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S1E2: The Return of the Moresbys · If You Please, Himan Brown’s Radio Mystery Theater

0:01
>> Welcome to "If You Please... Himan Brown's
0:02
Radio Mystery Theater."
0:04
On this series, we're offering re-broadcasts of a select group
0:07
of programs created by this legendary producer for CBS
0:11
between 1974 and 1982.
0:14
Brown reimagined radio drama for contemporary times.
0:18
Our new series offers some of these exciting works again.
0:22
Before the play, Commentator John Slaveney
0:25
shares details about the cast, the writer, and the plot.
0:28
Your job -- listen.
0:31
"If You Please..." s produced in loving memory
0:33
of Robert Isaacson.
0:35
♪♪
0:40
>> Hi, everyone. I'm John Slaveney.
0:44
I've been a fan of Himan Brown's "CBS Radio Mystery Theater"
0:47
for many years, and now I'm putting together
0:49
a complete new guide to this groundbreaking series.
0:52
We thought listeners new to the "RMT"
0:54
might like to know a little bit more about the show,
0:56
and about each of the episodes we're re-broadcasting here.
0:59
And here's program two.
1:01
On a cold, drizzly Monday in late November 1973,
1:05
Himan Brown gathered his actors to record
1:08
"The Return of the Moresbys," the episode that would air
1:11
as "CBS Radio Mystery Theater's" second installment
1:14
in early January 1974.
1:17
It starred Patrick O'Neal,
1:19
fresh from the Streisand/Redford hit "The Way We Were,"
1:22
which had premiered just weeks earlier in October.
1:25
O'Neal plays Los Angeles playboy Richard Moresby
1:29
who seduces and marries the wealthy Una Vandermeier
1:32
portrayed by an animated Marian Seldes.
1:36
Already a leading light on New York's theater stages,
1:39
Seldes would leave an outsize mark on the "Mystery Theater"
1:41
over the next nine years,
1:43
appearing in nearly 200 episodes
1:46
and drawing many young theater actors into Brown's orbit.
1:50
Also featured is Nick Pryor as a reporter,
1:52
alongside the marvelous character actor Danny Ocko,
1:55
who delivers a fairly sensitive reading
1:57
as Dr. Archibald Singh,
1:59
the East Indian founder of the cult-like
2:01
Temple of Meta Psychosis.
2:04
The story also highlights the decidedly Gothic strain
2:07
that would surface throughout the "Mystery Theater's" run,
2:10
where rational skepticism collides
2:12
with supernatural forces,
2:14
reflecting our society's abiding interest in cults.
2:18
O'Neal's hapless husband joins a long line
2:21
of cynical characters in horror fiction
2:23
whose disregard for spiritual realities results
2:26
in supernatural punishment.
2:28
It's a comeuppance that recalls the works
2:30
of Edgar Allan Poe and M.R. James, among others.
2:34
Henry Slesser adapted the script from his own short story,
2:37
first published in the January 1964 edition
2:40
of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine.
2:43
Critics found this tale a decided improvement
2:45
over the opener.
2:47
James Brown writing in the Los Angeles Times
2:49
declared the episode a gruesome delight,
2:52
calling it black comedy at its finest,
2:54
while also praising E.G. Marshall's hosting
2:57
as a marvelously spooky, sophisticated Igor at the opera.
3:02
Here, then, is the second episode
3:04
of the series, first airing January 7th, 1974,
3:07
"The Return of the Moresbys."
3:10
♪♪
3:15
>> The "CBS Radio Mystery Theater" presents...
3:19
[ Door opens, creaks ]
3:28
[ Ominous music playing ]
3:30
♪♪
3:36
Come in.
3:39
Welcome.
3:41
I am EG Marshall.
3:43
Welcome to the sound of Suspense,
3:46
the fear you can hear.
3:49
For the next 52 minutes,
3:51
we're going to take you into the world of mystery,
3:54
into the world of terrifying imagination.
3:58
The story you are going to hear concerns a question which
4:00
has been asked since the first men on earth
4:03
were born and died --
4:06
Is there a life after death?
4:10
Is there a way to return from the grave?
4:13
And if there is,
4:15
can we come back in the body of a living creature,
4:20
even one that has claws instead of fingernails?
4:24
Here is one chilling answer.
4:27
>> Dr. Singh, you have to tell me.
4:29
Could my wife have come back as a bird, a sparrow,
4:33
something like that? >> Well, your wife was
4:35
a rather big woman, Mr. Moresby, in a physical sense.
4:38
>> How about a snake? A seagull?
4:41
How about a cat, a great big fat cat?
4:44
A cat!
4:46
♪♪
4:52
>> Our mystery drama, "The Return of the Moresbys,"
4:56
was written especially for the "Radio Mystery Theater"
4:59
by Henry Slesser and stars Patrick O'Neal.
5:02
I'll be back shortly with act one.
5:05
♪♪
5:11
♪♪
5:16
Now here is act one.
5:18
Like all murder stories,
5:20
sooner or later it reaches the office of a daily newspaper.
5:24
[ Keys clacking ] [ Indistinct conversations ]
5:26
>> You wanted to see me, Chief?
5:27
>> You bet I want to see you, Prouty.
5:29
Come in and shut that door.
5:31
[ Door closes ]
5:33
>> I bet I know what it's about --
5:35
that story I filed on Richard Moresby, right?
5:37
>> I got a flash for you, Prouty.
5:39
This is a newspaper office, not a fiction magazine.
5:42
You take this story of yours and see if you can sell it
5:45
to Weirdo Digest or something,
5:48
but get it off my desk.
5:49
>> Now, wait a while, Max.
5:51
I know it's off-beat, but I thought I handled it
5:53
with a -- with a kind of a light touch.
5:55
>> Stories about murder can't be handled with a light touch,
5:59
not on this paper. >> But it's accurate.
6:01
I mean, this is exactly what the guy Moresby told me
6:04
just before he died. >> Well, he must have been
6:05
out of his head.
6:07
>> He asked for somebody to hear his story.
6:09
That's how I got to meet him.
6:11
I was at the hospital covering that subway accident.
6:13
>> Now, that story made sense to me.
6:16
Nothing but nice, clear facts.
6:18
But this nonsense...
6:19
>> Please. Let me tell you about this guy.
6:22
Maybe you'll change your mind.
6:24
>> Alright. What about him?
6:26
>> Well, for one thing, he was a real distinguished looking guy.
6:31
The only thing peculiar about him was his eyes.
6:33
>> His eyes? >> Yeah.
6:34
They were the palest blue eyes I ever saw on a man.
6:38
They weren't really blue at all.
6:40
They were -- They were like silver.
6:41
>> Big deal. So he had silver eyes.
6:44
>> And when he started to tell me about himself,
6:47
well, I just had to hear the whole story, Chief.
6:49
>> Yes, I was born in London... >> And you would have, too.
6:51
>> ...but my family moved to the States when I was young.
6:53
They didn't improve much on the climate when they did.
6:55
We lived in Vermont.
6:57
I don't think I was ever warm enough until the age of 24,
7:00
when I moved to Southern California.
7:02
I lived on beaches, a superb swimmer,
7:05
a superior surf boarder, and a terrible bum.
7:09
It was on the beach at Malibu that I met the woman
7:12
who was to become my wife.
7:14
Her name was Una.
7:15
She was as pale as a gardenia.
7:17
A gardenia with bones.
7:19
Una had more bones than any other woman I've ever met.
7:23
>> Lovely day, isn't it?
7:25
>> I beg your pardon?
7:27
>> I said it's a beautiful day.
7:29
I don't think I've ever seen the ocean look prettier.
7:32
>> Frankly, the Pacific always looked a little muddy to me.
7:34
>> [ Laughs ]
7:36
I wonder if that's what Balboa said when he first saw it.
7:39
>> Oh, he probably said, "What a great place for surfing."
7:42
>> Ah, I see you have a surfboard.
7:44
>> Yes, as a matter of fact, I think I see a wave that I like.
7:47
Will you excuse me?
7:48
>> I wish I had the nerve to try it.
7:51
>> Yeah, you really should. Well, bye now.
7:53
>> Maybe I'll ask my chauffeur to teach me.
7:57
>> I'm sorry. What did you say?
7:59
>> Charles, my chauffeur.
8:01
He's very good at sports.
8:03
>> Chau-- Ch-- Uh-huh.
8:05
[ Chuckles ] Uh, you know, come to think of it,
8:08
that wave doesn't look so good after all.
8:11
By the way, my name is Richard,
8:14
Richard Moresby.
8:15
>> How do you do? My name is Una.
8:18
♪♪
8:23
>> Una Vandermeier.
8:25
That was her name.
8:27
As soon as I realized that she was from
8:29
the Vandermeier family,
8:30
she didn't seem half as bony as she did before.
8:34
In fact, not only did I become accustomed to Una's appearance.
8:39
I was even able to tolerate her inane conversation.
8:42
>> Can't you just feel the mystery of the stars, Richard?
8:46
Sometimes I feel their vibrations
8:49
as if they're trying to communicate with me.
8:51
Do you ever feel that? >> Well, sometimes, I suppose.
8:55
>> I really think we must be one with the universe, don't you?
9:00
I really believe there's just one great universal soul.
9:05
and we're all part of it.
9:07
Don't you think so, too?
9:09
>> Yes, of course. Right on, as they say.
9:11
♪♪
9:16
You see what I mean?
9:18
She talked that way all the time,
9:21
from the first day of our honeymoon.
9:24
Well, it was a fine honeymoon just the same.
9:28
It lasted a whole year on the beaches of the Caribbean
9:32
and the French Riviera.
9:35
I got browner and browner.
9:38
Una got freckles.
9:40
Finally, we returned to our home in Los Angeles
9:43
and settled down to a quiet, comfortable marriage.
9:46
[ Sitar music playing ]
9:52
What on earth is that you're playing?
9:55
>> It's sitar music, darling.
9:58
Oh, it's just so spiritual.
10:00
>> What -- What made you buy the record?
10:02
>> Hmm? Oh, Dr. Singh recommended it.
10:05
>> Who? >> Dr. Singh.
10:08
At the Temple of Meta Psychosis. You know.
10:10
>> The temple of what? >> Meta Psychosis.
10:13
I told you about joining the temple last week.
10:16
Oh, Richard, sometimes I think you don't listen to me.
10:19
[ Music continues ]
10:23
>> Now, as you may know, Southern California
10:26
abounds in quasi-religious organizations.
10:29
And she'd gone through a number of them without discovering
10:32
the universal soul at any of their altars.
10:34
>> Darling, please come to one of Dr. Singh's lectures.
10:38
He's such a magnificent speaker.
10:40
He emits such...vibrations.
10:43
♪♪
10:49
>> And I went.
10:51
You see what an obliging husband I was?
10:54
And actually it turned out to be more interesting than I thought.
10:58
The temple itself was unpretentious,
11:00
and Dr. Singh was an impressive man.
11:06
And when he spoke, I realized
11:08
why his message had such appeal for Una --
11:10
because he preached a doctrine that combined eternal life
11:14
with a love of small animals.
11:16
>> The soul is immortal.
11:18
The soul cannot die.
11:21
The soul, upon leaving the body, must make its passage elsewhere.
11:25
There is a science called eschatology which deals with
11:29
the last four things -- death, judgment, heaven, and hell.
11:34
It is the most ancient of all sciences,
11:37
and from its wisdom has come the inescapable certainty
11:41
of the transmigration of souls.
11:43
>> Yeah, yeah, I know it's a bit weird,
11:45
but stay with it.
11:46
>> And where does this all go?
11:49
According to the wise men of all generations past,
11:53
the soul departs from the mouth of the dying.
11:56
It is consequently a small thing --
11:59
a bird, a snake, a mouse, a dove,
12:03
or a hawk, a dog, a cat, an insect,
12:07
for these small creations of God are empty vessels
12:11
placed upon earth for only one purpose --
12:15
to house the departing souls of humanity,
12:19
so that they need not wander forever in a trackless eternity.
12:22
>> Yeah, yeah. It's pure rot, of course.
12:25
But that's what the man said.
12:27
And Una sat there and believed every single word.
12:30
>> Oh, wasn't he marvelous, Richard?
12:33
Isn't it wonderful that the soul never dies,
12:37
that we can all come back as little animals?
12:40
>> I'm not sure I want to come back as an animal.
12:42
>> But you'd still be you, Richard.
12:44
Oh, don't you see? >> Hmm. Mnh-mnh.
12:47
Oh, by the way, what was that envelope
12:49
you handed Dr. Singh after the meeting?
12:52
>> The envelope?
12:53
Oh, that was my donation, of course.
12:55
>> Your donation to the temple? >> Yes.
12:57
To support the work of Dr. Singh.
12:59
To open other temples around the world.
13:02
>> Uh-huh. Well, um, how--
13:04
how much money was in the envelope?
13:06
>> Oh, what does it matter, Richard?
13:07
>> I'm just curious. >> $2,000.
13:09
>> Two-thou-- Two-- Una.
13:12
Una, you go to that temple once a week.
13:15
Do you always give that kind of donation?
13:17
>> Oh, it's all in a very good cause, Richard.
13:19
[ Dramatic music plays ]
13:23
>> Well, in an equally good cause --
13:26
that of finding out exactly how much of my wife's money
13:28
was supporting this nonsense --
13:31
I sneaked a look at Una's checkbook.
13:34
The answer astonished me.
13:37
Not only had my wife put more than $30,000
13:41
into Dr. Singh's collection plate.
13:43
She had also donated some $20,000 more
13:46
to various institutions for the care and feeding
13:48
of cats, dogs, and birds.
13:51
>> It was so kind of you
13:53
to honor us with a visit, Dr. Singh.
13:55
I know how terribly busy you are.
13:57
>> On the contrary.
13:59
You are kind to invite me to your lovely home.
14:02
>> [ Chuckles ]
14:03
Now, tell me, Dr. Singh,
14:06
what determines the kind of animal one becomes
14:09
when the soul escapes after death?
14:12
>> Uh, Mrs. Moresby, that is a question
14:15
which has baffled wise men for countless generations.
14:18
>> But isn't it possible to do, well, research?
14:22
>> Yes, Mrs. Moresby.
14:24
I don't doubt that we could find the answer
14:27
to such great questions
14:29
if only we had the proper resources.
14:32
But unfortunately, that would require money,
14:37
a great deal more money than the movement has at present.
14:40
>> Well, it seems to me you don't do badly.
14:42
[ Dramatic music plays ]
14:48
[ Door opens ] [ Footsteps approaching ]
14:50
Well, there you are.
14:53
>> Hello, Richard.
14:55
>> Where have you been all morning?
14:56
>> Right here in my little sewing room.
14:59
>> Don't tell me you were sewing.
15:01
>> Oh, don't be silly.
15:03
Actually, I've been composing something.
15:06
>> A letter? >> Oh, something more important
15:08
than that.
15:09
Richard, do you realize
15:11
that I have no last will and testament?
15:14
>> Well, why should you?
15:15
Healthy young chicken like you.
15:17
>> I can't call myself young anymore, Richard.
15:20
>> You'll always be young to me, darling.
15:22
>> Oh, that's very sweet.
15:24
But just the same, it's only practical to have a will.
15:28
Would you read it over, Richard, and see if it --
15:31
well, if it sounds legal enough
15:33
>> Certainly. Well, let's see now.
15:36
"I, Una Vandermeier Moresby,
15:38
a resident of the city of Los Angeles,
15:40
state of California, residing at 8 Sheridan Drive,
15:42
being over the age of 21
15:44
and of sound and disposing mind and memory --"
15:46
Darling, this is superb.
15:48
Where on earth did you get the language?
15:50
>> Well, to tell you the truth, I copied it out of Daddy's will.
15:52
>> The one that left you $10 million?
15:54
>> Yes. >> Well, I don't see
15:56
how you could go wrong.
15:57
Let's see now.
15:58
"Not acting under duress, menace, fraud,
16:01
or undue influence of any person whomsoever,
16:04
and therefore..."
16:06
Good Lord. Una.
16:09
>> What's the -- What is it? What --
16:10
>> You're -- You're not serious about this?
16:13
>> Oh, about making a will? Well, of course I am.
16:15
>> No, I mean this bequest to the temple of mumbo jumbo.
16:20
>> What's wrong with it? Now, listen, darling.
16:22
I told you how important Dr. Singh's work is,
16:25
but it requires money to carry it on,
16:28
tons of money.
16:30
So the least I can do is to help the poor man as much as I can.
16:34
>> But you're giving him 90% of your entire fortune.
16:37
>> Ah, you'll still have $1 million if I go first, Richard.
16:41
Isn't that enough? >> No, it isn't. I-I --
16:43
No, I mean the whole thing is ridiculous.
16:46
Don't you realize that man is a fraud, a charlatan?
16:50
>> What? >> Oh, for heaven's sake, Una,
16:52
open your eyes.
16:54
Don't you realize the simple truth?
16:56
Your money won't build any temples.
16:58
It's just going to line the pockets of that turbaned phony.
17:01
>> Richard, what a terrible thing to say.
17:05
Well, you told me you liked Dr. Singh,
17:08
that you were very impressed by his theory of transmigration.
17:11
>> Darling, I was only saying all that to please you.
17:14
But now I'm telling you that the only thing
17:16
Dr. Singh is planning to transmigrate
17:18
is your money into his savings account.
17:21
>> [ Gasps ] >> And frankly,
17:22
I'm not gonna let him do it.
17:24
>> Richard, what are you doing? [ Paper tearing]
17:26
You're tearing up my will! ef That's right.
17:28
>> How dare you do such a thing? It's my money,
17:30
and I'll do whatever I please with it.
17:31
>> Una, darling, I just want you
17:34
to have a chance to come to your senses.
17:35
>> Oh, there's nothing wrong with my senses.
17:38
I can see very clearly what the real trouble is.
17:41
If I didn't leave a will,
17:43
all my money would go to you, wouldn't it?
17:45
>> Well, naturally. I'm your husband.
17:46
You don't have any other relatives.
17:48
>> And that's why you're acting this way.
17:49
It's just plain and simple greed.
17:51
>> Una, listen to me -- >> No, it's alright.
17:53
It's alright. I'm glad you tore up
17:55
that will, Richard, because I realize now
17:58
that I was quite wrong.
17:59
>> Do you? ef Yes.
18:01
It's a mistake to leave only$9 million
18:04
of my money to the temple.
18:06
I'm going to leave all of it to Dr. Singh.
18:08
[ Dramatic music plays ]
18:13
>> When Una actually drafted that incredible document
18:17
and called our attorney for a Monday morning appointment,
18:21
I realized that I had to do something very drastic
18:24
before the weekend was over.
18:27
I had to kill my poor misguided wife.
18:31
I had to make her one with the universe.
18:36
♪♪
18:41
>> It's obvious that Mr. Moresby
18:43
is going to be a very reluctant murderer.
18:47
The question is,
18:49
will his reluctance get in the way of his efficiency?
18:54
We'll get the details when we return shortly with act two.
18:59
>> Like what you're hearing so far?
19:01
Are you curious about the history
19:03
behind radio programs just like this one,
19:05
and the dramatic genius who created them?
19:08
In the nine-part, award-winning documentary "Audio Maverick,"
19:11
we explore the golden age of radio
19:14
through the life of Himan Brown.
19:16
You'll hear the history of radio come to life as we travel,
19:19
from the birth of audio drama
19:21
to the programs that brought millions of families
19:23
into their living rooms every night.
19:26
"Audio Maverick" is available anywhere you get your podcasts.
19:31
[ Dramatic music plays]
19:33
♪♪
19:41
>> Now let's return to Richard Moresby.
19:44
In order to find him, we'll have to search the highway,
19:48
for Richard has taken his white Jaguar out for a spin.
19:52
But there he is now.
19:54
[ Engine humming ]
19:56
>> On Saturday morning, I took a little spin in my XKL
19:59
and did some thinking on the open road.
20:02
I didn't want to kill poor Una, of course.
20:05
The whole idea was repellent.
20:07
But on the other hand,
20:09
the thought of Dr. Singh spending the fortune
20:12
that was rightfully mine was even more abhorrent.
20:16
However, I decided I would make one more stab
20:20
at a reconciliation.
20:23
[ Sitar music playing ]
20:26
Darling, may I come in?
20:29
>> It's your living room, too.
20:31
>> [ Chuckles ] It doesn't feel like it.
20:34
As a matter of fact, I've felt like a stranger
20:36
in this house for the past two days.
20:38
>> I suppose that's my fault.
20:40
>> Well, you haven't been exactly cordial, have you?
20:43
>> I've hardly been home, Richard.
20:45
I spent all day yesterday at the temple,
20:47
and all morning at the pet Rest kennels.
20:50
>> And how are all the little souls doing?
20:53
>> [ Laughs ] You just won't stop being irreverent, will you?
20:57
It's been my money all along, hasn't it, Richard?
21:00
From the very beginning, you were attracted to my money.
21:03
>> Oh, now, darling, if you thought that,
21:05
you would never have married me. >> I didn't want to believe it.
21:07
I don't want to believe it now.
21:10
>> Well, now, how can I prove to you that you're mistaken?
21:14
>> Richard, you really want to prove it?
21:18
>> Of course. I'll do anything you say.
21:20
>> Alright.
21:22
Then I know exactly what you can do.
21:24
[ Sniffles ] You can let me leave my money
21:27
to Dr. Singh and the temple.
21:30
>> The whole $10 million? >> Yes.
21:32
Because that's the only way I'll know that it's me you love.
21:36
[ Dramatic music plays ]
21:42
>> Well, you can't say I didn't try.
21:45
But Una's decision now left me with absolutely no alternative.
21:50
I was still deeply unhappy about the necessity
21:52
of taking her life.
21:54
However, fate was kind to me that very afternoon.
22:02
>> Now, you're sure that you want me
22:04
to continue reading, Richard? >> Of course, darling.
22:07
>> Well, I'm sort of embarrassed about this part.
22:11
It's -- It's a paper that I wrote myself.
22:14
>> Oh, something you wrote? >> Yeah.
22:16
I wrote it this morning.
22:18
I was going to show it to Dr. Singh.
22:20
It's, um -- Well, it's a sort of a poem.
22:24
It's called "Death."
22:25
>> Snappy title.
22:27
>> I hope I can read my own handwriting.
22:29
[ Paper rustles ] [ Clears throat ]
22:31
"Death has become nothing to me.
22:36
Death holds no fear for me.
22:40
Come, death.
22:42
I welcome you.
22:44
Lead me to the woods, the waters, the air above the earth.
22:50
Come take me, death.
22:54
Your touch is kind."
22:57
[ Paper rustles ]
22:59
Richard?
23:02
Oh, Richard, why do you look like that?
23:04
Is it really that terrible? >> Oh, terrible?
23:07
Oh, no, no, my darling. It's -- It's beautiful.
23:10
>> Do you mean it? >> You must give it to me, Una.
23:12
I must have it. >> You like it that much?
23:15
>> Oh, yes, I certainly do. >> [ Chuckling ] Oh!
23:18
>> Well, I'll type it up for you, Richard.
23:20
>> No, no, no. I must have the original
23:22
Now, just the way you wrote it.
23:24
>> Oh, darling, I'm so flattered.
23:27
What will you do with it?
23:29
>> Oh, I'm gonna put it in a frame, of course.
23:32
And I know just where I'm going to hang it.
23:35
[ Dramatic music plays ]
23:37
♪♪
23:42
Yes, I could hardly believe my ears.
23:45
Una had written her own suicide note in her own handwriting.
23:50
It was truly karma at work.
23:53
Now there was no question of failure
23:56
and no longer any need for delay.
23:58
[ Silverware clinking ]
24:00
>> Oh, what a lovely idea this was, Richard.
24:04
Candlelight dinner for two.
24:06
>> Yes, yes. I thought you'd enjoy it.
24:08
>> And so sweet of you to handle the whole menu with Cook.
24:11
You spoil me shamefully.
24:14
[ Dramatic music plays ]
24:16
♪♪
24:21
>> And that night, I spoiled her just a bit more
24:24
by bringing hot cocoa to her in bed.
24:26
>> Oh! Oh, Richard, you shouldn't have bothered.
24:30
>> But I know how you like your hot cocoa before retiring, Una.
24:34
You can't get to sleep without it.
24:35
>> No, but Parker could have brought it to me.
24:37
>> Oh, no, this is something I had to do myself.
24:40
>> [ Chuckles ]
24:42
>> Drink it down now. >> Yes.
24:45
I'm drinking it.
24:47
>> Does it taste alright?
24:48
>> Oh, it tastes just fine.
24:51
[ Dramatic music plays ]
24:57
>> Now, that was very good news,
24:59
because I'd prepared the hot cocoa myself.
25:02
And I had no idea whether 25 melted sleeping pills
25:06
would seriously affect the flavor.
25:09
Finally, Una was all tucked in for the night.
25:12
I went into my study,
25:14
picked up the poem she had written for Dr. Singh,
25:17
and brought it to the bedroom.
25:19
I placed it carefully on the night table beside her.
25:22
Then I bent over my sleeping darling to see
25:25
if she was getting along alright.
25:27
She was very, very quiet.
25:30
And then a dreadful thing happened.
25:34
Una opened her eyes.
25:36
>> Oh, R-R-R-Richard.
25:40
Oh! Richard.
25:41
>> Hush, hush, darling. Now go -- go back to sleep.
25:44
>> Richard, I'm -- I'm sick.
25:47
>> No, no, no, no, my love.
25:48
No, no, no. You're only sleepy.
25:50
>> The cocoa tasted so strange.
25:54
I didn't want to upset you, Richard, but, oh, I'm sick.
25:58
>> No, you'll feel much better in the morning, Una
26:00
I promise you, tomorrow morning, you'll --
26:02
you'll be one with the universe.
26:05
>> Richard, that paper.
26:07
>> What paper, darling?
26:08
>> My -- It's my poem.
26:12
My -- My poem for Dr. Singh.
26:15
What's it doing there?
26:16
>> Well, I was just -- just reading it over, darling,
26:18
that's all, and -- >> And that bottle,
26:21
my sleeping pills.
26:24
Oh, it's -- it's empty.
26:27
The bottle is empty.
26:30
Oh, Richard!
26:32
Richard, what have you done?
26:36
>> Nothing, darling, nothing. Now, just go to sleep.
26:39
>> The cocoa -- you put sleeping pills in it.
26:43
All of them. >> Don't try to get up, Una.
26:46
Please. Now, don't. Don't, no, don't.
26:47
>> You're trying to kill me.
26:51
You're trying to murder me.
26:53
>> Now, for heaven's sake, Una,
26:55
stop saying things like that.
26:57
Do you want the servants to hear?
26:59
>> Help. Somebody help. >> Now, come on, lie down.
27:02
Lie down, Una, for heaven's sake!
27:03
Come on now. Lie -- Lie down.
27:05
>> Lie down. >> [ Gasping ]
27:06
>> There, there. That's -- That's better.
27:09
>> You won't get away with it.
27:13
You won't get away with it, Richard.
27:16
I promise you.
27:18
>> Anything you say, darling.
27:19
>> I'll come back, Richard.
27:24
You know I'll be back.
27:26
>> [ Chuckling ] Yes. Yes, of course.
27:28
Just -- Just welcome death, Una,
27:31
the way you wrote in your little poem.
27:33
>> I'll...be...back.
27:36
I...swear it.
27:40
[ Groaning ]
27:42
[ Dramatic music plays ]
27:44
♪♪
27:51
>> The funeral was held two days later.
27:54
It was a magnificent occasion, of course.
27:57
I gave Una farewell
27:59
that was consistent with her vast fortune.
28:02
Everything was the best.
28:04
Coffin, flowers, preacher, everything.
28:08
Her burial place was one of the choicest bits
28:11
of real estate at Forest Lawn.
28:13
The only discordant note was the fact that Dr. Singh
28:16
insisted on saying a few words at the service.
28:19
They were familiar words, but frankly,
28:22
they gave me a slight bit of a chill.
28:26
>> The body of Una Moresby is dead,
28:29
but her soul lives on.
28:32
The soul cannot die.
28:34
The soul is immortal.
28:36
It has left the earthly remains of this woman
28:40
and has sought the body of a small living thing.
28:44
There it will abide until the Almighty is ready
28:47
to choose its next home.
28:49
Mourn not the end of Una Moresby,
28:53
for there is no end.
28:58
>> I couldn't help congratulating myself
29:00
on how well everything had gone
29:02
When I called for medical attention
29:04
the night of Una's death,
29:06
the physician was only too ready to declare her a suicide.
29:10
The police had to be informed, naturally,
29:13
and they, too, agreed with the doctor's verdict.
29:16
Una had died by her own hand,
29:18
and she had died without a will.
29:20
There was simply no question that the matter
29:22
would be probated in my favor.
29:25
Suddenly I realized I was not only rich,
29:27
but a rich widower.
29:29
What vistas opened for me?
29:31
[ Dog barking ] What the devil?
29:32
Look out, you stupid mongrel dog!
29:34
[ Tires screech ]
29:35
A little dog trying to get run over.
29:37
[ Engine humming ]
29:39
I admit I was shaken up by it.
29:42
I mean, it was sort of a coincidence, you know,
29:46
right after the funeral and -- and all that.
29:48
[ Dramatic music plays ]
29:54
[ Door opens ]
29:55
I was very glad to be home again.
29:57
You can be sure. [ Door closes ]
29:58
>> Excuse me, Mr. Moresby.
30:01
>> Yes, Parker?
30:02
>> Cook is worried about the raccoon, sir.
30:05
>> The what? >> There's been a raccoon
30:08
at the kitchen door all morning,
30:10
and Cook is badly alarmed, I'm afraid.
30:13
I've tried to scare it away, but it keeps returning.
30:16
>> A raccoon, for heaven's sake?
30:18
Why don't you just shoot it and make a coat out of it?
30:20
>> I was wondering if you wished me to call the game warden, sir.
30:24
>> Oh, please, Parker, do whatever you please about it.
30:27
I'm gonna take a nap.
30:29
>> Yes, sir. Very good, sir.
30:31
[ Ominous music plays ]
30:36
>> I went upstairs at once, undressed, and got into bed.
30:40
It was a warm day, and yet -- yet I found myself cold.
30:46
I got out the electric blanket and soon felt very cozy indeed.
30:51
In fact, I felt so much better that I made a phone call.
30:55
[ Rotary phone dialing ]
30:59
[ Line ringing ]
31:03
Hello? May I speak to Rachel?
31:06
Thank you very much.
31:09
Hello, Rachel? -Yeah. Who's this?
31:12
>> Rachel, you -- you probably don't even know my name,
31:14
but it's -- it's Moresby, Richard Moresby.
31:16
>> Huh? Who? >> You met me at the club
31:19
numerous times. I'm the rather
31:21
distinguished-looking gentleman
31:23
who sits at the table on the far right corner.
31:25
>> Oh, yeah? Well, that's not my station.
31:27
>> Yeah, I know it isn't, and I've always regretted it.
31:29
Frankly, I would have enjoyed my lunches at the club
31:31
even more if you had served them.
31:32
>> Listen, I'm pretty busy right now.
31:34
>> Well, what I wanted to find out was
31:36
if you're busy this evening.
31:37
>> Oh, what'd you have in mind?
31:40
>> Oh, a little, uh, quiet dinner, perhaps.
31:43
>> Is that all you had in mind?
31:45
>> Why don't we just wait and see?
31:47
I can pick you up outside the club whenever you're free.
31:49
>> Yeah, how will know it's you? I mean, I'm still not sure
31:53
which gentleman you are. >> I'll be sitting
31:55
in an XKL Jaguar.
31:57
You think you'll recognize it? >> A Jag?
32:00
I get off at 6:30. >> [ Chuckles ]
32:03
See you then. [ Phone hangs up ]
32:05
[ Dramatic music plays ]
32:09
Yes, I was feeling very good now, very good indeed.
32:14
I would have drifted off into a pleasant sleep,
32:17
except for one thing.
32:18
[ Glass breaking ]
32:20
For a moment, I thought a bomb had gone off in the room.
32:23
Then I realized it was nothing more than a bird.
32:26
A foolish sparrow had dived in headfirst
32:28
into the plate-glass window of the bedroom,
32:30
and now lay stunned on the carpet.
32:32
I looked at the thing's fluttering little heart,
32:35
and suddenly I was struck
32:37
by a terrifying palpitation of my own.
32:40
The dog, the raccoon, the bird.
32:46
Good Lord.
32:48
Could one of them have been...
32:51
Una?
32:53
♪♪
32:59
>> Has Una Moresby returned from the grave?
33:02
Nonsense. Such things don't really happen.
33:07
But, uh, perhaps we should reserve judgment
33:10
until I return shortly with act three.
33:15
>> Like what you're hearing so far?
33:17
Are you curious about the history
33:18
behind radio programs just like this one
33:21
and the dramatic genius who created them?
33:24
In the nine-part, award-winning documentary "Audio Maverick,"
33:27
we explore the golden age of radio
33:30
through the life of Himan Brown.
33:32
You'll hear the history of radio come to life as we travel,
33:35
from the birth of audio drama
33:37
to the programs that brought millions of families
33:39
into their living rooms every night.
33:42
"Audio Maverick" is available anywhere you get your podcasts.
33:47
[ Dramatic music plays ]
33:50
♪♪
33:58
>> Now, let's see if common Sense has returned to our hero.
34:03
He's doing a sensible thing right now.
34:05
He's taking a good, refreshing shower.
34:07
[ Water running ]
34:12
>> By the time evening came, I was feeling better.
34:15
All my peculiar notions about Una's animal reincarnation
34:20
seemed ludicrous as I stood in front of the shaving mirror.
34:24
I thought about the delicious young woman
34:26
that was waiting for me at the club.
34:28
I'd admired Rachel's way with a tray for months,
34:31
but ever faithful to my wife,
34:33
I hadn't done more than gaze from afar.
34:36
But now things were gonna be different.
34:39
[ Knock on door ]
34:41
Yes, who is it? >> It's Parker, sir.
34:43
>> Yes, come in, Parker. It's alright.
34:45
[ Door opens ] [ Footsteps approaching ]
34:48
>> Excuse me, sir.
34:49
A bit of emergency in the kitchen.
34:52
>> Well, what is it?
34:53
>> A snake, sir. >> A what?
34:56
>> Cook insists that there's a snake curled up
34:59
in the telephone wire.
35:01
>> Oh, that's ridiculous, Parker.
35:03
>> Cook says it's there, Mr. Moresby.
35:06
They do get into the house sometimes.
35:08
>> Well, tell Cook she's seeing things.
35:10
Tell her to stop nipping at the cooking sherry
35:12
and she'll soon stop seeing snakes.
35:14
>> Yes, sir. >> [ Scream ]
35:16
>> What was that?
35:17
>> I would guess it was Cook, sir.
35:19
>> Oh, for heaven's sake, go down and see to it, Parker.
35:22
>> I'll try, sir, but I'm not very good with snakes, sir.
35:26
>> Well, what do you think I am, an expert?
35:28
[ Door closes ]
35:30
[ Dramatic music plays ]
35:36
But that wasn't the end of it.
35:39
Ten minutes later, Parker was back upstairs,
35:41
saying that the snake had left the kitchen
35:43
and run into the living room.
35:45
No, I-I suppose snakes don't run.
35:47
They slither.
35:48
It slithered into the living room
35:50
and was now embracing still another telephone wire,
35:52
obviously mistaking it for a long lost love.
35:56
But then another --
35:59
another unsettling thought came into my mind.
36:02
What if the -- What if the snake --
36:05
No, no, that -- that was ridiculous.
36:07
[ Telephone rings ]
36:09
Hello? >> Hi. Is this Mr. Moresby?
36:12
>> Yes. Who's this? >> Rachel from the club.
36:15
>> Oh, yes, Rachel. What is it?
36:17
>> Listen, could you make it 6:00 instead of 6:30?
36:20
I'll try to sneak out a little early.
36:22
>> Yes, fine. I'll be there as soon as I can.
36:25
>> In the Jaguar, right? >> Yes, yes, in the Jaguar.
36:28
>> Listen, the reason I want to leave earlier is
36:30
because my husband always picks me up at 6:30.
36:32
>> What was that?
36:34
>> So I asked one of the girls I work with
36:36
to tell him I got another job someplace.
36:38
He won't care. He likes me to earn extra money.
36:42
>> Yes, I-I see.
36:44
>> So, just to make the story look good,
36:47
I guess you'll have to lend me a few dollars after our date.
36:51
>> Yes, of course. >> Ooh, ooh, and listen.
36:54
I really do remember you, sugar.
36:57
You're the handsome one with the cute bald head.
37:01
See you soon.
37:03
[ Dramatic music plays ]
37:09
>> As it happens, I have a very full head of hair.
37:13
But distressing as Rachel's telephone call was,
37:16
an even more disturbing thought intruded.
37:20
The snake was in the telephone wire.
37:23
What if the snake had been trying to listen in
37:26
on the extension phone?
37:28
I-I knew the idea was absurd, but I-I couldn't help
37:32
a superstitious shiver of dread.
37:35
>> In fact, I was so troubled that I --
37:38
I decided to forego my date with Rachel the waitress.
37:41
It wouldn't matter anyway. She --
37:43
She'd be angry at some man at the club with a cute bald head.
37:48
[ Waves crashing ]
37:51
The next day, I did the only thing that really relaxed me.
37:54
I went to the beach.
37:56
It proved to be an excellent idea.
37:59
I stretched out on the golden sand and let the sun warm me.
38:03
I listened to the waves beating against the shore.
38:06
I listened to the haunting cries of seagulls circling overhead.
38:09
[ Sea gulls squawking ]
38:11
Suddenly, I was aware that the gulls,
38:13
which had been hovering over the water,
38:15
were now hovering over me now.
38:18
Instead of the cries being sad and plaintive, now they --
38:21
now they seemed menacing.
38:23
I-I stood up hastily,
38:25
but the gulls seemed to be increasing in number.
38:27
I saw their sharp, pointed beaks, their raking claws.
38:31
They were predators, of course.
38:33
How many times had I seen them swoop into a dive
38:36
and snatch up some poor fish out of the sea?
38:39
And there was one seagull in particular.
38:42
Its beady eyes seemed to be staring at me.
38:46
No, it was my imagination, of course.
38:48
I-I wasn't a fish. I was a man.
38:50
But just the same, I-I found myself --
38:53
found myself running down the beach, running,
38:56
running for dear life.
38:58
And that's -- that's when I knew it was time to see a doctor.
39:02
[ Sitar music plays ]
39:09
>> Yes, Mr. Moresby.
39:11
I'm very pleased that you honored the temple
39:14
with your presence.
39:15
>> I'm grateful that you're willing to see me, Dr. Singh.
39:18
I realize that, well, you -- you've had a disappointment.
39:22
>> A disappointment? I'm afraid I don't understand.
39:26
>> I know my wife made certain promises to you
39:29
concerning her will. >> I believe she mentioned
39:31
some modest donation.
39:33
>> She wasn't in her right mind, of course.
39:35
I mean, when she took those sleeping pills...
39:38
>> Yes. It was very sad.
39:41
I trust that she has found
39:43
the peace and happiness that she sought.
39:45
>> Frankly, that's -- that's what I wanted
39:47
to talk to you about. I-I mean, about --
39:50
about whether you really believe that my wife is --
39:52
well, that -- that she's some kind of animal right now.
39:56
>> But of course I believe it, Mr. Moresby.
39:58
I don't merely believe.
40:01
I'm positive.
40:03
When your wife passed from this world into the next,
40:07
her soul made its escape.
40:09
>> Yes, yes, I know how it goes.
40:11
But what I'd really like your opinion about is what --
40:15
what sort of animal do you think she might be now?
40:19
>> I told you, Mr. Moresby, we have no way of knowing.
40:22
>> But can't you take a guess? I mean, you said
40:26
it might be influenced by a person's karma.
40:28
Am I quoting you right? >> Yes.
40:30
The kind of person she was in life
40:33
may well determine the kind of animal she is now.
40:38
Your wife was soft. Your wife was gentle.
40:41
Your wife was independent in spirit.
40:45
Now, what animal does that remind you of?
40:49
>> I-I don't know. I-I can't think.
40:52
>> Then go home and think about it, Mr. Moresby.
40:56
Go home and try to be one with the universe.
41:00
[ Dramatic music plays ]
41:05
>> I went home, and I tried to be one with the universe.
41:08
And when that didn't work,
41:10
I tried being one with a bottle of scotch.
41:13
I was still in the library, asleep in the big leather chair,
41:16
when I heard the noise in the cellar.
41:18
[ Thudding ]
41:19
I simply had to investigate.
41:22
I looked into the cellar
41:25
and found that one bare bulb wasn't enough
41:27
for a thorough search.
41:29
I found a flashlight and went down the cellar steps.
41:33
[ Footsteps ]
41:35
At first -- first, there was nothing I could see.
41:39
But then... [ Thudding ]
41:42
...there was an empty oil can.
41:43
Swiftly, my -- my flashlight picked out the culprit.
41:46
At first, I-I thought it would turn out to be a mouse,
41:49
but instead --
41:51
instead, it was a large white cat!
41:55
[ Footsteps approaching ]
41:58
I don't like cats. I never have.
42:01
Skulking, cynical creatures.
42:05
When the beam of my flashlight hit it, the cat froze,
42:08
and I saw it was an alley cat
42:11
its -- its fur shaggy,
42:13
its -- its eyes baleful in the light.
42:16
It was fat, and yet it was bony, too.
42:19
I -- I said "Scat!" but it didn't scat.
42:22
Instead, it started to walk toward me.
42:27
And I knew for certain what Dr. Singh had meant.
42:31
I knew for certain I was looking at the reincarnation of my wife.
42:35
[ Cat yowls ]
42:37
As soon as that hideous apparition howled at me,
42:40
I-I made a cowardly dash for the cellar door.
42:42
[ Breathing heavily ] [ Door closes ]
42:44
Once -- Once I was on the other side,
42:47
I remembered the hunting rifle
42:48
that Una had given me for Christmas.
42:50
It -- It stood unused in an upstairs closet.
42:54
I -- I-I found it,
42:57
I loaded it,
42:58
and brought it back to the cellar.
43:01
I hadn't fired a rifle since boyhood.
43:03
I-I stood on the top of the stairs with my flashlight
43:07
picked out the ghostly white form of the cat.
43:11
I put down the light, raised the weapon,
43:15
and squeezed the trigger. [ Gunshot ]
43:18
The report was deafening, but the recoil was worse.
43:21
My precarious balance on the top step was lost.
43:23
I fell to the bottom.
43:25
[ Body thudding ]
43:27
♪♪
43:34
I tried to get up again,
43:36
but the -- the pain in my right leg was agonizing.
43:40
I found out later that it was broken.
43:43
But the cat -- the cat was still alive.
43:46
And it was regarding me at -- at eye level now
43:50
its fur matted with plaster dust,
43:53
its -- its eyes filled with hatred.
43:57
I tried to crawl toward my fallen rifle
44:01
Just as I saw the creature advancing toward me,
44:04
I-I screamed, "Una!"
44:07
[ Cat yowling ]
44:10
My hand was on the rifle now.
44:11
Grasping it too quickly in my panic
44:14
my fingers touched the trigger, and the rifle went off again.
44:16
[ Gunshot ]
44:18
♪♪
44:24
[ Keys clacking ] [ Indistinct conversations ]
44:26
>> So, that's how Moresby ended up in the hospital, Chief,
44:29
with a broken leg and a bullet in his hip.
44:31
>> And then he died.
44:32
>> But I think he was telling the truth.
44:35
You could see it in his eyes.
44:36
>> His silver eyes, right?
44:38
>> Yeah. His silver eyes.
44:41
>> And you really believe that the guy's wife
44:43
came back as a cat to get her revenge?
44:46
>> Why does it matter? It's still a good story.
44:48
>> Sorry, Prouty. I can't okay it.
44:51
>> Well, what if I got more details?
44:53
What if I talked to this Dr. Singh,
44:55
if I went to the Moresby cellar and found that cat?
44:58
>> And what would you do, then --
45:00
ask her if she's Mrs. Moresby?
45:03
>> I still think it's worth a try, Chief.
45:06
>> [ Sighs ] Tell you what, Prouty.
45:08
What are you doing for lunch?
45:09
>> I hadn't thought about it.
45:11
>> Well, think about buying my lunch.
45:13
>> You? >> There's a pretty good
45:15
restaurant right around the corner where the Moresbys lived.
45:18
Now, we can get a bite there and then check out that cellar.
45:22
[ Dramatic music plays ]
45:24
♪♪
45:29
So, uh, this is where it happened, huh?
45:32
>> Moresby fell from these steps when he fired that rifle.
45:36
Hey, you can still see the plaster dust
45:37
where the bullet hit. >> Yeah, I see it.
45:40
But I don't see any white cat.
45:43
>> It might be hiding someplace.
45:44
>> Or it might be a figment of his imagination.
45:48
>> Maybe so. [ Rattling noise ]
45:49
Hold it. Did you hear something?
45:52
>> No. >> Listen.
45:54
[ Rattling continues ]
45:56
There it is! Look.
45:58
>> Hmm. It's a cat, alright.
46:01
And it looks like it just found its supper.
46:05
>> Oh, that mouse is still alive.
46:07
>> Yeah, but not for long. Look at it squirm.
46:10
>> He's eating it!
46:11
>> Yep. And there goes your mouse.
46:14
>> Oh, my God!
46:15
>> What's the matter, Prouty?
46:17
Never see a cat eat a mouse before?
46:19
>> Chief, did you see that mouse?
46:20
>> Sure I saw it.
46:21
>> But didn't you notice something?
46:23
>> Like what? >> Its eyes.
46:25
Chief, did you ever see a mouse with eyes like that?
46:29
They were so pale blue, they were almost...silver.
46:34
[ Dramatic music plays ]
46:36
♪♪
46:40
>> And so the cat-and-mouse game comes to an end.
46:44
But according to Dr. Singh, there is no end.
46:49
Perhaps Richard Moresby will have his turn next
46:52
in another afterlife.
46:53
♪♪
46:59
♪♪
47:04
Do you believe in reincarnation?
47:08
Do you believe the dead return?
47:11
We have to believe it,
47:13
because here we are,
47:15
the reincarnation of radio drama.
47:19
We hope you'll keep us alive
47:21
by listening again to the "Radio Mystery Theater."
47:25
Our cast included Patrick O'Neal, Marian Seldes,
47:28
Nick Pryor, and Dan Ocko.
47:31
The entire production was under the direction of Himan Brown.
47:37
>> This is E.G. Marshal,
47:39
inviting you to return to our "Mystery Theater"
47:42
for another adventure in the macabre.
47:45
Until next time, pleasant dreams?
47:51
[ Woman screams ]
47:53
[ Man screaming ]
47:55
[ Door closes ]
47:57
[ Dramatic music plays ]
47:59
♪♪
48:07
♪♪
48:15
♪♪
48:23
♪♪
48:31
>> "If You Please... Himan Brown's
48:33
Radio Mystery Theater"
48:34
is produced and directed by Sarah Montague.
48:37
Our executive producers are Melina Brown and Sarah Montague.
48:41
CUNY TV's Executive Director is Chiqui Cartegna.
48:45
The Director of Production is Susan Iger.
48:48
The Associate Producer is Corinne Wallace.
48:50
And our audio production intern is Sofia Cedeno.
48:54
Margo Avery is the voice
48:55
of the series' introduction and credits.
48:58
The program commentaries are by John Slaveney.
49:02
Our technical team at CUNY TV
49:04
includes Senior Audio Engineer Richard Kim
49:07
and broadcast audio engineers Jackie Mitchell and Kevin Wolfe.
49:12
Our Staff Photographer is Laura Fuchs.
49:15
Our archivists are David Rice and Catriona Schlosser.
49:18
Our Closed Caption Coordinator is Amy Monte.
49:22
The "If You Please..." Program Mix Engineer
49:24
is Lisa Gosselin-Vincent.
49:26
Tink Media handles our publicity and marketing.
49:30
Our Director of Social Media is Karen A. Brown,
49:32
in collaboration with StardustBlue PR,
49:36
"If You Please... Himan Brown's
49:37
Radio Mystery Theater" is a production of CUNY TV.
49:42
If you enjoyed the show
49:43
and are curious about the history of these radio programs,
49:46
listen to "Audio Maverick."
49:48
In this award-winning, nine-part documentary,
49:51
we explore the golden age of radio
49:53
through the life of dramatic genius Himan Brown
49:56
and then explore the work of contemporary audio dramatists
50:00
who are part of his legacy.
50:02
"Audio Maverick" is available anywhere you get your podcasts.