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WHAT CELEBRITY DO YOU WANNA FUCK? LOOK ON THE MASTERBATION WALL, SLUT! · CALL ME MISTRESS

• 0:08
  Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
• 0:12
  I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and today I've got with me Kinky
• 0:15
  Kylie. Yeah.
• 0:17
  Hey, Kylie. Hi, Mia.
• 0:21
  We've had an interesting day today.
• 0:23
  We. Did we had?
• 0:24
  Brunch with some unknown names we're not going to mention.
• 0:29
  A lot of fun a. Lot of fun.
• 0:31
  We had mimosas and shrimp and we had egg salad on toast.
• 0:38
  Avocado. Yeah, so bougie.
• 0:41
  Yes, I know you. Didn't eat it but.
• 0:43
  Point of it is Kylie, you had the option to eat.
• 0:45
  It the option, she's not over here just starving me.
• 0:48
  I just didn't want to eat it. Could.
• 0:51
  You imagine, you know, I've done this before with one of my
• 0:54
  slaves. I'll have them sit on the floor
• 0:56
  and say this is so good, you're really missing out.
• 1:01
  Imagine what people were with today doing that too.
• 1:04
  Now I have a slave that's coming over today.
• 1:06
  OK, he he went to go get a pedicure.
• 1:09
  I told him he needs to go get a fucking wax because he decided
• 1:13
  last night to send me pictures of the two new chastity devices
• 1:17
  that he bought. And he's got a little Dick and
• 1:20
  he's compacted this little Dick and gross little balls into a
• 1:24
  chastity. And he's got what I always call
• 1:27
  wiry ball hair sticking out. And it's grey because he's
• 1:31
  older. And I told him I don't like
• 1:33
  that, you know, I feel about wiry ball hair.
• 1:37
  Yeah. So anyway, so you're going to
• 1:39
  need him today, OK. And he's going to come over and
• 1:43
  be a good, diligent slave and work on my laptop and do things
• 1:48
  that he needs to do properly. OK.
• 1:51
  Right, so you can boss him around and tell him how
• 1:53
  worthless and pathetic he is and spit on him.
• 1:55
  I don't do that. It's fun though, she.
• 2:00
  Acts like I just do this all the.
• 2:01
  Time. Yeah, well, you were.
• 2:03
  Really. You're a pro.
• 2:05
  With that cutie that we had that, what was his name?
• 2:08
  Jesse. But you were so good with Jesse.
• 2:10
  Thank you. Yeah, he was awesome.
• 2:12
  I can't wait for him to come back.
• 2:14
  Yeah, I we really haven't heard much from him.
• 2:17
  Recently, No, He called me and Jesse does little, little things
• 2:22
  that are a little unconventional.
• 2:24
  Yeah. And yeah, his job is a little
• 2:26
  bit a little sticky with the law.
• 2:29
  Yeah, yeah, just a little. He's a law breaker.
• 2:32
  A little little syrupy there. But he's so sweet and he's
• 2:36
  really sexy. I think he's just adorable.
• 2:38
  It really is. But cute.
• 2:40
  He's yeah, Yeah, he's cute. Yeah.
• 2:43
  OK. I don't know.
• 2:46
  Yeah. There's always something isn't
• 2:47
  that interesting when you have that initial attraction to
• 2:50
  someone. It's like there's something that
• 2:53
  just resonates with you that you're immediately like, boom.
• 2:57
  Like you're drawn to him in a way that you can say, oh fuck
• 3:01
  yeah. He's he's just so hot.
• 3:02
  He's so sexy. But then other times you're
• 3:04
  like, you just kind of narrow it down to you go from a like a 910
• 3:09
  being the highest number down to like A7, like, Oh yeah, you
• 3:13
  know, he's attractive. Yeah, you know, yeah.
• 3:18
  And then you narrow it down to, Oh yeah, he's he's kind of cute.
• 3:20
  That's a 5, He's cute. And then a three, like, yeah,
• 3:25
  he's really unattractive. Your skill is very different
• 3:30
  from mine when it comes to men. It's like. 5 is about as high as
• 3:33
  they usually get with me. Oh fuck I.
• 3:36
  Mean. Guys, you're in trouble with
• 3:37
  poor Kylie. I don't really find any.
• 3:40
  I mean, there's very few like even actors and like models and
• 3:42
  shit. And I'm just like, yeah,
• 3:43
  they're. OK, why don't we talk about
• 3:46
  this? Let's do this.
• 3:48
  OK, so the interesting thing is, who do you think would be your
• 3:54
  celebrity crush? Both male and female.
• 3:58
  Male. That's hard.
• 4:00
  You gotta come up, come up with top threes.
• 4:03
  Let's do that. But The thing is, it's like, I
• 4:05
  like them for the personality, just not because they're hot
• 4:07
  like. Me, would you Fuck Kylie.
• 4:10
  Don't make this complicated. Ryan Reynolds seems a little
• 4:13
  snobby because he's married to a bitch.
• 4:15
  Oh. I know, but God is she
• 4:17
  beautiful. I do both of them.
• 4:19
  It's. Fine.
• 4:19
  OK. All right.
• 4:20
  We're good there. OK.
• 4:22
  Yeah, she ain't got to leave. It's fine, OK.
• 4:25
  You like them bitchy I. Do I do like them bitchy?
• 4:28
  You'd be like Ryan, fuck me. While her.
• 4:30
  Pussy just push my head down into.
• 4:32
  Exactly. Yeah, exactly.
• 4:33
  It would be great. Yeah, man, I need to arrange
• 4:36
  that shit. Maybe not with him too, but with
• 4:38
  somebody, right? I do like Ryan Reynolds.
• 4:42
  I'm running out of men here, really.
• 4:45
  OK, well, you like Marvel, I mean.
• 4:48
  Yeah, OK. Now I will say Jeremy Renner, he
• 4:50
  plays Hawkeye. And he is a really.
• 4:53
  He is a very handsome guy. He's.
• 4:55
  Nice. I don't think he's really
• 4:56
  handsome, but. I think he's.
• 4:58
  I think he's kind of basic, honestly.
• 5:00
  OK, well disagree. I showed Kylie a picture of our
• 5:04
  crossdresser that decided to kidnap in the back of her car.
• 5:08
  Yeah, he's got his different kids on.
• 5:10
  They were very. Sweet.
• 5:11
  Yeah. He's so cute.
• 5:12
  I met him outside before he came in.
• 5:14
  He was sweet. He thought I was Abby.
• 5:16
  Funny. OK.
• 5:18
  Yeah, he got out of his car and he's like, are you Abby?
• 5:19
  I'm like, no, I'm Kylie, but I'll let me know you're here.
• 5:22
  Right. But yeah, no, let's see.
• 5:26
  OK, so Jeremy Renner, I'm Ryan Reynolds.
• 5:29
  All right, anyone dead that you would fuck when they were alive?
• 5:34
  I'm not trying to be morbid but I mean just a valid point.
• 5:38
  Nothing I could think of Elvis, no.
• 5:41
  Oh my God. OK, I didn't think Elvis was all
• 5:44
  that hot. Oh my.
• 5:45
  What I. Don't really think he was all
• 5:47
  that hot. Wow.
• 5:48
  OK, I don't know. What about the guy who played
• 5:51
  Elvis? The actor?
• 5:54
  Oh, he's beautiful. OK, what else?
• 5:56
  Jesus, Gosh. OK, I.
• 6:00
  Don't know I'm gonna think of like any that I've just been
• 6:04
  like oh, Taylor Lautner absolutely all day long long
• 6:08
  hair, short hair, it don't matter.
• 6:10
  That man back when he looked like early Jacob was was
• 6:14
  phenomenal, but late Jacob was even better when he got that
• 6:16
  short hair and he got all muscle late.
• 6:18
  Oh, he was so gorgeous, You. Know how you're attracted to
• 6:20
  him. He looks like you.
• 6:22
  He does look like yeah, he does. He does have similar features
• 6:25
  to. It he has the the round face,
• 6:28
  the cute little nose. Yeah, he's, he's small featured,
• 6:31
  but he does. Yeah, he has a lot of recessive
• 6:33
  jeans like I do. Yeah, I show a lot of recessive
• 6:35
  jeans. Yeah, I've tried down a lot of
• 6:37
  my jeans. You know why?
• 6:38
  But yes, he, you know what? Yeah.
• 6:43
  But I show premier primarily recessive jeans.
• 6:47
  My fingers, my toes, my ears, my hair's dominant.
• 6:50
  My eyes are mutation, my lips are recessive.
• 6:53
  Like a lot of my St. jeans are recessive.
• 6:55
  And he also shows a lot of recessive jeans in him, like a
• 6:58
  lot of his she like a lot of his makeup, like his physicality is
• 7:01
  recessive. OK.
• 7:03
  So yeah, he does kind of look like me a little bit.
• 7:05
  I wouldn't say I'm as hot as him, but we do have
• 7:07
  similarities. OK.
• 7:09
  But he's he's hot. I'll give it, man, any day of
• 7:12
  the week. You know?
• 7:14
  He's married to a girl named Taylor.
• 7:16
  OK. Yeah.
• 7:17
  They're both Taylor Lautner legally.
• 7:19
  Wow, yeah, that's funny shit. Yeah, it was super cool.
• 7:22
  I remember him doing an interview about it not too long
• 7:24
  ago. But yeah.
• 7:26
  That's really funny. Yeah, I have to check out a
• 7:29
  picture of her. That's pretty interesting.
• 7:30
  I've never seen a. Picture of her.
• 7:32
  I've never liked him. Really.
• 7:34
  Isn't that funny? It's interesting.
• 7:36
  Yeah, I love it. I was always team Jacob, always
• 7:39
  team Jacob. But I was also team Jacob for
• 7:41
  the other reason of he's more bitchy than Edward.
• 7:44
  You know, he's more assertive than Edward is.
• 7:47
  Edward's kind of like, yeah, whatever.
• 7:50
  You know, we can't. And now.
• 7:53
  But Jacob's like, no, we're going to do this.
• 7:55
  We're going to do it now. Wow, He's more assertive.
• 7:59
  Well, he's got a pretty wife. She looks interesting, but she's
• 8:03
  she kind of looks like Brie. She's got a big old chin.
• 8:05
  She's pretty. All women are pretty.
• 8:10
  Oh my God. Wow.
• 8:13
  Right, right. OK.
• 8:16
  She's not. She's competing there.
• 8:18
  I gotta say there's definitely competition there.
• 8:21
  Yeah. It's interesting he's he's much
• 8:24
  prettier than her. All right, so which women would
• 8:28
  you like to fuck? The top three?
• 8:30
  Elizabeth Olsen, Scarlett Johansson.
• 8:32
  OK. Hold on back up, who's Elizabeth
• 8:34
  Olsen again? Hey, Elizabeth Olsen is Wanda
• 8:37
  Maximoff and Marv. Yes, she's gorgeous.
• 8:39
  Elizabeth Chase Olsen. She was born February 16th.
• 8:43
  You know way too much about her. You need to stop.
• 8:46
  OK, I know so much about this. All right, weirdo, I know how
• 8:48
  many siblings she has, where she grew up.
• 8:50
  I know way more about this woman than I show because she's.
• 8:52
  Related to the Olsen twins, yes. She's their sister.
• 8:55
  She. Looks like them she does with
• 8:57
  dark hair. Yep, she's OK.
• 8:59
  She's fucking gorgeous and you know what you're talking about
• 9:01
  anyways. Oh, I know what she looks like.
• 9:04
  That's gorgeous. Elizabeth Olsen, then Scarlett
• 9:05
  Johansson. She plays Natasha Romenoff.
• 9:07
  Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett Johansson.
• 9:09
  'S very percent, yeah. Very.
• 9:11
  Yeah, she's very known. She's she's been modeling for
• 9:13
  years. OK, who else?
• 9:15
  Gorgeous woman. I don't want to talk too easily,
• 9:17
  but third one's hard because, like, there's so many.
• 9:20
  I mean, you have Jennifer Love Hewitt's beautiful, Zendaya
• 9:23
  Coleman's beautiful. She did a movie here recently,
• 9:26
  Madam Webb, which is a Marvel movie well done by Sony because
• 9:29
  of Spider Man's rights and everything.
• 9:31
  But she did that movie and a lot of people wouldn't watch it just
• 9:33
  be purely based because she was the lead.
• 9:35
  OK, Yeah. Which really sucked.
• 9:36
  I hate that. I hate the fans that did that.
• 9:38
  I was like, Madam Webb is a good character, or she was in the
• 9:40
  comics. I haven't seen the movie yet,
• 9:42
  but it was, you know, good in the comics.
• 9:44
  But then she gets into the live action.
• 9:47
  They're like, no, because it's Dakota Johnson.
• 9:49
  And I'm like, she's beautiful and talented.
• 9:51
  Leave us alone. OK, enough women, Johnson.
• 9:53
  We we get Jodie Comer Good she's.
• 9:56
  Gonna make you come a lot I get. Jodie Comer.
• 9:59
  Jodie Comer plays a lesbian in a lot of her shows.
• 10:02
  She her mate, one of her bigger ones was Killing Eve and she
• 10:07
  played Villanelle and Villanelle was a lesbian for Eve, which was
• 10:10
  the main character. Their love story was freaking
• 10:12
  epic. It was toxic because I'll get
• 10:13
  out, but it was epic. And then she also did one here
• 10:15
  recently, the newest movie she did, she actually did with Ryan
• 10:17
  Reynolds. They were now Ryan Reynolds and
• 10:20
  her were a couple with it was a it was called new guy.
• 10:22
  I'll never ever seen it. But Ryan Reynolds played the
• 10:24
  main character of the video game and she played the main
• 10:27
  character in the real world. Yes, she had it was amazing.
• 10:30
  I love her. She actually her dad told her
• 10:32
  how to use different accents with growing up.
• 10:35
  OK. And so that's why she's able to
• 10:36
  do so many different accents because like if you ever hear
• 10:38
  her do Russian or French or any of those other actions she does,
• 10:42
  those are her real voice. She learned it when she was a
• 10:44
  child, like her father told her how to do that when she was
• 10:46
  younger. Nice.
• 10:47
  Super cool. Yeah, super cool.
• 10:49
  I love her. I don't think I could choose a
• 10:51
  third because there's just so many gorgeous women that I would
• 10:54
  be like absolutely amazing personalities.
• 10:57
  Yet when you go off on a little tangent like that, your your
• 11:02
  voice, yeah. All right, all right.
• 11:08
  Okay, so you've listened to podcast before and I've always
• 11:11
  said Eminem, Marshall Mathers, he's like a number one for me.
• 11:16
  Eminem. Eminem, yeah, okay.
• 11:18
  I think he's a total sub. Most definitely, yeah.
• 11:21
  I could really show him so many things.
• 11:25
  I'd love to die. Marshall Mathers up in my
• 11:28
  dungeon. See until this.
• 11:29
  Very moment I didn't know his real name.
• 11:31
  I just only knew Eminem. Jesus.
• 11:33
  God, OK under a rock. Hey shiny 99 Scott, this is
• 11:38
  exactly what we're talking about.
• 11:40
  I could tell you where I was when his record first came out.
• 11:43
  His first album and I drove 3 hours to get it.
• 11:46
  Damn. Yeah, I've always loved Yeah,
• 11:48
  he's. A good musician.
• 11:49
  Oh, he's incredible. He's amazing.
• 11:51
  Yeah, he's incredible. Yeah, I love his music.
• 11:53
  Yeah, I loved him. I still love him anyway.
• 11:56
  He's he's a sub and I would I would wear his ass out.
• 11:58
  I would fuck the fuck out of him in every possible way I could
• 12:02
  possibly I would do it. I don't care what size his Dick
• 12:04
  is, I don't care about any of that.
• 12:06
  I would fuck him in every aspect.
• 12:11
  Oh my God your screensaver. Fucking weirdo.
• 12:14
  Screensaver is the Dosh Romanoff at the moment.
• 12:17
  Oh my God. Wow.
• 12:19
  You know Kylie, listeners who do not realize this.
• 12:23
  Kylie told me the last time she came over last week that she was
• 12:28
  going to have a wall full of beautiful women.
• 12:31
  And I do, I have next to my bed. I printed out 18 pictures of
• 12:36
  beautiful women and I put them on my wall.
• 12:39
  All but 4 ended up in my bedroom.
• 12:40
  Four of them it just like the way that I needed.
• 12:42
  I was putting them up. It just didn't look good with
• 12:44
  all all 18. So I put the other 4 on my
• 12:47
  fridge. But yeah no I have 4 beautiful
• 12:49
  women in my fridge and I have 1414 people beautiful women on
• 12:53
  my wall. OK, I do.
• 12:55
  Anticipate on who's on that wall.
• 12:57
  I have a. Picture I can show you?
• 12:58
  Yeah. Do you want to see who it is?
• 12:59
  Yes. Please, it could be like your
• 13:01
  masturbation wall. OK, let's not look at this.
• 13:04
  It's your masturbation wall. You turn around and you're like.
• 13:07
  Oh. God damn.
• 13:10
  Yeah, what's funny is everyone I just listed is on there just
• 13:13
  about. Nice.
• 13:15
  Yes, Nice. Yeah.
• 13:17
  It's and I. See who's up there too?
• 13:19
  I see you. I saw the top right corner
• 13:24
  immediately. Boom, I know, you said.
• 13:27
  Fuck. I gotta talk about it, just have
• 13:34
  the knowledge in one way. Oh, I will.
• 13:36
  I will. But no, yes, I did do copies of
• 13:40
  some of them. Like there's two of Jodi Kummer
• 13:42
  and then there's two of one of the other of two of the other
• 13:45
  girls. So they're not all like 14
• 13:47
  different women, but sure. I gotcha.
• 13:49
  I appreciate the artistic touch. I think that's sweet.
• 13:52
  I think it's I think it's endearing.
• 13:53
  Yeah, it. Looks good up there.
• 13:54
  Yeah, it's. Your masturbation while pervert.
• 13:56
  It's all masturbation, while we're going to call it that.
• 13:58
  It's just on my bed where I happened to masturbate.
• 14:00
  So that's why I didn't put people I know, because it's
• 14:03
  because I'm masturbating the bed.
• 14:04
  I was like, I'm not putting people I know.
• 14:06
  But. Characters we don't.
• 14:11
  I bet. OK so dead celebrities that I
• 14:14
  would fuck I always loved and this is before your time.
• 14:16
  God help me. Johnny Depp's best friend at the
• 14:20
  time was River Phoenix. River Phoenix played in several
• 14:25
  like 80s movies he starred in. If this helps you because you're
• 14:30
  a big nerd, Raiders of the Law * He was the kid.
• 14:33
  Not the Asian, but the white kid with the blonde hair.
• 14:35
  Gotcha, gotcha. Lover of Phoenix because when I
• 14:38
  was a kid, when I was, you know, preteen, he was a little older
• 14:42
  than me, but he was an addict. He died of a heroin overdose and
• 14:47
  died in front of Johnny Depp's club at the time on Hollywood
• 14:51
  Blvd. But he was beautiful, beautiful
• 14:53
  skin, beautiful hair, just a beautiful man.
• 14:56
  And he's joke on Phoenix's brother who played the Joker
• 15:00
  that was his brother in. Which movie?
• 15:01
  There's been like 6 jokers. OK, well, the good one.
• 15:05
  Well, the dark one, the mental health.
• 15:08
  OK, OK, I got you guys. Yeah, I know which one you're
• 15:10
  talking. About so you know, he played
• 15:12
  Johnny Cash. I mean, he was amazing in that
• 15:14
  one too. You didn't watch that?
• 15:15
  Jesus Christ. Anyway, you're missing out.
• 15:19
  Besides the Marble films, you mess out on a lot of good
• 15:22
  movies. Just saying.
• 15:24
  But yeah, River Phoenix. Dead.
• 15:26
  I would fuck him. Elvis, Elvis.
• 15:29
  You could tell he was dominant. I would not have any interest in
• 15:33
  being his sub. He had a foot fetish.
• 15:35
  And yeah, he had a foot fetish. Average sized penis from what
• 15:40
  we've heard, but. And you say, I know a lot of
• 15:42
  information about Elizabeth Olsen.
• 15:44
  I don't know shit about that stuff.
• 15:46
  Well, again, before your time always.
• 15:51
  I've always loved Elvis. I have on our tangent.
• 15:55
  You know, Kylie, what I was going to do is put on our dry
• 15:58
  erase board. I was going to put alternative
• 16:00
  words that you and I should use that we never say and put them
• 16:05
  on there. So that way if we were to fuck
• 16:07
  up and say a word that or a phrase that we have a typical
• 16:11
  way of saying in in our terminology when we shouldn't,
• 16:15
  then I was saying, hey, we need to use one of those words.
• 16:18
  Yeah, Yeah. We just need to incorporate new
• 16:20
  words in our vocabulary. People are getting tired of
• 16:23
  hearing the same 10 words used in different ways.
• 16:25
  Maybe, maybe, maybe, I don't know.
• 16:30
  Guys, are you getting tired of hearing Ultimately, Fuck you
• 16:34
  Kylie? Fuck you.
• 16:37
  Figure that one a lot too, man. They do.
• 16:41
  And for good reason, but not not directed at you, Kylie.
• 16:47
  Directed at me a. Lot.
• 16:48
  No, not well, just then it was, but usually it's at other
• 16:52
  people, other people that act like assholes, you know,
• 16:57
  seriously now, let's see. So Elvis River, Phoenix, then,
• 17:02
  Like I said, Eminem, top of the line.
• 17:03
  You know, I really can't even think about anyone who's like a
• 17:06
  young hot celebrity other than Austin Butler, who played Elvis.
• 17:09
  Amazing, amazing. You don't have a thing for Tom
• 17:12
  Hiddleston. I think I Tom Holland's
• 17:15
  adorable. That's what I meant.
• 17:16
  I meant Tom Holland. OK, Hiddleston.
• 17:17
  No, Hiddleston's a little more masculine for you, but but Tom
• 17:20
  Holland is, is pretty feminine. Oh, yeah.
• 17:22
  Cute and little and feminine. That's like, right up your
• 17:25
  alley. Oh, yeah, totally is.
• 17:26
  And probably very fucking submissive, that boy.
• 17:28
  Oh yeah, yeah, please. Adorable.
• 17:30
  He's, he's married to, I don't know they're married yet, but I
• 17:33
  know he's engaged to Zendaya now at least engaged.
• 17:35
  He might be married, I don't know.
• 17:36
  But she's very always been very assertive.
• 17:38
  She does a lot like she was a scene because she was on Disney
• 17:41
  originally. Like she was a Disney star
• 17:43
  growing up. I'm aware we do not need to tell
• 17:45
  the people this. This is a BSM podcast.
• 17:47
  We're talking about sex and fucking.
• 17:49
  We're not talking. She had a career with the Disney
• 17:52
  Channel and she was on this Marvel movie Andy Baby.
• 17:55
  She was on the Marvel. Actually she was on the Marvel
• 17:57
  movie. Technically she was on Soulmate.
• 17:59
  She was in Marvel. Here she's going again, she
• 18:02
  says. We're talking about who we would
• 18:04
  want to fuck. OK, well stick to.
• 18:07
  That stick to that anyway. Oh my God.
• 18:13
  OK, here's the other you had a Ryan Reynolds.
• 18:16
  I don't find him attractive. I say Ryan Gosling.
• 18:19
  Now granted he's married. I want him pre married.
• 18:21
  He has a weird body. Not all that hot.
• 18:24
  To me, but it's his face that's so adorable.
• 18:26
  It's like he has his man hips. I don't like the man hips he.
• 18:29
  Like on feminine, I like going to be somewhat like, if I'm
• 18:32
  going to go masculine, I want him to be masculine, you know?
• 18:35
  Yeah, yeah. No, not me.
• 18:36
  Yeah. I don't get the masculine.
• 18:38
  I'm going to relationship. I'm the man in the relationship.
• 18:42
  There you go. Yeah, Yeah.
• 18:43
  No, but The thing is, though, I don't find, like, Ryan Reynolds,
• 18:47
  like, super hot, like to look at, but he's very talented.
• 18:50
  He's very funny. That's like, well, I'm attracted
• 18:52
  to him. I've seen everything he's played
• 18:54
  in. Like I spent an entire summer
• 18:55
  just watching every movie that he had ever played in.
• 18:57
  I'm sure, I'm sure you. Did I did.
• 19:00
  Doesn't surprise me I. Did and there's there's a lot of
• 19:02
  cool things I could tell you. I'm gonna tell you a podcast
• 19:04
  because apparently we're talking about 6:00, but I'll tell you
• 19:06
  about some stuff later. Yeah, I'm looking.
• 19:09
  Forward to it. I didn't tell you some like cool
• 19:11
  stuff about his movies that you might not have realized.
• 19:13
  Oh my God. OK, we can get into that.
• 19:17
  But in the meantime. Like Oh my goodness, she needs
• 19:21
  to go home. Oh good, no, I'm thinking God
• 19:24
  she needs to watch some new movies.
• 19:26
  Or some really. Old ones that are good for the.
• 19:28
  80s I watched Popeye for you. Yeah, I've done.
• 19:33
  Did you? Did you like it?
• 19:34
  It was pretty good. I will say one of the funniest
• 19:36
  scenes was the tax scene. That was hilarious.
• 19:38
  What was it? The taxes where he had to pay
• 19:40
  the taxes when he first got? Oh yeah, yeah, that was so
• 19:42
  accurate. Yeah.
• 19:43
  So funny. Oh my gosh, I loved it that.
• 19:45
  Was that movie made Robin Williams?
• 19:47
  It made him. See, I love Robin Williams from
• 19:50
  Mrs. Doubtfire. From Duff Bauer was one of them.
• 19:52
  Yeah. Love Mrs. Doubtfire, but the
• 19:54
  other one, I was thinking it didn't he play?
• 19:55
  Maybe not. His.
• 19:57
  He wasn't. It was.
• 19:57
  His sitcom initially was Mork and Mindy.
• 20:00
  No, it was amazing. That was really good.
• 20:02
  When I've never seen that, I don't watch that.
• 20:03
  He was. An alien.
• 20:05
  It was adorable. I.
• 20:06
  Don't like Alien? No, not at the museum.
• 20:08
  Oh. Yeah, that was Sweet Museum, it
• 20:10
  is. Older, newer ones.
• 20:11
  Yeah, that was. Good at the museum.
• 20:13
  It was Teddy Roosevelt. Yeah, he was Teddy Roosevelt
• 20:15
  that that's coming from. That was like my favorite movie
• 20:17
  he was ever in. But Mrs. Doubtfire was really
• 20:19
  good too. Robin Williams played in so many
• 20:21
  great movies. He was.
• 20:23
  He was incredible. OK, back to people we would
• 20:25
  fuck. Jesus, God.
• 20:30
  Let's just give the audience a few more minutes of who we would
• 20:33
  fuck. OK, so all right, Kylie, if you
• 20:36
  had Taylor Lautner for one night, what the fuck would you
• 20:38
  do to him? It's not what I would do to him,
• 20:41
  it's what he what I let him do to me.
• 20:43
  Oh. OK, now look, that man is
• 20:46
  masculine, and you know his manhandle probably damn good.
• 20:50
  I mean, if you want to throw me around a little bit, I'm not
• 20:52
  gonna complain. You know what I'm?
• 20:54
  Saying it's you. I just throw me around a little
• 20:57
  bit for a couple minutes. And I immediately think, Oh
• 20:59
  yeah, I want, I'm gonna see you fucking with the strap on, but
• 21:02
  you're like, no, I'm gonna roughhouse me.
• 21:05
  Let him roughhouse me like see. Baby.
• 21:08
  Hell yeah. Pin me down and take it.
• 21:11
  Fuck yeah with those muscles in it.
• 21:15
  I don't need my hands for shit. That's fine.
• 21:17
  That's awesome. That's what I would, absolutely.
• 21:20
  You know, we had a guy Barbie was totally head over for.
• 21:24
  He came into the dungeon one night to play and he was a total
• 21:28
  fucking like Samoan beast. And she ate that shit.
• 21:31
  Oh, so just saying. I mean, if there's some sexy
• 21:36
  motherfucker for cutting. Some muscly man wants to throw
• 21:39
  me around. I'm not going to complain pill.
• 21:42
  I don't even need the sex part. Just throw me around a little
• 21:44
  bit, put her clothes back on and go on about our day.
• 21:46
  I don't even need the sex shit. All right, I like this.
• 21:50
  Now the the script is flipped. What woman would you want to
• 21:55
  have to do? Like, first and foremost, who
• 21:58
  you'd want to fuck. I mean, I think if I went with
• 22:01
  like, I think it would depend on who I went with.
• 22:03
  Because like if I went with like Scarlett Johansson, it would be
• 22:05
  another like I would be very servitude to her.
• 22:08
  Just do whatever she wanted me to do in every aspect.
• 22:10
  Not necessarily like the roughhouse and rough shit, but
• 22:12
  like just whatever she wanted me to do.
• 22:14
  I'd just be her little helper. I would just be involved in her
• 22:17
  every day. But if it was Elizabeth Olsen, I
• 22:19
  think I'd have to pull out my old like vanilla romance card.
• 22:22
  I'd have to be like the old, like, well, I don't say old, but
• 22:26
  like vanilla like, you know, the sweet lovey dovey I care about
• 22:31
  you kind of sex. Yeah.
• 22:33
  I think I'd had the link kink out of it for her.
• 22:35
  I'd had to be like straight vanilla.
• 22:37
  I wouldn't get anything out of it, but I know that she would
• 22:40
  because she just seems like the type that wouldn't be in the.
• 22:42
  Like totally. She don't seem like the type
• 22:45
  she'd be. Like.
• 22:46
  My vanilla love, that's what. I would do.
• 22:48
  I love it. OK, so I had a dream oh so long
• 22:53
  ago and it was it was Alves and I had one of my lovers tied up
• 22:59
  in the corner watching me fuck Elvis.
• 23:02
  But I was actually fucking him. You're going to laugh.
• 23:05
  I was fucking him with a beef stick.
• 23:07
  I had some fixation with I had been eating a beef stick.
• 23:11
  I like jerky. And I was so amazing him.
• 23:15
  And I was like, God, why the why did I dream that?
• 23:18
  But I I love the idea of fucking any man with a strap on because
• 23:21
  I mean, it's just it's glorious. It's hot, it's sexy.
• 23:24
  It really is. But you know, Elvis, I would
• 23:28
  feel like he was such a Southern, old fashioned, you
• 23:32
  know, dominant man. I know he had that sweet, gentle
• 23:36
  side to him, but it's almost like he was like borderline ABDL
• 23:41
  with him because you could just see the mother's love.
• 23:44
  A lot of people suspected that there was a little bit of too
• 23:48
  much mama's love. You don't want to be a mommy.
• 23:53
  Yeah, I don't mind being a mommy.
• 23:54
  Oh, Oh yeah. Yeah, OK, I'm just talking about
• 23:57
  his own mommy. Oh.
• 23:59
  Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. You're afraid of which womb he's
• 24:01
  trying to call back into. Yes.
• 24:03
  Gotcha. Yes.
• 24:05
  But outside of that, yeah, it was a really hot dream.
• 24:08
  I have really great dreams and very sexual dreams a lot.
• 24:13
  Charles and I always have an inside joke.
• 24:15
  He'll say, he said the other night he said, well, I hope you
• 24:19
  have one of your your naughty, sexy dreams.
• 24:22
  And I said, yeah, I said my sexy dream tonight would probably be
• 24:28
  Vanilla Ice. Trust me, I like Rob Van Winkle.
• 24:33
  He's still a hot mother fucker too, I said.
• 24:36
  But he had to be Vanilla Ice with with my husband and my
• 24:39
  Sissy. He's like, oh, that's sweet,
• 24:42
  but. Boring.
• 24:49
  That's funny. See, I for a long time couldn't
• 24:55
  have dreams at night, like for a long time because I was on
• 24:59
  medicine that kept me from like getting like all the way to
• 25:03
  point where I could dream because of I was having like bad
• 25:05
  night terrors and stuff. So I wouldn't either I either
• 25:08
  didn't remember the dream or I wasn't having them.
• 25:10
  I really don't know which. But either way, I didn't have a
• 25:12
  dream for like 3 years. Yeah.
• 25:14
  But here recently I've been having more and more, but I
• 25:16
  don't have sexual dreams. Like I don't have like like sex
• 25:20
  fantasies in my head that play at night like in my like I don't
• 25:23
  wake up. Like I have wet dreams and stuff
• 25:24
  like that. Yeah, it really sucks.
• 25:26
  I've never really had one. That's strange.
• 25:28
  It is strange. Wow.
• 25:31
  Well, you know, we all dream differently.
• 25:33
  We really do. But see, I program my mind to be
• 25:38
  very highly sexual and I always think like, oh God, how sexual
• 25:42
  can this get? You know, blah, blah, blah.
• 25:46
  And ultimately I have some really dirty dreams.
• 25:49
  And the other night I had a really fucking dirty dream and
• 25:52
  it was Eminem and he was going down on me.
• 25:55
  Marshall Mouthers was on yes and he was like finger banging me
• 25:59
  and I was like hot and I was like and I wake up and I was
• 26:03
  like Oh my God I want to fuck yeah 1.
• 26:06
  Of those moments where you turn over and go wake up, wake.
• 26:09
  Up. Oh, my God, yeah.
• 26:11
  You know, sometimes it just can't wake him up.
• 26:14
  But man, I've got plenty of equipment next to me that I
• 26:18
  believe really helped me out. Yeah, I believe it.
• 26:21
  I got a whole bag at the end of my bed.
• 26:23
  This was crazy. I'm going to tell you real
• 26:25
  quick, this is crazy. So the other night I he'd gone
• 26:29
  to sleep and I was like, where's my fucking Sissy?
• 26:33
  Where's somebody else? Nobody's here, fuck it.
• 26:35
  Anyway, I was like huh, I'm going to watch a little porn and
• 26:38
  I'll use my massager. Use my massager.
• 26:42
  Fucking dies. 5 minutes later I'm like wow.
• 26:46
  I use another massager. I get up, go to my closet, get
• 26:49
  another massager, it dies. And I was like, Oh my God, I was
• 26:55
  almost. There I was there.
• 26:58
  Why, Why and? So, and I mean, granted, I was
• 27:02
  really going hard on it, just like beating it up, you know?
• 27:07
  And I was like, Oh my God, where's my new massager?
• 27:09
  And I'm like, OK, I think it's, oh, I know where it's at.
• 27:13
  So I run and go get it. And here I am 2:00 in the
• 27:16
  morning, like, Oh my God, I'm getting, am I not?
• 27:19
  And finally I go and get it and I go to my room and I was like,
• 27:23
  OK, and I got it. Oh, that's great.
• 27:26
  OK, I got to use it. So I finished it off and I was
• 27:29
  like, huh, fuck. Like fuck.
• 27:33
  Yay, Hallelujah, you know? And the next morning I was like,
• 27:37
  why didn't you fucking charge, my God.
• 27:39
  Damn massager so. He's like, what are you talking
• 27:42
  about? And I'm like, I had to go to
• 27:43
  your office to get that fucking massager that I used on you last
• 27:47
  week. Thank God it still had a charge
• 27:49
  to it. I said I was so close.
• 27:52
  This was like teasing denial for me and I don't like teasing
• 27:55
  denial on me. I only want it on.
• 27:57
  You. That's hilarious.
• 28:01
  Isn't that crazy? That's funny.
• 28:03
  Yeah, that's funny. Yes, it is quite funny.
• 28:07
  Seriously. The same?
• 28:08
  As we talk about me. Well, you know, it is what it
• 28:11
  is. I don't love it, but Oh my God.
• 28:16
  Yeah. That's funny.
• 28:18
  Anyway, Kylie, I think we need to go on to our next topic for
• 28:22
  our next episode. Yes.
• 28:24
  But until then, Kylie, thanks for coming.
• 28:27
  It's been a treasure of always treasure a treat.
• 28:32
  That's what I'm here for all. Right, so until then, this has
• 28:38
  been the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.