Latest / The Iconic Midlife with Roxy Manning / Why Women Are Quietly Quitting Their Marriages

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Why Women Are Quietly Quitting Their Marriages · The Iconic Midlife with Roxy Manning

0:00
They're
0:00
afraid
0:00
to
0:00
go
0:00
to
0:00
therapy
0:01
because
0:01
they
0:01
think
0:02
it
0:02
will
0:02
end
0:02
the
0:03
relationship.
0:03
If
0:04
that's
0:04
the
0:04
case,
0:05
it
0:05
was
0:05
meant
0:05
to
0:05
end.
0:06
What
0:07
does
0:07
quietly
0:08
quitting
0:09
mean
0:09
when
0:09
it
0:09
comes
0:10
to
0:10
a
0:10
romantic
0:11
relationship?
0:11
Not
0:12
engaging
0:12
as
0:12
much,
0:13
Starting
0:13
to
0:14
take
0:14
separate
0:14
finances.
0:15
You're
0:15
kind
0:15
of
0:15
testing
0:16
the
0:16
waters
0:16
of
0:16
what
0:16
it
0:17
would
0:17
look
0:17
like
0:17
to
0:17
be
0:17
on
0:18
your
0:18
own.
0:18
And
0:19
my
0:19
mom
0:19
elbowing
0:20
me
0:20
at
0:20
the
0:20
table
0:21
and
0:21
saying,
0:22
ask
0:22
your
0:22
dad
0:23
for
0:23
the
0:23
salt,
0:23
because
0:24
she
0:24
didn't
0:24
even
0:24
want
0:25
to
0:25
talk
0:25
to
0:25
him.
0:26
And
0:26
I
0:26
know
0:26
this
0:26
sounds
0:27
crazy
0:27
and
0:27
unbelievable,
0:29
but
0:29
my
0:29
dad
0:30
didn't
0:30
even
0:31
realize
0:31
it.
0:32
If
0:32
you
0:32
choose
0:32
to
0:33
work
0:33
on
0:33
your
0:33
marriage,
0:33
then
0:34
give
0:34
it
0:34
everything
0:35
you
0:35
have,
0:35
because
0:36
it's
0:37
hard
0:37
in
0:37
these
0:37
streets.
0:38
Okay?
0:40
It's
0:40
hard
0:40
in
0:41
these
0:41
streets.
0:41
Do
0:42
you
0:42
think
0:42
we're
0:42
on
0:42
the
0:42
precipice
0:43
of,
0:43
like,
0:43
redefining
0:44
really
0:44
what
0:44
marriage
0:45
is?
0:45
Quietly
0:46
quitting
0:46
takes
0:46
such
0:47
a
0:47
toll
0:47
on
0:48
women
0:48
emotionally.
0:49
To
0:49
sustain
0:50
that
0:50
type
0:51
of
0:51
resentment
0:52
would
0:52
really
0:52
compromise
0:53
your
0:53
health.
0:53
Those
0:54
things
0:54
are
0:54
key.
0:54
Movement,
0:55
rough
0:55
work,
0:55
journaling
0:56
a
0:56
class
0:56
that
0:56
you
0:57
love.
0:57
I
0:57
spoke
0:57
with
0:57
one
0:58
woman
0:58
who
0:58
said,
0:58
I
0:59
have
0:59
three
0:59
jobs.
1:00
I'm
1:00
a
1:00
mom,
1:00
I'm
1:01
a
1:01
full
1:01
time
1:01
nurse,
1:02
and
1:02
I
1:02
have
1:02
my
1:03
divorce.
1:03
Like,
1:03
that's
1:04
a
1:04
job
1:04
too
1:04
that
1:05
I'm
1:05
working
1:05
on.
1:05
I
1:06
lost
1:06
a
1:06
lot
1:06
in
1:06
my
1:07
divorce,
1:07
and
1:08
I
1:08
feel
1:08
like
1:08
I'm
1:09
starting
1:09
again
1:10
from
1:10
scratch
1:11
at
1:11
middle
1:11
age.
1:16
Today's
1:17
episode
1:17
is
1:17
a
1:18
little
1:18
different,
1:18
and
1:19
honestly,
1:19
one
1:20
of
1:20
the
1:20
most
1:20
important
1:21
conversations
1:21
we've
1:22
had
1:22
on
1:22
this
1:23
show.
1:23
A
1:23
few
1:24
weeks
1:24
ago,
1:24
an
1:24
article
1:25
went
1:25
wildly
1:26
viral
1:26
in
1:27
the
1:27
cut
1:28
with
1:28
a
1:28
headline
1:28
that
1:28
stopped
1:29
a
1:29
lot
1:29
of
1:29
women
1:29
in
1:30
their
1:30
tracks.
1:31
Why
1:31
women
1:32
are
1:32
quietly
1:33
quitting
1:33
their
1:33
husbands.
1:35
Not
1:35
divorcing,
1:36
not
1:36
cheating,
1:37
not
1:37
blowing
1:38
up
1:38
their
1:38
lives,
1:39
just
1:40
emotionally
1:41
checking
1:41
out.
1:42
The
1:43
piece
1:43
struck
1:43
a
1:43
nerve
1:44
because
1:44
it
1:44
named
1:45
something
1:45
many
1:45
women
1:46
have
1:46
been
1:46
living
1:47
for
1:47
decades,
1:48
especially
1:48
in
1:49
midlife,
1:49
but
1:50
never
1:50
had
1:51
language
1:51
for
1:52
the
1:52
slow
1:52
detachment,
1:53
the
1:54
invisible
1:54
labor,
1:55
the
1:55
moment
1:55
you
1:56
realize
1:56
you're
1:56
still
1:57
married
1:57
but
1:57
no
1:58
longer
1:58
really
1:58
in
1:59
the
1:59
marriage.
2:00
Before
2:00
we
2:00
dive
2:01
in,
2:01
if
2:01
this
2:02
is
2:02
your
2:02
first
2:02
time
2:02
here,
2:03
welcome
2:03
to
2:03
the
2:03
iconic
2:04
midlife.
2:05
This
2:05
is
2:05
where
2:05
smart,
2:06
curious
2:06
women
2:07
over
2:07
40
2:07
come
2:07
for
2:08
unfiltered
2:08
conversations
2:09
about
2:10
reinvention,
2:11
identity,
2:12
power,
2:12
and
2:12
everything.
2:13
We're
2:13
not
2:14
supposed
2:14
to
2:14
talk
2:15
out
2:15
loud,
2:16
and
2:16
if
2:16
this
2:16
is
2:16
the
2:17
kind
2:17
of
2:17
conversation
2:18
that
2:18
resonates
2:18
with
2:19
you,
2:19
take
2:20
a
2:20
second
2:20
right
2:20
now
2:21
to
2:21
follow
2:21
the
2:21
show
2:22
on
2:22
your
2:22
favorite
2:22
podcast
2:23
app.
2:24
It
2:24
makes
2:24
a
2:24
huge
2:25
difference
2:25
in
2:25
helping
2:26
more
2:26
women
2:27
find
2:27
these
2:27
conversations.
2:29
Today
2:29
I'm
2:30
joined
2:30
by
2:30
the
2:31
woman
2:31
who
2:31
wrote
2:32
that
2:32
article,
2:33
author
2:33
and
2:33
journalist
2:34
Melissa
2:35
Corcoran
2:36
Harrell,
2:36
whose
2:37
reporting
2:37
weaves
2:38
together
2:38
her
2:38
own
2:38
family
2:39
history
2:39
with
2:40
dozens
2:40
of
2:40
women
2:41
navigating
2:42
this
2:42
exact
2:42
reckoning.
2:43
And
2:44
by
2:44
Melissa
2:44
Chitayne,
2:45
one
2:45
of
2:46
the
2:46
women
2:46
featured
2:46
in
2:47
the
2:47
piece.
2:47
A
2:48
style
2:48
influencer
2:49
and
2:49
on
2:49
air
2:49
fashion
2:50
correspondent
2:51
who
2:51
actually
2:52
lived
2:52
this
2:52
experience
2:53
and
2:54
came
2:54
out
2:54
the
2:54
other
2:55
side.
2:55
This
2:56
is
2:56
not
2:56
a
2:56
conversation
2:57
about
2:57
bashing
2:58
men.
2:58
It's
2:59
not
2:59
about
2:59
telling
2:59
women
3:00
to
3:00
leave
3:00
and
3:01
it's
3:01
definitely
3:01
not
3:02
about
3:02
tidy
3:03
answers.
3:04
It's
3:04
about
3:04
power,
3:06
time,
3:06
desire,
3:07
money,
3:08
identity,
3:09
and
3:09
what
3:10
happens
3:10
when
3:10
women
3:11
in
3:11
midlife
3:12
finally
3:12
stop
3:12
negotiating
3:13
against
3:13
themselves.
3:15
Monica,
3:15
Melissa,
3:16
welcome
3:17
to
3:17
the
3:17
iconic
3:18
midlife.
3:20
I
3:20
have
3:20
to
3:20
say,
3:20
as
3:20
a
3:20
journalist,
3:22
when
3:22
I
3:22
interview
3:23
someone,
3:23
I
3:24
usually
3:24
have
3:24
my
3:25
phone.
3:25
I
3:25
have
3:25
a
3:25
little
3:26
recorder.
3:26
Oh,
3:27
totally.
3:27
Can
3:27
I
3:28
tell
3:28
you
3:28
the
3:28
funniest
3:28
story?
3:29
This
3:30
is
3:30
way
3:30
back
3:30
when
3:31
I
3:31
started
3:31
my
3:31
blog,
3:32
probably
3:33
like
3:33
2008,
3:34
2009.
3:36
And
3:36
I
3:36
was
3:37
interviewing
3:38
Philip
3:38
Lim,
3:39
you
3:39
know
3:39
that
3:39
fashion
3:40
designer,
3:40
like
3:40
3.1
3:41
Philip
3:41
Lem.
3:41
Oh,
3:42
yeah.
3:42
So
3:43
it
3:43
was
3:43
like
3:44
at
3:44
the
3:44
very
3:44
beginning
3:45
I
3:45
was
3:45
still
3:45
kind
3:46
of
3:46
green
3:46
and
3:47
I
3:47
went
3:47
in
3:47
there
3:48
and
3:48
it
3:48
was
3:48
like
3:48
a
3:48
one
3:49
on
3:49
one
3:49
with
3:49
him
3:50
in
3:50
his
3:50
store.
3:50
Store.
3:51
And
3:51
I
3:51
was
3:51
interviewing
3:52
him
3:52
and,
3:52
you
3:53
know,
3:53
asking
3:53
the
3:53
questions.
3:54
I
3:55
left
3:55
the
3:55
store
3:55
and
3:56
I
3:56
had
3:56
forgotten
3:56
to
3:57
push
3:57
record.
3:58
So
3:59
I
3:59
raced
4:00
home.
4:00
This
4:01
is
4:01
like
4:01
without
4:01
a
4:01
camera
4:02
or
4:02
anything.
4:02
I
4:02
had
4:02
like
4:02
one
4:03
of
4:03
those
4:03
little
4:03
voice
4:03
recorders.
4:05
Raced
4:05
home
4:05
and
4:06
immediately
4:06
just
4:06
tried
4:06
to
4:07
do
4:07
a
4:07
brain
4:07
dump
4:08
of
4:08
like
4:08
whatever
4:09
I
4:09
could
4:09
remember
4:10
like
4:10
into
4:11
a
4:11
document.
4:11
You
4:12
know,
4:12
I
4:12
literally
4:12
did
4:13
the
4:13
same
4:13
thing.
4:13
It's
4:14
the
4:14
worst.
4:14
Yes,
4:15
the
4:15
worst.
4:16
And
4:16
I
4:16
was
4:16
sweating
4:16
and
4:17
I
4:17
was
4:17
like,
4:18
you
4:18
know,
4:18
tears
4:18
were
4:19
coming
4:19
out.
4:19
I'm
4:19
like,
4:20
oh
4:20
my
4:20
God.
4:20
Oh
4:20
my
4:20
God.
4:20
I
4:20
cannot
4:21
like
4:21
forget.
4:22
Yeah.
4:22
Although
4:22
I
4:22
did
4:23
the
4:23
same
4:23
thing.
4:23
I
4:23
did
4:23
it
4:24
with
4:24
Steve
4:24
Madden
4:24
though.
4:25
So
4:25
I
4:25
think
4:25
we're
4:25
in
4:25
the
4:25
same.
4:27
Oh,
4:27
you're
4:27
kidding.
4:30
So
4:30
I
4:30
feel
4:31
you,
4:31
girl.
4:31
It's
4:32
stressful.
4:32
Yes,
4:33
yes,
4:33
absolutely.
4:34
And
4:35
perimenopause
4:35
on
4:36
top
4:36
of
4:36
it.
4:36
I'm
4:36
like,
4:37
like,
4:37
I
4:37
don't.
4:38
Or.
4:38
Or
4:39
when
4:39
you
4:39
go
4:39
to
4:39
a
4:40
restaurant
4:40
and
4:40
it's
4:41
really
4:41
loud.
4:42
I
4:42
just
4:42
interviewed
4:42
Halle
4:43
Berry.
4:43
We
4:44
met
4:44
somewhere
4:46
and
4:47
it
4:47
was
4:47
so
4:47
loud
4:48
there
4:48
we
4:48
were
4:48
right
4:49
by.
4:49
First
4:49
we
4:49
moved
4:50
and
4:50
then
4:50
we
4:50
were
4:50
by
4:50
sort
4:51
of
4:51
a
4:51
bar
4:51
area
4:51
and
4:52
they
4:52
just
4:52
happened
4:52
to
4:52
be
4:52
cleaning
4:53
the
4:53
cappuccino
4:54
machine.
4:54
So
4:54
it
4:54
was
4:54
like.
4:56
And
4:56
all
4:57
I
4:57
could
4:57
think
4:57
of
4:57
was
4:57
like
4:58
sending
4:59
it
4:59
to
4:59
a
4:59
transcriber
5:00
and
5:00
getting
5:00
nothing
5:01
back.
5:01
We
5:01
moved
5:02
three
5:02
times
5:02
in
5:02
this
5:02
place.
5:03
Finally
5:04
found
5:04
a
5:04
quiet
5:05
nook.
5:05
But
5:07
I
5:08
mean,
5:08
it
5:08
is
5:08
terrifying
5:09
when
5:10
you
5:10
think
5:10
you
5:10
won't.
5:11
You
5:11
never
5:11
want
5:11
to
5:11
misquote
5:12
someone,
5:12
especially
5:13
nowadays
5:14
and.
5:14
Oh
5:14
yeah.
5:15
Oh
5:15
my
5:16
God,
5:16
absolutely.
5:17
And
5:17
that,
5:17
you
5:17
know,
5:18
when
5:18
you're
5:18
moving
5:18
too
5:18
in
5:19
the
5:19
middle
5:19
of
5:19
an
5:19
interview.
5:19
It
5:20
sort
5:20
of
5:20
like
5:20
throws
5:20
off
5:21
the
5:21
energy
5:21
for
5:21
A
5:21
minute,
5:22
you
5:22
know,
5:22
you're
5:22
like,
5:23
okay,
5:23
hold
5:23
that
5:23
thought.
5:24
We're
5:24
gonna
5:24
get
5:24
up.
5:24
We're
5:25
gonna
5:25
move
5:25
here,
5:25
you
5:26
know,
5:26
like,
5:26
totally.
5:27
I
5:27
know.
5:27
I.
5:28
I
5:28
feel
5:28
you.
5:28
How
5:28
was
5:28
Ms.
5:29
Halle
5:29
Berry,
5:30
though?
5:30
Monica?
5:32
This
5:32
is.
5:32
This
5:33
should
5:33
come
5:33
out
5:33
in
5:33
New
5:33
York
5:34
Magazine
5:34
maybe
5:34
next
5:35
week
5:35
even.
5:36
I
5:37
might
5:38
be
5:38
obsessed
5:39
with
5:39
Halle
5:39
Berry.
5:40
I
5:40
always
5:40
admired
5:41
her
5:41
as
5:41
an
5:42
actress.
5:43
I
5:43
always
5:43
liked
5:44
her.
5:45
But
5:45
we
5:45
had
5:45
such
5:46
a
5:46
great,
5:46
candid
5:47
conversation.
5:48
She's
5:48
incredibly
5:49
honest.
5:50
She's
5:50
able
5:51
to
5:51
translate
5:52
how
5:52
she
5:52
feels
5:53
emotionally
5:53
into
5:54
words,
5:54
which
5:55
I
5:55
think
5:55
is
5:55
a
5:55
real
5:55
skill.
5:56
And
5:57
not
5:57
a
5:57
lot
5:57
of
5:57
actors
5:58
have
5:58
it,
5:59
I
5:59
think,
5:59
because
5:59
you're
5:59
reading
6:00
other
6:00
people's
6:00
words.
6:01
She's
6:02
just.
6:03
And
6:03
really
6:03
thoughtful.
6:04
Just
6:04
really
6:05
smart
6:05
and
6:05
cool
6:07
and
6:07
all
6:08
the
6:08
things.
6:09
And
6:09
such
6:09
an
6:10
activist
6:11
for
6:11
women
6:12
our
6:13
age.
6:13
Such
6:14
a
6:14
menopause
6:14
activist.
6:15
Now,
6:16
listen,
6:16
I
6:16
think
6:16
you're
6:17
a
6:17
little
6:17
younger,
6:17
but,
6:18
like,
6:18
you
6:18
know,
6:19
she
6:19
called
6:19
out
6:19
Gavin
6:20
Newsom
6:21
and,
6:21
wow.
6:22
Not
6:23
for
6:24
not
6:24
supporting
6:24
the
6:25
Menopause
6:25
Care
6:26
Equity
6:26
Act.
6:27
And
6:27
that
6:28
made
6:28
big
6:28
news.
6:28
And
6:29
she
6:29
said,
6:29
look,
6:30
I
6:30
mean,
6:30
she
6:30
said
6:30
this
6:30
publicly.
6:31
If
6:31
you
6:31
want
6:31
to
6:32
run
6:32
for
6:32
president,
6:33
you
6:33
better
6:34
take
6:34
care
6:35
of
6:35
women.
6:35
We're
6:35
half
6:35
the
6:35
population.
6:37
And
6:38
it
6:38
was
6:38
all
6:38
over
6:39
the
6:39
news.
6:39
This
6:39
was
6:39
maybe
6:39
a
6:40
month
6:40
ago.
6:40
And
6:40
then
6:41
I
6:41
just
6:41
did
6:41
follow
6:41
up
6:42
with
6:42
her.
6:42
And
6:43
he
6:43
said,
6:43
like,
6:43
oh,
6:43
I'm
6:44
going
6:44
to
6:44
reconcile
6:44
this
6:44
with
6:45
Hallie.
6:45
And
6:45
I
6:45
said,
6:45
have
6:45
you
6:46
heard
6:46
from
6:46
his
6:46
office?
6:46
And
6:47
she
6:47
said,
6:47
no.
6:49
Interesting.
6:50
That
6:50
is
6:50
really
6:51
interesting.
6:51
Very
6:51
interesting.
6:52
Yes.
6:52
And
6:52
I'm
6:53
so.
6:53
I'm
6:53
so
6:53
glad
6:53
that
6:54
she
6:54
is
6:54
one
6:54
of
6:54
the
6:54
public
6:55
figures
6:55
that
6:55
actually
6:56
puts
6:56
her
6:57
money,
6:57
you
6:57
know,
6:57
where
6:58
her
6:58
mouth
6:58
is,
6:58
like,
6:59
really
6:59
stands
7:00
up
7:00
for
7:00
it,
7:00
like
7:00
you're
7:00
saying,
7:01
and
7:01
is,
7:01
you
7:02
know,
7:02
not
7:02
afraid
7:03
to
7:03
show
7:03
on
7:03
social
7:04
media,
7:05
you
7:05
know,
7:06
all
7:06
the
7:06
sides
7:06
of
7:06
what
7:07
perimenopause
7:07
and
7:08
menopause
7:08
can
7:08
look
7:09
like,
7:09
you
7:09
know,
7:09
because
7:09
it
7:10
is.
7:10
It
7:10
is
7:11
one
7:11
of
7:11
those
7:11
things
7:11
where
7:12
it
7:12
changes,
7:12
like,
7:13
dayto
7:13
day.
7:13
You
7:13
know,
7:14
I
7:14
think
7:14
being
7:15
in
7:15
this
7:15
midlife
7:16
space,
7:16
you
7:17
know,
7:17
it
7:18
opens
7:18
your
7:18
mind
7:19
to
7:19
a
7:19
lot
7:19
of
7:19
different
7:20
things,
7:20
right?
7:20
Like,
7:21
not
7:21
only
7:21
is
7:21
your
7:21
body
7:22
changing,
7:22
and
7:22
we're
7:22
sort
7:23
of
7:23
going
7:23
through
7:23
that,
7:23
like,
7:24
that
7:24
side
7:24
of,
7:25
like,
7:25
the
7:25
physicality
7:26
and
7:26
the
7:26
biology
7:26
and
7:27
all
7:27
that
7:27
kind
7:27
of
7:27
stuff,
7:28
but
7:28
people
7:29
are
7:29
rethinking
7:30
their
7:30
relationships,
7:31
you
7:31
know,
7:32
rethinking
7:32
friendships,
7:34
relationships,
7:35
and
7:35
kind
7:35
of,
7:35
you
7:36
know,
7:37
really
7:37
trying
7:37
to
7:37
calibrate,
7:38
recalibrate,
7:39
you
7:39
know,
7:39
their
7:39
lives
7:40
in
7:40
that
7:40
way.
7:40
Which
7:41
is,
7:41
I
7:41
think,
7:42
one
7:42
of
7:42
the
7:42
most
7:42
interesting
7:43
parts
7:43
of
7:44
this
7:44
whole
7:44
midlife
7:44
thing.
7:45
And
7:45
which
7:45
is
7:45
why,
7:45
like,
7:46
I'm
7:46
so
7:47
excited
7:47
you
7:47
guys
7:47
are
7:48
joining
7:48
today
7:49
on
7:49
the
7:49
Iconic
7:49
Midlife.
7:50
Because
7:51
I
7:51
think
7:52
that
7:53
you
7:53
guys
7:53
have
7:54
really
7:54
tapped
7:54
into
7:54
something
7:56
and
7:56
we'll
7:57
get
7:57
more
7:57
into
7:57
it,
7:57
but
7:58
just
7:58
to
7:58
kind
7:58
of
7:58
give
7:58
everyone
7:59
background.
8:00
Monica,
8:01
you
8:01
know,
8:01
you're
8:01
an
8:01
author.
8:02
You're
8:02
a
8:02
journalist.
8:03
You
8:04
wrote
8:04
this
8:04
amazing,
8:04
amazing
8:05
piece
8:06
for
8:06
the
8:07
Cut,
8:07
which
8:07
ended
8:07
up
8:08
going
8:08
totally
8:09
viral.
8:10
And
8:11
it
8:11
was
8:12
an
8:12
article
8:12
about
8:13
why
8:14
women
8:14
in
8:14
midlife
8:15
are
8:15
quietly
8:15
quitting
8:16
their
8:16
husbands.
8:17
Which
8:18
I
8:18
can't
8:18
say
8:19
that,
8:19
like,
8:19
you
8:19
know,
8:20
I
8:20
mean,
8:20
I'm
8:20
sure
8:20
that
8:21
that
8:21
has
8:21
gone
8:21
through
8:21
the
8:22
minds
8:22
of
8:22
many
8:22
a
8:23
woman
8:23
at
8:24
this
8:24
stage
8:24
in
8:24
life.
8:25
And,
8:26
Melissa,
8:27
you
8:27
were
8:27
one
8:27
of
8:28
Monica's
8:28
subjects
8:29
in
8:29
the
8:29
article
8:30
who
8:30
actually
8:31
did
8:31
quietly
8:32
quit
8:32
her
8:32
husband.
8:33
So,
8:33
I
8:34
mean,
8:34
this
8:35
episode
8:35
is
8:35
going
8:36
to
8:36
be
8:36
so
8:36
freaking
8:36
juicy
8:37
because,
8:37
I
8:37
mean,
8:38
again,
8:38
I
8:39
think
8:39
it
8:39
is
8:39
something
8:39
that,
8:39
like,
8:40
we're
8:41
not
8:41
really
8:41
talking
8:41
about
8:42
fully,
8:42
but
8:43
this
8:43
article
8:43
has
8:44
really,
8:45
you
8:45
know,
8:45
changed
8:46
the
8:46
way
8:46
that
8:46
people
8:47
are
8:47
opening
8:47
up
8:48
about
8:48
the.
8:48
This
8:49
thing,
8:49
you
8:49
know?
8:50
So
8:50
first
8:51
off,
8:51
Monica,
8:52
like,
8:52
when
8:53
you
8:53
were
8:53
writing
8:53
this
8:54
article,
8:54
did
8:54
you,
8:55
like,
8:55
think,
8:55
oh,
8:56
my
8:56
God,
8:56
this
8:56
is
8:56
going
8:56
to
8:56
go
8:56
viral.
8:57
This
8:57
is
8:57
going
8:57
to
8:57
be,
8:57
like,
8:58
huge.
8:59
Like,
8:59
were
8:59
you
8:59
prepared
9:00
for
9:00
that?
9:01
I.
9:02
Well,
9:02
when
9:02
my
9:03
editor
9:03
reached
9:03
out
9:04
to
9:04
me,
9:04
we
9:04
were
9:04
on
9:05
a
9:05
phone
9:05
call.
9:05
My
9:05
editor
9:06
at
9:06
the
9:06
Cut
9:07
said,
9:07
we
9:08
have
9:08
an
9:08
upcoming
9:08
issue
9:08
about
9:09
women
9:09
in
9:09
divorce.
9:10
Do
9:10
you
9:10
have
9:10
any
9:10
ideas?
9:11
Maybe,
9:11
you
9:12
know,
9:12
how
9:12
do
9:13
women
9:13
prepare
9:14
for
9:14
it?
9:14
What
9:14
are
9:15
women
9:15
doing
9:15
in
9:15
the
9:15
aftermath?
9:16
And
9:16
I
9:16
whispered
9:17
to
9:17
her,
9:17
what
9:18
about
9:18
women
9:18
who
9:19
are
9:19
getting
9:19
divorced
9:20
but
9:20
not.
9:21
And
9:21
she
9:21
said
9:22
to
9:22
me,
9:22
we
9:22
were
9:22
on
9:22
the
9:23
phone,
9:23
what
9:23
are
9:23
you
9:23
talking
9:23
about?
9:24
And
9:24
I
9:24
said,
9:25
I
9:25
think
9:25
there's
9:25
something
9:26
happening
9:26
where
9:27
people
9:27
are
9:28
living
9:28
divorced,
9:29
but
9:29
not
9:29
necessarily
9:30
going
9:30
through
9:31
the
9:31
act.
9:32
And
9:32
it
9:32
was
9:32
a
9:32
bit
9:33
of
9:33
a
9:33
hunch,
9:33
just
9:33
based
9:34
on,
9:34
you
9:34
know,
9:35
conversations
9:35
I've
9:36
had
9:36
with
9:36
women.
9:36
Stories
9:37
I'd
9:37
read,
9:38
um,
9:39
hearing
9:40
people
9:40
talk,
9:40
hearing
9:41
women
9:41
talk
9:41
about
9:41
feeling
9:42
disengaged
9:42
from
9:42
their
9:43
husbands
9:44
or
9:44
their
9:44
partners.
9:45
Um,
9:46
so
9:46
when
9:46
I
9:47
started
9:47
working
9:47
on
9:48
it
9:48
and
9:48
reporting
9:49
and
9:49
finding
9:49
people
9:50
to
9:50
talk
9:50
to,
9:50
like
9:51
Melissa,
9:52
I
9:52
thought,
9:53
this
9:53
story
9:53
is
9:54
going
9:54
to
9:54
make
9:54
an
9:54
impact.
9:55
I
9:55
didn't
9:56
realize
9:56
that
9:57
it
9:57
would
9:57
end
9:57
up
9:58
Japan
9:59
and
9:59
India,
9:59
in
10:00
Australia,
10:00
like,
10:01
I
10:01
knew
10:02
it
10:02
would
10:02
make
10:02
a
10:02
dent,
10:03
particularly
10:04
in
10:04
CITIES
10:04
in
10:04
the
10:05
U.S.
10:05
i
10:05
think,
10:06
where
10:07
women
10:07
are
10:07
maybe
10:08
more
10:08
inclined
10:09
to
10:09
divorce.
10:10
But
10:10
I
10:10
did
10:11
not
10:11
think
10:11
it
10:11
would
10:11
have
10:12
such
10:12
a
10:12
global
10:14
impact.
10:15
And
10:15
it
10:16
truly
10:16
did.
10:16
I
10:17
mean,
10:17
it
10:17
truly
10:17
did.
10:17
It
10:18
came
10:18
out,
10:19
you
10:19
know,
10:19
several
10:20
weeks
10:20
ago,
10:20
but
10:20
people
10:21
are
10:21
still
10:21
talking
10:22
about
10:22
it.
10:22
And,
10:23
I
10:23
mean,
10:23
as
10:23
soon
10:23
as
10:24
I
10:24
let
10:24
my
10:24
friend
10:24
group
10:25
know
10:25
that
10:25
I
10:25
was
10:26
having
10:26
the
10:26
two
10:26
of
10:26
you
10:26
on,
10:27
they
10:27
were
10:27
like,
10:27
oh,
10:27
my
10:28
God,
10:28
we
10:28
cannot
10:29
wait
10:29
to
10:29
hear
10:29
more
10:30
about
10:30
this
10:30
episode.
10:31
So
10:32
before
10:32
we
10:32
totally
10:33
go
10:33
into
10:33
it,
10:33
I
10:33
just
10:34
want
10:34
to,
10:34
like,
10:34
kind
10:34
of,
10:34
for
10:34
everyone
10:35
listening,
10:35
kind
10:36
of
10:36
definitely
10:36
define
10:37
what
10:37
that
10:37
term
10:38
means
10:38
what
10:38
does
10:39
quietly
10:39
quitting
10:40
mean
10:41
when
10:41
it
10:41
comes
10:41
to
10:41
a
10:42
romantic
10:42
relationship
10:43
versus
10:43
let's
10:44
say
10:44
like
10:44
just
10:44
a
10:45
full
10:45
on
10:45
divorce
10:45
or
10:46
separation?
10:47
Well,
10:48
speaking
10:48
from
10:48
someone
10:49
who's
10:49
been
10:49
through
10:49
it,
10:50
it's
10:51
really
10:52
looking
10:53
at
10:53
your
10:53
life
10:53
realizing
10:54
that
10:54
things
10:55
are
10:55
not.
10:56
Your
10:56
marriage
10:56
isn't
10:57
working
10:57
the
10:57
way
10:57
it
10:57
should.
10:58
Maybe
10:59
you've
10:59
made
10:59
an
10:59
effort
11:00
to
11:00
reconcile
11:02
differences
11:03
that
11:03
you
11:03
not,
11:04
you're
11:04
not
11:04
feeling
11:04
loved,
11:05
supported,
11:05
financially,
11:06
emotionally,
11:07
whatever
11:07
that
11:07
being
11:07
is.
11:08
And
11:08
then
11:08
you
11:08
realize
11:09
there's
11:09
no
11:09
resolution.
11:10
I
11:10
think
11:11
for
11:11
me
11:11
it
11:11
came
11:12
pretty
11:13
much
11:13
it
11:13
came
11:14
a
11:14
while
11:14
before,
11:14
but
11:15
towards
11:15
the
11:15
end
11:16
it
11:16
was
11:16
really
11:16
just,
11:17
it
11:17
was
11:17
the
11:17
end.
11:17
But
11:18
it's
11:18
this,
11:18
it's
11:18
the
11:19
slight
11:19
distance,
11:19
it's
11:20
the
11:21
always
11:21
taking
11:21
into
11:22
events
11:22
and
11:22
slightly
11:23
pulling
11:23
away
11:24
and
11:24
not
11:24
engaging
11:25
as
11:25
much
11:25
and
11:26
starting
11:26
to
11:26
keep
11:27
separate
11:27
finances
11:28
and
11:28
starting
11:28
to
11:28
do
11:28
a
11:29
lot
11:29
of
11:29
the
11:29
things
11:29
that,
11:30
that
11:30
you're
11:31
kind
11:31
of
11:31
testing
11:31
the
11:31
waters
11:32
of
11:32
what
11:32
it
11:32
would
11:32
look
11:33
like
11:33
to
11:33
be
11:33
on
11:33
your
11:34
own.
11:34
And
11:35
for
11:35
me
11:35
that
11:35
was
11:35
the
11:35
biggest
11:36
hot
11:37
button
11:37
that
11:37
I
11:38
realized
11:38
I
11:38
was
11:38
quietly
11:39
quitting.
11:39
And
11:39
when,
11:40
you
11:40
know,
11:40
Monica
11:40
posted
11:41
about
11:41
this
11:41
article
11:42
that
11:42
she
11:42
was
11:42
looking
11:43
for
11:43
women,
11:44
that's
11:44
so
11:44
me
11:45
because
11:45
I
11:46
really
11:46
did
11:46
that.
11:46
And
11:47
you
11:47
know,
11:48
for
11:48
those
11:48
listening,
11:48
it's
11:49
not
11:49
ideal,
11:49
it's
11:50
not
11:50
something
11:50
that
11:50
we
11:51
all
11:51
would
11:51
want
11:51
to
11:51
be.
11:52
I
11:52
trust
11:52
me,
11:52
I
11:52
would
11:53
have
11:53
loved
11:53
to
11:53
have
11:53
had
11:54
a
11:54
different
11:54
outcome.
11:55
But
11:56
it's
11:56
choosing
11:56
yourself
11:57
and
11:57
no
11:57
longer
11:59
living
11:59
in
12:00
a
12:00
unbalanced,
12:01
unloved
12:02
relationship.
12:03
And
12:03
that's
12:03
for
12:04
me
12:04
it
12:04
was,
12:04
that
12:04
was
12:05
the
12:05
deciding
12:05
factor
12:06
when
12:06
I
12:06
started
12:06
to
12:06
pull
12:06
away.
12:07
And
12:07
that
12:07
is
12:07
the
12:07
start
12:08
of
12:08
quietly
12:08
quitting
12:09
in
12:09
whatever
12:09
capacity
12:10
that
12:10
is
12:10
for
12:10
the
12:11
partner.
12:11
And
12:11
when
12:11
I
12:12
think
12:12
about
12:12
other
12:12
marriages,
12:13
truly,
12:14
I
12:14
look
12:14
at
12:14
my
12:15
grandparents
12:15
that
12:15
came
12:16
to
12:16
this
12:16
country,
12:17
they
12:17
were
12:17
Haitian
12:17
immigrants.
12:18
And
12:19
I
12:19
learned
12:20
that
12:20
they
12:20
were
12:20
basically
12:21
in
12:21
a
12:21
quiet
12:22
divorce
12:23
like
12:24
for
12:24
a
12:25
long
12:25
time
12:25
they,
12:25
they
12:26
were
12:26
separated,
12:27
technically
12:27
not
12:28
divorced,
12:28
but
12:29
he
12:29
had
12:29
his
12:30
own
12:30
life,
12:30
my
12:30
grandma
12:31
had
12:31
her
12:31
own
12:31
life.
12:31
And
12:31
they
12:32
were
12:32
basically
12:32
quietly
12:33
quit.
12:33
And
12:33
that
12:33
is
12:34
something
12:34
for
12:34
being
12:35
Catholic
12:36
and
12:36
that
12:36
it's
12:37
not,
12:37
it's
12:37
highly
12:37
frowned
12:38
upon
12:38
for
12:38
divorce.
12:39
They
12:39
didn't
12:39
want
12:39
to
12:39
get
12:39
divorced
12:40
that
12:40
era,
12:40
they
12:40
had
12:41
eight
12:41
children.
12:42
So
12:42
basically
12:42
it
12:42
was
12:43
like
12:43
they
12:44
quietly
12:44
quit
12:44
their
12:44
marriage.
12:45
So
12:45
this
12:45
is
12:45
not
12:45
something,
12:45
this
12:46
is
12:46
why
12:46
the
12:46
article
12:46
hit
12:47
to
12:47
all
12:48
these
12:48
other
12:48
countries
12:48
because
12:49
culturally
12:49
it
12:49
may
12:50
not
12:50
be,
12:50
I
12:51
may
12:51
be
12:51
frowned
12:51
upon
12:52
to
12:52
have
12:52
a
12:52
divorce,
12:53
but
12:53
it's
12:53
already
12:53
happening
12:54
within
12:54
the
12:54
home.
12:55
That's
12:56
so
12:56
true.
12:57
I
12:57
just
12:57
want
12:57
to
12:58
chime
12:58
in
12:58
and
12:58
say
12:59
that
12:59
my
13:00
parents,
13:01
you
13:01
know,
13:01
my
13:01
mom
13:02
did
13:02
not
13:02
talk
13:02
to
13:02
my
13:03
dad
13:03
for
13:03
an
13:03
entire
13:04
year,
13:04
which
13:04
I
13:04
mentioned
13:05
in
13:05
the
13:05
article.
13:05
And
13:05
I
13:06
remember
13:06
being
13:06
a
13:07
kid
13:07
and
13:07
my
13:07
mom
13:07
elbowing
13:08
me
13:08
at
13:08
the
13:09
table
13:09
and
13:09
saying,
13:10
ask
13:11
your
13:11
dad
13:11
for
13:11
the
13:11
salt,
13:12
because
13:13
she
13:13
didn't
13:13
even
13:13
want
13:13
to
13:14
talk
13:14
to
13:14
him.
13:15
And
13:15
I
13:15
know
13:15
this
13:15
sounds
13:16
crazy
13:16
and
13:16
unbelievable,
13:18
but
13:18
my
13:18
dad
13:19
didn't
13:19
even
13:20
realize
13:20
it.
13:21
And
13:21
that
13:21
speaks
13:22
to
13:22
how
13:22
disengaged
13:23
men
13:23
are.
13:24
But
13:24
a
13:24
lot
13:25
of
13:25
women
13:25
did
13:25
ask
13:26
me,
13:26
what
13:26
does
13:26
that
13:26
mean,
13:27
quietly
13:27
quitting?
13:27
And
13:28
I
13:28
think
13:28
that
13:28
if
13:29
you
13:29
just
13:29
take
13:30
the
13:30
analogy
13:31
that's
13:31
used
13:33
when
13:33
you
13:33
talk
13:34
about
13:34
quietly
13:34
quitting
13:34
your
13:35
job,
13:35
you
13:35
know,
13:35
you
13:35
start
13:36
stealing
13:36
staplers,
13:37
right?
13:38
You
13:38
see,
13:38
you
13:39
get
13:39
in
13:39
late,
13:39
maybe
13:40
you
13:40
have
13:40
a
13:40
hangover,
13:41
you
13:41
know,
13:42
you
13:42
get.
13:42
You
13:42
arrive
13:43
late
13:43
to
13:43
the
13:43
meeting
13:43
or
13:44
you
13:44
don't
13:44
prepare,
13:44
prepare
13:45
for
13:45
it.
13:45
And
13:45
I
13:45
think
13:46
in
13:46
marriages,
13:47
which
13:47
are
13:47
work
13:48
too,
13:48
you
13:49
know,
13:49
you
13:49
stop
13:49
listening
13:50
when
13:50
your,
13:51
your
13:51
partner
13:52
calls
13:52
to
13:52
you.
13:52
You
13:53
maybe
13:53
don't
13:53
come
13:54
as
13:55
quickly
13:55
as
13:55
you
13:56
used
13:56
to,
13:56
or
13:56
you
13:56
don't
13:57
even
13:57
think
13:57
about
13:57
your
13:57
productivity
13:58
or
13:59
your
13:59
reciprocity
14:00
in
14:00
a
14:00
relationship.
14:01
So
14:02
it
14:02
is
14:02
just
14:02
like
14:03
a
14:03
job.
14:03
And
14:03
I
14:04
think
14:04
stealing
14:04
the
14:05
stapler
14:05
is
14:06
like
14:06
starting
14:06
to
14:07
look
14:07
at
14:07
your
14:07
finances
14:08
as.
14:08
Okay,
14:08
I'm
14:09
going
14:09
to
14:09
squirrel
14:09
this
14:10
aside
14:10
because
14:11
I
14:11
don't
14:11
know
14:12
that
14:12
I
14:12
want
14:12
to
14:12
be
14:12
in
14:13
this
14:13
for
14:13
long
14:13
term
14:14
and
14:14
I
14:14
want
14:14
to
14:14
make
14:14
sure
14:14
I
14:14
have
14:15
my
14:15
own
14:15
assets.
14:16
Yeah,
14:17
no,
14:17
it's.
14:17
It's
14:18
a
14:18
great
14:18
point
14:18
you
14:19
got.
14:19
Actually,
14:19
both
14:19
of
14:20
you
14:20
bring
14:20
up
14:20
about
14:20
the
14:21
generational
14:22
cycle
14:23
of
14:23
this,
14:23
because
14:24
whether
14:25
there
14:25
was
14:25
like
14:25
a
14:25
term
14:26
for
14:26
it,
14:26
you
14:26
know,
14:27
50
14:27
years
14:27
ago
14:27
or
14:28
not,
14:29
it
14:29
was
14:29
happening,
14:30
you
14:30
know,
14:30
back
14:30
then.
14:31
And
14:31
maybe
14:32
women
14:32
at
14:33
that
14:33
time
14:33
didn't
14:33
have,
14:34
you
14:35
know,
14:35
maybe
14:36
the
14:36
finances
14:37
or
14:37
maybe,
14:38
you
14:38
know,
14:38
like
14:38
it
14:39
was
14:39
cultural,
14:39
it
14:39
was
14:40
religious,
14:40
like
14:41
different
14:41
reasons
14:42
why
14:42
they
14:43
might
14:43
have
14:43
just
14:43
stayed
14:44
in
14:44
it.
14:45
But
14:46
why
14:46
do
14:46
you
14:46
think
14:47
now
14:47
it's
14:48
become
14:49
even
14:49
so
14:50
much
14:50
more
14:50
accepted
14:51
to
14:51
do
14:51
it,
14:52
you
14:52
know,
14:52
to
14:52
really
14:53
kind
14:53
of
14:54
figure
14:54
this
14:54
out.
14:56
Well,
14:57
when
14:57
you
14:57
say
14:57
accepted
14:58
as
14:58
it's
14:58
not
14:58
frowned
14:59
upon
14:59
or
14:59
is
14:59
this.
14:59
It's
15:00
more
15:00
seen
15:00
that
15:00
people
15:00
have
15:00
different
15:01
lives
15:01
because
15:02
we
15:02
can
15:02
look
15:02
at
15:03
it
15:03
from
15:03
quietly
15:03
quitting
15:04
and
15:04
then
15:04
seeing
15:04
the
15:05
rise
15:05
of
15:05
married
15:06
men
15:06
on
15:06
dating
15:06
apps
15:07
that
15:07
are
15:08
in
15:08
these
15:08
poly
15:09
open
15:09
relationship
15:10
marriages.
15:10
So
15:11
that
15:11
could
15:11
be
15:12
a
15:12
sector
15:12
of
15:12
it.
15:13
I
15:13
think
15:13
after
15:14
the
15:14
pandemic,
15:14
after
15:15
women
15:16
were
15:16
living
15:16
in
15:16
the
15:17
house
15:17
with
15:17
their
15:17
partners,
15:18
realizing
15:19
how
15:19
much
15:19
work
15:19
they
15:19
were
15:19
doing,
15:20
not
15:20
having
15:20
ability
15:21
to
15:21
have
15:21
personal
15:21
space,
15:22
still
15:22
having
15:23
to
15:23
have
15:23
these
15:23
traditional
15:24
marriage
15:25
roles
15:25
of
15:25
cooking,
15:26
cleaning,
15:26
taking
15:26
care
15:27
of
15:27
the
15:27
kids,
15:27
thankfully,
15:28
just
15:28
speaking
15:29
from,
15:29
I
15:29
do
15:30
not
15:30
have
15:30
children.
15:30
I
15:30
just
15:30
have
15:31
the
15:31
best
15:31
on
15:31
endeavor.
15:32
But
15:32
realizing
15:32
that
15:33
you're
15:33
doing
15:33
all
15:33
this
15:33
and
15:34
that
15:34
your
15:34
partner
15:34
is,
15:35
is
15:35
still
15:35
not
15:35
holding
15:35
up
15:36
his
15:36
end
15:36
of
15:36
what
15:36
you
15:37
wanted
15:37
your
15:37
relationship
15:38
to
15:38
be
15:38
or
15:38
what
15:38
you
15:38
guys
15:39
originally
15:39
agreed
15:39
up.
15:40
Then
15:40
it's
15:40
like,
15:40
wait,
15:41
what
15:41
are
15:41
we
15:41
doing
15:42
after
15:42
pizza?
15:43
It's
15:43
kind
15:43
of
15:43
like,
15:43
why
15:44
am
15:44
I
15:44
going
15:44
to
15:44
sit
15:44
here
15:44
in
15:44
this
15:45
mess
15:45
now?
15:46
I
15:46
have
15:46
to
15:46
say,
15:46
the
15:47
relationship.
15:47
The
15:47
problems
15:47
in
15:47
my
15:48
relationship
15:48
started
15:48
way
15:49
before
15:49
pandemic.
15:50
And
15:51
during
15:51
that
15:52
time,
15:52
we.
15:53
We
15:53
were
15:54
not.
15:54
I
15:55
mean,
15:55
we
15:55
were.
15:55
Let's
15:56
say,
15:56
okay,
15:56
we
15:57
were
15:57
working
15:57
through
15:57
things,
15:59
but.
15:59
But
16:00
I
16:00
feel
16:00
like
16:00
it's
16:00
more
16:00
steppable
16:01
now
16:01
because
16:02
we
16:02
realize
16:03
how
16:03
short
16:03
life
16:04
is,
16:04
how
16:04
things
16:04
are
16:05
so
16:05
fickle,
16:06
and
16:06
how
16:07
we
16:07
don't.
16:08
How
16:08
we.
16:09
People
16:09
are
16:09
getting
16:09
sick.
16:10
And
16:10
I
16:10
mean,
16:10
so
16:10
many
16:11
women
16:11
our
16:11
age
16:12
are.
16:13
Are
16:13
getting
16:13
breast
16:14
cancer
16:14
and
16:14
dying
16:14
before
16:15
they
16:15
turn
16:15
40.
16:16
You
16:16
don't
16:17
want
16:17
to
16:17
stay
16:17
in
16:17
shit,
16:18
and
16:18
I
16:19
swear
16:19
I'm
16:19
here.
16:19
You
16:19
just
16:19
don't
16:20
want
16:20
to
16:20
stay
16:20
in
16:20
an
16:20
uncomfortable
16:21
situation
16:21
and
16:22
be
16:22
miserable.
16:23
And
16:23
so
16:24
it's
16:24
dipping
16:24
the
16:24
toe
16:25
into
16:25
seeing
16:25
what
16:25
would
16:26
life
16:26
look
16:26
like
16:27
outside
16:27
of
16:27
that
16:27
partnership
16:28
and
16:29
trying
16:29
it
16:29
out.
16:30
As
16:30
we
16:30
know,
16:30
most
16:31
women
16:31
are
16:31
the
16:31
ones
16:32
who
16:32
file
16:32
for
16:32
divorce.
16:33
As
16:33
Monica
16:34
said,
16:34
her
16:34
father
16:34
didn't
16:34
even
16:34
realize
16:35
he
16:35
was
16:35
getting
16:35
quietly
16:36
clit
16:36
on.
16:37
And
16:37
so
16:37
women,
16:38
you
16:38
know,
16:38
withdraw
16:39
emotion,
16:39
start
16:40
to
16:40
put
16:40
on
16:40
their
16:40
own
16:41
gas
16:41
mask
16:41
in
16:41
the
16:41
best
16:42
way
16:42
they
16:42
can.
16:43
And
16:43
I
16:44
guess
16:44
that's
16:44
more
16:44
acceptable
16:45
choosing
16:45
you,
16:45
if
16:46
that's
16:46
the
16:46
reality
16:47
of
16:47
it.
16:48
I
16:48
think
16:48
there's
16:48
a
16:49
huge
16:49
factor,
16:49
which
16:50
is
16:50
that
16:50
midlife
16:51
has
16:51
changed
16:51
for
16:52
women.
16:53
Midlife
16:54
is
16:54
no
16:54
longer
16:54
an
16:55
ending.
16:55
In
16:55
fact,
16:56
there
16:56
is
16:56
this
16:57
current
16:57
of
16:58
empowerment
16:58
around
16:59
midlife
16:59
right
17:00
now.
17:00
I
17:00
mean,
17:00
women
17:00
have
17:01
really
17:01
come
17:01
together
17:02
when
17:02
it
17:02
comes
17:02
to
17:03
health
17:03
issues
17:04
like
17:04
menopause
17:05
and
17:05
breast
17:05
cancer
17:06
and
17:06
careers
17:07
and
17:07
supporting
17:08
each
17:08
other,
17:08
but
17:09
realizing
17:09
that,
17:10
you
17:11
know,
17:11
turning
17:11
40
17:11
or
17:12
50
17:12
is
17:12
not
17:12
the
17:13
end
17:13
of
17:13
your
17:13
life.
17:13
For
17:13
a
17:14
lot
17:14
of
17:14
women,
17:14
it's
17:14
the
17:15
beginning.
17:16
And
17:16
I
17:17
do
17:17
think
17:17
that.
17:17
And
17:18
I'm
17:18
working
17:18
on
17:18
a
17:18
book
17:19
about
17:19
midlife
17:20
marriage
17:20
right
17:21
now.
17:21
So
17:21
I've
17:21
been
17:21
doing
17:22
some
17:22
really
17:22
deep
17:22
dives.
17:23
But
17:24
I
17:24
do
17:24
think
17:24
that
17:25
for
17:25
a
17:25
lot
17:25
of
17:26
women
17:26
who
17:26
are
17:27
quietly
17:27
quitting
17:27
and
17:28
maybe
17:28
not
17:28
exiting,
17:29
part
17:29
of
17:29
it
17:29
is
17:31
they're
17:31
going
17:31
through
17:31
this
17:31
renaissance.
17:32
They're
17:33
evolving,
17:33
they're
17:34
pivoting
17:34
in
17:34
their
17:35
lives,
17:36
and
17:36
their
17:36
husbands
17:37
are
17:38
pretty
17:38
stagnant.
17:39
Right?
17:39
Maybe
17:39
they're
17:39
not
17:40
evolving
17:41
in
17:41
any
17:41
way,
17:42
so
17:42
therefore
17:42
the
17:42
relationship's
17:43
not
17:43
growing
17:44
the
17:44
way
17:44
they
17:44
are.
17:45
And
17:45
some
17:45
of
17:46
these
17:46
women,
17:47
I
17:47
know
17:47
this
17:47
sounds
17:48
sad,
17:48
but
17:48
they
17:48
don't
17:49
even
17:49
really
17:49
have
17:49
the
17:50
time
17:50
to
17:50
wrap
17:50
their
17:51
mind
17:51
around
17:51
the
17:51
idea
17:52
of
17:52
getting
17:52
divorced.
17:52
Divorce
17:53
devours
17:53
a
17:54
lot
17:54
of
17:54
time,
17:54
energy,
17:55
and
17:55
money,
17:56
and
17:56
you
17:57
might
17:57
be
17:57
taking
17:57
care
17:58
of
17:58
your
17:58
kids
17:58
and
17:59
also
17:59
your
18:00
parents
18:00
as
18:00
well.
18:00
We're
18:01
the
18:01
sandwich
18:01
generation,
18:02
so
18:03
a
18:03
lot
18:03
of
18:03
Us
18:03
have
18:04
kids
18:04
and
18:05
then
18:05
we're
18:05
caretakers
18:06
to
18:06
parents.
18:07
I
18:07
mean,
18:07
can
18:08
you
18:08
just
18:08
imagine
18:08
how
18:09
many
18:09
jobs
18:09
you're
18:10
juggling
18:10
and
18:10
now
18:10
you're
18:11
going
18:11
to
18:11
try
18:12
and
18:13
get
18:13
a
18:13
divorce?
18:13
On
18:13
top
18:14
of
18:14
that,
18:14
I
18:14
spoke
18:14
with
18:15
one
18:15
woman
18:15
who
18:15
said,
18:16
I
18:16
have
18:16
three
18:16
jobs.
18:17
I'm
18:17
a
18:17
mom,
18:18
I'm
18:18
a
18:18
full
18:18
time
18:19
nurse
18:19
in
18:19
an
18:19
er,
18:20
and
18:21
I
18:21
have
18:21
my
18:21
divorce.
18:22
Like
18:22
that's
18:22
a
18:22
job
18:23
too,
18:23
that
18:23
I'm
18:23
working
18:24
on.
18:24
Eventually
18:25
that'll
18:25
be
18:25
done.
18:26
But
18:26
I
18:27
just
18:27
want
18:27
to
18:27
point
18:27
out
18:28
that
18:28
it
18:28
is
18:29
a
18:30
huge
18:30
undertaking.
18:32
You're
18:32
already
18:32
overwhelmed
18:33
in
18:33
life.
18:34
I
18:35
also,
18:35
I
18:36
also
18:36
realize
18:37
that
18:37
some
18:37
women
18:38
don't
18:38
want
18:38
to
18:38
make
18:38
the
18:39
leap
18:39
because
18:39
it's
18:40
not
18:40
easy
18:40
starting
18:41
over.
18:41
I
18:42
myself
18:42
have,
18:43
I
18:43
lost
18:44
a
18:44
lot
18:44
of
18:44
my
18:44
divorce
18:45
and
18:45
I
18:46
feel
18:46
like
18:46
I'm
18:47
starting
18:47
again
18:47
from
18:48
scratch
18:49
at
18:49
middle
18:49
age.
18:50
And
18:52
it's
18:52
difficult
18:52
to
18:52
do
18:53
that
18:53
and
18:53
it's
18:53
been
18:53
a
18:54
rough
18:54
couple
18:55
of
18:55
years,
18:55
but
18:55
I
18:56
realize
18:56
I'm
18:57
glad.
18:57
No
18:57
regrets.
18:58
Absolutely
18:58
no
18:58
regrets.
18:59
But
18:59
I
18:59
understand
18:59
why
19:00
women
19:00
will
19:00
quietly
19:01
quit
19:01
and
19:01
stay
19:01
in
19:01
the
19:01
marriage
19:02
because
19:02
it
19:02
is
19:02
so
19:02
different,
19:03
especially
19:03
in
19:03
the
19:03
state
19:03
of
19:04
California,
19:04
most
19:05
expensive
19:05
state,
19:06
to
19:06
be
19:06
a
19:06
single
19:07
person.
19:09
Let's
19:09
face
19:09
it,
19:10
it's
19:10
not
19:10
easy.
19:10
Single
19:11
person
19:11
with
19:11
kids,
19:11
single
19:12
person
19:12
taking
19:13
care
19:13
of
19:13
a
19:13
loved
19:13
one.
19:14
It's
19:14
difficult.
19:14
So
19:15
this
19:15
is
19:15
why
19:15
I
19:16
understand
19:16
it
19:16
a
19:16
bit
19:16
more
19:17
by
19:17
quitting
19:18
and
19:18
stay.
19:19
Yeah,
19:19
let's
19:19
talk
19:19
a
19:20
little
19:20
bit
19:20
more
19:20
about
19:20
the
19:21
financial
19:21
aspect
19:22
because
19:22
I
19:22
think,
19:22
Melissa,
19:23
you
19:23
were
19:23
pretty
19:23
honest
19:23
in
19:24
the
19:24
article
19:24
saying
19:25
that,
19:25
you
19:25
know,
19:26
that
19:26
is
19:26
like
19:26
an
19:26
area
19:27
that
19:27
you
19:27
wish,
19:27
you
19:28
know,
19:28
you
19:28
had
19:28
kind
19:28
of
19:29
had
19:30
more
19:30
of
19:30
a,
19:31
a
19:31
hold
19:31
on,
19:31
you
19:32
know,
19:32
during
19:32
this
19:33
process.
19:34
So
19:34
can
19:34
you
19:34
just
19:34
give
19:35
the,
19:35
the
19:35
listeners
19:36
just
19:36
a
19:36
little
19:36
background
19:37
like
19:37
from
19:37
that
19:38
angle,
19:38
from
19:38
the
19:38
financial
19:39
side
19:39
and
19:39
also
19:40
the
19:40
advice
19:40
that
19:40
you
19:41
would
19:41
give
19:41
another
19:41
woman
19:42
who's
19:42
possibly
19:43
going
19:43
through
19:43
this.
19:44
Yes,
19:46
for
19:46
our
19:46
relationship,
19:47
there
19:47
are
19:47
highs
19:48
and
19:48
lows
19:48
for
19:49
him,
19:50
but
19:50
it
19:50
was
19:50
an
19:51
exception
19:51
or
19:51
expectation
19:52
that
19:53
I
19:53
would
19:53
handle
19:53
a
19:54
lot
19:54
of
19:54
things
19:54
financially.
19:55
And
19:56
he
19:56
was
19:56
unemployed
19:57
for
19:57
quite
19:58
some
19:58
time,
19:58
kind
19:58
of
19:58
figuring
19:59
out
19:59
his
19:59
life,
19:59
wanting
20:00
to
20:00
be
20:00
an
20:00
actor,
20:01
wanting
20:01
to
20:01
do
20:02
insurance.
20:02
And
20:04
where
20:04
it
20:04
all
20:04
fell
20:05
on
20:05
was
20:05
me
20:06
with
20:07
my
20:07
television
20:07
work.
20:08
And
20:09
I
20:11
always
20:12
was
20:12
like,
20:12
well,
20:12
I
20:13
have
20:13
to
20:13
take
20:13
care
20:13
of
20:13
us.
20:14
So
20:14
looking
20:15
back,
20:15
I
20:15
wish
20:16
I
20:16
didn't
20:16
sacrifice
20:17
so
20:17
much
20:17
of
20:17
myself
20:17
for
20:18
him
20:18
and
20:19
really
20:19
would
20:19
have
20:20
put
20:20
my
20:20
own
20:20
gas
20:21
mask,
20:21
air
20:21
mask
20:22
on
20:22
before
20:23
and
20:23
preparing
20:24
for
20:24
the
20:24
divorce.
20:25
Things
20:25
that
20:25
you
20:26
don't
20:26
realize.
20:26
That
20:26
clock
20:27
stops
20:27
the
20:27
moment
20:28
you
20:28
file,
20:29
but
20:29
you
20:29
have
20:29
to
20:29
get
20:29
your
20:30
ducks
20:30
in
20:30
a
20:30
row.
20:30
And
20:30
if
20:30
I
20:30
would
20:31
do
20:31
it
20:31
again,
20:31
I
20:31
would
20:32
have
20:32
saved
20:32
so
20:32
much
20:32
more
20:33
money,
20:33
put
20:33
cash
20:34
on
20:34
the
20:34
side,
20:34
because
20:35
these
20:35
Are
20:35
things
20:35
that
20:35
you
20:35
need
20:36
and
20:36
that
20:37
no
20:37
one
20:37
tells
20:37
you
20:38
when
20:38
you're
20:39
going
20:39
through
20:39
a
20:39
divorce,
20:39
how
20:40
essential
20:40
it
20:40
is
20:41
to
20:41
have
20:41
money
20:42
for
20:42
a
20:42
new
20:42
place,
20:43
money
20:43
for
20:45
mediation,
20:46
seeing
20:47
attorney,
20:47
all
20:47
of
20:48
these
20:48
little
20:48
things
20:49
that,
20:49
that
20:49
you
20:50
end
20:50
up
20:50
realizing
20:50
how
20:51
much
20:51
it's
20:51
on
20:51
you.
20:51
And
20:52
when
20:52
you
20:52
are
20:53
primarily
20:53
the
20:54
breadwinner,
20:55
they
20:55
will
20:55
come
20:55
for
20:55
you.
20:56
As
20:56
much
20:56
as
20:57
you
20:57
think
20:57
it
20:57
might
20:57
be
20:58
a
20:58
lovely
20:58
relationship,
20:59
they
20:59
will
20:59
come
20:59
for
20:59
you.
21:00
And
21:00
I
21:00
found
21:01
myself
21:01
looking
21:01
at
21:02
my
21:02
fans
21:02
as
21:03
being
21:03
like,
21:03
wow,
21:04
I
21:04
didn't
21:04
realize
21:05
how
21:05
trusting
21:06
I
21:06
was
21:06
and
21:07
how
21:07
much
21:07
I
21:07
was
21:08
taken
21:08
advantage
21:08
of.
21:09
And
21:10
if
21:10
I
21:10
could
21:11
have
21:11
done
21:11
it
21:11
again
21:11
and
21:12
prepared
21:12
myself
21:12
better,
21:12
I
21:13
would
21:13
might
21:13
have
21:14
had
21:14
a
21:14
nicer
21:15
landing
21:15
pad
21:16
before
21:16
I
21:16
jumped.
21:17
I
21:17
want
21:17
to
21:18
just
21:18
say,
21:18
Roxy,
21:19
I
21:19
heard
21:19
that
21:20
echoed
21:21
by
21:22
quite
21:22
a
21:22
few
21:22
of
21:22
the
21:22
women
21:23
I
21:23
interviewed
21:23
that
21:24
they
21:24
were
21:25
pulling
21:25
the
21:25
weight
21:26
financially
21:27
in
21:27
their
21:27
relationships.
21:28
Not
21:29
all
21:29
of
21:29
them,
21:29
but
21:30
Melissa,
21:31
thank
21:31
you,
21:31
by
21:31
the
21:31
way,
21:32
for
21:32
being
21:32
so
21:32
honest
21:33
about
21:33
your
21:33
situation
21:33
and
21:34
talking
21:34
about
21:34
finances.
21:35
That
21:35
was
21:35
such
21:35
an
21:35
important
21:35
part
21:36
of
21:36
the
21:36
article.
21:37
But
21:37
I
21:37
heard
21:37
a
21:38
lot
21:38
of
21:38
women
21:39
talk
21:39
about
21:39
being
21:40
the
21:40
breadwinner
21:41
really
21:42
isn't
21:42
that
21:43
interesting.
21:43
So
21:44
that
21:44
was
21:44
one
21:45
of
21:45
the
21:45
reasons
21:45
that
21:45
kind
21:45
of
21:46
held
21:46
them
21:46
back
21:46
from
21:47
just
21:47
going
21:47
all
21:48
the
21:48
way
21:48
with
21:48
it.
21:49
Well,
21:49
in
21:49
some
21:49
cases
21:50
they
21:50
would
21:50
lose
21:51
the
21:51
money
21:51
that
21:51
they
21:51
made.
21:52
Yeah,
21:53
I
21:53
mean,
21:53
I
21:53
lost
21:54
all
21:54
of
21:54
my
21:54
retirement.
21:56
So
21:57
what,
21:57
like
21:57
looking
21:58
at
21:58
it,
21:58
it's,
21:58
I'm
21:59
basically
21:59
starting
22:00
from
22:00
scratch
22:00
at
22:01
40,
22:02
43.
22:02
So
22:03
it's
22:03
definitely,
22:04
it's
22:04
a
22:04
different
22:04
feel
22:05
and
22:06
that's,
22:06
it's
22:06
a
22:06
challenging
22:07
thing.
22:07
You
22:08
know,
22:09
I
22:09
had
22:09
another
22:10
girlfriend
22:10
of
22:10
mine
22:11
that
22:11
recently
22:12
filed
22:12
for
22:13
divorce
22:14
and
22:14
her
22:14
and
22:14
her
22:14
husband
22:15
had
22:15
an
22:15
agreement
22:16
that
22:16
they
22:16
would,
22:16
they
22:16
would
22:17
work
22:17
it
22:17
out.
22:17
Well,
22:17
then
22:17
he
22:18
lost
22:18
his
22:18
job
22:18
before
22:18
she
22:19
filed.
22:20
He's
22:21
going
22:21
to
22:21
come
22:21
for
22:21
your
22:21
money.
22:22
He's
22:23
going
22:23
to
22:23
come
22:23
for
22:23
half
22:24
now
22:24
because
22:24
she
22:24
was
22:25
the
22:25
significant
22:26
breadwinner
22:26
and
22:27
what
22:27
happens
22:28
that.
22:28
Exactly.
22:29
So
22:30
seeing
22:30
someone,
22:32
if
22:32
anyone,
22:33
takes
22:33
away
22:33
one
22:33
thing
22:34
from
22:34
this
22:34
conversation.
22:36
See
22:36
a
22:36
real
22:37
estate
22:37
attorney,
22:38
have
22:38
things
22:39
put
22:39
in
22:39
a
22:40
trust,
22:41
have
22:41
your
22:42
will
22:42
written
22:43
clearly
22:43
if
22:43
you
22:44
are,
22:44
if
22:44
you
22:45
are
22:45
married,
22:45
you
22:45
have
22:45
a
22:46
daughter,
22:46
you
22:46
want
22:46
a
22:46
divorce.
22:47
What
22:47
happens
22:48
if
22:48
you
22:48
get
22:48
stuck?
22:48
What
22:49
happens
22:49
if
22:49
you
22:49
pass
22:49
away?
22:50
Having
22:50
those
22:50
things
22:50
in
22:51
order
22:51
before
22:52
you
22:52
get
22:52
divorced
22:53
is
22:53
the
22:53
best
22:53
advice
22:54
I
22:54
can
22:54
give
22:54
anyone.
22:55
Oh
22:56
my
22:56
gosh.
22:56
And
22:56
probably
22:56
have
22:57
a
22:57
prenup
22:57
too,
22:58
I
22:58
would
22:58
imagine.
22:58
No,
22:59
prenups
22:59
and
23:00
postnups
23:00
really
23:00
don't
23:01
do
23:01
that
23:02
much.
23:02
There's
23:03
a
23:03
lot
23:03
of
23:03
wiggle
23:03
room
23:03
within
23:04
prenup
23:04
and
23:04
postnup.
23:05
But
23:05
putting
23:06
things
23:06
in
23:06
a
23:06
will
23:06
and
23:07
a
23:07
trust,
23:07
that's
23:08
lock
23:08
clad.
23:09
That
23:09
is
23:09
the
23:09
way
23:09
to
23:10
go.
23:10
That's
23:11
the
23:11
way
23:11
to
23:11
go.
23:12
And
23:12
so
23:12
you
23:12
guys,
23:13
honestly,
23:13
when
23:13
I
23:13
was
23:13
reading
23:14
the
23:14
article
23:14
too
23:15
just.
23:16
And
23:16
from,
23:17
you
23:17
know,
23:17
your
23:17
mother's
23:18
personal
23:18
experience,
23:19
Monica,
23:19
as
23:19
well
23:20
as
23:20
yours,
23:20
Melissa,
23:21
like
23:21
hearing
23:22
that
23:22
same.
23:22
So
23:23
many
23:23
of
23:23
these
23:23
men
23:23
didn't
23:24
even
23:24
realize
23:25
that
23:25
they
23:25
were
23:25
being
23:25
quietly
23:26
quit
23:26
on
23:26
was
23:27
shocking
23:28
to
23:28
me.
23:28
I'm
23:29
like,
23:29
like
23:30
in
23:30
your
23:30
mom's
23:30
case,
23:31
Monica,
23:31
like
23:31
not
23:32
talking
23:32
to
23:32
somebody
23:32
for
23:33
a
23:33
year
23:33
or
23:33
you
23:34
know,
23:34
in
23:34
the
23:35
cases
23:35
of
23:35
the
23:35
other
23:35
women
23:36
in
23:36
the
23:36
article,
23:37
how
23:37
do
23:37
these
23:38
men
23:38
not
23:39
notice
23:39
a
23:40
change
23:40
or
23:40
notice
23:41
a
23:41
difference?
23:42
I
23:42
mean,
23:42
Melissa,
23:42
with
23:43
you,
23:43
did
23:43
your
23:43
husband
23:43
pick
23:44
up
23:44
on
23:44
these
23:44
things?
23:45
He
23:45
did
23:46
mention
23:46
to
23:46
me
23:46
that
23:47
there
23:47
was,
23:47
I
23:47
mean,
23:48
obviously
23:48
being
23:48
a
23:48
Los
23:49
Angeles,
23:50
going
23:50
to
23:50
a
23:50
lot
23:50
of
23:50
events,
23:51
he
23:51
usually
23:52
used
23:52
to
23:52
be
23:52
my
23:52
plus
23:53
one.
23:53
And
23:53
I
23:54
completely
23:54
cut
23:55
him
23:55
out
23:55
because
23:55
I
23:55
didn't
23:56
want
23:56
to
23:56
be
23:56
around
23:56
him
23:56
and
23:57
I
23:57
invited
23:57
other
23:58
girlfriends
23:58
to
23:58
go
23:59
and
23:59
I
23:59
just,
23:59
I
24:00
didn't
24:01
want
24:01
him
24:01
around.
24:02
And
24:02
I
24:03
told
24:03
about.
24:03
I
24:04
did
24:04
make
24:04
it
24:04
an
24:04
article
24:04
but
24:05
because
24:05
she
24:05
obviously
24:06
this
24:06
article
24:06
is
24:06
so
24:07
good
24:07
and
24:07
there's
24:07
a
24:07
lot
24:07
of
24:07
meat
24:08
to
24:08
put
24:08
in
24:08
there.
24:08
But
24:09
for
24:09
me,
24:10
the
24:10
aha
24:10
moment,
24:11
which
24:11
I
24:11
think
24:11
he
24:11
realized
24:12
too
24:12
was
24:12
I
24:13
hosted
24:13
a
24:13
retreat
24:14
for
24:14
women,
24:14
a
24:14
style
24:15
retreat,
24:15
which
24:15
I
24:15
do
24:16
yearly
24:16
in
24:16
Paris
24:17
and
24:17
I
24:17
didn't
24:18
want
24:18
him
24:18
there
24:19
and
24:19
it
24:19
was
24:19
my
24:20
birthday
24:20
and
24:20
he
24:20
called
24:21
me
24:21
multiple
24:21
times
24:22
and
24:22
I
24:22
didn't
24:22
want
24:22
to
24:22
talk
24:22
to
24:23
him.
24:23
Now
24:23
it's
24:24
my
24:24
birthday
24:24
and
24:24
I'm
24:24
walking
24:25
the
24:25
streets
24:25
of
24:25
Paris
24:25
and
24:26
I'm
24:26
ignoring
24:26
him.
24:26
Sorry,
24:27
busy,
24:28
can't
24:28
talk.
24:28
I
24:29
end
24:29
up
24:29
spending
24:29
my
24:30
day
24:30
with
24:30
the
24:30
80
24:30
year
24:30
old
24:31
woman
24:31
and
24:31
becoming
24:31
like
24:32
BFFs
24:32
with
24:32
her.
24:32
A
24:33
random
24:33
woman
24:33
I
24:33
met
24:33
at
24:34
a
24:34
cafe
24:34
over
24:34
my
24:35
own
24:35
husband.
24:35
If
24:36
that's
24:36
not
24:36
an
24:36
aha
24:37
moment,
24:37
which
24:37
I
24:37
think
24:37
it
24:38
was
24:38
for
24:38
the
24:38
both
24:38
of
24:38
us,
24:38
I
24:39
don't
24:39
know.
24:40
That's
24:40
an
24:40
epiphany.
24:42
That's
24:43
totally.
24:43
Was
24:43
that.
24:44
Was
24:44
that
24:44
the
24:44
point
24:45
was
24:45
that
24:45
like
24:45
in
24:46
your
24:46
mind
24:46
was
24:46
that
24:47
the.
24:47
I
24:47
was
24:48
walking
24:48
around
24:48
the
24:48
streets
24:49
of
24:49
Paris.
24:49
I
24:49
said
24:50
that
24:50
was
24:50
the
24:50
day
24:50
that
24:51
the
24:51
ladies
24:51
had
24:51
a
24:51
free
24:51
day.
24:52
And
24:52
I
24:52
was
24:53
like,
24:53
I
24:53
don't
24:53
want
24:53
to
24:53
talk
24:53
to
24:54
him.
24:54
I
24:54
don't.
24:54
It's
24:55
my
24:55
birthday
24:55
and
24:55
I
24:55
have
24:56
no
24:56
interest
24:56
in
24:56
talking
24:57
to
24:57
him.
24:57
I
24:57
want
24:58
silence.
24:58
I
24:58
don't
24:59
want
24:59
to
24:59
deal
24:59
with
25:00
him.
25:00
I
25:00
don't
25:00
want
25:01
to
25:01
hear
25:01
the
25:01
bullshit,
25:02
I
25:02
don't
25:02
want
25:02
to
25:02
hear
25:03
the
25:03
excuses.
25:03
I
25:04
just
25:04
want
25:04
peace.
25:05
And
25:05
that
25:05
was
25:05
that.
25:06
And
25:06
that
25:06
was.
25:07
That
25:07
was
25:07
before
25:07
I
25:08
filed.
25:08
That
25:08
was
25:08
in
25:08
2022.
25:09
I
25:10
didn't
25:10
file
25:10
in
25:11
till
25:12
fall
25:13
2023.
25:14
That
25:14
is
25:14
how
25:15
long
25:15
I
25:15
marinated
25:16
on
25:16
it.
25:17
Wow.
25:18
So
25:18
what
25:18
was
25:18
the
25:18
thing
25:19
that
25:19
Made
25:19
you
25:19
file.
25:19
Like,
25:20
was
25:20
there
25:20
something
25:20
that
25:21
happened,
25:21
an
25:21
event,
25:21
a
25:22
realization?
25:23
Like,
25:23
what
25:23
was
25:23
the
25:23
thing
25:24
that
25:24
finally,
25:24
you
25:25
know,
25:25
from
25:25
the
25:25
quiet
25:25
quitting
25:26
to,
25:26
like,
25:26
now
25:27
we're
25:27
getting
25:27
divorced.
25:28
I
25:28
feel
25:28
like
25:28
there
25:29
was
25:29
a
25:29
bit
25:29
more
25:29
aggravation
25:30
from
25:31
him.
25:31
Verbal
25:31
abuse,
25:32
talking
25:32
down
25:33
to
25:33
me,
25:33
calling
25:33
me
25:34
names.
25:36
The
25:36
intimacy
25:36
was
25:37
so
25:37
dead.
25:38
Like,
25:39
we
25:39
weren't
25:39
really
25:39
intimate
25:40
for
25:40
a
25:40
long
25:40
time,
25:40
but
25:41
we
25:41
were
25:42
intimate
25:42
a
25:43
little
25:43
bit
25:43
before.
25:44
This
25:45
time
25:45
for
25:46
the
25:46
last
25:46
time
25:47
around
25:48
our
25:48
anniversary.
25:48
And
25:49
then
25:49
he
25:49
was
25:50
so
25:50
rude.
25:50
And
25:50
then
25:51
there
25:51
was
25:51
another.
25:52
I
25:52
can't
25:53
pay
25:53
bills
25:53
this
25:53
month.
25:53
You
25:54
have
25:54
to
25:54
take
25:54
it.
25:54
And
25:54
I
25:54
just
25:55
turned
25:55
around.
25:55
I
25:55
was
25:55
like,
25:56
I
25:56
am
25:56
done.
25:58
And
25:58
I.
25:58
It
25:59
was
25:59
like.
25:59
It
25:59
was
25:59
that
26:00
moment.
26:00
I
26:00
just
26:01
remember
26:01
it
26:01
was
26:01
like
26:02
a
26:02
Friday.
26:03
And
26:03
the
26:03
Monday
26:03
morning,
26:04
I
26:04
called
26:04
the
26:05
mediator.
26:05
I
26:05
said,
26:06
I'm
26:06
ready.
26:06
And
26:06
I
26:07
talked
26:07
to
26:07
her
26:07
before
26:08
for
26:08
months.
26:09
But
26:09
it
26:09
was
26:10
like
26:10
that
26:10
realization
26:11
that
26:11
I'm
26:11
not
26:11
respected,
26:12
I'm
26:12
not
26:12
loved.
26:13
I
26:13
feel
26:14
like
26:14
all
26:14
of
26:14
this
26:14
is
26:14
on
26:14
my
26:15
shoulder.
26:15
If
26:15
I
26:16
get
26:16
sick
26:16
and
26:16
drop
26:16
dead,
26:16
you're
26:17
not
26:17
going
26:17
to
26:17
do
26:17
anything.
26:18
You're
26:18
not
26:18
going
26:18
to
26:18
take
26:18
care
26:18
of
26:19
me.
26:19
And
26:20
I
26:20
just.
26:20
I
26:20
couldn't
26:21
take
26:21
it
26:21
anymore.
26:21
I
26:22
just
26:22
had
26:22
enough.
26:22
And
26:23
that.
26:23
I
26:23
think
26:23
that's
26:24
a
26:24
lot
26:24
of
26:24
times
26:24
with
26:24
women,
26:25
there's
26:25
that
26:25
catalyst.
26:25
And
26:26
I
26:26
was
26:26
just
26:26
like.
26:27
And
26:27
the
26:27
sex
26:28
was
26:28
so
26:28
horrible
26:28
at
26:28
that
26:29
point.
26:29
I
26:29
mean,
26:29
it
26:30
just
26:30
is
26:30
like,
26:30
I'm
26:30
out.
26:32
Yeah,
26:32
when
26:32
you're
26:32
done,
26:32
you're
26:33
done,
26:33
you're
26:33
done.
26:34
And
26:34
I
26:34
did
26:35
not
26:35
look
26:35
back.
26:36
Monica,
26:36
do
26:37
you
26:37
find
26:37
that
26:37
that
26:37
is
26:37
the
26:38
same
26:38
with,
26:38
like,
26:38
some
26:39
of
26:39
the
26:39
other
26:39
women
26:39
that
26:40
you
26:40
had
26:40
in
26:40
the
26:40
article,
26:41
that
26:41
they
26:41
just
26:42
reach
26:42
a
26:42
point
26:43
where,
26:43
like,
26:44
that
26:44
was
26:44
it
26:44
and
26:44
then
26:44
done
26:45
is
26:45
done?
26:46
Well,
26:46
Melissa
26:47
was
26:47
one
26:47
of
26:47
the
26:48
women
26:48
that
26:49
left.
26:49
And
26:50
I
26:50
spoke
26:50
with
26:50
women
26:50
that
26:51
were
26:51
still
26:51
in
26:51
the
26:51
thick
26:52
of
26:52
it.
26:52
But
26:53
I'm
26:53
really
26:53
intrigued
26:54
by
26:55
what
26:55
men
26:55
are
26:56
thinking.
26:56
And
26:56
I
26:56
did
26:57
see
26:57
speak
26:57
with
26:57
some
26:57
men,
26:58
and
26:58
I
26:58
spoke
26:58
with
26:59
some
26:59
men
26:59
who
27:00
offer
27:00
support
27:00
to
27:01
other
27:01
men.
27:01
And
27:01
they
27:02
really
27:02
burrowed
27:02
into
27:03
the
27:03
mind
27:03
of
27:03
the
27:03
married
27:04
man.
27:04
Like,
27:04
why
27:05
don't
27:05
they
27:05
pick
27:05
up
27:06
on
27:06
this?
27:07
And
27:07
it's
27:07
so
27:08
interesting.
27:09
A
27:10
lot
27:10
of
27:11
therapists
27:12
were
27:12
telling
27:12
me
27:12
that
27:13
men
27:13
don't
27:14
react
27:14
to
27:15
words,
27:15
they
27:15
react
27:15
to
27:16
action.
27:17
So
27:17
women
27:17
would
27:18
say,
27:18
you
27:18
know
27:18
what?
27:19
I'm
27:19
not
27:20
feeling
27:20
affectionate
27:21
towards
27:21
you,
27:21
or,
27:21
you're
27:22
not
27:22
listening
27:22
to
27:22
me.
27:23
My
27:23
needs
27:23
aren't
27:23
being
27:24
met.
27:24
Why
27:24
can't
27:24
you
27:25
fucking
27:25
put
27:25
out
27:25
the
27:25
trash?
27:26
Why
27:26
can't
27:26
you
27:26
do
27:27
what
27:27
you
27:27
said
27:27
you
27:27
were
27:27
going
27:28
to
27:28
do?
27:29
And
27:29
men
27:30
will
27:30
hear,
27:30
la,
27:30
la,
27:30
la,
27:30
la,
27:31
la,
27:31
la,
27:31
la.
27:31
Okay,
27:32
maybe
27:32
I'll
27:32
do
27:32
that.
27:33
And
27:33
then
27:33
a
27:33
woman
27:34
says,
27:34
oh,
27:34
that's
27:35
my
27:35
suitcase.
27:35
I'm
27:35
leaving.
27:36
Or
27:36
that's
27:36
your
27:37
suitcase
27:37
and
27:38
you're
27:38
leaving.
27:39
And
27:39
action.
27:39
All
27:40
of
27:40
a
27:40
sudden,
27:40
the
27:40
man
27:41
who
27:41
heard
27:41
like
27:42
the
27:42
Charlie
27:42
Brown
27:42
teacher,
27:43
womp,
27:43
womp,
27:43
womp,
27:44
womp,
27:44
womp,
27:44
he
27:45
was
27:45
like,
27:45
it's
27:46
over
27:46
because
27:47
he
27:47
sees
27:47
the
27:47
action.
27:48
I
27:48
thought
27:48
that
27:49
was
27:49
fascinating.
27:50
It
27:50
really
27:50
speaks
27:51
to
27:51
the
27:51
way
27:51
men
27:52
and
27:52
women.
27:54
But
27:54
these
27:55
men
27:56
didn't
27:57
really
27:57
react
27:57
until
27:58
it
27:58
was
27:58
go
27:59
time.
28:00
Isn't
28:01
that
28:01
interesting?
28:01
Because
28:02
that
28:02
really
28:02
does.
28:03
Does
28:03
say
28:04
something.
28:04
You
28:04
know,
28:04
I
28:04
do
28:05
notice,
28:06
just
28:06
in
28:06
general,
28:07
women,
28:07
when
28:07
we
28:08
get
28:08
together,
28:08
we
28:08
love
28:09
to
28:09
talk
28:09
to
28:09
each
28:09
other,
28:09
right.
28:10
It's
28:10
like
28:10
talk
28:11
about
28:11
our
28:11
problems,
28:12
talk
28:12
about
28:12
the
28:12
good
28:12
things,
28:13
talk
28:13
about
28:13
the
28:13
bad
28:13
things,
28:14
you
28:14
know?
28:14
And
28:14
I
28:15
notice
28:15
with
28:15
men,
28:16
it
28:16
usually
28:16
is
28:16
an
28:17
activity
28:17
centered
28:19
thing.
28:19
When
28:19
they
28:19
get
28:19
together,
28:20
they're
28:20
like
28:21
going
28:21
to
28:21
watch
28:21
football
28:22
or
28:22
they're,
28:22
you
28:23
know,
28:23
going
28:24
whatever,
28:24
riding
28:24
bikes
28:25
or
28:25
motorcycles
28:26
or
28:26
whatever.
28:26
It
28:27
is
28:27
like,
28:28
it's
28:28
usually
28:28
activity
28:29
centered.
28:30
And
28:30
it's
28:30
not
28:30
so
28:31
much
28:31
like
28:32
the
28:32
talking
28:32
like
28:33
it
28:33
is
28:33
for
28:33
women.
28:33
So
28:34
that
28:34
completely
28:35
makes
28:35
sense
28:36
to
28:36
me.
28:36
Or
28:37
would
28:37
you
28:37
say
28:38
to
28:38
your
28:38
husband,
28:39
oh,
28:40
I
28:40
heard
28:40
that,
28:41
like,
28:42
you
28:42
know,
28:43
Marley
28:44
and
28:44
Tim
28:44
broke
28:44
up.
28:45
What
28:45
happened?
28:46
He's
28:46
like,
28:46
I
28:46
don't
28:47
know.
28:47
I
28:47
guess
28:47
they're
28:47
just
28:48
getting
28:48
separate
28:48
places.
28:49
And
28:50
he
28:50
says
28:50
to
28:50
you,
28:50
what
28:51
happened
28:51
with
28:51
Marley
28:52
and
28:52
Tim?
28:52
I'm
28:52
like,
28:52
okay,
28:53
so
28:53
three
28:53
months
28:54
ago
28:54
they
28:54
had
28:55
this
28:55
issue.
28:56
It's
28:57
like,
28:57
it's
28:57
just
28:58
like
28:58
you're
28:58
in
28:58
two.
28:58
You're
28:59
on
28:59
two
28:59
completely
29:00
different
29:00
planets.
29:01
Yes.
29:01
It's
29:01
like
29:02
the
29:02
detail.
29:03
Yeah.
29:03
And
29:04
then
29:04
our.
29:05
I
29:05
don't
29:05
want
29:06
to
29:06
generalize,
29:06
but
29:06
I'm
29:07
going
29:07
to
29:07
generalize.
29:07
Men
29:08
are
29:08
typically
29:09
resistant
29:09
to
29:09
change.
29:10
And
29:10
I
29:11
think
29:11
that
29:11
ties
29:11
into
29:11
this
29:12
whole
29:12
idea
29:12
of
29:12
women
29:13
evolving
29:13
in
29:14
midlife
29:14
and
29:14
wanting
29:14
to
29:14
keep.
29:15
Grow
29:15
and
29:15
expand
29:16
and
29:16
men
29:17
just
29:17
feeling
29:17
like,
29:18
I
29:18
want
29:18
to.
29:18
I
29:18
want
29:19
to
29:19
keep
29:19
it
29:19
all
29:19
cool.
29:20
Like,
29:20
I
29:20
want
29:20
to
29:20
stay
29:21
plateaued.
29:21
I
29:21
don't
29:22
want
29:22
to
29:22
go
29:22
down,
29:22
but
29:23
I
29:23
don't
29:23
necessarily
29:23
need
29:24
to
29:24
go
29:24
up.
29:24
I'll
29:24
just
29:25
straight
29:26
line,
29:26
flatline
29:27
here.
29:27
Yeah,
29:28
they
29:28
don't.
29:28
It's
29:28
almost
29:28
like
29:29
the
29:29
introspection
29:30
isn't
29:30
there
29:30
because
29:30
that
29:31
forces
29:31
them
29:31
to
29:31
do
29:32
the
29:32
work
29:32
right.
29:32
Like
29:32
if
29:33
they
29:33
have
29:33
to
29:33
recalibrate
29:34
and
29:35
reevaluate
29:35
and
29:36
like,
29:36
if,
29:36
you
29:36
know,
29:36
the
29:37
partners
29:37
kind
29:38
of
29:38
changing
29:38
and
29:39
doing
29:39
whatever,
29:40
it's
29:40
like,
29:40
then
29:41
that
29:41
forces
29:41
them
29:41
to
29:41
look
29:42
within,
29:42
which
29:42
a
29:43
lot
29:43
of
29:43
times
29:43
maybe
29:44
they
29:44
don't
29:44
want
29:44
to
29:44
do.
29:45
I
29:45
a
29:45
thousand
29:46
percent
29:46
agree
29:46
with
29:46
you
29:47
because
29:47
I
29:47
still
29:47
think,
29:48
I
29:48
don't
29:48
know
29:48
how
29:49
it
29:49
is
29:49
now,
29:49
but
29:50
my
29:50
existence
29:51
was
29:51
like,
29:51
oh,
29:51
because
29:52
I
29:52
don't
29:52
make
29:52
enough
29:52
money
29:54
like
29:54
that.
29:54
That's
29:55
not
29:55
why
29:55
I'm
29:56
divorcing
29:56
you.
29:57
Yeah,
29:58
exactly.
29:58
You're
29:58
like,
29:59
don't
29:59
blame
29:59
it
29:59
on
29:59
the
29:59
money.
30:00
And
30:00
that's
30:01
the
30:01
thing.
30:01
And
30:01
I
30:02
am
30:02
looking
30:02
back
30:03
and
30:03
doing
30:03
the
30:03
work.
30:04
I
30:04
realized
30:04
that
30:05
I
30:05
fell
30:05
in
30:06
love
30:06
with
30:06
potential
30:07
and
30:07
all
30:07
the
30:07
things
30:07
that
30:08
you
30:08
think.
30:08
Like
30:09
there's
30:09
so
30:09
many
30:09
aha
30:10
moments
30:10
and
30:12
red
30:12
flags
30:12
that
30:12
I
30:13
let
30:13
slide
30:14
because
30:14
I
30:14
was
30:15
so
30:15
Google
30:15
eyes.
30:16
Loved
30:16
that
30:17
I
30:17
didn't
30:17
think.
30:17
And
30:18
this
30:18
is
30:18
no
30:18
fault
30:19
of
30:19
him.
30:19
This
30:19
is
30:19
me
30:20
owning
30:20
my
30:21
ish
30:22
so
30:22
I
30:22
can
30:23
be
30:23
the
30:23
better
30:23
partner,
30:24
the
30:24
best
30:24
partner
30:25
in
30:25
my
30:25
next
30:25
relationship.
30:26
But
30:27
there
30:27
are
30:27
a
30:27
lot
30:27
of
30:27
things
30:27
that
30:27
I
30:28
realize
30:28
I
30:29
ignored
30:29
or
30:29
there
30:29
are
30:30
needs
30:30
that,
30:31
that
30:31
no
30:31
longer
30:31
aligned.
30:32
And
30:33
I've
30:33
definitely
30:34
done
30:34
the
30:34
work
30:34
to
30:34
take
30:35
accountability.
30:35
And
30:36
I
30:36
honestly
30:36
believe
30:37
I
30:37
know
30:38
my
30:38
relationship
30:39
type.
30:39
I'm
30:40
an
30:40
avoidant.
30:41
So
30:42
it
30:42
kind
30:42
of
30:42
came
30:43
naturally
30:43
for
30:43
me
30:43
to
30:44
be
30:44
silently
30:45
quitting.
30:46
But
30:46
working
30:46
within
30:47
that
30:47
and
30:47
learning
30:48
from
30:48
that
30:49
allows
30:50
better
30:50
clarity
30:51
and
30:51
more
30:52
accountability
30:53
for
30:53
when
30:53
I'm
30:54
a
30:54
partner
30:54
again.
30:55
You
30:55
know,
30:55
I
30:56
think
30:56
that
30:56
there's.
30:56
It's
30:57
so
30:57
important
30:57
to
30:58
bring
30:58
that
30:58
up
30:58
because
30:59
I
30:59
do
30:59
think
30:59
this
31:00
is
31:00
a
31:00
shared
31:01
kind
31:01
of
31:02
thing
31:02
with
31:02
a
31:02
lot
31:03
of
31:03
women.
31:03
Really
31:04
is.
31:04
You
31:04
almost
31:05
fall
31:05
in
31:05
love
31:05
with
31:06
like
31:06
what
31:06
you
31:06
imagine
31:07
that
31:07
man
31:08
to
31:08
be
31:08
like
31:08
the
31:08
future
31:09
self
31:09
that
31:09
you
31:10
imagine
31:10
him
31:10
to
31:11
be,
31:11
but
31:11
that
31:12
it
31:12
is
31:12
not
31:12
the
31:13
reality,
31:14
you
31:14
know,
31:14
it's
31:14
not
31:15
the
31:15
reality.
31:15
So
31:16
I
31:16
think,
31:16
I
31:17
think
31:17
it
31:17
is
31:17
important,
31:17
like
31:18
you're
31:18
saying,
31:18
to
31:18
take
31:18
accountability
31:19
for
31:19
that
31:19
because
31:20
you
31:20
know,
31:20
where,
31:21
where
31:22
that
31:22
side
31:22
of
31:22
the
31:23
issue
31:23
lies,
31:23
you
31:24
know,
31:24
and
31:24
it's
31:24
not
31:24
necessarily
31:25
their
31:25
fault
31:25
that
31:26
they're
31:26
not
31:27
living
31:27
up
31:27
to
31:27
your
31:28
perception
31:28
of
31:28
what
31:28
they
31:29
should
31:29
be
31:29
at
31:29
some
31:29
point.
31:30
Right?
31:30
I
31:30
mean,
31:31
exactly.
31:32
But
31:32
it's
31:32
hard,
31:33
you
31:33
know,
31:33
you
31:33
want
31:33
them
31:34
to
31:34
realize
31:35
their
31:35
full
31:35
potential
31:36
and
31:36
maybe
31:37
they
31:37
don't,
31:37
but
31:38
because
31:38
there's
31:39
so.
31:39
Many
31:39
other
31:39
variables
31:40
like
31:40
this,
31:41
just
31:41
one
31:42
tiny
31:42
bit
31:42
of
31:42
this
31:43
bigger
31:43
picture
31:44
in.
31:44
Defense
31:45
of
31:45
men
31:45
and
31:46
women.
31:46
Like,
31:47
we
31:47
were
31:47
never
31:47
meant
31:48
to
31:48
be
31:48
married
31:48
for
31:49
50
31:49
or
31:49
60
31:50
years.
31:50
I
31:50
mean,
31:52
when
31:53
marriage
31:53
came
31:53
about,
31:54
we
31:54
lived
31:55
to
31:55
like
31:55
30
31:55
or
31:56
40.
31:57
Um,
31:58
so
31:58
you
31:58
weren't
31:59
married
31:59
for
31:59
that
31:59
long.
32:00
You
32:00
may
32:00
have
32:00
gotten
32:00
married
32:01
at
32:01
15,
32:02
but
32:02
you
32:02
were
32:02
not
32:03
married
32:03
for
32:03
more
32:03
than
32:04
maybe
32:04
15,
32:05
tops
32:06
20
32:06
years.
32:06
And
32:07
now
32:07
people
32:07
who
32:08
are
32:08
getting
32:08
married
32:08
and
32:08
living
32:09
to
32:09
80,
32:10
you
32:10
know,
32:11
marriages
32:11
go
32:12
through
32:12
phases
32:12
now.
32:13
Marriages
32:13
have
32:14
a
32:14
midlife,
32:14
marriages,
32:16
marriages
32:17
need
32:17
to
32:17
be
32:17
re
32:18
examined.
32:18
I
32:19
think
32:19
it
32:19
is
32:19
a
32:19
job.
32:20
And
32:20
you
32:21
have
32:21
to
32:21
look
32:21
at
32:21
it
32:21
that
32:22
way
32:22
and
32:22
say
32:22
to
32:22
yourself,
32:23
what
32:24
do
32:24
I
32:24
bring
32:24
to
32:24
this
32:24
job?
32:25
What's
32:25
my
32:26
idea
32:26
of
32:26
productivity?
32:27
What
32:27
is
32:27
accountability?
32:28
And
32:28
have
32:28
that
32:29
discussion
32:29
with
32:29
your
32:29
partner,
32:30
you
32:30
know,
32:32
like,
32:32
if
32:32
you
32:32
didn't
32:33
if
32:33
you
32:33
worked
32:34
autonomously
32:35
with
32:35
no
32:36
supervision
32:36
whatsoever.
32:37
Good
32:37
luck.
32:38
I
32:38
mean,
32:38
we
32:38
need
32:38
connection
32:39
and
32:39
we
32:39
need
32:40
people
32:40
to
32:40
outline
32:41
their
32:41
expectations
32:42
for
32:42
us.
32:43
And
32:43
I
32:43
don't
32:44
think
32:44
we
32:44
really
32:44
do
32:44
that
32:44
in
32:45
marriage
32:45
because
32:46
we're
32:46
not
32:46
taught
32:47
to
32:47
do
32:47
that.
32:47
You
32:48
know,
32:48
we're.
32:49
There's
32:49
so
32:49
much
32:50
emphasis
32:50
put
32:50
it
32:51
on
32:51
getting
32:51
married.
32:52
And
32:53
I
32:53
even
32:53
think
32:53
the
32:53
idea
32:54
that
32:54
we
32:54
go
32:54
on
32:55
a
32:55
honeymoon
32:55
right
32:55
after
32:56
we
32:56
get
32:56
married,
32:56
we
32:57
should
32:57
go
32:57
on
32:57
a
32:57
honeymoon
32:58
after
32:58
a
32:58
year
32:59
because
32:59
most
33:00
marriages
33:00
end
33:01
in
33:01
divorce
33:01
within
33:01
the
33:02
first
33:02
year.
33:02
So
33:03
that
33:03
honeymoon
33:03
should
33:04
be
33:04
like,
33:04
we
33:04
made
33:04
one
33:05
year,
33:05
let's
33:05
go
33:05
on
33:06
a
33:06
trip,
33:06
you
33:06
know,
33:07
And
33:08
I
33:08
think
33:09
it
33:09
just
33:09
needs
33:09
to
33:09
be
33:10
redefined
33:11
and
33:12
really
33:12
look
33:13
at
33:13
like
33:13
what
33:14
is
33:14
marriage
33:14
and
33:15
what
33:15
do
33:15
we
33:15
bring
33:15
to
33:15
it
33:16
and
33:16
what
33:16
do
33:16
we
33:16
want
33:16
out
33:17
of
33:17
it
33:17
together
33:18
and
33:18
separately?
33:19
I
33:20
agree.
33:20
I
33:20
also
33:21
revisit
33:21
marriage,
33:22
the
33:22
fact
33:22
that
33:22
I
33:23
don't
33:23
necessarily
33:23
know
33:24
if
33:24
I
33:24
want
33:24
to
33:24
be
33:24
married
33:25
again,
33:25
but
33:25
I
33:26
definitely
33:26
know
33:26
that
33:26
I
33:27
want
33:27
a
33:27
long
33:27
term
33:27
partner
33:28
again
33:28
because
33:28
marriage
33:29
is
33:29
a
33:29
financial
33:30
business
33:30
decision.
33:31
And
33:31
if
33:31
you
33:32
cannot
33:32
bring
33:32
the
33:33
best
33:33
to
33:33
my
33:33
business
33:33
and
33:34
that
33:34
affects
33:34
my
33:34
life,
33:35
then
33:35
what
33:36
are
33:36
we
33:36
doing?
33:36
I'm
33:37
happy
33:37
to
33:37
take
33:37
a
33:37
lava
33:38
and
33:38
have
33:38
a
33:39
nice
33:39
little
33:39
lava
33:39
that's
33:40
consistent.
33:40
And
33:40
we
33:41
go
33:41
to
33:41
Paris,
33:41
we
33:41
go
33:41
travel,
33:42
we
33:42
do
33:42
our
33:42
things
33:42
and
33:43
whatever.
33:43
I
33:43
mean,
33:43
like,
33:44
we
33:44
have
33:44
our
33:44
separate
33:45
places,
33:45
you
33:46
know,
33:46
like
33:46
two,
33:46
three
33:47
nights
33:47
a
33:47
week.
33:47
I
33:47
am
33:47
pounded
33:48
like
33:48
I
33:48
should
33:49
be.
33:49
But
33:49
I
33:50
also
33:50
have
33:50
a
33:51
totally,
33:53
yes.
33:54
We
33:54
love
33:55
getting
33:55
pounded.
33:57
It
33:57
was
33:57
originally
33:58
a
33:58
business
33:59
decision.
33:59
Marriage
34:00
came
34:00
about,
34:01
you
34:01
know,
34:01
thousands
34:02
of
34:02
years
34:02
ago
34:03
so
34:03
that
34:04
men
34:04
could
34:04
be
34:05
sure
34:05
that
34:05
their
34:05
children
34:06
were
34:06
theirs
34:07
and
34:08
that
34:08
you
34:08
could,
34:10
you
34:10
know,
34:10
combine
34:11
your
34:11
assets.
34:12
And
34:13
so
34:13
it
34:13
was,
34:14
it
34:14
was
34:14
strictly
34:15
a
34:15
business
34:15
decision.
34:16
It
34:16
was
34:16
not
34:16
about
34:16
love
34:17
back
34:17
in
34:18
the
34:18
day.
34:19
That's
34:19
where
34:20
I
34:20
think
34:21
it
34:21
hasn't
34:21
led
34:22
us
34:22
astray.
34:22
I
34:23
do
34:23
believe
34:23
in
34:23
love,
34:24
but
34:25
I
34:25
do
34:25
think
34:25
we
34:26
forget
34:26
about
34:27
the
34:27
practicality
34:28
of
34:28
it
34:28
and
34:29
just
34:29
that
34:29
it
34:30
is
34:30
a
34:30
business.
34:32
We've
34:32
created
34:32
a
34:33
little
34:33
enterprise
34:34
to
34:34
people.
34:35
Well,
34:35
that's
34:35
one
34:36
of
34:36
the
34:36
things
34:36
that
34:36
was
34:37
like
34:37
going
34:37
through
34:37
my
34:37
mind
34:38
as
34:38
I
34:38
was
34:38
reading
34:38
the
34:39
article.
34:39
I'm
34:39
like,
34:40
will
34:40
this
34:41
phenomenon,
34:42
you
34:42
know,
34:42
the
34:42
quietly
34:43
quitting,
34:43
will
34:44
that
34:44
make
34:44
people
34:45
sort
34:45
of
34:45
recalibrate
34:46
the
34:46
idea
34:47
of
34:47
marriage
34:47
or
34:48
like
34:48
rethink
34:49
the
34:49
idea
34:50
of
34:50
marriage
34:50
even?
34:51
Is
34:51
it
34:51
even
34:51
worth
34:52
it
34:52
to
34:52
get
34:52
married?
34:53
So
34:53
do
34:53
you
34:53
think
34:53
that
34:54
we're
34:54
just
34:54
like
34:55
kind
34:55
of
34:55
with
34:55
this
34:56
becoming
34:56
more
34:57
talked
34:57
about,
34:57
do
34:58
you
34:58
think
34:58
we're
34:58
on
34:58
the
34:58
precipice
34:59
of
34:59
like
34:59
redefining
35:00
really
35:00
what
35:01
marriage
35:01
is
35:01
or
35:02
even
35:02
if
35:02
it's
35:02
necessary?
35:04
Well,
35:04
that's
35:04
what
35:05
my
35:05
business
35:05
about,
35:06
because
35:06
I
35:06
want
35:06
to
35:07
Stay
35:07
married
35:07
if
35:08
I
35:08
can.
35:09
I've
35:09
been
35:09
married
35:09
now,
35:10
I'll
35:10
be
35:10
married
35:11
20
35:11
years
35:12
this
35:12
year.
35:14
But
35:14
a
35:14
lot
35:14
of
35:14
people
35:14
are
35:15
already,
35:15
thank
35:15
you,
35:16
redefining
35:16
marriage,
35:17
whether
35:17
it's
35:17
living
35:17
apart
35:18
but
35:18
staying
35:19
married,
35:19
whether
35:19
it's
35:19
opening
35:20
up
35:20
your
35:20
relationship,
35:22
whether
35:23
it's
35:23
having
35:23
kids
35:24
without
35:24
getting
35:24
married.
35:25
I
35:25
mean
35:25
the
35:25
statistics
35:26
are
35:26
showing
35:26
that
35:27
people
35:27
are
35:27
really
35:29
changing
35:29
the
35:30
game.
35:30
It's
35:31
just
35:31
that
35:31
it's
35:31
happening
35:32
in
35:32
little
35:32
factions,
35:33
but
35:33
it's
35:33
growing.
35:35
And
35:35
in,
35:36
in
35:36
my
35:36
book,
35:36
as
35:36
I
35:37
do
35:37
research,
35:37
I
35:37
really
35:38
do
35:38
want
35:38
to
35:38
examine
35:39
how
35:39
we
35:40
can
35:40
tweak
35:41
marriage
35:41
to
35:41
work
35:42
for
35:42
us,
35:42
whether
35:42
it's
35:43
as
35:43
a
35:43
couple
35:43
or
35:44
as
35:44
an
35:44
institution.
35:44
And
35:45
I
35:45
want
35:45
to
35:45
bring
35:45
up
35:46
there's
35:46
this
35:46
idea
35:47
of
35:47
contracts
35:48
and
35:49
as
35:49
I
35:49
said,
35:49
marriage
35:50
was
35:50
originally
35:51
like
35:51
a
35:51
contractual
35:52
agreement.
35:53
And
35:53
some
35:54
people
35:54
are
35:54
talking
35:54
about
35:55
having
35:55
a
35:56
contract
35:56
whereby
35:56
you
35:57
get
35:57
married
35:57
for
35:57
let's
35:57
say
35:58
three
35:58
years.
35:58
And
35:59
after
35:59
three
35:59
years
36:00
you
36:00
revisit
36:01
and
36:01
you
36:01
look
36:01
at
36:02
the
36:02
contract
36:02
like
36:02
you
36:02
would
36:03
at
36:03
a
36:03
job
36:04
and
36:04
say
36:04
do
36:04
I
36:04
want
36:04
to
36:04
renew?
36:05
There
36:06
were
36:06
two
36:06
women
36:07
in
36:07
Maryland
36:07
back
36:08
in
36:08
the
36:08
70s,
36:09
weirdly
36:09
enough,
36:10
who
36:10
tried
36:10
to
36:11
pass
36:11
a
36:11
bill
36:12
that
36:12
marriage
36:12
would
36:13
be
36:13
contractual.
36:14
And
36:15
they
36:15
floated
36:15
the
36:16
idea
36:16
of
36:16
a
36:16
three
36:16
year
36:17
or
36:17
five
36:17
year
36:17
marriage
36:18
and
36:18
it
36:19
got
36:19
vetoed.
36:19
But
36:20
it's
36:20
so
36:20
interesting
36:21
that
36:21
in
36:21
the
36:21
70s
36:22
they
36:22
were
36:22
thinking
36:23
why
36:24
is
36:24
this
36:24
so
36:25
long
36:25
term?
36:25
And
36:26
it
36:26
doesn't
36:26
benefit
36:27
women.
36:27
I
36:28
love
36:28
that
36:28
point.
36:29
I
36:29
think
36:29
that's
36:30
really
36:30
important
36:30
to
36:31
consider.
36:32
What
36:32
is
36:32
the
36:32
benefit
36:33
and
36:33
what
36:33
does
36:33
it
36:33
bring
36:33
to
36:33
your
36:34
life
36:34
now
36:35
as
36:36
single
36:36
income,
36:36
no
36:37
kids.
36:38
I
36:38
have
36:39
a
36:39
full
36:39
life
36:39
and
36:40
I
36:41
my
36:41
goal
36:41
now
36:42
going
36:43
through
36:43
this,
36:43
I
36:43
mean
36:43
I
36:44
began
36:44
my
36:45
career
36:45
just
36:45
really
36:45
talking
36:46
first
36:46
it
36:46
was
36:46
in
36:46
healthcare
36:47
for
36:47
a
36:47
long
36:47
time.
36:47
But
36:48
the
36:48
really
36:48
bread
36:48
and
36:49
butter
36:49
how
36:49
people
36:49
know
36:49
me
36:50
is
36:50
doing
36:50
makeovers
36:50
and
36:51
style
36:51
and
36:51
all
36:51
this.
36:51
But
36:52
it's
36:52
really
36:52
important
36:53
to
36:53
fix
36:53
the
36:53
inner
36:54
before
36:54
you
36:54
fix
36:54
the
36:55
outer.
36:55
And
36:55
women
36:56
that
36:56
are
36:56
going
36:56
to
36:56
transition
36:57
need
36:57
to
36:57
find
36:57
a
36:58
love
36:58
for
36:58
themselves
36:58
again
36:59
and
36:59
really
36:59
think
37:00
about
37:00
is
37:00
this
37:01
beneficial
37:01
for
37:02
me.
37:02
So
37:02
it's
37:02
not
37:03
like
37:03
I'm
37:04
not
37:04
saying
37:04
that
37:04
anti
37:05
marriage,
37:06
but
37:06
I
37:06
want
37:07
to
37:07
make
37:07
sure
37:07
that
37:09
that
37:09
is
37:09
the
37:09
icing
37:10
of
37:10
my
37:10
cake,
37:11
not
37:11
my
37:11
whole
37:11
cake.
37:12
And
37:12
I'm
37:12
no
37:12
longer
37:13
willing
37:13
to
37:13
sacrifice
37:14
parts
37:14
of
37:14
myself
37:15
for
37:15
another
37:15
person.
37:16
Especially
37:17
if
37:17
I'm
37:17
not
37:17
going
37:17
to
37:17
have
37:17
kids.
37:18
Especially
37:18
if
37:18
you're
37:18
not
37:19
bringing
37:19
anything
37:19
to
37:20
the
37:20
table.
37:21
What's
37:21
the
37:21
point?
37:22
And
37:22
that
37:22
was
37:22
one
37:22
of
37:23
the
37:23
biggest
37:23
moments
37:24
for
37:24
me.
37:24
And
37:25
I'll
37:25
tell
37:25
this
37:25
quick
37:25
story.
37:26
I,
37:26
I
37:27
my
37:27
mom
37:28
died
37:28
from
37:28
triple
37:28
negative
37:29
breast
37:29
cancer.
37:29
I
37:30
had
37:30
a
37:30
lump
37:30
in
37:30
my
37:30
breast
37:31
right
37:31
after
37:32
a
37:32
year
37:32
after
37:33
she
37:33
died.
37:34
Terrifying.
37:35
And
37:35
the
37:36
year
37:36
before
37:37
I
37:37
wasn't
37:37
40
37:37
yet,
37:38
and
37:38
I
37:38
end
37:38
up
37:38
paying
37:38
for
37:39
ultrasound.
37:39
I
37:40
was
37:40
fine,
37:41
but
37:41
it
37:41
was
37:41
the
37:41
change.
37:42
Disease.
37:43
Disease
37:44
brings
37:44
disease.
37:45
And
37:45
this
37:46
was
37:46
when
37:46
I'm
37:46
starting
37:46
to
37:47
see
37:47
the
37:47
fracturing
37:47
of
37:47
my
37:48
relationship.
37:48
So
37:48
I
37:48
went
37:49
from
37:49
having
37:49
no
37:50
issues
37:50
in
37:50
my
37:51
breast
37:51
to
37:51
a
37:52
lump
37:52
in
37:52
my
37:52
breast
37:52
that
37:53
I
37:53
needed
37:53
removed.
37:54
And
37:55
when
37:55
I
37:55
had
37:55
to
37:56
explain
37:56
it,
37:56
we
37:56
had
37:56
to
37:57
talk
37:57
about
37:57
insurance
37:57
and,
37:58
you
37:58
know,
37:58
how
37:58
it
37:58
was
37:58
going
37:58
to
37:59
be,
37:59
how
37:59
we're
37:59
going
37:59
to
37:59
pay
37:59
the
38:00
co.
38:00
Pay.
38:01
And
38:01
it
38:01
was
38:01
like,
38:01
well,
38:02
I
38:02
don't
38:02
have
38:02
any
38:02
money.
38:03
I
38:03
don't
38:03
know.
38:04
And
38:05
those
38:05
are
38:05
those
38:06
little
38:06
seeds
38:06
for
38:06
me
38:07
that
38:07
was
38:07
like,
38:07
what
38:08
do
38:08
you
38:08
mean,
38:08
you
38:08
don't
38:08
know?
38:09
Like,
38:09
it
38:09
became
38:09
just
38:10
my
38:10
problem.
38:11
And
38:11
I
38:11
said,
38:11
if
38:11
this
38:11
is
38:12
all
38:12
my
38:12
problem,
38:13
why
38:13
do
38:13
I
38:13
have
38:14
a
38:14
partner
38:15
to
38:15
navigate
38:15
this
38:16
list.
38:17
And
38:17
those.
38:17
Those
38:18
are
38:18
those
38:18
little
38:18
things
38:19
that
38:19
I
38:19
wish
38:19
women
38:19
would
38:19
pay
38:20
more
38:20
attention
38:20
to.
38:21
As,
38:21
in
38:21
a
38:21
relationship,
38:22
it's
38:22
not
38:22
about
38:23
the
38:23
house
38:23
or
38:24
the
38:24
money
38:24
or
38:24
the
38:25
events
38:25
or
38:25
the
38:25
vacations.
38:26
It's
38:27
the.
38:28
The
38:28
basic
38:29
necessity.
38:29
Necessity
38:30
to
38:30
survive.
38:31
And
38:31
are
38:31
you
38:31
with
38:31
me?
38:32
And
38:32
are
38:32
we
38:32
going
38:32
to
38:33
be
38:33
navigating
38:34
this
38:34
together?
38:35
And
38:35
if
38:36
that
38:36
is
38:36
not
38:36
there
38:36
as
38:37
a
38:37
true
38:37
partnership,
38:38
there
38:38
is
38:38
no
38:39
marriage.
38:39
And
38:39
it
38:39
doesn't
38:40
matter
38:40
about
38:40
the
38:40
contract.
38:41
It's
38:41
just.
38:41
Doesn't
38:42
matter.
38:42
There's
38:43
not
38:43
a
38:43
doubt
38:43
that
38:43
I
38:43
know
38:44
that
38:44
he
38:44
loved
38:44
me,
38:45
but
38:45
it
38:45
was
38:45
just
38:45
like
38:46
he
38:46
couldn't
38:46
deal
38:47
with
38:48
the
38:48
responsibilities
38:49
of
38:49
having
38:50
something
38:50
not
38:50
go
38:51
easily.
38:51
Like,
38:51
this
38:52
is.
38:52
This
38:52
is
38:52
real
38:53
talk.
38:53
This
38:53
is.
38:54
Things
38:54
are
38:54
not
38:54
going
38:54
to
38:54
be
38:55
easy.
38:55
It's
38:55
not
38:55
going
38:55
to
38:55
be,
38:56
you
38:56
know,
38:57
blessings.
38:57
20
38:58
years,
38:58
Monica.
38:58
It's
38:59
not
38:59
just
38:59
easy
38:59
for
39:00
you
39:00
guys.
39:00
I'm
39:00
sure
39:00
you
39:00
have
39:01
your.
39:01
Your
39:01
obstacles.
39:02
Oh,
39:02
I
39:03
quietly
39:03
quit
39:03
all
39:03
the
39:04
time.
39:05
Totally.
39:06
An
39:06
hour
39:06
here,
39:07
a
39:07
two
39:07
hours
39:07
there,
39:08
a
39:08
day
39:08
here.
39:09
Sorry,
39:09
I
39:09
didn't
39:10
hear
39:10
you.
39:11
No,
39:11
no,
39:12
I
39:12
didn't
39:12
hear
39:12
you
39:12
calling
39:13
for
39:13
me.
39:14
So.
39:14
And
39:14
those
39:15
are
39:15
the
39:15
moments
39:15
that
39:16
were
39:16
like,
39:16
okay,
39:17
this
39:17
is
39:17
why
39:17
I'm
39:18
pulling
39:18
away.
39:18
This
39:18
is
39:19
how
39:19
I'm
39:19
quietly
39:19
quitting.
39:20
So
39:20
I
39:20
think
39:21
it's
39:21
more
39:21
or
39:21
less
39:21
like
39:22
redefining
39:22
what
39:22
partnership
39:23
is
39:23
for,
39:24
for
39:25
women
39:25
and
39:26
making
39:26
sure
39:26
that
39:26
aligns.
39:27
Because
39:27
I've
39:27
actually
39:28
talked
39:28
to
39:28
many
39:28
women
39:28
now,
39:29
and
39:29
a
39:29
lot
39:29
of
39:29
clients
39:30
that
39:30
I've
39:30
worked
39:30
with
39:31
that
39:31
are
39:31
not
39:32
interested
39:32
in
39:32
dating
39:33
at
39:33
all.
39:34
They
39:34
are.
39:34
They're
39:35
not
39:35
on
39:35
the
39:35
dating
39:36
apps.
39:36
They're
39:37
not.
39:37
They're
39:37
not
39:38
having
39:38
fun.
39:38
They're
39:39
not.
39:39
They're
39:39
choosing
39:40
celibacy
39:41
because
39:41
there's
39:41
so
39:41
much
39:42
work
39:42
to
39:42
deal
39:42
with
39:42
that.
39:43
And
39:43
that's
39:43
unfortunate
39:44
that
39:44
we've
39:44
gotten
39:44
to
39:44
that
39:45
point
39:45
that
39:45
we
39:45
don't
39:45
want
39:46
to
39:46
deal
39:46
with
39:46
it.
39:46
But
39:47
that's
39:47
Definitely
39:47
a
39:48
change.
39:48
It's
39:48
not
39:48
only
39:49
will
39:49
I
39:49
get
39:49
married
39:50
again,
39:50
it's
39:50
like,
39:50
actually
39:51
I'm
39:51
giving
39:51
up
39:51
men
39:51
altogether.
39:52
I'm
39:52
not.
39:53
I'm
39:53
just
39:53
saying
39:54
a
39:54
lot
39:54
of
39:54
women
39:55
are.
39:55
That
39:56
bears
39:56
out
39:56
statistically.
39:57
There
39:57
was
39:57
a
39:57
recent
39:58
study
39:58
and
39:58
women
39:59
over
39:59
50
40:00
who
40:00
had
40:00
gotten
40:01
out
40:01
of
40:01
marriages
40:01
or
40:02
long
40:02
term
40:02
relationships
40:04
said,
40:04
I'm
40:05
not
40:05
interested
40:05
in
40:05
being
40:05
in
40:06
another
40:06
relationship.
40:07
That's
40:07
not
40:07
to
40:07
say
40:07
I
40:07
don't
40:08
want
40:08
to
40:08
date.
40:08
I
40:08
just
40:08
don't
40:09
want
40:09
to
40:10
be
40:10
in
40:11
your
40:11
conventional
40:12
long
40:12
term
40:13
relationship.
40:14
Monogamous,
40:15
you
40:15
know,
40:15
moving
40:15
towards.
40:16
Are
40:16
we
40:16
moving
40:16
in
40:17
together,
40:17
getting
40:17
closer,
40:18
just
40:18
keeping
40:18
it
40:19
more
40:19
like
40:20
parallel
40:20
play
40:21
so
40:21
I
40:21
can
40:21
continue
40:22
my
40:22
life
40:22
and
40:23
go
40:23
off
40:23
on
40:23
a
40:23
trip
40:24
with
40:24
my
40:24
girlfriends
40:25
and
40:25
do
40:25
what
40:25
I
40:26
want
40:26
to
40:26
do
40:27
and
40:28
not
40:28
feel
40:28
like
40:29
everything
40:29
is
40:30
based
40:30
on
40:30
this
40:30
connection
40:31
with
40:31
like,
40:32
you.
40:32
Know,
40:32
the
40:32
cycles
40:33
of
40:33
marriage,
40:33
like
40:34
we
40:34
were
40:34
saying.
40:34
And
40:34
like,
40:35
you
40:35
know,
40:35
just
40:35
a
40:35
wear
40:35
and
40:35
tear
40:36
and
40:36
things
40:36
changing.
40:38
How
40:38
do
40:38
you
40:38
know
40:39
if
40:39
you're
40:40
like
40:40
consciously,
40:41
quietly
40:41
quitting
40:42
your
40:42
partner
40:43
or
40:43
if
40:43
it's
40:43
just,
40:44
you
40:44
know,
40:44
hey,
40:45
I
40:45
might
40:45
need
40:45
a
40:45
break
40:46
here,
40:46
a
40:46
break
40:47
there.
40:47
You
40:47
know,
40:48
we
40:49
like
40:49
if
40:49
people
40:50
sleep
40:50
in
40:50
separate
40:50
bedrooms,
40:51
let's
40:51
say,
40:51
because
40:51
that's
40:52
actually
40:52
a
40:52
big
40:52
thing
40:52
now,
40:53
is
40:53
this
40:53
sleep
40:53
divorce
40:54
is
40:54
what
40:54
they're
40:54
calling
40:55
it.
40:55
Right.
40:55
And
40:56
it's
40:56
not
40:56
necessarily
40:57
that
40:57
you
40:58
have
40:58
problems
40:58
with
40:58
your
40:59
partner,
40:59
but
40:59
you
40:59
just
41:00
want
41:00
a
41:00
good
41:00
night's
41:00
sleep,
41:01
you
41:01
know,
41:01
and
41:01
maybe
41:02
you
41:02
can't
41:02
get
41:02
it
41:02
if
41:02
that
41:02
person
41:03
is,
41:04
you
41:04
know,
41:04
sleeping
41:04
in
41:04
bed
41:05
with
41:05
you.
41:05
Maybe
41:05
it's
41:05
too
41:05
hot,
41:06
maybe
41:06
they
41:06
move
41:06
around
41:07
too
41:07
much,
41:07
whatever
41:08
it
41:08
is.
41:08
But
41:09
like,
41:09
how
41:09
do
41:09
you
41:10
know
41:10
if
41:11
you're
41:11
quietly
41:12
quitting
41:12
somebody?
41:13
Well,
41:15
I
41:15
think
41:15
it's
41:15
really
41:16
that
41:16
decision
41:16
that
41:17
I'm
41:17
choosing
41:18
the
41:18
opposite
41:18
of
41:18
what
41:18
I
41:19
normally
41:19
would
41:19
do
41:21
and
41:21
then
41:22
moving,
41:22
moving
41:23
with
41:23
it,
41:23
sleeping
41:24
in
41:24
separate
41:24
beds.
41:25
You
41:25
have
41:25
to
41:25
do
41:25
what
41:25
you
41:25
have
41:25
to
41:26
do.
41:26
It's
41:26
when
41:26
the
41:27
communication
41:28
stops,
41:29
when
41:29
you
41:29
don't
41:29
want
41:29
to
41:29
explain
41:30
your
41:30
reason
41:31
why
41:31
that
41:31
you
41:32
want
41:32
to
41:32
go
41:33
to
41:33
an
41:33
event,
41:33
not
41:34
with
41:34
your
41:34
partner,
41:34
when
41:34
you
41:35
choose
41:35
to
41:36
go
41:36
on
41:36
trips
41:36
without
41:36
your
41:37
partner,
41:37
when
41:37
you
41:37
travel
41:38
without
41:38
your
41:38
partner.
41:39
I,
41:40
when
41:41
I
41:41
didn't
41:42
realize
41:42
how
41:43
conscious
41:43
I
41:43
was
41:43
of
41:44
it
41:44
until
41:44
I
41:44
was
41:44
interviewed
41:45
by
41:45
Monica,
41:46
because
41:46
she
41:46
made
41:46
me
41:46
think.
41:46
And
41:47
when
41:47
I
41:47
thought
41:47
back,
41:47
I
41:48
said,
41:48
there's
41:48
so
41:49
many
41:49
more
41:50
times
41:50
that
41:50
I
41:51
quietly
41:51
quit.
41:51
And
41:52
I
41:52
didn't
41:52
know
41:52
it.
41:53
But
41:53
it's
41:53
really
41:54
when
41:55
you
41:55
withdraw
41:55
from
41:55
being
41:57
that
41:57
romantic,
41:58
loved
41:58
up,
41:59
you
41:59
know,
42:00
how
42:00
you
42:00
were
42:01
the
42:01
way
42:01
we
42:01
were
42:02
versus
42:02
the
42:02
way
42:02
we
42:02
are
42:03
now.
42:03
And
42:03
if
42:03
you're
42:03
choosing
42:04
the
42:04
way
42:04
we
42:05
are
42:05
now,
42:05
that's
42:05
when
42:06
you
42:06
know
42:06
you're
42:06
quietly
42:06
quitting.
42:07
And
42:07
I
42:08
would
42:08
Add
42:08
to
42:08
that,
42:11
all
42:11
of
42:11
the
42:11
women
42:11
that
42:12
I
42:12
spoke
42:12
to,
42:12
including
42:13
you,
42:13
Melissa,
42:15
started
42:15
quietly
42:16
quitting
42:16
after
42:17
trying
42:17
to
42:18
strengthen
42:18
a
42:18
relationship.
42:20
So
42:20
listen,
42:21
it's
42:21
like
42:21
when
42:21
you're
42:21
at
42:21
a
42:22
job
42:22
again
42:22
and
42:23
you
42:23
either
42:23
ask
42:24
for
42:24
a
42:24
raise
42:24
or
42:24
you
42:25
want
42:25
more
42:25
responsibility
42:27
and
42:27
you're
42:27
ignored.
42:28
Then
42:29
you
42:29
start
42:29
to
42:29
quietly
42:30
quit.
42:30
You
42:30
feel
42:30
resentful.
42:32
You
42:32
don't
42:32
want
42:32
to
42:32
put
42:32
the
42:33
effort
42:33
in.
42:33
And
42:34
all
42:34
the
42:34
women
42:34
that
42:34
I
42:35
spoke
42:35
to,
42:35
it
42:35
wasn't
42:35
like
42:36
she
42:37
woke
42:37
up
42:37
one
42:37
morning
42:38
and
42:38
thought,
42:38
you
42:39
know
42:39
what?
42:39
I've
42:39
been
42:39
doing
42:40
all
42:40
the
42:40
work
42:40
in
42:40
this
42:40
relationship.
42:41
She
42:41
had
42:42
appealed
42:42
to
42:42
her
42:42
husband
42:43
and
42:43
said,
42:43
hey,
42:43
I
42:43
need
42:43
help
42:44
with
42:44
this,
42:44
or
42:44
I
42:45
don't
42:45
feel
42:45
like
42:46
you're
42:46
thoughtful
42:47
about
42:47
that,
42:47
or
42:47
we're
42:48
not
42:48
talking
42:48
the
42:49
way
42:49
we
42:49
need
42:49
to
42:50
as
42:50
a
42:50
team.
42:51
So
42:52
the
42:52
quietly
42:52
quitting
42:53
follows
42:53
typically
42:54
trying.
42:55
And
42:56
then
42:56
you're
42:56
so
42:56
frustrated
42:58
that
42:58
you
42:58
realize,
43:00
why
43:00
say
43:01
anything?
43:01
You're
43:02
not
43:02
being
43:02
heard.
43:03
So
43:03
that's
43:03
where
43:03
you're
43:03
quietly
43:04
quitting.
43:04
Because
43:05
you
43:05
used
43:05
your
43:05
voice
43:06
and
43:06
it's
43:06
been
43:06
ignored.
43:08
So
43:08
it's
43:08
difficult,
43:09
gradual.
43:10
It
43:10
doesn't
43:11
start
43:11
at
43:11
quietly
43:12
quitting.
43:12
It
43:12
moves
43:13
into
43:13
that
43:13
phase.
43:15
That's
43:15
interesting.
43:15
So
43:16
it's
43:16
kind
43:16
of
43:16
like
43:16
baby
43:17
steps
43:17
into
43:17
it.
43:18
It's
43:18
a
43:18
very
43:18
slow.
43:18
It's
43:19
a
43:19
slower
43:19
process.
43:20
It's
43:20
not
43:20
like.
43:21
Like,
43:21
for
43:21
example,
43:22
with
43:22
you,
43:22
Melissa,
43:22
one
43:22
day
43:23
you
43:23
weren't
43:23
like,
43:23
okay,
43:23
I'm
43:23
going
43:24
to
43:24
quietly
43:24
quit
43:24
now.
43:25
It
43:25
was
43:25
like
43:25
a
43:26
very
43:26
gradual
43:26
process.
43:27
Right.
43:28
All
43:28
those
43:28
little
43:29
things
43:29
that
43:29
happened
43:29
that.
43:30
That
43:30
added
43:30
up.
43:31
It
43:31
was
43:31
like
43:32
a
43:32
little
43:32
pin
43:32
picking
43:33
me,
43:33
picking
43:34
up
43:34
my
43:34
skin,
43:35
and
43:35
it's
43:35
just
43:35
like,
43:35
I
43:36
don't
43:36
want
43:36
to
43:36
deal
43:36
with
43:36
it
43:36
anymore.
43:37
Yeah,
43:38
I
43:38
definitely
43:39
thought
43:39
about
43:39
that,
43:39
that
43:40
it
43:40
started
43:40
slower,
43:41
but
43:41
it.
43:41
It's
43:42
just
43:42
like
43:42
the
43:42
example
43:43
that
43:43
I
43:43
gave.
43:43
There's
43:43
so
43:44
many
43:44
other
43:44
little
43:44
examples
43:45
where
43:45
I
43:45
didn't
43:46
Felt.
43:46
Feel
43:46
supported
43:47
and
43:47
I
43:47
didn't
43:48
feel
43:48
seen
43:48
and
43:49
I
43:49
was
43:49
hurt
43:50
and
43:51
I
43:52
tried
43:52
to
43:52
approach
43:53
obstacles,
43:53
and
43:53
they
43:54
just
43:54
were
43:54
brushed
43:54
aside.
43:55
Well,
43:56
then
43:56
I'm
43:56
going
43:56
to
43:56
figure
43:57
it
43:57
out
43:57
myself.
43:58
So
43:58
I
43:58
think
43:59
anyone
43:59
who's
43:59
going
43:59
through
44:00
that,
44:01
the
44:01
number
44:01
one
44:02
thing
44:02
I
44:02
would
44:02
say
44:02
is
44:03
give
44:03
yourself
44:03
grace
44:05
and
44:05
journal
44:06
and
44:06
write
44:06
about
44:07
it
44:07
so
44:07
you
44:07
can
44:07
see
44:08
clearly.
44:09
And
44:09
then
44:09
if
44:09
you
44:10
choose
44:10
to
44:10
work
44:10
on
44:11
your
44:11
marriage,
44:11
then
44:11
give
44:12
it
44:12
everything
44:12
you
44:13
have,
44:13
because
44:13
it's.
44:14
It's
44:14
hard
44:14
in
44:15
these
44:15
streets.
44:15
Okay.
44:17
It's
44:18
hard
44:18
in
44:18
these
44:18
streets.
44:19
But
44:20
if
44:20
you're
44:20
gonna.
44:20
If
44:20
you're
44:21
gonna
44:21
choose
44:21
yourself.
44:24
Yeah.
44:25
Choose
44:25
yourself.
44:26
Take
44:26
care
44:26
of
44:26
yourself
44:27
and
44:27
try
44:27
things
44:28
out.
44:28
I
44:29
think
44:29
the
44:29
people
44:30
in
44:30
this
44:30
mentality
44:31
that
44:31
we
44:31
have
44:32
to
44:32
stay
44:33
in
44:33
the
44:33
same
44:34
place
44:34
and
44:34
do
44:34
what
44:35
we
44:35
have
44:35
to
44:35
do.
44:35
And
44:35
I.
44:36
I
44:36
Find
44:36
myself
44:37
where
44:37
I
44:37
can
44:37
work
44:38
from
44:38
anywhere.
44:38
And
44:38
I'm.
44:39
I'm
44:40
exploring.
44:40
I
44:40
explored
44:41
Chicago.
44:42
Now
44:42
I'm
44:42
exploring
44:42
Arizona.
44:43
And
44:43
I'm
44:44
looking
44:44
towards
44:45
figuring
44:45
out
44:45
where
44:45
my
44:45
next
44:46
location
44:46
is
44:47
by
44:47
choosing
44:48
me
44:48
and
44:49
pivoting
44:49
and
44:50
being
44:50
not
44:50
afraid
44:50
to
44:51
pivot
44:51
and
44:51
not
44:52
afraid
44:52
to
44:52
reinvent
44:52
yourself,
44:53
but
44:53
not
44:53
afraid
44:54
to
44:54
try
44:54
other
44:54
things.
44:55
Things
44:55
that
44:55
stay
44:56
constant
44:56
with
44:56
me,
44:57
that
44:57
I
44:58
love
44:58
helping
44:58
women
44:59
feel
44:59
good
44:59
on
44:59
the
44:59
inside
45:00
out
45:00
and
45:01
help
45:01
them.
45:01
And
45:02
now
45:02
I
45:02
want
45:03
to
45:03
help
45:03
them
45:03
navigate
45:04
these
45:04
trials
45:05
and
45:05
tribulations.
45:07
But,
45:07
but
45:07
staying
45:07
fluid
45:08
and
45:08
giving
45:08
yourself
45:09
grace
45:09
is
45:09
so
45:09
important,
45:10
you
45:11
know,
45:11
And.
45:11
I
45:11
think
45:11
to
45:11
both
45:12
of
45:12
you
45:12
guys.
45:13
Monica,
45:14
with
45:14
you
45:14
interviewing
45:15
all
45:15
of
45:15
these
45:15
ladies
45:16
for
45:16
the
45:16
article,
45:16
and
45:16
then
45:17
Melissa,
45:17
in
45:17
your
45:17
personal
45:18
experience,
45:20
was
45:20
quietly
45:20
quitting
45:22
a
45:22
means
45:22
of
45:23
survival
45:23
and
45:24
self
45:24
preservation
45:25
for
45:25
you?
45:26
Or
45:26
was
45:26
it
45:26
kind
45:26
of
45:27
just
45:27
a
45:27
way
45:27
to
45:27
sort
45:28
of
45:29
push.
45:29
Push
45:29
the
45:30
inevitable
45:30
away
45:31
for
45:31
a
45:31
while?
45:32
Like,
45:32
what,
45:33
what
45:33
did
45:33
it
45:33
mean?
45:34
Like,
45:34
what
45:34
did
45:34
it
45:35
really
45:35
mean
45:35
for
45:35
everyone?
45:36
Well,
45:37
I'll
45:37
just
45:37
say
45:37
for
45:38
many
45:38
of
45:38
the
45:38
women
45:38
that
45:38
I
45:39
spoke
45:39
to,
45:39
it
45:39
was,
45:40
why
45:40
am
45:40
I
45:41
devoting
45:41
my
45:42
energy
45:42
to
45:42
a
45:43
lost
45:43
cause?
45:45
Like,
45:45
I
45:45
could
45:46
be
45:47
taking
45:47
that
45:48
effort
45:48
and
45:49
time
45:49
and
45:50
devoting
45:50
it
45:50
to
45:50
something
45:51
else,
45:51
whether
45:52
it's
45:52
my
45:52
career,
45:53
my
45:53
parenting
45:54
skills.
45:55
And
45:56
I
45:56
think
45:56
women
45:57
feel
45:58
when
45:58
you're
45:58
not
45:58
heard
45:59
and
45:59
you're
45:59
not
45:59
saying
46:00
seen,
46:01
you
46:01
feel
46:01
unempowered.
46:03
And
46:03
yet
46:03
I
46:04
think
46:04
some
46:04
of
46:04
these
46:04
women
46:05
that
46:05
I
46:05
spoke
46:05
to,
46:06
yes,
46:06
they
46:07
felt
46:07
unseen
46:07
and
46:08
unheard,
46:08
but
46:08
they
46:08
also
46:09
reclaim
46:10
their
46:10
power.
46:10
And
46:11
I'm
46:11
not
46:11
advocating
46:12
for
46:12
quietly
46:12
quitting.
46:13
I
46:13
hope
46:13
that
46:14
is
46:14
a
46:14
stage
46:15
that
46:15
you
46:15
go
46:15
through
46:15
and
46:16
then
46:16
you
46:16
decide,
46:17
either
46:17
I'm
46:17
going
46:18
to
46:18
leave
46:18
or
46:19
I'm
46:19
going
46:19
to
46:20
get
46:20
loud
46:21
and
46:21
tell
46:22
my
46:22
partner
46:22
that
46:23
I'm
46:23
not
46:23
quietly
46:24
quitting
46:24
anymore.
46:24
I'm
46:25
screaming,
46:25
we
46:25
need
46:26
to
46:26
work
46:26
on
46:26
this
46:26
relationship.
46:28
So
46:28
I
46:29
think
46:29
it
46:29
is
46:29
a
46:29
form
46:29
of
46:30
self
46:30
preservation,
46:31
and
46:31
I
46:32
think
46:32
it's
46:32
a
46:32
phase,
46:33
a
46:33
really
46:33
important
46:34
phase.
46:34
It's
46:34
like
46:35
the
46:35
pot
46:35
is
46:36
boiling
46:36
on
46:36
the
46:37
stove.
46:37
Are
46:37
you
46:37
going
46:37
to
46:37
take
46:37
the
46:38
pot
46:38
off?
46:38
Are
46:38
you
46:38
going
46:39
to
46:39
let
46:39
it
46:39
explode?
46:40
I
46:41
couldn't
46:41
agree
46:41
more.
46:42
For
46:42
you,
46:43
Melissa,
46:43
was
46:43
it
46:43
self
46:44
preservation
46:44
or
46:45
was
46:45
it
46:45
something
46:45
like
46:46
a
46:46
kind
46:46
of
46:46
a
46:46
baby
46:47
step
46:47
towards
46:47
a
46:47
bigger,
46:48
like,
46:48
let's
46:48
say
46:48
divorce?
46:49
I
46:50
didn't
46:50
think
46:50
I
46:50
was
46:50
going
46:50
to
46:51
file
46:51
for
46:51
divorce.
46:52
I
46:52
didn't
46:52
think
46:53
I
46:53
was
46:53
on
46:53
that
46:53
path.
46:54
But
46:54
we
46:54
go
46:55
back
46:55
to
46:55
looking
46:55
at
46:55
where
46:56
I
46:56
was
46:56
when
46:56
I
46:56
didn't
46:56
want
46:56
to
46:57
pick
46:57
up
46:57
this
46:57
call
46:57
in
46:57
France
46:58
and
46:58
then
46:59
not
46:59
filing
47:00
till
47:00
a
47:00
year
47:00
later.
47:01
I
47:01
really
47:01
tried.
47:02
I
47:02
really
47:02
wanted
47:03
it
47:03
to
47:03
work.
47:04
It
47:05
was
47:05
self
47:05
preservation,
47:06
to
47:06
survive.
47:07
But
47:07
then
47:07
I
47:07
realized
47:08
I
47:08
could
47:08
no
47:08
longer
47:08
survive
47:09
in
47:09
that
47:09
situation,
47:10
it
47:10
was
47:10
not
47:11
going
47:11
to
47:11
get
47:11
better.
47:12
And
47:12
then
47:12
I
47:12
chose
47:13
divorce.
47:14
But
47:14
I
47:15
would
47:15
hope,
47:15
like
47:16
I
47:16
said,
47:16
women
47:17
that
47:17
are
47:17
on
47:17
the
47:17
fence,
47:18
if
47:18
you
47:18
choose
47:19
your
47:19
husband,
47:19
you
47:19
want
47:20
to
47:20
make
47:20
this
47:20
work,
47:21
give
47:21
it
47:21
all
47:21
that
47:22
you
47:22
can.
47:22
Yeah.
47:23
What
47:23
advice
47:23
would
47:24
you
47:24
give
47:24
to
47:24
those
47:24
women?
47:25
Would
47:25
you
47:25
say?
47:25
I
47:26
mean,
47:26
are
47:26
there
47:26
certain
47:26
things
47:27
that
47:27
you
47:27
think
47:27
in
47:27
your
47:28
mind
47:28
might
47:29
have
47:29
helped,
47:29
or
47:30
are
47:30
there,
47:30
you
47:31
know,
47:31
things
47:31
that
47:31
you
47:31
think
47:31
would
47:31
help
47:32
other
47:32
women
47:32
if
47:33
they're
47:33
kind
47:33
of
47:33
on
47:33
this
47:33
fence?
47:35
Looking
47:35
back
47:35
now
47:35
and
47:36
having
47:36
a
47:36
significant
47:37
number
47:37
of
47:37
married
47:37
friends
47:38
and
47:38
have
47:38
single
47:38
girlfriends,
47:39
People
47:39
don't
47:39
like
47:39
to
47:40
talk
47:40
about
47:41
this
47:41
part.
47:41
This
47:41
is
47:42
the
47:42
icky
47:42
part.
47:42
A
47:42
lot
47:43
of
47:43
people
47:43
keep
47:43
it
47:43
quiet
47:44
because
47:44
it's
47:44
so
47:45
you
47:46
still
47:46
have
47:47
joint
47:47
appearances
47:48
to
47:48
make
47:48
together.
47:49
And.
47:49
And
47:49
then
47:50
it's
47:50
like,
47:50
well,
47:50
I
47:50
know
47:51
she
47:51
hates
47:51
her
47:51
husband,
47:51
but
47:52
now
47:52
he's
47:52
here.
47:52
How
47:52
do
47:53
I
47:53
navigate
47:54
it?
47:54
There's
47:54
a
47:54
lot
47:54
of
47:55
that
47:55
there
47:55
that
47:55
you
47:55
just
47:56
adjunct,
47:56
too.
47:57
I
47:57
think
47:58
if
47:58
someone
47:58
is
47:58
consciously
47:59
quite.
48:00
That
48:00
they're
48:00
quietly
48:00
quitting
48:01
and
48:01
they're
48:01
seriously
48:01
contemplating
48:02
divorce,
48:03
do
48:03
your
48:03
best
48:03
to.
48:04
To
48:05
know
48:05
what
48:05
your
48:06
next
48:06
steps
48:06
will
48:06
look
48:07
like.
48:07
Is
48:07
that
48:07
meaning
48:07
that
48:08
you're
48:08
going
48:08
to
48:08
move
48:08
out
48:08
and
48:09
find
48:09
a
48:09
place?
48:09
Is
48:10
that
48:10
meaning
48:10
you
48:10
have
48:10
to
48:11
move
48:11
somewhere
48:11
safe
48:11
for
48:11
your
48:11
children?
48:12
Is
48:12
he
48:12
going
48:12
to
48:12
leave?
48:14
If
48:14
you.
48:15
Who's
48:16
your
48:16
beneficiary
48:16
in
48:17
all
48:17
of
48:17
your
48:17
accounts,
48:18
how
48:18
will
48:18
that
48:19
affect
48:19
your
48:19
business?
48:19
Looking
48:20
at
48:20
those
48:20
pieces
48:21
to
48:21
put
48:21
in
48:21
place
48:22
before
48:22
you
48:22
leap
48:24
and
48:24
having
48:24
a
48:25
support
48:25
system
48:25
and
48:25
also
48:26
having
48:26
as
48:26
much
48:27
cash
48:27
as
48:27
possible
48:28
because
48:29
cash
48:29
is
48:29
king
48:30
in
48:30
these
48:30
situations.
48:30
So
48:31
when
48:31
you
48:31
have
48:31
to
48:31
show
48:32
your
48:32
accounts
48:33
because
48:33
going
48:34
through
48:34
a
48:34
divorce,
48:34
they
48:35
look
48:35
at
48:35
every
48:35
last
48:36
line.
48:37
If
48:37
you
48:37
move
48:37
things
48:38
out
48:38
or
48:38
if
48:38
you're
48:38
taking
48:39
cash
48:39
out,
48:39
stuff
48:40
it
48:40
under
48:40
the
48:40
bed
48:40
or
48:40
do
48:41
something
48:41
with
48:41
it,
48:41
because
48:41
cash
48:42
is
48:42
king.
48:43
To
48:43
have
48:43
lower.
48:44
To
48:44
have
48:45
lower
48:45
income
48:45
stuff.
48:46
Nothing
48:47
legal.
48:47
I'm
48:47
just
48:48
saying
48:49
pay
48:49
in
48:49
cash,
48:51
pay
48:51
cash,
48:51
cash
48:52
is
48:52
paid.
48:53
Melissa,
48:54
I
48:54
love
48:54
what
48:54
you
48:54
said
48:55
about
48:55
journaling,
48:56
and
48:56
you
48:56
just
48:56
mentioned
48:57
that
48:57
talking
48:57
to
48:58
me
48:58
helped
48:59
you
48:59
organize
49:00
your
49:00
thoughts
49:00
around
49:01
it.
49:01
A
49:01
few
49:01
women
49:01
that
49:01
I
49:02
interviewed
49:02
have
49:02
since
49:03
reached
49:03
out
49:03
to
49:03
me
49:03
and
49:04
said
49:04
thank
49:05
you.
49:05
In
49:05
being
49:06
interviewed,
49:06
I
49:06
really
49:07
found
49:07
some
49:07
clarity
49:08
around
49:09
how
49:09
I
49:09
feel
49:10
and
49:10
what
49:11
I
49:11
can
49:11
do
49:11
and
49:11
what
49:11
the
49:12
possibilities
49:12
are
49:13
and
49:14
how
49:14
insane
49:15
I
49:15
have
49:15
felt.
49:16
I
49:16
think
49:16
that's
49:16
something
49:16
we
49:17
have
49:17
to
49:17
touch
49:17
upon.
49:18
Women
49:19
start
49:19
to
49:19
feel
49:19
crazy
49:20
because
49:20
they're
49:21
being
49:21
gaslit.
49:22
They're
49:22
not
49:22
being
49:22
seen,
49:22
they're
49:23
not
49:23
being
49:23
heard.
49:24
So
49:24
reach
49:24
out
49:25
to
49:25
your
49:25
friends
49:25
or
49:26
find
49:26
a
49:26
therapist
49:27
or
49:27
someone
49:28
who
49:28
can
49:29
listen
49:29
to
49:29
you
49:29
because
49:30
clearly
49:30
your
49:30
partner's
49:31
not
49:31
doing
49:31
that.
49:32
And
49:33
that's
49:33
when
49:33
you
49:33
start
49:34
to
49:34
spin
49:35
mentally
49:36
and
49:36
start
49:36
to
49:36
Feel
49:36
like,
49:37
oh,
49:37
this
49:37
is
49:37
me
49:37
and
49:38
maybe
49:38
I'm
49:38
causing
49:39
this
49:39
or
49:39
there's
49:40
no
49:40
way
49:40
out.
49:40
So
49:41
really
49:41
turn
49:41
to
49:41
other
49:42
women.
49:43
I
49:43
did
49:43
mention
49:44
a
49:44
group
49:44
in
49:44
my
49:44
article
49:45
and
49:45
I
49:46
thought
49:47
that
49:47
is
49:47
wonderful
49:47
that
49:48
this
49:48
is
49:48
a
49:48
group
49:48
called
49:49
in
49:49
essence,
49:49
Stay
49:49
or
49:49
Go,
49:50
where
49:50
these
49:50
women
49:50
have
49:51
a
49:51
safe
49:51
space
49:52
to
49:52
say
49:52
it
49:52
all.
49:53
Say
49:53
talk
49:53
about
49:54
the
49:54
insults
49:54
that
49:55
they've
49:55
shouldered
49:56
or
49:57
the
49:57
lack
49:57
of
49:57
intimacy,
49:58
see,
49:58
or
49:59
the
49:59
resentment
50:00
they
50:00
feel
50:00
or
50:00
the
50:00
guilt
50:01
because
50:01
their
50:01
parents.
50:02
I
50:02
mean,
50:02
there's
50:02
so
50:03
much
50:03
to
50:03
it.
50:04
And
50:04
people
50:04
often
50:05
say,
50:05
oh
50:05
my
50:05
God,
50:06
marriage
50:06
is
50:06
hard.
50:07
And
50:07
I
50:07
think,
50:08
yeah,
50:08
of
50:08
course
50:08
it's
50:09
hard.
50:09
So
50:09
is
50:10
working
50:10
and
50:11
making
50:11
money.
50:11
So
50:12
is
50:12
parenting.
50:13
So
50:13
is,
50:14
you
50:14
know,
50:14
keeping
50:14
your
50:15
health
50:16
tip
50:16
top.
50:16
Like
50:17
it's
50:18
a
50:18
responsibility,
50:19
I
50:19
guess,
50:19
and
50:19
it's
50:20
long
50:20
term.
50:21
And
50:21
it's
50:22
not
50:22
just
50:22
you.
50:22
You
50:23
have
50:23
to
50:23
rely
50:23
on
50:23
someone
50:24
else,
50:24
which
50:25
can
50:25
make
50:25
it
50:25
really
50:25
hard
50:26
if
50:26
that
50:26
person's
50:27
not
50:27
on
50:27
board
50:27
with
50:27
you.
50:28
Absolutely.
50:30
Yeah.
50:30
And
50:30
I
50:30
love
50:31
the
50:31
point
50:32
that
50:32
actually
50:33
both
50:33
of
50:33
you
50:33
guys
50:33
make
50:34
about
50:34
having
50:34
a
50:34
support
50:35
system,
50:35
you
50:35
know,
50:35
because
50:36
I
50:36
think
50:36
too
50:37
maybe
50:38
somebody
50:38
who's
50:39
going
50:39
through
50:39
this
50:39
might
50:39
be
50:40
embarrassed
50:40
to
50:40
talk
50:41
about
50:41
it,
50:41
you
50:41
know,
50:41
with
50:42
their
50:42
best
50:42
friends
50:42
or
50:43
with
50:43
their
50:43
family
50:44
or,
50:44
you
50:44
know,
50:45
whoever
50:45
their
50:45
chosen
50:46
person
50:46
is.
50:47
And
50:47
I
50:47
think
50:47
that
50:48
we
50:48
have
50:49
to,
50:49
as
50:49
women
50:51
feel
50:51
okay
50:52
with
50:52
that
50:52
because
50:53
all
50:53
of
50:53
that
50:54
like
50:54
internalizing
50:55
and
50:55
not
50:56
sharing
50:57
with
50:57
people
50:57
who
50:58
are
50:58
there
50:58
to
50:58
love
50:58
and
50:59
support
50:59
you
51:00
manifests
51:00
like
51:01
you
51:01
were
51:01
saying
51:01
with,
51:02
you
51:02
know,
51:02
health
51:03
issues.
51:03
I
51:03
mean,
51:03
I
51:04
think
51:04
there
51:04
were,
51:04
in
51:05
your
51:05
article,
51:05
Monica,
51:06
there
51:06
was
51:06
somebody
51:06
who
51:07
got
51:07
Parkinson's
51:08
disease.
51:08
Like,
51:09
it's,
51:09
it's,
51:10
it.
51:10
There
51:10
are
51:11
like
51:11
some
51:11
scary
51:12
side
51:12
effects
51:13
and
51:13
things
51:13
that
51:13
can
51:14
happen
51:14
on
51:15
the
51:15
other
51:15
side
51:15
of
51:15
things,
51:16
like
51:16
if
51:16
you
51:16
don't
51:17
talk
51:17
to
51:18
people,
51:18
you
51:18
know,
51:18
and
51:19
I
51:19
think
51:19
that's
51:19
even
51:19
more
51:20
reason
51:20
to,
51:21
to
51:21
involve,
51:22
you
51:22
know,
51:22
you're
51:22
trusted,
51:23
the
51:23
people
51:23
around
51:24
you.
51:24
Yes,
51:25
absolutely.
51:26
It's
51:26
real.
51:27
It
51:27
can
51:27
actualize
51:28
as
51:28
disease,
51:29
honestly,
51:30
as.
51:30
Much
51:30
as
51:30
it
51:30
is
51:31
to
51:31
have
51:31
some.
51:31
Like,
51:32
I,
51:32
I
51:33
spoke
51:33
to
51:33
my
51:33
family
51:34
about
51:34
it.
51:35
But
51:35
movement,
51:36
movement,
51:37
breath,
51:37
work.
51:37
You
51:38
have
51:38
to
51:38
get
51:38
it
51:39
out.
51:39
Those
51:39
things
51:39
are
51:40
key.
51:40
Movement,
51:40
breath,
51:41
work,
51:41
journaling
51:41
a
51:42
class
51:42
that
51:42
you
51:42
love.
51:42
Maybe
51:43
you're
51:43
taking
51:43
out
51:44
your,
51:44
your
51:45
aggregate
51:45
aggravation
51:46
on
51:46
a
51:46
boxer
51:47
or,
51:47
you
51:47
know,
51:47
boxing
51:48
or
51:48
cycling,
51:49
whatever
51:49
that
51:49
is.
51:49
Dance,
51:50
but
51:50
choose
51:51
your,
51:51
choose
51:52
your
51:52
poison
51:52
and
51:52
stick
51:53
to
51:53
it.
51:53
For
51:54
sure,
51:54
for
51:54
sure.
51:55
Based
51:56
on
51:56
what
51:56
you
51:56
guys
51:56
know,
51:57
Melissa,
51:57
obviously
51:58
your
51:58
lived
51:58
experience.
51:59
And
51:59
Monica
51:59
interviewing
52:00
all
52:00
of
52:00
these
52:01
women
52:01
for
52:01
the
52:01
article.
52:02
Is
52:03
it
52:03
possible
52:03
to
52:04
live
52:04
in
52:05
a
52:05
quietly
52:06
quit
52:07
marriage
52:08
forever?
52:09
Like,
52:09
I
52:09
mean,
52:10
could
52:10
this
52:10
be
52:10
a
52:11
way
52:11
to
52:11
live
52:12
if
52:12
people,
52:13
maybe
52:13
they
52:13
don't
52:13
want
52:14
to
52:14
go
52:14
through
52:14
a
52:14
divorce
52:15
or
52:15
Maybe
52:15
they
52:15
don't
52:16
want
52:16
to
52:16
separate
52:16
their
52:16
finances
52:17
or
52:17
whatever
52:17
the
52:18
reason
52:18
is.
52:18
Is
52:18
it
52:19
possible
52:19
to
52:19
live
52:19
quietly
52:20
quit
52:20
for
52:21
the
52:21
rest
52:21
of
52:21
your
52:21
life?
52:22
I
52:22
spoke
52:22
with
52:23
one
52:23
woman,
52:23
Wednesday
52:24
Martin,
52:25
and
52:26
she
52:27
wrote
52:27
a
52:27
book,
52:28
what
52:28
was
52:28
it?
52:28
Primates
52:29
of
52:29
Park
52:30
Avenue,
52:30
I
52:31
believe
52:31
she's
52:31
an
52:32
author.
52:32
She's
52:32
also
52:32
a
52:33
psychologist,
52:34
and
52:34
she
52:35
was
52:35
quietly
52:35
quitting
52:36
with
52:36
her
52:36
husband.
52:36
She
52:37
now
52:37
lives
52:37
in
52:37
la.
52:38
He
52:38
lives
52:38
in
52:38
New
52:39
York.
52:40
I
52:40
don't
52:41
know
52:41
that
52:41
quietly
52:42
quitting
52:43
I
52:43
would
52:43
recommend.
52:44
But
52:44
I
52:45
think
52:45
there
52:45
are
52:45
ways
52:45
of
52:46
negotiating
52:46
marriage
52:47
so
52:48
that
52:48
either
52:48
you
52:49
decide
52:49
to
52:49
open
52:49
it
52:50
up
52:50
or
52:50
you
52:50
live
52:51
apart.
52:52
But
52:52
I
52:52
think
52:52
quietly
52:53
quitting
52:53
takes
52:53
such
52:54
a
52:54
toll
52:54
on
52:55
women
52:55
emotionally
52:56
and
52:56
men
52:57
too,
52:57
that
52:58
to
52:58
sustain
52:59
that
52:59
type
53:00
of
53:00
resentment
53:02
would
53:03
really
53:03
compromise
53:03
your
53:04
health.
53:04
I
53:04
think
53:04
it
53:04
would.
53:05
But
53:05
I
53:06
think
53:06
once
53:06
you
53:06
acknowledge,
53:07
like,
53:07
hey,
53:08
we've
53:08
been
53:08
quietly
53:09
quitting
53:09
for
53:10
10
53:10
years,
53:11
let's
53:12
do
53:12
something
53:13
about
53:13
it,
53:14
so
53:14
let's
53:15
live
53:15
a
53:16
life
53:16
apart
53:17
if
53:17
we
53:17
want
53:17
to
53:17
stay
53:18
married.
53:18
And
53:18
I'm
53:18
not
53:19
sure
53:19
what
53:19
the
53:19
upside
53:20
of
53:20
that
53:20
is.
53:20
Maybe
53:20
it's
53:21
financial,
53:21
maybe
53:22
it's
53:22
because
53:22
of
53:22
your
53:22
kids.
53:23
A
53:23
lot
53:23
of
53:23
people
53:24
say,
53:24
I
53:24
don't
53:24
want
53:25
to
53:25
leave
53:25
until
53:25
my
53:25
kids
53:26
are
53:26
grown.
53:26
I
53:26
have
53:26
to
53:27
say,
53:27
having
53:28
parents
53:28
that
53:29
really
53:29
despise
53:30
each
53:30
other
53:30
for
53:30
most
53:31
of
53:31
my
53:31
life,
53:32
we
53:32
were
53:33
onto
53:33
it.
53:33
We
53:33
understood.
53:34
We
53:34
saw
53:35
it,
53:35
like,
53:35
don't
53:36
stick
53:36
around
53:36
for
53:36
your
53:36
kids.
53:37
They
53:37
see
53:37
a
53:38
lot.
53:38
So
53:40
I
53:40
think
53:40
it
53:40
would
53:40
be
53:40
sad
53:41
to
53:42
live
53:42
out
53:43
a
53:43
quietly
53:45
quit
53:45
marriage.
53:46
I
53:46
think
53:47
it
53:47
would
53:47
be.
53:47
It's
53:48
just,
53:49
you
53:49
know,
53:49
why
53:50
use
53:51
your
53:51
voice
53:51
and
53:52
either
53:52
make
53:53
some
53:53
arrangement
53:53
that
53:53
works
53:54
for
53:54
both
53:54
of
53:54
you,
53:55
or
53:55
you
53:55
primarily,
53:56
or
53:57
get
53:57
out.
53:59
I
53:59
think
53:59
so
53:59
much
53:59
of
53:59
the
54:00
time,
54:00
like
54:00
you're
54:00
saying,
54:01
is
54:01
we
54:01
wait
54:01
for
54:01
the
54:02
kids,
54:02
right?
54:02
We're
54:03
like,
54:03
oh,
54:04
the
54:04
kids
54:04
are
54:04
going
54:04
to
54:04
be
54:04
going
54:04
to
54:05
college
54:05
in
54:05
10
54:05
years.
54:06
You
54:06
know,
54:06
I
54:06
can
54:06
stick
54:07
this
54:07
out,
54:07
or,
54:07
you
54:08
know,
54:08
they're
54:09
moving
54:09
out.
54:09
But
54:10
like
54:10
you're
54:10
saying,
54:11
I
54:11
think,
54:11
you
54:11
know,
54:11
you
54:12
can't
54:12
wait
54:13
for
54:13
that.
54:13
That
54:13
can't
54:14
be
54:14
the
54:14
end
54:14
goal.
54:15
But
54:15
maybe
54:15
it's
54:16
also
54:16
kind
54:16
of
54:16
kicking
54:17
the
54:17
can
54:17
down
54:17
the
54:17
road
54:17
a
54:18
bit
54:18
too,
54:18
right?
54:18
It's
54:19
like
54:19
not
54:19
really
54:20
having
54:20
to
54:20
make
54:20
that
54:21
choice.
54:21
Like,
54:22
it's
54:22
almost
54:22
like
54:22
it's
54:22
kind
54:23
of
54:23
made
54:23
for
54:23
you,
54:23
but
54:24
without
54:24
having
54:24
to
54:24
make
54:24
it.
54:25
I
54:25
mean,
54:26
I've
54:26
seen
54:26
so
54:26
many
54:26
couples
54:27
that
54:27
decide
54:28
to
54:28
part
54:28
when
54:28
the
54:29
kids
54:29
go
54:29
to
54:29
college
54:30
and
54:30
the
54:31
kids
54:31
known
54:31
about
54:32
it
54:32
the
54:32
entire
54:32
time,
54:32
and
54:33
it's
54:33
not
54:33
great
54:33
for
54:33
them.
54:34
So
54:35
why
54:35
stay
54:36
in
54:36
dis
54:36
ease
54:37
to
54:37
have
54:38
something
54:38
manifest
54:38
later?
54:39
Like,
54:39
there's
54:39
not
54:40
one
54:40
day
54:40
that
54:40
I
54:40
ever
54:40
regret
54:41
being
54:41
single
54:42
on
54:42
my
54:42
own
54:42
and
54:42
choosing
54:43
me.
54:43
Not
54:43
one
54:44
second.
54:44
It
54:44
is
54:44
Definitely
54:45
the
54:45
best
54:45
decision
54:45
for
54:46
my
54:46
health
54:46
and
54:46
my
54:47
future.
54:47
Yeah.
54:48
And
54:48
I
54:48
always
54:48
say,
54:48
I
54:49
got
54:49
married
54:49
at
54:49
38
54:51
and
54:51
I
54:51
know
54:52
I
54:52
love
54:52
my
54:53
mom.
54:53
My
54:53
dad's
54:54
passed
54:54
away.
54:54
They
54:55
had
54:55
a
54:55
terrible
54:55
marriage.
54:57
I
54:57
might
54:57
have
54:57
gotten
54:58
married
54:58
sooner,
54:58
but
54:58
they
54:59
definitely
54:59
passed
55:00
on
55:00
marriage
55:01
trauma
55:01
to
55:01
me.
55:01
I've
55:02
never
55:02
heard
55:02
that
55:02
expression.
55:03
But
55:04
there's
55:04
a
55:05
reason
55:05
Gen
55:05
Z
55:06
is
55:06
not
55:06
getting
55:07
married.
55:07
And
55:08
the
55:08
number
55:08
one
55:09
reason
55:09
they
55:09
speak
55:09
to
55:10
is
55:10
because
55:11
they
55:11
watch
55:11
their
55:11
parents
55:12
fight.
55:12
They
55:12
watch
55:13
their
55:13
parents
55:13
be
55:13
miserable.
55:14
Why
55:14
would
55:14
I
55:15
want
55:15
that?
55:16
And
55:17
I
55:17
may
55:18
have
55:18
gotten
55:18
married
55:18
sooner,
55:19
but
55:19
seeing
55:19
my
55:20
parents
55:21
so
55:21
unhappy
55:21
together
55:22
made
55:22
me
55:22
think,
55:23
do
55:23
I
55:23
really
55:24
want
55:24
a
55:24
piece
55:24
of
55:24
this?
55:24
And
55:24
I
55:25
want
55:25
to
55:25
be
55:25
sure.
55:25
And
55:26
I
55:26
don't
55:26
want
55:26
to
55:26
get
55:27
in
55:28
that
55:28
type
55:28
of
55:28
situation.
55:29
So
55:30
think
55:31
about
55:31
your
55:31
kids.
55:31
They're
55:32
watching
55:32
you're
55:32
modeling
55:33
a
55:33
relationship.
55:34
So
55:35
they're
55:35
watching
55:36
how
55:36
you
55:37
treat
55:37
each
55:37
other.
55:38
And
55:38
that's
55:39
imprinting.
55:39
So
55:40
that
55:40
when
55:40
they
55:40
go
55:40
out
55:40
into
55:41
the
55:41
world,
55:41
that's
55:41
what
55:41
they
55:42
think
55:42
they
55:42
should
55:42
do.
55:43
And
55:43
also
55:44
how
55:44
you
55:44
treat
55:45
yourself.
55:46
Yes.
55:47
You
55:47
learn
55:47
so
55:48
much
55:48
from
55:48
your
55:48
mother.
55:49
Your
55:49
mother
55:49
is
55:49
miserable
55:50
and
55:50
happy.
55:50
Not.
55:51
Not
55:51
taking
55:51
care
55:51
of
55:51
herself,
55:52
not
55:52
putting
55:52
makeup
55:52
on
55:53
her
55:53
face
55:53
dressing
55:53
slummy.
55:54
So
55:54
miserable.
55:55
That's
55:55
the
55:55
energy
55:56
that
55:56
you're
55:56
teaching
55:56
your
55:56
daughter
55:57
or
55:57
son
55:57
that
55:57
it's
55:58
okay
55:58
or
55:58
it's
55:58
okay
55:59
how
55:59
your
55:59
husband
55:59
treats
56:00
your.
56:00
Your
56:00
kids.
56:01
You
56:01
have
56:01
to
56:01
choose
56:02
you
56:02
and
56:02
show
56:02
the
56:03
best
56:03
examples.
56:03
Your
56:04
kids
56:04
are
56:04
living
56:04
to
56:04
their
56:04
fullest
56:05
and
56:05
at
56:05
their
56:05
best
56:06
ability.
56:06
I
56:07
love
56:07
that
56:07
you're.
56:08
So.
56:09
We
56:09
should
56:09
choose
56:10
ourselves,
56:10
especially
56:11
in
56:11
midlife,
56:11
too,
56:12
because,
56:13
you
56:13
know,
56:13
we've
56:13
spent
56:14
so
56:14
much
56:14
of
56:14
our
56:15
lives
56:15
taking
56:15
care
56:15
of
56:15
other
56:16
people.
56:16
You
56:16
know,
56:17
whether
56:17
that
56:17
be
56:17
kids,
56:18
partners,
56:19
work,
56:19
you
56:20
know,
56:20
family,
56:21
aging
56:21
family,
56:21
like,
56:22
whatever
56:22
that
56:22
looks
56:23
like.
56:23
It's
56:24
like
56:24
we
56:24
put
56:24
so.
56:24
But
56:25
everybody
56:25
else
56:26
before
56:26
us
56:27
and
56:27
it
56:27
is
56:28
the
56:28
time
56:28
now
56:29
to
56:29
look.
56:30
And
56:30
maybe
56:30
that's
56:31
scary.
56:31
Maybe
56:32
that,
56:32
you
56:33
know,
56:33
maybe
56:33
that
56:33
means
56:33
you
56:34
reevaluate
56:34
your
56:35
relationship
56:35
or
56:36
like
56:36
your
56:36
living
56:37
situation
56:37
or
56:37
your
56:38
job
56:38
or
56:38
like,
56:39
whatever
56:39
that
56:39
is.
56:40
But
56:40
you're
56:41
right.
56:41
It's
56:41
like
56:41
we
56:41
need
56:42
to,
56:42
like,
56:42
think
56:42
about
56:42
ourselves
56:43
for
56:43
once
56:43
and
56:44
say,
56:44
is
56:44
this
56:45
working
56:45
for
56:45
me?
56:47
You
56:47
know,
56:48
and
56:48
it's.
56:49
It
56:49
can
56:49
be
56:49
scary.
56:50
It
56:50
is
56:50
scary.
56:51
It
56:51
is
56:51
scary.
56:52
But
56:52
it's
56:52
worth
56:52
staying
56:53
in
56:53
an
56:53
unhappy
56:54
marriage
56:54
that
56:54
makes
56:54
you
56:55
sick,
56:55
that
56:56
you
56:56
fear
56:56
coming
56:57
home,
56:57
you
56:57
fear
56:58
hearing
56:58
them
56:59
walk
56:59
in
56:59
the
56:59
door,
57:00
or
57:00
you
57:00
tiptoe
57:00
and
57:01
slowly
57:01
move
57:02
to
57:02
your
57:02
room
57:02
because
57:02
you
57:03
don't
57:03
want
57:03
to
57:03
deal
57:03
with
57:04
it.
57:04
Who
57:04
wants
57:05
to
57:05
live
57:05
like
57:05
that?
57:06
Choose
57:06
you.
57:07
Find
57:07
a
57:07
place
57:07
that
57:07
makes
57:08
me
57:08
happy.
57:08
Move
57:09
on.
57:09
Send
57:09
them
57:10
peace
57:10
and
57:10
love.
57:11
But
57:11
start
57:12
your
57:12
next
57:12
chapter.
57:13
Right?
57:13
Absolutely.
57:14
So
57:14
what
57:15
advice
57:15
would
57:15
you
57:15
give
57:15
to
57:16
women
57:16
who
57:16
are
57:16
listening
57:17
right
57:17
now
57:17
who
57:17
feel
57:18
stuck.
57:18
Like,
57:19
they
57:19
feel
57:19
like
57:20
I
57:21
might
57:21
not
57:21
be
57:21
in
57:21
a
57:21
happy
57:22
marriage
57:22
right
57:23
now.
57:23
I'd
57:23
really
57:23
maybe
57:24
like
57:24
to
57:24
explore
57:25
the
57:25
other
57:26
side
57:26
of
57:26
it.
57:26
You
57:26
know,
57:27
maybe
57:27
they
57:27
want
57:27
to
57:27
get
57:28
divorced.
57:28
Maybe
57:28
they
57:28
want
57:29
to
57:29
try,
57:29
you
57:29
know,
57:30
baby
57:30
steps
57:30
and
57:31
kind
57:31
of
57:31
figure
57:32
out
57:32
if
57:32
it's
57:32
the
57:32
right.
57:33
The
57:33
right
57:33
way
57:33
to
57:33
go.
57:34
What
57:34
would
57:34
you
57:35
say
57:35
to
57:35
a
57:35
woman
57:35
like
57:36
that
57:36
that
57:36
is
57:36
currently
57:37
in
57:37
this,
57:37
like,
57:38
kind
57:38
of
57:38
state
57:38
of
57:39
limbo?
57:40
I
57:40
would
57:40
say
57:41
talk
57:42
to
57:42
your
57:42
friends,
57:43
and
57:43
if
57:43
you
57:43
don't
57:44
have
57:44
friends,
57:44
look
57:45
for
57:45
a
57:45
support
57:45
group.
57:46
As
57:46
I
57:46
mentioned,
57:46
there's
57:47
a
57:47
support
57:47
group
57:48
that's
57:48
in
57:49
my
57:49
article
57:50
that.
57:51
It's
57:52
called
57:52
Stay
57:52
or
57:52
Go,
57:53
and
57:53
it's
57:54
Rebecca
57:54
Wolf
57:54
and
57:55
Mindy
57:55
Walder,
57:56
and
57:56
they
57:56
counsel
57:57
women
57:57
who.
57:57
Who
57:57
are
57:58
in
57:58
this,
57:59
like,
57:59
emotional,
58:00
physical
58:01
rut.
58:01
But
58:02
to
58:02
Melissa's
58:03
point,
58:03
too,
58:03
write
58:04
down
58:04
how
58:04
you
58:05
feel.
58:05
Like,
58:05
really,
58:06
really
58:06
think
58:06
and
58:07
try
58:07
to
58:07
articulate
58:08
from
58:08
your
58:08
heart
58:08
and
58:09
your.
58:09
And
58:10
your
58:10
mind
58:10
and
58:10
your
58:11
body,
58:11
which.
58:12
Which
58:12
holds
58:12
so
58:13
much
58:13
of
58:13
our
58:13
emotion.
58:15
And
58:16
it's
58:16
really
58:17
hard
58:19
to
58:19
move
58:19
when
58:20
you
58:20
don't
58:20
know
58:20
how
58:21
you
58:21
feel
58:21
and
58:22
you
58:22
don't
58:23
feel
58:24
seen
58:24
or
58:24
heard.
58:25
So
58:26
be
58:26
your
58:26
own
58:26
voice
58:27
and.
58:28
And
58:29
again,
58:29
reach
58:29
out
58:30
to
58:30
people.
58:31
Reach
58:31
out
58:31
to
58:31
me.
58:31
Reach
58:32
out
58:32
to
58:32
Melissa
58:32
on
58:33
Instagram.
58:33
You
58:34
know,
58:34
like,
58:34
we
58:35
are
58:35
caring
58:36
women
58:37
who
58:37
will
58:37
listen.
58:38
I
58:38
hope
58:38
I
58:39
can
58:39
speak
58:39
for
58:39
you,
58:39
Melissa.
58:40
It's
58:41
really
58:41
important.
58:41
I
58:42
started
58:42
hosting
58:43
virtual
58:44
meetups
58:45
and
58:45
in
58:45
person
58:45
meetups
58:46
to
58:46
hike,
58:46
walk,
58:47
talk
58:47
about
58:47
grief.
58:48
I
58:48
was
58:48
the
58:49
one
58:49
that
58:49
grief,
58:49
to
58:50
me,
58:50
is
58:50
how
58:51
I
58:51
navigate
58:51
my
58:52
day.
58:52
I
58:52
chose
58:53
my
58:53
divorce,
58:54
but
58:54
I
58:54
also
58:54
lost
58:54
my
58:55
mom
58:55
and
58:55
sister.
58:55
And
58:56
when
58:56
you
58:56
look
58:56
at
58:56
it
58:56
as
58:56
a
58:57
total
58:57
picture,
58:57
it
58:57
is
58:58
loss
58:58
and
58:58
it
58:58
is
58:59
grief.
58:59
And
58:59
how
58:59
do
58:59
you
58:59
support
59:00
those
59:00
that
59:00
are
59:00
also
59:01
going
59:01
through
59:01
that?
59:02
I'm
59:02
here,
59:03
so
59:04
I
59:04
have
59:04
host
59:04
events
59:05
in
59:05
Los
59:05
Angeles.
59:06
I'm
59:06
currently
59:06
in
59:07
Arizona.
59:07
I
59:07
have
59:07
a
59:07
couple
59:08
of
59:08
things
59:08
here,
59:08
but
59:09
you're
59:09
not
59:09
alone.
59:10
Community
59:10
is
59:10
everything.
59:11
Monica
59:12
has
59:12
a
59:12
fantastic
59:13
newsletter
59:13
that
59:14
supports
59:14
the
59:14
midlife
59:15
pivot.
59:15
I
59:16
have
59:16
a
59:16
newsletter
59:17
as
59:17
well
59:17
that
59:17
I
59:17
talk
59:18
about
59:18
all
59:18
of
59:18
these
59:19
changes
59:19
and
59:19
navigating
59:20
new
59:20
ways.
59:20
There
59:20
are
59:21
resources
59:21
out
59:21
there
59:22
that
59:22
I
59:22
didn't
59:22
think
59:23
existed
59:24
for
59:24
our
59:24
parents.
59:25
And
59:26
just
59:26
how
59:26
no
59:26
one
59:26
talked
59:27
about
59:27
perimenopause,
59:28
menopause.
59:28
It
59:29
has
59:29
changed.
59:29
There's
59:29
so
59:30
much
59:30
out
59:30
here.
59:30
We
59:31
are
59:31
screaming
59:31
for
59:31
the
59:31
mountaintops.
59:32
I'm
59:32
not
59:32
saying
59:33
join
59:33
the
59:33
single
59:34
club,
59:34
but
59:34
if
59:34
you're
59:34
gonna
59:35
do
59:35
it,
59:35
I'm
59:35
here
59:36
for
59:36
you
59:37
and
59:37
so
59:37
is
59:37
Monica.
59:38
And
59:38
we're
59:38
just
59:39
here
59:39
to
59:39
talk
59:39
about
59:39
the
59:39
supporting
59:40
women
59:40
because
59:42
we
59:42
realize
59:42
that
59:43
we're
59:43
all
59:43
that
59:43
we've
59:43
got
59:44
and
59:45
community
59:45
is
59:46
truly
59:46
the
59:46
only
59:46
way
59:46
to
59:47
navigate
59:47
it.
59:47
I
59:48
would
59:48
never
59:48
be
59:49
a
59:49
proponent
59:50
of
59:50
threats,
59:51
but
59:51
if
59:52
you
59:52
have
59:52
not
59:52
yet
59:53
said
59:53
to
59:53
your
59:53
partner,
59:55
I
59:55
have
59:55
an
59:55
ultimatum
59:56
for
59:56
you.
59:57
I
59:57
am
59:58
going
59:58
to
59:58
leave
59:58
this
59:59
relationship.
1:00:00
If
1:00:00
we
1:00:00
can't
1:00:00
come
1:00:01
together,
1:00:02
I
1:00:02
would
1:00:02
do
1:00:02
that.
1:00:03
I
1:00:03
would
1:00:03
really
1:00:04
think
1:00:04
about
1:00:04
doing
1:00:04
that.
1:00:04
I
1:00:05
think
1:00:05
a
1:00:05
lot
1:00:05
of
1:00:05
people
1:00:05
are
1:00:05
afraid
1:00:06
to
1:00:06
do
1:00:06
that.
1:00:06
They're
1:00:06
afraid
1:00:07
to
1:00:07
go
1:00:07
to
1:00:07
therapy
1:00:08
because
1:00:08
they
1:00:08
think
1:00:08
it
1:00:08
will
1:00:09
end
1:00:09
the
1:00:09
relationship.
1:00:10
If
1:00:11
that's
1:00:11
the
1:00:11
case,
1:00:11
it
1:00:12
was
1:00:12
meant
1:00:12
to
1:00:12
end.
1:00:13
It
1:00:13
was
1:00:14
meant
1:00:14
to
1:00:14
end.
1:00:14
And
1:00:14
obviously
1:00:15
do
1:00:15
it
1:00:15
safely,
1:00:16
because
1:00:16
sometimes
1:00:16
women
1:00:17
are
1:00:17
afraid
1:00:18
of
1:00:18
retaliation.
1:00:19
I
1:00:19
would
1:00:20
look
1:00:20
at
1:00:20
your
1:00:20
picture.
1:00:21
Look
1:00:21
at
1:00:21
your
1:00:22
picture.
1:00:22
If
1:00:22
this
1:00:23
person
1:00:23
didn't
1:00:24
exist
1:00:24
today,
1:00:25
could
1:00:25
I
1:00:25
survive?
1:00:26
Could
1:00:26
I
1:00:26
navigate
1:00:27
if
1:00:28
I
1:00:28
was
1:00:28
to
1:00:28
say
1:00:28
this
1:00:29
to
1:00:29
my
1:00:29
partner,
1:00:29
what
1:00:30
would
1:00:30
he
1:00:30
do
1:00:30
in
1:00:30
retaliation?
1:00:31
So
1:00:32
make
1:00:32
sure
1:00:33
you
1:00:33
take
1:00:33
care
1:00:33
of
1:00:33
yourself.
1:00:34
And
1:00:35
even
1:00:35
so,
1:00:35
to
1:00:35
your
1:00:35
point,
1:00:36
if
1:00:36
you're
1:00:36
looking
1:00:36
at
1:00:37
that
1:00:37
picture
1:00:37
and
1:00:37
say
1:00:37
to
1:00:38
yourself,
1:00:38
would
1:00:38
I
1:00:39
be
1:00:39
happier?
1:00:39
And
1:00:40
if
1:00:40
the
1:00:40
answer
1:00:40
is
1:00:40
yes,
1:00:41
then
1:00:42
that
1:00:42
says
1:00:42
something
1:00:42
right
1:00:43
then
1:00:43
and
1:00:43
there.
1:00:43
You
1:00:44
know,
1:00:44
I
1:00:44
mean,
1:00:44
that.
1:00:44
That's.
1:00:45
That's
1:00:46
something.
1:00:46
I
1:00:46
think
1:00:46
you
1:00:46
have
1:00:47
to
1:00:47
take,
1:00:47
like,
1:00:47
an
1:00:47
inventory
1:00:48
of
1:00:48
your
1:00:48
life.
1:00:49
And
1:00:49
we
1:00:50
should
1:00:50
take
1:00:50
an
1:00:50
inventory
1:00:51
of
1:00:51
our
1:00:51
lives.
1:00:51
You
1:00:52
know,
1:00:52
we
1:00:52
should
1:00:52
do
1:00:52
that
1:00:52
frequently.
1:00:53
I
1:00:53
mean,
1:00:53
if
1:00:53
things
1:00:54
aren't
1:00:55
working,
1:00:55
there's
1:00:55
no
1:00:55
reason
1:00:55
why
1:00:56
not
1:00:56
to
1:00:56
change
1:00:56
things,
1:00:57
you
1:00:57
know,
1:00:57
or
1:00:57
try
1:00:57
to
1:00:58
work
1:00:58
towards
1:00:59
a
1:00:59
different
1:00:59
goal.
1:01:00
One
1:01:00
of
1:01:00
the
1:01:00
most
1:01:01
shocking
1:01:01
things
1:01:01
that
1:01:02
was
1:01:02
said
1:01:02
to
1:01:02
me
1:01:02
while
1:01:03
I
1:01:03
was
1:01:03
navigating
1:01:04
is
1:01:04
from
1:01:05
a
1:01:05
married
1:01:05
friend
1:01:05
that
1:01:06
has
1:01:06
two
1:01:06
kids
1:01:07
and
1:01:07
said,
1:01:07
oh,
1:01:07
my
1:01:08
gosh,
1:01:08
I
1:01:08
can't
1:01:08
believe
1:01:08
you
1:01:09
really
1:01:09
did
1:01:09
it.
1:01:10
Like,
1:01:12
couldn't
1:01:12
believe
1:01:12
that
1:01:13
I
1:01:13
actually
1:01:13
did,
1:01:13
and
1:01:13
how
1:01:14
quickly
1:01:14
it
1:01:14
went,
1:01:15
because
1:01:16
there
1:01:16
was
1:01:17
this
1:01:17
thought
1:01:17
in
1:01:17
mind,
1:01:17
like,
1:01:18
well,
1:01:18
you're
1:01:18
just
1:01:18
unhappy,
1:01:18
but
1:01:19
you'll
1:01:19
just
1:01:19
deal
1:01:20
with
1:01:20
it,
1:01:20
or
1:01:20
you'll
1:01:21
just
1:01:21
figure
1:01:21
it
1:01:21
out,
1:01:22
or
1:01:22
it's
1:01:22
like,
1:01:22
I
1:01:22
can't
1:01:22
believe
1:01:23
you
1:01:23
did
1:01:23
it.
1:01:23
And
1:01:23
I
1:01:24
think
1:01:24
that
1:01:25
was
1:01:25
my.
1:01:25
And
1:01:25
to
1:01:26
be
1:01:26
honest
1:01:26
with
1:01:26
you,
1:01:26
the
1:01:26
friendship
1:01:27
fractured
1:01:27
a
1:01:27
little
1:01:28
bit
1:01:28
after
1:01:28
that.
1:01:28
And
1:01:29
I
1:01:29
truly
1:01:29
believe
1:01:29
there's
1:01:30
sometimes
1:01:30
women
1:01:31
that
1:01:31
almost
1:01:31
want
1:01:32
you
1:01:32
unhappy
1:01:32
because
1:01:33
you
1:01:33
choosing
1:01:33
yourself
1:01:34
as
1:01:34
a
1:01:34
reflection
1:01:35
of
1:01:35
their
1:01:35
unhappiness
1:01:35
in
1:01:36
their
1:01:36
own
1:01:36
marriage.
1:01:37
And
1:01:37
she
1:01:37
could
1:01:37
not
1:01:37
see
1:01:38
that
1:01:38
anymore.
1:01:39
Yes.
1:01:40
And
1:01:40
you
1:01:41
were
1:01:41
brave
1:01:41
enough
1:01:41
to
1:01:41
take
1:01:41
the
1:01:42
step
1:01:42
that
1:01:42
she
1:01:42
probably
1:01:43
wants
1:01:43
to
1:01:43
take
1:01:44
herself,
1:01:44
you
1:01:44
know?
1:01:45
Absolutely.
1:01:46
I
1:01:46
want
1:01:46
to
1:01:46
say
1:01:46
to
1:01:47
women
1:01:47
who
1:01:48
feel
1:01:48
like
1:01:48
they're
1:01:49
too
1:01:49
old
1:01:50
to
1:01:52
take
1:01:53
on
1:01:53
the
1:01:53
world
1:01:53
alone
1:01:54
or
1:01:54
to
1:01:54
be
1:01:55
single
1:01:55
again
1:01:55
or
1:01:56
to
1:01:56
start
1:01:56
over.
1:01:57
I
1:01:57
think
1:01:58
of
1:01:58
midlife
1:01:59
as
1:01:59
the
1:01:59
ride
1:02:00
at
1:02:00
Disneyland,
1:02:01
and
1:02:01
there's
1:02:01
no
1:02:02
line.
1:02:02
Nobody
1:02:03
knows.
1:02:03
It's
1:02:04
a
1:02:04
good
1:02:04
ride.
1:02:04
But
1:02:05
once
1:02:05
you
1:02:05
get
1:02:05
in
1:02:06
and
1:02:06
you
1:02:06
strap
1:02:07
on
1:02:07
your
1:02:07
seatbelt
1:02:08
and
1:02:08
you
1:02:08
get
1:02:09
on
1:02:09
that
1:02:09
ride,
1:02:09
you
1:02:10
realize
1:02:10
this
1:02:10
is
1:02:11
the
1:02:11
best
1:02:11
ride
1:02:11
of
1:02:11
my
1:02:12
life.
1:02:13
Now
1:02:13
if
1:02:13
there's
1:02:13
a
1:02:13
person
1:02:14
next
1:02:14
to
1:02:14
you
1:02:14
throwing
1:02:15
up
1:02:15
and
1:02:15
it's
1:02:16
ending
1:02:16
up
1:02:16
in
1:02:16
your
1:02:16
face,
1:02:17
he's
1:02:18
ruining
1:02:18
the
1:02:19
ride.
1:02:19
He
1:02:19
is
1:02:20
really
1:02:20
ruining
1:02:20
the
1:02:20
ride
1:02:21
for
1:02:21
you.
1:02:21
So
1:02:23
either
1:02:24
get
1:02:24
on
1:02:24
this
1:02:24
ride
1:02:24
with
1:02:25
someone
1:02:25
that
1:02:25
you're
1:02:25
going
1:02:25
to
1:02:26
have
1:02:26
fun
1:02:26
with
1:02:26
and
1:02:26
throw
1:02:26
your
1:02:27
hands
1:02:27
up
1:02:27
in
1:02:27
the
1:02:27
air
1:02:28
or
1:02:28
get
1:02:28
on
1:02:28
that
1:02:28
ride
1:02:29
alone.
1:02:29
There
1:02:29
are
1:02:30
plenty
1:02:30
of
1:02:30
women
1:02:30
on
1:02:30
it.
1:02:31
Trust
1:02:31
me,
1:02:32
you'll
1:02:32
have
1:02:33
fun.
1:02:33
You'll
1:02:34
have
1:02:34
fun.
1:02:34
You
1:02:34
might
1:02:34
meet
1:02:35
other
1:02:35
friends
1:02:35
on
1:02:35
this
1:02:36
ride,
1:02:36
you
1:02:36
know,
1:02:37
like
1:02:37
find
1:02:37
other
1:02:38
girlfriends,
1:02:38
meet
1:02:38
new
1:02:39
girlfriends.
1:02:39
I
1:02:39
mean
1:02:40
the
1:02:40
rather
1:02:40
dick.
1:02:41
Yeah,
1:02:42
exactly.
1:02:43
There
1:02:43
could
1:02:43
be
1:02:44
some
1:02:44
flying
1:02:44
dick
1:02:45
that
1:02:45
you
1:02:45
just,
1:02:45
you,
1:02:46
you
1:02:46
grabbed
1:02:46
it,
1:02:46
you
1:02:46
got
1:02:47
it
1:02:47
here,
1:02:47
you
1:02:47
got
1:02:47
it
1:02:47
there.
1:02:47
I
1:02:48
mean
1:02:48
it
1:02:48
could
1:02:48
be
1:02:48
very
1:02:49
exciting.
1:02:49
All
1:02:50
about
1:02:50
it.
1:02:50
Bring
1:02:50
it
1:02:51
on.
1:02:51
Take
1:02:51
a
1:02:52
lover
1:02:52
in
1:02:52
Paris.
1:02:52
I
1:02:53
mean,
1:02:53
all
1:02:53
the
1:02:53
things
1:02:54
Melissa,
1:02:54
I
1:02:54
want
1:02:54
to
1:02:54
know.
1:02:55
Are
1:02:55
you
1:02:55
so
1:02:55
still
1:02:55
in
1:02:55
touch
1:02:56
with
1:02:56
the
1:02:56
80
1:02:56
year
1:02:56
old
1:02:56
woman
1:02:57
you
1:02:57
spent
1:02:57
your
1:02:57
birthday
1:02:58
with?
1:02:58
I
1:02:59
am
1:02:59
not.
1:02:59
She
1:03:00
didn't
1:03:00
respond
1:03:00
to
1:03:00
my
1:03:01
last
1:03:01
email
1:03:01
a
1:03:02
while
1:03:02
back,
1:03:02
so
1:03:03
I,
1:03:03
I
1:03:04
don't
1:03:04
know
1:03:04
if
1:03:04
she's
1:03:04
still
1:03:04
with
1:03:05
us,
1:03:05
but
1:03:06
let's
1:03:06
take
1:03:06
a
1:03:06
collective
1:03:07
moment
1:03:07
to
1:03:07
send
1:03:07
her
1:03:08
some
1:03:08
love
1:03:08
because
1:03:08
honestly,
1:03:09
that
1:03:09
day
1:03:10
was
1:03:10
one
1:03:10
of
1:03:10
the
1:03:10
best
1:03:10
days
1:03:11
ever.
1:03:12
Truly.
1:03:12
Oh,
1:03:13
how
1:03:13
fun.
1:03:14
It
1:03:14
sounds
1:03:14
amazing.
1:03:15
Wait,
1:03:15
are
1:03:15
you
1:03:16
dating
1:03:16
right
1:03:16
now
1:03:17
or
1:03:17
are
1:03:17
you
1:03:17
single
1:03:17
and
1:03:18
enjoying
1:03:18
it?
1:03:18
Like,
1:03:19
what's
1:03:19
your.
1:03:20
Oh,
1:03:20
I,
1:03:21
I'm
1:03:21
single
1:03:22
and
1:03:22
open
1:03:22
to
1:03:23
possibility,
1:03:24
but
1:03:25
I'm,
1:03:27
I'm
1:03:28
single.
1:03:28
Well,
1:03:29
I
1:03:29
will
1:03:29
say
1:03:29
this,
1:03:30
there's.
1:03:30
I'm
1:03:30
writing
1:03:30
a
1:03:31
book
1:03:31
about
1:03:31
this.
1:03:31
To
1:03:32
be,
1:03:32
to
1:03:32
be
1:03:32
honest,
1:03:33
the
1:03:33
year
1:03:35
when
1:03:36
I
1:03:36
chose
1:03:36
myself
1:03:37
and
1:03:37
this
1:03:37
was
1:03:37
before
1:03:38
divorce
1:03:38
was
1:03:38
final,
1:03:39
I
1:03:39
had
1:03:39
this
1:03:40
wonderful
1:03:41
year
1:03:41
of
1:03:42
sex
1:03:43
and
1:03:43
exploration
1:03:44
and
1:03:44
because
1:03:45
I
1:03:45
was
1:03:45
so
1:03:45
committed
1:03:46
in
1:03:46
a
1:03:46
relationship
1:03:47
for
1:03:47
10
1:03:47
years
1:03:47
and
1:03:47
then
1:03:48
you,
1:03:49
you
1:03:49
wake
1:03:49
up
1:03:49
and
1:03:49
you're
1:03:49
like,
1:03:50
wow,
1:03:50
there's
1:03:50
so
1:03:50
many
1:03:51
men
1:03:51
here.
1:03:51
And
1:03:51
I
1:03:51
had
1:03:52
a
1:03:52
lot
1:03:52
of
1:03:52
fun.
1:03:53
But
1:03:53
then
1:03:53
I,
1:03:54
I
1:03:54
find
1:03:54
at
1:03:54
the
1:03:55
end
1:03:55
of
1:03:55
that
1:03:56
year
1:03:56
of
1:03:56
chaos
1:03:57
of
1:03:57
situation
1:03:57
shifts
1:03:58
and
1:03:59
you
1:03:59
know,
1:04:00
but
1:04:01
on
1:04:01
the
1:04:01
counters
1:04:01
and
1:04:01
breaking
1:04:02
my
1:04:02
back
1:04:02
and
1:04:02
all
1:04:03
the
1:04:04
fine
1:04:04
ticks
1:04:05
that
1:04:05
I
1:04:06
just
1:04:07
wanted
1:04:07
to,
1:04:07
I
1:04:07
wanted
1:04:08
my
1:04:08
peace,
1:04:09
I
1:04:09
wanted
1:04:09
a
1:04:09
little,
1:04:10
I
1:04:10
wanted
1:04:10
my
1:04:11
love.
1:04:11
Like
1:04:11
I
1:04:11
wanted
1:04:11
support
1:04:12
into
1:04:12
myself
1:04:12
and
1:04:13
not
1:04:13
into
1:04:13
anybody
1:04:13
else.
1:04:14
So
1:04:14
right
1:04:14
now
1:04:15
I'm
1:04:15
just
1:04:15
happily
1:04:16
single.
1:04:16
But
1:04:17
if
1:04:17
there's
1:04:17
someone
1:04:17
that
1:04:17
amazing,
1:04:18
I
1:04:18
came,
1:04:19
came
1:04:19
up
1:04:20
a
1:04:20
wonderful
1:04:20
day,
1:04:21
I
1:04:21
might
1:04:21
jump
1:04:21
on
1:04:21
it.
1:04:22
But
1:04:22
at
1:04:22
this
1:04:22
moment
1:04:22
I
1:04:22
am
1:04:23
happily
1:04:23
celibate.
1:04:25
Oh
1:04:26
my
1:04:26
God,
1:04:26
I
1:04:26
love
1:04:27
it,
1:04:27
I
1:04:27
love
1:04:27
it.
1:04:28
And
1:04:28
good
1:04:28
for
1:04:28
you
1:04:28
for
1:04:29
getting
1:04:29
out
1:04:30
there
1:04:30
and
1:04:30
like,
1:04:30
you
1:04:31
know,
1:04:31
living
1:04:31
life
1:04:32
and
1:04:32
like
1:04:32
experiencing
1:04:33
like
1:04:33
what
1:04:33
you
1:04:34
wanted
1:04:34
to.
1:04:35
Right?
1:04:35
Yeah.
1:04:36
And
1:04:37
I
1:04:37
got
1:04:37
married
1:04:38
at
1:04:38
31,
1:04:40
so
1:04:40
I
1:04:40
wasn't
1:04:41
a
1:04:41
Little
1:04:41
baby
1:04:42
virgin.
1:04:42
But
1:04:43
I
1:04:43
had
1:04:43
my
1:04:43
fun.
1:04:44
But
1:04:44
I
1:04:44
think
1:04:44
there's
1:04:45
something
1:04:45
about
1:04:46
loving
1:04:46
your
1:04:46
body
1:04:46
and
1:04:47
to
1:04:47
have
1:04:47
the
1:04:48
confidence
1:04:48
I
1:04:48
have
1:04:49
now.
1:04:49
What
1:04:50
if
1:04:50
I
1:04:50
had
1:04:50
it
1:04:50
back
1:04:51
then?
1:04:51
Oh,
1:04:52
my
1:04:52
gosh.
1:04:53
Because
1:04:53
there's
1:04:53
something
1:04:53
about
1:04:54
owning
1:04:54
your
1:04:54
sexuality,
1:04:55
owning
1:04:55
your
1:04:55
body,
1:04:56
owning
1:04:56
your
1:04:56
curves,
1:04:56
loving
1:04:57
yourself
1:04:57
that
1:04:57
I
1:04:58
didn't
1:04:58
have.
1:04:58
And
1:04:58
I
1:04:58
found
1:04:59
sex
1:04:59
to
1:04:59
be
1:04:59
a
1:04:59
lot
1:05:00
more
1:05:00
fun
1:05:01
during
1:05:01
my,
1:05:02
my
1:05:02
crazy
1:05:03
years.
1:05:03
That,
1:05:04
that
1:05:04
is
1:05:04
so
1:05:04
interesting.
1:05:05
You
1:05:05
know,
1:05:05
I'm
1:05:05
finding
1:05:06
that
1:05:06
more
1:05:06
and
1:05:06
more
1:05:06
now
1:05:07
that
1:05:07
I'm
1:05:07
talking
1:05:07
to
1:05:07
some
1:05:07
friends
1:05:08
who
1:05:08
have,
1:05:08
you
1:05:09
know,
1:05:09
either
1:05:10
gone
1:05:10
through
1:05:10
a
1:05:10
divorce
1:05:11
or
1:05:11
changed
1:05:11
relationships,
1:05:12
and
1:05:12
they're
1:05:12
really
1:05:12
out
1:05:13
there
1:05:14
enjoying
1:05:14
themselves
1:05:15
sexually.
1:05:15
They
1:05:16
say
1:05:16
that
1:05:16
they're
1:05:16
so
1:05:17
much
1:05:17
more
1:05:17
confident
1:05:17
now
1:05:18
than
1:05:18
they
1:05:18
ever
1:05:19
were
1:05:19
before,
1:05:19
in
1:05:20
their
1:05:20
20s
1:05:20
and
1:05:21
even
1:05:21
like
1:05:21
in
1:05:21
their
1:05:22
30s,
1:05:22
which
1:05:22
I
1:05:23
find
1:05:24
so
1:05:24
cool.
1:05:25
And
1:05:25
why
1:05:25
shouldn't
1:05:25
they
1:05:26
be?
1:05:26
Right?
1:05:27
I
1:05:27
agree.
1:05:27
I
1:05:27
mean,
1:05:27
look
1:05:28
at
1:05:28
us.
1:05:28
We're
1:05:28
all
1:05:28
really
1:05:29
amazing,
1:05:29
beautiful
1:05:29
women.
1:05:30
So
1:05:30
that's
1:05:31
number
1:05:31
one.
1:05:31
So
1:05:31
if
1:05:31
you're
1:05:31
gonna
1:05:32
get
1:05:32
out
1:05:32
there,
1:05:32
like,
1:05:32
they're
1:05:33
good.
1:05:33
But
1:05:33
I
1:05:33
also
1:05:34
will
1:05:34
say,
1:05:34
I
1:05:35
know
1:05:35
this
1:05:35
might
1:05:35
be
1:05:35
another
1:05:36
podcast,
1:05:36
but
1:05:37
the
1:05:37
younger
1:05:38
guys,
1:05:38
they
1:05:38
have
1:05:39
a
1:05:39
confidence
1:05:39
that
1:05:40
I
1:05:40
don't
1:05:40
think
1:05:40
I've
1:05:41
seen
1:05:41
when
1:05:41
I
1:05:41
was
1:05:42
at,
1:05:42
when
1:05:42
I
1:05:42
was
1:05:42
26.
1:05:43
There's
1:05:43
no
1:05:43
way
1:05:43
that
1:05:44
I
1:05:44
thought
1:05:44
that
1:05:44
of
1:05:44
a
1:05:44
26
1:05:45
year
1:05:45
old.
1:05:45
And
1:05:45
these
1:05:45
26
1:05:46
year
1:05:46
olds
1:05:46
are
1:05:47
like
1:05:47
hunting
1:05:48
us
1:05:49
in
1:05:49
a
1:05:49
way
1:05:49
that
1:05:50
I've
1:05:50
never
1:05:50
seen
1:05:50
before.
1:05:51
And
1:05:51
it's
1:05:52
quite,
1:05:52
it's
1:05:52
quite
1:05:52
amazing.
1:05:53
And
1:05:53
that
1:05:54
there's
1:05:54
not
1:05:54
like,
1:05:55
it's
1:05:55
not
1:05:55
the
1:05:55
expectation
1:05:56
of
1:05:56
relationship.
1:05:56
I
1:05:57
mean,
1:05:57
how
1:05:57
much
1:05:57
conversation
1:05:58
can
1:05:58
you
1:05:58
really
1:05:58
have?
1:05:59
But
1:05:59
I'm
1:06:00
definitely
1:06:00
in
1:06:01
the
1:06:01
past
1:06:01
where
1:06:01
I
1:06:01
would
1:06:01
have
1:06:02
frowned
1:06:02
upon
1:06:02
it.
1:06:03
I
1:06:03
have
1:06:03
welcomed
1:06:03
it
1:06:04
with
1:06:04
open
1:06:04
legs.
1:06:09
Oh,
1:06:09
my
1:06:09
God,
1:06:10
I
1:06:10
love
1:06:10
that.
1:06:11
Yes,
1:06:12
I'm
1:06:12
awful.
1:06:12
You
1:06:13
guys
1:06:13
are
1:06:13
like,
1:06:13
bring
1:06:14
me
1:06:14
all
1:06:14
the
1:06:14
cougar.
1:06:15
Like
1:06:15
it's
1:06:15
a
1:06:16
thing.
1:06:16
Like,
1:06:16
they're
1:06:16
like,
1:06:17
give
1:06:17
me
1:06:18
some
1:06:18
cougar.
1:06:18
Right?
1:06:18
I
1:06:19
know.
1:06:19
But
1:06:19
yeah,
1:06:20
it's
1:06:20
crazy
1:06:20
because
1:06:21
I
1:06:21
normally
1:06:22
was
1:06:22
never
1:06:22
looking
1:06:23
at
1:06:23
that.
1:06:23
I
1:06:24
think,
1:06:24
you
1:06:24
know,
1:06:24
it's
1:06:25
interesting
1:06:25
because
1:06:26
the
1:06:26
news
1:06:26
is
1:06:26
always
1:06:27
like,
1:06:27
cougars.
1:06:27
And
1:06:28
these
1:06:28
women
1:06:28
are
1:06:28
choosing
1:06:29
younger
1:06:29
men.
1:06:30
These
1:06:30
men
1:06:31
are
1:06:31
choosing
1:06:32
older
1:06:32
women
1:06:33
for
1:06:33
very
1:06:34
specific
1:06:34
reasons.
1:06:35
To
1:06:35
your
1:06:36
point,
1:06:36
women
1:06:36
know
1:06:37
how
1:06:37
to
1:06:37
ask
1:06:38
for
1:06:38
what
1:06:38
they
1:06:38
want
1:06:38
now
1:06:39
in
1:06:39
the
1:06:39
bedroom.
1:06:40
And
1:06:40
that's
1:06:40
why
1:06:41
when
1:06:41
people
1:06:41
talk
1:06:41
about
1:06:43
our
1:06:43
libido
1:06:44
plummeting
1:06:44
after
1:06:45
a
1:06:45
certain
1:06:45
age,
1:06:46
you
1:06:47
know,
1:06:47
there
1:06:47
are
1:06:47
some
1:06:47
shifts,
1:06:48
but
1:06:48
women
1:06:49
actually
1:06:49
can
1:06:49
have
1:06:49
so
1:06:50
much
1:06:50
better
1:06:50
sex
1:06:50
and
1:06:51
better
1:06:51
orgasms
1:06:52
after
1:06:52
40
1:06:52
because
1:06:53
of
1:06:53
the
1:06:53
confidence
1:06:54
that
1:06:54
you
1:06:54
have
1:06:54
about
1:06:54
your
1:06:55
body.
1:06:56
And
1:06:56
again,
1:06:57
asking
1:06:57
for
1:06:57
what
1:06:58
you
1:06:58
want
1:06:58
and
1:06:59
need.
1:06:59
And
1:06:59
I
1:06:59
think
1:06:59
young
1:07:00
men
1:07:00
are
1:07:00
like,
1:07:00
yes,
1:07:01
give
1:07:01
me
1:07:02
directions,
1:07:03
tell
1:07:03
me
1:07:04
how
1:07:04
to
1:07:04
do
1:07:04
this.
1:07:05
And
1:07:06
women,
1:07:06
you
1:07:07
know,
1:07:07
after
1:07:07
a
1:07:07
certain
1:07:07
age
1:07:08
or
1:07:08
of
1:07:08
a
1:07:08
certain
1:07:08
age
1:07:09
are
1:07:09
really
1:07:09
comfortable
1:07:10
and
1:07:10
it's
1:07:11
refreshing
1:07:11
for
1:07:12
them.
1:07:12
They,
1:07:13
they're
1:07:13
choosing
1:07:14
women
1:07:15
more
1:07:15
than
1:07:15
women
1:07:16
are
1:07:16
choosing
1:07:16
them.
1:07:17
Yeah.
1:07:17
And
1:07:17
if
1:07:18
you're
1:07:18
on
1:07:18
HRTs
1:07:19
and
1:07:19
hormone
1:07:19
replacement,
1:07:21
that
1:07:21
even
1:07:21
makes
1:07:21
it
1:07:22
better
1:07:22
because
1:07:23
it's
1:07:23
like
1:07:23
you're
1:07:23
getting,
1:07:24
you
1:07:24
know,
1:07:24
your
1:07:25
hormones
1:07:25
back
1:07:25
and
1:07:26
then
1:07:26
like
1:07:26
the
1:07:26
libidos
1:07:27
match
1:07:27
up,
1:07:28
you
1:07:28
know,
1:07:28
with
1:07:28
like
1:07:28
a
1:07:28
guy
1:07:29
that's
1:07:29
in
1:07:29
his
1:07:29
20s.
1:07:30
I
1:07:30
feel
1:07:30
like
1:07:30
that's
1:07:31
another
1:07:31
thing
1:07:31
too
1:07:31
actually,
1:07:32
now
1:07:32
that
1:07:32
I'm
1:07:32
thinking
1:07:33
about
1:07:33
it.
1:07:33
Talking
1:07:34
to
1:07:34
some
1:07:34
married
1:07:35
friends
1:07:35
is
1:07:35
like
1:07:35
if
1:07:36
their
1:07:36
husbands,
1:07:36
let's
1:07:36
say,
1:07:36
are
1:07:37
a
1:07:37
little
1:07:37
bit
1:07:37
older,
1:07:38
maybe
1:07:38
they're
1:07:38
in
1:07:38
their
1:07:39
50s,
1:07:39
60s,
1:07:40
whatever
1:07:40
it
1:07:41
is,
1:07:41
they're
1:07:42
saying
1:07:42
that
1:07:42
their
1:07:42
husbands,
1:07:43
you
1:07:43
know,
1:07:43
are
1:07:43
losing
1:07:44
their
1:07:44
libido
1:07:45
and
1:07:45
they're
1:07:45
like
1:07:46
the
1:07:46
ones
1:07:46
that
1:07:46
really
1:07:46
want
1:07:47
to
1:07:47
have
1:07:47
sex
1:07:48
and
1:07:48
like
1:07:48
the
1:07:48
libidos
1:07:49
don't
1:07:49
match
1:07:49
anymore.
1:07:50
So
1:07:50
I
1:07:51
totally
1:07:51
get
1:07:51
like,
1:07:52
you
1:07:52
know,
1:07:53
dating
1:07:53
a
1:07:53
younger
1:07:53
guy
1:07:54
or
1:07:54
having
1:07:54
sex
1:07:55
with
1:07:55
a
1:07:55
younger
1:07:55
guy.
1:07:55
Because
1:07:56
that,
1:07:56
that
1:07:57
is
1:07:57
an
1:07:57
issue
1:07:57
too
1:07:58
as
1:07:58
you
1:07:58
get
1:07:58
older
1:07:58
in
1:07:59
marriage
1:07:59
is
1:07:59
like
1:08:00
sometimes
1:08:00
those
1:08:01
libidos
1:08:01
don't
1:08:01
match
1:08:02
and
1:08:02
oftentimes
1:08:03
it's
1:08:03
the
1:08:03
man's
1:08:03
libido
1:08:04
that's
1:08:04
gone
1:08:04
down,
1:08:05
contrary
1:08:05
to
1:08:05
what
1:08:06
we
1:08:06
hear,
1:08:06
you
1:08:06
know.
1:08:07
Yeah,
1:08:07
wrinkle
1:08:08
dicks
1:08:08
are
1:08:08
not
1:08:08
great
1:08:08
for
1:08:09
many
1:08:09
things
1:08:09
except
1:08:10
for
1:08:10
paying
1:08:11
my
1:08:11
dinners
1:08:11
and
1:08:12
my
1:08:12
vacations.
1:08:12
But
1:08:13
the
1:08:13
younger
1:08:13
guys,
1:08:14
you
1:08:14
know,
1:08:14
they're
1:08:15
quite
1:08:15
a
1:08:15
snap.
1:08:17
Total
1:08:18
snack.
1:08:21
Oh
1:08:21
my
1:08:22
God,
1:08:22
I'm
1:08:22
dying.
1:08:22
That
1:08:23
is
1:08:23
so
1:08:23
true.
1:08:25
Okay,
1:08:26
ladies,
1:08:26
so
1:08:27
what
1:08:27
advice
1:08:28
would
1:08:28
you
1:08:28
give
1:08:29
your
1:08:29
25
1:08:29
year
1:08:30
old
1:08:30
selves?
1:08:31
My
1:08:32
advice
1:08:32
to
1:08:32
my
1:08:32
25
1:08:33
year
1:08:33
old
1:08:33
self
1:08:34
is
1:08:35
say
1:08:36
whatever
1:08:36
is
1:08:37
on
1:08:37
your
1:08:37
mind,
1:08:39
do
1:08:39
whatever
1:08:40
you
1:08:40
want.
1:08:42
Um,
1:08:44
remember
1:08:44
that
1:08:45
in
1:08:46
20
1:08:46
years
1:08:46
you're
1:08:47
going
1:08:47
to
1:08:47
have
1:08:47
a
1:08:47
huge
1:08:47
fuck
1:08:48
it
1:08:48
bucket.
1:08:48
Like
1:08:49
have
1:08:49
it
1:08:49
now.
1:08:50
You
1:08:51
know,
1:08:51
have
1:08:51
the
1:08:52
confidence.
1:08:52
And
1:08:52
honestly,
1:08:53
that's
1:08:53
something
1:08:54
that
1:08:54
I
1:08:54
tell
1:08:54
younger
1:08:55
women
1:08:55
when
1:08:55
I
1:08:55
talk
1:08:55
to
1:08:56
them
1:08:56
instead
1:08:57
of
1:08:57
talking
1:08:57
about
1:08:57
how,
1:08:57
oh,
1:08:58
when
1:08:58
you're
1:08:58
40,
1:08:58
you're
1:08:59
so
1:08:59
confident
1:09:00
and
1:09:00
you
1:09:01
don't
1:09:01
care
1:09:01
what
1:09:01
other
1:09:01
people
1:09:02
think
1:09:02
and
1:09:03
you
1:09:03
try
1:09:03
new
1:09:03
things
1:09:04
and
1:09:04
you're
1:09:04
less
1:09:04
risk
1:09:05
averse.
1:09:06
Like
1:09:06
we
1:09:06
need
1:09:06
to
1:09:06
be
1:09:06
teaching
1:09:07
women
1:09:07
in
1:09:07
their
1:09:08
20s
1:09:09
to
1:09:09
harness
1:09:09
that
1:09:10
power
1:09:10
so
1:09:10
that
1:09:11
they
1:09:11
can
1:09:11
move
1:09:12
in
1:09:12
the
1:09:12
workplace
1:09:13
and
1:09:13
politics
1:09:14
and
1:09:14
just
1:09:14
have
1:09:15
better
1:09:15
lives
1:09:15
and
1:09:16
treat
1:09:16
other
1:09:16
women
1:09:16
better.
1:09:17
So
1:09:18
it
1:09:18
would
1:09:18
be,
1:09:19
Even
1:09:19
though
1:09:19
my
1:09:19
25
1:09:20
year
1:09:20
old
1:09:20
would
1:09:21
not
1:09:21
necessarily
1:09:21
know
1:09:21
what
1:09:22
this
1:09:22
means,
1:09:22
act
1:09:23
like
1:09:23
you're
1:09:23
40,
1:09:24
act
1:09:24
like
1:09:25
you're
1:09:25
50.
1:09:26
Yeah,
1:09:26
like
1:09:27
with
1:09:27
that
1:09:27
confidence
1:09:28
and
1:09:28
like.
1:09:28
That
1:09:28
self
1:09:29
assurance,
1:09:29
it's
1:09:29
already
1:09:30
there.
1:09:30
It's
1:09:31
over
1:09:31
there.
1:09:33
Don't
1:09:34
wait
1:09:34
20
1:09:34
years
1:09:35
to
1:09:35
tap
1:09:35
into
1:09:36
those
1:09:36
superpowers.
1:09:37
Why
1:09:38
do
1:09:38
we
1:09:38
do
1:09:38
that?
1:09:38
We
1:09:38
let
1:09:39
the
1:09:39
time
1:09:39
go,
1:09:39
we
1:09:39
let
1:09:40
the
1:09:40
Time
1:09:40
pass
1:09:40
and
1:09:40
we've
1:09:41
like,
1:09:42
lost.
1:09:42
So
1:09:42
no,
1:09:43
I
1:09:43
don't
1:09:43
want
1:09:43
to
1:09:43
say
1:09:43
we've
1:09:43
lost
1:09:44
the
1:09:44
time,
1:09:44
because
1:09:44
we
1:09:44
haven't
1:09:44
lost
1:09:45
the
1:09:45
time.
1:09:45
But
1:09:45
it's
1:09:45
like
1:09:46
we
1:09:47
could
1:09:47
have
1:09:47
been
1:09:47
doing
1:09:47
this
1:09:47
a
1:09:48
long
1:09:48
time
1:09:48
ago.
1:09:48
You
1:09:49
know,
1:09:49
it's
1:09:49
like
1:09:49
we
1:09:49
could
1:09:50
have
1:09:50
been
1:09:50
so
1:09:50
much
1:09:50
more
1:09:51
assured
1:09:52
and,
1:09:53
you
1:09:53
know,
1:09:53
not
1:09:53
really
1:09:53
giving
1:09:54
a
1:09:54
shit
1:09:54
what
1:09:54
everybody
1:09:55
else
1:09:56
was
1:09:56
thinking.
1:09:57
Right.
1:09:57
I
1:09:58
think
1:09:58
the
1:09:58
key
1:09:58
is,
1:09:59
and
1:09:59
younger
1:09:59
people
1:10:00
are
1:10:00
onto
1:10:00
this.
1:10:01
I
1:10:01
mean,
1:10:01
I
1:10:01
grew
1:10:02
up
1:10:02
caring
1:10:02
so
1:10:03
much
1:10:03
about
1:10:04
how
1:10:04
men
1:10:05
perceived
1:10:05
me,
1:10:06
whether
1:10:07
my
1:10:07
looks
1:10:07
or
1:10:08
how
1:10:08
I
1:10:08
behaved.
1:10:08
And
1:10:09
that's
1:10:09
something
1:10:09
I
1:10:09
learned
1:10:09
from
1:10:10
my
1:10:10
dad.
1:10:10
And
1:10:11
he's
1:10:11
a
1:10:11
different
1:10:11
generation.
1:10:12
And
1:10:12
I'm
1:10:13
certainly
1:10:13
not
1:10:13
teaching
1:10:14
my
1:10:14
daughter
1:10:14
this,
1:10:14
nor
1:10:14
is
1:10:15
my
1:10:15
husband.
1:10:16
And
1:10:16
I
1:10:17
think
1:10:17
we're
1:10:17
going
1:10:17
to
1:10:17
see
1:10:18
a
1:10:18
profound
1:10:18
change
1:10:18
in
1:10:19
this
1:10:19
generation.
1:10:19
We
1:10:20
already
1:10:20
are
1:10:21
in
1:10:21
terms
1:10:21
of
1:10:22
feeling
1:10:22
more
1:10:22
confident,
1:10:23
asking
1:10:23
for
1:10:23
what
1:10:23
they
1:10:23
want.
1:10:24
I
1:10:24
mean,
1:10:24
people
1:10:24
say
1:10:24
that
1:10:24
Gen
1:10:25
Zers
1:10:26
get
1:10:26
on
1:10:26
a
1:10:26
job
1:10:27
and
1:10:27
after
1:10:27
a
1:10:27
month
1:10:27
they're
1:10:28
like,
1:10:28
I'd
1:10:28
like
1:10:28
to
1:10:28
run
1:10:28
this
1:10:29
company.
1:10:29
And
1:10:30
you
1:10:30
could
1:10:30
say,
1:10:30
that's
1:10:31
terrible,
1:10:31
but
1:10:31
I
1:10:32
prefer
1:10:32
that
1:10:33
to,
1:10:33
oh,
1:10:33
my
1:10:34
God,
1:10:34
do
1:10:34
you
1:10:34
think
1:10:34
I
1:10:34
could
1:10:35
get
1:10:35
a
1:10:35
promotion
1:10:35
in
1:10:35
10
1:10:36
years?
1:10:36
How
1:10:36
do
1:10:37
I
1:10:37
climb
1:10:37
my
1:10:37
way
1:10:37
up
1:10:37
a
1:10:38
ladder?
1:10:38
I
1:10:38
like
1:10:39
where
1:10:39
things
1:10:39
are
1:10:39
going
1:10:41
well.
1:10:41
Some
1:10:41
gent
1:10:42
years
1:10:42
I
1:10:42
want
1:10:42
to
1:10:43
definitely
1:10:43
choke
1:10:44
because
1:10:44
look,
1:10:45
no
1:10:45
bigger
1:10:46
place.
1:10:46
But
1:10:46
this
1:10:46
is
1:10:47
also
1:10:47
the
1:10:47
millennial
1:10:47
in
1:10:48
me
1:10:48
saying,
1:10:48
I've
1:10:49
paid
1:10:49
my
1:10:49
dues,
1:10:50
I've
1:10:50
worked
1:10:50
hard,
1:10:51
all
1:10:51
of
1:10:51
those
1:10:51
things
1:10:52
that
1:10:52
carry.
1:10:52
But
1:10:52
if
1:10:53
I
1:10:53
was,
1:10:53
I
1:10:53
mean,
1:10:53
25
1:10:54
again,
1:10:54
I
1:10:54
was
1:10:55
having
1:10:55
a
1:10:55
blast
1:10:55
at
1:10:55
25,
1:10:56
I'm
1:10:56
kind
1:10:57
of
1:10:57
feel
1:10:57
like
1:10:57
I'm
1:10:57
25
1:10:58
again.
1:10:58
So
1:11:00
don't
1:11:00
fall
1:11:00
in
1:11:00
love
1:11:00
with
1:11:01
potential.
1:11:02
I
1:11:02
will
1:11:02
say
1:11:03
that.
1:11:03
And
1:11:03
don't
1:11:03
be
1:11:04
so
1:11:04
tied
1:11:04
to
1:11:05
this
1:11:06
list.
1:11:06
I
1:11:06
remember
1:11:07
that
1:11:07
I
1:11:07
wrote
1:11:08
this
1:11:08
list
1:11:08
of
1:11:08
a
1:11:08
hundred
1:11:09
qualities
1:11:09
that
1:11:09
I
1:11:10
needed
1:11:10
in
1:11:10
a
1:11:10
partner.
1:11:12
I
1:11:12
needed
1:11:13
those
1:11:13
qualities
1:11:13
for
1:11:14
myself.
1:11:14
So
1:11:15
make
1:11:15
sure
1:11:15
you
1:11:15
are
1:11:15
what
1:11:15
you
1:11:16
want
1:11:16
to
1:11:16
receive.
1:11:17
Good
1:11:18
point,
1:11:18
good
1:11:18
point.
1:11:18
I
1:11:19
always
1:11:19
say
1:11:19
to
1:11:19
fuck
1:11:20
the
1:11:20
timelines.
1:11:20
Like,
1:11:21
no
1:11:21
timelines,
1:11:22
right?
1:11:23
Especially
1:11:23
as
1:11:23
we
1:11:23
know
1:11:24
now,
1:11:24
like,
1:11:25
fuck
1:11:25
the
1:11:25
timelines.
1:11:26
Then
1:11:26
I'm
1:11:26
also.
1:11:26
I'm
1:11:27
different.
1:11:27
I
1:11:27
didn't
1:11:28
ever
1:11:28
want
1:11:28
children.
1:11:29
I've
1:11:29
known
1:11:30
that
1:11:30
for
1:11:30
a
1:11:30
very
1:11:30
long
1:11:31
time.
1:11:31
So
1:11:31
I
1:11:31
operated
1:11:32
a
1:11:32
little
1:11:32
bit
1:11:32
differently.
1:11:33
It
1:11:33
was
1:11:33
never
1:11:33
for
1:11:33
me
1:11:34
to
1:11:34
get
1:11:34
married
1:11:34
to
1:11:34
have
1:11:35
kids.
1:11:35
It's
1:11:35
for
1:11:36
me
1:11:36
to
1:11:36
be
1:11:36
married
1:11:36
and
1:11:37
have
1:11:37
a
1:11:37
partner
1:11:37
and
1:11:37
have
1:11:37
a
1:11:38
full
1:11:38
life
1:11:39
without
1:11:39
kids.
1:11:40
So
1:11:40
it's
1:11:41
a
1:11:41
little
1:11:41
bit
1:11:41
different.
1:11:41
So
1:11:42
I
1:11:42
wasn't
1:11:42
ever
1:11:42
rushing.
1:11:43
But
1:11:43
I
1:11:44
will
1:11:44
say
1:11:44
how
1:11:45
I
1:11:45
feel.
1:11:45
It
1:11:45
wasn't
1:11:46
25
1:11:46
where
1:11:46
I
1:11:46
was
1:11:47
feeling
1:11:47
that
1:11:47
fear.
1:11:48
It
1:11:48
was
1:11:48
like
1:11:48
when
1:11:48
I
1:11:48
turned
1:11:49
30
1:11:49
was
1:11:50
like,
1:11:50
well,
1:11:50
are
1:11:50
you
1:11:51
still
1:11:51
going
1:11:51
to
1:11:51
be
1:11:51
going
1:11:51
out
1:11:52
and
1:11:52
doing
1:11:52
the
1:11:52
same
1:11:53
Things.
1:11:53
And
1:11:53
that's
1:11:54
where
1:11:54
I
1:11:54
felt
1:11:54
like
1:11:54
I
1:11:55
was
1:11:55
compromised
1:11:56
my
1:11:56
timeline
1:11:57
because
1:11:57
I've
1:11:58
all
1:11:58
said
1:11:58
it
1:11:58
felt
1:11:58
a
1:11:58
little
1:11:59
bit
1:11:59
more
1:11:59
rushed
1:12:00
and
1:12:00
I
1:12:00
didn't
1:12:00
look
1:12:01
at
1:12:01
things
1:12:01
from,
1:12:02
from
1:12:02
I
1:12:02
had
1:12:03
rose
1:12:03
colored
1:12:03
glasses.
1:12:04
I
1:12:05
mean,
1:12:06
there
1:12:07
were
1:12:07
a
1:12:07
lot
1:12:07
of
1:12:07
red
1:12:07
flags
1:12:08
with
1:12:08
my
1:12:08
partner
1:12:08
that
1:12:08
I
1:12:09
chose
1:12:09
to
1:12:09
ignore,
1:12:10
including
1:12:10
the
1:12:10
fact
1:12:10
that
1:12:11
he
1:12:11
was
1:12:11
married
1:12:11
twice
1:12:11
before
1:12:12
and
1:12:12
was
1:12:12
10
1:12:12
years
1:12:13
older
1:12:13
than
1:12:13
me.
1:12:13
I
1:12:14
thought
1:12:14
at
1:12:14
the
1:12:14
times
1:12:14
it
1:12:15
seems
1:12:15
to
1:12:15
be,
1:12:15
oh,
1:12:16
but
1:12:16
no,
1:12:16
it's
1:12:16
okay.
1:12:16
But
1:12:17
it
1:12:17
was
1:12:17
a
1:12:17
bad.
1:12:17
Like
1:12:18
I
1:12:18
made
1:12:18
so
1:12:18
many
1:12:18
concessions.
1:12:19
That
1:12:20
is
1:12:20
none
1:12:20
of
1:12:20
his
1:12:20
fault.
1:12:21
This
1:12:21
is
1:12:21
all
1:12:22
on
1:12:22
me.
1:12:23
So
1:12:23
he
1:12:24
showed
1:12:24
up
1:12:24
as
1:12:24
who
1:12:25
he
1:12:25
was
1:12:25
and
1:12:25
I
1:12:25
chose
1:12:25
to
1:12:26
see
1:12:26
something
1:12:26
differently
1:12:27
and
1:12:27
make
1:12:28
it
1:12:28
something
1:12:28
else.
1:12:28
So
1:12:29
it's
1:12:29
just
1:12:29
realizing
1:12:30
what
1:12:30
I.
1:12:31
I
1:12:31
mean,
1:12:32
I'm
1:12:32
saying
1:12:32
this
1:12:32
now,
1:12:32
hindsight,
1:12:33
but
1:12:34
at
1:12:34
25,
1:12:35
enjoy
1:12:35
yourself.
1:12:37
Enjoy
1:12:37
yourself
1:12:38
and
1:12:39
be
1:12:39
the
1:12:40
Samantha
1:12:40
Jones.
1:12:41
Have
1:12:41
the
1:12:41
fun.
1:12:42
Don't
1:12:42
be
1:12:42
the
1:12:43
needy
1:12:43
Carrie.
1:12:44
That's
1:12:44
so
1:12:44
needy.
1:12:45
No,
1:12:47
completely.
1:12:47
So
1:12:48
what
1:12:48
is
1:12:48
the
1:12:48
biggest
1:12:49
lesson
1:12:49
that
1:12:49
you
1:12:49
guys
1:12:50
have
1:12:50
learned
1:12:50
in
1:12:51
midlife?
1:12:52
I
1:12:52
will
1:12:52
say
1:12:52
that
1:12:53
things
1:12:53
don't
1:12:53
have
1:12:53
to
1:12:53
look
1:12:55
like
1:12:55
I
1:12:55
links
1:12:56
don't
1:12:56
look
1:12:56
like
1:12:57
they
1:12:57
the
1:12:57
way
1:12:57
I
1:12:57
thought
1:12:57
they
1:12:58
would
1:12:58
be.
1:12:58
And
1:12:58
that's
1:12:58
okay.
1:13:00
I'm
1:13:00
redefining
1:13:01
what
1:13:01
home
1:13:02
looks
1:13:02
for
1:13:02
me,
1:13:03
what
1:13:03
work
1:13:04
looks
1:13:04
for
1:13:04
me.
1:13:05
There's
1:13:05
so
1:13:05
many
1:13:05
more
1:13:05
possibilities.
1:13:07
The
1:13:08
days
1:13:08
of
1:13:08
thinking
1:13:09
that
1:13:09
I
1:13:09
would
1:13:10
have
1:13:10
some
1:13:10
corporate
1:13:10
job
1:13:11
or
1:13:11
work
1:13:12
at
1:13:12
a
1:13:12
news
1:13:12
station
1:13:13
or
1:13:13
work
1:13:13
at
1:13:14
forever
1:13:14
and
1:13:14
ever.
1:13:15
Those
1:13:15
days
1:13:15
are.
1:13:15
Those
1:13:16
days
1:13:16
are
1:13:16
over.
1:13:17
You
1:13:17
can
1:13:17
create
1:13:17
whatever
1:13:18
you
1:13:18
want
1:13:18
to
1:13:18
create
1:13:18
at
1:13:19
this
1:13:19
age
1:13:20
and
1:13:20
that's
1:13:20
okay.
1:13:21
It's
1:13:22
no
1:13:22
longer
1:13:22
falling
1:13:22
into
1:13:23
this.
1:13:24
The
1:13:24
shoulds.
1:13:25
The
1:13:25
shoulds
1:13:26
are
1:13:26
the
1:13:26
worst.
1:13:27
Yes,
1:13:27
fuck
1:13:28
should.
1:13:28
Yes,
1:13:29
fuck
1:13:29
should.
1:13:30
Fuck
1:13:30
should.
1:13:30
Yeah,
1:13:31
I
1:13:31
would
1:13:32
say
1:13:33
there's
1:13:33
no
1:13:34
scarcity.
1:13:35
Like
1:13:37
people
1:13:37
will
1:13:38
give
1:13:38
to
1:13:38
you.
1:13:38
Don't
1:13:39
worry
1:13:39
about
1:13:40
what
1:13:40
other
1:13:41
people
1:13:41
are
1:13:41
getting
1:13:41
that
1:13:42
you're
1:13:42
not
1:13:42
getting.
1:13:43
Don't.
1:13:44
Don't
1:13:44
worry
1:13:44
that
1:13:45
there's
1:13:45
not
1:13:45
enough
1:13:45
for
1:13:46
you.
1:13:46
In
1:13:46
midlife.
1:13:47
I
1:13:47
realized
1:13:48
there's
1:13:48
plenty
1:13:49
to
1:13:49
go
1:13:49
around.
1:13:50
And
1:13:51
I
1:13:51
think
1:13:51
when
1:13:51
you
1:13:51
come
1:13:52
from
1:13:52
that
1:13:52
idea
1:13:53
of
1:13:53
there's
1:13:53
not
1:13:54
enough,
1:13:54
if
1:13:54
she
1:13:55
gets
1:13:55
it,
1:13:55
I
1:13:55
won't
1:13:55
get
1:13:56
it.
1:13:56
Or
1:13:56
if
1:13:56
he
1:13:56
gets
1:13:56
it,
1:13:57
I
1:13:57
won't
1:13:57
get
1:13:57
it.
1:13:58
You
1:13:58
act
1:13:58
in
1:13:59
a
1:13:59
certain
1:13:59
way,
1:13:59
you
1:13:59
hold
1:14:00
yourself
1:14:00
back.
1:14:01
You
1:14:01
may
1:14:01
not
1:14:02
be
1:14:02
as
1:14:02
generous
1:14:03
in
1:14:03
spirit
1:14:03
as
1:14:03
you
1:14:04
could
1:14:04
be.
1:14:04
So
1:14:05
just
1:14:05
remember
1:14:06
it's
1:14:06
all
1:14:06
out
1:14:07
there.
1:14:07
Like
1:14:07
the
1:14:08
tree
1:14:08
has
1:14:08
plenty
1:14:09
of
1:14:09
apples.
1:14:10
There's
1:14:11
no
1:14:11
shortage
1:14:12
of
1:14:12
apples.
1:14:13
So
1:14:14
pick
1:14:14
as
1:14:14
many
1:14:14
as
1:14:14
you
1:14:15
want.
1:14:15
Make
1:14:15
applesauce.
1:14:17
Do
1:14:17
all
1:14:17
the
1:14:17
apple
1:14:18
stuff.
1:14:18
Like
1:14:19
all
1:14:19
of
1:14:19
it.
1:14:19
You
1:14:19
know,
1:14:20
that's
1:14:21
great.
1:14:21
Set
1:14:21
yourself
1:14:22
up
1:14:22
early
1:14:22
to
1:14:23
kind
1:14:23
of
1:14:23
live
1:14:23
abundantly.
1:14:24
So
1:14:24
you're
1:14:24
not
1:14:24
in
1:14:25
that
1:14:26
mind
1:14:26
frame.
1:14:27
Yeah,
1:14:27
absolutely.
1:14:29
How
1:14:29
are
1:14:29
you
1:14:29
two
1:14:30
living
1:14:30
iconically.
1:14:31
Right
1:14:31
now,
1:14:32
I'm
1:14:32
living
1:14:33
without.
1:14:35
I'm
1:14:35
learning
1:14:36
that
1:14:36
I
1:14:36
don't
1:14:36
need
1:14:36
as
1:14:36
much
1:14:37
as
1:14:37
I
1:14:37
used
1:14:37
to.
1:14:38
I'm.
1:14:39
I'm
1:14:39
traveling.
1:14:40
I'm.
1:14:41
I'm.
1:14:43
I'm
1:14:43
living
1:14:44
on
1:14:44
my
1:14:44
own
1:14:44
terms.
1:14:45
And
1:14:45
essentially.
1:14:46
And
1:14:46
I
1:14:46
think
1:14:50
that
1:14:50
is
1:14:50
refreshing
1:14:51
and
1:14:51
peaceful
1:14:52
for
1:14:52
me.
1:14:53
So
1:14:53
that's
1:14:53
iconic.
1:14:54
If
1:14:54
not
1:14:54
feeling
1:14:55
like
1:14:55
I
1:14:55
needed
1:14:55
to
1:14:56
be
1:14:56
in
1:14:56
a
1:14:56
box
1:14:56
or.
1:14:57
Or
1:14:57
such
1:14:57
and
1:14:57
creating
1:14:59
from
1:14:59
a
1:15:00
beautiful,
1:15:00
expanded
1:15:01
space.
1:15:02
So
1:15:02
that's
1:15:02
iconic
1:15:03
living
1:15:03
to
1:15:04
me.
1:15:04
I
1:15:05
am
1:15:05
living
1:15:05
iconically
1:15:06
by
1:15:06
mixing
1:15:07
prints.
1:15:07
Like,
1:15:08
I
1:15:08
will
1:15:08
wear
1:15:08
a
1:15:08
leopard
1:15:09
top
1:15:09
with
1:15:09
floral
1:15:10
pants
1:15:11
and
1:15:12
maybe
1:15:12
suede
1:15:13
boots
1:15:13
with
1:15:14
a
1:15:14
buckle.
1:15:14
I'm
1:15:14
also
1:15:15
living
1:15:15
iconically
1:15:16
by
1:15:16
saying
1:15:16
no.
1:15:17
For
1:15:17
instance,
1:15:17
I
1:15:17
was
1:15:17
recently
1:15:18
out
1:15:18
to
1:15:18
dinner,
1:15:18
and
1:15:20
a
1:15:20
woman
1:15:20
said,
1:15:20
well,
1:15:20
I'm
1:15:20
going
1:15:21
to
1:15:21
order
1:15:21
for
1:15:21
everyone.
1:15:21
I'm
1:15:22
going
1:15:22
to
1:15:22
order
1:15:22
for
1:15:22
the
1:15:22
table.
1:15:22
And
1:15:23
I
1:15:23
said,
1:15:23
well,
1:15:23
I
1:15:23
don't
1:15:24
share
1:15:24
food.
1:15:25
She
1:15:25
was
1:15:25
like,
1:15:25
what?
1:15:26
And
1:15:27
I
1:15:27
said,
1:15:27
I
1:15:27
don't
1:15:27
like
1:15:27
to
1:15:27
share
1:15:28
food,
1:15:28
so
1:15:28
I'm
1:15:28
going
1:15:28
to
1:15:28
order
1:15:29
my
1:15:29
own
1:15:29
food.
1:15:30
And
1:15:30
the
1:15:30
women
1:15:30
at
1:15:30
the
1:15:31
table
1:15:31
were
1:15:31
like,
1:15:31
you
1:15:32
can
1:15:32
do
1:15:32
that?
1:15:33
And
1:15:33
I
1:15:33
said,
1:15:34
nikon,
1:15:34
you
1:15:35
can.
1:15:35
Just
1:15:36
speaking
1:15:36
your
1:15:37
mind
1:15:37
and
1:15:37
just
1:15:38
asking
1:15:39
one
1:15:39
and
1:15:39
saying
1:15:40
no
1:15:40
if
1:15:40
you
1:15:41
don't
1:15:41
want
1:15:41
to
1:15:41
do
1:15:41
something.
1:15:42
And
1:15:42
wearing
1:15:42
a
1:15:43
lot
1:15:43
of
1:15:43
leopard.
1:15:44
I
1:15:44
love
1:15:44
that
1:15:45
saying
1:15:45
no
1:15:46
when
1:15:46
you
1:15:46
don't
1:15:46
want
1:15:46
to
1:15:46
do
1:15:46
something.
1:15:47
Yeah,
1:15:47
no,
1:15:48
no,
1:15:48
thank
1:15:49
you.
1:15:49
And
1:15:49
you
1:15:50
don't
1:15:50
even
1:15:50
need
1:15:50
an
1:15:50
explanation.
1:15:51
No
1:15:51
is
1:15:51
a
1:15:52
complete
1:15:52
sentence
1:15:53
like,
1:15:53
no,
1:15:54
thank
1:15:54
you.
1:15:54
That's
1:15:55
fine.
1:15:56
I
1:15:56
do
1:15:56
have
1:15:56
to
1:15:56
say,
1:15:56
Monica,
1:15:57
like,
1:15:58
one
1:15:58
of
1:15:58
the
1:15:58
first
1:15:58
times
1:15:59
I
1:15:59
met
1:15:59
you,
1:15:59
one
1:15:59
of
1:16:00
the
1:16:00
things
1:16:00
that
1:16:00
resonated
1:16:01
so
1:16:01
much
1:16:02
when
1:16:02
we
1:16:02
were
1:16:03
talking
1:16:03
is
1:16:03
you
1:16:04
were
1:16:04
so
1:16:04
fun.
1:16:05
You
1:16:05
came
1:16:05
up
1:16:05
and
1:16:05
you
1:16:05
had
1:16:06
this
1:16:06
great,
1:16:07
like,
1:16:07
Kenzo
1:16:08
dress
1:16:08
on.
1:16:08
And
1:16:08
you're
1:16:08
like,
1:16:09
yeah,
1:16:10
I
1:16:10
wore
1:16:10
this
1:16:10
to
1:16:10
an
1:16:11
event
1:16:11
last
1:16:11
night,
1:16:11
too.
1:16:12
And
1:16:12
I
1:16:12
was
1:16:12
like,
1:16:13
yes,
1:16:13
I
1:16:14
love
1:16:14
somebody
1:16:15
who
1:16:15
will
1:16:15
repeat
1:16:16
a
1:16:16
good
1:16:16
outfit
1:16:17
and
1:16:17
not
1:16:17
think
1:16:18
twice
1:16:18
about
1:16:18
it.
1:16:18
I.
1:16:19
I
1:16:19
am
1:16:19
the
1:16:19
biggest,
1:16:20
like,
1:16:20
outfit
1:16:20
repeater
1:16:21
of
1:16:21
all
1:16:21
time.
1:16:21
If
1:16:21
I
1:16:22
like,
1:16:22
oh,
1:16:22
same,
1:16:23
right.
1:16:23
Yes.
1:16:24
See
1:16:24
me
1:16:24
wearing
1:16:25
it
1:16:25
multiple
1:16:25
times.
1:16:26
Like,
1:16:26
I
1:16:27
was
1:16:27
like,
1:16:27
yes,
1:16:27
wear
1:16:28
your
1:16:28
clothes.
1:16:29
Wear
1:16:29
your.
1:16:30
And
1:16:30
wear
1:16:30
whatever
1:16:30
the
1:16:30
fuck
1:16:31
you
1:16:31
want
1:16:31
to
1:16:31
wear.
1:16:31
That
1:16:31
makes
1:16:32
you
1:16:32
feel
1:16:32
good.
1:16:32
Right?
1:16:33
If
1:16:33
it
1:16:33
worked
1:16:34
last
1:16:34
night,
1:16:34
it's
1:16:35
going
1:16:35
to
1:16:35
work
1:16:35
tonight.
1:16:36
Yeah,
1:16:37
exactly.
1:16:38
Exactly.
1:16:39
And
1:16:39
no
1:16:39
one
1:16:40
cares
1:16:40
because
1:16:40
everyone's
1:16:41
looking
1:16:41
at
1:16:41
their
1:16:41
phones.
1:16:44
Oh,
1:16:44
my
1:16:44
God.
1:16:44
That's
1:16:45
the
1:16:45
thing.
1:16:45
Nobody
1:16:46
fudgeing
1:16:46
cares.
1:16:46
Like,
1:16:47
we
1:16:47
think
1:16:47
that
1:16:48
everybody
1:16:48
is
1:16:49
watching
1:16:49
to
1:16:49
see
1:16:49
what
1:16:49
we
1:16:50
did,
1:16:50
like,
1:16:50
five
1:16:50
minutes.
1:16:51
And
1:16:51
I'm
1:16:51
like,
1:16:51
nobody
1:16:52
fucking
1:16:52
cares.
1:16:52
Nobody
1:16:53
cares.
1:16:53
They're
1:16:53
not
1:16:53
even
1:16:53
thinking
1:16:54
about
1:16:54
you.
1:16:55
No.
1:16:55
Everyone
1:16:56
is
1:16:56
so
1:16:56
concerned.
1:16:57
Totally.
1:16:58
Well,
1:16:58
ladies,
1:16:58
I
1:16:59
am
1:16:59
so
1:17:00
thrilled
1:17:00
we
1:17:00
got
1:17:01
to
1:17:01
do
1:17:01
this.
1:17:01
This
1:17:02
just
1:17:03
the
1:17:03
article,
1:17:04
the
1:17:04
subject
1:17:05
I
1:17:05
think
1:17:05
is
1:17:05
so
1:17:05
fascinating.
1:17:06
It's
1:17:07
going
1:17:07
to
1:17:07
resonate
1:17:08
with
1:17:08
so
1:17:09
many
1:17:09
people.
1:17:09
So
1:17:10
I
1:17:10
just
1:17:10
want
1:17:11
to
1:17:11
thank
1:17:11
you
1:17:11
guys
1:17:11
for
1:17:11
your
1:17:12
honesty,
1:17:12
for,
1:17:13
you
1:17:13
know,
1:17:13
your
1:17:14
expertise,
1:17:14
for
1:17:15
going
1:17:15
out
1:17:16
there
1:17:16
and
1:17:16
doing
1:17:17
this
1:17:17
thing
1:17:17
and
1:17:17
really
1:17:17
bringing
1:17:18
it
1:17:18
to
1:17:18
light.
1:17:18
Because
1:17:18
no
1:17:19
doubt
1:17:19
it
1:17:19
will
1:17:20
help
1:17:20
so
1:17:20
many
1:17:20
women
1:17:21
who
1:17:21
are
1:17:21
going
1:17:22
through
1:17:22
this
1:17:22
right
1:17:23
now.
1:17:23
So
1:17:23
I
1:17:24
thank
1:17:24
you
1:17:24
guys.
1:17:24
Thank
1:17:25
you
1:17:27
again,
1:17:27
Melissa,
1:17:28
for
1:17:28
talking
1:17:29
to
1:17:29
me.
1:17:29
Happy
1:17:30
to
1:17:30
help.
1:17:30
Thank
1:17:31
you
1:17:31
for
1:17:31
having
1:17:31
us.
1:17:32
And
1:17:32
Roxy,
1:17:33
great
1:17:33
questions.
1:17:33
I
1:17:34
can't
1:17:34
wait
1:17:34
to
1:17:34
watch
1:17:35
this.
1:17:35
Thank
1:17:36
you.
1:17:36
So
1:17:37
before
1:17:37
we
1:17:37
go,
1:17:37
you
1:17:38
guys,
1:17:38
please
1:17:38
let
1:17:39
everybody
1:17:39
know
1:17:39
where
1:17:39
they
1:17:40
can
1:17:40
find
1:17:40
you.
1:17:41
Follow
1:17:41
me,
1:17:42
Monica
1:17:43
at
1:17:43
Pretty
1:17:43
Ripe
1:17:44
on
1:17:44
Instagram.
1:17:45
I
1:17:45
also
1:17:45
write
1:17:46
for
1:17:46
the
1:17:47
Cut
1:17:47
regularly.
1:17:48
I'm
1:17:48
a
1:17:48
columnist
1:17:49
at
1:17:49
Goop.
1:17:50
And
1:17:51
when
1:17:51
you
1:17:51
go
1:17:51
to
1:17:51
pretty
1:17:52
ripe.com
1:17:53
you
1:17:53
can
1:17:53
sign
1:17:53
up
1:17:53
for
1:17:54
my
1:17:54
newsletter.
1:17:55
So
1:17:55
good.
1:17:55
Can't
1:17:56
wait
1:17:56
to
1:17:56
see.
1:17:56
I
1:17:57
know
1:17:57
you've
1:17:58
got
1:17:58
a
1:17:58
lot
1:17:58
coming
1:17:58
down
1:17:58
the
1:17:59
pipeline
1:17:59
with
1:17:59
more
1:17:59
articles
1:18:00
and
1:18:00
a
1:18:00
book
1:18:00
and
1:18:01
all
1:18:01
that
1:18:01
good
1:18:02
stuff,
1:18:02
so
1:18:02
cannot
1:18:02
wait
1:18:03
to
1:18:03
hear
1:18:03
more
1:18:03
about
1:18:04
that.
1:18:04
Melissa,
1:18:05
where
1:18:05
can
1:18:05
everybody
1:18:06
find
1:18:06
you?
1:18:07
You
1:18:07
can
1:18:07
follow
1:18:07
me
1:18:07
on
1:18:08
Instagram
1:18:08
at
1:18:08
Melissa
1:18:09
Chtain
1:18:09
if
1:18:10
you'd
1:18:10
like
1:18:10
to
1:18:10
attend
1:18:10
my
1:18:10
events
1:18:11
or
1:18:11
book
1:18:11
a
1:18:11
styling
1:18:12
session
1:18:12
or
1:18:12
join
1:18:13
me
1:18:13
for
1:18:13
one
1:18:13
of
1:18:13
my
1:18:14
retreats
1:18:14
in
1:18:14
France,
1:18:15
you
1:18:15
can
1:18:15
find
1:18:15
that@melissa.
1:18:16
Chitan.Com
1:18:18
Monica
1:18:18
and
1:18:18
Melissa
1:18:19
are
1:18:19
coming
1:18:19
back
1:18:20
on
1:18:20
Thursday
1:18:20
for
1:18:21
the
1:18:21
bonus
1:18:22
game
1:18:22
episode
1:18:23
Drop,
1:18:23
which
1:18:24
we
1:18:24
are
1:18:24
going
1:18:24
to
1:18:24
film
1:18:25
next,
1:18:25
and
1:18:25
it's
1:18:26
going
1:18:26
to
1:18:26
be
1:18:26
so
1:18:26
much
1:18:27
fun.
1:18:27
So
1:18:27
you're
1:18:28
going
1:18:28
to
1:18:28
be
1:18:28
listening
1:18:28
to
1:18:29
this
1:18:29
episode
1:18:29
on
1:18:29
Tuesday.
1:18:30
Come
1:18:30
back
1:18:30
on
1:18:31
Thursday
1:18:31
so
1:18:31
you
1:18:32
can
1:18:32
hear
1:18:32
the
1:18:33
full
1:18:33
game
1:18:33
episode
1:18:34
because
1:18:34
it's
1:18:34
going
1:18:34
to
1:18:34
be
1:18:34
a
1:18:35
little
1:18:35
saucy
1:18:35
and
1:18:35
spicy.
1:18:38
Yes,
1:18:38
I
1:18:39
can't
1:18:39
wait.
1:18:40
So
1:18:40
everybody
1:18:40
come
1:18:41
back
1:18:41
see
1:18:41
us
1:18:41
again
1:18:41
on
1:18:42
Thursday.
1:18:42
Thank
1:18:42
you
1:18:43
to
1:18:43
Melissa
1:18:43
and
1:18:44
Monica.
1:18:46
Bye,
1:18:46
everyone.
1:18:47
Bye.
1:18:48
Thank
1:18:48
you,
1:18:48
Roxy.
1:18:50
This
1:18:50
conversation
1:18:51
really
1:18:52
stays
1:18:52
with
1:18:52
me
1:18:53
because
1:18:53
what
1:18:54
I
1:18:54
hear
1:18:54
underneath
1:18:55
all
1:18:55
of
1:18:55
this
1:18:55
isn't
1:18:56
just
1:18:56
about
1:18:56
marriage.
1:18:57
It's
1:18:57
about
1:18:57
women
1:18:58
in
1:18:58
midlife
1:18:59
finally
1:18:59
realizing
1:19:00
that
1:19:00
time
1:19:00
is
1:19:01
not
1:19:01
infinite.
1:19:02
That
1:19:02
our
1:19:03
bodies
1:19:03
are
1:19:03
not
1:19:03
infinite,
1:19:04
our
1:19:04
patients
1:19:05
is
1:19:05
not
1:19:06
infinite.
1:19:07
And
1:19:07
our
1:19:07
willingness
1:19:08
to
1:19:08
disappear
1:19:09
inside
1:19:09
a
1:19:09
life
1:19:09
that
1:19:10
doesn't
1:19:10
fit
1:19:10
anymore
1:19:11
is
1:19:11
not
1:19:12
infinite
1:19:12
either.
1:19:13
Whether
1:19:14
a
1:19:14
woman
1:19:14
chooses
1:19:15
to
1:19:15
leave,
1:19:15
to
1:19:16
stay
1:19:16
and
1:19:16
renegotiate,
1:19:18
to
1:19:18
open
1:19:18
a
1:19:18
marriage
1:19:19
or
1:19:19
quietly
1:19:19
reclaim
1:19:20
herself
1:19:20
from
1:19:21
the
1:19:21
inside,
1:19:22
what
1:19:22
feels
1:19:22
undeniable
1:19:23
is
1:19:23
this.
1:19:24
Midlife
1:19:25
is
1:19:25
the
1:19:25
moment
1:19:25
when
1:19:26
women
1:19:26
stop
1:19:26
abandoning
1:19:27
themselves.
1:19:28
Monica,
1:19:29
Melissa,
1:19:30
thank
1:19:30
you
1:19:30
for
1:19:31
your
1:19:31
honesty,
1:19:31
your
1:19:32
courage,
1:19:32
and
1:19:32
for
1:19:33
naming
1:19:33
something
1:19:34
so
1:19:34
many
1:19:34
women
1:19:34
are
1:19:35
living
1:19:35
but
1:19:35
rarely
1:19:36
say
1:19:36
out
1:19:36
loud.
1:19:37
And
1:19:37
to
1:19:38
everyone
1:19:38
listening,
1:19:39
if
1:19:39
this
1:19:39
conversation
1:19:40
resonated
1:19:41
with
1:19:41
you,
1:19:42
I'd
1:19:42
love
1:19:42
for
1:19:43
you
1:19:43
to
1:19:43
do
1:19:43
three
1:19:44
quick
1:19:44
things
1:19:45
that
1:19:45
really
1:19:45
help
1:19:46
the
1:19:46
show
1:19:46
grow.
1:19:47
First,
1:19:48
tap
1:19:48
follow
1:19:48
on
1:19:49
your
1:19:49
podcast
1:19:50
app
1:19:50
so
1:19:50
you
1:19:51
never
1:19:51
miss
1:19:51
an
1:19:51
episode.
1:19:52
Second,
1:19:53
if
1:19:53
you're
1:19:53
on
1:19:53
Apple
1:19:54
Podcasts,
1:19:54
Spotify,
1:19:55
Amazon
1:19:56
Music
1:19:56
Music,
1:19:56
or
1:19:57
any
1:19:57
other
1:19:57
podcast
1:19:58
app,
1:19:58
leave
1:19:59
a
1:19:59
quick
1:19:59
rating
1:20:00
or
1:20:00
review.
1:20:00
It
1:20:01
helps
1:20:01
the
1:20:01
show
1:20:01
reach
1:20:02
more
1:20:02
women
1:20:03
who
1:20:03
need
1:20:03
these
1:20:04
conversations.
1:20:05
And
1:20:05
third,
1:20:06
share
1:20:06
this
1:20:06
episode
1:20:07
with
1:20:07
a
1:20:07
friend
1:20:08
who
1:20:08
you
1:20:08
know
1:20:08
is
1:20:09
quietly
1:20:09
navigating
1:20:10
something
1:20:10
similar.
1:20:11
You
1:20:12
can
1:20:12
also
1:20:12
watch
1:20:12
the
1:20:13
full
1:20:13
video
1:20:13
version
1:20:14
of
1:20:14
this
1:20:14
conversation
1:20:15
on
1:20:15
YouTube.
1:20:16
Just
1:20:16
search
1:20:16
the
1:20:16
Iconic
1:20:17
Midlife
1:20:18
and
1:20:18
come
1:20:18
say
1:20:18
hi
1:20:19
to
1:20:19
me
1:20:19
on
1:20:19
social
1:20:19
media
1:20:20
at
1:20:21
the
1:20:21
Iconic
1:20:22
Midlife
1:20:22
and
1:20:22
at
1:20:23
Red
1:20:23
Carpet
1:20:24
Roxy.
1:20:25
Because
1:20:25
we're
1:20:25
not
1:20:25
doing
1:20:26
midlife
1:20:26
quietly,
1:20:27
we're
1:20:27
doing
1:20:27
it
1:20:28
on
1:20:28
our
1:20:28
own
1:20:28
terms.