Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Bryan Elsesser - A Parent's Journey of Family, Career, and Resilience

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Bryan Elsesser - A Parent's Journey of Family, Career, and Resilience · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ryder and this is my Dad's Show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor joining the show, which is called LatitudeSitkacom, a Latitude 57.
• 0:20
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• 0:28
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• 0:38
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• 0:40
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• 0:40
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• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If none of those sound interesting to you, well then go.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Stay on land and go ITVing, hiking, hot springs, yoga, take a massage in.
• 1:09
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• 1:18
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• 1:24
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• 1:25
  Speaker 2: The majestic views will blow you away and, as I mentioned, I cannot wait to get there in June.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's welcome LatitudeSitka to the podcast and get right to today's episode.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Well, hey, everybody, it is Casey Jaycox with the quarterback DATCAST.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: We're in season four, getting to the tail end of season four, which just saying that actually makes me almost smile a little bit, because we're still doing this podcast.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: We have many episodes booked almost into next year, which is crazy to be season five.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: But our next guest I met through the power of LinkedIn.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: His name is Brian Elcesser.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: I'll just mess that up again.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: He's a driven sales leader.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: He's the CEO of Elcesser Ventures, so now he's a go-to-market sales advisor leader.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: He also is a volunteer fireman.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: He's a real estate enthusiast and, believe it or not, he's an opera singer.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: So we'll learn more about that.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: But, more importantly, we're going to talk to Brian today about Brian the dad and how he is working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, mr Elcesser, welcome to the quarterback DATCAST.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Casey, thanks man.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that Elcesser gets a little, gets a little giddy.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I've had to live with it my whole life, so don't stress, I get it.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: It just is like we prepped it and I still was like tongue tied.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: It's like I don't know All right, so we always start each episode with gratitude.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Grateful.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: You know, man, I have a lot to be thankful for.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: You know I'm, as part of my household, I don't my parents did great by us, our us boys, and making sure that we had I have an older brother and younger brother made sure that we had food on the table, roof over our head and you know, and a set up for success for life.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: But I got to say like, outside of that, everything else was pretty much built.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: And so I remember, not too long ago, renting an apartment with two babies and then having three babies in the house that had 800 square feet that we owned.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: It was our little paradise for five years.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: And now, you know, living in a really beautiful home on the North Shore of Long Island with with four kids and it's you know I have a lot to be thankful for.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: I have a healthy family and that same roots provided for them.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: So good answer, my man.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I mentioned, before we start recording my my, my son and I were on the West Coast, my wife and daughter on the East Coast.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: We had like a week and a half gap because my son I came home early for a golf tournament he competed in and just being able to be back, be back in together as one was fantastic and it's just great it's.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: I'm so grateful for the fact that we're back together and we had a nice family dinner last night and just really enjoyed everything about it.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: So that's awesome that's.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Family dinner is underrated, man, it's like it's.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: It's.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: You know, there's so much power in that moment, and so I, I, I fully hear that.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: In fact it's.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: One of the changes I made recently to working for myself was that I was never off Zoom in time to be downstairs for family dinner, and maybe, and maybe, that change has happened Right Like it's.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I remember being like sitting down at dinner with my family.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Everyone sat down.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: I had to set the table, my dad would light a candle, even right Like, and we'd we'd have family dinner, like that was, and that was every night 5, 30.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: That was dinner, and I knew it right.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: My show would end, I'd have to get off the TV and sit down, and it was.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: That was the answer, it was, it was predictable, it was, it was what we needed to do.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: But now, like family dinner, the kids are small.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I mean I, my my oldest sir, or my twins are six, I have a four year old boy and then I have a baby, baby girl who's 14 months, and so it's a little more fleeting.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: We don't all sit at the same table.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: In fact, my wife and I will stand in the kitchen and try to serve them as much food as possible, as they continue to be asked for more things, but we still try to incorporate family dinner, being all of us in the same room.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: So I I really get that moment.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: It's an important moment.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: So I I'm already curious and random.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I want to go back to childhood.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: It's 5 30.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: It's time for dinner.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: What was the show you'd be watching?
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Do you remember?
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: So either salute your shorts which come on, fantastic, hey dude, Okay, could have been that one or Clarissa explains it all, Nickelodeon man all day long.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: So when I in my journey, I would have been facts of life, different strokes, silver spoons, punky Brewster, straight 80s, gold, oh yeah, absolutely, even family matters.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know Was that?
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: 80s.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: I think it's still 90s.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: That'd have been 90s.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Family ties was my era and I saved by the bell.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: There's so many good ones.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, you introduced the crew of the El Sesser family a little bit in the huddle, but tell me a little bit about how you and your wife met and then talk about what each child is up to you right now.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: So my, my wife and I met in college.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: She was finishing her undergrad, I was out doing my masters, I did, I have my you kind of alluded to this early, but I have my, my masters of green music and opera performance, and and I that's how actually I met my wife.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I was, I was a singer out in the Midwest, studying with this incredible teacher, very, very talented person named Kurt Ollman, and and so I had the the fortune ability to be out there and I happened to be walking out of my dormitory while she was walking in.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: So, my, my, the thing I like to say all the time, just to kind of, you know, push her buttons, is that we met on the street corner.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Nice, yeah, yeah.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: She loves it when I say, but, but we, we wound up living the same dorm, didn't know, and her roommate and I happened to be friends and next thing, you know, that night I invited them over for dinner because I wanted them to come and spend some time.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I wanted to spend some time with her and shortly after we started dating and we've been together since.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: It's been a very cool.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: We've been together and we're married.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: We are married eight years and we're together and we're together 15.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: So it's a long time.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Very cool, and then talk about the kids.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: I have some.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I have identical twin boys, arthur and Ira.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: They couldn't be more different.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Although they both love Minecraft, they're actually mirror twins, which is super cool.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: So, like one will have like the, the, the calic on one side and the other have any other, and it's it's.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Everything in their life is almost like complete opposite, which is including their personality, which is very interesting.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, they're very ying and yang, but they're they're amazing.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: They love being, they love being outside, they love being outdoors.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: They're not really in the team sports, and it's funny because my, I have a, I have nephews who totally are, and these guys are like, no, I'm not in the team sports, but they want to.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: They have desire to be runners, so I'm helping them going runs with me and they're incredible swimmers.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: They love swimming, so we're thinking about getting them on the swim team, you know.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: So that that's pretty cool.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: They're gonna be like individual sports people.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Nice with my, my middle guy, henry.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: He's, he's just a spitfire.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: He's got a lot of energy and knows what he wants Hates be.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: He's like the one that hates being the middle child that's there and knows.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: He is, and I can I can totally empathize with him because I was the middle child, so I get that.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: And then I got my baby girl, ruth, ruth E, joe, and Ruth is, um, she is just starting to learn words and Is in this moment of she learned thank you and yesterday she was saying love you, which is great, yeah, but she's, she's just she's.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: She's incredible, she's the apple of my eye.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: So, so unfortunate, they're incredible, they're all wonderful.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: This this past summer we went on we always go on a family vacation up to Lake George, which is an upstate New York.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: It's up in the Adorama Dax.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: It's absolutely gorgeous and we took them all in their very first hike up a mountain and and previous day we took them to a water park and which is the Great Escape water park which is up there.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: It's like a six-flags water park.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: In the entire time they complained at the water park.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: I want this, I want that.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I don't want to go on that ride, I want to get right.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: It was the whole thing Going on the hike not one peep, nothing.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Look at the get go, look at the tree.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: If they were just in Enamored and my wife's like I don't get it.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: We took him to the water park and they couldn't shut up.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: And here they are.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: And they're loving it and it's like, yeah, it's so, it's, they're outdoorsy kids.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: For sure that I was.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I was waiting for the exact opposite, like complain on the hike, like are we there yet on my feet.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I'm tired, no, no.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: I love that, I think so.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I think late summer here I might take the boys back up and just go camping for a weekend or whatever, just to get them back outside.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it's, it's fun.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, I want to go back in time and I was like learning more about my guess on what was life growing up for for Brian and talk about how your, how your parents, shaped you, now that you're a father.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: That's an interesting question, not one I've ever been asked.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: My, my, my, my parents were very hands-on, which I, I think at the time maybe I didn't appreciate so much, but now I do for sure.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Right like they, when you're a kid, your parents being in your grill kind of kind of drives you crazy, right and and like and I mean that like later years, right earlier years than being your really don't even know it and that's part of just being.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: You know a child development, you know you, you depend on mom and dad.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: But, like my, my father and my mother both taught me and my brother's very high work ethic.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: And from right out the gate I remember my mom used to tell me back like first, second grade, I remember sure her saying remember, you have to work hard, you have an opportunity to go to school and not everyone gets that opportunity Right.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Like she would always have those little life lessons which is pretty cool, love it.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: And so we were.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: We were pretty driven in that way.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I never really applied myself in schools for so much I was.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I did, okay, I was a B student, right.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: But I wasn't the guilty.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my brother was the a student.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: My younger brother was the a student.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Me I just sort of like.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: No, I was the social butterfly.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be in all the clubs.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: I was president, student body like I.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I wanted to do all that stuff.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: That was where my, my thoughts were.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: But my mom was an LPN and worked nights and my dad was a VP at a building firm.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Actually, the firm helped build Tower one downtown Manhattan after the Tower.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: So so like yeah.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: So he's had a pretty interesting job and career and he worked days and the two of them just they put everything into making it so that we again had that roof over our head.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: We were not the most, we were not the richest family in the community, we weren't the poorest, but I remember being a kid and being in the house that they bought that.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: You know, we we wore hand-me-downs as kids and that's what we did.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: But then, you know, life progressed and things got better and you know, and that was, it was a very middle-class up-up bringing, and I think my dad did amazing things for us.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: He, he made sure that, like it wasn't a big boat but we had a boat, we would go out on the boat, we'd have family weekends on the boat and we live on the island, right, so you're near the water.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: He made sure we were part of baseball and he'd coach baseball, little league.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: He was all on that.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: You know, we school was important.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: We weren't allowed to ignore our studies, we weren't allowed to miss homework, we had to be respectful to our elders, you know, and and very much in upbringing there I also had my grandparents around, which I I credit a lot for my personality as well.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: My grandfather was a character.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: He's an incredible character and I was very fortunate, you know, to have him up up until I was in my career.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: So he was.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: That was amazing and helped really formulate who I was also.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: So I think those are all those kind of put kind of played in.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: But we had a lot of lessons and though lessons were be outside, go, play, learn, fail, learn from it and the one lesson that always stuck was you could be whoever you want to be.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: You just got to do the work.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: A lot of lot of wisdom there.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: A lot, from my curious mind is, is like a tornado right now, so I got a slow this guy down upstairs.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: My first question is it kind of maybe a difficult one?
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: Like maybe talk about the memory you have, as with your mom and dad, when that tower fell?
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a tough day.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: That's a, that's a imagine he built it, he helped building it.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, he helped build the, the, the second tower right the new one tower one.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, sorry one, sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but but though the day the day the towers fell, that was, that was a rough day.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: I think it was rough for everyone on Long Island.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: I was fortunate my parents didn't work in the city, but that wasn't the case for a lot of, a lot of kids I went to school with I.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I think it changed who I was for my upbringing, right, because I remember not really knowing what I wanted to do and I Remember feeling like enormous anger that day, right like like I'm a very my.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: My grandfather on my mother's side is a war hero, world War two.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: You know he's a, he's a, a bronze star recipient.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: He's a purple heart recipient.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: The man, the man's a hero.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I've never really got to know him well because he was gone before I really was of age to know him.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: But you know, there's a lot of pride in in in a family that has that kind of Background where people sacrificed for it, and so when somebody attacks your homeland you get, you get Pissed, and I was nice that day.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: It was the day I realized I wanted to do some sort of public service.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: So you, you mentioned I'm a fireman.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: The second I was Able to have the time to do it.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I became a volunteer fireman in my local community and I've been doing for 15 years.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I've never looked back.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I'm now an emergency medical technician alongside it.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: I do that on nights and weekends.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I don't do it for money, I do it just because it's incredible and it's it's the best thing I can possibly do Outside of what.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I do for a living.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: So Wow, good for you, man.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you for doing that.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: I know people on Long Island appreciate that, because that's a choice and Not easy, but it's obviously, it's a passion.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I can hear it in your voice.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: You know I live in Seattle and that's.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: I remember no 9-11 hit.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: It was like what, like this is really happening.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: And you know this entrepreneur journey I've been on.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: I've actually met some people from New York and just hearing some of them describe where they were yes, it just was like area class French class French class.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I was in French class and the TV was on and they had it up and everything like paused that day.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: It was weird.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: You know it was a ninth grade.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Wow, I remember I was just in starting my career, I was Leaving for work.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: I think I had a dentist appointment that day and I remember what it had hit.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I was like there's what, there's no way that happened.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: And but yeah, well, what a, what a surreal thing for your, for your pops, to Probably a cool thing maybe to be, you know, rebuilding what was once there, and now we got part of the screen.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, I have the sweatshirts that have the have the tower on it.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: You know, like that's kind of cool.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: And you know, just watching, hearing the stories, you know how, how, just all the different stuff my father had to do even with, like the FBI and Homeland Security, and even, you know, delivering goods over bridges, and like he had to go through a whole bunch of training just to even do be part of any of that.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: He was on the finance side, right, just making sure that.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: You know the, the goods were going, people were paying for it, collections, things, that at nature he was doing all of that.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: So yeah, but just, you know it's a, it's a story too, because when we're downtown and I point out the building, like you know, you know the kids call him bop bop.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I'm like you know bop bop, what it helped, helped that get built.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: You know that's pretty, it's a good history.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: What so being outside, learn it's okay to fail, talk about, talk about maybe some a story to that comes to mind with those three, your values or or pearls of wisdom your parents taught you.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Now that you're a dad, like tell me what comes to mind On really what helped those lessons stick for you grown up?
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I think the one that sticks out is like my mom always saying that you can do whatever you wanted to do, like doesn't matter, right, do you got to do the work.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: I never really knew what I wanted to do in terms of the work, right, which is probably the reason I never really applied myself like I did.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, I was not an idiot.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: I can.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: I can absorb enough information to spit it back out on the test to get a passing grade.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Hey, that was my gift.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: But but I think I Think really applying the, the, the, the, the moment of like, okay, what do I really want to do?
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: And when I made that moment to go to college and go after music and then really applying myself, that's when I started doing really well in school, because I was super interested and bought in, tied in, and the words echoed in my head you chose this, this is what your choice is, this is what you do.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: You know Going through school as a musician, the whole thing of it's okay to fail as long as you'll learn from it really resonated, because you know there's that old saying of how do you get the Carnegie Hall practice, practice, practice.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: I was one that actually made it to the career.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I I did have an agent, I did perform internationally, I did perform throughout the country and had the opportunity to do so.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: But I also had other dreams, and so I allowed that dream to take over, and that dream was having a family, and that dream was being one place.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: When you're a performer, you're in a different city every two weeks.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I can't live that way, you know.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: I at one point I thought I could but but.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: I, I Can't live that way when I want to have children and I want to, you know, give back, and in different ways, for the, for a community, and those things matter and they matter a lot to me.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: And so is that a failure to Allow a career to that you've built flounder?
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: No, I don't think so.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I think I think that that is the Moment of taking that quote-unquote failure, mm-hmm, realizing the greater right.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: And I think that lessons permeated throughout my career, even and I'm hoping that it permeates even in my ability to be a good dad, is that, like you know, I Realized very early on that like there's not always gonna be people that you're gonna like working for, and there's not always gonna be jobs that work out the way you thought they would, and that you know all those lessons kind of combine, and eventually, one day, you realized that, like you know, it's just not worth it to spend time at something where you don't feel the reward, and that you need to be, that you need to value yourself before anybody can value you right.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: And so recently I walked away from a very great job, like incredible job, but I did so that I could spend more time with my family.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I did so so that I could, I could spend more time with my little girl and the boys.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: And you know, I think my, my parents still look at me as crazy, but I look at that as like me taking a step back.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: A failure if you will, but it wasn't.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: But if you could walk me away.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's some type of failure there I'd stuff failure to turn around and be like I can be better, I can be bigger things, and so, yeah, I don't know.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that answers your question.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: It's a ramble, but no, it does.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think, to your mom, to your mom's point, like, doing you want to?
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Do you just give it your all-time mindset, that's?
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: I think it's that advice in my mind.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: How I heard the story is I kind of help inspire you to figure out like, hey, what do I?
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: What's important to me?
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Do I want to Make X stress myself out, be a shitty dad, or do I want to, like, figure out, I want to be the best balanced out I can be, and maybe this job isn't the best for me, so I'm gonna go do something that is more lines of my passion.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I've become, more I've become.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I think those sort of mantras have made me an all-or-nothing kind of dude and I will not invest time in anything unless I know that I can be, if not the best just under.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: And that's like that's a hard Expectation to give yourself.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: But I, just how I'm built, like I don't, I don't know.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: I have to be the best at what I do and it doesn't mean I have to be the best in the room, but it does mean that like there's no way somebody couldn't look at me and say I'm not an expert in my field.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: There's no way somebody couldn't look at me and say you know, brian has no idea what the hell he's doing in this, in this role, like nope, I will own my domain.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: And it goes right down even to firefighting it's a volunteer thing, but it's also a volunteer thing where you could be killed.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: So I take it with that sincerity right.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: There's a, there's a sign that we hang up in the in the firehouse that says you can't train too hard for a job that can kill you, and and that's a saying that we have right and like, but again, like the same thing.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I, I, I apply it in that way and I think even this past year I got to a point where that perfectionism took me over as a dad and I got away from being with the kids and it was like whoa, pause, pump break, like I've gone too far into the road of like all or nothing and I need to now reevaluate the importance of what I'm missing.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's good man, it's good to have those kind of self reflections.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: I I was in corporate for over 20 years and when I, when I stepped away, people thought I was nuts.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Some people did.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: I could give two shits Because I knew it was right time for me to kind of like Go down this entrepreneur path that I knew I want to write a book and I want to start this podcast.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: I didn't ever think I would get into speaking and coaching.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: That found me and I'm absolutely loving it.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I will never regret, brian, the time I'm giving my family.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll never regret the time I get my kids in high school.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, there, I'm here for them every day it's a.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: It's a, it's a.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: It's a really good segue into like what.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: So I I'm actually in stealth on up startup right now, and this startup is a tech-enabled platform for salespeople to allow them to maybe you know work on some extra projects Outside of what they currently do to make some money.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: It also allows founders to pay on bookings as opposed to, like, having to carry Salary employees, which gives them more runway.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: So it's this whole like two-sided place that we're working on, but they came up with the idea for the exact reason you just said.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: We've we've been working forever and dad's not dad's alike out there, but we've been, we've been working forever in this mantra of like, loyalty to brand, loyalty to business.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: It comes over and in what happens is eventually, over time, some people have lost their families over it because they're like you work so much that you're never around and it's a, it's a permitting thing, and I think that there's too much work being put into this idea of you need to go, work hard and that's it and that's your life, and then one day you wake up and you've lost your family, you lost your kids, you, you have a whole lot of money.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Thank God, you know what I mean, I don't know.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: I think that we need more opportunity to allow people To be the owners of their own brand, get that freedom away from the loyalty piece, because what loyalty was ever given back to you by that brand, least today.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: In tech it doesn't exist, right, I don't know, and maybe in other industries it sure does, but in tech no way.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: It's 18, 24 months in your, in your field, before you're off to the next place.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: So we do all this work towards loyalty, but we never get the loyalty back, and then one day we wake up and we've lost everything, and I think that that just means that there's more work to be done, and so this whole idea of the brand has been to give lifestyle back to individuals, and the lifestyle that you and I just expressed, that we are enjoying, which is being around.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's exciting.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: When Can we tease the audience on when we might learn more about this?
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: This should be up.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: It should be live October the first okay, a launch date, expecting October the first.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: So More to come, but get excited.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I'm excited for it.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: I truly it's, it's gonna.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: I think it'll change the game a little bit and how we think about work, which is important.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: I think we need it love it.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Well, we're August 17th.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: This episode might come out right in.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: It'll come out in September, maybe near October.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: So the timing this could be good timing, yeah, and we'll make sure Maybe we get done recording.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: I'll get the link or the yeah, yeah, we can't talk about it on the air right now, but like it'd be good to like help tag it and promote it when it, when it comes out.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: So that'd be fun.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that'd be great.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: That'd be great.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: You, you said something earlier about practice, which is one of my favorite words as it, not only as a dad, but as entrepreneur, as a former athlete, as a seller.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Why sales teams don't like to practice is a mind blowing to me.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: What they like to dish, I mean as an athlete, when I put football on college yes, this is an uncle Rico moment from the point dynamite when I, my coach, wouldn't say, hey, casey, go ahead and skip practice Monday through Friday and just show up on game day.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: We'd love for you to do that.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, he would look like an idiot.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Yet in business, sellers just wing it, they don't.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Hey, what's this was this person do, was claim, do and, and yet we, they expect results.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: So I'd love to know that's one problem I'm trying to solve in the business world.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: But as a dad, I'm talking about where that, that love of practice for you, came from, and maybe how we, how will you influence or teach your kids the power that word?
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: It's funny, some of them the most prestigious, or perceived to be prestigious, type Roles in the world.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Think medicine, think law when they say there when they, yeah, when they.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: But when they speak of their, their field, they call it their practice right, medical practice, law practice right.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: And I always love that.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I used to.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I was a kid, I used to.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Really, I don't know.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: My brain used to go down down deep rabbit holes of like, why is that?
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: You know, yeah, and one of the things I went down and was like, why is it a practice?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: They're not practicing, they have to do the job, and my mom will be like, well, no, it's not a perfect science.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: You know, it's something.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: You know they are.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: It's always different.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: You're always gonna have a different medical condition that they have to over, they have to look at.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: They were gonna have a different Law thing that's gonna come up, and it's that's why I I consider sales practice, I consider being a dad a practice.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: I Don't know about you.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: When I left the hospital, they didn't give me the manual, so I.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Had to kind of I had to be expert level out the gate right Like no one's like, no one's like.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Here's your manual.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: By the way, you have some time.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: No, it's not.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: You leave.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: You have a life in your hands and, by the way, don't kill it.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: You know like you have to keep it alive and nurture it and hope it turns into a good, prosperous human, my god, so.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: So there's some, some, some work to be done there, and nothing not outside of that how to be a good partner, mm-hmm, being a good dad, being a good partner I think they go hand in hand.
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: Hello everybody.
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: My name is Craig co and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for beeline.
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: For more than 20 years we've been helping fortune 1,000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: In fact, beeline's history a first to market innovations have become today's industry standards.
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: I Get asked all the time what did Casey do for your organization?
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: And I say this it's simple.
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: The guy flat-out gets it.
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: Relationships matter.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: It's down to earth presentation, his real-world experience applied to every area of our business.
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: In fact, his book when the relationship and not the deal, has become required reading for all new members of the global Relationship management team.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: If you'd like to know more about me or about beeline, please reach out to me on linkedin.
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: And if you don't know, casey Jay Cox, go to Casey Jay Cox, calm, and learn more about how he can Help your organization.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: Now let's get back to today's episode.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought about that word practice forever as being, and what I talk about, my profession.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: It is.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: I'm in the practice of sales and that is because I've never been on a sale that's exactly the same, I've never been on a sales cycle that's exactly the same, even at the same company, and anybody it's like yeah, I have.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: No, you haven't.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: Sorry, it's no way, like there's been nuances that have changed it.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: So the reality is is we need to practice because that's how you get better at things and car in that whole thing.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: How do you get the Carnegie Hall Practice, practice, practice and Carnegie Hall.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: For those who don't know the music community is like the epitome of success If, you are performing a Carnegie, you've made it right like you've done it, and so that's.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: that's always why that that's where that phrase comes from Love it, I think, practice it and I think, for people who are quote unquote elite in their field, I think the elite love being coached, I like.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: I think it's sports.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: I think I've personally.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: You know well, it's Tom Brady or Joe Montana or Peyton Manning.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: That means sports wise, I'm sure.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: There's singers, there's pilots, I mean elite.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: People love being coached because you can always find ways to get better.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: And I think human, Once you get complacent it can be a silent killer and anything.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: Once you think you've arrived, you look out because life will humble you, whether you want to be humble or not, so you might as well stay humble.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: I always tell people.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Actually, one question I forgot to ask you we go back to singing, so do you?
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: You left opera, you got an, obviously business you want to be at.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: You know I want some balance there with a fatherhood.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: Do you still get a chance to sing at all?
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get asked that question a lot.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: I will do shows again, hopefully soon.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: It's probably been almost five years now since my last show.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: And I miss it dearly like when you spend your entire, like early adult life at something.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: You and you've done it well and you've done seen amazing things doing it and you've been some incredible parties with some very cultured individuals.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: It's an experience, right.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: My wife says I miss you.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I miss you is my performance, you, because when she met me I was taking her to these parties that these you know cast parties with different people that were very eccentric and very different and very interesting.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: So I miss those days, you know.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: But I still sing.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: I, the fire department, some Long Island actually, have all figured out that I know how to sing and so I'll get invited to different ceremonies that they're doing and they asked me to do national anthem and so I've become kind of regionally known, if you will, to do that stuff.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: But but I mean I sing every day and I sing to my children and that's no joke.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: I sing to my kids at night before bed, every single night.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know what age.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: They'll tell me to shut up, but they haven't yet.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: So there's that.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: And Ruth is too small to tell me to shut up, so she's got to just deal with it.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: But but yesterday I was in the car and actually funny story.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: I swear I'll keep it quick.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: But yesterday was in the car and the kids are listening to frozen and and I was making you know jokes, singing some of the lyrics to frozen, and my son goes Dad, stop, you're ruining the song.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: I'm like All right, sorry you know.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: And then finally I was like All right, I'm going to play my, my favorite Disney music now, and I put on her Hercules, because I love that Disney show.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I think it's a great Disney show.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: And so go to distance.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: I started singing, go to distance.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: And my son goes Dad, you ruined the song again.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: That wasn't good.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like what?
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: That wasn't good.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: And so I came inside I said I said Laura, I think I've lost my touch.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: She's, what do you mean?
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: I said Arthur says I don't know how to sing.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: And she's like she looks and goes young man, that's a trained opera singer over there.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: I think you need to train your ear.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: And I'm like I don't know, I've lost my gift.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: You ruin the song.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: Well, the kids will keep you humble too.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: You know, it's a way they used to say hey, who's the singer of this?
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: You give me the answer Like yeah, let's keep it that way.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: And I used to be what you said right when you're growing up, but now it's just Dad.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: You ruined the song.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: I've reached that stage.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: So, as you, as we, as we go back to, like you know the things that you, you talked about, you know being outside, which obviously your parents tell you that you're still doing that with the, the height you talked about, you talked about me getting campkin in the year, which I love, those, those lessons, like what talk about?
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: What you, what we, most important for you, as as when that things you learn, grown up, that you're going to be instilling into your, into your, in your four kids.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, get outside, literally get outside, I, my kids, if they, we gave them the opportunity to be on their iPads all day like playing Minecraft, that's what they would do and like I think it fries their brain.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: I would encourage you some of the words that they come up with out of nowhere.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: The vocabulary they get from somebody shows that they watch about Minecraft is crazy, right.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: And then I'm like, all right, I guess I don't hate it that much.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Or my son goes.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: Dad, look at this pirate ship I built.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like Holy cow, it's like an old style pirate ship.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: How the hell did you even come up with that?
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Right, Like they the creator aspect that engages that side of the brain.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: I mean I don't know if they're going to get out there, but otherwise they need to get out and explore their environment and I mean it's, it's permeated my entire life.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: I actually just read an article this morning about a dad.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: No joke, Men's Health, Great, great article in the, the August edition, about a father that raised five sons on the water and some of the lessons that he instilled in them.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: In you know, he would take them out after work, out on the boat and that he would stay out there till an hour until, like you know, a quarter to midnight and head back in and they'd be the kids would be asleep on the floor in the boat.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: They'd have a cooler, full, efficient way back in and, like you know, but it taught them, you know, being on the water and growing up there the kids, like you know, became lifeguards and became, you know, all sorts of different swim coaches and I don't know, I don't know if it's that extreme that I want to go to right, but I don't.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: I also want to have the kids have an appreciation for the outdoors.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: So I become den leader of the local Cub Scout troop so that I can help the boys have a more structured way of engaging with their environment.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: But additionally, like I'm in the fire department, I'm just I'm on their rescue team and I'm on the water rescue team, so I'm not on the boat with the water rescue team and I'm not swimming on the for as a rescue swimmer and so like.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: And all those lessons came from being outdoors.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: And I don't care if the kids are in in a fireman or not, but I think they better have some bug of service and give back.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: I think that's the biggest thing.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: I think being outdoors kind of taught me it's weird that it came from being outdoors but like being outdoors, being with nature, being outside, you get an appreciation for how grand this opportunity is in this life that we have, of the freedoms that we have.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Frankly, it's you don't find that on a computer, I'm not finding it on this, you know, zoom call with you, right, Like it's no offense but it's, it's it's being applied and that you get to really come to understand the opportunity we have.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: And going back to that story I gave you about nationalism and like where my whole, like wanting to give back, sort of clicked for me, Like I truly think that most people, at least in the United States, take their freedom for granted and we don't.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: We don't think about instead of thinking about money or corporation or family or the problems we have in our life, the bickerment that you're having with your neighbor or whatever that you might have in your life.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: Like if we all just asked one question at one point each week of like what could I do for my community this week that would make it a better place and make it the place that I want to live in, make it place for my, better for my kids.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Make it place better for me, make it for my spouse, whatever it is.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: If we all asked that, questioning how incredible our communities would be.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: That is what I want to instill in the kids is the ability to give back, because that has what's enriched my life.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: Love it, man, I mean Computers always be there.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: And you're right, yeah, do they do fry your brain?
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: I know I feel like I'm Friday, the end of a day.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: I like I feel like I'm blind.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that that question at the end you inspire a memory that a great Gentleman I met, named Matt Miller, shout out to you Maddie Miller and st Louis.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: He has a.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: He has a question.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: He asked his, his wife how can I be a better husband today?
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: How can I be a better husband this week?
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: He asks his kids, how can I be a better dad today?
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: How can I be a better dad this week?
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: I'll ask him all the time.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: And so it's like think about you know what you did.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: I'll apply it to fatherhood.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: Think about if us dads slowed down Like I have this phrase that we slow down to go fast and anything like.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: If you slow down to get me with curious, just kind of self-reflect watch film of football analogy there, like what, what are we?
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: How can we do differently or better to be a better version of ourself?
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: And if we never ask, we never know, we just assume we go through life.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: I Love this story, so hold up.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: I'll share one more thing with you, and we're going down a rabbit hole, but maybe that's the point rabbit holes are good.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: Um it's past weekend so I had posted I wanted I had this mission to go and I knew that back my head.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: I wanted to like we have to take care of the fire trucks.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: They don't just take care of themselves, right, like, if you're a volunteer, part of the thing is you, you have to actually do the work of, like, a fire fire.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: My kids and I the older boys we were having more deeper.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: We're having more and more.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: We're having deep conversations, which I love.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: They want to know the ins and outs of life, the ins and outs of Death, even like some of the questions they ask and come up with at this age are like, oh, I don't know.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: They really challenge you.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: But one of the question, one of the things we we talked about this past weekend and I put it up in my group chat with the fire department was we talked about pride.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm, what is pride?
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: What does it mean to be proud?
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: How do you show you're proud of something?
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: And we talked about it, gave examples like they.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: We asked of what was the example of something they're proud of, you know, and what was an example of how they show their pride, you know?
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: And I gave the example of myself to the kids.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I'm proud of being a fireman and I talked about it, right, like you hear me talk about all the time.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: I'm like, but how do I show the pride?
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: And I'm like they're like, well, I don't know how do you show your pride, dad.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well, it's not.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: It's not just like going on a parade or something Like that's, that's pretty, that's not exactly pride.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, it can be, but it's not exactly it.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: Right, that's more show-poting, in a way, like pride is taking care of something that you love.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: I'm like.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: So what I'm gonna do today is I'm gonna go up to the firehouse, I'm gonna pull the fire trucks out, I'm gonna wash them.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: Would you want to come and do that?
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: Do you want to come with me and see how I do that?
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: And they let anything on the firehouse to like oh, I want to go.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, you mean I get to go play with the fire truck for a while.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: Let's go, dad, you know.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: And so up they went, but you know, so they helped me wash two fire engines.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: So I take a picture of them, put it up in the group chat.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, today I had a conversation with my boys about pride and what it means to be proud and how we show pride when we're more Proud of something, and took a picture of them, posted the picture of them washing the trucks with me.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: Of course it wasn't just me trying to get them to wash my trucks, but but and like that was, I had that moment of like.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: I don't normally do that.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: There was there and there's.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: There needs to be more of that and that's why you just your story kind of registered my brain, like the question of how to be a better dad.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: I love that also.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: Like just asking one thought-provoking question to them on a lesson that you want them to learn each week even could be a Pivotal thing.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: You don't know what they're gonna catch on to.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I would be willing to bet there.
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: Your boys will remember that's Forever.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: They'll remember like when they're all that would be great.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I mean like never would.
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: I used to let us rush the trucks and I mean cuz like we used to spend.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: We spend time in eastern Washington, and Two doors down from us was a, an elderly couple that when they were.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: They're really slowing down now, which is sad, but they were volunteer medics.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: Hmm, fire, they're volunteer, they're drove the ambulance together, yep, and you know they would love to get.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: When our kids were young They'd get them in the ambulance to get them the firetruck, and then my kids love that They'd go see the fire station and all these things, and so and they, my kids, still remember it to that day this day.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I, and I think like it's funny, right, like I don't talk.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: My kids ask me all the time what I do for a living and I try to share some of it.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: But what we do can be so complex when you're talking about consulting or starting a company or whatever, right?
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: So One day they'll, they'll grasp that and we'll go a little bit deeper, but for now, like it's where I talk about the fire department here, all the time they, they see me in my fire department clothes, all the time they want it.
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: They, when they're asked at school, what does your dad do?
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: I've how many times I've had a teacher go oh, so you're, you're a firefighter, right, I'm like, I'm a volunteer, you know, like, and but but it's, you know, you can see how much gravitas they're putting towards it, which is, I think, the register in my brain that they're capturing something.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: But I'd be, it'd be interesting to see exactly what that turns into later and I'm excited for that really am.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: Well, when my kids were young, you know your triggered story.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: Mean, it's what's fun about this podcast?
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: We're all we go and curious, let the conversation drive the outcome.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: But when my son was seven and my daughter was, she was just about four I couldn't tell my son hey, you dad provides staff augmentation services, you know, for product led organizations or blah, blah, blah.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Like what the hell does that mean, dad?
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: So I told my make, make friends for a living, yeah, and my buddies, like dude, you can't tell your son that he's gonna ask for frickin cash on the recess.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: I'm like I said, no, think about it, I give in.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: A friend needs help.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: I'd help him.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: Just like when a client or prospect says, hey, can you help me?
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: Wow, if I lie to him and tell him, oh yeah, we can do that, and all of a sudden I'm letting them down, I said it's me, sales and business, all about just being a great friend.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: It's like setting expectations, it's listening, it's helping people and you can help them.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: If you can help them, great.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: If you can't find a different friend who can help them, yeah, yeah, yeah, just simplifying, it was always a way out.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: I did it for my kids, never younger.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: I would so.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: And then here's one thing I'll tie into.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: That too is like the only cuz as you're talking I'm thinking about.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: You call your podcast a quarterback, the quarterback dad cast and how to be a good quarterback for your family.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: I Think that I'm a wide receiver at best.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: Ah, maybe I'm a linebacker, I Ain't the quarterback.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm very fortunate to have a extraordinary partner, and the only reason I'm in 9,000 directions and able to do that is because I have that partner, and so I.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: You know, there's still a statistic in the world that says that 57 or 58 percent of marriages fail, and that's a real thing.
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: So I don't take for granted that mine hasn't yet and I put yet on there.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: It's like it takes work to keep things, yeah, but what I would say is that even those marriages that have failed, the ones that still have kids, that Partnership in raising the children is so important, and so I, I truly think of my wife as the quarterback of this family, and she'll say she's like hey, you do did this or you did that in terms of extra things in the calendar she didn't talk to me about.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: You're right, because she's the quarterback, and if she doesn't know about it.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: I can't, I.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: Why am I doing it?
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: Right, like if you're on the football field and you go wide for a pass but the quarterback isn't there to throw it to you.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: What the hell are you doing?
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: So?
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: And that is that is where you know I would.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: I think the only thing I think about and everything we talk about is that I'm so the things I'm blessed I'm probably blessed the most with is an incredible partner.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I call the.
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: So most wives that we've heard I've heard many dads talked you're one of 200 dads that have joined us is yeah, crazy, huh, is the wife sometimes a general manager, you know?
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we got hired to play quarterback because I mean so many like I was.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: Episode that came out today.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: Episodes come every Thursday and you know the, the wives, a lot of wives have this in common of good marriages, I found, is that they, they magically stuff gets done and us dads like how the hell that get done?
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: Well, they're like 90 steps ahead of us and I was joke with my son last night.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: I said, hey, bud, keep us between us.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: But the female species way more talented than us, they're tougher, they're stronger.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: Now, there's a lot of things that us dudes do.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: Good job, but but like a strong woman with an intuition and organized look out, look out, you know, and so we were.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: We're kind of laughing at that, but you're right, I mean, I think you know, and I think one of the one of the goals of these episodes I have with dads is inspire.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: You know, I'll increase humility, increase vulnerability, reduce your ego, empower.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: Like it's okay to say you're sorry, it's okay to ask for help.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: It's okay to like cry if you have a sad day.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: Like you know, this isn't the 1920s, where it's like you rough on gruff, you take your lunch pill to work and everyone's a wussy and like that's not real anymore.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: No, it's not real, you know, I I think it's.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: If there was another thing too some you're, you're, you're spawning all these I had.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: Maybe men's health was more Accurate this month than I thought.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: I was making fun of some of the articles that were in there.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: I was like what the hell are they writing about?
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: You know, man Like one was like redefining masculinity.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: It's not just anger, I'm like am I angry all the time?
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: What?
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: the hell is this article about?
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: But like there is some sense of machoism, right, that We've been somehow ingrained in our generation of like that's what it is to be mad, it's like no not really.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: I like I have.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: I have my vulnerable moments, I definitely have my vulnerable moments with my partner, but I feel like there's there's so much more to that.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, I resonate with what you're saying for sure.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Okay, one of the questions I always like asking dads, because you know, we've talked a lot about positivity here.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: We talked a lot about our areas, what we've learned from our you've learned from your, your, your parents.
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: But to you know, level the playing field, one thing that we all have in common as dads we all can find ways to get better.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: And Regardless of your ain't, regardless of your job, whether you're staying at home, dad, or you're actually unemployed, debt, it doesn't matter, we all can find ways to get better.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: And, brian, I always tell my guess.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: One of my areas is, as a competitive person, I have to constantly work on just patience.
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: No, funny, so funny, you're literally took them.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: No, well, I'll lead the witness.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: So that's my baby tell, talk about.
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: You can use the same one, but maybe talk about your dad game that you're.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: You're working hard to Just be a better version of you.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: That may be my resonant with other dads at home.
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: I was at.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: I was on a call last night and and the lieutenant calls me afterwards and she goes, she goes.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: Hey, she goes, you are, she goes.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: You have to slow down.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what do you mean?
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: She goes?
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: When you get on a call, you get into this like tunnel vision mode where you know Everything that needs to get done and you just start doing it.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: She just we have to realize there's other people on the team that are there to help.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: Also, you don't need to be the one to do it.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: All right, important lesson Great call out and I love feedback, which is great.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: So, but I give that scene quote back to me on Like just being a father, like there are certain things that need to happen in the day and there are certain expectations I have of the kids and my wife tries to remind me there's Brian, they're six, like they're gonna be seven, like right, they're not grown kids.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: Like you can't have high expectations Sorry to French, but like I have high expectations, I have very high expectations and maybe I but and that's where, for myself, I I need more patience, I need to have the ability for them to just be kids and not have these expectations, but like when I go outside and their toys are all over the damn driveway and the garage is emptied, and I just did it the night before and then the next night and then the next night.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: I'm like, can you just put I don't even care if it's put back nice, can you just put it back in the garage before you go inside, like that's what I want.
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: Hi, I'm Marcy stout, ceo and co-founder of rebel coach, a consulting and coaching company Dedicated to cultivating leadership, building cohesive teams and fostering well-being in the workplace.
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: At rebel coach, collaboration is one of our core principles, which is why I'm excited that Casey Jay Cox and I are partnering together to host a monthly mastermind called the intentional sales leader Mastermind, where leaders can share ideas, exchange insights and gain valuable knowledge from industry experts.
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: It's our promise to you that joining our mastermind will provide practical insights on how to use curiosity and humility to build relationships while exceeding revenue Expectations.
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: Will also teach techniques so you can stay committed to priorities like family health and, quite frankly, things that bring daily joy.
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: You can learn more about me and my work at rebel coach comm and, if you want to work with us and other sales leaders who are committed to results, both personally and professionally, visit Casey Jay Cox comm for more information on the intentional sales leader mastermind.
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: Learning a little bit of patience around, like, okay, it's okay, you'll learn it eventually.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: It's just one example of Times on any patience.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: But I believe I need a lot of patience because it's I don't know.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: I have this, this itch of wanting to be wanting things to go better or more perfect, or a little bit smoother.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: Or Then the listen for five more minutes like and and I don't always get that right.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: So the the inside me goes, I'm losing my, my patience and I have a trigger and I think that's where my business self Comes out is that I don't, I wouldn't stand for it as a business leader, right, if and then, but I this isn't a business and so it's a very, very difficult I'm be very honest is a very difficult line for me, and thing that I'm actively trying to improve upon is that skill set.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it's good.
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: Hopefully just talking out loud makes you feel better and we got a little bit.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: You know, I'd say like when I was, I was you know what one lesson I'd learned, that continually it's like the difference between expectations and agreements.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: So expectations a lot of times set in my mind.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: If I don't set them clearly, then we can't have an agreement between each other or between me, my kids and then, and a lot of times that self-induced issues, yeah, and even when I entered the entrepreneurial world, my wife's like, hey, we don't, we don't need, we don't need coach here, we don't need consulted, just be a dad, you know, and she wasn't being rude about it.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: But it's like Feedback, it's like listen, chill out, dude, and I get and I think sometimes you get on into a new thing Like you and your startup, or you get so passionate about it like people don't always want to talk about.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, my god, I got a new pocket.
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: Who cares?
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: no, not only that, like the Roma scissors right, like I feel it's my phrase.
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: I run my scissors literally like I'll destroy everything on my path because I need the Romans.
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: I need to get shit done now and that's what I might like.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: I'm on this path of gotta get it done.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: That's not the way in which we approach a family and so on.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: A day when I've been on 14 meetings back to back running with scissors and I come downstairs to that dinner and I'm my head's still going, you know, she's like hey.
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: Relax man right, yeah, yeah, absolutely 100% yeah, okay, but as we get wrapped up here, I want to, if you had to, kind of summarize what we've talked about today and Actionable tasks that dad's can take from maybe two or three kind of nuggets of wisdom from our conversation they they can take from us to to work on being better leaders, or your quarterback to their household, brian, tell me what comes to mind.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: One get your kids outside there we go like, and don't force them into team sports either.
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: I think let them be the humans they want to be.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: If they're individuals, let them be individuals there.
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: There are opportunities for those kids as individuals.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: They don't need to be in the team sport.
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: You are one sense of your, your desires don't need to be theirs.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like me, being a fireman doesn't mean that my kids have to be either, but just make sure the lesson that you want them to get it's the lesson and not the action.
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's part one.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: Part two yeah, patients, I think we all can work on that one, so I'll take way.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: Number two is like Be a little bit mindful.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: I think I try to go retrospective at days on part of myself, but there's that Three.
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: The most important lesson of anything we talked about today Is, even if it means changing what you're doing for a living, make time for the kids.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: You got to make time for what you're doing.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: If you you have a family, got to make time for it.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: And that's the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn, because it's somebody that is so driven, and so I hold expectations myself to the highest and team level.
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: I Gotta tell you like it's.
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: You have to mindfully make room for the family and you have to do that and and set time aside to do it.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: So, yeah love it.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: Ma'am, gold, you, you made me think of a happiness say my, I'm fortunate I shared, but we had to.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: One of our our dogs was laid to rest yesterday and my daughter was super sad and I got a little sad for her.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, guys, I didn't really like the dog but I love my daughter and loved a love was sad that she was sad.
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: But one thing that you know we love doing together, she's a little, she's a huge basketball girl, loves hoop and like our one-on-one time is when I go rebound for her and that's when we have our talks and I just listen and she loves when I go out and read.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: I should always ask, hey, dad, you can rebound for me.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, you bet, and so you know I love that.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: I get to give that gift not only to myself but her, of going outside and being there for her.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, you made me want to share that with you.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, if people want to learn more about you before we go into the lighting round, they want to learn more about L cells, l sessor, of ventures we can't talk about the startup yet but if they want to learn more about you, they want to connect with you Tell me the best way people can do that and this and how can they learn more about what you're up to?
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: I think LinkedIn's attached to my hip, so just go on a.
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: Linkedin and connect with me.
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: My name my name casey will spell my name right in In the in the podcast, so just go there.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: Linkedin, brian, I'll sessor, you'll find me.
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: Connect with me and I'm very happy to talk to anybody.
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: Cool, I'll make sure that's tagged in the show notes, brian, it's now time to go into what I call the lightning round, which is I go completely random on you.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: I just ask random questions that come to mind to try to get a gig, a gig, gig.
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: A lot of you, I think your job is to ask dance them as quickly as you can, and I will prove that.
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: I have taken way too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits from, from playing quarterback.
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, are you ready?
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, true or false, your, your fellow firemen and women call you fire marshal bill.
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: From in living cup and living cause, I Got the last.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: Can you do the fire marshal bill?
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: I don't, even, I don't, I can't even try.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no one.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: For those that don't know, jim Carrey, one of the best, best characters ever, way back in the in the day.
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: But it was so good.
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: Tell me the last book you read.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: I Just finished the maze by Nelson deMille.
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, tell me the one song you listen to that your fellow firefighters would be like what you listen to.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: That Fly me to the moon, frank Sinatra.
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: I thought you're gonna say maybe Hercules, disney, disney stuff.
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, that could have been it too.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: They'd probably be like what, but they know I'm a dad, so it's not really that surprising.
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, matt, sir Yankees, yankees, okay, true or false?
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: I worked with Peter Lonzo's dad for nearly 15 years.
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: False, true, really.
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well random.
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: I remember hearing about the Peter Lonzo and from my, his dad, pete, for years.
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: And you hear about, like all those kids pretty talented, everybody talks about their kids.
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, next thing.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: No, I'm like holy shit, this dude just won the frickin home run derby.
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: That's really cool.
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty neat.
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: If I was to go to your house tonight, tell me what we would have for dinner.
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: Mmm.
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: Well, that's different, right?
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: Because if you're coming to my house, then I have to cook.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: If you're not coming, then the kids are probably having chicken nuggets and mac and cheese and Laura and I are trying to figure out whatever is in the fridge.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: Otherwise, I make a spaghetti meatballs that would knock your socks off.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: I am a town loves spaghetti balls.
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, that sounds really good.
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, if you were to book a vacation right now, tell me where you, laura going, just you to.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: St Francis.
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: We haven't been yet.
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: We want to go and I think it would be nice to see a white sand beach.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: For once, that does sound outstanding.
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title the unexpected Okay, now the unexpected.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: Brian is crushing it.
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: It's an airport's, everybody's talking about it and Now Holly wants to make a movie out of it and you're the casting director.
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: So I need to know who's going to star the Brian L Susser and this critically claimed hit movie.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: So I've forever gotten that when I have my glasses on I look like Toby of a choir, so I guess it's gonna be Toby.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: I could see that my nickname in a firehouse for a long time was Toby.
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: Solid.
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, and then last question tell me two words that describe your wife.
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: Two words that describe my wife, mm-hmm powerful.
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: Love it patient.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: Mmm the double P love it lighting rounds over.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: We got a good gladiator.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: We learned a lot about you.
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: Curiosity drove a fantastic conversation and I would encourage dads at home Don't let a microphone stop you from having a conversation like this one.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: Your buddies, there's so much we can do.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: Just me, slow down to take time to like get to know bud, ask him some questions.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: The question, brian, I talked about earlier, like find ways to be a better dad, better husband, better friend.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: Be curious and be open-minded to what you might learn and, because learning is a gift we give ourselves To gives you chance to improve your listing skills.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm off my soapbox, but at least want to get that out.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: I will make sure everything's tagged in the show and it's.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: I want to say thank you to latitude Sica.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: Thank you again for all your support.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: I'm so fun going up there in June and visiting a salmon team and learning more about this amazing place.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: So if you're a company, if you're looking for a place to go on a retreat, check out latitude Sica, a Salomon team.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: That was amazing island with great Accommodations, and if you like fishing and like being outside, this is the place to go.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: So, brian, thank you, man, for for spent some time with me.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: It's been great going to know you and I hope our paths continue to cross.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: Amen you as well.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: Thanks, casey, it was a pleasure you.