Latest / Crafted Clarity: Distilling the Tension Between Success and Significance / The Trap of "Make It Happen" | When the Old You Stops Working

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The Trap of "Make It Happen" | When the Old You Stops Working · Crafted Clarity: Distilling the Tension Between Success and Significance

0:02
I was chasing what the world said I needed.
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I needed the world's approval. That's really at the end of the
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day, I needed the world's approval because I was not
0:12
enough for myself. And so God was leading me to
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that place. One way or another, He was going
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to get me to a place to where I was going to figure out that I
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am enough for myself, right? And that's a special place to be
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because it leads me to that sentence I was going to share
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with the listeners. The more of myself I sacrifice,
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the more of myself I find. And that's how I Live Today.
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Yeah, I love that. I love that.
0:40
And in whiskey terms, that's the distillation process.
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Today, I am joined by Scott Lackey.
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Scott originally reached out after listening to an episode
0:53
called Is What You Built Actually What You're Built For?
0:57
And what I love about this is it's exactly why this exists.
1:02
Someone hears something, it resonates.
1:05
Instead of just moving on, they lean into it.
1:08
So Scott and I had a conversation.
1:10
And in that conversation, he shared a story about going from
1:14
completely confident in who he was to a season where none of
1:19
that seemed to hold up anymore. And I remember sitting there
1:22
thinking, this is a conversation worth having.
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So Scott, welcome. I'd love to start here.
1:29
When that episode hits you, what was going on in your world that
1:34
made that question land the way it did?
1:37
Absolutely. And Steve, thanks for having me
1:38
on your platform and your show. And I'm been looking for this
1:42
conversation ever since that day.
1:44
And the answer to the question was actually I was nearing the
1:47
end of the editing process with my book that is is out now.
1:53
And it just, it just coincided, right?
1:57
The culmination of finishing the book.
1:59
And of course, I write a lot about this in different
2:02
chapters, from different vantage points, and listing that podcast
2:05
just struck a nerve because all those topics were fresh in my
2:08
mind when I saw when I heard them.
2:12
Yeah, yeah. So so to tell us about the
2:15
journey that you had from, you know, I have the pleasure of
2:20
kind of knowing your story a little bit, but bring us up to
2:22
speed on on the way up. Yeah, I love starting there and
2:29
I love starting there because one of the things I talked about
2:31
and I think we all relate to this are the lightning strikes
2:34
that we have in our life. And they aren't necessarily bad,
2:39
right? But a lightning strike is when
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there is an immediate change, whether it is voluntary or
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involuntary, such that the person we were just milliseconds
2:50
ago can no longer we can no longer go back to.
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And so when we talk about lightning strikes, the one that
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I most think about early in my, my life as a part of that origin
3:02
story, right, is when did I have my first really significant
3:06
lightning strike? And for me, that change came
3:09
just before I graduated from high school, when a teacher of
3:13
mine that was my arch nemesis in high school told me just before
3:18
boarding a bus in front of all my, my, my peers, You're going
3:22
to a college visit. Of course, I was only going to
3:25
get out of class for the day. And, you know, and she told me
3:28
over the rim of her glasses that I was not college material and
3:31
to go back inside. And, you know, the sad part
3:35
about that lightning strike moment was that, you know, I
3:37
knew she was telling the truth because I wasn't ready to go to
3:40
college. And and that was something that
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I wasn't really thinking about. And her saying that just pushed
3:45
all that to the surface because it was, like I said, nearing the
3:48
end of my high school time. And around that same time, my
3:54
coach was asking me, what do you want to do after call after a
3:58
high school? Where do you want to play
3:59
basketball? That I need to start making
4:00
telephone calls. And I'm telling my dad about
4:02
this. He's on a business trip.
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He comes home, says we're going to have a family meeting.
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And you don't have family meetings in my family.
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We, we had a wonderful family. We just didn't have family
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meetings, right. I knew something was bad and my
4:14
dad wanted to sit down and tell me the three things that I need
4:18
to be focused on after high school.
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And there were no certain order. And those three things were I
4:26
could go to college, go to college or go to college.
4:30
And so all that happened in the span of a couple of weeks, just
4:33
wrecking my world, right? I think it doesn't sound like
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it's that big of a deal other than the teacher telling me I'm
4:38
not college material, but for for who I was at that point in
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time in my life. All I cared about, all I lived
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in was today and a wonderful family, wonderful upbringing,
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wonderful life. I just live for the day they
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were forcing, they were forcing me to think about the future.
4:54
Well, let me stop you right there for a second because you
4:58
said that the teacher had given you a bit of truth, that you had
5:01
already felt that you're not college material.
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And then your father, who I'm assuming has has tremendous
5:09
influence over you, says you don't have an option.
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You're going to college, so you now have a little bit of tension
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in that identity at what was that like?
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Yeah, there was a there was enormous tension, as a matter of
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fact, because it all, like I said, the span of my teacher, my
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coach and my dad, my mom sitting there on the couch telling me
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those three things. That span was over a couple of
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weeks. And and again, at that point in
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my life, it turned me inside out.
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It was my first involuntary lightning strike happening to me
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that I did know, did not know how to reconcile, did not know
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how to process. I didn't understand, I didn't
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have the tools really to deal with that.
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And, and again, it, it was just a dramatic period of time.
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And so, so, so that's what was going on.
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And my father gave me two weeks to pick which college I was
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going to. We set the day and the time on a
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Saturday and when we were going to sit back down the living room
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and I was going to roll out where I was going to go to
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college. And, and the bonus, the cherry
6:13
on the top would have been if I would have played basketball or
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my coach, you don't want me to play basketball in college.
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So that's the answer. It was just it was it was really
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a mental chaos for me for two weeks.
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I mean, that hole in the stomach that we all feel, that
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emptiness, that uncertainty that we all feel.
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That's why I had for two weeks until late at night, one night
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sitting in my bedroom, a light bulb went off and it changed
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everything. It changed the course of my life
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forever from that moment, that night.
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And I'll tell you what that is briefly, and you may remember
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this as a younger man, I was in my bedroom watching TV late at
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night, and this commercial came on, Tanks rolling across the
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screen, soldiers marching airplanes.
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And the commercial ends, I'll never forget this.
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The commercial ends saying join the Army and be all you can be.
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We do more before 8:00 AM than most people do all day.
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I. Remember I I set up out of bed.
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It was the best saying the Army has ever had.
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And I set up out of bed, chills running up my spine, my hair
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standing up on my arm, because I instantaneously knew how I knew
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I don't know, but instantaneously I knew that is
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where I was going with United States Army.
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And that was, that was, that was a, a four week span, but that
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was two weeks of absolute terminal terminal turmoil.
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And then that commercial changed my life.
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And I look back on that. And when I say changed my life,
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I left a tree trunk, you know, going a different direction and
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never went back. It was.
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It was providential. So now when you saw that
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commercial, was that before or after you had the family meeting
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with your father to give the decision of where and when with?
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College. Excellent clarifying question.
8:04
It was the day before. It was on a Friday night, the
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day before the Saturday meeting with my father and my mom to
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give them an answer of where I was going to go.
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So you had already made the plan, the pitch to your father,
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ready to do that. And then this came in and made
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the hair stand on end and. Yeah, you know, he had told me
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he gave me the pitch, right? Two weeks before college.
8:28
College or college, and you've got two weeks to the day of
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telling us where you're going to go.
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Fast forward, it's Friday night before the Saturday meeting with
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my mom and dad to tell them where I'm going to college,
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which again, I had no clue what I was going to tell them.
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And the panic would rise every day.
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Panic would rise, panic would rise.
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The breaking point was that night when I saw that
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commercial, when I knew I was. And I went to instant peace too.
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It's crazy. I had an instant piece about it.
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So the next day, that Saturday, which was 2 weeks later, I sat
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down across the couch. He said, all right, son, lay it
9:00
on us. Where are you going to college?
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And I didn't even smile because I was didn't know what my
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family's going to say. And I just said that I'm not
9:08
going to college, I'm going to the Army.
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And there was absolute silence. You could break it with a cut it
9:13
with a knife, right? My mom's head went down.
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She started crying a little bit. My dad just stared at me and
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they finally broke the silence. He says you know what, son?
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That's going to be good for you. Oh wow.
9:24
Yeah. So how did that land?
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I mean, you had two weeks of panic rising up, getting
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stronger than you had this revelation the night before and
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then this. That's right.
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And so again, I don't, I can't, I've, I've never really been
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able to articulate the why part of it in terms of, you know, I
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knew exactly how I felt and I recall exactly how I felt,
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right. It went from panic stricken in
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darkness to absolute certainty. This, that's why I love the
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lightning strike analogy, is because I could not return to
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the human being I was seconds before that commercial came on.
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It was gone. The new person that I was OK,
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that that really commercial created within me and telling my
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father, my mother that this is what I'm going to do.
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Getting that out into the world, speaking that versus feeling it.
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I was just absolutely filled with excitement, enthusiasm,
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adventure, right? I'm going on a journey.
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Who knows where this is going to tell me just everything became
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possible. And I think that's really the
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word I'd like to use is that I went from everything is
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impossible to now everything is possible, right?
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Didn't know what that meant. And and of course I couldn't
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wait to get back to school, to high school and tell everybody
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I'm not going to college. You're right, not going to
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college. I'm going to join the United
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States Army. So how did that moment of
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clarity Sunday morning, Monday morning, when you walk in
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through the halls at school, how did that change how you approach
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classes? The way that you saw yourself
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when you looked in the mirror, how was that different?
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Well, it certainly made me more serious because I was not a good
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student. And it wasn't, it wasn't because
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of capability, it was because of interest, right?
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I wanted to enjoy my weekends, chase the opposite sex and drink
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and have fun on the weekends. That's that's and play
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basketball and run track. That's just what I wanted to do
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in high school. So it was it was it it it did
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renew my focus because I was that close to not graduating in
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high school that I buckled down for whatever that meant to me.
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I buckled down to make sure that I graduated from high school and
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took the you know, and prepare myself as best I could to take
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the entrance exam to join the military right in the physical.
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All those activities began surfacing.
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And So what was again complete uncertainty.
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This this, this roll out, if you will, of certainty began to come
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into alignment, not only personal alignment, but also on
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alignment in life of I knew exactly where I was going.
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So I could see that destination. There was a time when I was
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going to get on a bus back then you didn't get on airplanes.
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You got on Greyhound buses, right.
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And went to these, these these locations called met stations
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and the enrollment just that we got your head shaped.
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But yeah, so all of that. And of course I was, I was, it
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was quick for me to want to announce to my friends because I
12:32
never talked about where I was going after college.
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All of my high school friends will say, I'm going to go do
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this. I'm going to go here, I'm going
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to go there. And I was just silent when that
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when those discussions wrapped because I didn't know.
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And so now I could be a part of that conversation.
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Yeah, I love that. I love that.
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Going from uncertainty, trying to fit into someone else's idea
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of what your life is going to be, that lightning strike.
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Now you have clarity and motivation and a direction.
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OK, so now take me to in the military.
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Now you've made the decision, you've gotten the bus, you have
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that really nice haircut like I have.
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So. So how has military life been?
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Now, the military was God's gift to me.
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Of course, I didn't know this at the time, but I look back in my
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life and I really think that was, you know, a providential
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moment in my life where I think, you know, from my, from my
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spiritual standpoint that God intervened in my life when I
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was, you know, when I saw that commercial and knowing that
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certainty, that's what I attributed to, I didn't know
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that then. But you know, further down the
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road, looking back, that was an intervention in my life, a
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lightning strike, right. And so Fast forward to the
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military. The military was one of the
13:40
greatest, again, gifts I could have ever given to myself by
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raising my right hand and and swearing my oath to the country
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to, you know, to protect and defend is, is I was blessed with
13:50
the most incredible leaders after basic training in Fort
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Jackson, SC, went to an, you know, an AIT, an MOS school in
14:00
Fort Gordon, GA. And then I chose to go to
14:03
Germany for two years and the Army said, no problem, we'd love
14:07
to have you in Germany. So I got to live there for two
14:09
years in southern Germany, beautiful southern Germany near
14:11
Stuttgart. And I worked for a two star
14:15
general on a nuclear missile unit there.
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Accidentally left there. And just give me a high level
14:21
overview. Back to or not back to, but to
14:24
Fort Riley, KS, the home of the famous first Infantry division,
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the big Red 1. And I wasn't there very long
14:30
until you'll remember this. Saddam Hussein decided he wanted
14:33
to own Kuwait and he invaded. And we were woken up at 2:00 in
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the morning. This is not a drill.
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Pack your bags. We're going to the desert and I
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didn't know where the desert was at that point in time, you know,
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but that was a very short summary of, of my four years and
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I bled camouflage. I loved everything about it.
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I, I, I love getting up. Well, I should say everything.
14:56
I love most things about it. And but I was the guy that when
15:00
the sun was rising and the flag was going up and Reveille was
15:03
playing, I was proud to stand out there and salute the flag as
15:06
every morning I could do it. And that's what I loved about
15:10
the military. And I felt like, again, I was in
15:13
absolute life alignment when I was in the United States Army.
15:16
Again, not every day was a wonderful day, but that was my
15:19
overall active duty experience for the first four years you in
15:23
the military. But it didn't stay that way.
15:26
So now still in the military, I mean, like, you know, I do want
15:29
to go ahead and move on, but but in the military, you had shared
15:35
with me previously that you had found your groove, that that you
15:39
were advancing, you were doing well.
15:42
I mean, it sounded like you were, as you just said, in
15:45
perfect alignment with what the universe God had wanted for you
15:48
at this time. So so how did that feel walking
15:52
with that swagger of I am where I'm supposed to be?
15:56
I am being all I can be, just like the advertising said.
16:01
How did that align with? Yeah, this is.
16:05
This is finally who I am supposed to be.
16:08
Yeah. So this is a special place in
16:10
life that I think more of us, at least people I know maybe your
16:15
listeners, more of us seek out every day, right is we want that
16:21
alignment. We want to feel that alignment,
16:23
whether it's spiritual or career or family.
16:26
We just want to, we want to feel that alignment that we are where
16:29
we're supposed to be. And as much as we pursue that,
16:37
it's a little bit like saying, Scott, I'd like to pursue
16:41
happiness, you know, and I have to say to you, I'm sorry, if you
16:45
chase happiness, you'll never find it.
16:48
Well, then where is happiness? Well, happiness is going to be
16:51
in the very place you refuse to go look, right.
16:55
And so it's, I say that example because that's sort of what I
16:58
believe about alignment is that we can chase alignment as much
17:03
as we want, but there are going to be things, times, events,
17:06
lightning strikes, results that we're going to be an absolute
17:10
not, we're not going to be in alignment whatsoever, things
17:13
that are just out of our control.
17:14
So I say all that to go back to the military is that that was
17:17
not my experience for that period of time in my life, for
17:20
the from the moment I raised my hand in that room and swore no
17:24
to the flag of the United States of America, right?
17:27
All the way through my time in the desert with the burning oil
17:30
wells behind me in Kuwait, Iraq, Saudi Arabia and, and, and, and
17:35
my fellow soldiers trying to get me to re enlist.
17:37
You know, Scott, you're all army you need, you know, and I, and I
17:40
didn't because of another reason while I was over there.
17:44
But that was just again, a very special time in my life.
17:48
And it again, I hate to say that was because it was just because
17:52
I woke up every day to be all that I could be.
17:55
No, there were, there were bad periods of time, if you want to
17:57
call it that. But I just kept pushing that
18:00
aside and said, no, we're moving forward.
18:02
That was one of the things. That was two of the things I
18:03
guess let's just say the military gave me is that we
18:06
always move forward. Yeah, right.
18:08
And then that there's 3 words I used to this day that the
18:12
leaders that I was with empowered me to do this.
18:15
And that is to, to do the, to say these three things all the
18:18
time, which is Scott, I need you to make it happen.
18:22
Make it happen, Scott. And they empowered me to do
18:25
that. They cleared Rd. box blocks for
18:26
me to do that. So again, part of this has to do
18:29
with leadership, right? Who I was, Not only was I
18:32
serving the country, but the leaders that I was serving under
18:35
gave me room to be in that alignment versus the
18:38
alternative. We've all had bad bosses in our
18:40
life and you wake up out of alignment just knowing you've
18:43
got to go see them again, you know?
18:46
OK so so your buddies tried to get you to re enlist and you
18:50
said no I'm ready for my next season.
18:53
So you ordered the plane, you boarded the bus, you came back
18:56
home. Tell me about that.
18:59
Yeah, I think we have to back up one step, just to put it in
19:01
context, is I was on guard duty one night and I'd have been
19:06
thinking about what I was me and seven other sold or six other
19:10
soldiers were tasked to do when we were in the northern part of
19:14
Saudi Arabia's. We had to layout this
19:15
communication line between these various out outposts that were
19:19
very long distances by miles and miles away.
19:22
And to make a Long story short, on guard duty, thinking about
19:25
that just because I hated every minute of I thought everybody
19:28
else is out fighting the war and I'm laying communication lines,
19:31
you know, which was not true. It hadn't even started yet, but
19:35
I actually came up with an idea, a product A, a, a basically,
19:38
it's a, was a device that you could tow behind the truck that
19:41
would dig a trench, lay the wire and cover it up all at one time.
19:47
And I was and I and I came up with that idea on guard duty.
19:50
You're freezing my butt off at two or three in the morning.
19:53
I just could not wait for the sun to come up because I wanted
19:56
to go test out my idea, which we did.
19:58
We, we fashioned a crude tool and we drug it behind the truck
20:04
and it worked and we took days of work and finished it before
20:06
lunch one day. And we ended up giving it the
20:09
name the wire dog, right? Everybody hated that name, but I
20:12
liked it. So we called it the Wire Dog.
20:16
And and so it was that was the that was a tipping point for me
20:20
in the military because I was wrestling with, man, do I need
20:23
to stay in? Because if I didn't stay in,
20:26
what was I going back to? Was going back to two things.
20:29
One, civilian life. What's that going to be like?
20:33
That's a little scary, believe it or not.
20:36
And then the second thing I'm going back to is I got to go to
20:39
college. Where are all those skills you
20:43
had in high school? Big, big man.
20:44
You're not going to be barking out orders in college.
20:47
Well, now when you're thinking about college, is your teacher
20:53
looking over her glasses? Is her voice back?
20:56
1000%, man, 1000% because again, I knew just being honest with
21:02
myself, first of all, the delivery of her message, we, she
21:06
and I didn't like each other, right?
21:08
And she had the opportunity to punch back and that's what she
21:11
did. That's just call it what it was,
21:14
right? But minus that, she wasn't
21:18
lying, right? I did not apply myself in high
21:22
school. So what she was telling me
21:24
poorly delivered. Well, Scott, you didn't do the
21:27
work in high school. What makes you think you're
21:29
going to make it in college where, where there is no
21:31
accountability? The professor doesn't care if
21:33
you show up in class, It's all on you.
21:35
You're not disciplined enough. That's really what she was
21:37
saying to me. You're not disciplined enough.
21:39
And it was the truth. So that was what I recognized in
21:43
myself as I'm thinking about this invention about man, you
21:48
better tighten up when you get to, to the to, to college.
21:51
But of course, after four years in the military, guess what my
21:54
marching orders were to myself? Stop thinking about that stupid
21:57
stuff. Make it happen, Scott.
21:59
That's what you're going to do. You're going to, you're, you
22:02
were wildly successful in the United States Army.
22:05
You're going to go into college, you're going to make it happen.
22:07
And by the way, you're going into college as an inventor.
22:10
You now have a product that works.
22:12
You're going to build a business around this.
22:14
You're going to be in alignment. You're going to be different.
22:18
You know, you're going to be special.
22:19
You're going to be all these things.
22:20
So any negative thoughts that that came to my mind about
22:24
college were overshadowed by my military experience and knowing
22:29
that I have my first invention that worked in the desert that
22:32
I'm going to build a business around.
22:35
Well, with that expectation, it couldn't help but succeed,
22:39
right? That's what we think.
22:42
That's what. Really happened.
22:44
Yeah. What?
22:45
Listen, what really happened? You know, I say this, I make
22:47
this comment in my book. And this is true.
22:51
It doesn't matter how old we are, but we will make bold moves
22:57
in our life. We may make bold decisions, we
23:01
may have an incredible negotiation, A spirited debate,
23:05
but there are things that we will do that will allow us to
23:08
finally get a seat at the table. And that's awesome.
23:15
But just because you have a seat at the table does not mean you
23:18
have the skill to stay there. So I did all the right things to
23:26
feel like I was in alignment to build a business, to go launch
23:29
an invention. But the world had different
23:31
plans and everybody around me had different plans.
23:34
And I don't mean intentionally, but when I when I went to
23:38
college, by the way, I also had the imposter syndrome as well.
23:43
And what, and just give an example of that, I called the
23:45
newspaper and I didn't want to tell them it was me because I'm
23:49
afraid they were going to not believe me.
23:51
So I told them it was somebody I knew that came back from the
23:54
Army and I had an invention. Would they be interested in
23:57
writing about it? Isn't that interesting?
24:01
It is interesting, I mean, because you had stepped into
24:05
what you thought was exactly who you are, confidence through the
24:10
roof, but yet you're back into civilian life and that identity
24:16
that that confidence didn't seem to make the trip.
24:20
It didn't make the trip. Yeah, it didn't make the trip.
24:23
And it was, it was because I, again, I can say this in
24:26
retrospect, right? My confidence, my certainty, my
24:31
alignment had a lot to do with things I think are easy to
24:36
understand is the environment that I was in.
24:38
I excelled in the United States Army.
24:39
That is not civilian world. In the Army, I had incredible
24:44
leadership. Great leadership brings about
24:48
the gifts that people have. It nurtures them, it exploits
24:53
them. It inspires them.
24:56
It causes us to go beyond ourself when you have great
25:00
leadership. So when I transferred to
25:03
becoming a civilian, the only leader I had was myself.
25:11
There was no leadership in college.
25:14
And when I started talking about, let me tell you about my
25:16
invention and oh, by the way, did you see I was on the front
25:19
page of the newspaper above the fold, right?
25:24
And what I the first time I ever really experienced this is that
25:30
when when men and women decide that we're going to do something
25:35
different, you're going to go do an Iron Man, you're going to
25:38
launch a business. When you're going to do
25:40
something materially different, there are going to be a lot of
25:43
people around you, a lot of people around you that were
25:45
never meant to go on that journey with you.
25:48
And you're going to have to, you're going to part ways and
25:50
they're going to let you know you're going to part ways.
25:52
And that's what happened to me in college.
25:53
Is that virtually not everybody, but almost everybody that I told
25:57
about this invention gave me. That was Google back then, by
26:00
the way, you told everybody that was your search engine, right?
26:04
Right. Or the card catalog in the
26:06
library. That was Google back then.
26:08
And everybody gave me their opinions on what I should do.
26:11
And it was every opinion you could imagine.
26:13
None of them were in alignment with each other.
26:14
They were all contradicting each other and because I didn't have
26:18
great leadership, I just had myself.
26:20
I didn't know what I was doing. Then the doubts started to creep
26:24
in, right? Things that make it happen
26:27
couldn't solve things that discipline couldn't solve
26:31
because I was going to and fro and left and right and up and
26:34
down on this emotional roller coaster.
26:36
And it didn't take longer, You know, in the first couple of
26:39
years that it just it just perfect the high.
26:43
I'd say this, that my highest point was when I went to
26:47
college, and every week that went by for the first couple of
26:52
years, more and more air was let out of the balloon.
26:54
It was never fuller than when I started.
26:58
Right. And then what's some of the
26:59
advice real quick? A professor, you know,
27:01
professors in finance saying you should just sell it.
27:04
Oh, really? Tell me how to sell it.
27:06
I'm more than happy to do that conversation over.
27:08
I'd go see business people. Right.
27:11
You have a prototype? Nope.
27:12
Get out of here, right? And I love my family and my dad
27:16
has a wonderful head and had a wonderful engineering
27:18
background. And he just, he never told me he
27:21
didn't believe in the product, but he never told me he believed
27:23
in the product, right? Because he struggled,
27:26
understandably, from an engineering background.
27:28
I said, man, how does this actually work?
27:30
And plus you don't have any money.
27:33
Then I had one friend tell me, Scott, just stop talking about I
27:35
don't want to hear about it anymore.
27:37
Wow. How'd that one land?
27:40
Well, it landed exactly how you would think it would land.
27:44
But I, I again, looking back, I, I now know that what he was
27:49
really saying was, is that you're exposing my insecurities
27:54
about myself, about what I'm doing with my life.
27:57
And I don't want to hear about it.
27:58
You're making me uncomfortable. That's what I, that's what the
28:01
real story was there. But again, I didn't know that
28:03
the time I took it differently at the time.
28:06
That's what I mean about people trying to change their stars.
28:08
There's going to be people that let you know about what they
28:11
think about your your grand idea.
28:14
So how long were you at college after you came home?
28:17
Well, I went to college for four years, so four years active duty
28:21
and then four years in college graduating.
28:23
And it wasn't the final straw with the invention wasn't until
28:27
my junior year and the final straw, and you may remember this
28:31
as well, again, trying to figure out a way to graciously give up
28:38
to save all the embarrassments and all the I told you so's.
28:43
I was sitting in my apartment. The commercial comes on.
28:46
Do you remember a commercial from a company called the
28:48
National Idea Center? And if you pay a little bit of
28:51
money, we'll we'll help you with your invention and help you
28:54
market it. Yes, I've considered submitting
28:57
ideas when I was younger because I'm an idea guy.
29:00
There's always ideas that are coming but never pulled the
29:03
trigger and actually called. Yep.
29:05
So it's interesting. We're so we're old enough to
29:08
remember some of these things. Yeah.
29:10
So I saw that in my apartment one night and I thought, that's
29:14
it. That's the final straw.
29:16
These are the people that will fill the holes.
29:18
This is what they do. And I called and all it was
29:23
going to take was a small investment of $10,000 and we
29:26
could rock'n'roll. And so now I had to figure out
29:29
how to get $7000 because all I had was $3000 to my name and in
29:32
my entire life was $3000. And a few of there's a weeks,
29:38
couple weeks, whatever, it's a short time after that be trying
29:41
to figure out how to get the money because family were family
29:44
was out, right? I'm at work at a men's
29:49
department store called Dillard's.
29:50
And this man comes in in a suit, pristine suit.
29:54
The businessman I aspired to be as he's checking out, you know,
29:57
he's, you know, you work here full time.
30:00
No, I'm part time. Oh, what are you doing?
30:01
Oh, I'm in college, graduating, getting my degree, and I'm a
30:04
veteran. I just vomited on him when he,
30:06
this business guy, I just told him everything he didn't even
30:09
ask for. And at the end of that vomiting,
30:12
he pulls out a business card and hands it to me, says, why don't
30:14
you come by and see me? And I look at it and he's the
30:17
president of one of the local big banks.
30:22
I thought, Oh my gosh, have we got a connection and alignment
30:26
here? I was re inspired.
30:29
Fast forward, we met several times and that that gentleman
30:33
allowed me a $7000 loan with my signature and honor that I was
30:38
going to pay that back so that I could go after my invention.
30:42
And he gave me the $7000. And I'll never forget my dad
30:46
saying, you know, before you go sign off on this, Are you sure
30:48
you want to do this? Are you really sure you want to
30:50
do this? He never tried to talk me out of
30:52
it, right? And I just, I'd never forget
30:54
telling him this. I hope people hear this about
30:56
their own dream, which is dad. I'm actually honestly more
31:00
worried about living with myself and not trying this one more
31:03
time than I am about losing the $10,000 because if I lose it
31:07
I'll figure it out. Now how?
31:10
How much of this came back from the the new Scott of Make it
31:16
Happen? The Scott was in the army.
31:19
All of it. OK.
31:21
Yeah, all of it. It was a bounce back for sure,
31:23
because I, I did see this as a legitimate third party that
31:28
would objectively listen to what I was trying to do and support
31:32
that because I was paying them. I was the client.
31:35
Yeah, right. And so I, I, I saw that path
31:39
clearly and connected those dots to, isn't this how the rest of
31:44
the world works? You pay an accountant, you pay a
31:46
lawyer, you pay a doctor, whatever it is, you pay for a
31:48
professional to execute. And therefore I'm going to find
31:54
the one way right there. There's another saying I love,
31:57
right, which is find the one way to yes, right.
32:01
Most of the people I meet in my life today are, are either paid
32:05
or happy to tell you no. Everybody loves saying no and,
32:11
and, and I wanted to find the one way to yes.
32:14
And, and that interaction happened when that gentleman
32:16
came in and I vomited about my life story and he didn't ask
32:20
about it. Well, and it certainly sounded
32:22
like divine intervention. You didn't ask for that.
32:25
And just so happened that the right guy at the right time and
32:28
the right conversation was the one guy who would say yes when
32:32
everyone else in your life was saying no.
32:34
Correct, and I do look at my life that way and I do believe
32:37
in that spiritually about all things in life is that that God
32:42
causes people to cross our paths and it doesn't He does that.
32:47
It's not about outcomes, but He does 'cause people to enter our
32:50
life and cross our paths. And and I do believe that
32:53
looking back that that was a spiritual outcome is that that
32:55
we met at that time. It wasn't a coincident that that
32:58
I saw the commercial called the people knew the dollar amount.
33:00
And he gives me his business card, says come by and comes by
33:03
and see sees see him and then gives it to me.
33:06
Yeah, right. That work had to be done.
33:09
But yes, make it happen was back finding the one way to yes, was
33:13
back. I was renewed.
33:15
But I'll tell you there was something different about me
33:18
when that happened. I was quiet.
33:20
I didn't tell anybody, right? I didn't tell my well, I told a
33:24
couple of friends and I, and of course I'm thinking I write
33:28
about this in the book. I told a couple of friends.
33:29
I think I told them was a part of my recovery from the damage
33:33
they were doing to me. Tell me to shut up.
33:35
I wanted to rub it in your face. So now what led you to keep this
33:39
part quiet? Yeah, it was my experience, the
33:42
1st 2 1/2 years of everybody turning me inside out with all
33:46
the bad advice, right, That there, there are some things
33:49
bringing for me. I believe now, and I believe
33:52
then that that decisions that we make, it's really, as far as I'm
33:59
concerned, and I write about this, it is unnecessary to share
34:02
those with other people who were never going to support you in
34:05
the 1st place #1 and #2 who are not going to be on the journey
34:09
with you wherever you're going. Were you as certain with this
34:15
patent company as you were with the army and.
34:18
Yes, 100%. OK. 100% and and that's why I
34:24
was able to honestly say the OR tell my dad.
34:27
The response is that I said dad, I don't know what's going to
34:30
happen. All I know is, is that I don't
34:33
want to wake up every day, wherever I'm going to be and
34:38
wonder what could have been. I need to find out that answer.
34:42
And he was OK with that. You know, he didn't believe in
34:45
it. And that's OK.
34:46
It was really, I was really, I wanted him to, you know, I
34:49
wanted my family to believe in it, but that this was just very
34:53
different than than. And my, my, my parents had
34:56
actually tried to go out and be different in business before and
34:59
it didn't work out for them. And so I know some of that
35:02
baggage was weighing in and them seeing their son go do this for
35:07
10,000. I thought that that was a lot of
35:08
money back then, but it was for me.
35:09
It was everything that I had. Right.
35:12
But their lens was, it didn't work out for me.
35:14
I want to protect you from what could happen to you, right?
35:17
Correct, Correct. Yeah.
35:20
And so I made the, made the investment and everything was
35:22
great for several months. And then the phone calls became
35:29
fewer, the letters became fewer, the distance between voicemails
35:34
and answering machines became longer.
35:36
And then one day the phone stopped ringing and the letter
35:41
stopped and the communication stopped.
35:45
And I hadn't made any progress, had made any deals.
35:48
I'd, I'd sent a lot of letters and talked to a lot of people
35:50
and you know, nothing came about.
35:53
And then AI don't remember how. I actually don't remember how I
35:56
learned this. I don't know if it was a letter.
35:58
I think it maybe was a letter in the mail, but the federal
36:01
government shut them down for investor fraud and they had they
36:09
had something to the tune of 60 + 1,000,000 dollars in investor
36:14
fraud. Yeah, yeah.
36:18
And that was the final straw with me and the wire dog.
36:23
So now where are you now? You've you thought that this was
36:28
it. You thought this it was God
36:31
telling you that this is your next big thing, the one that's
36:35
going to solidify your place. That's right.
36:40
So then what this? This was going to be my dream.
36:43
So we go through the summer of my this is the unwinding of the
36:48
summer before my senior year in college and I enter my senior
36:54
year. I don't want to say distraught,
36:56
but certainly am I. I am back to where I was my
37:03
senior year in high school. Absolute uncertainty, no
37:07
direction. Everything that I believe was
37:10
going to happen when I left the United States Army, none of it
37:13
happened. I have no job prospects.
37:16
And So what I did my senior year was I threw myself into
37:21
studying. I found out that I was short in
37:24
hours and that the only way I was going to graduate was I was
37:28
going to have to take X number of classes my, the summer of my
37:34
before my senior year. I was going to take 18 hours the
37:38
the fall semester. I was going to have to take a
37:40
December class and 18 hours my final semester all in a row.
37:48
And of course, obviously pass everything in order to graduate
37:50
in four years. And I so, so that is in anybody
37:54
that's been to college knows that that summer school, then 18
37:57
hours, then a then a December class for three hours and 18
38:00
more. That's all I did.
38:02
I lived out of a calendar in the library, right?
38:06
And that's what I threw myself into and I had no job and was
38:12
unhappy, but being busy, right? Being busy kept me focused on
38:17
graduating, getting my degree in finance.
38:19
And just before graduation, I have another meeting.
38:26
I want to, I used to my mom was a, a director at a hospital and
38:30
management. I used to go visit her all the
38:31
time. I just happened to stop by and
38:34
see her one day. And there was a, a, a vice
38:37
president, a state director and a territory manager in medical
38:41
cells there to see her. And I just happened to cross
38:45
their paths and and they asked me to walk them down to my mom's
38:50
office. We small talked and of course
38:52
they knew things about me that they only could have gotten from
38:54
my mom. She loved talking about me and
38:55
my sister. I dropped them off, we shook
38:58
hands. That was 5 minutes.
39:00
And then later that night or afternoon, my mom says hey, come
39:03
over for dinner we need to catch up.
39:05
Mom doesn't say that unless she's got an agenda.
39:08
Right? Get over there.
39:11
And she in turn, tells me that they liked me and they wanted
39:15
off and be interested in the medical industry.
39:20
You know, I was pissy about it because that was not in my
39:23
plans. And I said sure.
39:28
And as it turns out, this company only hired athletes.
39:32
They wanted people who knew how to be competitive but to be on
39:34
the team. And that was so anyway, so
39:38
that's what happened. You know, my senior, my senior
39:40
year in college was a little bit of a replica of my senior year
39:47
in in high school. But then I had that encounter,
39:50
right? But this wasn't a commercial.
39:53
This particular encounter, encounter was face to face.
39:56
And I went through that whole interview process and those guys
39:59
told me, they said you've got, we've got 2 positions open.
40:02
One is in Dallas, TX and 1 is in Memphis, TN.
40:06
And I haven't told you this, but for my entire life, as far back
40:10
as I remember, I used to have a poster above my bed of the
40:12
Dallas skyline because I wanted to live in Dallas, TX.
40:16
And as soon as those got soon as he told me that his name was
40:19
Marty and Marty said I got 2 positions, I'd really like to go
40:21
to Memphis. And I said you have no idea how
40:23
much I respect that you want me to go to Memphis.
40:25
But I just have to be honest with you.
40:26
I've always wanted to be in Dallas my entire life.
40:28
He said it's yours. Yep.
40:33
So was that another lightning bolt?
40:34
It sure was, ma'am. It sure was because it was a
40:38
lightning bolt. And again, I get into detail
40:40
about this actually in my book about and and again, just to be
40:44
transparent here, I get into these details because I talk in
40:48
the book in detail about things like we don't have time to talk
40:51
about today, but really how our creator, right, that does have a
40:56
plan for our life. Regardless of what we think that
40:58
plan is. Our creator has a plan and that
41:01
tapestry is being woven whether we see it or not.
41:05
And, and I mentioned that because what I didn't share with
41:08
you is that right around that time of me being asked to, to be
41:15
interviewed by the vice president, the final interview
41:17
with the vice president, he said, Hey, is there a way you
41:19
can get down to Houston, TX? That's where I'm going to be and
41:22
I'll do the interview in Houston, TX.
41:24
And at the same time, my, my best friend from high school
41:29
called me up and wanted me to come down to Galveston.
41:32
And, and this girl that I was just in love with, but we
41:35
weren't dating. Her name is Michelle.
41:37
She was going to be there. It was his wife's sister.
41:43
And so, so he's asking me to come down to Galveston.
41:47
Marty's asked me to come to Houston to be interviewed for
41:50
this job in Dallas, TX, right. I saw the alignment.
41:55
I saw, you know, I saw the Providence behind that, God's
41:57
hand in that. And I didn't know what was going
42:00
to happen, but that's what I saw.
42:02
And so I went down to Houston and got the interview, and I
42:04
went down there to Galveston before that and hung out with
42:09
Michelle and the family down in Galveston Beach for a week after
42:12
I graduated from college. And we've been together ever
42:16
since. Yeah, that is, that is
42:20
incredible. So, so when it comes to God's
42:27
hand and things, you know, if you listen to show enough, you
42:31
know that what we talked about is distilling the tension
42:35
between what you've built and what you're built for.
42:38
If you're of the faith, you realize that what you're built
42:41
for is actually God's calling for you, the gifts that he gives
42:45
you and, and really his purpose in your life.
42:51
I mean, the whole goal of life, at least in my opinion, is to
42:54
figure out what you've been gifted with, what you're good
42:56
at, which aren't always the same thing early enough, so you can
43:00
actually use those gifts to make a difference in the world.
43:04
And so, you know, when I'm hearing you tell your story, I'm
43:08
hearing of what you built, you know, so you built a, a, you
43:13
know, a four year career in the military, which was monumental
43:17
in your in your identity of who you are.
43:20
And that still carries forward the make it happen mentality and
43:27
find that one person who says, yes, you know, so, so you built
43:31
all that. Tell me about, you know, what
43:37
you believe you are built for based on everything that you've
43:41
gone through 'cause we talk about the distillation process
43:45
here on Trap Clarity, which is taking raw ingredients, the mash
43:52
that brings the water and turning it into a bottle of
43:56
whiskey. Everything that has to go
43:57
through all that, including pressure and time and waiting
44:01
and all these transformative periods you've gone through your
44:07
own distillation process as you talk about in your book, as you
44:11
talk about here, how has that aligned you with what you
44:17
believe that you are built for at this moment?
44:19
Yeah. And thank you for asking that
44:20
question because that was one of the things that we really
44:22
haven't talked about that attracted me to your show is
44:25
exactly what you just articulated.
44:27
And that's also fundamentally the story behind the title of my
44:31
book, which is Wake Up to Die Again, right?
44:35
And that's got there's two sides of that.
44:38
There are people probably listening to this or that will
44:42
listen to this that are waking up every day just to die again.
44:47
They're just trying to make it through the day.
44:50
And and it's and it's endless reasons on how you get there.
44:54
But then there's another version of you that is out there when
44:57
you are doing what you were supposed to do, right?
45:01
Where to wake up and die again is a gift.
45:03
It's a gift of surrender and it's a beautiful life, right?
45:09
And so to, to say that then to come back to your question
45:11
about, you know, today versus then is it boils down to a
45:17
single sentence for me. And I preach this and I write
45:21
about this and I live this, which is this, this comment that
45:27
all of these events in my life, the the, the wire dog, you know,
45:33
the decision going, the military, all at the college,
45:36
that all of that stuff, I was chasing a different version of
45:39
myself. I was chasing what the world
45:41
told me I needed to do. I was chasing wealth and I
45:44
wanted to be recognized and I wanted to be seen as as
45:47
somebody. I didn't, I didn't want to be
45:49
the Scott of high school. I wanted people to look at that
45:52
and go, he's an inventor. But no, you know, the people I
45:55
was around in my freshman year that all they knew was the old
45:57
Scott, the one from high school, right?
46:00
And, and so those are things that you, you know, I had this
46:03
military identity, but it wasn't fully formed.
46:06
I yes, I got all these gifts, but think of a pie chart I had,
46:10
I had two pies out of the whole chart, you know, And so you
46:14
carry that, that, that stuff forward with you, the good stuff
46:16
and the bad stuff. And, and so Fast forward through
46:20
all these stories, I was chasing what the world said I needed.
46:22
I needed the world's approval. That's really, at the end of the
46:26
day, I needed the world's approval because I was not
46:30
enough for myself. And so God was leading me to
46:34
that place. One way or another, He was going
46:37
to get me to a place to where I was going to figure out that I
46:42
am enough for myself, right? And that's a special place to be
46:45
because it leads me to that sentence I was going to share
46:48
with the listeners. This is the sentence.
46:50
The more of myself I sacrifice, the more of myself I find.
46:55
And that's how I Live Today. Yeah, I love that.
46:58
I love that. And in whiskey terms, that's the
47:01
distillation process through heat.
47:07
All the stuff that is shouldn't be in the whiskey gets removed.
47:11
It simply vanishes. And that's the storyline for you
47:17
with which is what I heard, which is some of these things
47:21
you put into your ingredients, you put into the whiskey that
47:25
you thought needed to be there, but they had to come out and
47:29
order. They get burned away.
47:31
They get burned away. And then the waiting period, we
47:34
talk about this a lot, which is the waiting period is, is is a
47:38
frustrating part because you're not in control of the seasons.
47:44
You, you, you work with the cold and the heat and, and part of
47:50
you just gets evaporated away. But what's left is exactly what
47:55
you said. You have to get to this point
47:58
where you know what's left. It's there on purpose.
48:01
It is. It's there for a purpose.
48:03
It is there for a purpose. And let's let's let's play with
48:05
this just a little bit for the listeners, OK, this distillation
48:08
process for me again, not understanding it the way you're
48:15
articulating it for yourself, right?
48:18
But I understood it through my lens as as we're talking about,
48:22
I reached a point to where I began looking at myself again,
48:27
to use your words as a distillation process.
48:30
So I began looking for the pain because I knew that pain was a
48:33
gift, because pain, right is it gives me the gifts that I need.
48:39
Success gave me nothing but failure, but pain gave me all
48:43
the gifts that I need. So I began to look for that
48:45
being to look for the distillation process.
48:47
OK. And, and, and when you look for
48:50
that, your entire viewpoint changes about how you deal with
48:55
pain or how you deal with disappointments or how you
48:57
process all that. You begin, you have a
49:00
willingness to now rest in. It doesn't mean you don't have
49:03
bad days. It may be you're laying flat on
49:05
your face, crying in the floor. Those things are still going to
49:08
happen, right? But the end of the day, you're
49:11
going to, you're going to, you're going to process that and
49:13
you're going to come up with with that beautiful end product
49:16
of who you're supposed to be as a human being if you're willing
49:19
to do the hard work. Well, and that's the thing,
49:22
being willing to do it. I mean, every season has a
49:25
lesson to tell. And it's our job to be able to
49:28
not just throw ourselves on the floor and cry and complain about
49:31
it, but to ask ourselves honestly, what do I need to
49:35
learn from this season? Because there are valuable
49:38
lessons and much more lessons in failure than there are in
49:42
success. Success has a way of, of, of
49:45
taking you way behind where you're supposed to be because
49:49
you, we, we, we tend to equate success as being on the right
49:53
path and, and that's not always the case.
49:57
So allowing ourselves to learn from every season, the good and
50:01
the bad, is really what brings us to this level of significance
50:06
where we can actually reapply it in our life and the people that
50:10
we have in our lives and the projects that we work on.
50:14
Let me ask this question because you know the distillation
50:16
process far better than I do. I have another saying that I now
50:21
have developed for myself during my Iron Man training, which was
50:24
the, it's just a question, which is Scott, what are you willing
50:27
to sacrifice? And, and I'll assume in the
50:31
distillation process, you have to somewhat ask those questions,
50:36
right? Because you have to sacrifice
50:38
certain ingredients or certain, you have to sacrifice certain
50:41
things. If you know you're going to make
50:43
this type of whiskey, right? They're not all made the same to
50:46
get this flavor, to get that flavor, something has to change.
50:49
So at the beginning of the process, a decision has to be
50:52
made. If I want to get this flavor, I
50:53
want to get this outcome, I have to make a decision of what am I
50:56
willing to sacrifice. Right.
50:58
Yeah. And there's one other thing in
51:00
that whole thing in the distillation process.
51:03
I mean, let's put ourselves in the mind of the distiller.
51:06
The distiller has to make every decision.
51:08
So they are totally in control of most of the process except
51:13
for the aging, but they choose the ingredients that goes in.
51:18
Are we going to have more corn? Are we going to have more
51:20
barley? As they already have the idea of
51:23
what the outcome is supposed to be.
51:24
They know what that bottle they want it to taste like.
51:27
So they put in at the very beginning what goes in then in
51:33
the distillation process, they have to be very attentive to
51:39
when they make that sacrifice and whiskey making, it's called
51:42
making the cuts. So the first liquid that comes
51:46
out of the still, those are called the heads and that's very
51:49
bitter. It's you don't want that in your
51:52
whiskey very end is called the tails.
51:55
That's where it gets weak. And so you don't want that in
51:58
the whiskey either. So a distiller has to be very
52:01
intentional about when to make that first cut and then when
52:04
make the last cut. So all that's left is what's
52:07
called the hearts. That's the good stuff.
52:10
When it comes out of the whiskey or when it comes out of the
52:12
still, then it goes into the barrel to age.
52:17
So when you're talking about sacrifice in whiskey making,
52:20
it's sacrificing the stuff that doesn't belong.
52:22
It's going to tank the whiskey. It's going to make it a version
52:26
of itself that is never meant what it it has never.
52:30
It was never meant to be. Yeah.
52:33
And. This nation because that was the
52:35
same question that that came to me in the very early stages when
52:38
I signed up for my very first Iron Man.
52:41
I didn't tell anybody in the family.
52:43
I didn't tell any friends, coworkers at all.
52:46
And that was the question that was constantly permeating my my
52:50
mind during the first month of training as Scott.
52:53
What are you willing to sacrifice?
52:55
And I kept thinking it was about when I'm going to sacrifice TV
52:58
and I'm going to eat right. I'm a I'm a sacrifice of time.
53:01
And, and no, no, that's not what the answer.
53:03
And and my and my brain was telling me that that's not what
53:06
we're looking for. Scott.
53:07
The answer, the answer was me. I had to say that that's it was
53:12
it was an all in statement. Scott, if you, if you want to do
53:15
this, you're going to have to sacrifice yourself.
53:17
It's not about the TV you're going to do that was.
53:19
It really sacrificing you or the parts that didn't belong in the
53:23
version of you that you had visioned of what you wanted to
53:27
be. So to me, that definition is one
53:28
in the same, right? Is it when I, I know I'm saying
53:31
me in the literal sense, right? But you can't do that, right?
53:34
Is we're not talking about that in the literal sense, but
53:36
figuratively. When I say I'm sacrificing me,
53:39
it's all of those things that cannot go forward.
53:42
Because here's the beautiful thing about an Iron Man race or
53:45
training, training and the race, it will expose 100% of every
53:51
weakness. And you're going to have to
53:52
reconcile that. And the same thing has to be
53:55
true in the distillation process, the way you described
53:58
it, it's going to expose 100% of the things that you don't want
54:01
the head and the tail, right? And so I love that parallel
54:05
analogy because that's what I had to answer is what am I
54:08
willing to sacrifice? And then once I knew the answer
54:10
to that, right, then I had to make a decision.
54:15
And of course, the decision was I'm all in.
54:18
Yeah, yeah. In your book, you, hey, you.
54:22
You say at one point pain wasn't pain.
54:26
Pain wasn't just pain that hurts.
54:28
It became pain that alters. Amen.
54:31
The pain that alters. What we're talking about here,
54:34
which is the pain of not necessarily the physical pain,
54:37
but the pain of I've got to let this go, right?
54:42
1000%, yeah. That's one of the hardest things
54:45
that I think, of course, the older we get, we have baggage.
54:49
And that baggage is, I would say, I'm going to say I'm going
54:54
to describe it as it chases us, OK.
54:57
And I speak to this sometimes in public where I talk about it's
55:01
usually the very thing that's chasing you that you need to
55:04
turn around and reconcile. That's the that's that's it.
55:09
And you're you can't outrun yourself.
55:10
And the sooner you admit that and turn around and face
55:13
whatever in the crap you're running from and you reconcile
55:15
that, it no longer has power over you.
55:18
And, and I give countless examples in the book, real world
55:22
lived examples. This is not a book about what
55:25
other people did and me telling you about it.
55:27
It's the opposite of that. It's all lived examples.
55:30
I've heard this from all my beta readers, every single one of
55:32
them that has read the entire book and some that have read the
55:36
first 4 chapters have said to me, wow, I see my life in this
55:40
different set of circumstances, different set of facts.
55:42
But my gosh, you know, that's that's been a gift from them to
55:45
hear that. Yes, and I can resonate because
55:48
I'm having the same feedback, which is, you know, I'm not even
55:51
a whiskey drinker or I've never even thought about that.
55:54
But you've spoken into something that I just haven't been able to
55:58
put some words to be able to have that, which is OK.
56:03
You know, again, this distillation process is dying to
56:05
yourself. All the things that we've talked
56:07
about is different language for the same thing, which is going
56:11
back to the word alignment. We need to be aligned with who
56:15
we're created to be, our gifts and and our abilities to be able
56:20
to be that version of ourselves that is true to us and is going
56:27
to be really significant in this world.
56:31
I think most people are looking for this and I think that's why
56:34
I love this conversation about distillation.
56:36
I'm going to take that away with me after this podcast today.
56:39
But that's why I would encourage, you know, the
56:41
listeners to to dive deeper into again, whether it's through
56:46
listening to more podcasts with you or buying the book and
56:49
reading it, right? But the greatest battle on Earth
56:53
is the one we have with ourselves.
56:55
And we have that. We all have that voice in our
56:58
head that wants to tell us what we shouldn't have done and who
57:01
we think, who we are, the teacher in our ear.
57:03
You're not college material. We all have that voice.
57:06
And when we're willing to sacrifice those things to get
57:10
rid of the tail in the head, as you said, and be left with that
57:13
Hardy middle, it no longer has power over you.
57:17
And life changes not only change for you.
57:19
That is the gift to yourself, but that's also a gift to your
57:22
family, your wife, your son, your daughter, your cousins,
57:25
aunts, uncles, your neighbors and communities.
57:28
That's how we change. Yeah, and you said it yourself
57:31
in the book. You said, and I'm going to quote
57:32
here, when you build your identity on other people's
57:35
approval, emptiness becomes permanent furniture in your
57:39
brain. Amen.
57:40
So I love how you put that because we do rely on people.
57:47
We do want that affirmation. No matter how strong we are and
57:51
how confident we are, there's always someone who's has the
57:55
ability to get into our brain and to be a voice, said.
57:59
We go back to and give it a lot more credibility than it
58:02
deserves. Yeah, yeah.
58:05
And you know, I have not mastered this, but there is no
58:08
furniture in my brain for other people's opinion.
58:10
You may pass through because I had to listen to you, but you're
58:13
not staying. Yeah.
58:16
Well, Scott, this has been a great conversation.
58:19
I really appreciate you taking the time to really just share
58:25
your life, your experiences, your point of view, you know,
58:29
with us here in the in the tasting room, as we call it.
58:33
That's right. So anything you'd like to impart
58:38
on those who are listening, who are in this struggle of, you
58:42
know, am I, am I built? Am I really what I'm built for?
58:48
Am I? Am I in that place where I know
58:52
where I'm supposed to be? Yes, thank you for that platform
58:55
is, is for, for, for all of those that feel that way.
58:59
That's it's stirring in you, right?
59:02
It's, it's, it's, it's in there. And I and I really pray and hope
59:06
that you'll turn around and and look at yourself, not the world,
59:10
look at yourself. I'm going to leave you with
59:12
this. I think this goes right in
59:14
alignment with the distillation process.
59:16
I believe the world and maybe even you are trying to tell
59:25
yourself that you need more to fix what's broken inside.
59:29
And I'm going to give you something else to think about.
59:34
It was never about addition. It's always been about
59:37
subtraction. It's the things that you no
59:42
longer need, not that you need more.
59:45
And everything that you know, Stevie and I have talked about
59:47
today is, is the early parts of the book, believe it or not.
59:52
And the deeper you read in the book, the deeper the water gets.
59:57
And deep water is where the great ideas come from.
1:00:01
And deep water is where the soul resides.
1:00:04
So my challenge to the listeners is that if you are, if something
1:00:08
is stirring inside you, please consider it's about subtraction
1:00:11
in your life, not addition. And I hope I can contribute to
1:00:15
helping you on that journey. The book sounds like it's going
1:00:18
to resonate with them. We definitely want to put them
1:00:21
in, put it in their hands because it's always good to have
1:00:24
the right voices in your in in your head as we just talked
1:00:27
about so. Exactly.
1:00:30
There's a lot of parallels that, you know, we can talk all day in
1:00:34
the distillation process and yeah, I would look forward to
1:00:39
that. Well, Steve, thanks a million
1:00:40
again. I appreciate the time today.
1:00:42
Thanks, Scott. Thanks for listening to Crafted
1:00:46
Clarity. If you're a leader wrestling
1:00:48
with the tension between success and significance, or if you're
1:00:52
trying to align your work with a deeper calling, I'd love to
1:00:54
connect with you. If your organization is facing
1:00:57
questions about strategy, whether it's alignment, ROI, or
1:01:01
building confidence in your team.
1:01:03
This is the work we do every day at ibrand, and if you walk this
1:01:07
journey yourself, or maybe you're right in the middle of
1:01:09
it, I'd love to hear your story and maybe even share it here on
1:01:13
the podcast. You can find me at
1:01:15
craftclarity.net.