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578. Finding Common Ground in Divisive Times (rerun) · Daily Influence

• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the daily influence where our mission is to deliver a daily dose of positive influence that can uplift you personally or be shared within your sphere of influence.
• 0:20
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• 0:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey everybody, Brian Smith here with the I'm team series and your daily influence today, I'm going to be talking about finding common ground during divisive times and as well unless you live in a hole, you are aware of these divisive times as we get closer and closer to the election.
• 1:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, you can see it manifesting in itself in social media.
• 1:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: at work, even in public how the division between us and them is just at a really high server.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: So how can you find common ground?
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it too late to find common ground?
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or can we prepare ourselves for every future election cycle?
• 1:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you know that's just the thing is you can never be too prepared.
• 1:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's never too late to check yourself and try to improve what your behavior is in these areas of influence.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they are areas of influence.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the first thing is that most of these divisive conversations start with a reaction.
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody makes a post.
• 1:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody makes a statement and we just react emotionally.
• 1:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if we can remember that conversations that have to do,
• 1:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: with politics are going to be emotional and if we can know that going in and tell ourselves that we're going to take that step back that we are going to try to be a little bit more open-minded.
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't have to like it.
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Look, we live in a free society.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: The people that don't agree with us still get their say.
• 2:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: They still have that opportunity.
• 2:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you think they don't, then you don't agree what freedom is.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't really understand what freedom is then.
• 2:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: what we can do as leaders and all of us can be leaders is lead by example.
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: What I mean by that is you can create that positive ripple effect by not leaning into your emotion, but listening, asking questions.
• 2:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: really trying to drill down through to the root of what first of all is upsetting you in seconds understanding why people might make the posts that they do.
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Go into that knowing that they may be making that post from an emotional perspective, a emotional point of view.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the best way I can think of to organize that is actually setting very intentional goals about how I will dialogue in these environments, and I do that by being smart about being specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.
• 3:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: What does that mean?
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: It means, you know, asking good questions, not frivolous questions, not emotional questions.
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's trying to stay objective with those questions, trying to gain an understanding as to their perspective, what context are they coming from?
• 3:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Providing facts that are contextual, not soundbites.
• 3:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: providing measurements that aren't percentages, but actually real data, not data that can mislead or cause misperception, which oftentimes percentages can do.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Highlight how taking this approach can be beneficial to everybody.
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: because it does lead to more productive and meaningful conversations even when those topics are challenging.
• 4:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: The more you do that, the more you get that ripple effect of positive influence on those around you as they see you behave this way and they see the outcomes and they may not like emotionally what they see but what they will understand is that you are doing it in a way that's
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the foundation of all this is having empathy for people and their perspective in these divisive times understand that they have a reason that they're upset.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't know what that reason is.
• 4:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: It could be misinformation.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It could be emotional.
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it could be real.
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: you don't know the context of their emotion.
• 4:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't know the context of why they are where they are at this moment.
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: That means that getting to that context is important because you're not going to change them until you do.
• 4:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Until you understand what motivates somebody to be in the position they are to take the stance that they're taking, you can't possibly bully them into changing.
• 5:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't be little them into changing.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't name call them into changing.
• 5:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: It requires empathy towards where they're at and listening to where they're at and then being very specific and mindful about having points of agreement or disagreement.
• 5:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Giving them respect can earn that respect to listen to you when it's your term, trusting them to be honest with you will help them to trust you, to be honest with them, and it's a back and forth, especially when we're around friends and family, which these last few cycles of elections have seen some of the worst separation of close friends, family, very divisive, very emotional.
• 5:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sitting on this foundation of empathy, having compassion for their context, right or wrong, it's still their perception.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And until you can have this very good, very direct and very objective conversation with people, it's just emotions back and forth.
• 6:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we won't get anywhere and we will stay divided.
• 6:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we may remain divided after we've both listened.
• 6:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: We may each choose our side.
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: We may each choose our perception as the right perception.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: But at least we'll have a better understanding of truly where they sit, and that they sit there, contextually, on facts and have made a choice.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of being misled or misunderstood or
• 6:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: some other emotional aspect of their decision to be there.
• 6:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It will be one that they will be understanding of and so will you, which is really a better place to be.
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: So like I hope that today's talk will help you find some common ground during some of these divisive conversations, some of these things we see out and around us right now.
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I also hope that you will create better ripples in your areas of influence, more positive and responsible ripples.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Be a positive influence in your areas of influence.
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: In tomorrow, tune in to listen to Greg, talk with Jenny Lunquist about building your brand story.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: something a little bit more lighthearted than divisive times.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it's important building your brand story is your story.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can apply what we talked about today to that.
• 7:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think you should tune in.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Listen to Jenny and Greg have an amazing conversation.
• 7:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you have a good day.
• 7:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: We'll talk to you again soon.