Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / A New Season with Jason Tartick

Transcript

A New Season with Jason Tartick · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: The most dramatic podcast ever iHeartRadio. Hi everybody, I.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: Ben Higgins and I'm Chris Harrison.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the most dramatic podcast ever with Ashley.
• 0:14
  Speaker 4: I and she's not here, So as a result, Chris
• 0:18
  Speaker 4: and I are going to co host this with one
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: of our favorite people in the world, Jason Tartik.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Jared, Jared's here.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: We are in uh well been tell them where we are.
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: We are in Carmel, California. This is a very special
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: event for iHeart. We bring anybody we can out to
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: iHeart to interview them because we like them. So Jason,
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: you were in here earlier. But when Chris and I
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: were talking about this with Dean, we said, this trip
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: is really meant for us to invite people we like
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: to hang out with to catch up in our lives,
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: and you're definitely one of those people, and so tonight
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: I don't think it's a secret that we have a
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: lot to catch up with you on. But then also
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: we want to talk to you about your future, like
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: what's exciting outside of you know, obviously what's going on
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: in the news right now.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: But let's obviously start with you, should we start with
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: the Middle East?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Where should we start? What problems should we solve? Tonight
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: after four bottles of wine at the Mission Ranch.
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: Well, I think, Chris, the thing we should start with
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: is Jason, are you single?
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Guys? It's good to be here.
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: I got Dean here, Chris here, Ben here. I feel
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: like I'm back in twenty eighteen. It is good to
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: be here. Jay and I am I single.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Yes, Jay and I had a long talk and because
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: he came to Austin and I hung out for a
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: while and he was a the only person who I've
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: ever done a podcast with at my house and then
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: he spent the night. We had a sleepover.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: We had a sleepover. Yeah, why did that happen?
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: I want to hear the backstory, because what happened We
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: were going to dinner to night and I was standing
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: next to Lauren and she goes, I love Jason Tartick.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: I said, that's great. I love Jason Tartick. But why
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: do you love Jason Tartick? Was because Jason Tartick helped
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: break down boxes at my house.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: The guy did one nice thing. He's gotten He's gotten
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: more mileage off of this one benevolent.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: You've done it one hundred times for her.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: I've been breaking up boxes, taking out the trash for
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: five years. You know, jay comes by one afternoon, kicks
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: a box and she's like, Oh, he's the greatest guy
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: in the world, living with Gandhi.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: All of a sudden, I'll take it.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: He's been he's been selling that for a while. But
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: you know, we did, we we got deep.
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: It was.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: It was honestly a very emotional night for both of us.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: So we kinda we got done and we we just
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: kind of went down the hall in separate ways and we're.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Like, we just got to be Yeah, quiet time. It was.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: It was. It was a deep one. It was a
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  Speaker 1: good one.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: It was therapeutic. It was good and thank you for.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Cathartic and I think it was something we needed. And
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: it's something like we've all become good friends. We can
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: all have these conversations and it's probably dangerous to be
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: doing this after, you know, four bottles of wine. But
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Jaye and I did talk about him being single and
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: about looking for love. And I'm sure you've dated more
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: since I've seen you out.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: There, We've talked, you've seen me. Where have you seen me.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: I mean the thing with Jay is Instagram is the
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: tip of the iceberg. Yea ninety percent of it is
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: below the water. So if I'm seeing of the entertainment life,
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: I can only imagine what's going on.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: That's good. Yeah, life is good.
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: It's it's changed a lot since our last conversation. So
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: everything is going because, well.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, how's it changed? Because you seem like you're on
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: the uptick.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Just in a lot of ways.
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: I think, like last time we talked, Like obviously there
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: are a lot of emotions. What's good about emotions is
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: you get those things out, you name it to drain it,
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: and you go through the grieving process. I've gone through
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: that process. I have full acceptance and so that feels good.
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: I feel lighter every day.
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  Speaker 1: You know.
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  Speaker 4: For me, I was watching from the outside, so I
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: got to see the headlines and listen to the episode.
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: The two of you are great at that, Like I
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: had no doubt that the two of you would dive
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: in authentically and really pull out the emotions. And I
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: think it's good for people to hear because it does
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: like the reactions are very positive, Like it keeps people
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: update updated with where you're at in life, Jason, but
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: we're here now, Like, I guess the question I have
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: for you is, like, what are you looking forward to
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: now in the future, Like this is a whole new
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: start for you. If they listen to the podcast on
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: the most dramatic podcast ever and they kind of got
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: a baseline of where you're at in life. Now we're
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: here in Carmel a few months later, a month later, Like,
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: what's next for you?
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, if you're gonna, if you're gonna give
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: me that platform with these two giant podcast hosts, I
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: gotta take the platform to do a little plug. I
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: have a new book coming out right talk money to me,
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: So I'm very focused on that book. I'm also very
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: transparent with things like that. If I sell one book,
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: or I sell I don't know, probably fifty thousand books,
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: it's not gonna put another penny in my pocket. I'm
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: just very passionate about the subject matter of we have
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: to learn finances, and then when we learn finances, we
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: have to learn how to protect them with ourselves, grow
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: them with ourselves, and then grow as a unit with
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: someone else. So the new book comes out in April.
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: I'm excited for that. Future I'm excited for. I have
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: an agency that's that's really really doing well. We doubled
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: our revenue last year. We're probably gonna hit close to
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: eight figures this year, which is exciting. And I don't know,
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: I think aside from just business, it's more of this.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: I'm in this weird phase of life where I've thought
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: about it.
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: I really haven't been single, like straight up single, single
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: since like twenty seventeen. Okay, so let me just explain
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: that briefly. They start casting for The Bachelor in early
• 5:54
  Speaker 5: twenty eighteen, like early late twenty seventeen. You go on
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: the show, got off the show, then the show shows
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: airing was in the top three, so they have to like,
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: you know, they kind of give you the guidance, like
• 6:04
  Speaker 5: watch what you're doing. So I was careful, so there
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: was probably like a two to three month window. I
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: was single in twenty eighteen, and then ex and I
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: are together, we break up. It's really been since twenty
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: seventeen I've been single, and then ten years through my twenties,
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: I was like corporate soldier, tell me where to go,
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  Speaker 5: how to go. So this is the first time in
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: my life that I have like financial freedom. I'm single,
• 6:28
  Speaker 5: and I could just do what I want to do,
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  Speaker 5: how I want, when I want. So this is the
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: year for me. Like aside from all that work stuff
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: that I put out there, I'm just like, I don't
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  Speaker 5: know if I could swear in this podcast, but I'm
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: just like.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: For get, like just let loosen enjoy dangeriously awesome combination.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is because you said things.
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  Speaker 2: Have changed since our podcast the last time we unite chatted,
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: and that was you were still. I would I would say,
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: if we could name it, you were in the morning phase,
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  Speaker 2: You're still. I was figuring things out in the morning.
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  Speaker 5: I was screaming through different like through through like baring
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: and trying to figure out.
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  Speaker 2: Yea, name it and label it and figure out where
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  Speaker 2: it goes. Of course, yeah, now if we're going to
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  Speaker 2: label this chapter, where are we?
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  Speaker 5: It's acceptance and pure, purest form of clarity and uh
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  Speaker 5: and it just excited, like excited for what's next in
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  Speaker 5: my life. I don't I want to have family. I
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: want to have kids. I recognize I'm thirty five, so
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: I know that there's there's only so much time for
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  Speaker 5: this period of my life where I could just be
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  Speaker 5: the main priority and go. So I would name it
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  Speaker 5: as like clarity, go and stop overthinking, just like go,
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  Speaker 5: go do it.
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  Speaker 2: So you have the business, little financial freedom, you've dealt
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  Speaker 2: with all the issues, and my guess is you've you're
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  Speaker 2: also realizing, you know, you gotta mody theme of fame,
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: right you have a little name recognition out there. So
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  Speaker 2: you're enjoying this chapter right now?
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  Speaker 5: It seems I don't, so when you phrase it like that,
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  Speaker 5: I don't the whole Like those things are great, but
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  Speaker 5: that's not why I'm enjoying it. Truly, I'm enjoying it
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  Speaker 5: because for so long I've been so bogged down of
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: worrying about everyone else and taking care of everyone else,
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: and and if you get into like therapy, it's the rescuer,
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  Speaker 5: which is like an unhealthy version of the coach. And
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  Speaker 5: I'm excited to just take care of me and so
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  Speaker 5: fame whatever, all that bullsh like, I don't care. It's
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  Speaker 5: just like I have so much light that I don't
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: feel so much empathy for people I once loved, and
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: I feel so much care for what I want. And
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  Speaker 5: so that's truly what I'm most excited about, right, Like
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: all that stuff is like bullshit. I think all the
• 8:46
  Speaker 5: fame and all these things we get it helps.
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  Speaker 2: It helps on a business level. It helps with you,
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  Speaker 2: It helps with the podcast, it.
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  Speaker 5: Plays out in it, it plays in it. One hundred
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: percent helps. You can't deny that all that stuff helps,
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  Speaker 5: but it all that does to me is just give.
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: It provides an ability to have financial freedom, and financial
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: freedom that allows me to do what I want, ie
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: coming out to Carmel for a couple of days to
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: see people I love and have cared for since twenty eighteen.
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: I think it's cool in this world, Like how often
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: do you meet people from an unscripted show and then
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: six years later, whether we're on the mic or not,
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: we're checking in Ben, We're calling each other, talking business,
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: talking about the mastermind stuff, Chris, how's life, How's family?
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: How's married life?
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: Like?
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: To me, that is such a cool thing.
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: So it's a mix of everything, I guess, But to me,
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: it's the financial freedom I guess that it provides. And
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: who knows when it ends right? Just you know it
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: can all end tomorrow.
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  Speaker 3: Well, you're doing a lot.
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  Speaker 4: I mean, Chris and I talked earlier, and we talked
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: with Dean about the passions and what has been created
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: from the show, and you've done a lot, you know,
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  Speaker 4: you'd be a great example to many on what you
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: can do with the opportunities provided. And then I also
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: to believe if you never went on the show, you
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: would have done great with or without it. But I
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: think the big question for so many, and myself included,
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: is what are you looking for?
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: Like what is this next season?
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: If you dreamed of what this next season would look
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: like for you, like, what are the things in the
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: future that you would love to have like attached to
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: the Jason name?
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: So be a little more specific because I could, I
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: could Relationship? What does what does family look like to you?
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: What does this?
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: I mean You've created some incredible businesses there, like you said,
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: are hopefully going to create eight figures in twenty twenty four? Yeah,
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: but like like when you look at the end of
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: twenty twenty four, maybeah, we're in December.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Let's say, like, what do you hope is attached to
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: your name?
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: I think if I look at like personally, let's do
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: I think, like, let's look five, let's.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Look like three to five years, right, three.
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: To five years. I would love to be married with kids,
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: find my person and then professionally, I've learned that you
• 11:01
  Speaker 5: can have all these aspirations and dreams, and I think
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: everyone here we know curveballs come our way and you
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: just expect the unexpected. So just try and be better
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: than I was yesterday, Like learn from yesterday and try
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: and be and grow as an individual within like the
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: different tracks I'm kind of going right, So but for me,
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: it's like continue to explore, to find myself, learn from
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: the mistakes, and then I don't know, I want to
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: find someone right, like.
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  Speaker 1: That is the goal.
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: Like when I think about my personal life, like I
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: want a family and I want to have kids, and
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: those are things I want and I have so much.
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: It took me a long time in life to learn confidence,
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: long time poster syndrome, all these things. When it comes
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: to professional world, I just I know I have confidence
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: that if I'm backed against the wall, I'm going to
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: figure it out. I know I'm going to. So now
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: I'm just so much more focused on do the things
• 11:57
  Speaker 5: I know I can do and work, but like also
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: just developing myself every day in a way I can
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: just be a better person of myself if that makes sense.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: It does, and I don't want this to be a
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: bash on Caitlin because you and I both know Caitlyn well.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: Chris knows Caitlyn well. We're friends with Caitlin. But relationships
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: that don't work out teach you something.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: They do.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: Like with my relationship with Lauren, it taught me something.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: And you know now that I'm with Jess, she was
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: the person I was looking for. What characteristics in the
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: next partner are you kind of looking for? Because I
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: know there's a lot of women out there that are
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: probably like I would love to date adjacent partik, like
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: he is a really attractive dude who has this stuff together.
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: But like, as you've kind of gone through different seasons
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: of life, what characteristics are you looking for your next partner?
• 12:52
  Speaker 5: Number one, for sure is a unit in which the
• 12:58
  Speaker 5: support that's given is match in return. Number two, I
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: would say, is uh, honesty and integrity. I think when
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: you get caught in love clouds, it's easy to avoid a.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Lot of those things.
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: I think number three is we live in a world
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: in which so much is working against relationships and so
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: much as working against happiness, and I think the more
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: happiness you have, the more envy there becomes. And when
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: that envy enters, you need such a solid unit that
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: your partner in the room with you and without you
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: in the room is there for you and they have
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: your back.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: So those are three huge things.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: That I'll be looking for.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: What were you blinded by with the love? What the
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: love cloud thing is interesting?
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean the love clouds in and I hate
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: to bring it back to the book by do my
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: background's business and finance and accounting.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: That's that's my heart. My grandpa told me.
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: It's taught me at sixteen, and I think it's the
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: perspective is even in the book, like I was so
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: caught up in the love cloud, even fundamentals that I
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: know and teach and preach every day, I didn't even
• 14:22
  Speaker 5: look into I talk about it in the book. And
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: so I think in general, anyone that's out there, if
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: you've gotten caught in the love.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: Clouds, it's easy to lose sight.
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: Of a lot of things, some of the things already
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: mentioned and some of the things that you might know
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: better than the back of your hand. And sometimes you
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: have to take a beat to say just check in, right,
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: like check in with yourself.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: Are you saying you lost yourself? In this relationship, you're good,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: I think, yeah, I think that's I think that's a
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: very fair assessment there that there were times in this
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: relationship that I I had lost myself and as a
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: result of that, you get caught.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Up in like a cloud of.
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: You're so into the love of it and the idea
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: of it, you lose focus of kind of like your
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: just overall compass direction and foundational focus for what is
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: right and isn't right. And I think I could be wrong,
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: but I do think there's a lot of people out
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: there that when love enters, you start to be blinded
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: by those things, right, because you're so infactuated with that
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: overwhelming feeling of bliss that you have been searching for,
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: whether it's been a month, two months, a year, three years,
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: whatever it might be. And that's a good learning lesson
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: for me.
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: Chris and I were talking about earlier, and you and
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: I actually were talking about the airport and you asked
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: me a question, like, two years in a marriage, what's
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: life look like? You know, like what is it? Because
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: it's a good question, like I couldn't answer that before
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: two years of marriage, I wouldn't know. And I said,
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: you know, if I were to I'm speaking to church
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: on Sunday, and I'm speaking to it like at some
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: point a group that's single, and the one thing I
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: want to make sure to implement into them is one
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: singleness is fine, like be single as long as you
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: need to be single. The second is when you get married,
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: Like when you're committing to somebody, there's a beauty and
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: the fact that now in two years in this I
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: can confidently tell you that there is a partner out
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: there that will release like some type of stress in
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: your life, not all stress.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: There's a whole new stres to marriage. But for me,
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: like my life.
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: Is freer now that I'm married, like my life like, yes,
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: there's a whole new burden that has been placed on
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: myself as a husband. But overall I found an incredible partner,
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: like an amazing woman who wants my life to be better,
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: who wants her life to be better, and as a result,
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: like she wants to support both those things.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: And I didn't know that when I was in your position.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: I went through a breakup on this show, and at
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: that point in time for me, I was in a
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: spiral of like maybe life is never what I thought
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: it would be like, maybe marriage is not whatever a
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: picture it would be.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: Maybe it would be full of pain and like I.
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: Would have to sacrifice a lot, but it's not that.
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: Like for me, I don't have to sacrifice a lot
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: for my marriage other than just trying to be a
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: good husband to my wife. Yeah, and I think that's
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: exciting for you, Like you're in a very similar position
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: at this point in time where you're coming out of
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: this relationship and let's we don't need a bad mouth
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: or or like put hate on either one of you,
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: but both of you hold a deep level of respect
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: in our hearts. But it wasn't right. So now you
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: enter it like out of that into this whole new season.
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: And I know Chris and I talked about earlier, we're
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: excited for you on what this new partnership looks like.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: And that's why I ask you the question, like what
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: are you looking for now? And Chris, you know, went
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: even better than than I could and say, like what
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: does that like love cloud look like?
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I think I think. Yeah, I think you
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: bring up a few good points. I think.
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: Even when you look at just you talking about like
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: I know you said you don't want to bad mouth anyone,
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: and I don't think anyone should be. I think even
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: when you look at why relationships didn't work, that's why
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: I even hate even stepping into these conversations. To Chris
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: I mentioned on your podcast, it's always I always start
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: to I could feel it. I am already deregulated talking
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: about it. Why am I deregulated talking about it? Do
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: you regulate talking about it? Because I have a very
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: very long laundry list of why things didn't work out
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: in this relationship, right and my ex also has a
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: very long list, And there's no way those lists connect.
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: And my perspective is going to be a lot of
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: hear saying and opinions, and her perspective is going to
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: be a lot of hearsaying opinions. And when you enter
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: into conversations like this with friends and mutual friends and
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: a world that's so small, I want to treat it
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: with the same respect I would expect my significant other.
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: And while I don't think that's been the case at
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: this point, I'm still gonna stand here and not really
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: dive into those things.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Right, So, there's.
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: Reasons why it didn't work out, there's reasons why we
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: are where we are, And I think to your point, Ben,
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: all you can do in these situations, the only thing
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: is look in the mirror and say where did I miss?
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: Where can I be better? How do I grieve and
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: get clarity? And for my next partner, I better show
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: up in a million better ways. And I didn't show
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: up in my last relationship. And that's the journey I'm
• 20:13
  Speaker 5: on right now.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Are you surprised the breakups had such a shelf life
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: that it's you know, there's still headlines, there's still.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: No why you.
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: When you start to read and see the same you
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: read the same book, and then you read it over,
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: you know how it plays out. When you watch the
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: same movie and then you watch it again, you.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: See how it plays out. And there's been.
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: A lot of conversations about a lot of x's of
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: my ex that one year, two year, five year, six year,
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: seven year plus continue to hit headlines.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: So I'm not.
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: Surprised, Chris says the question for you, though you've been
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: around the show, you've been around the relationships maybe for
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: a while.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Why do headlines play out?
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: For mine, I felt like it was a shelf life,
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: like it was like a six month shelf life, whereas
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: like felt like the world was falling down around me
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: and then it never like really existed again.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: When you're I mean, and Jay and I talked about this.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: When you're you know, when you're in that tempest, it
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: feels all consuming, you know. And I've talked to people
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: that are on the show when they're going through stuff,
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, look, I know, it feels like the
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: waves are crashing over your head and you you know,
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: but if you took a look from you know, thirty
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: fifty thousand feet, you'd realize this is such a minuscule
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: part of your life and a minuscule part of the world.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: But you know, we don't ever have that perspective when
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: we're going through stuff. I mean, it's impossible, right because
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: you're we're all self absorbed, we're self involved, and when
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: things are happening to us, it's magnificent, right, It's huge,
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: no matter what it is. And so that's only human nature.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: But what's interesting is, right, these things usually have a
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: shelf life. If they continue to exist and prolong and
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: seem to be exacerbated, it's there's usually a reason why.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: And it's interesting. It's like, you know, and usually it's
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: because someone wants it to write. It's someone is propelling
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: it to make that happen. And I've just noticed, like
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: the headlines continue.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: And what headlines continue? Though?
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: Why to?
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: But like I think that the idea behind the headlines
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: are things A lot has to happen, right, and a
• 22:38
  Speaker 5: lot has happened, you know a lot.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Has happened well, And look click in our day and
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: age to clickbait is a wonderful thing. As Ben looks
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: up the headline, you know it is. It's interesting when
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: you live in a world where we want one answer.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Like you said, Caitlin has a laundry list of reasons
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: why this relationship didn't work. You have a laundry list
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: of reasons why this didn't work. But for the and
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: when you're in a room like this with a bunch
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: of friendlies and people that love you, and we're talking
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: and we know the layers of this thing and there
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: are many layers to it, there always are. But when
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: you get removed from it and it's just the listener
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: and they're just looking for that one reason, right, we
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: all we all want that one reason. Why give me
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: the magic bullet. There's never a magic bullet. There is
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: never a magic bullet when there's a breakup. There's always multiple,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: multiple layers to how it got to that point. But
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: in this day and age of the clickbait and the headline,
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: we all want that, right, we all want that one
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: reason of why did Caitlin or why did Jason? You know,
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: like this will this will solve everything, and it's that's
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: that's never the case, but the headlines will keep going
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: because obviously it's getting the only reason. There's good feedback.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: People are listening and people are watching.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: Well, I think you're right.
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: I mean there's investment, and I think that maybe means
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: people are invested in the relationship or people are invested
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: into the breakup.
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: I don't know if we can that's good.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: I mean it's a good debate if like I mean,
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: clearly people are interested in Caitlin. Clearly people are interested
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: in you. I mean it goes to your you know,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: the q Q rating, right, I mean obviously you were
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: in the zeitgeist and people were interested in what's going
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: on with Jason and what's going on with Caitlin, and
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: so like this, you know, it only prolongs if people
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: are interested.
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean my take on it prolonging is just like,
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: I don't. I'm not the kind of guy that's going
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: to step into stuff unless I have to protest for myself.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Right, and I don't. And there's you know, there's been
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: a lot of.
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: Interesting things, right, but I'm not going to step into
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: anything unless I really unless it's truly directed. And there's
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: been a lot of like it seems like passive aggressive
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: little digs here and there interpretations.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean it's just it is what it is.
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: And yeah, it's an interesting like dichotomy of analyzing all that, right.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: I Mean, the funny thing is the three of us
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: sitting here have all been in the same spot to
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: a certain degree. We've all been a part of the headlines.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: We've all been on the good end of them and
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: the really shitty end of them. Yeah, and you know,
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: they they're both through the extremes. And when you're on
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: the bad end, and when things keep going, it's like, Okay,
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: you think it's over, and then there's another Yeah, there's
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: another one.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's it's tough.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: I mean, I know, you know Ben with Lauren when
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: he was going through it, I dealt with him and
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: with you and then you guys both dealt with it
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: with my Yeah, it's a lot.
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: It's a lot. I think in defense to both sides
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: or any sides, or your side or anyone sides and
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: your break upside. Whatever headlines right, the idea like just
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: the business of it. You create a headline so people click.
• 25:58
  Speaker 5: The only thing these magazines are looking at it how
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: many people click through? If people keep clicking through, they
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: will continue to create those headlines. And those headlines are
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: always going to be taken out of context.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: To get you to click through.
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: What I would say to anybody that is reading a
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: headline is like, actually read the full article. Then make
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: your interpretation.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Just go for paragraphs, just go for yeah, just read that.
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, here's the headline here, this is what
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: I was talking about. So it was published day, says
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: Jason Tartick. Would have told himself to wake the hell
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: up before moving in with ex Caitlin Bristow. So I
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: haven't done this yet, But if I scrolled down to.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: The bottom, which is a freaking long article, man.
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: I could, I could, says, I can interrupt you and
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: it will finish it, finish it, though, I could, I could.
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: Tell the final paragraph says, Now this changed throughout the
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: years of our relationship. But the point but to point
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: you a picture of how uninformed we were. Here is
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: a detailed list of all the numbers we didn't know
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: before moving in together, right, and it goes through credit score,
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: total incomes.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: Total Trading Secrets podcast.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: So well, I'll bring like, let's talk.
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: That's why I love the podcast I've run because we
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: give behind the scenes of stuff like this.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: So behind the scenes. I have a book coming out. Again.
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: If I sell one book or ten thousand, I'm not
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: going to make any more books in April.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: The book drops in April.
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: But the point is is that we had to with
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: a big publisher, we have to get an exclusives.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: That's what you have to do. So who do we
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: get an exclusive with? We get it with people.
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: What does people do? They give a book exclusive. It
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: gives credibility. So then what you do is you hand
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: them the manuscript. So you give them the manuscript and
• 27:43
  Speaker 5: then you don't have control over what they write. Now,
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: the whole entire point of that that headline is such
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: fucking bullshit because it provides zero context to the conversation.
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: The first two chapters is to show relatability that no
• 27:58
  Speaker 5: matter who's out there, even a guy like not trying
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: to put myself, but even guy who's got an MBA
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: in accounting and finance and has lent hundreds of millions
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: of dollars in underwrote bank loans, he's still through a
• 28:08
  Speaker 5: relationship and love got lost in some of the things
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: that matter when you look at something as a unit.
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: And it was all in the first two chapters of
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: me saying this is where.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: I screwed up.
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: I want to show you my cards because I'm writing
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: this book based on where I screwed up. Here are
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: things you could do better. Yeah, So then they take
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: a line that's going to get.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: People to click through. So that's a headline there.
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: But the psychology of like why this, Like I mean,
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: why are we still talking about the breakup? I mean,
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: I think a lot of people can interpret that a
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: lot of ways. But it's an interesting discussion. Yeah, that's
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: a lot.
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: So it's a twist in a sense promoting your book
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: which goes through all those things. Yeah, but it is
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: a twist a little bit on like the overall message
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: of hey, before you entern in a relationship or before
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: you take these big decisions in life, think about XYZ
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: correct And they say.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: The headline is like wake the hell up.
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: Exactly, But for you, it's like just in general, whoever
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: you're at, whoever you are, wherever you're at in life,
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: think about these things before you enter into these big commitments.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: It was more of like if I'm asking you Ben
• 29:21
  Speaker 5: for advice and you're saying to me, Jason, you know,
• 29:24
  Speaker 5: I screwed this up here and there, and I said
• 29:26
  Speaker 5: to myself, Ben, wake the hell up, Like, think about this.
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: That was the idea when writing this portion of the book,
• 29:31
  Speaker 5: like wake up, Jason, like, think about this stuff. And
• 29:34
  Speaker 5: the idea is to connect to a reader like I'm
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: sure we all, every person in this room has made
• 29:39
  Speaker 5: mistakes within their relationship and finances. So that was like
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: the the idea with it. But that's one headline. There's
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: many others, but I don't think that headline's probably a
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: depiction of the others.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Then there will be.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: Hit movies, yeah, and I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: So you know, that's what's interesting.
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: And I've read a lot of those lately and I think,
• 30:03
  Speaker 5: what's you know, the one thing about headlines and the
• 30:06
  Speaker 5: one thing about relationships and breakups and perspectives and however
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: anyone wants to talk is in twenty twenty four. It's
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: really tough to rewrite history with words. So you know,
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: you can say what you want and you can put
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: things out there, and you can have different captions and
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: you know, different things out there. But when there's enough
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: public record or things, you really can't rewrite history as
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: much as you want to. No matter what types of
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: form of kind of deception someone may or may not
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: try to display, you just can't rewrite history.
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: Well, to close this, Jason, you do have a book
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: coming out, as we've mentioned, why should somebody out there
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: who's listening want to read your book?
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Talk money to me?
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: Talk money to me.
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: So, if you don't know how to invest, it all like,
• 31:06
  Speaker 5: if you just step by step of how.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: To invest, that's one.
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: If you don't know how to budget, gives you a
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: step by step of how to budget. If you don't
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: know how to pay down your debt or understand your debt,
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: gives you a step by step of how to do that.
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: If you don't know how to think about the idea
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: of working with banks to get your first mortgage, or
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: maybe use equity lines to increase your wealth, like the
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: basic idea of using lending to get approved and to
• 31:29
  Speaker 5: then build your worth. This book will help you do it.
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: And then in the book every line or every word
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: that is said that might be confusing in the business space,
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: there's a full glossary and that's just the business aspect.
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: If you're then thinking about, like how do I talk
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: money to myself because I don't have a great relationship
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: with money, this book will teach you to do it.
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: And if you're working with another partner to like build in,
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: move in together and build a long lasting relationship of
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: wealth is won, this book will teach you how to
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: do it. So it's an intersection of love and money.
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: There's so many books about how to master love. There's
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: so many books how to master money. And love and
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: money are a huge part of like everyone's life and
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: how we exist is one. So that's the kind of
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: the premise about the book. And then the other thing
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: too is unfortunately in this world, like you look at
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: true crime and all the things we do, we learn
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: through hardships. There's a lot of really crazy stories out
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: there of people who learned in.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: Really really really hard.
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: Ways like getting married, getting a mortgage, and instantly the
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: next day IRS Boom has a taxling on their whole
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: house because they didn't recognize their husband they just married
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: has a huge IRS taxling. There's a lot of stories
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: that we can learn through their experiences.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: So that's a little bit about that.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: So the number one reason, right, So the number one
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: reason people get divorce, breakup whatever money have these have
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: these discussions. You and I talked about this so and
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: look someday you'll end up in a room with Ben
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: and I and slack slash joggers boots with no socks
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: and shirt that's a jacket.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Look at how far you've come.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: Look how far you've come.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Here we are, Jason, seriously, man, I appreciate you sitting
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: down again and sitting down with Ben and I and uh,
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: I'm glad we're all here. It's ah we said it
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: with Dean and uh, you know, Bob Getty's coming in
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: and a bunch of friends are here, and it's always
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: good to get everybody together. Check out the book Talk
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: Money to Me drops in April. Trading Secrets. The podcast,
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: which I've listened to many many times over is brilliant
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: stuff on the economic side of life. So many just
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: simple things we should all be doing.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, appreciate it.
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: Thank you guys for having me. Well let me ask
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: you too, now, Well I got you. As you're wrapping up,
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: you can ask me anything. Two married men here, you've
• 33:44
  Speaker 5: had a lot of success. One piece of advice for me.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: What do you got?
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: Give me feedback, Tell me what I could do better,
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: Tell me what I needed to do more of or
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: less of.
• 33:55
  Speaker 5: Let's end with the two guys who have done it successfully,
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: teaching the guy who hasn't done it right.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: I'll start here.
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: Yes, my honest opinion is this take some time, and
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: I mean this in the bottom of my heart, takes
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: some time to decipher through all this bs right now
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: and figure out what you want. I journaled, which was
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: a huge gift to me because I knew what I
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: was looking for before this whole experience and then after.
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: But figure out what right now you feel like you're
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: missing and be okay admitting it and figuring out like
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: there's a person out there for you who fills those
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: gaps you know. For me, this world was spinning faster
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: than I could consume, and a lot of my friends
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: and family were telling me, hey, you're never going to
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: be that guy that can stay relevant, that can stay influential,
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: that can stay in the spotlight.
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: You're not that guy.
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: And I want to fight that, like, no, I can
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: be that guy, and they're like, you're not going to
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: be that guy. It's not who you are, Ben, And
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: finally I had realized I wasn't that guy, Like that
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: wasn't what made me happy. When me happy was a
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: life of somebody that would give me security, simplicity, con
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: tim and but also pushed me to be the man
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: I always dreamed of being. And when I finally realized that, hey,
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: maybe my life wouldn't be marrying somebody that was in
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: the spot i'd been marrying somebody who maybe made me
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: my better self, then everything made more sense.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: And so.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: You know, the success financially or whatever that looked like
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: like that just maybe comes or it's kind of up
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: to you. But when it comes to a partner, for me,
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: it was just like in a sense, like settling into
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: what I knew would be my best partner and not
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: looking for whatever can make the headlines just and I
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: will make the headlines. Very often we go to bed
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: a fifteen. We watch a lot of Gardens of the
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: Galaxy or whatever's on TV. And when I lay in
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: bed at night, Jason and I look at her and
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: she lays her head on my chest. We have a
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: dog on my feet. I'll tear up saying it. There's
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: many a night's where I look at her and I
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: tell her like, this is my dream. And I never
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: maybe when I was on.
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: The show, I never believed it would be, but it is.
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: And so I just say take a second and step
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: away and just say, hey, outside of all this craziness,
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: what do I dream of?
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: But what did I dream of? And go back to that.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: That's good advice. It's great advice.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: You didn't think when we were eating pot Brownie's in
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: Jamaica you were going to have the dream?
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: Goodness gracious, and the thunderstorm came in. Remember that? Yeah,
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: goodness gracious.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: Chris, No, it was Wilson. I mean, you and I
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: have talked business, but I I it's funny. The first
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: thing that struck me. And I wouldn't say it as
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: poetically as Ben just did, but same thing. I was like,
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: you know, if I'm giving advice to you, it's be
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: single embrace it.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: And I don't mean go play the field and you know,
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: be a slut. I just mean And if you, by
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: the way, if you want to knock yourself out, I
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: don't care. But it's it's takes some time, and that's all.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: That's what That's what Ben was saying. And I agree,
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: take some time to get your sea legs about you.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: And you know, you, whether you know it or not,
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: you got rocked. And you know, life's a little crazy
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: with the headlines and with all the crap going on,
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: and when we go through stuff like that, you just
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: need a minute, right, and you just need to give
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: yourself some grace, give yourself some time. And you're a
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: smart guy, and you have a lot of people around
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: you that love you to death. And like no one's
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: I mean by no means is anyone worried about you.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: You're doing just fine. But and you know, the successive
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: business and all that stuff's going to come. But it's
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: just what I want for you, the same thing Ben
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: and all your friends want for you is to also
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: find somebody to share it with.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah you will, yeah, and you will.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 38:06
  Speaker 5: It's one of these things. It's like life prepares like
• 38:09
  Speaker 5: life only prepares you for so much. You gotta live,
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: you gotta learn. And then break ups no matter who
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: you are, are really tough. And then this whole other
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: aspect that we talked about today, right, like all this
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: other noise enters and the and the only world.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: The word I can think.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: Of is like paralysis.
• 38:25
  Speaker 5: Like I just like sometimes you sit back and you're like,
• 38:28
  Speaker 5: I'm paralyzed. Do you do you like fight for what's right?
• 38:31
  Speaker 5: Do you just shut the hell up? Do you just
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: go away and never come back? Do I just click
• 38:35
  Speaker 5: the switch off and just turn around? So it's good
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: to hear about this because no one, no one really prepared,
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: and you both have been through it. No one prepared.
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: There's no book to teach you how to deal with
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: all this stuff.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: Like it's a lot.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: It's truly like drinking water from a fire. It's you
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: are nowhere prepared for it. When you were kind of
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: shot out of this cannon and I went through it,
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: even when you know, I got divorced and I started
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: dating again, and it's like, oh my god, like it's
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: it was you enter a world you're like, you know
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: you have it's a whole different world than when you
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: were single before and when when you were on the show,
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: and so enjoy that and experiment and then make your
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: mistakes and fail and laugh about it. And then eventually
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: you're going to get to the point where you see
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: the ridiculousness and all of it and you're going to
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: settle in and you'll find somebody.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: It'll be wonderful.
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: Exactly until then, enjoy it, yeah, I think, because the
• 39:31
  Speaker 5: thing is like in this space, you're damned if you do.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: You're damned if you don't.
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: You jump on the mic with Chris and Ben instantly
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: I'll get for just even talking, right, or you'll get love.
• 39:41
  Speaker 5: You just don't know. And I think the biggest thing
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: I've learned, even through like my therapist, is like, stop,
• 39:45
  Speaker 5: when you experience things in life, when you walk into them,
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: think about your experience and less about how people are
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: experiencing you. We get so focused in this world how
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: everyone is experiencing and consuming us, as opposed to like,
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: what is my experience in this moment, the way I'm thinking,
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: the way I'm talking, and just continue to proceed, like
• 40:05
  Speaker 5: with character, in the way that you normally would. And
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: if you're worry about your experience, the wrestle fall in
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: the place. So so I'm trying to do.
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: Hey, man, Ben Higgins, bring us home, Jason, nobody's worried
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: about you.
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: You're gonna do a great man. Chris is right, you're doing.
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: You're a great dude who were just so thankful to
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: be out here with and thanks for sitting down with us,
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: Thanks for hanging out with us.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: Thanks for teaching us the things that you got to
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: teach us.
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: When it comes to I mean, in five years, will
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: be hopefully sitting maybe not in this room, but in
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: a different room, maybe in this room, and you're gonna
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: be teaching us or teaching somebody new. Chris and I
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: will be retired at that point. I hope the.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: Figures will be long dead.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, nobody can sit at my grave site.
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: But you're going to be teaching somebody new who comes
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: through this world or through a different world, the same
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: stuff we're talking about today. We're like, hey, I've been
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: in your shoes. Yeah yeah, and that's such a cool thing.
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: And we've seen it over and over again as we've
• 41:10
  Speaker 4: been here for eight plus years since the show, and Chris,
• 41:14
  Speaker 4: I don't know, fifty years.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: For some red wine on the Grave.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this has.
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: Been there a couple of tear drops.
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: We've been here with the Most Dramatic podcast ever and
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: almost this podcast, but Jason just thanks for hanging out
• 41:33
  Speaker 4: with us and this weekend.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: You guys for having me guys.
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: Love you, Love you guys, always a pleasure. Follow the
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on iHeartRadio or
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the Most
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Dramatic Pod Ever, and make sure to write us a
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: next time.