Latest / Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast / Should My Friend Seek Child Support from Her Ex?

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Should My Friend Seek Child Support from Her Ex? · Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast

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  Speaker 1: This jonaman Being podcast brought to you by Hello Fresh.
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  Speaker 1: The experts and Tastes that Kiwi's Law. Emotional scenes are
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  Speaker 1: the Warriors on Friday night to the last home game
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  Speaker 1: for Shawn Johnson, very very teary.
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  Speaker 2: It was when he walked out with his wonderful wife
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  Speaker 2: Kayla and their children and started tearing up. I imagine
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  Speaker 2: that would have been a big wave of emotion for him.
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  Speaker 2: Totally stupid comment, John, Obviously it was, but and it's
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  Speaker 2: hard to probably regather yourself from that moment then start
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  Speaker 2: tackling mofos.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, play a rugby league game, but yeah, really really sad.
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  Speaker 3: It was a great scend off. You're right, Tam.
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  Speaker 1: Meghan, Now someone's slid in to Meghan's TMS again worth
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  Speaker 1: a very well juicy dilemma.
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  Speaker 4: I guess in some ways they're like insensitive, which they
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  Speaker 4: address it sears. Hey, John, have Ben and Meghan. This
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  Speaker 4: is a sensitive topic and involves my best friend. Long
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  Speaker 4: story short, my friend and our ex husband were trying
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  Speaker 4: to have a baby and they froze embryos during their
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  Speaker 4: time together. They broke up and therefore didn't use them.
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  Speaker 4: Fast forward and my friend ended up using one of
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  Speaker 4: the embryos herself with the permission from her ex. As
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  Speaker 4: long as she agreed, she raised the child herself. He
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  Speaker 4: didn't want to be involved, But now the child is
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  Speaker 4: too and she is asking for child support. I'm support
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  Speaker 4: of her that he was very clear that he would
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  Speaker 4: give her the gift of a child, but didn't want
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  Speaker 4: to be involved. That included giving the child support. She
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  Speaker 4: keeps asking me for my opinion and what she should do.
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  Speaker 4: But I can't help but feel like she trapped him
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  Speaker 4: a wee bit and it isn't really fair. But then again,
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  Speaker 4: he is the father. Should he pay? Am I a
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  Speaker 4: bad friend for feeling like this?
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  Speaker 2: My first instinct is they had an arrangement. He has
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  Speaker 2: no obligation to pay. But then I've watched a lot
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  Speaker 2: of judges duty over my years. She would say, take
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  Speaker 2: the emotion out of it.
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  Speaker 3: What was the deal?
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  Speaker 2: Was it written down?
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  Speaker 4: Was it written?
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  Speaker 2: Was it contractual? Because then but if it was just
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  Speaker 2: he said, she said, then arguably the eyes of the
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  Speaker 2: law's he's got an obligation.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, it does feel like exactly what you said.
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  Speaker 1: I don't need to repeat exactly.
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  Speaker 3: You're on my team. I am, actually Yeah, like that
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  Speaker 3: does feel like it was the agreement.
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  Speaker 4: But did they did they get a contract, an actual
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  Speaker 4: agreement drawn up?
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  Speaker 2: Well, that hasn't been mentioned, which would need you to
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  Speaker 2: believe no, But is the.
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  Speaker 4: Verbal agreement enough in the eyes of the law in
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  Speaker 4: this situation?
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  Speaker 3: Does he have some sort of obligation? You know, and
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  Speaker 3: someone will not well.
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  Speaker 2: You would as even a bit yeah, because are you first, four, ten,
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  Speaker 2: fifteen years in this situation and the child's growing up?
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  Speaker 2: What do you do then, because this person might still
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  Speaker 2: be in and around, Yeah, the house, and do you
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  Speaker 2: like it gets messy? It does get very messy. But
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  Speaker 2: the question we're asking is is he obligated to pay
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  Speaker 2: child support off the back of this arrangement?
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  Speaker 3: I'd love to know what he has his thoughts changed
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  Speaker 3: towards it.
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  Speaker 1: You know, has he met the child, does he feel
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  Speaker 1: like maybe yeah, part of their life move.
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  Speaker 4: On from the friend obviously, Well, it sounds like they're
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  Speaker 4: not at all in any kind of relationship.
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  Speaker 2: It reminds me of when I'm walking through Westfield More
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  Speaker 2: and they're like, hey, sir, would you like to sign
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  Speaker 2: up direct debit to save the starving chinchillas of Bolivia?
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll help them, and then I
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  Speaker 2: canceled the direct debbit a couple of months later. But
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  Speaker 2: then they come knocking three years later and they're like
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  Speaker 2: that chinchilla you helped save starving to death now wants
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  Speaker 2: a house pay.
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  Speaker 3: Up just like that, right, questioning that example, No part
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  Speaker 3: of me.
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  Speaker 2: You got lost your example lot doing that example.
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  Speaker 3: When you started. Okay, so what okay, what do we
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  Speaker 3: want to know here, Meghan?
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  Speaker 4: What will the friend wants to know? Is she a
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  Speaker 4: bad friend?
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  Speaker 3: Fulfilling like that?
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  Speaker 4: Should the father technically should he be paying? I guess
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  Speaker 4: what is the legalities around that too?
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  Speaker 3: If you lawyer, and.
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  Speaker 2: So your friend probably wants to know she should say
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  Speaker 2: something to her mate and so how you should back
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  Speaker 2: asking for child support page.
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  Speaker 3: The hits that johnaan Ben podcast.
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  Speaker 1: We're in the middle of today's dem Megan, which has
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  Speaker 1: got to do with the child support and an agreement.
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  Speaker 1: We don't know how rock solid the agreement was, but
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  Speaker 1: just a recap, Megan.
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  Speaker 4: So this is a friend messaging in about her friend
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  Speaker 4: and ex husband. They were trying to have a baby,
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  Speaker 4: their froze embryos, which they didn't use when they were
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  Speaker 4: in a relationship. Fast forward, she asked if she could
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  Speaker 4: use the embryo to have the baby herself. The verbal agreement,
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  Speaker 4: as far as we know, was that he didn't want
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  Speaker 4: to be involved.
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  Speaker 3: Now that the.
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  Speaker 4: Baby's too, the child's too, she is asking for child support,
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  Speaker 4: but he said he didn't want to do anything. I
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  Speaker 4: didn't want to be involved in any way.
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  Speaker 2: And it's in his position I would be like again,
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  Speaker 2: fast forward fifteen years and the kids growing up, and
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  Speaker 2: he's joined a gang like the Tea Birds from Greece
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  Speaker 2: or something, and he's like, you know, my best friend
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  Speaker 2: wouldn't be Danny Zuker if you just paid child support.
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  Speaker 3: You know that would linger over me. Yeah, the guilt
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  Speaker 3: of well you want to do? You want to help
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  Speaker 3: out this kid? Eternal instinct you exactly. Yeah, That's why
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  Speaker 3: I really love to know if he wants to be
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  Speaker 3: more involved or not. What's the text machine saying there?
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  Speaker 4: Flooded He didn't actually have the physical situation to conceive
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  Speaker 4: the child. She did that knowing he didn't want to
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  Speaker 4: be with her or support her.
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  Speaker 3: No way.
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  Speaker 4: Should he have to pay child support? Someone said, surely
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  Speaker 4: he had to sign off on it. Well, it sounds
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  Speaker 4: like he did. And if they didn't have a contract
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  Speaker 4: after that, then basically.
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  Speaker 3: He's agreed to do it.
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  Speaker 4: This is someone that said, quoting a lawyer, a verbal
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  Speaker 4: agreement is passable in a court of law, and this
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  Speaker 4: would be sufficient to swing in the favor of the
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  Speaker 4: father not having to pay child right.
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  Speaker 2: Well, but the question this morning, I guess is, does
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  Speaker 2: this lady confront her friend and say, hey, back off
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  Speaker 2: the child support demand's car?
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  Speaker 4: You're on?
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  Speaker 3: How are you?
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  Speaker 5: I'm good Now, my blood's not boiling so much?
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  Speaker 3: Were your blood? Your blood's boiling from?
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  Speaker 4: Who are you defending?
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  Speaker 5: I'm defending him? I heard a friendship. That friendship, Hell,
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  Speaker 5: one hundred percent. It's not right.
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  Speaker 4: It's to me.
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  Speaker 5: I feel like this woman has gotten older and she's
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  Speaker 5: going kind of getting at the end of her kind
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  Speaker 5: of being able to have kids situation, possibly in the embryo. There.
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  Speaker 5: He's done her a solid, you know, he's been a
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  Speaker 5: good guy and said, yeah, okay, that's cool him and
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  Speaker 5: heard the reasons, you know, were his his demands or
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  Speaker 5: whatever you want to call them, and then she's just
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  Speaker 5: got totally against that.
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  Speaker 3: Yep.
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  Speaker 2: True, he was pretty clear by the sounds, but pretty
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  Speaker 2: clear with his.
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  Speaker 3: Communication agreement there.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like if I is an example walking through
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  Speaker 2: Westfield and they're demanding money for chinchillas.
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  Speaker 3: And Bolivia your blood boil.
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  Speaker 2: John, thanks for the chinchilla example.
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  Speaker 3: That really cleared things up for me.
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  Speaker 4: Martin.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, good.
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  Speaker 2: Do you think the friends should confront her mate and say, hey,
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  Speaker 2: child support payments? No?
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  Speaker 6: No, no, definitely, I mean I do want to text
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  Speaker 6: it and it said, you know, you think they both
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  Speaker 6: would have had to sign off on the ivy en
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  Speaker 6: ye And in my eyes, surely.
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  Speaker 5: You'd get something written down to say that it's.
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  Speaker 6: Not technically it's not going to be my.
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  Speaker 5: Child kind of thing.
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  Speaker 6: But yeah, turn around and say pull.
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  Speaker 2: Your ahead and it's yeah, you.
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  Speaker 6: Know, it's un here on him if he didn't want
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  Speaker 6: to him any more kids or if he's in another
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  Speaker 6: marriage with kids.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, well he did a favor and it's come back
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  Speaker 2: to bite.
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  Speaker 4: And do you know what, probably ninety percent of people
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  Speaker 4: on the text machine are agreeing.
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  Speaker 3: So resolution, that's what we're going to say.
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  Speaker 4: But someone said, as his name on the birth certificate,
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  Speaker 4: if it is, he probably has to.
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  Speaker 1: Pay Childs's that johnaan Ben podcast.
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  Speaker 2: Andra, We are tracked down The team tracked down a
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  Speaker 2: reproductive lawyer.
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  Speaker 4: Someone who specializes in this kind of situation.
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  Speaker 2: Xandra joins us on the phone. Good morning to you,
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  Speaker 2: Good morning King Lovely. Now, just to clarify, we're not
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  Speaker 2: paying per hour for this house.
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  Speaker 6: No, no, no, absolutely not.
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  Speaker 2: All right, okay, because it will come on Ben's credit card.
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  Speaker 2: He's got sixty three million views on the internet at
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  Speaker 2: the moment, any money, all of you. Xandra, Now you've
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  Speaker 2: heard the scenario legally, we're just you know, quite interested
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  Speaker 2: to know from a legal standpoint, where does everyone sit.
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  Speaker 6: Well, look, absolutely, and whom's not the ex husband who
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  Speaker 6: I think is one of your listen has just said
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  Speaker 6: did her favor? You know, he is exposed. He's exposed
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  Speaker 6: for to pay chart support in terms of he's consented
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  Speaker 6: to her using the embryo and I assume is on
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  Speaker 6: the birth partificate, which then of course makes him a
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  Speaker 6: father and a guardian. In saying that, though there would
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  Speaker 6: be grounds to argue that with IDA and apply for
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  Speaker 6: what's called and it's been reviewed. But yeah, I mean,
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  Speaker 6: I'm not going to sound like annoyed it here, but
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  Speaker 6: it's exactly what I am. It's so important to get
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  Speaker 6: these to get something documented and get an agreement and
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  Speaker 6: get the independent advice before so that everybody knows, get it.
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  Speaker 1: In writing, and get it and write, because what's the
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  Speaker 1: thing a vo agreement? I guess it is kind of
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  Speaker 1: like he said, she says, or whatever the situation is.
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  Speaker 6: Right, Yeah, absolutely, but also to just get that two
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  Speaker 6: lawyers each, get your own lawyer, get independent legal advice,
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  Speaker 6: get it documented in an agreement. It doesn't cost a lot.
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  Speaker 6: We do these quite regularly with beef. They call donor agreements,
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  Speaker 6: and everybody knows where they stand that. You know, you're
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  Speaker 6: not going to be a parent who's got the responsibility
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  Speaker 6: day to day. You're not going to go on the
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  Speaker 6: birth certificate. You're not going to apply at a later
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  Speaker 6: stage to be a guidian. But you know important for
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  Speaker 6: the guy in this scenario not going to be responsible financially.
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  Speaker 4: So I've heard from the friend and we know that
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  Speaker 4: there was no official contract, so it was a verbal agreement.
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  Speaker 4: But she's not sure if he is on the birth certificate,
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  Speaker 4: say he's not, but they only have a verbal agreement.
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  Speaker 4: Where would they stand with child support in that scenario?
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, that it would be really difficult for her to
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  Speaker 6: get child support in that scenario and so that's key.
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  Speaker 6: That's the key. But is he unburstificate or not. If
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  Speaker 6: he's not, then that's going to make it very difficult.
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  Speaker 2: Well, Xandra, if anyone finds their life falling apart, how
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: do we get.
• 10:30
  Speaker 6: Hold of you? Just just google my name, you know,
• 10:34
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• 10:37
  Speaker 3: Great now, I've never heard the name Xandrew.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: It's a wonderful name.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 10:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it is good.
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: It is good.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Good name, good name.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: You love the name being.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: It's like you had a personalized plate and said I
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: couldn't get Sandra, so I just get the Z version.
• 10:51
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