Latest / Reality with The King / The Bachelorette: How Rachel Lindsay Rose to the Occasion

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The Bachelorette: How Rachel Lindsay Rose to the Occasion · Reality with The King

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  Speaker 1: I was that person who was like, no, I have
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: to be with somebody who's black, because nobody can understand
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: me like a black man can understand me. And I
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: still believe that that's true in a lot of ways.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: So that's what I had to have.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: And I did that my entire all the way up
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  Speaker 1: until I was in my thirties, and then right at
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: the beginning of my thirties, and then I was just
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  Speaker 1: like when I came out of this five year relationship
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  Speaker 1: where I just thought, this is it, this is over.
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  Speaker 1: I'm spending the rest of my life with this person.
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  Speaker 2: And then it didn't happen.
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  Speaker 1: I thought, I am cutting myself out to so many people.
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  Speaker 2: Someone who I might connect.
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  Speaker 1: With spiritually, I might vibe with, might give me every
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  Speaker 1: single thing I want, but they might not look the
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  Speaker 1: way that I think they're supposed to.
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  Speaker 2: To be with me.
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  Speaker 3: Stay tuned, we'll get into my conversation with Rachel Lindsey
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  Speaker 3: right after these quick ads.
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: Welcome to Reality with the King.
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  Speaker 3: It's me Carlos King, the King of Reality TV and
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  Speaker 3: one of the most sought after executive producers in reality television.
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  Speaker 4: With over ten years of production experience.
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  Speaker 3: I've executive produced top rated programs such as eight seasons
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  Speaker 3: of the Real Housepots of Atlanta. Additionally, I have created
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  Speaker 3: shows such as Netflix Is Stylling, Hollywood Owns number one
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  Speaker 3: rated Love and Marriage Franchise, and TV one's Hollywood.
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  Speaker 4: Divas, just to name a few.
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  Speaker 3: Twice a week on Reality with the King, we'll sit
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  Speaker 3: down with my friends across the entertainment industry, recap our
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  Speaker 3: favorite reality shows and revisit unforgettable moments that we are
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  Speaker 3: still talking and tweeting about. Hey, rain drops. So today's
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  Speaker 3: guest on Reality with the King is the first black bachelorette,
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  Speaker 3: the beautifully talented Rachel Lindsay. So let me tell you
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  Speaker 3: all the story. Yes, I love Housewives, I love Loving Marriage,
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  Speaker 3: Bell Collective, all the shows, right, But I'm low key
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  Speaker 3: a big bachelor and bachelorette fan. So when Rachel Lindsay
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  Speaker 3: was cast as the first black bachelorette, I of course
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  Speaker 3: had to watch and support my good sister, right, But
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  Speaker 3: over the course of the season, I low key tuned
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  Speaker 3: out and I'm in two not because of Rachel. I
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  Speaker 3: tuned out because it was hard for me to believe
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  Speaker 3: that all of these men were the right one for her.
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  Speaker 3: But I wanted to invite her on the podcast, not
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  Speaker 3: only because she made history as the first black bachelorette,
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  Speaker 3: but I also wanted to know about her experience being
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  Speaker 3: the first black bachelorette. And what came out of this
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  Speaker 3: conversation is so juicy. I had no idea that Rachel
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  Speaker 3: received so many hate mail from the Bachelor nation, who
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  Speaker 3: felt that she disrupted their favorite show. In addition to that,
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  Speaker 3: Rachel and I have a deep conversation on black women
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  Speaker 3: finding love and choosing outside of your race who to
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  Speaker 3: love and when you do that, what does the black
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  Speaker 3: audience say about you. Lastly, we talk about the microaggressions
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  Speaker 3: she felt on set, not only by the cast but
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  Speaker 3: also the producers, who baby this one is good. Without
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  Speaker 3: further ado, here is my conversation with Rachel Lindsay being
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  Speaker 3: the first black bachelorette. What was that experience like for you?
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  Speaker 3: Because as a black man who is the king of
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  Speaker 3: reality TV, I know all too well what being on
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  Speaker 3: television is about what that feels like for reality stars. Obviously,
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  Speaker 3: my shows are like ensemble casts. You get to hang
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  Speaker 3: out with.
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  Speaker 4: Your friends and cocktails and you know.
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  Speaker 3: Throchete, whereas on the Bachelorette. You are at the epicenter,
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  Speaker 3: it's your show with a seampul of hot guys. But
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  Speaker 3: tell me about that experience and what it was like
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  Speaker 3: being a black woman. You know, did you feel the
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  Speaker 3: pressures to represent for our community?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's so weird. It was kind of an
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  Speaker 1: ebbs and flow when it came to representation.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, I always.
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  Speaker 1: Feel it just because first I am black, I am
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  Speaker 1: a woman, And that was my motivation for saying yes
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  Speaker 1: to being the Bachelorette, because originally I was like, no,
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to lose my career, my reputation is going
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  Speaker 1: to be questioned. I just don't know if I want
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  Speaker 1: to go through all of this again. But it was
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  Speaker 1: someone telling me who had watched the show before, So
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  Speaker 1: the show didn't mean to me what it meant to
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  Speaker 1: so many people who'd been fans.
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  Speaker 2: Of it for such a long time.
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  Speaker 1: And I also think that helped me navigate it because
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  Speaker 1: I didn't have the.
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  Speaker 2: Same connection to the show like other people.
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  Speaker 1: But it was someone who had seen it before, I mean,
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  Speaker 1: who had been watching it for years. Say, my daughter
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  Speaker 1: is so excited to see herself represented on the show,
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  Speaker 1: because she knew I went far on The Bachelor from
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  Speaker 1: the spoilers, and I said, you know what, that's the
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  Speaker 1: type of person I want to do this show for.
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  Speaker 1: Because I'm not a fan of it, but how many
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  Speaker 1: other people are who are just waiting to see themselves
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  Speaker 1: represented on this platform, on this show.
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  Speaker 2: That was my sole purpose for doing it. I thought,
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  Speaker 2: if I fell in love, I fall in love. It
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  Speaker 2: is what it is.
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  Speaker 1: That's the sense of responsibility I felt was to represent
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  Speaker 1: myself well as a black woman. And that's all I
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  Speaker 1: as I guess as big as I looked at it,
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  Speaker 1: and then as it got closer and I saw the
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  Speaker 1: reaction from people like, oh my gosh, it's the first
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  Speaker 1: and it was everywhere, and my stylis said, hey, the
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  Speaker 1: Hollywood reporter picked it up, and I said, what's the
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  Speaker 1: Hollywood Reporter?
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  Speaker 2: It let me know how green I was.
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  Speaker 1: I'm serious, how green I was coming into this world
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  Speaker 1: and I start to have a panic attack, And then
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  Speaker 1: once I came through, I just realized, Okay, this is
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  Speaker 1: bigger than you.
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  Speaker 2: You're doing this for the culture.
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  Speaker 1: And so I did feel that pressure, but I knew
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  Speaker 1: that the type of black man that I have dated
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  Speaker 1: before coming on the show would never come on the show.
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  Speaker 4: What does that mean?
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  Speaker 1: Sis, It's hard to it's hard to explain.
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  Speaker 4: No explained to me. I date black man too, so
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  Speaker 4: I get it.
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  Speaker 3: So is it like, because you know, there's different types
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  Speaker 3: of black men and don't read me, I'm gay dub,
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  Speaker 3: but I know black man.
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  Speaker 4: I am one.
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  Speaker 3: So when you say that, is it a black man
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  Speaker 3: who's a little.
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  Speaker 4: Thuggush ruggish ball.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, because I always tell people there's two
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  Speaker 3: types of black men. There's the Wayne Brady's and then
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  Speaker 3: there's the little Waynes So which one do y'all want?
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  Speaker 4: Sis?
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  Speaker 1: If that is the spectrum the spectrum, then mine leans
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  Speaker 1: a little bit more on the Wayne side.
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  Speaker 4: So my way Brady or little Wayne.
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  Speaker 2: Shoot, they are both Wayne little Wayne look away.
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  Speaker 1: And I say that, and this is no shade to
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  Speaker 1: the guys that the black men that were on my season.
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  Speaker 2: But those guys would never come on a reality show.
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  Speaker 1: They're very private and probably private for the wrong reasons.
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  Speaker 1: They ain't trying to get caught up and have their
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  Speaker 1: business out there, because if you read my book, you
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  Speaker 1: know the loose the type of the man that I
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  Speaker 1: was dating.
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  Speaker 2: So that's more of what I mean.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not taking away from anybody's blackness because I think
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  Speaker 1: he can be interpreted that way. I'm specifically talking about
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  Speaker 1: the type of men that I dated prior to coming
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  Speaker 1: on the show. So I had reason with myself that
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  Speaker 1: it is very possible that if you fall in love,
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  Speaker 1: he may not be black.
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  Speaker 2: I also had.
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  Speaker 1: Reasoned that people are meeting me for the very first
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  Speaker 1: time they met me on The Bachelor it was a
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  Speaker 1: white guy whose season it was, then if I choose
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  Speaker 1: somebody else who's not white, everyone's gonna be like system
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  Speaker 1: like black men, which could.
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  Speaker 2: Be the farthest thing from the truth.
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  Speaker 1: That's the first time I had really dated somebody, and
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  Speaker 1: I say that on the Bachelor, I never brought someone
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  Speaker 1: home there wasn't black. So I had kind of gotten
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  Speaker 1: that all out of my head, or I reasoned with
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  Speaker 1: that in my head before I went on the season.
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  Speaker 1: And then I was like, you know what only pressure
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  Speaker 1: I feel is to make sure I'm representing my family right,
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  Speaker 1: representing who I am as a black woman right, and
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  Speaker 1: everybody else can miss me with the you should have
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  Speaker 1: picked this person she don't like black man.
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  Speaker 2: All of that. I'll deal with that on the back.
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  Speaker 3: End later no, listen, you were so authentic on that show.
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  Speaker 3: And what I loved about you being on that show
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  Speaker 3: is you were so much of a breath of fresh air,
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  Speaker 3: you know, like you were just you.
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  Speaker 4: And again, as somebody who produces reality television, I know when.
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  Speaker 3: Someone is playing up to the camera, and I thought
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  Speaker 3: that you never did that. You were like, look, I'm Rachel,
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  Speaker 3: I'm a little wacky, you know what I mean.
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  Speaker 4: I'm a little serious, I'm funny.
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  Speaker 3: You had all of these great sort of like attributes
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  Speaker 3: that really told the fullness of who you were as
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  Speaker 3: a woman. Thank you, and obviously you know you found
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  Speaker 3: love of congratulations with that.
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  Speaker 4: You guys are like still together.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, we've been We've been together for five years, we've
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  Speaker 1: been married for two and a half years. We live
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  Speaker 1: in LA we just got a home together. Yeah, no,
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  Speaker 1: we're this is this is the real thing. And who
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  Speaker 1: would have known when I tell you, I had to
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  Speaker 1: convince my parents that this was real, because even when
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  Speaker 1: I left them, I was like, don't worry you guys,
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  Speaker 1: this is this is for you know, us representation. So
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  Speaker 1: they didn't understand that I really did fall in love.
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  Speaker 1: They thought I was still playing a part. It wasn't
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  Speaker 1: until after the.
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  Speaker 2: Show was over.
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  Speaker 1: We were completely done, and I was like, hey, I'm
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  Speaker 1: taking Brian to Houston to meet the rest of the family.
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  Speaker 1: And my Mom's like, oh, we're the camera's coming. I'm like, no,
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  Speaker 1: we are in real life. Now, this is it. So
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  Speaker 1: it really was a shock to my entire family and
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  Speaker 1: they had to reason with no, like, we have to
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  Speaker 1: trust Rachel. She really did fall in love. She is
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  Speaker 1: truly engaged and we'll see, we'll see where it goes.
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  Speaker 1: And they love Brian and they love we vacation together
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  Speaker 1: as both of our families together all that, so it's
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  Speaker 1: it's the real deal.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, So let me ask you this, when it comes
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  Speaker 3: to a blacklack woman, an educated black woman, you know
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  Speaker 3: at that I've always been told that it's very hard
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  Speaker 3: for a black woman to find love. And when people
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: look at black women in high positions, from Kamala Harris
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  Speaker 3: to our new.
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  Speaker 4: Supreme Court appointee.
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  Speaker 3: Josh Brown, yes, Serena Williams, they have noticed that these
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  Speaker 3: women are with white men.
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  Speaker 4: What advice would you give.
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  Speaker 3: The sisters, Because I'm going to say this on the record,
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  Speaker 3: I have told my black female friends, you need to
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  Speaker 3: date outside your race, because I think you're trying so
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  Speaker 3: hard to make fetch happen that you need to expand
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  Speaker 3: your horizon and listen, I'm all about black love too, child,
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  Speaker 3: but listen, look at me and you and look at
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  Speaker 3: the black community.
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  Speaker 4: You know, we're all different colors and shades.
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  Speaker 3: Obviously there's been some milk in people's magnesium, right, So
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  Speaker 3: is it something to where you know when it comes
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  Speaker 3: to black women dating, Like, do you feel like black
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  Speaker 3: women should start opening their eyes to dating people outside
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  Speaker 3: their race because you just never know?
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  Speaker 1: Yes, Because that's my story and that's why in my book,
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  Speaker 1: it was so important for me for people to see
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  Speaker 1: my life plan at different stages because it was black
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  Speaker 1: black black black, and I've taught.
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  Speaker 2: I've been very vocal about this.
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  Speaker 1: I was that person who was like, no, I have
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: to be with somebody who's black, because nobody can understand
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: me like a black man can understand me. And I
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: still believe that that's true in a lot of ways.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: So that's what I had to have, and I did
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: that my entire all the way up until I was
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: in my thirties, and then right at the beginning of
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  Speaker 1: my thirties, and then I was just like when I
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  Speaker 1: came out of this five year relationship.
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  Speaker 2: Where I just thought, this is it, this is over.
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  Speaker 2: I'm spending the.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Rest of my life with this person. And then it
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: didn't happen. I thought, I am cutting myself out to
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  Speaker 1: so many people. Someone who I might connect with spiritually,
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  Speaker 1: I might vibe with, might give me every single thing
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  Speaker 1: I want.
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  Speaker 2: But they might not look the way that I think
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  Speaker 2: they're supposed to be with me. I said, I'm just
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  Speaker 2: gonna be free. I'm just gonna open myself up to whoever.
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  Speaker 2: I'm gonna connect with whoever.
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  Speaker 1: And once I did that, that was like a really
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  Speaker 1: freeing moment for me. I didn't I tore up the
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  Speaker 1: list that I had.
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  Speaker 2: I had a real list, tore it up and said, it's.
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  Speaker 1: Just whoever I vibe with, and I'm just going to
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  Speaker 1: go from there. And I encourage people to do that.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: If you have a list, throw it away. If there's
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  Speaker 1: certain there should be certain things that you're not going
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  Speaker 1: to compromise on, hold on to those.
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  Speaker 2: Those are your morals, those are your values.
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  Speaker 1: But when it comes to some of the superficial stuff,
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  Speaker 1: like I had to have a black man, I had
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  Speaker 1: to have an omega man.
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  Speaker 2: He had to be a certain type.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm Adelta shout out to Delta Signatator Sorority Branded.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, I did. I want to.
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  Speaker 1: I wanted all of that and then I just started
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  Speaker 1: letting that go. And if I hadn't done that, I
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  Speaker 1: never would have been ready for Brian, who is every
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  Speaker 1: single thing that I would want in a man, but
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  Speaker 1: the one thing that I thought I had to have
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  Speaker 1: was him being black.
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  Speaker 2: Brian's not.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm more in love than I've ever been before.
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  Speaker 1: So I would just tell people, don't just be open right,
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  Speaker 1: don't neglect. I can't stand people who are like I
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  Speaker 1: only date this, but be open to it.
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  Speaker 2: You never know. You might be surprised. And I bet
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  Speaker 2: if you asked.
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  Speaker 1: Every single one of those women black women that you
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  Speaker 1: name who are either married or dating someone outside of
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  Speaker 1: their race, they were beautifully surprised.
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  Speaker 2: They weren't expecting it.
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  Speaker 3: Stay tuned for more of my conversation with Rachel.
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  Speaker 4: We'll be right back. Have to be quick, ads.
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  Speaker 3: This is reality with the King, and I'm Carlos King.
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  Speaker 3: Let's get back into my conversation with Rachel. One thing
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  Speaker 3: about you is you're so honest and That's why I
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: said earlier, your breath of fresh Air. So you have
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  Speaker 3: a new book call miss Me with that yes, which
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  Speaker 3: I love that title.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you.
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  Speaker 3: And in the book you talk about you wanted to
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  Speaker 3: get on the Bachelorette to make change, but the moment
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  Speaker 3: you were there, you realize you were their token.
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  Speaker 4: What did you mean by that?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: So I really I knew why I was motivated to
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: say yes to be the.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: Bachelorette, and I guess I.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Was naive and thinking that they wanted it solely for
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  Speaker 1: that reason too, which was to represent in a way
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: or for people who hadn't seen someone who looks like
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: me in this role to know it's okay, you can
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: tell our love stories too.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: We know how to find love.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Black women can be adored and appreciated, and hopefully it
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: paves the way for other people in them, not just black,
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: but in the bipod community to have their stories told.
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  Speaker 1: It shouldn't stop with me.
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  Speaker 2: I thought we were on that same page. As I started.
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  Speaker 1: To navigate the journey and this whole Bachelor franchise, specifically
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: as the Bachelorette, I realized that I was just checking
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  Speaker 1: something off their box.
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  Speaker 2: I realized that.
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  Speaker 1: They just wanted to say, hey, we did it. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: let's go back to what's worked before. And that's shown
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  Speaker 1: in the fact that I was the bachelrette in twenty seventeen.
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  Speaker 1: It took three years, and that year that it did
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  Speaker 1: change was twenty twenty. It took three years for them
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  Speaker 1: to bring another person of color into that role at
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  Speaker 1: that and it was the first time it was a
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: black man to be the bachelor, and twenty twenty, we
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: all know what happened. So that was just a response
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  Speaker 1: to what was happening in society rather than them actually wanting.
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  Speaker 2: To make change.
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  Speaker 1: And so for me, it made me realize, Okay, they
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: want to be able to say they did it. They
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  Speaker 1: also picked me because that audience could understand, Oh, we
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  Speaker 1: can get why she's the first one. That's what I
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: also mean by token on paper, It's like she's an attorney,
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  Speaker 1: her dad's a federal judge. She's done this, she's done that.
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  Speaker 1: So it's like, Okay, we get her, we get why
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  Speaker 1: you want her to be the first as if I'm
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  Speaker 1: different or I'm an anomaly, when you had plenty of
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  Speaker 1: black contestants that have come on the show.
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  Speaker 2: And so that is what I mean by the token too.
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  Speaker 1: It had to be the right person to come along,
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  Speaker 1: because there have been plenty of qualified black contestants that can.
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  Speaker 2: Do this role as the bachelor or bachelorette.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: And when you compare it to the white counterparts that
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: had come before me, they weren't put through some rigorous tests.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: They didn't have to check off certain boxes. Some of
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: them weren't employed, some of them were living at home,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: so you know, but I had to be damn near
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: perfect to come along. I mean they have from what
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: I'm told. When I went to my audition, they already
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: had flagged me she could be the one because of
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: what I look like on paper.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: No, what's interesting is my podcast first episode was with
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: Ebony K. Williams, who is the first black woman to
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: be on the Real Housewives of New York City. And
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: from your conversation with me, y'all stories parallel.
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: I don't know if you know her or watch the.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: Show, it's very parallel in the sense of the type
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: of black women that are chosen to be the first.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: You know, listen, there's a certain scan tone that I'm noticing,
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: there's a certain team, Like you said background, you know
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: what I mean, you talk about your father being a judge.
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: Ebony is an attorney. You know, she went to law school.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: All.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: What's also interesting is this sort of call to action saying, okay,
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: we did it, leave us alone. And that's something that
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: she and I talked about. And I'm noticing some parallels
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: with you and the Bachelor franchise, because again, I watched
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: the first season twenty years ago with Tristan Ryan. Like,
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: I've always been a fan of the show, and I
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: was eighteen years old at the time. Black people want love,
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: they desire love. So the fact that they thought twenty
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: years later, let's do it. But what was also interesting
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: is I was told.
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: And I want to know if you were also told this.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: I was told that when you became the first black bachelorette,
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: they said, oh, the ratings are down, and see that's
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: why we don't do this.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Did you hear that too, Yeah, it was something along
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: the lines of my ratings were lower than the bachelorettes
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: before me, and it was now I will give credit
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: to the creator of the show, because the creator of
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: the show, said Mike Flie, he was quoted as saying,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Rachel's this, this, and this, She's all the things that
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: an ideal.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: Bachelorette is supposed to be.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: And it seems to me that our audience, in a
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: trumpish kind of way, didn't.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Want to watch her.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: He said that as New York Times, New York Posts
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: something like that, So I.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: Appreciated that he called out the audience. Now, again, the
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: show is a business, so you.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Might have called them out and in that notion, but
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: at the same time, you continue to give them what
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: they wanted because you got a business at the end
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: of the day. So they definitely would would say that.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: I would hear rumblings of that of like, oh, your
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: season was lower, But then what they always forget to
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: say is so was the bachelorette right after me who
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: was white. Her ratings were lower than mine, And then
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: the next one's lower, and the next one, and the.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Next one in the next one.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: So it's just kind of a sign of the times
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: when it comes to television more than it is just
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: for me being a black bachelorette.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and one of the things you read about in
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: your book that I want to talk about is the
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: microaggressions you've experienced. There's this scene with Vanessa from the show,
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: and you said something along the lines of As the
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: numbers dwindled, our issues became so obvious, the producer said,
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: you need to talk it out. They staged a scene.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: I was sitting down pretending to read a book. Vanessa
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: came over and said, Hey, can I talk to you.
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: I look back and see how that setup made her
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: look like the bigger person.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: The first thing she said to me was, I feel
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: like you bullied me in the house. Immediately, I felt
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: my blackness was on display. I knew the audience was
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: going to look at me as an angry black female.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so that I am a person who's like, if
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: I don't mess.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: With you, I don't mess with you. And that's what
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: As the numbers start to go down, it became very obvious.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: You know, we started getting less and less women.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: People were getting sent home.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: It became obvious who messed with who on the show.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: And I didn't have an issue with Vanessa. I just
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: saw her behavior in the house with certain things, and
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, I don't really want that energy. You're
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: not gonna be best friends with anyone.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: It's fine. This was at the time.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: We're totally cool now, and so I just didn't want
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: to be around her, but she.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: Kept making it an issue.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: I guess telling producers, you know, I want to talk
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: to Rachel.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Rachel doesn't like me. They were like, Rachel doesn't have
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: an issue with you.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: She was also going and telling Nick that I was
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: ostracizing her in the household. So it's like she was
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: trying to eliminate her competition at that point, which happens
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: to people. The atmosphere doesn't necessarily always bring out the.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: Best in people.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: So it's funny, how you know, I say, in that moment,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: I real that I knew. I always knew my blackness
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: was on display, but it wasn't until later that I
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: was detached that I realized they made her look like
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: the bigger person because they came to me and they
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: were like, hey, we're going to have you Vanessa talk.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: You know you read here, She'll come get you. But
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: it was later that I said, oh, she already looks
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: better because she is trying to fix whatever the situation is.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Where I was never given the opportunity to do that.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: But yes, she.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Immediately calls me a bully, and I just remember saying
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: how I asked her the question. That's a really strong
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: word how am I a bully? She would give out
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: examples like you didn't look at me when we were
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: all in the circle talking, I mean.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Like really silly like that.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: And so I just gave her examples of things that
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: I had seen in the house, which is why we
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: weren't close, and I said, that's really my issue, it's
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: nothing personal. But she was crying, she was screaming, and
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I remember sitting there and I was just kind of
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: like I had to sit there and not react. And
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: when it was over, I was livid, and of course,
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: like they're running behind me like cameras trying to get
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: a reaction, and they're like, why don't you come in
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: an im and talk about it? And I was mad
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: because and I remember saying, I am going to look
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: so bad.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: She called me a bully.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: You don't understand how triggering those words are and how
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: that is going to affect me in front of this
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: white audience is going to be watching me.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: That's all they're going to see is that I'm a bully.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Coming from her, She'll get the benefit of the doubt
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: and I won't. And I had just come off this
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: being at this kind of restaurant bar that doctor Martin
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Luther King Junior had been at so I was really
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: in my feelings of walking in the same places that
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: he had been, and then I had to be subjected
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: to this. So I was talking about all this in
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: the ITM and then the producer basically said to me,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: we're not going to air it. And at the time,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: I thought, oh my gosh, they're really looking out for me.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: They really understand because he said, there's no way that
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: you're going to come off looking good, and I thought, wow,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: they get me Again. When you're removed from it, you
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: realize it's a little bit more to the story. It
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: wasn't just that they were looking out for me. They
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: were looking out for their next lead. There is no
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: way an audience would accept me if that aired. I
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: would be a bully, So why are you letting this
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: bully become the next bachelorette. So it was more so
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: them looking out and protecting who they were going to
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: make as their first black lead than it was about
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: truly caring how that audience viewed me. Because later on
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: during my finale, when I told Peter that I was
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: living my best life, they had Chris Harrison come back
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: after commercial and tell me, I seemed angry when I hadn't.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: Raised my voice or said a curse word or anything.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: And then they fed Peter the line of saying, well,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I feel like you attacked me. So they really did
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: not care how I looked in front of an audience
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: that was to protect their asset.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I was their asset at that moment. So those are
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: things that I realized as I detached.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Myself from the franchise. There's always an ulterior motive. It's
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: not really that they care for at least in my circumstances.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: They didn't really care. They're motivated by protecting this franchise.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: No, no, listen, the Bachelor is a huge franchise. And
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: not only is it huge, you know how Beyonce has
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: her behive and Nicki Minaj has her barbs girl, that
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: Bachelor Nation the Bachelor behive is severe up in here, stangs.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: Did the Bachelor Nation support you or did they sting
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: you in the comments like the Beehive does if you
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: attack Beyonce yourself those cards.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: I'm actually surprised.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: I'm still not inflamed right now from all the stinging
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: that I've received from bachlorination.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Now, granted, there's two sides to it.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: I say, there's the clan, there's the Bachelor Clan, and
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: then there's Bachelor Nation.
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: Wait, clan with a.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: C ork with a K with a K, there's a
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Bachelor Klan with a K, and there's Bachelor Nation. And
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I've received a lot of support for Bachlination. I mean,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: even having left it because it was just too toxic
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: for me, a lot of people still support and I
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: appreciate that. And then there's a sector which is honestly
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: who I blame the franchise for empowering because they've constantly
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: given them the product that they've wanted over the last
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: twenty years, and now want to question why they have
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: such a visceral response from certain sectors of their audience
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: because you've created this, You've given them exactly what they wanted,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: and now you're trying to change it up and you're
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: really seeing how toxic and really tragic certain areas of
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation are. I mean, you can go on any
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: day on a Facebook or something and see there are
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: legitimate groups that hate me. They blame me for Chris
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Harrison's departure, they blame me for breaking up my former
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: co host's relationship with her fiance. They blame me for
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: not having grace and understanding when a former leads at
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: the N word, you know, like everything is my fault.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: I'm evil, I'm manipulative, I'm a It's just I'm never given.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: And I really discussed this in my book. I talk
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: about how.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: I'm never given any kind of.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: Grace as to or understanding when it comes to a situation.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: It must have been something Rachel did. It must be
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: her fault. Oh that happened because Rachel did this. And
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: it's wild how the thinking and the logic is, or
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: I should say it's not really logic when it comes
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: to how fascination thinks.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: But I've just become accustomed to it at this point.
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: That is sad.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: And listen, I am a former Real Housewives producer.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: And one thing about the housewife fans. They are hard juddy.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: They're a hype in itself.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: And listen, I love my Housewives fans because they ride
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: for me, they support me.
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: I love the good ones. But there is a.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: Small fraction of housewife fans that makes it not fun
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: to talk about housewives or to wash the shell because
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: they take it so seriously. Yeah, it's and I kind
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: of gathered that when it came to the Bachelor Nation
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: because it's like, guys, this is unscripted, like we're living
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: our best life.
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: At least we're trying to.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: And we appreciate the fans, We appreciate the support, but damn,
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: I don't need a cross burning steak at.
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: My front lawn because you don't like what.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: I'm representing for this community because you haven't seen it yet.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: And that's awful that you had to experience that. And
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm blown away. And I'm also blown away
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: because the fact that they're blaming you for Chris Harrison's firing.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: So to give my audience a backstory, because a lot
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: of these guys are housewife fans and they're like Carlos
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: was tsis so long story short. Chris Harrison was the
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: Andy Cohen of The Bachelor, right, Chris Harrison was the
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: Andy Cohen.
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: Yes, for The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: He was the host, he was the MC, he was
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: the mister of Ceremony, if you will, And he made
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: a comment when they brought up an issue of race
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: regarding the first black male bachelor named Matt James. There
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: was a woman on the show named Rachel, a white woman,
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: and there was photos that were leaked on her at
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: a party.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, an ante bellum party.
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: Wearing the costumes. And you know, listen, I'll have time
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: to give out history lesson. Go read a book.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: But obviously there was Rachel undertones with that, and Chris
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: Harrison made a comment. I'm not going to quote him
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: and I'm going to paraphrase it, but he made a
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: comment in regards to supporting Rachel and giving her pass
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: for what she was doing.
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: And you were outspoken about that.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: And people are saying because Rachel, Lindsey was outspoken, meaning
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: giving her opinion on something that everybody in the world
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: was asked about her comment of saying how bad it
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: was that he did that to support Rachel. It made
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: him get fired from ABC.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: And what's even more wild is I was doing it
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: in the confines of my job.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: I was on the job.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: It's my job description to ask relevant questions, and the
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: most relevant topic at that time were these photographs. Because
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: it was rumored that white Rachel was the front runner,
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: and so you have your first black Bachelor and the
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: rumored front runner is taking these old South ante Bellum parties,
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: dressed up like she's Scarlett O'Hara from Gone with the Win,
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: and so it just it was very jarring and it
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: was just very surprising.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: So of course I asked.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Him, thinking he's going to give me the PC answer,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Seeing how he has been the host of this franchise
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: since its inception nineteen years he knows more about how
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: to give the PC answer and media training than anybody,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: And so I asked a question and he just decided
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: he had time that day and instead he just went
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: off about why we should be giving her grace, that
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: what she's doing is just what one of fifty thousand
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: people do in the South and kids go to these
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: type of parties all the time, and is it a
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: problem now or was it not a problem in twenty eighteen,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: you know, like that kind of thing. And my response was, well,
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: it's always been a problem. I mean, what would I
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: represent if I went to that party? If I go
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: to an old South party? You go to an old
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: South party, Carlos, who we dressing up?
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: Ass? Who were gonna roleplay ass?
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: So that was my point of why it's wrong and
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: what it represents, your glorifying a time where we were enslaved,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, why are we celebrating this?
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: And his response was, well, who are.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: You, Rachel to judge and he said that to me,
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: who are you? I mean, he said, who the hell
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: are you? Who is Rachel lindsay, I'm a black woman
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: who's offended by the very things that you're talking about,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: And it was it was such a for your audience
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: who doesn't watch The Bachelor. The reason it was so
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: jarring is because if you ever watch Chris do anything,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: he has no emotion.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: He's very straightforward.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: He presents things as they should, He does not give
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: his opinion. This was the first time people were seeing
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: him loose, seeing him loosing the reins and just really
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: let himself go. And everyone was like, oh wow, that
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: is the real Chris Harrison. And he was defending things
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: that were so obviously offensive. And what made it worse
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: is he was yelling at me as a black woman
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: rather than listening to me, saying hey, I'm offended, all
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: while calling me his friend.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: But you weren't trying to hear what your friend had
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: to say.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: So it was a really big moment that caught a
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: lot of people off guard. And the reason it took
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: on an even bigger life of its own. Is because
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: then other contestants of color started saying that they supported
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: me and they condemned what he did, and then the
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: show came out and said they were suspending him, and
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: then they eventually let him go, even after he publicly
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: apologized on Good Morning America.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: So it just turned out to be this whole thing.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: But somehow me asking one question was manipulating him to
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: go on a fifteen minute.
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: Rant, Oh I'm sorry.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: My question exposed how a man really feels about this
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: particular topic. And you guys are mad at me and
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: not mad at the person whose words came out of
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: his own mouth, unedited, And he's not to blame for this.
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: That's crazy, But.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Isn't it crazy how life works?
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: If if he was going to go off like that,
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: it wouldn't have had the same impact unless he decided
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: to go off like that in front of the first
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: black bachelorette. How wild is that that that's the interview
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: that he decided to let luc in.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: It's such a full circle moment.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: You know, when he sat on that stage four years
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: before that and told me I was angry and I
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: seemed upset when really, I had the same energy that
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: I gave four years ago. I had to given that
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: interview where I had to show no emotion that I
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: was calm, cool and collected. Meanwhile, he can rant and
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: raise and do whatever it is that he wants to,
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: but somehow to a.
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: Huge sector of Bachelor Nation. That's my fault. That was
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: my fault. I made him talk like that. I tricked him.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: This is what people say. I tricked him into that.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: No, you're so powerful that everything is your fault, Darling.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: Every bad theme that has ever happened on that show
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: is Rachel Lindsay's fault.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: I'm a witch.
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: What advice would you give other black women who want
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: to appear on that show?
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Ooh, listen, I mean I'm fair.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: So I will say that there have been changes made since.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: You know, things really have blown up since twenty twenty,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: after I did the show, or after I was the
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: Bachelorette for three years, we saw nothing, and I was
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: very vocal about diversity and inclusion.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: When their hand was forced, they started to do that.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: They named Matt James, they hire a diversity consultant. They
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: thereafter they have Taysha, then they have Michelle. You see
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: more contestants of color coming on because you're having content
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: leads that are actually interested in dating multiple people in
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: the bipod community.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: So they have now.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Hired an executive producer for the first time.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: It's black.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: It's a black woman, So she's on the post side,
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: not necessarily inside making decisions a swamp posts.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: And post is where all the magic happens. And editing,
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: it's a whole different department that stays in the office
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: in this case now they stay at home child, but
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: they edit and put this show together. So when you
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: were on The Bachelorette, was there any black people, well
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: black producers or high level black producers who were work
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: working on the show in the field.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: So to go back, when I was on The Bachelor,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: there was not one black producer, not in casting that
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: I saw. If they were, I didn't see it, not
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: in casting, not in the field. So the people who
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: would have been in the house with us and the
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: one who's the executive producer, Now there were a couple
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: of posts, but as you just described, that's posts, so
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: they're not with us when we're making decisions, when we're
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to navigate it. And that
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: was One of the things that I talked about is
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: people of color aren't going to go far if they
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: don't trust who they're telling their story to. If someone
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: can't ask the right questions to get them to open up.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Who can show some level of understanding and some empathy
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: because they've experienced what they're going through, they understand how
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: they feel.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: In this environment.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: I didn't have that now because I've grown up in
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: a lot of p like I went to pwi's my
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: entire life. You know, I've been the only black at
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: my law firm, a couple of my law firms. I
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: understand the dynamics, so I can get through it, but
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: most people can't. And you know, most people just get
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable with it. You're already thrown into such a weird situation.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: So when I was the bachelorette, they brought in filled producers.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: That were black. They brought in three.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: Because it was going to be the most diverse cast ever,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: so they wanted people of color mixed in with this
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: diverse cast. On my side as the lead, you know,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: you've got a couple of producers with you. Again, I
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: was by myself. There was no one of color, so
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: that was even more difficult for me now that I'm
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: making decisions. And race was a huge factor in my
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: season if you haven't watched it, because they casted a
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: racist on my season and he was causing a lot
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: of drama in the house that I wasn't privy to
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: be to know and with me was a completely different person.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: So I didn't find all that out till after my
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: season was over.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: So back to what you were saying about producers and stuff,
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: they now have what I'm talking about. What they've done, well,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: they have an executive producer, but she's on. There's no
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: executive producer in the field. There's no producer there. There's
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: one guy unless they've hired more in the field, and
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: so they need to do a better job of that
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: so people can feel more comfortable.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: But they're taking those steps.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: So you know, I would just say, if you want
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: to go on one of these shows, read my book
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: so you can.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: And that's not a plug.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: The book is called miss Me with That. Yes I'll
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: plug a honey, read her book miss Me with That.
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: Goheas this, but.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: More so to understand my experience. It'll be different because
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: I was the first. But then I would listen to
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: other voices out there. Listen to Ebanie k Williams she
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: had I'm a big Housewives fan. I'll watch every single franchise,
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: so I was very excited for Ebanie to join. And
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: I saw from the outside what Ebanie went through, and
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: I have had some conversations with her and I know
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: she went through so much more than that.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: So I would listen to those people just so you
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: can be prepared.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: You can have your antenna's up, and you can stay
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: alert because it's very easy when everything is take away
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: from you in that world. Because that world's different from Housewives.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: You have no phone, you have no TV, no internet.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Everything that's familiar to you is taken from you. So
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: all you can trust is your gut. So if you
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: can equip yourself with as much knowledge as possible before
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: you head in there, then you'll be fine and you'll
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: survive it.
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: I mean, this is the reason why I'm happy that
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: my career has taken this spind of being in front
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: of the camera, because I want more black people to
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: know that there needs to be more producers to work
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: on these shows.
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: And for me is.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: To get these executives whose job is to hire producers.
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: You gotta hire people who a not only reflect the talent, yeah,
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: but be who also have a skill set to do
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: the job.
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: Because I was a black.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: Producer working on Atlanta Housewives, du made sense. But I
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: was also a black producer working on New Jersey Housewives,
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: and it had nothing to do with my race in
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: terms of my connection with the Jersey Housewives. It was
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: my talent, but it's because someone gave me, gave me
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: the opportunity. My biggest thing, which is why I'm glad
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: I started my production company, is because I want to
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: implore more people of color to get these high level
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: positions because one thing I always tell people, when you're
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: working on a black show, I don't care if it's
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: a dating show or docuseries like a Housewives of Atlanta.
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: You need producers who reflect how the cast look because
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: there's a certain language that we have, there's a certain
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: look that we can give each other, and it makes
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: everybody's jobs easier. And that's why when I was talking
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: to Ebden k Williams about her experience on New York
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: City Housewives, that's when it hit me, like, you don't
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: have any black producers to work with either, And that
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: said a lot about her experience.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: It's tough, but it can be worth it, which is
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: why I don't want to tell.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm a living.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: Testimony that it can be. I don't I want to
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: discourage you from it.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: Just be prepared. I wasn't prepared in a lot of ways.
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: Well, look, you were prepared to find love, honey, you
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: found it. So before we end, what's the latest with
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: you and Brian? Are we trying to have baby babies?
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: What is it that you want out of your life
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: right now? When it comes to you and Brian?
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: So I it's so funny because a lot of people
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: will look on social media and they're like.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: You never post Brian? Are y'all still together?
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: There must be troubling paradise.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: What I will say about Brian and I is we
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: were so public obviously and how we met, and everyone
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: had an opinion on our relationship, and it was tough
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: for us when we came off the show because people
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: were mad. They were mad at me, they were mad
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: that I chose Brian and not Peter. So initially we
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: pulled back from everything and said, you know what, We're
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: going to get to know each other in real life
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: and protect ourselves with our family, our friends, people who
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: get us. And that's kind of carried on through our relationships.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: So we do a really bad job of letting people in.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: But we are so good. We just got a house
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: in La We're very excited about that.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: And we do want to grow our family.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: I am a person I'm very guilty of putting work first,
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: work work, work, work, work all the time, and I'm
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: really trying to be proactive because I'm ready.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: I have such baby fever. I swear.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: I was on a plane the other day and there's
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: a baby next to me and I stared at the
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: baby the whole time and I had to apologize.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: I apologized to the mom.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not I'm just like really having
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: baby fever right now. So yeah, I've just been so
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: busy i haven't had to focus on it. But we're
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: trying to focus on it right now. Like I'm actually
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: talking to some doctors and getting some referrals on some things.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: Well, when you come back on my podcast, I would
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: throw you a gender revealed party. Oh yes, a few parties,
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: so so trust me, I would do that for you
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: because you know, again, I feel like you represent a
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: lot of black women who just said, you know what,
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: let me take this chance.
• 42:01
  Speaker 4: And I'm such.
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: A proponent for people to just take a chance because
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: you never know what life has to offer for you. Yeah,
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: and you're the perfect example of that.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: Hek you. Thank you, so, Rachel?
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: Where can people find you? Follow you? Where can they
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: buy the book? All those things?
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, here you go, guys.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: You can catch me six out of seven days a
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: week on Extra check your local listings. You can catch
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: me on Higher Learning. Podcasts with Van Lathen comes out.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: New episodes drop Tuesdays and Fridays. We talk about everything
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: that intersects with black culture, from current affairs, politics, sports, entertainment,
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: all that good stuff.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: You can catch my weekly blog on Meta.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: I write once a week about anything lifelove, career, all that,
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: and I do an ask rage segment and then you
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: can follow me on social at the Rach Lindsay And yeah,
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: that's everything.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: The beauty of my conversation with Rachel is the fact
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: that it was nice to highlight the pressures that she
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: felt being the first black bachelorette and also what that
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: meant for her, her family, her sanity, in addition to
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: her legacy. So to see that she did find love
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: is amazing. But what was the gag of the gagg
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: gag gay gags is? I had no idea since was
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: into the thugs, Rightchel, I.
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: Didn't notice this. I love it though, I feel you girl, but.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: No all jokes aside. I really hope you guys pick
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: up a copy of her book in addition to the
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: fact that continue to support her as she is a
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: correspondent on Extra and I really do love her. She
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: is such a good girl, such a funny woman, and
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: now she's a rain drop.
• 43:47
  Speaker 4: Let's go Rachel.
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: Thoughts opinions. Read about my conversation with Rachel. Email me
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: every Reality with the King at stitcher dot com or
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: leave me a voicemail at three one zero five nine
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: three eight one eight eight.
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: Thank you for listening to Reality with the King.
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: New episodes drop every Wednesday and Friday, Share, comment, follow
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: and subscribe to Reality with the King Wherever you get
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: your podcasts, visit realitywthe King dot com and be sure
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: to follow me at the Carlos King Underscore on Instagram
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: and Twitter. Reality with the King is a production of
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: More Sauce by Stitcher. It is executive produced by me
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Carlos King and Jasmine Henley Brown. We are also produced
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: by Sierra Spradley, Rix engineering and music by Marcus ham
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: More Sauce