that that is the that's where we are
47:17
in reality television period dot on every show, and we're not talking about just
47:22
vander Pomp rules. I mean every single reality show has changed since season six
47:28
of It's coming up, meaning the early shows, you know, so which
47:34
let's you know, let's take it back to the og, which I think
47:36
it all starts, frankly with the Real World. Oh wow, IV,
47:40
Yes, of course it does. Yes, yeah, And again, those
47:45
first few seasons of the Real World were very real because they don't in the
47:47
beginning, these people didn't realize how big these shows would be, so they
47:52
really were being themselves. Once you start realizing, oh I could be a
47:55
brand, you know, don't I don't know how you could do a reality
48:00
show and not ever forget that there are cameras watching you. But I think
48:05
in the beginning you're just like, what is this just some lame documentary or
48:07
this isn't going to be a hit or whatever, And you do start because
48:10
like I was watching the vander Pump After show and Tom Schwartz was saying,
48:15
you know, how much he's just used to the cameras and he does whatever
48:19
he wants, but that Joe is brand new and she's maybe really reacting a
48:22
little too much to it. And I think what's nice about this Valley cast
48:27
is I don't think they realize exactly what's what they're in yet and I like
48:31
that. I like that they and I don't know how they don't know because
48:36
Jasmine worked at Sir Zach has known Britney since Kentucky. Watched the whole thing
48:40
happen on the Vanderpunt Rules and you know, so it is wild, but
48:45
these couples, you know, it's it's it's interesting. I also loved getting
48:49
to we got to meet Jasmine's girlfriend, Melissa, very nice. Yeah,
48:52
and their outfits were adorable, So thank you. So there were some great
48:59
moments in this episode two, a lot of darkness and by god, you
49:02
know, we'll see where we land. Do you have anything else to say,
49:07
Jamels about the Valley this week's episode. I think we've laid it out
49:14
all on the table. We hit it all. I do like that Luke
49:19
brought hit not Luke. What's the boyfriend? What's fan go to? Yeah,
49:21
Luke. Luke brought his dog from Colorado, so he is staying for
49:25
the summer. He is staying for them. It's like its own little summer
49:30
house, summer apartment, inside of vander Pump Rules, inside of the Valley.
49:36
So yeah, well, I enjoyed this episode. I thought it was
49:39
very comfortable. Of course, at times I felt just, you know,
49:45
wow, I can't believe this is only the third episode and they're already popping
49:51
off like this. And again they're giving us a lot of preview of what's
49:54
to come. Jack's hiring people that I'm sure things are going to go interesting
50:00
with him, and you know, his business and the marriage, the baby,
50:06
a lot of a lot of a lot of things to come, a
50:08
lot to come. Speaking of tomorrow, over on my Patreon, we will
50:15
be doing Summer House, and then I will be releasing over the weekend a
50:20
recap of The Trader's UK Season two. Have you watched the season two Jamie?
50:25
I could. Well. I am trying so hard because guess how many
50:30
episodes are out? How many? Twelve? Oh, baby, which which
50:36
is why I need until Saturday to finish it. Yeah, you'll get there,
50:39
you'll get there. I've stumbled myself into a Sopranos rewatch. I don't
50:44
exactly, I don't know why that happened. Yeah, but I but I
50:51
love it. I'm still watching these shows and I just bravo you little minx.
50:57
You know how to get us? Yeah you do. So that'll be
51:01
uh this weekend. And then also obviously plenty of other stuff over on the
51:05
Patreon, so subscribe over there at patreon dot com. Slash drama Darling Jamie.
51:09
Where can everyone find you should they want to just enjoy you? You're
51:15
on TikTok oh min'd both TikTok and Instagram at JM Detroit and occasionally I even
51:22
post fun little videos very rarely, so if you see one, it's like
51:27
catching a golden ticket in your eyes. In your eyes, and Jamie will
51:32
be back recapping many other things, and thank you so much for listening.
51:37
You guys, Love you, James, Love you, Amos ye Hie Drama
51:43
Darling Drama, Darling Drama, Darling