Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / THE DISCLAIMER: Irresponsible at the Airport
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: For all you men bastards loving the Big Show podcast,
- 0:05Speaker 1: Get up even Closer on Instagram, YouTube and picture off
- 0:09Speaker 1: for for tugging for to seven every weekday on radio.
- 0:15Speaker 2: Get a.
- 0:17Speaker 3: Hello? Did you even say backbone?
- 0:21Speaker 2: Then? Maggie developed a little bit further? Right?
- 0:24Speaker 3: Okay?
- 0:24Speaker 2: Nice? Nothing man?
- 0:27Speaker 3: How how's everyone going?
- 0:28Speaker 4: I've been good. Thank you, thanks for asking. What did
- 0:30Speaker 4: you guys get up to on Friday?
- 0:32Speaker 3: We did the show?
- 0:33Speaker 5: We did because just a reference, I left after the
- 0:36Speaker 5: live show on Thursday night.
- 0:37Speaker 3: Yes, and you abandoned ship.
- 0:39Speaker 4: I abandoned ship. We'll do it again. Had a great weekend.
- 0:42Speaker 4: But I hear that you guys had a fun day.
- 0:44Speaker 2: It was a fun day.
- 0:45Speaker 3: Well, look, you know Beavanner's always.
- 0:47Speaker 4: Which annoys me. Though I took a day off, but
- 0:49Speaker 4: there's a fun day.
- 0:50Speaker 1: That up, I would really annoy you. Actually, yeah, well
- 0:53Speaker 1: what's quite an interesting one because I had a few.
- 0:55Speaker 1: I never drink at the their live shows, but I
- 0:58Speaker 1: decided to on that occasion.
- 1:00Speaker 2: It was bloody great. We had a beer.
- 1:02Speaker 1: Got to be about mid nine, as it turns out,
- 1:03Speaker 1: myself and Pugs and Delli's son you were gone, Keysy Jase,
- 1:06Speaker 1: you were in bed.
- 1:07Speaker 4: From starting in the Arvo, you know, starting in the Arvo.
- 1:09Speaker 2: Yep.
- 1:10Speaker 1: So I wasn't look, I wasn't horrendous the next day,
- 1:13Speaker 1: but I certainly wasn't.
- 1:14Speaker 2: A million dollars.
- 1:16Speaker 1: Yeah, And so I didn't drink at Beavana at all.
- 1:19Speaker 2: And then I had a few meetings.
- 1:21Speaker 1: Jase had to go and catch up with a mate,
- 1:23Speaker 1: and then I had a couple of minute and then
- 1:26Speaker 1: still got to the airport four and a half hours
- 1:29Speaker 1: before our flight, and they're in.
- 1:32Speaker 2: There in the airport. So what the troubler is.
- 1:37Speaker 1: So what happens here is we know, But for the listeners,
- 1:39Speaker 1: what happens as we get booked at the crack of
- 1:41Speaker 1: dawn to fly down to where it will fly wherever
- 1:43Speaker 1: so that we can do a shout do a show
- 1:45Speaker 1: eight hours later, Yes, and then we finish sort of
- 1:49Speaker 1: six to and we did, and then you got six
- 1:52Speaker 1: hours to kill before you go home. So I went
- 1:56Speaker 1: to the airport and when I was at the airport,
- 1:58Speaker 1: I tried to change my flights, thought I'll try and
- 2:01Speaker 1: get out of this bastard a bit early. And when
- 2:04Speaker 1: I was doing that, I ran into a guy that
- 2:05Speaker 1: I used to work with in film. I hadn't seen
- 2:07Speaker 1: him for about fifteen years.
- 2:08Speaker 4: Peter Jackson.
- 2:09Speaker 1: Peter Jackson's naghs And what's his name, Phil Smith? And
- 2:13Speaker 1: he's a he's a camera dude and he's been working
- 2:17Speaker 1: overseas for in London and stuff.
- 2:19Speaker 2: Yes, and it worked on Dune. Oh cool, he does.
- 2:23Speaker 2: He's really really good at what it does.
- 2:24Speaker 4: Dune too.
- 2:25Speaker 2: I don't think he did Dune too, but he certainly
- 2:27Speaker 2: did Dune.
- 2:29Speaker 1: And then so I went to when you get there, Now,
- 2:31Speaker 1: I didn't have any he I thought he would have
- 2:34Speaker 1: access to the.
- 2:34Speaker 2: Lounge, right, but he didn't.
- 2:37Speaker 1: And so we went to this little corner bar there
- 2:40Speaker 1: before you go through before you go through it Wellington Airport,
- 2:44Speaker 1: before you get through the other's at one of the court.
- 2:45Speaker 2: It's good little bar.
- 2:46Speaker 4: It's a great bar.
- 2:46Speaker 2: Now.
- 2:47Speaker 1: What's great about it is they had margaritas on tap.
- 2:50Speaker 1: I think he had one ginger beer, and I probably
- 2:54Speaker 1: in the two hours that he sat with me, I
- 2:55Speaker 1: probably had four margaritas.
- 2:58Speaker 2: I was feeling good and then he left and he
- 3:03Speaker 2: was like shit.
- 3:03Speaker 4: I ran into Mike Minoga.
- 3:06Speaker 1: He probably he probably when he left, I was probably
- 3:09Speaker 1: I was just now I was just as good as
- 3:12Speaker 1: goal feeling good, feeling good now. When he left in
- 3:15Speaker 1: another mate that I used to work in film he
- 3:16Speaker 1: joined me. He just walked past and he was flying
- 3:19Speaker 1: back to Gisbon. So he joined me. He drank two
- 3:21Speaker 1: beers in the time it took me to have a
- 3:23Speaker 1: sip of the beer that I was now drinking. Wow,
- 3:25Speaker 1: he double smashed them. And he was with me for
- 3:29Speaker 1: maybe half an hour or so. And then I'm just
- 3:32Speaker 1: sitting there. I think I mate give myself another margarita.
- 3:35Speaker 2: And I'm sitting there.
- 3:36Speaker 1: And while I'm sitting there, I turned to the side
- 3:37Speaker 1: and who should be coming my way but old Hoidy
- 3:39Speaker 1: j O. Yes, that's me, And so Hoidy j joined
- 3:46Speaker 1: me and we were having a good old chin were Yeah. Man,
- 3:50Speaker 1: I fucking jealous for a good hour or even more
- 3:55Speaker 1: good old chin wag. And I said to Houghdy j
- 3:58Speaker 1: feel early on maybe fifteen, would you be keen on
- 4:01Speaker 1: a margarita? And Old already Jay said, well, I'll be
- 4:04Speaker 1: honest with you Themogi, I'm pretty steamed as it is.
- 4:09Speaker 1: I said, I know, mate, Yes, I know, yeah, because
- 4:13Speaker 1: we're having a lovely old chat. The Whole Archy Big
- 4:17Speaker 1: Show week days from four on Radio Hodarky.
- 4:21Speaker 6: Now that's good listening and it's live.
- 4:25Speaker 3: What are you listening to you?
- 4:27Speaker 1: Oh?
- 4:28Speaker 6: Oh sorry, I was listening to the Radio Hodarky Big
- 4:32Speaker 6: Show all to seven week days. It's quite specific and
- 4:38Speaker 6: iHeart radio.
- 4:41Speaker 3: Choose the Warky Big Show podcast.
- 4:46Speaker 1: And so we got into the Margarita's, had a couple
- 4:48Speaker 1: of margaritas there, and then it was time to jump
- 4:51Speaker 1: on the plane.
- 4:52Speaker 7: Yeah, because I was getting a bit I was getting
- 4:54Speaker 7: a bit angsty about that because we were cutting it
- 4:56Speaker 7: very fine keys and I kept saying to Mogi, which
- 4:59Speaker 7: probably going probably you.
- 5:01Speaker 3: Should probably get through security, and.
- 5:03Speaker 4: The amount of time it takes you to get through security.
- 5:05Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, Well take my fucking boots off.
- 5:09Speaker 1: We were absolutely, by this point pretty publicly drunk, like
- 5:14Speaker 1: out of ten well, I think thought there's fall down drunk,
- 5:18Speaker 1: but we were just cracking up. It's probably the most enjoyable.
- 5:23Speaker 1: It's certainly the most enjoyable drunkeness I've had for probably years.
- 5:26Speaker 4: Wow.
- 5:27Speaker 1: Yeah, I've just right in the pocket. I've just right
- 5:30Speaker 1: the exact right amount of booze.
- 5:33Speaker 5: To Goldilocks zone. Very things are very very funny, great yarns.
- 5:39Speaker 5: The situation's funny. We're at the airport with Pisted.
- 5:41Speaker 2: Yeah. It was just absolutely care free from my point,
- 5:44Speaker 2: but it was.
- 5:45Speaker 3: Yeah, it was that bloody, gnarly six hours, you know.
- 5:48Speaker 7: And I went for a little tickie tour around Wally
- 5:50Speaker 7: and visited a few of my old horns. Yeah, not good.
- 5:56Speaker 7: I had had a couple of burgers, yeah, two two beggars,
- 6:01Speaker 7: which was pretty good.
- 6:02Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 6:04Speaker 7: And then and then on the plane it sort of
- 6:07Speaker 7: continued on and it was like keep them coming, buddy,
- 6:10Speaker 7: and I think the.
- 6:13Speaker 1: Guy was like, oh no, we'll probably knock it on
- 6:18Speaker 1: the head. Absolutely could not believe our luck. So I
- 6:20Speaker 1: get on there. So they've got cans with margarita, thank you.
- 6:24Speaker 1: They were on the pennies. Look, we would have been
- 6:27Speaker 1: no joy to be around, no at all. But Jason
- 6:31Speaker 1: and I were having an absolute ball. Old Dilly was
- 6:34Speaker 1: sitting next to us in some state of disbelief. I
- 6:37Speaker 1: don't know if he was getting any video footage or not.
- 6:39Speaker 5: He better not have, because I've just I had the
- 6:43Speaker 5: group check going and all I got a message. It
- 6:45Speaker 5: just said racist Dilly.
- 6:47Speaker 3: The race And that was the only No, what was
- 6:50Speaker 3: he being racist about?
- 6:51Speaker 2: Nothing at all?
- 6:52Speaker 1: So when we got up, so when we got off
- 6:54Speaker 1: the plane we had to get we got off the back.
- 6:56Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure this is right.
- 7:00Speaker 1: And then we were coming up the stairs and it
- 7:03Speaker 1: was me going up first, so you know those opposing flights,
- 7:07Speaker 1: you got the first one little platform and turn around
- 7:10Speaker 1: and you go out the other way, you know, And
- 7:12Speaker 1: so you're right behind me, James, and then looking down
- 7:14Speaker 1: and then there's two old women. And then behind the
- 7:17Speaker 1: two old women was Dilly. And I have to get
- 7:21Speaker 1: the exact quote from him. He'd know better than me,
- 7:23Speaker 1: but I said to him something along the lines of jeez, Dilly,
- 7:29Speaker 1: you're a shocking racist or something something something along those lines,
- 7:34Speaker 1: which then made these old women really worried.
- 7:39Speaker 2: And their heads were jerking around. And then so and
- 7:42Speaker 2: then Dilly's like, what I've just been called a racist
- 7:47Speaker 2: in public? And then me and jas were.
- 7:49Speaker 1: Just dying, dying, laughing, absolutely crying with laughter.
- 7:57Speaker 2: I couldn't talk, couldn't walk.
- 7:59Speaker 1: And then was getting all the way out around out
- 8:03Speaker 1: through the baggage handling area. It was just absolutely and
- 8:06Speaker 1: then Jason to the toilet. He came out still crying, laughing.
- 8:09Speaker 1: It was like I can't even remember what we were like, yes, ah,
- 8:17Speaker 1: it was magnificent. And then home went bound, and then
- 8:19Speaker 1: I went bound, and then so I got an uber
- 8:21Speaker 1: and then I got home. Well I got I got
- 8:24Speaker 1: the guy to drop me off her. So I did
- 8:25Speaker 1: quite well. Not to buy any cigarettes happened to that point, Yes,
- 8:29Speaker 1: that were off. And so I went to the local
- 8:32Speaker 1: to drop me off up the corner from my place,
- 8:35Speaker 1: and then I went into the thing.
- 8:36Speaker 2: Couldn't find my wallet.
- 8:38Speaker 4: Ah fuck sake at the bar.
- 8:40Speaker 1: So I said to the guy, I just grab a
- 8:42Speaker 1: packet of darts and I'll just I'll drop you off
- 8:45Speaker 1: the money tomorrow.
- 8:45Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, well good.
- 8:47Speaker 7: So then I was probably still laughing hysterically at this point.
- 8:51Speaker 1: Well, I still had my suitcase, you know what I mean,
- 8:54Speaker 1: and I'm pursed out. It's like, let's get this guy
- 8:56Speaker 1: out of here. So then I grabbed a scooter, a
- 8:59Speaker 1: flamingos use New Zealand made, and when your suitcase, put
- 9:04Speaker 1: the suitcase on it, and then rode that home down
- 9:08Speaker 1: that hill. Yes, pretty quick, fucking steep, pretty quick. Well,
- 9:11Speaker 1: absolute yard sale. I fucking came off, my suitcase goes flying.
- 9:18Speaker 1: My god, the Flamingo scooter is just fucking crashing, rolling
- 9:25Speaker 1: on concrete. I'm just you know, when you're running so
- 9:28Speaker 1: fast that your legs going out, so.
- 9:31Speaker 4: You jumped off it and stay off.
- 9:33Speaker 1: And I managed to run alongside it and not eat ship,
- 9:36Speaker 1: my god, which was an absolute miracle. And then I
- 9:40Speaker 1: went home and my wife was there with the mate
- 9:42Speaker 1: of hers and I just annoyed them excuse me, and
- 9:46Speaker 1: then called in New Zealand. The next hand, I left
- 9:49Speaker 1: my wallet on the planet.
- 9:55Speaker 4: A scooter is such a bad I.
- 9:57Speaker 1: Was cracking up because I was like, is such a
- 10:01Speaker 1: terrible idea. This is exactly what JAS talks about why
- 10:05Speaker 1: you shouldn't get on one of these things.
- 10:07Speaker 2: That is far. I can't remember exactly what happened.
- 10:09Speaker 7: Yeah, with a suitcase, desperate for thinking you're sweet ass?
- 10:14Speaker 3: What I will say? No darts for hoodie j.
- 10:16Speaker 2: Yeah, well no darts. Pretty happy I went all day
- 10:20Speaker 2: without him.
- 10:20Speaker 3: I'm pretty proud of that.
- 10:23Speaker 2: I would have been easy.
- 10:24Speaker 7: Not that I wasn't proud of my set, were you?
- 10:28Speaker 7: Just yeah? And it was and it was the day.
- 10:32Speaker 7: Of course my wife has you know, organized all.
- 10:36Speaker 8: And it's just like no, no, no, no, you're going
- 10:39Speaker 8: to do that, darling, and you're well done. I'll see
- 10:42Speaker 8: you later, but I will say that that's why you
- 10:46Speaker 8: drink for that ship, That's why you drink. You'll be
- 10:49Speaker 8: chasing that now.
- 10:49Speaker 2: I had a boy.
- 10:50Speaker 1: No, No, I'm just really happy that it happened.
- 10:52Speaker 2: Yes, I wish you could have been there, keasy.
- 10:54Speaker 4: I wish I was there.
- 10:58Speaker 8: Yeah, that's me done though, Yeah, you know, absolutely, but
- 11:02Speaker 8: it just reminded me on.
- 11:03Speaker 7: The set b I was like, fuck the ships.
- 11:06Speaker 4: It's good that your wife had all that stuff planned.
- 11:08Speaker 2: Yeah, the house. And my wife was great as well.
- 11:11Speaker 2: She just let me do absolutely nothing. Yes, actually I wasn't.
- 11:16Speaker 2: I wasn't horrendous all things considered, but yeah, I I
- 11:20Speaker 2: I was. I'm very happy with that. It's a good memory.
- 11:23Speaker 3: We were laughing, like you wouldn't believe.
- 11:26Speaker 1: Poor Dilly's just like, oh my god, Dolly the Racist
- 11:29Speaker 1: is not a great nickname, but I think it's going
- 11:31Speaker 1: to catch on.
- 11:32Speaker 4: Did he have any beers?
- 11:34Speaker 1: I think he had a beer. I don't think he
- 11:36Speaker 1: said a word in the entire flight.
- 11:38Speaker 5: It would have been way too like, oh my god,
- 11:40Speaker 5: Jason mor fucking Ham would have been so loud.
- 11:43Speaker 7: Yeah, and just yeah, I was just waiting for the report,
- 11:46Speaker 7: you know, to come out.
- 11:47Speaker 3: In the news.
- 11:48Speaker 2: That's right, But can I say.
- 11:50Speaker 3: The paranoia had extreme levels.
- 11:53Speaker 1: Extremely good natured, the best kind of drunks, you know,
- 11:56Speaker 1: not but very happy and you're not ourseholes any stretch
- 12:00Speaker 1: at all.
- 12:01Speaker 7: According to them, according to our drunken heads.
- 12:06Speaker 5: Hey listen to the Big Show four or seven weekdays
- 12:08Speaker 5: Radio Hodaki.
- 12:09Speaker 4: Good listening,