Latest / Harder Than Life / Why Success Sometimes Means Leaving People Behind w/ Rhonda Klch

Transcript

Why Success Sometimes Means Leaving People Behind w/ Rhonda Klch · Harder Than Life

0:00
If I had a moment of weakness in a local environment, it could put my business on fire.
0:07
I have a moment of weakness when I'm sitting in a mastermind.
0:10
I've had a breakthrough.
0:13
Go deeper into the trust recession.
0:15
I still find 90% of the room are filled with imposters.
0:19
The person who is selling real estate programs, but they've never completed their own transaction.
0:24
They're just not authentic.
0:26
If you want to learn something, our natural reaction is to go to YouTube or Instagram, TikTok, and grab a couple of seconds of content.
0:35
That's your mentor.
0:36
Did you just tell me you learned this on a 45 second reel?
0:40
Every time I make a referral, it is a loan out my reputation.
0:44
If somebody violates that trust, what do they have to do to earn it back?
0:47
Is it intentional or is it just the way that they operate?
0:50
When somebody gets defensive about their actions, I think it has a lot to say about who they are.
0:54
How do you tell the difference between a season ending and quitting too early?
0:57
Wow, that's a good one.
0:59
Why?
1:00
I think that...
1:03
Someone listening right now has outgrown the room they're sitting in.
1:06
I've done it.
1:07
I bought companies and I had to tell people who built them that they were not part of what came next.
1:12
I walked out of the house I grew up in and never went back into that version of me.
1:16
My guest has built businesses, invested in real estate, advised founders and fund managers, and every level costs her a room and some of the people in it.
1:25
Now she is building a platform on one idea that should make you uncomfortable.
1:30
She is the president of MentorBox.
1:32
Rhonda Klitsch, this one is going to cost you a couple of uncomfortable beliefs.
1:37
Stay anyway.
1:42
Welcome, my good friend.
1:43
How are you?
1:43
Good, Kelly.
1:44
How are you?
1:45
Everybody on our podcast talks about what success gave them, and I want the invoice because we were talking about it last night.
1:51
We were.
1:51
What did success cost you that you were not expecting to pay?
1:55
You know, I think there's a twofold in everything that we do, right?
1:59
You have to look at what are you leaving behind and what are you looking forward to in the next chapter.
2:05
So I think it's safe to say that for me, success, I've left behind relationships that served its purpose for that season, right?
2:14
And we've talked about that before.
2:15
Yeah.
2:16
But what I'm really looking forward to is the impact.
2:19
And I'm okay with everything I'm leaving behind because I'm most looking forward to the impact of what I'm building for everybody else.
2:27
Why don't we cling to that, the old?
2:30
It's comfortable.
2:31
It's safe, right?
2:32
How many, we've had these conversations.
2:35
And those that know me, they get it.
2:37
They really know.
2:38
People like safety.
2:40
They are not risk takers.
2:42
And I think it's fair to say, especially you and I, as entrepreneurs and people that are constantly in motion, we're creators.
2:51
So for us, you know, I don't know that we really like being stable.
3:00
There's a certain level of crazy that comes with what we do.
3:03
Yeah, you had me thinking about that a lot last night when I was asking questions.
3:07
I had no answers.
3:08
Nor did I want to provide answers.
3:10
I just wanted to feel what you were going through and just sit there with you.
3:14
So find you some people in the room that can just sit with you and say, I'm right there.
3:19
Because I'm in the very similar situation, a little different, but very similar feeling-wise.
3:25
So how do you know when someone cannot come with you to the next chapter?
3:29
Not the feeling, but what's the tell?
3:32
I think there's a misalignment.
3:35
For me, I'm an over-communicator.
3:37
Those that know me know that if I'm experiencing something, I'm uncomfortable with something, I will express myself.
3:45
So there usually is a few signs ahead of it.
3:50
So I'm not just walking in one day saying, you're out, you're done, you're fired.
3:54
I'm on to the next.
3:55
But, you know, family, you know, my family has had to endure my travel, my schedule, my coming and going.
4:03
And, you know, you look back sometimes and you look at the milestones that maybe you missed and opportunities for time.
4:10
You know, we were talking about your daughter, you know, I have my kids.
4:14
But as success changes you and what I'm working on specifically now, again, I don't regret any of my decisions.
4:22
And when we're looking at the growth opportunities and you're saying, like, it's not about this.
4:27
Like, what happens next?
4:29
Like, how do you handle that?
4:30
I think, again, as an entrepreneur, especially with my own journey, I'm an over communicator.
4:36
And there is sometimes this misalignment where we are growing at such a heavy pace and
4:43
And the rest of us, I know you're laughing, but the rest of us, they're comfortable.
4:49
And that's okay.
4:50
You just have to figure out where you can make those adjustments.
4:52
And right now I'm living for me.
4:55
Comfort.
4:57
I literally am looking at my notes and I'm saying, I grew up loyalty to chaos.
5:01
Loyalty was survival in my household.
5:04
So chaos was my normal.
5:07
And it took me decades to see that loyalty can be the part that's running the show and there's no value to it.
5:14
So I think that us talking about living, working in that is, and it's what makes us thrive, but I literally crave peace now.
5:26
I lay down sometimes and people will say to me, how do you unwind?
5:31
Right.
5:32
I don't even know what, I don't even understand what you're asking me right now.
5:36
I was like, I close my eyes.
5:37
But when we use the word peace, I think where you and I are at in our lives and our careers, you know, even age, right?
5:44
We were talking like we're both over 50.
5:47
Things change, right?
5:49
You know, and yeah.
5:50
Peace for me anyway, and feel free, chime in here, but peace for me is having less is more.
5:58
I have less people that I can count on, but they provide more value than me having 100 people in my ecosystem.
6:06
I find the one or two people that I could truly be me around to...
6:11
Case in point, I had a conversation earlier today with a friend of mine, and he said, I feel like I get the 16-year-old version of you.
6:21
And he said, I watch you in rooms and you're a magnet, right?
6:27
I mean, you and I, we've talked about this.
6:28
I'm a little bit of a unicorn where it comes to positioning and putting people together.
6:33
It's one of my superpowers.
6:35
But what happens to your point, where do you find your peace?
6:38
And this friend of mine says, watching you when that door closes, I get this 16-year-old silly version of you.
6:46
He's like, why do you not share that with anybody else?
6:49
He said, that's for me.
6:51
You just triggered me.
6:54
16, how do you tap into that 16 year old version of you?
6:56
Because my 16 year old version was still fighting for safety.
7:01
I moved out of my house when I was 16.
7:04
Same.
7:04
And I keep saying, I want to go back and play like a kid again.
7:09
But truth is, I never played like a kid because it was never safe.
7:12
If I did anything fun or did anything wrong, I was severely punished, beaten in fact.
7:17
Yeah.
7:19
I've never been able to play.
7:22
So how do you do that?
7:23
All right, so I'll start by saying I lived on my own at 16.
7:28
I grinded every day.
7:30
I didn't know that.
7:31
I did.
7:32
Yeah, I have my own power story, right?
7:35
We all do.
7:37
But that 16-year-old version, I think, where I am at an adult level now, that 16-year-old version of me was who I would want to have been
7:48
if the opportunity allowed it.
7:50
So when all of my friends, when they would be in high school, they were on cheer or they were playing sports and their parents were buying them things, I was working.
8:01
I was 17 years old and I worked.
8:04
I was making more money than most of my friends' parents.
8:09
And I'm showing up to school with new cars that I bought for me.
8:14
You know, I didn't need anybody.
8:15
And that's, I think, a big driver for me.
8:18
People are like, oh, you must really want to have a husband.
8:21
Like, what does your husband do?
8:22
You know, he must really help you a lot.
8:24
Like, what are you kidding?
8:25
I don't need a man for shit.
8:26
Sorry, are we allowed to curse?
8:27
I don't need a man for anything.
8:29
If I see something and I want it, I will make it mine.
8:31
That was the 16-year-old you, by the way.
8:33
Yeah.
8:34
But 16-year-old me, I missed out on my youth.
8:37
I missed out on my childhood.
8:39
I did not have opportunities because I was in fight or flight survival mode.
8:44
But I still reflect on what would it have been like if I was in a room full of people that I could just organically be a kid again and be giddy and silly and jump on my bed and listen to music and...
8:58
you know, eat pizza at whatever time and just be silly and be authentically me.
9:05
that's beautiful um you saw me tap my heart and i just i remember like only one time where i um jumping on a bed and i used to watch popeye the popeye the sailor man and i used to eat crackers because we were so poor we didn't have anything and i would eat crackers and i would just pretend like they were spinach and i would jump on my mother's bed and my mother my stepfather slept separately that's a whole other story and then she caught me and whooped me
9:31
Not whooped and beat me.
9:33
So being a kid again, you just absolutely said exactly what.
9:37
So we should do an event where it's, let's just be a kid again.
9:41
Let's bring out our kid.
9:43
I love that.
9:44
I'm feeling like I should talk about gratitude because that's literally what's, I'm grateful for all of that.
9:50
And you also talked a little bit about regret.
9:53
You said you have no regrets.
9:55
I have a lot of regrets.
9:57
I have a ton of them.
9:58
But, you know, they say the youth is wasted on the youth.
10:01
And I think about what I would have done differently.
10:04
And I get it that everything happens for you when it's supposed to happen for you, but there's certain decisions that I made that I should have made sooner.
10:12
And like quitting drinking.
10:14
Or never made them at all.
10:16
It depends on where you are.
10:19
Yeah, I love the way you articulate this stuff.
10:21
So you say you could be grateful for someone's place in your story without giving them permanent access to your future.
10:28
Great line.
10:29
What does it look like on a Tuesday with a real person and a real conversation?
10:35
I think it's safe to say.
10:37
The people that have the opportunity, and I don't mean it like that.
10:41
It's probably a bad way to say it.
10:42
But the people that are in my ecosystem or have access to me, I'll provide them as much as I can to see them succeed.
10:50
There are those people in your life that you're doing really well, and they're like, well, that should have been me.
10:56
That should have been me.
10:57
That was my opportunity.
10:59
And then you have the people in your life that really want to see you do well.
11:04
I love watching the people that I know do well.
11:09
That gives me joy when we talk about peace.
11:11
It gives me an overwhelming feeling.
11:14
But just to the same point, people, when we're talking about access, when they are going through a down cycle or they are stuck in turmoil, right?
11:25
they will also reach out to me and say, I'm stuck.
11:28
And I need to lean in.
11:30
That's really how I explain it.
11:31
They lean in.
11:32
And I love those people just as much when they're on their way down.
11:37
Because I always say it's not, it's seasons, right?
11:40
We've talked about seasons, but sometimes it's the comeback thing.
11:43
that's really about where they're going, not what they've already accomplished.
11:47
It's their next journey.
11:48
You know, you can't always look at everything in your life like, you know, we sit here today and we're like, Kelly's great.
11:54
Yeah, I was on Kelly's show today.
11:56
But maybe this is like just the beginning, right?
11:58
And then when you're growing and then you go, hey,
12:02
That was pretty cool.
12:03
But now you're at this whole other place.
12:06
You're going to go through these cycles, right?
12:08
So having access or having access and people coming to me, even on a random Tuesday, for me, I need to know, can I trust you?
12:16
And can I trust you with my relationships?
12:18
And there's a friend of mine, his name is Paul Cook, and he spoke at one of my events.
12:23
And I use this quote often now because of him.
12:26
It says, every time I make a referral, it is a loan on my reputation.
12:31
Mm-hmm.
12:31
So when you look at having access to somebody like you with ecosystems of trusted professionals, and when I'm introduced to people, they trust me.
12:43
And that's important.
12:44
I was just going to ask you what the cover charge to stay in your ecosystem is.
12:48
You just answered trust.
12:49
If somebody violates that trust and it's a valid oops, what do they have to do to earn it back?
12:55
I'm dealing with that right now.
12:57
You have to understand is it intentional or not.
13:00
Sometimes it's the way that it is their fight or flight opportunity.
13:04
There you go.
13:05
So if you can look at somebody and say, I believe you have violated my trust or I've given you access and I'm not really comfortable with what you've done with it because it goes back to me.
13:19
Is it intentional or is it just the way that they operate?
13:23
And then you have to determine is that somebody that's creating enough value to then justify it?
13:28
Wait, wait, wait.
13:29
I want to stop there.
13:29
Isn't intentional and the way they operate the same thing?
13:32
Not always necessarily.
13:34
There's intentional.
13:35
I intentionally stole your book.
13:38
Or I thought it would be okay if I borrowed it and brought it back next week.
13:42
I didn't think there was harm in what I was doing.
13:45
Yeah.
13:46
What do they say?
13:48
Hell is paved with good intentions.
13:50
And we judge others on their outcomes, on their actions, and
13:56
and us on our intentions.
13:58
You're a special kind of, I think they have a sociopath if you're intentionally out hurting people.
14:02
And there are people like that.
14:04
I don't think anybody has intention, but you can have the best intentions and still hurt people's feelings.
14:10
I have a different spin on this.
14:12
I trust myself and my relationships enough that if I make a referral and someone drops it, it's no reflection on me, but I won't make that referral again.
14:22
I'm dealing with it right now.
14:24
I mean, we were just talking.
14:25
I'm sure you probably also know Justin Colby.
14:27
Justin, myself, Sean French, a bunch of us were in conversation, and there is somebody that we all have a relationship with, and it came up in conversation, the level of discomfort that some people felt around this particular person.
14:41
And once you get started, sometimes you think it's you, right?
14:45
It might be, is there something about this person that doesn't sit well with me?
14:49
And then you have to reflect, is it a me thing?
14:51
Or is everybody else feeling it too?
14:54
So, you know, there's jealousy in business, right?
14:57
Not that I'm jealous of anybody, but sometimes it's jealousy or positioning or, again, we use the words, you know, relationships and relationship capital.
15:06
Does somebody have something I want?
15:10
kind of have to sit back and reflect a little bit.
15:12
So when this particular person we all know, I said, well, I think I was feeling something, but now that there's, you know, many of us that are feeling this, and I did, I had to confront somebody in reference to their behavior and see.
15:27
And their response, if somebody confronted me on my behavior,
15:33
I admit I am a lot to handle, but I would acknowledge and accept how they feel.
15:40
And, you know, because it's like I would never want to offend anybody.
15:45
But I'm also not defensive.
15:48
I'm open to listening.
15:49
So when somebody gets defensive about their actions, I think it has a lot to say about who they are.
15:54
When somebody gets defensive about their actions, bam, we can end the show right there.
16:00
That is literally, that's the victim.
16:02
That's the not wanting to be accountable.
16:03
And those people need to stay the hell away from me.
16:06
I'm sorry.
16:07
I am that blunt nowadays.
16:08
I can't handle it.
16:09
Isn't it fantastic?
16:11
My daughter just did this to me.
16:12
And I was like, what are you thinking?
16:15
Losers assign blame.
16:17
Winners fix problems.
16:19
Do not assign blame.
16:20
One finger pointing away, three pointing right back at you.
16:24
That drives me insane.
16:26
We haven't said the word toxic, and it's probably the most overused word on the internet.
16:30
When you walked away from a relationship that turned, what did it teach you about leading people?
16:35
It taught me more about myself.
16:38
Yeah, honestly.
16:40
So good.
16:41
Keep going.
16:42
What did it teach you about yourself?
16:44
That I had the courage to confront somebody in a very uncomfortable position because growth doesn't happen in a static environment, right?
16:53
So every time you're given the opportunity to place yourself in an uncomfortable position, regardless of where it is, whether or not it's...
17:05
You have to really think clearly about what the end result's going to be because it doesn't always manifest.
17:10
You know, we manifest, I should say, we manifest what it will look like.
17:14
The outcome does not always look like that.
17:16
It's not a straight line.
17:17
Yeah.
17:17
So, I mean, there's been several times where there's been intense toxic and toxicity in relationships inside ecosystems in business.
17:28
Yeah.
17:29
And what I feel is that emotionally, for a hot minute, I think it's safe to all say, like, we're a little butthurt.
17:36
We're like, oh, my God, that person doesn't like me.
17:39
Or this is happening.
17:41
But when you let the dust settle, the truth comes out.
17:44
So people don't want to wait.
17:45
Patience is amazing.
17:48
And business is not built overnight.
17:50
But your reputation will absolutely precede you if you allow things to fall in place.
17:56
The big thing with me, I'm not somebody that will allow myself to feed into toxicity.
18:03
If somebody called me and said, and this is one of my lines, not my story to tell.
18:08
So if somebody calls me about business, did you hear what's happening here?
18:12
And you should really be careful.
18:14
Watch who you're creating alignments with.
18:16
I've heard bad things.
18:18
And I get this consistently.
18:20
I heard bad things about this person.
18:22
And I'm just like, thank you.
18:24
Well, what do you think?
18:25
I know you're doing stuff with them.
18:26
I said, I think it's not my story to tell.
18:28
Yeah, you said a couple of names last night, and I was like, I just don't even say anything.
18:34
You're a smart person.
18:35
You'll figure it out.
18:36
People tell on themselves.
18:37
It's that simple.
18:38
The truth will come out.
18:39
If you sit back and watch people, they will tell, and their actions.
18:44
I watch.
18:45
I said it a thousand times.
18:46
Don't listen to the tongue in their mouth.
18:48
Watch the tongue on their feet.
18:49
Actions prove everybody what they're doing.
18:52
And I always laugh.
18:53
I think about people's bodies.
18:56
And we were with Sean French last night, and he said the defining moment of his success is when he decided to get in real physical shape.
19:03
Oh, he's lean.
19:03
Because you can't fake it.
19:05
That's the one thing you can't fake.
19:07
Ladies, you could only wear so much black.
19:11
God, the wisdom.
19:12
Our lives are so similar.
19:13
I didn't realize how we both grew up the same thing.
19:18
That was the first big lesson I learned is that I outgrew
19:23
Not only the house that I grew up in, the whole neighborhood, all of my friends.
19:26
Most of my friends are dead or in jail from high school.
19:29
So I got out of there quick.
19:31
And I keep changing rooms.
19:34
New levels, new devils, new challenges, new everything.
19:39
And every one of them was comfortable right before you make that change.
19:42
We talk about uncomfortable.
19:43
And to digress for just a second, I just said this in the last show, is we talk about being uncomfortable, and I talk about being in a situation where you're in the unknown, where you don't know what's going to happen next, then you proceed forward.
19:59
So I don't worry about uncomfortable or unfamiliar.
20:03
Yeah.
20:04
How about the unknown?
20:06
What is that when I say unknown?
20:08
What does it do?
20:09
I could tell.
20:09
You're getting all fired up.
20:11
It energizes you, doesn't it?
20:13
It does.
20:13
I think there's a certain level of energy.
20:17
But for me, when I'm going into an environment unknown, and this just happened, that's why I'm laughing.
20:24
I was just out in the Hamptons a few weeks ago.
20:26
And somebody said, Rhonda, why are we, because somebody was with me, why are we going here?
20:33
I don't know.
20:34
We're going to figure it out.
20:35
And here's what happens, at least for me.
20:38
You walk into these new rooms and you're like, oh, man.
20:41
I think I'd rather get the invitation and decline, right?
20:44
I say it that way.
20:46
But when you get the invitation and you accept and you think you are now, I've made it.
20:51
I have this invitation.
20:52
I'm going into this next room.
20:54
right, that you've been waiting for.
20:56
I still find 90% of the room are filled with imposters.
21:00
So when I walk in, I was like, oh my God.
21:03
So we walk into this room in the Hamptons and back to the unknown.
21:07
You don't know what to expect.
21:09
So for me, I look for people I call of like kind
21:14
Who locks eyes with me?
21:16
Where are the other aliens?
21:18
Who locks eyes with me?
21:19
And I was like, you're mine.
21:20
You're mine.
21:20
Let's do this together.
21:22
And then it's just creating partnerships.
21:24
One or two people.
21:25
I tell people, you can't go into a room of 100 new faces and expect to walk out with 100 new relationships.
21:33
Find two or three.
21:34
So in the world of the unknown, especially when it's uncomfortable because you're brand new in that environment, just figure out.
21:41
Who locks eyes with you first?
21:44
You know, are they your people?
21:45
And then go with it.
21:46
That's great advice.
21:49
I find that I just let them talk.
21:52
And I just ask, and I ask open-ended questions.
21:55
And I love this too.
21:56
People have not figured this out about me yet.
21:58
You did, but I actually just told you what I was doing because I'm like, we only have a few minutes.
22:02
So I was like, I'm not answering any of your questions just yet.
22:05
I want to know about you because I knew I had five minutes.
22:08
So I was like, I'll answer every question you want eventually.
22:11
But right now it's about you.
22:12
Tell me about you.
22:13
So a lot of times I turn it back on them because I'm saying, is this person deserving of my time?
22:18
Because I remember when we were younger, you'd walk in these rooms and I hope they like me.
22:23
Now you're thinking, at least I'm thinking, I hope I like them.
22:28
Yes.
22:29
Yes.
22:32
I know it sounds cliche, but it's like, I'll leave.
22:37
This is going to sound horrible, but I've gone into big rooms and I walk out drained and there wasn't a single person that was interesting, interested.
22:46
I call it, do they move like me?
22:49
I call it being an alien like me.
22:52
We're aliens.
22:53
I don't, all the therapy I've ever been, don't say that about yourself.
22:57
But I don't know, just having high standards, enforced boundaries, doing what you say you're going to do and treating people with kindness is,
23:08
And being loyal and accountable, it makes you an alien.
23:12
That makes me sad in this world.
23:14
I want to see everybody do well like you started, but I also don't want to see anybody suffer, especially suffering at their own peril, meaning they've created it.
23:23
Yeah.
23:24
We were talking about somebody before we hit record, and they're creating their own – when we've done it, we grew up in chaos.
23:31
We did.
23:31
We created that whole hamster wheel.
23:34
Yeah.
23:34
Jump off the hamster.
23:35
But here's the difference.
23:36
You and I, with the person we were talking about offline, will not accept the feedback.
23:43
We finally get smart enough that you don't keep, I used to beat my head against the wall.
23:46
Why can't you see this?
23:47
And now there's a time and a place.
23:50
And one day they'll be ready.
23:53
And then they'll be like, why didn't I see this?
23:57
When you have that aha moment, it's beautiful.
24:00
It's so beautiful.
24:01
So I know there's a moment that you'd outgrown a room.
24:04
So let's talk about it.
24:05
What was the actual moment?
24:07
Where were you?
24:07
Who was talking?
24:08
And what did you feel in your body?
24:11
And really pay attention.
24:12
This is, I've been working on this.
24:14
If you pay attention to when you make a good decision or a positive decision, that you feel it as a spot in your body.
24:22
And when you make a poor decision or a decision that doesn't get you towards your outcome, you feel it in a different place in your body.
24:28
Talk about that, but talk about the room and do the setup and then all the way through to how you have a discernment.
24:33
So I think where I'll start is,
24:37
As you grow, right?
24:38
This isn't me today, but I'll say this was the journey.
24:44
I'm from New York.
24:45
I operate on Long Island for the most part.
24:49
I have a successful business on Long Island.
24:52
I am a center of influence to a lot of people there.
24:56
And one day I sat back, and this was right around that pandemic moment for us.
25:03
So it's not that long ago.
25:05
And I said, if something happened,
25:07
and I was no longer available, who would remember me?
25:11
And that's really where I started.
25:13
And is it that I served for them?
25:16
Do they serve for me?
25:17
Where do these relationships go?
25:19
And when I finally sat back and analyzed all these people that I've known all these years in business, right?
25:26
You go into the same room.
25:28
We talked about the rooms.
25:29
The same rooms over and over.
25:31
Are they really my friends?
25:33
Mm-hmm.
25:34
Right?
25:34
Like, we think these people are your friends because you see them and you know their spouses, you know their children, you know who got married, who's having a baby, whatever their milestones may be.
25:46
Are they my friends?
25:48
Can I trust them?
25:49
So I got to this point where I just decided that I have too much value in what I had to offer.
25:59
I no longer wanted to give it to the people that were in my backyard.
26:05
And I looked, that was the first time I openly looked to grow and get out of that environment.
26:13
And I joined, that's when I joined my first large mastermind.
26:17
And when people say, oh, so it's another networking event.
26:21
I said, no, no, no.
26:22
Networking is, hi, my name is, we're having a great experience.
26:26
Call me if you need me.
26:27
Maybe we'll do coffee, you know, sometime next week.
26:30
Masterminding is when you're pooling people that have amazing skills and talents and stories and experiences, and we're sharing it.
26:38
And we're going deep.
26:39
So that was my first time I really then joined a mastermind.
26:43
And I have never looked back.
26:44
So when people reach out to me and say, I'm stuck, I need to grow.
26:48
My first thing is get uncomfortable, but you need to go find a new mastermind.
26:53
This is all making sense why you took over this mentor box and we're going to talk about it because it's a very awesome thing.
27:00
And your eyes just lit up when I sent it.
27:03
It makes me so happy for you.
27:04
It's my passion project.
27:04
I love it.
27:05
And we'll talk about it, but I'm still digging into the seasons and whatnot.
27:10
It makes me think of – I remember back in college and I joined a fraternity.
27:13
They're like, oh, you buy your friends.
27:16
And to this day, 30 plus years later, my closest friends are all my fraternity brothers.
27:22
So yeah, I bought my friends.
27:23
It worked.
27:24
Uh, some of my closest friends now are from masterminds.
27:27
Get in the rooms, get in the rooms of the people that are doing the thing that you want to do.
27:31
They're not judging you.
27:32
They're not in your backyard.
27:34
They're not spilling your beans.
27:35
They're not telling on you.
27:37
When you do business in your backyard, everybody knows everything.
27:43
If I had a moment of weakness in a local environment, it could put my business on fire.
27:51
I have a moment of weakness when I'm sitting in a mastermind, I've had a breakthrough.
27:57
Wow.
27:58
That's wild.
27:59
Does that make sense?
28:00
No, it makes sense.
28:01
So let's dig into that because there's a lot of people that listen to the show who have probably never been to a mastermind.
28:05
I don't know what it's like.
28:07
So let's try to figure out one.
28:09
You admitted you didn't listen to my speech the last time we shared a stage.
28:14
And I talked a lot.
28:15
I adjusted my normal speech.
28:18
I talked a lot about...
28:19
therapy and vulnerability and how the ceiling of your business is to the is is directly proportioned to the healing that you're going to do of your childhood core wounds yeah because that felt like what that room needed to hear and everybody was locked in on me and i'm like whoa it was the first time i really gave that well you're speaking truth
28:41
Well, it was being real vulnerable.
28:43
And it was very big truth.
28:46
And I think everybody could see it.
28:48
And so that's like what you get at a mastermind.
28:51
That's the vulnerability.
28:52
And it brought everybody to me.
28:55
So do you have a case that you can share with people where it backs up what you just said?
29:03
Where you were vulnerable and it actually, because remember, we were kids.
29:07
If you were vulnerable, remember what the parents say?
29:10
I'll give you something to cry about.
29:11
Yeah.
29:12
I didn't cry for 50 or for 45 years.
29:16
Mm-hmm.
29:19
because of the weakness.
29:20
Now I cry because I'm driving to the gym in my fricking brand new Cadillac Escalade and I'm happy.
29:27
It's a different, yeah, it's a different emotion.
29:29
But to your point, you know, what does that feel like?
29:32
And where are the stories?
29:34
You know, when I got into the mastermind, it doesn't happen right away.
29:38
You're not that person who walks in for the first time and you're like, oh, let me pour out, you know, everything that's happening.
29:46
But the first thing for me that happened in those rooms were people that I respected and admired.
29:52
Because we are still in a world where people –
29:56
judge people based upon the size of their assets in their company, right?
30:01
So do we respect the person who is a solopreneur as much as we respect the person who's running a hundred million dollar operation?
30:09
So generally we tend to want to lean and give more respect to somebody who's built something greater than what we could have built on our own, right?
30:16
So it starts there.
30:18
When you walk into some of these rooms, the idea is to not know who they are and just listen to their stories.
30:25
They're not labeled.
30:27
They're not by title.
30:29
It's Kelly.
30:30
It's Steven.
30:32
It's Tanya.
30:33
It's whoever else could be in that room showing up with no label and no identity.
30:40
So the first thing I learned was that when I started walking into these rooms, people were sharing things openly in our private table community.
30:52
And it wasn't until after I was like, wow.
30:56
I had no idea that this was so deep.
30:59
And then, again, you start positioning yourself for how comfortable I am to share about myself.
31:06
And then when we go into these meetings, the big thing for me, which is no secret to a lot of people that know me, I am, shocker, I'm the alpha in my family.
31:17
I have five kids.
31:18
My husband, when we were having our kids, I was like...
31:22
I want you to stay home.
31:23
I want you to be the best dad.
31:25
You are going to do PTA and all the sports, and you're going to do all those things.
31:30
You're going to do bake sale, right?
31:32
You're going to do all these things.
31:34
I'm going to go out and do me because that's what's best for our family.
31:38
And when you go into some of these rooms, it's still not traditional.
31:43
The role that my husband and I play in modern day America, you don't hear about it often.
31:49
And so for me, as our kids got older, it was really important for me that my husband found purpose.
31:56
Because when the kids get older, you lose that purpose because he's no longer driving them to sports and no longer doing bake sales and providing.
32:05
So going into some of these rooms was helpful to determining how to create new balance, new alignment in my relationships and make sure that like my home where I put my head is safe.
32:17
And listening to the stories of other people and then asking them, how did you do this?
32:21
What was it like for you?
32:23
You just alluded to what I look for in success, someone that's willing to pay it forward, vulnerable and kind.
32:33
These are all things that I think success looks like.
32:36
It isn't the person that's running the $100 million company, it isn't the solopreneur.
32:41
Are they kind?
32:42
Are they in their purpose?
32:45
Are they enjoy?
32:47
And are they living in alignment?
32:49
And then I want you in my life.
32:51
I don't care what you're doing.
32:52
You could be a stay-at-home mom or stay-at-home dad.
32:56
And I'm all for it.
32:58
So I love people living in their authentic selves.
33:02
We keep talking about seasons, and I want to put a bow in this thing, because how do you tell the difference between a season ending and quitting too early?
33:09
Yeah.
33:10
That's a good one.
33:11
Right.
33:12
I think that you have to know personally whether or not you're going to be willing to put up the fight.
33:18
You know, I have even my own stories where I've made my own mistakes.
33:23
And I say to myself, is there a bigger purpose?
33:26
And I'm just not thinking about it yet.
33:29
So sometimes you look at something as a lost leader, right?
33:34
That season, you know, and it could be for business.
33:36
It could be for relationships.
33:38
You have to figure out, I think it's an internal more than anything else, but you have to then be able to be willing to live with your decision.
33:48
You can't go back and change it, but you have to know, do you still have heart?
33:53
So I think if the season, to your point, if that season's over, you know,
33:58
You already emotionally have disconnected and detached, and you are ready to move on.
34:05
Clean break.
34:06
When you are trying to figure out if you've given up too soon, it's because there's still something there that's holding you, and you're right there.
34:14
You just haven't figured it out yet.
34:16
Do you ever figure out if that's just your loyalty from your childhood?
34:22
Because I find myself staying too long in almost every situation.
34:26
It could be business.
34:27
I wait too long to separate people from my company because I just, I want to believe in everybody.
34:35
So it's a blind loyalty that nobody gives me back and I just find myself, I almost never quit too early.
34:43
But you know what?
34:43
I think it goes back to what I was saying before.
34:47
And I treat a lot of my decisions.
34:48
I've had to lay off and terminate a lot of people over the years.
34:54
And it goes back to the same thing.
34:55
You know, if you sit down and you think about it, what was their purpose?
34:59
And if they're no longer serving the purpose, it's no longer about them.
35:03
It's about you.
35:04
Yeah, that hurts my heart, but I hear you.
35:08
What's the first sign that environment has stopped growing you, the early one before it gets so loud and obvious?
35:15
For me, it was boredom.
35:19
I don't know why I'm laughing.
35:20
You know what?
35:22
I do have to say something.
35:23
I'm laughing more today because I think I'm in my child.
35:27
I'm laughing a lot more today than I normally do.
35:30
And I'm just, I'm in such peace today.
35:32
I don't know what it is.
35:33
Yesterday was so bad.
35:35
And I'm like, yesterday's history.
35:36
I brought you the best gift ever.
35:38
It was very, it was the best part of yesterday was meeting up with all you guys and seeing and having a talk because I'm not going to name it, but the gift was a very dear friend of mine.
35:50
And what makes me most proud about him is that,
35:53
I sat him down about four years ago in my backyard and by his house.
35:57
And I told him to quit fucking around.
36:00
I said he'd shut down the show.
36:03
And I said, nonsense, get back into it.
36:05
And he listened and look at him now.
36:08
And I couldn't be more proud.
36:09
And he sent me a message at 5 a.m. And I sent him a message at 5 a.m. And he's like, of course you're up.
36:13
And I was like, yeah, of course.
36:15
So I just pay it forward, man.
36:17
We're not here for a long time.
36:19
So be kind.
36:21
Let's talk about MentorBox.
36:22
What is it?
36:24
I love MentorBox.
36:26
I love it too.
36:27
I've never heard of anything like it.
36:28
You were trying to tell me, you were spinning me and telling me, people are saying it's this.
36:33
And I'm like, no, I love it.
36:35
We are in what I refer to as a trust recession.
36:38
It goes back to the imposters, the person who is selling peptides but isn't on them.
36:44
The person who is, think about the person who is selling peptides
36:48
programs on OPM, other people's money, right?
36:52
You know, real estate programs, but they've never completed their own transaction.
36:58
They got real good at regurgitating content that was never theirs.
37:02
There's no loyalty.
37:03
There's no sense of accomplishment, but they're really good at putting the offer out there.
37:09
So for me, there's all these people and you and I know a bunch of them.
37:14
they're just not authentic.
37:16
And we go back to saying this all the time, like how could you have been so blind?
37:20
I get phone calls from people and guess who's in trouble?
37:24
How do you mean they're in trouble?
37:25
I just saw them, you know, they have everything, right?
37:28
We think about looking at social media as a snapshot of what somebody's reality looks like versus the fact that they're highlighting the most important part of their day to create the illusion that they are amazing.
37:41
And I got to this point where I got so annoyed.
37:45
And I was working with a company called Omni.
37:48
I'm still working with them, Omni Retail Enterprises.
37:51
And one of Omni's companies is a pre-existing company called MentorBox.
37:58
And it was originally formed in 2016 by somebody that we all know.
38:03
I don't have to get into that story.
38:05
Which, by the way, hold on.
38:07
That is someone that was living out of alignment.
38:10
And if you watch them on social media, they look like they were killing it.
38:15
Yep.
38:16
And the truth was, behind the scenes, there were some challenges.
38:19
And when there was a little financial disruption, the company got itself into trouble.
38:25
And lo and behold, MentorBox was part of a, I don't want to use the word roll-up or acquisition, but my client was able to take it over.
38:33
And given the opportunity, I was able to see MentorBox.
38:37
And I said, can I have this project?
38:39
Yes.
38:40
And he looked at me, he's like, I don't really know what that means.
38:43
I said, I think our timing is perfect.
38:48
I have a message.
38:49
And he says, well, give me a business plan.
38:52
And for those that know me, it wasn't, you know, putting something into a little MacBook.
38:57
I literally went to the store with...
38:59
big oak tag, right?
39:01
And big, thick markers.
39:03
And I'm drawing everything and they're all over my office.
39:06
I still have them, they're all over the office.
39:08
Like 30 day plan, 60 day plan, who we hire, who we recruit, how we, you know.
39:13
But it was all on different pieces of paper, these big pieces of paper.
39:17
And I took snapshots and I said, this is my business plan.
39:20
And he's like, ah, not what I was expecting, but okay, let's talk about it.
39:24
So the mission that I brought forward
39:27
which is what we are now enacting right now, is to create the first of its kind trust platform of fully vetted mentors in the form of office hours.
39:38
So now we are talking about growth, development, leadership, business, business services, accounting, relationships, health and wellness.
39:48
It goes on and on.
39:49
Don't point at me.
39:51
we go on and on.
39:52
So the idea is if you want to learn something, we're so our natural reaction is to go to YouTube or Instagram, tick tock and grab a couple of seconds of content.
40:04
Isn't that scary?
40:05
It is.
40:06
But now that's your mentor.
40:10
Did you just tell me you learned this on a 45 second, you know, um, reel?
40:16
Wait, take it even further.
40:18
Can we trust?
40:19
We've learned through the pandemic.
40:21
We cannot trust social media.
40:22
So do not.
40:24
It's bought and paid for.
40:25
It is.
40:26
So there is no way that you should be getting your information from these platforms.
40:30
And I say this as politely as possible because we live off of the platforms.
40:33
But I can't sit here and be quiet.
40:35
We're looking right now in the last three episodes that we said peptides on are bombing because the people that control it.
40:45
give pay all the money.
40:46
And it's like, how is that fair and free?
40:49
So do not get your information from there.
40:51
Besides you're the product, because if you, once you go look there, then they're going to figure out how to market to you.
40:56
So do not get your information.
40:58
I just love laughing.
40:59
Cause I just, I got a, uh,
41:01
So I own a cybersecurity company, obviously, and I'll be the mentor for cybersecurity because people need to understand the new scams are wild.
41:09
It's coming up.
41:09
Yes, they are.
41:10
And I will show them how to protect that.
41:13
But we had a new billing platform come out, and I had one of my longest customers message me, we're uncomfortable with that because we researched it on YouTube.
41:23
I said, so you're uncomfortable.
41:24
You're uncomfortable.
41:25
Your cybersecurity company that protects your business is going to send you to a malicious.
41:32
Yeah.
41:32
So welcome to mentor box.
41:35
Yes.
41:36
Yes.
41:36
So keep going.
41:36
Sorry.
41:37
So no.
41:37
So the idea is that a subscriber comes in, they get access to the platform.
41:43
They get to see the profiles for every section that's inside the platform, the profiles of the mentors, real vetted industry professionals with stories and experience and years of ups and downs and challenges and all the things that a mentor is meant to have.
42:03
And then they have office hours.
42:06
So now somebody comes in as a subscriber at any day of the week, they can look at all of the office hours.
42:12
And just like jumping into a Zoom meeting, they have access.
42:16
Because one of the big things, if you listen, is that people have made themselves available on social media, but they have not made themselves available for real human connection and access.
42:28
There's a disconnect.
42:30
So the platform is positioned that if Kelly is speaking about cybersecurity, somebody wants to reach out to you, they can reach you through the platform, they can contact.
42:40
get into your office hour, you now have access to you during that period of time for the stories or experiences or challenges or what's happening next, education, that you would like to offer in that session.
42:56
And now somebody says...
42:58
How do I get in touch with Kelly?
42:59
Well, now you have this, again, I use the word access, you have this access point.
43:05
Hey, Kelly, my name is Rhonda.
43:07
I'm part of the MentorBox platform, and I was recently on your office hour where you were speaking about this.
43:13
I currently own five companies.
43:15
I'm looking to do a roll-up.
43:16
I'm not happy with my current cybersecurity business.
43:21
team platform, and I was wondering, how do I schedule a one-on-one with you?
43:27
So we're the platform.
43:29
We don't take any from the backside.
43:32
We're here for the people.
43:33
But what's also happening is that we are organically growing our own quote-unquote mastermind of just the mentors.
43:41
And part of that was what you've experienced last night.
43:44
You know, the big thing for me, somebody asked me on another interview, Steve Scoggins,
43:48
Um, he's like, what's your like, like, what's your no, like, you know, people want to come on as a mentor.
43:54
Like, what does that look like?
43:55
Oh, good question.
43:56
Right.
43:57
He's like, it's great that subscribers, right?
43:59
Subscribers can come in, you know, please subscribe.
44:01
Right.
44:01
You know, but the idea is how do you, how are you vetting your mentors?
44:06
And he got in.
44:07
So there's this, that's not very high.
44:10
I say that in tongue of cheek.
44:11
Steve is a good friend of mine.
44:12
He's amazing.
44:12
So, um, you know, so the first thing is, are you heart centered?
44:17
Oh, yeah.
44:18
I don't care if you are a mom and pop accounting firm that does 500 returns a year.
44:24
Are you a good person?
44:25
Oh, Stephen, we'll put you in for the podcasting.
44:29
Are you, he's in.
44:31
So are you, you know, who are you?
44:35
Are you heart centered?
44:36
Are you willing to share?
44:38
So I don't care about how big your operation is.
44:41
I don't care about how popular public opinion is about you.
44:45
I need to know who you are first.
44:47
Are you a good person?
44:48
Are you a good person?
44:49
Because again, I'm trusting you with my subscribers who I treat and will be treating all as my children, right?
44:57
So you're, you're now part of the family, right?
45:00
So we're the parents, they are the kids.
45:02
So I have to protect everybody on both sides of the platform.
45:06
That's number one.
45:07
And then we also have an alpha and a beta team, which nobody would know.
45:11
But behind the scenes, we have an entire team, an alpha team, that every time I bring somebody on board, they verify, vet, do a background check on everybody that is coming on platform to ensure that whatever their layer and level of expertise is in alignment with what they are about to teach.
45:30
Even if they're a great person and they've gotten that far, did you overextend your ability to?
45:37
Hence the trust recession.
45:38
Yeah.
45:39
So, you know, we've had to have those conversations like, hey, I know that what you're looking for.
45:44
I'm not a pipeline filler.
45:46
Right.
45:46
You know, I've had people call me, well, what's in it for me?
45:48
And what kind of business am I going to get from here?
45:51
I was like, oh, no, no.
45:52
Sorry.
45:53
Oh, I didn't even think about that.
45:54
That's so weird.
45:55
That's probably because I'm heart-centered.
45:57
All I want to do is help people.
45:58
Yeah.
45:58
I didn't even think about, oh, yeah, you know, I could probably get some cybersecurity business out of that.
46:02
Didn't even thought of me.
46:03
Yeah.
46:04
But the idea is, oh, well, how many clients do you think?
46:07
And who's the avatar?
46:08
And what's the age range?
46:09
And how much money are they making?
46:10
I was like, yeah, we may not be the right fit.
46:13
Yeah.
46:14
Did I not just get done telling you?
46:17
So again, everybody on platform is, they're just looking to share and help.
46:23
It starts with that heart-centered, give back to community first.
46:28
Everything else will fall into alignment.
46:30
And the subscribers will have their own little area where they can communicate with each other, right?
46:34
Yeah, it's open community.
46:36
The basic price model is $24 a month.
46:38
Oh.
46:38
Yeah.
46:39
So you get access to these mentors for $24.
46:43
Why not $25?
46:44
I'll say it like this.
46:46
I know what I get an hour for my private clients, okay?
46:51
Which I'm not going to share, but it's...
46:54
It's a couple bucks.
46:55
It's a few dollars.
46:56
But you get access to me and my office hour.
46:58
Yeah.
46:59
you get access to people that charge a lot of money for their time.
47:05
So when you think about somebody saying, hey, it also gives people, I feel like a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment, not only from the mentor side, but from a subscriber, because they get to be able to say,
47:17
hey, I just had this great experience.
47:19
Like think about the first time you met somebody that you really respected and admired.
47:24
Like you walked away.
47:25
I mean, I could tell you I had a meltdown the first time I met Gary Brecka.
47:30
I was like, oh my God.
47:32
Oh my God, why?
47:33
Because I respected him so much in his space, right?
47:37
So I was still a little kid, you know, when I get to meet him for the first time, that's how a lot of our subscribers will feel about our mentors because we're bringing on such amazing talent that I feel like they're going to have this sense of fulfillment and that they've arrived and that they are, I think that they're going to walk away feeling fulfilled with the community that's being built.
48:00
First of all, what's the website that they can go to?
48:03
So it should be getting ready to go live.
48:06
We're looking at right around October 1st.
48:09
So it's probably when this will air.
48:12
All of our social medias are up, MentorBox 2.0.
48:16
That's all of the new social tags.
48:18
And then MentorBox.com is the website.
48:22
And so that's 24.
48:24
Then we have one for 99 and one for 199.
48:27
That just gives you a different level to access.
48:29
And then with that also comes live events that we'll be producing.
48:33
When will the first one be?
48:35
We've already done two.
48:37
little FOMO.
48:38
So we've already created two.
48:41
Those were marketed more specifically to specific demographics to get feedback, almost like its own little alpha.
48:49
But those will be coming out shortly.
48:51
As people subscribe and they enroll, there'll be options.
48:54
We also will be heavily endorsing mentors that are also doing live events.
48:59
So it's not just always about us.
49:01
So if you are going and you're speaking on stage...
49:04
and you said, hey, I'm going to be in Detroit on this day with this event, we are here as a community to rally behind you and create as much support so that people have access to you during that period of time.
49:16
It's literally a mentor fraternity or sorority.
49:19
Yeah.
49:19
I don't want to look at it like that.
49:21
What is MentorBox going to do differently to make it easier for more accessible, more digestible for everybody who might be afraid to go into the rooms?
49:34
Oh, I love that.
49:35
You know, there's all different kinds of people in, you know, in the world.
49:39
Some people are introverts, some are extroverts.
49:42
Some people want all the attention, right?
49:44
So everybody's a little different.
49:48
And I think the big thing with MentorBox is that you get to authentically show up as you.
49:54
And you will start to find your tribe.
49:57
As the system grows and as the platform grows and as we add more mentors and as mentors
50:02
People on platform get to see what's happening.
50:05
Also keeping in mind we have an entire back-end team that's there to support the subscriber, maintain engagement.
50:14
We have not activated it yet, but we do have an entire gamification.
50:18
So get on board.
50:20
Win Kelly's book.
50:23
right?
50:23
Log into five, you know, five different office hours and have a chance to win tickets to go to an event.
50:30
So our idea is to keep people moving, to keep people engaged, to position questions to make people think.
50:39
What we're trying to do is get people who...
50:43
To our point, sometimes it's about not wanting to get into a room.
50:47
Sometimes they don't have access to a room.
50:50
They are just logistically not in a place where they can access the kinds of rooms that you and I are accustomed to being in.
50:59
And they also financially cannot be in some of those rooms.
51:02
So we are a great alternative for that because we're bringing the same level of talent right into their living room.
51:10
Rhonda, I'm going to summarize it in reverse.
51:12
It's for everybody that's not an asshole.
51:16
Yeah.
51:16
Literally.
51:17
I love it.
51:17
And here's the best part about it.
51:18
You can take your level of comfortability.
51:21
You can be all in and go to everything and comment and go, or you could just be a creeper and just watch and take in things.
51:32
So I love it.
51:33
I can't wait to be a part of it.
51:35
It'll be in the show notes, but...
51:38
I am still stuck on something you said early on, and it was a trust recession.
51:43
I love that because we are, and it's not just misalignment in people's words to their actions.
51:51
It is corporate America.
51:54
It is the government.
51:56
It is AI.
51:58
It's everything.
51:59
How many, I literally tell people,
52:03
Don't buy AI.
52:04
All our customers, we say, do not buy AI.
52:06
Come to us and we will help you.
52:09
Because there's so much misinformation and BS.
52:14
You go buy an application, it works 50% of the time.
52:19
And that erodes trust.
52:21
And then you go to try to cancel it, and you can't.
52:26
So what do you have to say about, go deeper into the trust recession.
52:30
What's Rhonda Klitsch's definition of that?
52:34
I think for me, I'm tired of being violated and wasting my time on people that really have no value in my life.
52:41
I want to, Lord, I'm so sorry.
52:42
Was that bad?
52:43
It's just true.
52:43
bomb right here let me just light up light a match and throw a gas no um you know what that's what comes with age and i appreciate it i love that i just um and why do we just want to people pleasers and they're like oh my god i don't want to hurt their feelings so let me get this straight you're gonna hurt your own feelings to not hurt somebody that shouldn't be in your life yeah
53:05
Explain, make that make sense, Rhonda.
53:08
I just want a world where everybody feels safe and protected and that they're accessing information from people that have already been down the road that they want to travel.
53:21
That's it.
53:21
You know, I know this about you.
53:22
You love really hard.
53:26
Yeah.
53:26
And you also trust right off the gate.
53:30
And that is exactly how I am.
53:32
You have my, you don't have to earn my trust.
53:33
I give it to you.
53:34
Yeah.
53:34
Yeah.
53:35
And you don't have to earn my love.
53:36
I give it to you.
53:37
But you have to keep it.
53:39
And you can lose it really freaking fast.
53:42
Yeah.
53:42
And that's what I love about you.
53:43
Because we talked for five minutes, shared a stage.
53:46
You disappeared.
53:47
And then we've kept in touch ever since.
53:49
And then I'm like, Ron, and I wouldn't.
53:51
You were like, let's just do remote podcast.
53:52
I'm like, nope.
53:53
I want you in person.
53:55
And I'm so glad you did.
53:56
And I'm so glad you're here.
53:57
But.
53:58
It's you're a remarkable human being and I love you for it.
54:01
And I and I just can't wait to see what happens with this mentor box.
54:04
I want to dig into you a little bit more and how you got to be where you're because we just glossed over and this time went so fast.
54:11
I blinked and looked down.
54:13
What's been harder for you to build businesses or becoming the person capable of leading them?
54:18
I think building the business.
54:20
Really?
54:20
I think I am a born leader.
54:22
I think you can position me and place me almost in any environment.
54:27
And I don't mind expressing myself where most people want to sit and have no opinion.
54:33
You ever go into a room and nobody wants to be the first one to say what's up?
54:37
Well, I will say I'll be the first.
54:39
I'll be the first person.
54:39
I mean, listen, am I the only one here?
54:42
So I think for me, there's a balance because you need the experience in order to lean into leadership.
54:50
But I think not everybody is equipped for leadership positions.
54:55
man leaders lead literally i wrote that question i'm like thinking in my head i don't know i think mine is reverse i becoming the person i get it's getting rid of the bullshit blueprint i have in my head that the stinking thinking that i was nothing that has been hard yeah and and i tried to build it on a business and i built the business and guess what i still felt like nothing so i think for me it's reverse um
55:20
A lot less lately, but I've also talked about the ceiling of your business is your healing.
55:27
So where has your own capacity been the ceiling on something you were building?
55:32
Name the thing.
55:33
Like on a good or a bad?
55:35
Anything you want.
55:36
So true story, because I do speak about this.
55:39
Sometimes when you are on a high, you think you are unstoppable and that you have every answer.
55:46
This is why we named MentorBox.
55:49
You have all the answers.
55:50
And for me, I almost really could have put my family at risk because I took a very large sum of money,
56:03
that I had invested, put away, I'll just say, I had a large sum of money, and I went all in on real estate investments that I did not thoroughly vet.
56:15
We managed to get through it, but for me, I think that was a big eye-opening experience when we're speaking about, tell me something that happened, or what did you learn from it?
56:29
Again, we only share what we want people to know.
56:33
right?
56:34
The idea of mentorship is that I've been there.
56:37
Let me tell you the mistake I made.
56:39
And so now when I'm speaking with clients and they're looking to do certain levels of diversification or they're asking me questions about something in business or personal, I make it real clear that I can only bring them so far.
56:55
But again, these things come over time.
56:57
But I almost put my family at a really big risk position.
57:01
That's going to set up this next question perfectly.
57:03
When does perseverance stop being a strength and start being stubbornness?
57:08
It's hard to say.
57:10
Some people rebound really quickly, and they're just like, oh, my God.
57:14
I think for me, I had to forgive myself.
57:17
And as soon as I gave myself permission to say, I did it, I tried it, I explored, it no longer held me back.
57:25
I just looked at things differently.
57:28
So I think for everybody, it's going to be a little bit different.
57:31
But in order for you to take the next steps, you have to have accountability for where you just traveled.
57:37
Accountability.
57:39
When I talked about the trust recession, and I brought up the government, and I'm not trying to get on this conspiracy theory, but...
57:46
you know, when COVID happened, I mean, how can you trust the government when like that?
57:51
And it's like, we have no accountability.
57:53
You look at Paul Pelosi, that is what, 40th drunk drive-in and no accountability.
57:59
Listen, I'll be the first to say I'm an anti-vaxxer, you know?
58:02
And I was down in Florida all the time.
58:05
It was great.
58:06
New York, because we were, you know, we were all shut down.
58:09
I used to come down here to Florida.
58:11
I built a house during the pandemic.
58:14
It was New York, California, and Michigan.
58:17
And then Minnesota.
58:19
Those were the worst states.
58:20
And I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
58:23
It was insane.
58:24
But there's just zero accountability.
58:26
These politicians, technology exists today to get all of these people.
58:34
bought and paid for politicians out and it's coming.
58:36
It's coming.
58:37
And I can't wait for it.
58:38
So I want to end with one thing because I, I want your opinion on this.
58:42
What does harder than life mean to you today?
58:45
You know, that's a great question.
58:46
And I think what happens is that when we're in the moment and we're living it, nothing is harder than doing and being present in life.
58:57
When we're sitting there, whether it's a good day or a bad day, I think there's so much, especially when you hear the words harder than life, right?
59:04
And think about all the mental health.
59:06
Like, what does that look like?
59:08
So I think for harder than life, life is not supposed to be,
59:13
beautiful every day, right?
59:15
There's challenges and there's opportunities and there's experiences.
59:20
So for me, you know, harder than life for me is nothing is going to be as hard as where we are right now.
59:27
That's beautiful.
59:29
I basically think of a memento mori, you know, we're all going to die and we're all worried about what somebody thinking about me and they're not even thinking about you.
59:36
They're thinking about them own self.
59:37
So we got to get a rapid fire loyalty or growth.
59:41
Pick one.
59:42
Loyalty.
59:44
One word for who you were 10 years ago.
59:47
Ambitious.
59:48
Best advice you've ever got for free.
59:51
Build your tribe.
59:52
Worst advice you ever paid for and how much did it cost?
59:57
Trust me.
1:00:00
Sorry.
1:00:01
I'm laughing with you, not at you.
1:00:02
Cold outreach or warm introduction?
1:00:05
Warm introduction.
1:00:06
The room you are trying to get into next.
1:00:09
To be determined.
1:00:10
Finish it.
1:00:11
You do not need to work harder.
1:00:13
You need to.
1:00:14
Be smarter.
1:00:15
I feel like that's so cliche.
1:00:17
Oh, this has been awesome.
1:00:19
I, again, I'll please come back after we get MentorBox up and banging through and let's dig more into this is beautiful.
1:00:28
Guys, if this show hit you, share it with somebody who's stuck.
1:00:33
Rhonda's very authentic.
1:00:34
And if you're even thinking about trying to find a tribe,
1:00:38
look into this mentor box guys i'm going to be a part of it i got some dear friends steven scoggins uh sean french ronda a lot of really good people that i would um that i call moving friends that would show up and help me move in a second that are true authentic good people um until next week be harder than life
1:00:58
Please rate and share this podcast.
1:01:00
I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters.
1:01:04
Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity.
1:01:15
Visit TrustNTM.com for more info.
1:01:18
Until next week, be harder than life.