Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 301 - Accepting compliments and kind gestures

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 301 - Accepting compliments and kind gestures · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:02
  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  Today we're talking about accepting compliments and gifts
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  that we don't expect. Well, we don't ever really
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  expect compliments, but when they show up, are you willing to
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  accept them? And when someone offers you a
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  gift, are you willing to accept it?
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  So these both came up for me personally and I recognize that
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  I didn't accept it. So first let's talk about a
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  random compliment I got. And someone said at the
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  hairdressers, I walked in and they said, oh your hair is
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  gorgeous. Now I did not feel that my hair
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  looked gorgeous by any stretch of the means.
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  So I was very adamant about saying Oh no, it's a mess right
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  now. And I immediately diminished the
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  fact that my head looked the way that it did.
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  And I sat there and she didn't say anything else.
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  She just said what she said. And then she didn't say anything
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  else. And I sat there for a second and
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  I said to myself, it's interesting that you did that.
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  Note that. And I filed it away, didn't
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  think anything else about it. And then a friend of mine, I put
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  up a post that I'm very fortunate that my old, my
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  daughter, my older daughter is pregnant and the healthy baby
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  boy. And we are celebrating like
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  crazy. And I put up a post about it.
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  And one of my friends who is near and dear to my heart for
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  many reasons, sent me a message immediately and said she has a
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  baby product company. And she sent me a, a message
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  immediately saying I want to send your daughter one of the
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  pillows, these special pillows for the baby.
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  And I was flattered that she even said that immediately.
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  It was very sweet. And I typed a message and it
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  said thank you so much. I miss you.
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  I hope you are doing well. I appreciate you thinking of us
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  and her. I'm happy to pay you for it.
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  And I didn't hit send because I recognized that there was
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  something wrong. So I got up, went, got another
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  cup of my hot drink, came back, sat down and was like, this is
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  interesting that I immediately offered to pay for it when she
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  clearly did not say in her message that she wanted me to
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  pay for it. She wanted to give her
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  something. That was what she said.
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  I want to give this to her. And I immediately jumped in and
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  said, oh, no, no, I will pay you for it.
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  So where does that come from? Inside of us?
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  Because we've all done it. We've all been in a situation
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  where someone has said you look pretty, you look great, you look
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  handsome. And we diminish it and we walk
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  away from it. Or I'd like to buy you lunch or
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  I'd like to get this for you. And they're like, no, no, no.
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  And we're fighting with cards or cash to pay for something.
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  Where does this come from? Well, in my opinion, for myself,
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  what happened there is I know how hard she works to build her
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  company. And I felt like if I took it, I
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  would be taking money out of her, out of her pocket.
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  And I know that that's something that's, you know, it, it, it
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  just doesn't sit right with me when I go to take something away
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  from someone. And the in the pause, when I
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  took the pause, I realized she genuinely wanted to do something
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  nice for myself and my family and my daughter.
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  And I would rob her of that experience by not letting her do
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  it. So I shut up and I retyped my
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  message and I thanked her and I sent her the address.
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  And I said, it's incredibly sweet of you.
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  Thank you so much. You have no idea what that means
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  to me. And then I felt the shift.
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  I felt good. I felt good it as it resided in
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  my gut. So I knew I'd done the right
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  thing. Now, as far as the compliments
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  go, this is even harder, especially when you don't, you
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  know, feel good about yourself or you feel like you're wrecked
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  and then you walk in somewhere and someone says something nice
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  about you. You're it rather than just
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  saying thank you. That means a lot to me that you
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  see that or thank you for your kind words or just even if you
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  can't get the thank you out, just smiling so that they know
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  they did a good thing. We are robbing them of
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  experiences when we don't choose to do it.
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  So we have to find a space within us that allows us to do
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  that so that they get the gift as much as we get the gifts.
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  And that's the tricky part my friends.
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  That is the tricky part. How do you get to that space?
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  Well, first you have to recognize that you're doing it
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  like I did. I had to recognize where my
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  screwed up Ness was showing up so that I could do something
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  about it because Lord knows it was not good.
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  I did not need to be so standoffish with it.
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  What I needed to be was more thoughtful about it so that I
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  could say OK, thank you and thank and thank goodness I had
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  the wherewithal to pull myself back from it.
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  Second, you have to sit with it for a few minutes.
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  I didn't just make this flip the switch in two seconds.
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  It took me a hot minute. So take a second, take a breath,
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  take a break, make it something that you are clearly focused on.
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  That will make all the difference in the world, I
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  promise. And when you do it, you're going
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  to feel so much better, so much better.
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  So allow yourself to accept the gifts, the compliments, all the
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  little things, because that's what fills us up.
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  All right, my friends, I hope you have a blessed day and I
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  will see you all tomorrow. Bye.