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Simon Sinek on the Secret to Being Truly Rich in Life · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Nobody keeps a notebook in their back pocket that keeps
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: track of all the things that I've done for you
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and all the things you've done for me. Right, well,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I did seven things for you this month, You've only
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: done one for me. Like it's time to like pay back. Right,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: That's not what friendship is. Friendship isn't is not equal
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: that way. I may do one hundred things for you
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  Speaker 1: and you've done nothing for me. But the reason I
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: call you friend, and the reason I love you and
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  Speaker 1: care about you, is because I know, deep inside I
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  Speaker 1: have this undying trust, this undying belief that the one
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: time I need you, without a shadow of a doubt,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: I know you'll be there for me. And so the
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  Speaker 1: whole thing feels completely equitable. And that's karma, which is
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: it's not a score that I'm keeping, it's that I
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: continue to give because I know, the one time where
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: it really matters in life life.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: That others will be there for me.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: But our very survival depends literally, it is dependent upon
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  Speaker 1: our ability to serve each other, our individual selves. We
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  Speaker 1: are finite, you know, we're born, we die as beginning, middle,
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  Speaker 1: and end, and that's it. And where we are infinite
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  Speaker 1: is is how we touch the lives of others. It's
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  Speaker 1: our progeny, it's our friends, it's our colleagues, it's our
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  Speaker 1: co workers, it's our buses, it's.
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  Speaker 2: Our it's those who work with us and for us.
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  Speaker 1: You know, the impact that we can have in their lives,
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  Speaker 1: the values that we pass on, how we raise them
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  Speaker 1: up and celebrate them, that's what lives on beyond us.
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  Speaker 1: And the impact that we have. The infinite life that
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  Speaker 1: we live, we can only live through others. And it's
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  Speaker 1: not the metals that we won, and it's not the
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: it's not the scores that we achieved, but rather it's
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: it's how we how we inspired following generations to continue
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  Speaker 1: to carry the torch that we may have lit or
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: just carried ourself that was given to us. That's what
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: it means to live an infinite life that it lives
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  Speaker 1: on through others. And again it goes back to paradox.
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  Speaker 1: It's this beautiful The hard ship of life is this
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  Speaker 1: balancing act of sort of advancing myself, my ego, my ambition,
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  Speaker 1: which is okay, but it has to be in service
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  Speaker 1: to something greater than myself, because that's where I truly
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  Speaker 1: live an infinite life. We're in this thing called life
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  Speaker 1: with others, whether we like it or not.
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  Speaker 2: And this is my definition of faith.
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  Speaker 1: Faith is the understanding that we are on a team
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  Speaker 1: even when we don't know who all the other players are,
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  Speaker 1: and you just have to trust that other people will
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  Speaker 1: be there for you even if you don't know who
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  Speaker 1: they are, and some of them you do. And likewise
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  Speaker 1: for others, that you are on someone else's team. Everyone
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  Speaker 1: you interact with on a daily basis, and some you don't,
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  Speaker 1: You are on their team even if they don't know
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  Speaker 1: you are. And so give people faith in the human race,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: give people faith that that people are.
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  Speaker 2: Kind and good, you know, be that team member. We've
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  Speaker 2: put massive pressure.
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  Speaker 1: On a young generation that they have to have everything
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  Speaker 1: figured out by themselves, do it all themselves, work hard,
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  Speaker 1: have a vision, you know, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Know your purpose,
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  Speaker 1: which is, by the way, no human being is strong
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  Speaker 1: enough to do that alone. And we've forgotten the value
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  Speaker 1: of service, you know, service to our fellow human beings,
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  Speaker 1: fellow service to our community, you know, the the just
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  Speaker 1: sort of a decline in the sense of taking care
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: of each other. And the great irony is as social animals.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: We only thrive as individuals when we when we also
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: take care of each other. To what end is the
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  Speaker 1: question I would ask, To what end? You know you
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  Speaker 1: want to make money? To what end you want to
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  Speaker 1: get a promotion? To what end so you can retire?
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  Speaker 1: You know you're not They're not going to write the
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  Speaker 1: last balance in your bank account on your tombstone. You know,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: nobody wants the title on their last business card on
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  Speaker 1: their tombstone. We want to be remembered for the kind
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  Speaker 1: of people we were, you know, devoted husband, loving mother.
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  Speaker 1: This is this is the kind of people we were,
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  Speaker 1: and yet we forget about that. Doctor Cars's but James
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  Speaker 1: cars Who in the mid nineteen eighties articulated these two
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  Speaker 1: types of games, finite games and infinite games. A finite
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  Speaker 1: game is defined as known players, fixed rules, and.
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  Speaker 2: An agreed upon objective football baseball.
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  Speaker 1: There's always beginning, middle, and an end, and if there
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  Speaker 1: is a winner, necessarily there has to be a loser.
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  Speaker 2: And then you have infinite games. Infinite games are defined
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  Speaker 2: as known and unknown players, which means new players can join.
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  Speaker 1: At any time. The rules are changeable, which means everyone
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  Speaker 1: can play however they want. And the objective is to
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  Speaker 1: perpetuate the game, to stay in the game as long
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  Speaker 1: as possible. Turns out, we're players and infinite games every
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  Speaker 1: day of our lives. There's no such thing as winning
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  Speaker 1: global politics. There's no such thing as winning as you can.
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  Speaker 1: You can come in first for the finite amount of
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  Speaker 1: time you're at school because there's an agreed upon metric
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  Speaker 1: system and there's agreed upon standards as to what first
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  Speaker 1: looks like. But nobody wins education, nobody gets declared the
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  Speaker 1: winner of careers. And there's definitely no such thing as
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  Speaker 1: winning business or winning politics. You can win an election,
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  Speaker 1: but you can't win politics. But if we listen to
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  Speaker 1: the language of so many of our leaders, it becomes
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  Speaker 1: abundantly clear that they.
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  Speaker 2: Don't know the game they're playing it.
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  Speaker 1: They talk about being number one, being the best, or
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  Speaker 1: beating their competition based on what based upon what agreed
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  Speaker 1: upon objectives, metrics or timeframes. And this is a serious
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  Speaker 1: problem because when we play with a finite mindset and
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  Speaker 1: an infinite game, when we play to win in a
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  Speaker 1: game that has no finish line, there's some consistent and
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  Speaker 1: predictable outcomes. The big ones include the decline of trust,
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  Speaker 1: the decline of cooperation, and the decline of innovation. And
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  Speaker 1: when you talk about modern day politics, what do we
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  Speaker 1: see nothing short of decline of trust and decline of cooperation.
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  Speaker 1: They're not working together for the greater good. They're working
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  Speaker 1: together to see themselves re elected, whether as an individual
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  Speaker 1: or as a party, to stay in power, and sometimes
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  Speaker 1: that means doing things that will actually hurt us, the
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  Speaker 1: general population, the voter, to protect themselves or protect their images.
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  Speaker 2: There is no sacrifice for the greater good? Are you kidding?
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  Speaker 1: And the big joke is there's no such thing as
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  Speaker 1: winning or losing in those games. Anyway, when you embrace
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  Speaker 1: the infinite mindset, it actually does lead to finite success.
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  Speaker 2: Then why don't people.
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  Speaker 1: Do it to live a life with an infinite mindset?
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  Speaker 1: The problem is those accomplishments are not predictable in time,
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  Speaker 1: and we live in a world where we really not
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  Speaker 1: only want things, but need things. Our whole incentive structures,
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  Speaker 1: in our companies, the election cycles, everything is set up
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  Speaker 1: that you have to show success by this date, by
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  Speaker 1: this time, and the infinite game just doesn't work that way,
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  Speaker 1: which is it's like riding a bicycle.
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  Speaker 2: Like every single.
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  Speaker 1: Kid can learn how to ride a bicycle. It doesn't
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  Speaker 1: matter anything. You can learn how to ride a bike.
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  Speaker 1: There's a process. You have to start with training wheels.
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  Speaker 1: You take one wheel off, you take two wheels off.
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  Speaker 1: One of your parents is holding the back of the seat.
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  Speaker 2: At some point, though let go. You'll look down, you'll
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  Speaker 2: freak out, you'll fall over, you know.
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  Speaker 1: And if you just go through this process, one hundred
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  Speaker 1: percent of kids will learn how to ride a bicycle.
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  Speaker 1: The problem is, I don't know how long it takes.
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  Speaker 1: Some kids will learn quickly, some kids will learn slowly.
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  Speaker 1: You know.
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  Speaker 2: Every kid learns how to walk, every kid learns how
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  Speaker 2: to talk. Parents compare how long did yours take to walk?
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  Speaker 2: Mine's a little slow, right, It's okay.
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  Speaker 1: There is a process and one hundred percent of the
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  Speaker 1: time it works. And the fear we have is to
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  Speaker 1: trust the process, and so we hijack the process for
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  Speaker 1: the short term game while doing long term damage to
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  Speaker 1: ourselves or organizations, rather than simply trusting the process working
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  Speaker 1: out all of these things. If you trust the process,
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  Speaker 1: one hundred percent of people will get into shape. If
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  Speaker 1: you simply work out for twenty minutes a day, one
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  Speaker 1: hundred percent. But I just don't know when that intense
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  Speaker 1: surge of dopamine that you get when we win is
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  Speaker 1: highly addictive and so and because the feeling does go away,
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  Speaker 1: You're right, nobody is celebrating hitting that goal from a year.
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  Speaker 2: Ago, like the feeling is gone, right. But the problem
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  Speaker 2: is is that because it feels so.
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  Speaker 1: Good, we think that the only way to feel good
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  Speaker 1: is to get another hit, get another hit, get another hit,
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  Speaker 1: get another hit, which is how addiction works.
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  Speaker 2: And so what purpose does.
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  Speaker 1: Is it contextualizes those things? What purpose does? The purpose
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  Speaker 1: is the infinite part where I can celebrate. There's nothing
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  Speaker 1: wrong with the celebration, but I understand there's still a
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  Speaker 1: lot of work to be done. You know that this
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  Speaker 1: this will go forever. And the funny thing is we're
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  Speaker 1: so obsessed with the finite. I mean, take take Exercise
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  Speaker 1: is a great example of the analogies we should be using.
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  Speaker 1: So you want to be healthy, great, there's a whole
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  Speaker 1: list of things you have to do. You've got to exercise,
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  Speaker 1: you've got to eat right, you've got to get sleep,
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  Speaker 1: you've got to nurse your personal relationships. The list goes
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  Speaker 1: on and on and on. You can't do them more
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  Speaker 1: perfectly all the time. Some of that causes a stress,
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  Speaker 1: but you got to kind of like try and do
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  Speaker 1: as best you can, so pick one of them. Exercise, right,
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  Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with having a finite game within that.
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  Speaker 1: And so we get to exercising and doing the work,
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  Speaker 1: and we weigh ourselves every day, and if we have
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  Speaker 1: a good day, we feel or great, and if we
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  Speaker 1: have a bad day, we feel old down. And if
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  Speaker 1: you hit your goal on the right date, on the
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  Speaker 1: right time, you feel amazing, this feeling of incredible success.
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  Speaker 1: Except you have to keep exercising for the rest of
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  Speaker 1: your life. Like it's not over right, it's just one
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  Speaker 1: of the steps, it's one of the milestones. But you
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  Speaker 1: have to keep at it.
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  Speaker 2: And what happens if you miss your goal? Nothing, nothing happens. Right.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, you're way healthier now than you were when
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  Speaker 1: you started, and you're probably hit your goal in two
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  Speaker 1: or three more months if you just keep at it.
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  Speaker 1: And the problem is we prioritize those that hit the
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  Speaker 1: number on the date, and we ignore those that are
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  Speaker 1: building good teams with good relationships and good product and
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  Speaker 1: good service. And we don't reward those people even though
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  Speaker 1: we can see they'll hit their numbers in thirteen months
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  Speaker 1: instead of twelve. And all of the choices we make,
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  Speaker 1: the finite choices we make, have to be in service
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  Speaker 1: to health. Right. We can't just win for now. And
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: if I create problems, I'm going to be retired. It's
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  Speaker 1: not my problem, it's yours.
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  Speaker 2: We can't do that.