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When you tell a narcissist you no longer want to be with them? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about what happens What could happen when
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  you tell a narcissist you no longer want to be with them.
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  If you new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  So welcome back, welcome back, welcome back folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes. What could happen when you tell
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  a narcissist or a toxic person that you no longer want to be
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  with them? Like the relationship has met,
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  has met, came to the end of the road like boys to men in the
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  road. The relationship is over.
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  Finito kaput. You no longer want to be with
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  them. So y'all probably know.
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  This would go a few different ways.
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  So if you tell a narcissist hey, look like you, let's say you're
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  talking to me. Hey, look, Lee, it's been a
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  beautiful ride, but it's over. I know.
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  I no longer want to be with you. In my mind, my first thought is
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  that I think you have someone else that's immediately where
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  they most narcissistic people's minds are going to go.
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  They're going to go to to the thought that you have someone
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  else because it can't possibly be anything else, right?
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  It can't possibly possibly be possibly be for any other reason
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  other than you have someone else.
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  So they will automatically just sort.
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  Some of them will automatically just pop up and say, well, who
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  is he? Who is she?
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  I hope they are worth. I hope they're worth it.
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  I hope they're worth throwing your family away for.
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  I hope they're worth throwing your relationship away for.
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  Hope they're worth throwing your marriage away for.
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  They will automatically put it onto the the mindset that you
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  have someone else. Like it's impossible for them to
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  be at fault and you just be wanting to be wanting to end
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  their relationship. You automatically have to have
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  someone else, so that's where it's going to go.
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  So if you're dealing with a narcissist or toxic person, you
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  tell them that it's something like y'all.
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  Of course I'm gonna tell people this, be careful any situation.
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  Because if you tell them, they could react negatively.
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  Because just like I just said, if they think you have someone
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  else, if they think you have someone else, right.
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  If they think you want to be with someone else, they might
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  react negatively and try to go and take you up out of here.
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  They might become violent and aggressive and dangerous towards
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  you because they think you have someone else.
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  Because they think you want to be with someone else, because
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  they think you want to be around someone else.
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  You know, they think they they think that you're going to cut
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  off access to them in some way, shape or form.
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  So they might, they could react in a very violent, dangerous
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  way. So be very careful when you're
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  telling this person this. I'm not telling you not to tell
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  them. I'm not.
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  I'm not telling you to stay in a relationship with somebody you
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  don't want to be with. I'm just saying be very careful
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  when you decide to do it because you just never know how someone
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  will will react to being told that the relationship is over,
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  to being told that you no longer want to be with them.
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  You just never know how this person is going to react or how
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  this person is going to take it, right.
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  So that's very be very you have to.
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  Yeah, I'm just telling you, you have to be very careful.
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  You just have to, because if you're not very careful in these
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  circumstances or in these spaces, this what will happen?
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  They will lose their minds. They will start to harass you.
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  They become violent towards you. They'll become obsessive towards
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  you. They'll kidnap you somebody.
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  They will kidnap you, hold you hostage and not let you leave
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  the house until you change your mind.
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  So be very careful when you tell them this because some of them
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  could absolutely lose their damn minds and go ballistic.
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  You know, I'm not saying that every one of them will do that,
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  but there are some that will do that, you know, Because if you
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  tell them you no longer want to be with them and they think that
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  you're automatically going to be with someone else, yes, some of
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  them will absolutely. Just go, oh, hell no.
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  Who is he? You going to be with somebody
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  else? You'll be somewhere else other
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  than me. They can lose their stuff.
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  Y'all. So you just have to be.
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  You have to, you just have to keep it cold, have to keep it
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  cool, calm and collected, because that's where the mind
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  goes right there if you're dealing with.
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  But yeah, another way it could go, y'all, if you're dealing
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  with a narcissistic person, is that they could absolutely act
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  like they don't care. They could act like they don't
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  care. They could already have someone
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  else. They could have been doing the
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  reverse this card the whole time and wanted you to be the one
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  that leaves. So if they like, if they act
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  like they don't care and they already have someone else, they
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  wanted you to be the one to leave.
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  They wanted you to come and say, hey, I no longer want to be with
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  you because that gives them the ability to move on to someone
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  else. You see, they give them the
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  ability to just say, hey, look, you left me.
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  If your family and friend, your family and friends start asking
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  questions, they can say, yeah, they left me.
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  I'm supposed I'm supposed to sit around and wait for them.
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  No, they left me. They left me.
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  Even if, even if they already have someone else, even if
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  they've been cheating and having an affair or having somebody on
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  the side for a long time that they're ready to jump into a
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  relationship with, they can use as an excuse and say, hey, you
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  left me. You know, because some of them
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  won't fight the some of them won't try to stay with you.
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  Some of them will absolutely just hop on to the next
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  relationship. They were waiting for you to be
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  the one to let them go, you know, they were waiting for you
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  to be the one to release them. They were waiting for you to do
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  that right there. You see what I'm saying?
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  They were waiting for you in this space, in this dynamic.
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  They were waiting for you to break with them.
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  That's what the reverse discard is all about.
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  If you don't know what the reverse discard is, it's when a
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  narcissistic person starts treating you badly to the point
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  that you break up with them to the point that you don't want to
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  be with them anymore. They start treating you so badly
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  that you end the relationship. Even though they want out, they
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  want to end the relationship. They just put it on to you to be
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  the one to end it, so they can have the excuse to say, hey,
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  that you left me. They can play the victim and
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  whatnot because some of them will not act, will act like they
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  don't care that you left, then that you leave it.
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  They'll hop into a new relationship.
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  They seem so happy already. I broke up with them and they're
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  already in the new relationship. That'll leave you kind of
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  feeling weird. If you break up with them and
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  they automatically in a new relationship, it'll make you
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  start asking, asking questions like, damn, you moved on pretty
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  fast. Was this person always around?
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  A lot of times they were. A lot of times.
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  The narcissist's new supply isn't as new as you think they
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  are, you know, isn't as new as you think they are.
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  That's why I'm just saying in in space right here like isn't as
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  new as they think they are the new supplies all day round.
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  So they they there's those are two ways they can go, like you
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  tell the narcissist you want to leave them.
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  They could just lose their minds and just start going crazy.
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  They could act like they don't care or they could just be
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  become a super apologetic y'all and try to work on things and
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  become the person you want them to become.
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  They could automatically, really fast change their behaviours of
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  very quickly in order to get you right.
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  They can just start do they can start a new love bombing
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  process. If you telling them that you
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  want to leave could start a whole new love bombing process,
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  a whole new love bomb. It could set up a whole new love
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  bomb. It could light the fuse on a
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  love bomb, right? It could absolutely do that
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  because if they're not ready for you to leave, they could turn it
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  on, yes. They might also think that you
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  have someone else. So they might try to lay it on
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  thick, right? They might try to lay it on
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  thick for you with you in order to be a part.
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  Like in order to keep this as part of your life, to stay a
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  part of your life. They're not ready to let you go.
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  They don't have a new supply. Or even if they do have a new
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  supply, they don't want to leave you.
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  They don't want to lose access to you.
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  So they will. Hey, how?
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  Go to therapy. They'll pull out all the stops.
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  I'll go to therapy. I'll do whatever you want.
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  I'll work on. I'll work on us.
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  What is it going to take for you to give me another chance?
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  And they'll start telling you everything that you want to
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  hear, right? They will absolutely start
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  telling you every single thing that you want to hear.
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  Because why wouldn't they? Why wouldn't they tell you
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  everything that you want to hear?
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  If they still want you, why wouldn't they?
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  That's why I just tell people. They said they told me
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  everything that I wanted to hear.
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  Of course that. Yeah, of course they did.
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  Why wouldn't they? They told you everything that
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  you wanted to hear. Of course they did.
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  Why wouldn't they? Like, they they they want to
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  keep you. They're going to start telling
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  you stuff that you want to hear. But like, that's why I tell
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  people I hear y'all this is how you know it's manipulation.
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  Because you don't even have to tell them to say it.
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  You don't even have to tell them to start doing the things that
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  you want them to do. They the fact that they can
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  automatically start doing those things without you telling them
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  says a lot. The fact that they they can
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  automatically start doing those things without you bringing up
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  that you want them to do it without you mentioning it shows
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  you that they can. They can turn it on and off,
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  that they knew how to make you happy the entire time, and they
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  chose not to until they feel like they needed to.
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  They treat you badly until they feel like they need to treat you
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  good for a little while to keep you there.
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  So when you tell them that you're ready to leave and you're
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  done with them, all of a sudden they turn on.
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  It's like a light switch. All of a sudden the lights go
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  back. All of a sudden, the lights.
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  Look, the lights have been went off in the relationship, right?
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  All of a sudden. Hey, look, I'm leaving you.
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  All of a sudden, the lights come back on.
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  This all it took. Well, I didn't know what I had
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  until I lost it. They knew what they had.
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  They just didn't think they would ever lose it.
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  They didn't think that you would ever leave them.
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  That's what it is right there. They knew what they had.
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  They knew how valuable you were to them.
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  And they just didn't think that you would ever leave them.
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  So now that you want to leave them here going to on switch,
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  they turn the lights on. But just like the lights went
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  off the first time, they'll eventually go back off.
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  This is a love being in a relation with the narcissist,
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  with that light bulb situation. It's like a having a flickering
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  light bulb. It's a flickering light bulb.
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  It's flickering on and off, right?
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  It's flickering on and off, on and off, on and off.
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  There's no continuation on how to how to move forward with it.
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  You know, of course they're going to tell you everything
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  that you want to hear because they say they feel like that's
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  what you want to hear. They're going to do everything
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  you want them to do without you asking.
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  Hey, I'll go to couples counseling.
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  Hey, I'll go to the marriage and I'll say what?
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  No, y'all. No, no, no, no.
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  Now it is over. It's done and over with.
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  Now they want to do it. Now they want to do it.
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  No, you don't have to allow them access to you if you just not if
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  that's not what you want to do. Y'all.
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  You have the power to say no. You have the strength to say no.
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  So when you tell them that you when you go to tell them that
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  you're ready to be done with them, make sure that you're
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  ready to be done with them, make sure that you're ready.
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  You're not just saying words to try to get them to change their
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  behaviors because it worked before, You know, make sure that
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  you're ready to be done with them and make sure that you have
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  a backup plan set in place and a plan of safety because some of
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  these people will take you on up out of here.
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  Well, Lee, what do you mean by take you on up out of here?
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  I mean to send you to meet God, meet your maker before your time
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  below so the narcissistic people, they won't access to
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  you. So they could react a few
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  different ways. Y'all they could lose their damn
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  minds. They could just act like they
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  don't care. They can try to love on you
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  again. And some of them don't believe
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  you. In closing, some of them don't
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  believe you. Some of them won't change how
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  they treated you because they don't think you're going to
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  leave. Even when you tell them that
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  you're going to leave, that you're not.
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  You're not resigning the lease. That you sign the lease by
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  yourself, that you have movie trucks coming.
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  They don't believe you. They won't believe you until
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  you're gone. And then they might try to.
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  Then they might try to act like they're sad and stuff like that.
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  I'm so sad without you here. I can't believe you left.
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  Blah blah blah Boo Boo Boo BBB. At the end of the day, this is
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  how it's going to go. Y'all.
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  So power up. Take care of yourselves.
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  Be safe. Make sure you subscribe to the
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  channel. Y'all.
• 11:34
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  It's about the seven stages of a narcissistic relationship.
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  Enter the code. Lee 10 for 10% off.
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  LE E10 for 10% off. Thank you so much.
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  Mental illnesses up. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
• 12:11
  for being here. If you haven't already, make
• 12:13
  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
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  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
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• 12:23
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• 12:25
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
• 12:26
  video. Peace.