Latest / Black Girl Interrupted Podcast / Domestic Violence Awareness Pt. 2

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Domestic Violence Awareness Pt. 2 · Black Girl Interrupted Podcast

• 0:00
  Oh oh, all right, thank you for turning it to another episode of
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  Black Girl Interrupted. You all already know who it is. It's your girl
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  actually, and tonight this is part two of domestic violence awareness. But it's
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  not about me tonight. I actually have my sister on tonight who wants a
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  boy a story. But before we roll into it, y'all know how to
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  get down. Welcome to Black Girl Interrupted. We like to think that we
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  are the new go to conversation on all things concerning the black woman experience,
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  whether it's wellness, self love, self care, or empowering one another.
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  Black Girl Interrupted will interrupt that daily grimes uplift, change and empower women of
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  color to a whole new level. Don't forget to join us each and every
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  Tuesday night, a pm Central Time nine pm Eastern Time for all brand new
• 0:59
  episodes. All right, y'all already know. Y'all know I live every Tuesday
• 1:21
  night a pm Central Time, not being Eastern time, so you know,
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  and I did both all the episodes in case anybody needs to catch up.
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  If they've missed any episodes, I have reported them, so tune in.
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  So let me jump right on it. So again, I got my sister
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  Torkeedo with me tonight. Hey, Ashley, how are you feel good tonight?
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  I can't complain smiling. I'm smiling. That's a good thing. It
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  feels good to do this. And you know what, and a smart baby,
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  it takes more muscles to brown than it does to smile. And it's
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  all good to do this because it's been it's been a while. It's been
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  a while to to genuinely smile. I think, I think the smile before
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  for years, I think I think for a long time with this time.
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  I can't help you, man, I can't help there, But I feel
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  good. Snake girl, you have, Like I said, you've gained two
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  sisters. You're actually gonna gain a whole circle of salute of sisters who are
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  actually gonna be on this journey with you. You know, I want you
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  to know you're not alone. You know you're not the only woman in the
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  world that has lived in a domestic violence relationship and has come out of a
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  domestic violence relationship. You know, I applaud you for even coming on tonight
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  and wanting to share your story. You know, some women I know are
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  still a little shy, a little skeptical, and really don't want to share
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  their story because they don't want to be judged. But with me, there's
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  no judgment. Yeah, what not censored babes. So if when you're when
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  you're jump into it, if you need to call that basket or basket bay,
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  call him my bath foot, whatever you got to call him. But
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  I want to see that smile. I want you to keep that smile,
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  you know. So let's go ahead and let's jump right only so that question
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  for you, you know again, domestic This is October. This is the
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  last day of October. This is domestic violence Awareness month. But I don't
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  want the conversation in today. I don't want people to just say, okay,
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  well October's over, let's not talk about domestic violence anymore. No,
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  we need to keep the spotlight on it. Man, Let's go ahead.
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  I'm sorry it's this, so let's go ahead and jump on into the course.
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  So in your opinion, ship, what is the mest the violence?
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  So you what is it? Domestic violence? To me is first, I
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  didn't honestly, before I was in it, I thought domestic violence was physical.
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  So every time I hear domestic okay, I'm thinking about somebody putting their
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  hands on somebody, whether it's female against man, man against female, female
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  against female, man against man, whatever it is. I thought about physically
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  doing something to someone, But now I know that domestic violence, too,
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  is more than just putting your hands on someone. It's verbal, it can
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  be sexual, it can be financial, it can be emotional, it can
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  be mental. And that's what it is. To me. Domestic violence is
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  it's it's all the above, It's all the above. And like I said,
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  it's to me, I thought it was just a hit, a punch
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  a black guy. So if I seen somebody getting hit, I'm oh,
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  they're just going through a domestic something domestic and something violent. But knowing that
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  if a friend came to me years ago saying that her husband was talking to
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  her crazy, and I'm just like, just leave, you know, just
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  leave if it's up, if someone's just talking to you a certain just leaving.
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  If you don't like it, just leaving, absolutely, but not realizing
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  that that person was being abuseless, was was in something that was violent,
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  that was life was being taken from them in the situation. And to me,
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  domestic violence is it's more than just that touch. It's more than just
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  it's more than just a black eye, am out bleeding. It's more than
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  just bitch, shut the fuck up and you get punished. I really thought,
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  and I keep talking about the physical because my my domestic violence wasn't physical
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  at all. I didn't get hit. He never put a hand on me
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  unless I pushed him his mouth, and he didn't even hit me. He
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  was scared to hit me. So it don't even has to be he hit
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  me. It's oh, he called me a stupid motherfucker, or he called
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  me a ball aheaded bitch, or he took all the money off the bank
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  account so I can't go nowhere, or I but you're disrespectful, you're disobedient,
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  you don't listen to me, so you're a bit Oh yeah, so
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  it was it was almost like he was talking to me like you were a
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  dog, an animal, or something like disobedient. That's something you tell a
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  child that's not listening. You're being disobedient, right, How in the hell
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  do you tell a brown woman, a brown woman, a mother, a
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  mother disobedience. I'm you're my husband, you're not my daddy, you're not
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  my trainer. You know, I'm not a dog, I'm not a cad
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  I'm not some animal in a zoo, so how in the hell can you
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  tell me I'm disobedient? But that's mean he didn't know what the husband was.
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  He didn't know what the husband was. And I'm gonna get to that
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  part of the story too, because not that I questioned myself. This is
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  my second mirror. I've been married twe okay, just getting marriage and this
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  marriage was very fast. My first marriage was a more a spiritual marriage,
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  so that was that was front. That marriage is a seat, Okay.
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  We pretended in that marriage to be something we weren't. This marriage was two
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  broken people. I was broken. I was broken. I didn't know if
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  I was coming her going. My mom got sick, I moved out the
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  seat. I just got a divorce, having been single in over six to
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  seven years. Then some time with myself didn't heal not just from the marriage,
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  but from a trauma from my dad not being there, absolutely being sexually
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  uh, I would say a faltic as a child at twelve years ago.
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  So I'm healing from these things still. And then I married someone who I
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  thought was a protect me and my child. At the time, I had
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  one protect me and my child because this is what he's telling me. And
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  he showed me I couldn't get it. He showed me I'm not saying that
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  he was a bad person, and this is how how I got it so
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  bad because of what. Okay, I love you guys, so I'm gonna
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  sacrifice stay with you guys, and helped you paid it and I was struggling
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  with bills. So he came in and tried to do this for me and
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  do this for my son. And it was nice that first it was names,
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  and then the argument started with name calling me and I couldn't understand why
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  I was being called out of my name because we're do and I'm not an
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  argument this person. I don't like to argue. I don't like to I
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  know how to communicate without right Ryan, I'm with all that without all the
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  extra. So that goes so so check this out side. So this goes
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  to my second question, what are the signs? So let me ask you
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  this, what were the signs for you? Like? What was he like?
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  What don't he do like? And if you don't have to be specific,
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  like it doesn't have to be a particular date, you don't have to
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  give me a date to say, oh well, on January eighteen, two
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  thousand. He was cycled, so I knew his cycles. All things were
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  okay. I knew I had to third because I'm a very spiritual person.
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  And I'm not just talking about Christianity and Buddhism and you can say I'm spiritual,
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  like I have a connection with that. I have a connection universe.
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  I know my power that I haven't needed, how Black creating me. Okay.
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  I can feel when things are happening. And I knew when he was
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  going to start acting out because I would starting to bring myself down my character.
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  I wasn't as happy anymore because I'm a social butterfly. I have not
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  just social media, but in real life. I love people. He took
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  me to a place where I didn't know people for three years. I didn't
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  know no one for three years and have a beautiful, a big family back
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  in Connecticut. So but his sign when they were they were so psychul I
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  knew that because he was a truck driver, so he was awfulays on the
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  role for three weeks out of the month. I give it fifteen days out
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  of the month, so it's copathetic on the you know you want to rule.
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  I'm home so everything is I love you, babe, and pictures and
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  you know, oh I miss you. I can't wait to get back.
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  You get here and we're gonna do this and we're gonna do that. And
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  this was before marriage, so it was easier before marriage because at this time
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  we're trying to you know, get things in line. So we didn't have
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  our own place, so money was you know, we could spend extra money
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  and things was, you know good. So so how did y'all meet?
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  We met through my sister and his cousin. Okay, it was just a
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  night. You know, we went out. He's a truck driver, like
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  I said, he was in town and Jacksonville, so you know, I
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  just went out. I'm single, so I could do whatever I want,
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  so exchange numbers. Oh you're hair. I'm not looking for a relationship,
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  so you know, we're gonna just standin a move. But things happened because
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  we're dope, and he ended up, like I said, two groken people.
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  I was in a part of my life where I was still trying to
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  get myself together after this this first mirror and I wasn't home and then here
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  he comes with the narcissist behaviors. Of Okay, I see something where I
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  see pray, he prays. I believe that narcissist prey on individuals. They
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  know, they know when to to attack. I would say, they know
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  when to attack. And we met and we just it's just he needed help.
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  I need to help. So let's do it together. So let me
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  ask this. So when you met h okay, y'all hit it all,
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  everything was going good, perfect, What were the signs before you got met,
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  before you accepted the name call? The name called. I've never been
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  called out of my name by no one in my life, like, no,
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  no man, no man has never called me out of my name.
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  So to hear for the first time, I'm like, Okay, maybe he
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  he loved me because I see it on TV when we call out bitches and
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  stupid bitch and they're getting beat but they get these diamond rings and they get
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  the house. And and not that I'm naive, because I'm very smart and
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  street smurt, book smart and street smirt. I'm not dumb. And I
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  watched the strongest woman I know in the world before she passed away. I
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  seen strength, So it's not that I was dumb or naive. So for
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  those that's in there. I can't even say you have to be dumb,
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  because this is not about being dumb. It's not about it's not about being
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  naive. You can be the wisest woman and still end up in something like
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  this. Because the signs to me was just the name called, and I'm
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  like, oh, that's you know. I could deal with the argument and
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  if somebody calling me on my name, because it was a few times.
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  But after that one time I literally caught his mom because it was right before
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  we got married. We had a bad argument where I was all kind of
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  bitches and I couldn't understand we were getting married. We already knew what we
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  were doing. We already talked about what we're doing. We had a date
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  of when we were going to the Justice of Peace to do what we were
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  doing. We had a date. So I was confused about the name called.
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  But that was the red black to me. So why did you proceed
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  to marry him? If you saw if okay, if you saw the red
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  flags, you saw the big stop side that was like, no one go
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  to the nearest exit, go to the It was like, I've seen it.
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  So before you even answer that question, because I want to make this
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  a two for our question, wasn't it because you had the abandonment was out
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  there? So it goes back to as a child, like it goes that's
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  like how it you dad was accent, never in a home. I was
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  raised by my mom, never had a mal figure in my life that showed
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  me a man. So I'm accepting anything that comes my way that says,
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  baby, I'm gonna take care of you like a man. That's absolutely not
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  showing me because I didn't see anything yet, but you're saying it to me.
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  So by word of mouth, I'm already okay. This person is telling
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  you something. Let me just go with it. And I'm such a passive
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  person that I guess everybody a chance. So I see showing you that you
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  don't need to see. So I see potential in this young man that he
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  didn't even seeing himself. Oh yeah, So the red flag was you.
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  You you dealt with worse than this your last husband, like men, so
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  loo deal with being called the bitch. So wait, so he took your
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  past and just literally slapped you in the face with it. Yeah yeah,
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  because the I taught him about a monster. And that may sound I wouldn't
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  even say evil because it is, but it is the character. The character,
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  the way he acts and how he treated me was like a monster.
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  Like we gotta we gotta guests joining us, We gotta guest joining us.
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  Oh hi, o, hey, hello, how are you? I'm good?
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  How are you? I'm better? You know I now have my two
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  sisters. Today today was just it was not a good day. It just
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  wasn't. And I had to I had to go on my closet today and
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  I had to pry. I had to pray they change the format, because
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  baby, I need ever, I need to be able to see here we
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  go there, so I'm better. God, look and see I threw some
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  lashes on then I put them all right, they look good. I wish
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  I had some lashes. Well, you know what, sis when you come,
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  we're gonna fix up. I'm gonna put keys, gonna do your makeup,
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  and I don't tell us to do. I love that. I love
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  that lipstick. Thank you. I'm so rude. That's key sort of Wait
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  wait, wait, I gotta take it off because see there your goal joining
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  us tonight. That's the sheeting of Pecia's corner and colors by keys. He
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  Oh, you have to put your face off. So yeah, so yeah,
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  I had to tell me all some lipstick. This is actually a color
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  from the gold Top collection. So yeah, like I said, we do
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  have a sale going on. You can get all the lipsticks for half of
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  so you know, you choose Abama, you know. So this is the
• 19:52
  lip color Autumn if you're interested. So that's pretty. I want to Aubrey.
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  I know, I think I need to look I don't wear makeup like
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  that, but I'm gonna try it. She list either. No, I
• 20:07
  don't know how to do none of that. Give me some I don't.
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  I hate. I don't really I don't like makeup. Now I put some
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  lipstick on. It's so pretty. I wurn't lipstick, thank you, I
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  will, you know, other than just car Max, I wur lipstick.
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  I do. I do the chatstick. But some days I had to publictick
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  on. I had the blues on last night. Man. That's so what
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  we're talking about, sister. You know, thank you for coming in and
• 20:38
  joining us tonight. So Torpida telling us her story tonight. She's sharing a
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  story. Of course. You know, I'm putting a spotlight back on domestic
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  violence awareness money. I know, today is the thirty first, Kylerween,
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  the last day of October. But as I share with you, know our
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  new found sister, I don't want today to be the last day that we
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  just customestic violence because it's not just a month thing. This is the every
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  day thing. So I want to keep the conversation going. This is part
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  two. I'm definitely want to keep the conversation going. So she's telling us
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  how she met her through to the ex husband and how she saw all the
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  flags, all the red flags. She saw the stop sign, but she
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  married it anyway. She was like, oh, I could make this red
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  light, and she did. She was like, no, I'm right under
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  right and be the camera before I was able to take a picture of her
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  license plate. So that's what we are tonight. We're talking about again.
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  This is not about me to y'all know. I shared my story Tuesday,
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  and I promise I'm not gonna get emotional tonight. But y'all know I'm emotional
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  and when I feel something talking at my heart strings. But he is non
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  false. If you see me with one last show, by the end of
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  the show, me too. So I want, sister, someone keep on
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  because so gone. Okay, so you said you know, the abandonment issues
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  because your your father was not there, and the problem was I always wanted
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  to be that because my dad we got nine and counting kids. It's always
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  somebody new I have a problem. I think he's five or five year old
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  sister on my dad's side, so five, oh yeah, was so right.
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  So when lady was it, yeah, and I'm one of nine or
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  I don't know how many of us was there, but just having that the
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  absent dad and wanted to be because I wanted for that. I wanted a
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  dad. I wanted to be daddy's little girl. I used to write writing
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  poems about wanting to be daddy's little girl, lying to my friends about my
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  daddy going this. When I get home and ain't no daddy home, it's
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  my mom right by herself. So my similar, I ain't got no daddy.
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  But that's what I wanted in my heart. That was me. I
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  even went so far. Let me tell y'all, I even went so far
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  because my father had hurt me so bad. Girl. I had went to
• 23:40
  the school and told the people at the school my daddy had died. Oh
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  wow wow. But it's that deep because I created I literally created that bond
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  that I didn't have with my dad. I created that bonding when I tried
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  to execute that bond to him because he was in prison most of my life
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  and even in my debt life, he was in prison. So when he
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  came home finally, even when he goes in prison, I want to go
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  see him as a child. And I'm sorry, I don't know. I'm
• 24:11
  on my patio because in Florida is raining, but it's so beautiful else like
• 24:15
  today, it's not it's not cold, it's like perfect. You need you
• 24:22
  need, Yes, I said, I had to get this fresh air tonight.
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  But if you hear some wind or see me, oh, it's just
• 24:30
  because the flying girl, you're fine, Like I said, we girl,
• 24:34
  we used to the wind and the rain and ever its usually in Texas,
• 24:41
  I can imagine. So not knowing the landing, I just had some some
• 24:44
  in Georgia with some crazy things going on with the weather. But he's always
• 24:48
  crazy things going on here, right, So with him with the daddy issues,
• 24:57
  that's that just made me always in men because that's why I was married
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  twice. And I just see I see potential and I go for it,
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  but they don't see what I see. And that's the hinderance with women,
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  with black women, I would say, because yeah, we see potential,
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  and these men, I mean, they don't. They don't even have it
• 25:19
  in them to pull it out themselves. But we're the ones that's so eager
• 25:25
  already. It's like, I see, you know, we're by this for
• 25:32
  you. Let me go do this for you. Let's write this LLC,
• 25:34
  let's write this business plan. But he don't even want to do that.
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  So with him, that's what I see that with my husband, And like
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  I said, before he became my husband, that's that argument. Right before
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  that, it was probably a month before. I would never forget because I
• 25:49
  called his mom and what did she say? I sat in the car and
• 25:56
  first, it's not that we had a bad relationship because I never ever met
• 26:00
  his family physically. It was a spacetime talking on the phone, never met
• 26:04
  him physically because he was still to this day, I would never because the
• 26:08
  amount of the separation he has created with not just me, but people in
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  his family. He's not even allowed to go back to this city. That's
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  how bad it is. Yeah, the family is not allowing him to come
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  where he is because he just causes so much separation and that's who that's that's
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  the kind of person he is. And before I see it, I called
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  his mom, and before then we had it out because he would tell me
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  stuff about her that she did to him, And of course I believe him
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  and I don't know her, so I'm mad at her and going in on
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  her because he's this way because you did it. It is even if that
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  was the case, he's an adult. He never took responsibility nor countability for
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  the behaviors of today, not when he was seven, not when he was
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  five, not at eleven, not at fifteen. After eighteen, he didn't
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  start his own his own healing. So I caught mom that day crying,
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  I'm in a car. I'm just like, mind you, he's not in
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  town. He's a truck driver. Sorry, Keith, you don't know,
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  but he's a truck driver. So he's not even with me most of the
• 27:27
  time. So imagine somebody not with you most of the time. But it's
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  domestic, you get what I'm saying. But when her he even though physically
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  he's not there and he's still trying to had the power over you. Oh
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  he had it. He had it for three years. He did for three
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  years up until August thirty, twenty twenty, he did, and I caught
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  his mom and I was just trying. I was just like, why is
• 27:59
  your son acting like this? What is going on? What like what happened
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  to him as a child? Like he told me this, this and this,
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  and this was my first time telling her what he told me. Okay,
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  he was abused by her and you beat him and just crazy stuff.
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  Yeah, he was telling me about his family. I was abused and he's
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  a victim again. And like I said, I would never know the truth
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  because I don't talk to them because he calls that separation. I don't talk
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  to them, so I wouldn't even know the truth. Okay, but he
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  plays the victim so much. But even if that was the kid, mom
• 28:40
  didn't have the resources to to mother correctly as a black woman in the community
• 28:45
  in the South. Okay, she beats you. Everybody get beating this?
• 28:49
  Okay today, what's the what's the excuse? You can't use mommy as the
• 28:59
  excuse anymore. But that's ther I wanted to And mind you, I start
• 29:07
  to cuss her out because of the things he told me. So now don't
• 29:11
  be mad at her because I'm confused. While he's behaving this way, I'm
• 29:15
  all kind of bitches and this is being text you stupid bitch when I come
• 29:18
  home. Yes, I'm gonna do this to you. I'm gonna do that
• 29:22
  to you. But it was never physical. So it goes back to someone
• 29:27
  threatening me but never put a hand on me. And I knew from the
• 29:30
  hood, and I'm so, I don't take thrists, I don't take drists
• 29:37
  lightly. I don't care who you are. I don't care if your grandma.
• 29:40
  I don't care if you're uncle. I don't care if you're onty.
• 29:42
  I don't take them well. I don't care if you blood. So you
• 29:45
  thought you was gonna threaten me, and then I was gonna take lately.
• 29:49
  So that's when it became. I knew then before the marriage. I knew
• 29:55
  then. Something inside of me was like, Okay, are you sure of
• 30:03
  first, I'm gonna just do it because I'm broken and it's not the it's
• 30:07
  not the last resort. But where else am I going at this point and
• 30:11
  I'm already divorced. It's really nothing else, you know. He's telling me
• 30:18
  he's gonna do this. He has done these things before this, He has
• 30:22
  been taken care of us. He has been taken care of me and my
• 30:25
  son. We did get these things didn't happen, but the behavior wasn't lining
• 30:30
  up. The words wasn't lining up with how he says, I'm a queen,
• 30:36
  oh my queen, I missed you, my queen, and I love
• 30:38
  you. Those words. I didn't see the actions from those words. The
• 30:44
  actions and the words weren't matched. It's almost like me saying, oh,
• 30:48
  yeah, see it's sunny outside, but me and you both standing on the
• 30:52
  balcon and it's rain drenched in water, we drenched, drink. I'm watching
• 31:00
  you drip, you watching me drip. And then we're saying it's eighty nine
• 31:04
  degrees in the sun. Absolutely, but we got this from the storm head
• 31:10
  it all way. But I'm telling you, no, girl, the sun
• 31:11
  is that brings supo. Sit on that patio, so your feet the science.
• 31:18
  You're a bitch, You're a hole. I'm I'm gonna fuck you up
• 31:21
  when I get back. You know, to town what it is. But
• 31:27
  you don't carry him say when we're saying, so you've had this comment.
• 31:34
  Okay, so he's called you all kind of bitches and holes. He's gonna
• 31:38
  fuck you up when he makes it back home. All of this. You've
• 31:42
  even sat and called his mom and told his mom, oh, yeah,
• 31:45
  you know you beat him. You know this, that and the third.
• 31:48
  Oh, but she told me not to marry him. She didn't so she
• 31:52
  And that was my question, what does this mom say? She didn't say
• 31:57
  no, don't marry him, but when she was saying, I knew what
• 32:00
  she was saying. His demons are going to ruin your life. Yeah.
• 32:07
  So yeah, on that too, because like I told you from the beginning,
• 32:15
  I'm being a spiritual person. So it's deeper than deeper than I'm smiling
• 32:22
  because I'm because as I'm talking about it, I'm it's so much being revealed
• 32:27
  to me. You know what I'm saying. This is my first time talking
• 32:30
  about it out loud. I So you you you you go with this,
• 32:37
  Keith? Okay, So I have a couple of questions. So after just
• 32:43
  mama told you not to marrying, right, so you're going married. So
• 32:47
  let me ask you this. So after the wedding or after the marriage,
• 32:52
  did you have contact with the mom? Again? It's so it did,
• 32:55
  So what was the conversation after that? Oh, everybody's happy because now he's
• 33:04
  my problem. You get it. So mama told you, Oh, her
• 33:13
  son had told you from in a roundabout way without directly telling you, do
• 33:17
  not marry him. He's demonic. He's got demons and it's gonna worry you.
• 33:23
  So what my So when you marry him. Oh, I was the
• 33:27
  best daughter in law and all because we weren't always talking. He would sometimes
• 33:35
  be her friend and then she was all kind of bitches and stupid bitches.
• 33:38
  And oh he was all his mother and texts was stupid bitches. And when
• 33:47
  I see you, I'm going to do this, this and this to you.
• 33:51
  His his grand mothers. It makes me so disgusted to my stomach to
• 33:58
  say it was all kinds of bitch is And when I see you, bitch,
• 34:01
  I'm going to do this, this and this to you. Yes,
• 34:05
  not just me. That's why I said he can't go back. So so
• 34:12
  I have him now. So now everybody's my friend because it's not their problem
• 34:16
  because now you've taken the luggage from their goal and now you got to unpack
• 34:23
  it in your home. So everybody loves him. They're all, my god,
• 34:30
  Yeah, we love your girl. You've had the man you've had the
• 34:39
  wedding after this. It's crazy because, like I said, this is I'm
• 34:52
  untying the story. But this is like out loud to myself, like I
• 34:59
  write it down. I wrote it down, but to hear it out loud.
• 35:04
  I was embarrassed for three years because to him, and I'm not even
• 35:08
  doing nothing, embarrassed for his behavior for his family. I'm apologizing to his
• 35:16
  family because he's behaving this way. I'm apologizing to my family because he's behaving
• 35:22
  this way. I'm apologizing to people in Walmart because he would argue in public.
• 35:27
  I don't want to argue. I don't want people in my business.
• 35:30
  Oh he would have got here with a fucking managed jaws. I told you,
• 35:37
  Ashley, I had to get out in August thirtieth because I would have
• 35:43
  lost my children because I was tired. I'm tired of being bullied and tortured.
• 35:50
  You're not gonna do that to me. You're not gonna bullying. You're
• 35:52
  bullying me. You're you're taunting me, and you're torturing me. You have
• 35:58
  sold my keys and locked me in my house for three days and I can't
• 36:00
  get my key from you because we're married and in the state of Florida.
• 36:07
  It's civil. There's no there's no right or wrong. When you're married,
• 36:14
  there's no it's yours and it's you. It's y'all. It's absolutely it's y'all
• 36:21
  one. Even though even if one name is on it, y'all are still
• 36:27
  on it. It's still both of y'alls. Absolutely, I couldn't understand it.
• 36:32
  I couldn't understand it. So year one year one, let me ask
• 36:43
  you this, and I'm gonna shoot straight from me. Did it get worse?
• 36:52
  Did it get worse for you? Year one year one? Other married?
• 37:00
  It got worse because I left the in the midst of the first in
• 37:07
  the year, so we only it's only been it's only it wasn't even it
• 37:12
  was I say three years because it really felt that long we were married.
• 37:15
  Since it's only twenty twenty, it's gonna be two years. Wasn't two years
• 37:20
  this past except September, it just passed our anniversary. Two year anniversary just
• 37:28
  passed. We didn't we got a promise. Somebody laughing. And when I
• 37:31
  say the money, oh, I see the man is dry your damn right,
• 37:36
  And I listen with a good listen. I wanted to drag his big
• 37:47
  ass because I told you where I'm from, size don't matter, and he
• 37:52
  knew that. And that's where I'm getting through because after a year I started
• 37:55
  to get physical. Yeah, something's coming out of me that was never in
• 38:00
  me. Now you're making me beat your ass because you keep calling me out
• 38:07
  of my name. Stop calling me out of my name. I keep saying,
• 38:09
  stop calling me out of my name. That's all I keep saying.
• 38:13
  I appreciate you you don't call me out my name, but I've seen it
• 38:15
  too much. And if I become so angry that I'm going to hitching me,
• 38:21
  absolutely, he want that. He wanted me to hit him. Becau
• 38:28
  was almost like, because you know, poking and aunt mound, it's just
• 38:34
  like when you take a stick and you keep poking and poking and poking and
• 38:37
  poking, eventually answer gonna bite you. So that's what he was waiting.
• 38:42
  So it was almost I think, and I'm gonna literally continue the story.
• 38:46
  I think what he was trying to do he wanted you to provoke him because
• 38:52
  I think he really truly ends on you. But he just didn't have a
• 38:58
  reason to a coward move. So you called me out of my name,
• 39:02
  want me to react, for you to hit me. Yeah, that's what
• 39:06
  you're saying, like, oh, because I beat that ass and he ain't
• 39:08
  nothing. So I went up that upside. I had a few times.
• 39:15
  That's what he is, A fucking pau puk on a Now, bitch,
• 39:22
  your mama gonna get a kitchen and box with your balls in it. Oh
• 39:27
  oh, I'm sorrying says a whole, big punk big for no reason talking
• 39:34
  all that ship. And when I went upside that head, that man was
• 39:37
  quiet. I can't understand why I got it. He couldn't believe he was
• 39:42
  shocked. He was shocked. I couldn't believe it. But the first year
• 39:52
  it got worse. My mom passed away. In our first year, my
• 39:58
  mom was that that my world, that was she was my best friend.
• 40:01
  She was my ghost fool. And in the midst of meeting him being together,
• 40:07
  I never I never talked about marrying him to her because while we were
• 40:14
  in our marriage, because that's how sick he is, my mom was dying
• 40:16
  of cancer. My mom. Do you know he called her multiple times talking
• 40:24
  about I'm doing this to him. Your daughter is acting like my mom is
• 40:29
  dying up. You understand what I'm saying, keemo. My mom was sick.
• 40:36
  She's the matriarch of my family. Nobody has never seen my mom sick
• 40:40
  ever, So cancer blew my entire family. It blew my family. My
• 40:46
  family will never be the same because my mom is not here. This man
• 40:52
  called her, harassing her about I don't even know, because my mom never
• 41:00
  even setting me things to me because she knows her daughter or she. I
• 41:04
  remember him telling me like, after our arguments, you know we weren't arguing,
• 41:08
  we were we were cool, me and him when we didn't argue,
• 41:12
  So the time where we were cool, he would tell me, like your
• 41:14
  mom. The only thing she could tell me is like, just just you
• 41:19
  know, my daughter is strong. Just give her some time, just you
• 41:22
  know, give her space, give her time. He could never leave me
• 41:25
  alone. Just give me space. I just need time. Let me take
• 41:32
  a walk, let me take a break. I'll talk to you. But
• 41:36
  right now I don't want to talk. What you call him my sick mom.
• 41:40
  You don't need respect. It's not even her business. We're married,
• 41:45
  that's between us. That has nothing to do with my sick mom. And
• 41:50
  you don't even love me enough to respect my mother, my mom. But
• 41:55
  I know you don't because you don't respect yours right out of my mind,
• 42:00
  because you don't respect yours. No, his grandmother at that exactly, she
• 42:07
  was helping us in our financial needs with thousands of dollars and she still was
• 42:10
  bitches. So I just and I'm going in and out of the time trains.
• 42:17
  But my year when when my mom passed, was our first year of
• 42:22
  marriage where I thought I was gonna have my husband carried me through this,
• 42:29
  through this time. I thought he was gonna be my strength. I thought
• 42:32
  he was gonna I thought he was gonna be my strength. But I left
• 42:37
  him. I left him. We came back to Florida together after my mom
• 42:42
  passed up. I stayed there a few months just getting stuff together and came
• 42:45
  back home with him. I left him because I was going to go crazy,
• 42:51
  because you're trying to deal with this marriage. You know, this this
• 42:57
  broke You're you're trying to deal with this broken and this dysfunctional that yours.
• 43:06
  So I have siblings home. Who wants My brother's handicapped, twenty one years
• 43:10
  old, bed bounce ciriple palsy, my sister is twelve years old, my
• 43:16
  mother's children. I'm talking about I'm the oldest, so I have a major
• 43:21
  responsibility with my mom wasft. Now you got It's almost like like me and
• 43:28
  Keish will always use this analogy. It's almost like going to a buffet,
• 43:32
  and you know when the first thing you do when you're going to the buffet,
• 43:36
  you want to eat, You want to try everything that's at on the
• 43:38
  buffet table. So what you've done sis you got this plate that already has
• 43:45
  the let me say Thanksgiving, let me use Thanksgiving. So you've got this
• 43:51
  plate already that's got your turkey and ham. You got turkey and ham,
• 43:54
  turkey and ham. Then you're loading it on with a green You're loading it
• 44:00
  on with the macaroni. You're loading it on with the cranberries, sauce,
• 44:04
  you're loading it on with the deviled eggs, the dressing, and you're trying
• 44:07
  to eat it all at one time. And now you've made yourself sick.
• 44:10
  Stick the stust it. I want to throw up now because you you're you're
• 44:16
  eating the food from his issues mine amongst you trying to deal with your own
• 44:24
  issues. Now here you eat. Now you're stuffing yourself, but you are
• 44:30
  you're already stuffed because your ship is sitting right. It is there exactly.
• 44:34
  So you piled on the greens, the dressing on top of this turkey ham
• 44:40
  and deviled eggs. You didn't felipp and then ate already. Then you have
• 44:45
  your siblings. You're dealing with the passing of your mother. So here you
• 44:51
  are, you didn't lord it. More so, now here you are to
• 44:52
  where the ship is sitting in your chest, and now you taste it kind
• 44:59
  of regurgence, and you're trying to make it come up, but you can't
• 45:04
  get it to come up because it's stuck. It's almost like your digestive it's
• 45:09
  your digestive system, you know, when you don't booboy in it and that
• 45:15
  ship trial and this is what you were doing. Mh. And you get
• 45:21
  sick on you get nauseous when you don't sit well. I know when I
• 45:23
  don't shit, girl, I got the latter sucked out. Don't call me
• 45:30
  in the day, I listen. I gotta take some time. I need
• 45:34
  to drink some ginger or somebody. I gotta do something because I don't feel
• 45:37
  well. I got to get these pills in the trade, because that's becauses's
• 45:46
  shit sitting here in my chest, it's not good, so so much clutter,
• 45:52
  so much, so much, and I didn't And that's where I knew
• 46:00
  I had to go. I knew I had to go even then when I
• 46:05
  left, Okay, two thousand eighteen, that's it's like two thousand and eighteen.
• 46:10
  I knew I had to go. I left. I left in two
• 46:13
  thousand and eighteen. I left in April. I left in April. I
• 46:15
  left him. My mom died in November. I left in April. When
• 46:19
  I got back to Florida and I went to a shelter, I got my
• 46:22
  ship, the little bit of shit I could fit in storage. I didn't
• 46:25
  give a fuck about nothing. I was left. I have a lot of
• 46:28
  shit, but the shit I didn't want. I took the ship I needed,
• 46:31
  I took me and my sons stuff, and I went to the closest
• 46:35
  domestic vitalance shelter that I can go through because I had to get out and
• 46:39
  he wasn't even there when I left. He was on the road. I
• 46:43
  had to leave because even in the home, I still felt a bondage when
• 46:49
  he wasn't there. Yeah, so I'm in my home, he's on the
• 46:54
  road, and I'm still stuck I'm still stuck mentally, and it drove me
• 47:07
  crazy because that we had an argument right before he went back on a role
• 47:10
  when we got back to Florida, and the argument it didn't make sense to
• 47:15
  me. It was about his passing father, who passed away seven years ago
• 47:22
  at that time. My mom passed at that time, several months ago,
• 47:28
  a few months ago. But he's mad at me because I forgot about his
• 47:31
  dad's birthday. Excuse I didn't acknowledge his father's birthday. You didn't acknowledge none
• 47:44
  of the fucking shit I just went through for months from November to April.
• 47:47
  Was my mother. If he wanted to acknowledgement, he would never called your
• 47:51
  mom while she was dying. And I'm telling her what you're doing, how
• 47:58
  inconsidering, you know how angry that will make me? Like, I'm talking
• 48:01
  about some sets you on fire, your type stuff, some burning bear far
• 48:07
  or Falster type ship. I had to leave the apartment. Do you understand
• 48:14
  what I'm saying. I was running around the apartment holding I had dreads in
• 48:19
  twenty eighteen in the middle. I know we saw a pit too. I
• 48:22
  had him in the middle of my back. I wanted to rip all of
• 48:25
  them out of my head, running around the house holding them screaming. This
• 48:31
  was our first fight before he won the role at him, I'm going to
• 48:35
  rip my hair rout if you don't leave me alone. Because he loved my
• 48:37
  hair. He loved my hair that much that he stopped arguing with me for
• 48:43
  me to keep my hair, for me to keep my hair, he left
• 48:47
  me alone. I threatened him back, and I will cut these dregs off
• 48:51
  if you don't leave me alone. And he left me alone. I couldn't
• 48:55
  believe. I still to this day. But it's funny because when he was
• 49:00
  harassing me a few weeks ago, he kept saying to me, I wish
• 49:04
  you had your dress. Still, you were better. You were better when
• 49:06
  you had your dress. I like that. When she had no Tita was
• 49:10
  stupid for it. For the time when she met you this she wasn't woked.
• 49:16
  I wasn't woked. Yes, a way to play five and he when
• 49:24
  the fire department come knock on the door and they say, man, missing
• 49:29
  illegal to burn anything other than trash. It is trash more than trash.
• 49:37
  A big coward, that's all. He's a big coward. And you know
• 49:42
  that just a loser. I used to say to him, who do you
• 49:50
  think you were hard? Because in the midst of because in the midst of
• 49:53
  me going through this, like I said, it was never physical and I'm
• 49:58
  I'm I'm still trying to keep my my strength in the midst of it because
• 50:01
  I'm strong. That's that's I've seen nothing but strength. It wasn't It's just
• 50:08
  so hard to explain. How did that stay? That's like because that was
• 50:16
  that was definitely I was actually gonna roll into let me because you you didn't
• 50:24
  hit on what were the triggers for him? What was like? What wasn't
• 50:34
  giving him my attention? I had to fully give him all of my attentions.
• 50:39
  I couldn't have friends, I couldn't have family, I couldn't have I
• 50:45
  couldn't have a job. I didn't have a job for two years. And
• 50:49
  he used to tell you that to me, you don't have this, you
• 50:52
  grow bitch. But people all about when I think that we're when when I
• 50:58
  think we're on one accord, or about building a business and oh, be
• 51:01
  a stay at home mom, because like I said, he made enough money
• 51:05
  for me to stay home, so it was oh, they when it was
• 51:12
  good terms they don't worry about We're getting you. Get this, starts your
• 51:15
  business, do this this good stuff. But the week later it was literally
• 51:20
  every I couldn't understand. I'm just like who, like what's wrong? Like
• 51:24
  where are you? I used to ask him that where are you? Not?
• 51:28
  Who are you? Weird? So I want to ask some questions because
• 51:36
  this reminds me of action stories. Did you suspect him of doing any drugs?
• 51:44
  So everybody asks me that that knows the story. It's only a few
• 51:49
  in my family that knows what I'm going through. So I kept it righting
• 51:52
  on between people that knows my my rooms that are making those that know,
• 51:55
  and they asked seen on drugs? And it's crazy because we used to argue
• 52:01
  and he used to get cotton mouth here like white would just create hair,
• 52:07
  and you know he smoked weed, but it wasn't. It was more than
• 52:13
  that to me, even the grind mouse. And but it started making sense
• 52:17
  when the money started to become short too in our marriage. But now we
• 52:21
  started to struggle with bills and I didn't know, mind you, I don't,
• 52:24
  I don't. I'm trying to let you be the man because I was
• 52:29
  argument too. You don't let me leave because I'm so strong and I'm so
• 52:31
  independent. You don't let me do this, you don't let me do that.
• 52:36
  Okay, but I'm not working what ever you want me to do.
• 52:37
  Now, I'm being this obedient because I'm not listening. Now, I'm I'm
• 52:40
  so, I'm not your child. I don't know what you want from me.
• 52:43
  I'm your white So I don't know if you know what a wife and
• 52:45
  a husband is. But the role that he's seen from his father and his
• 52:51
  mother who was married, they talked to each other all kind of ways and
• 52:54
  in front of the kids, and you stupid bitch and mess up the house
• 52:59
  and break shit and bull shit out and then be in the same bed in
• 53:04
  a few hours, fucking and sucking. I don't do that. I'm not
• 53:08
  touching you, and you're not touching me because you're treating me like I'm on
• 53:15
  the streets. So we're gonna act like we're on the streets because that's how
• 53:17
  you're treating me. But so he just he just never I never seen him
• 53:29
  you. But even I mean first with jobs and stuff, you could buy
• 53:34
  fake yearins. So it was like he could never go take a drug test
• 53:37
  and I'd be like, Oh, what's in your system? Because it would
• 53:39
  you know it's not You knew it was wed. I just knew. He
• 53:44
  smoothed me. But truck driving that you we all know the truck driving life.
• 53:51
  We all know different states. I've seen it. I've been out there.
• 53:53
  I know how to get down. I know what you'll do when y'all
• 53:55
  shut down. I know, I know that way. I know what you
• 53:59
  can get at it at an eyelid. I know she could get It's easy,
• 54:04
  you know what I'm saying. So being out there for those for that
• 54:08
  amount of time and saying the things that you're saying to me if we have
• 54:12
  an argument, if you don't like something, he was so I'm gonna call
• 54:19
  it manic. Is that a word manic when you're acting with a maniac?
• 54:23
  Oh? Yeah, he was a whole Tasmania. Listen. He drove and
• 54:30
  accompany Trump the night of his dad, the whole dad thing. And I
• 54:34
  left. I left that night. So I left because he said he was
• 54:37
  coming back home from New York City. He drove the truck straight from New
• 54:43
  York City to Sparta without stopping. If I promise, I don't like to
• 54:49
  swear to God. But if I could show you tream shots of things that
• 54:54
  he was saying, I'm on my way. He the people calling, why
• 54:59
  are you driving truck? Why are you going truck? The truck is supposed
• 55:01
  to be shut down. That man was like, I'm coming to you,
• 55:04
  like he wanted me that bad that he didn't stop driving for eighteen hours in
• 55:10
  the truck a fifty three foot trailer attached to it. And they know they're
• 55:15
  only supposed to drive a certain amount of hours a day. You're working.
• 55:19
  Why are you coming back to Florida? Because I said I was leaving you,
• 55:23
  and you're that man that you don't give a fuck what you're doing in
• 55:27
  life. You sabotage your own life and you just come. That's what he
• 55:30
  does. He just I'm gonna I'm gonna come back to that. But to
• 55:35
  go back to how many he is and with jobs. He's such a fucking
• 55:38
  coward that recently before I left, he said he's gonna quit his job so
• 55:45
  I don't leave him. He's gonna stay in the house and keep me in
• 55:49
  the house. So he was gonna call his job and say he's not coming
• 55:52
  back so we could stay in the house together. That's how sick it was.
• 55:57
  Okay, I'm on, can't so for what you're telling me, and
• 56:01
  I don't walk out like the psychologist for what you were telling me. Great
• 56:08
  talking about this right now. So you intimidated him, you believe it or
• 56:16
  not, you intimidated him. He knows what a day if you can go
• 56:22
  all you needed with your own money and you don't know. Listen, we're
• 56:28
  gonna come to We're gonna now. I'm at the exit. I'm at the
• 56:30
  exit. What I'm talking about right now, I'm not in the year no
• 56:31
  more and the exit. When I was leaving more sixty plus days ago,
• 56:38
  he wanted to quit his job, making me stay in the house. The
• 56:42
  first three days. He got me in the house because he was he come
• 56:44
  home, you know recent. So he came to the house, I'm in
• 56:47
  the house. He take my key. This was the This was the ending.
• 56:51
  This was when he took the key because he knew on the road I
• 56:53
  wasn't responding. Everything was less focused on a kid. I told him I
• 56:57
  wasn't the divorce. I've been saying this for months. I've been in it
• 57:00
  since March. But he just didn't understand what I was saying, and I
• 57:02
  wasn't being nasty. What I said was as adults, because we have a
• 57:06
  child together, we're gonna do this as adults. We're not working anymore.
• 57:12
  I didn't say get out of the house. What I said was get yourself
• 57:15
  together. The door is open. You do what you gotta do. I
• 57:20
  do what I gotta do. I'll get a job from working from home because
• 57:22
  I'm not leaving my daughter. She's nursing and it's COVID. I'm gonna have
• 57:28
  to work from home when I'm going to school, so I have to be
• 57:31
  from home. I had a laptop, I have internet, I can work
• 57:35
  from home. So yeah, I'm sending him. You know, I have
• 57:40
  interviewed this day. He's on the road now. He didn't get here yet.
• 57:43
  I have one of my good friends come visit me, because at this
• 57:45
  point I knew I was leaving. I've been self healing since March. I've
• 57:52
  been reading books, I've been eating correctly, I've been exercising. I've been
• 57:54
  getting myself right since I turned thirty one. I woke up this year.
• 58:00
  So that goes into this question, is how do you get out? So
• 58:12
  and like you know, when we had our conversation and other things. A
• 58:15
  lot of women that have never experienced domestic violence relationships, it's always easy for
• 58:22
  them to say me, what did you do strategically to be able to leave?
• 58:32
  And you've been gone out sixty one days? They get out precedently.
• 58:42
  You know the movie Get Out, when the dude came out that that hypnotopic
• 58:49
  absolutely and he literally said get Like. I felt like that moment when I
• 58:54
  turned thirty one, Like I said, I'm such a spiritual person, and
• 58:59
  I my head the day before I turned thirty one, So anything about we
• 59:05
  know what I told you, I hit in my head before I turned thirty
• 59:07
  one, So all that negative energy is gone. It's gone. No,
• 59:14
  that was the time. It was almost like your light right. It was.
• 59:19
  It was like like when we talked yesterday or day before yesterday. It
• 59:23
  was like the ancestors king right, and and we're like, this is what
• 59:30
  you have to do right right. I liked it right, and it's almost
• 59:37
  like the moon right. It was. It was, you know, your
• 59:42
  retrograde. Just everything started to align line. Yes, okay, it's a
• 59:47
  place. It was the prayer though, since I'm not even gonna lie,
• 59:52
  I was praying writing for months before I got a March. March was my
• 59:57
  birthday of two twenty twenty. Before it, then, I was praying to
• 1:00:00
  God because I never want to do something that I'm not supposed to do spiritually.
• 1:00:05
  I never want to be out of line with God. Absolute is also
• 1:00:08
  in this marriage. I wasn't. I wasn't reaping like I used to.
• 1:00:13
  I wasn't I missed thirty. I don't want I wasn't being blessed anymore.
• 1:00:21
  You get what I'm saying. Negative energy I had around me. I couldn't.
• 1:00:27
  God couldn't allow me to align, and nothing colign up, nothing tolign
• 1:00:34
  up in my life, and I would never forget. I like I cut
• 1:00:39
  my hair off and I was right into God and I was telling him like
• 1:00:44
  if, if, this is not for me, because I thought my daughter
• 1:00:45
  was the savior. It goes back to that first year I got pregnant.
• 1:00:50
  In our first year after I left him, I ended up pregnant. Find
• 1:00:52
  out I was pregnant literally two weeks and a shelter I was two weeks.
• 1:00:57
  I was six weeks pregnant as domestic violence shelter with a with an injunction against
• 1:01:00
  my husband fighting with him street like I couldn't understand why I was pregnant.
• 1:01:07
  I have an eleven year old. They told me I wasn't gonna have kids
• 1:01:10
  no more. In my first marriage, I went through fertility, fertility to
• 1:01:15
  try to have this man's baby, and it didn't work. My second marriage,
• 1:01:19
  I was blessed with my baby girl, who I never thought I would
• 1:01:22
  see. I didn't think I would have a daughter. I didn't think I
• 1:01:24
  would have children ever. Again, you can tell me I would have more
• 1:01:28
  child. I was okay with me and my son. That was your life.
• 1:01:31
  That was that was That was the the star that you needed to see
• 1:01:38
  because you're gone through this. Now you had this beautiful baby. You cut
• 1:01:46
  your hair. Your stars are now finally aligned. Because God would let me
• 1:01:54
  tell you something. God will continue to break you down to need him.
• 1:02:00
  Yep, yep. God don't need us. We need him, you understand.
• 1:02:06
  So that's why God continued to take you through this. Because I asked
• 1:02:13
  him. I did. I wish I had my journalist here because I was.
• 1:02:16
  I would literally read my entry and I asked him and I started to
• 1:02:22
  speak life into myself because for years I was so I just gave upon me.
• 1:02:30
  It was just about him. I forgot about myself and I'm not that
• 1:02:34
  that's not me. And people that know me asked me to the key to
• 1:02:37
  wood where you at? I'm always on social media. I had to deactivate
• 1:02:43
  my Facebook because of him because he was just all over it and same things
• 1:02:49
  to me and same things to my family, and I had to get off.
• 1:02:53
  He ran me off out of my life that I lived. He ran
• 1:02:58
  me away from my life. Get let me. I'm telling you when I
• 1:03:07
  that that thirty when I turned thirty one, and it wasn't just like I
• 1:03:13
  knew. I knew when the prayer got answered. I was scared now because
• 1:03:17
  I didn't have the plan. I was scared because the financial part was was
• 1:03:22
  was? That was my scary part. What am I gonna do? How
• 1:03:24
  am I gonna do this? Because he was he was he was it.
• 1:03:30
  He was cash at me this, I need to pay this cash at this
• 1:03:35
  I didn't have to work, So I started to apply a march. So
• 1:03:43
  okay, so since I got to come up with this plan, because I'm
• 1:03:45
  telling him, listen at this point, I'm silent. No more arguing from
• 1:03:49
  me. I didn't argue after merch Oh you could get an argument after me,
• 1:03:52
  so that bugged him out. You're not behaving how you used to behave,
• 1:03:57
  So now I'm chalking. I'm cheating because I'm not arguing. So let
• 1:04:00
  me ask you this. When you made the decision and you said, you
• 1:04:04
  know what, I gotta fucking go, did you tell him you weren't leaving
• 1:04:11
  or you just I never said I was leaving. I always said I was
• 1:04:15
  just gonna get a divorce. I never I always said I'm gonna get a
• 1:04:17
  divorce. But we could be adults about it. I always kept it because
• 1:04:20
  with him, you can't because he'll back, he'll he don't, he don't
• 1:04:26
  stop, so for me, because I don't like to go back and first
• 1:04:30
  absolutely, okay, so I'm gonna be quiet. What I'm gona it's gonna
• 1:04:34
  be. I want a divorce, but I want to do it like a
• 1:04:38
  gough. And he couldn't understand why I was so calm, so he thought
• 1:04:43
  I was leaving for someone else. You're not. It's somebody else you're I
• 1:04:47
  don't want to argue no more. I'm done with being called a bitch.
• 1:04:51
  I'm done with being treated like a peasant because I'm such a queen to you,
• 1:04:54
  because now I'm a queen, queen, this queen, but I'm being
• 1:04:58
  treated like a peasant. So I'm confused. But I didn't say. I
• 1:05:02
  didn't say. I never said I'm leaving you. I never told him that.
• 1:05:06
  I always said that we're gonna get a divorce, but we're gonna be
• 1:05:08
  adults about it, and we're gonna do it correctly. It's almost like sleeping
• 1:05:12
  with the enemy that movie with Julia Roberts. Yes, she's strategically playing everything
• 1:05:18
  out right. She worked this little part time job and save her money and
• 1:05:27
  took a little bit of his. And he started calling me all kind of
• 1:05:32
  thieves. But I said, you call me a thieves because I said I
• 1:05:34
  needed money for the rent. No, I took that to help pay for
• 1:05:38
  the divorce because I kept telling you to pay for it, and you're telling
• 1:05:42
  me. Mind you, he's saying he don't want to be with me.
• 1:05:44
  It's not that he's saying he wants to be with me. But then in
• 1:05:46
  the midst of everything, he's saying that I'm wasting his time. I'm on
• 1:05:50
  a short like what he used to say, I'm onnafend line. I'm gonna
• 1:05:55
  send line. I'm like who the like, I don't want to send line,
• 1:06:00
  who are you? I'm gonna send line? I know, like I
• 1:06:06
  was like trying to figure out, like what the hell do you mean?
• 1:06:10
  What do you mean? End? Like I don't what the fuck is that
• 1:06:15
  supposed to me? I don't care, but that these are the things that
• 1:06:18
  so when you imagine someone saying these things and the response, I'm not No.
• 1:06:23
  I was never like oh baby, oh no, I was never that
• 1:06:28
  never that woman soul he like you said he was? He he that mean,
• 1:06:39
  he couldn't handle me. So when I told when I finally left,
• 1:06:44
  because how I left was went on his break. So he's off on his
• 1:06:47
  break from work for three days. I'm in three days. He take the
• 1:06:51
  key. I'm acting like you know Coo posted egg, you know, I
• 1:06:56
  know, like you know he gotta go in the morning, and in my
• 1:07:00
  mind, I know he has to go on. So I'm just playing the
• 1:07:02
  pool. We get into an arguments and fights of course the Three Knights.
• 1:07:04
  I call the Tops and they can't do anything to mediate. I'm not just
• 1:07:08
  asking them to mediate because I know where this is gonna go. I call
• 1:07:12
  him Friday and I told him he's gonna get out of control. I know
• 1:07:15
  that he was acting out of control with the officers. He don't care.
• 1:07:17
  You don't care about authority. But what I don't understand this? And then
• 1:07:23
  I do understand because you're in Florida. You know, like I'm telling he's
• 1:07:29
  you know, we were talking about Marissa Alexander. I'm pretty sure you're very
• 1:07:33
  for me and you with who she is. That's the black lady in Florida
• 1:07:36
  who's baby daddy had jumped on her, was beating on her, and she
• 1:07:41
  woman shot in the house and they arrested her. Hold on, let me,
• 1:07:50
  I want to pull it up. While you're pulling up. That's funny
• 1:07:55
  you said that because the officer told me if he had if he come back
• 1:07:59
  here was the friday he was there for three days. He if he come
• 1:08:02
  back to our home and there's anyone that has been like some kind of domestic
• 1:08:08
  going on, we're both getting the rested and we're gonna lose our children.
• 1:08:12
  And what city in Florida? You're in Jacksonville, right, Okay? Because
• 1:08:16
  I want you to finish your story. So Marissa Alexander, I want her
• 1:08:21
  to remember this name. It made two thousand and twelve thirty one year old
• 1:08:28
  Marissa Alexander was prosecuted for aggravated assault with a lethal weapon and received a mandatory
• 1:08:34
  minimum sentence of twenty years in prison. Alexander said that she fired a warning
• 1:08:42
  shot after her husband attacked her and threatened to kill her on August first,
• 1:08:48
  two and ten in Jacksonville, Florida. What I believe it. I mean,
• 1:08:57
  obviously it's real, but her babies were upstairs when this was going on.
• 1:09:04
  It wasn't like she had the gun and pointed it Adam. She fired
• 1:09:09
  in the air to scare him, right, and he was beating her and
• 1:09:20
  admitting if I'm not I she's out. I believe she's out because let me
• 1:09:39
  see. Wow, let me see, because so what happened was Alexander who
• 1:09:48
  had a history of suffering domestic violence from Green which is the baby that husband,
• 1:09:56
  and obtained the restraining order. She had a restraining order. Wow,
• 1:10:00
  you know, it's funny. They are trying to make me that's funny.
• 1:10:06
  They can't serve him. They've been looking for him for sixty days. So
• 1:10:11
  they're saying that they want me to just drop the junction. No. I
• 1:10:16
  said, uh no, no, no, because you don't want to do.
• 1:10:24
  They don't want to work. They don't want to work. A problem,
• 1:10:27
  and wan my officer is black. And then the most racist ones.
• 1:10:35
  Listen. The ninth I left, a black officer came and told me he
• 1:10:43
  could not help me. I said, officer, it's four o'clock in the
• 1:10:46
  morning. I'm barefoot the outside my home. I'm barefoot the outside my house.
• 1:10:50
  My daughter has just been snatched out of my hand at three o'clock in
• 1:10:54
  the morning. She's a nursing baby, she's teething. My daughter was snatched
• 1:10:59
  off of me. We were sleeping. He snatched my daughter off. I
• 1:11:02
  couldn't take it. I had to leave the house because she was crying.
• 1:11:06
  He don't care. He just didn't care. So I had to walk out
• 1:11:10
  of the house. You say that, o me, and will try to
• 1:11:16
  use their kids, the kids to get to the woman. You say that,
• 1:11:25
  listen, he will take my daughter from me. He will literally talk
• 1:11:30
  to her. Your mother is a bitch, mind you. She's not even
• 1:11:32
  one yet. She's not even one yet. He tells my kids had him
• 1:11:38
  a kind of bitches. He tells the kids that he will stop talking to
• 1:11:41
  me, arguing with me, and walk to the kids room and talk to
• 1:11:45
  them. They're kids, they're kids. But the night I left, it
• 1:11:53
  was four o'clock in the morning. I had to leave my home because I
• 1:11:58
  was going to take his life because you're playing with my kids. Now it's
• 1:12:03
  been three days I have called for help. The first day, they didn't
• 1:12:08
  help me. They didn't ask me to get a restraining order, they didn't
• 1:12:13
  do anything for me. They told me they couldn't help me because it was
• 1:12:16
  civil because he was my husband. And what all the difference does that make.
• 1:12:24
  I don't even know what that means. My name was on the least
• 1:12:27
  only he was not on my lease. They said, it doesn't matter.
• 1:12:30
  That's your husband, it's civil paper. He had my key. I finally
• 1:12:35
  got my key back. I finally got my key back a day later.
• 1:12:40
  Okay, after you know, me pretending to be his friend, laughing.
• 1:12:45
  Why do I have to do that? Why do I have to pretend?
• 1:12:47
  And I will just call all kind of bum bitches and you stupid bitch,
• 1:12:51
  and then he'll bring up the shelter situation and call me a shelter bitch,
• 1:12:56
  and yeah, but I'm in the shelter because I'm trying to get away from
• 1:13:00
  you at home. But he don't. That's not on his mind. I'm
• 1:13:03
  it's me. So that's the second day, Saturday, Sunday, I didn't
• 1:13:11
  call. I didn't call the cops this time. I didn't call the cops
• 1:13:14
  this side. My best friend calls from another state. She called them and
• 1:13:20
  said that I was in trouble. They came to my home four o'clock in
• 1:13:29
  the morning. I'm standing outside. I didn't know she called them. So
• 1:13:31
  I see them come and I'm like, why are they coming? I never
• 1:13:34
  called these I never called them because they didn't help me on Friday, so
• 1:13:38
  I'm not calling them back. At this point, I have to take matters
• 1:13:41
  into my own hand because I called authority because I needed help and they told
• 1:13:45
  me they couldn't help me. They told me. So I'm outside of my
• 1:13:49
  home and I'm I'm furious. I'm not sad because at this point I'm done
• 1:13:55
  and I'm really contemplating. Okay, I have children. I'm I'm enraged.
• 1:14:01
  These cops are here. The officers get out. As the officer, I
• 1:14:06
  just want him out of my house. It's been two days. He's been
• 1:14:11
  taunting me, harassing me. Told him I called you guys. I'm Friday,
• 1:14:15
  and they knew the story because they've seen the call, so everything they
• 1:14:19
  knew because I called more than once on Friday. I was too tired.
• 1:14:24
  I was done. I don't even like you were drained. You couldn't go
• 1:14:28
  anymore. It was like it was. It was It's like you know a
• 1:14:31
  battery that you put it on control and no matter how, just keep pushing
• 1:14:38
  a button. That channel is not gonna change. No, it's not coming
• 1:14:42
  on. And I was done, and I would never forget that. It
• 1:14:45
  was two officers. They got out and they walked towards me. I'm beer
• 1:14:50
  footed outside. I'm telling them the story. I'm telling them what happened.
• 1:14:54
  I'm telling them just going backwards. I'm not even upset. I just want
• 1:14:58
  to be in my home, my children. I don't just by myself.
• 1:15:01
  Please get him out. He has a truck in front of my home.
• 1:15:04
  He can leave, literally and give me space if that's the case, give
• 1:15:09
  me to myself. But this is what I'm saying to the officer, But
• 1:15:14
  can you please remove him? Removes him. Can't do nothing, he said.
• 1:15:19
  Clop said, sorry, we can't do anything. That's your husband.
• 1:15:23
  You know Friday, you know they came and it's nothing that we can do.
• 1:15:27
  It's a civil matter, So please leave because now I'm England. So
• 1:15:32
  my my thing is what would I mean, like, what do you have
• 1:15:35
  to do? Brush you on the fucking heads? And young? Why the
• 1:15:41
  something what you were saying? I just feel like, now at this point,
• 1:15:46
  they have to come up with a program to protect women, no matter
• 1:15:49
  what it is, married or not, because women, what have you over
• 1:15:54
  here? Getting abuse? What if people actually right? What they're still be
• 1:16:00
  a civil medal? Would if he killed me? A civil matter? And
• 1:16:04
  that's what and that's what I kept. I said that to him, I
• 1:16:06
  said, what does it take for me to call and say I just got
• 1:16:11
  shot in my stomach? Or he just like, what what does it take
• 1:16:16
  for me to get help? That's what I was asking because I need help
• 1:16:20
  because at this point this man is he has he just took control. I
• 1:16:26
  can't do anything at this moment. So they left, so I went back
• 1:16:31
  in the house called it. Uber already had in my mind where I was
• 1:16:39
  going, I had my destination. This this was months of planning. Now
• 1:16:43
  I already knew what I was getting out already, you know, I spiritually
• 1:16:46
  I already got my answer God told me it's okay to ly because I beat
• 1:16:50
  myself up for a lot of stuff because I'm not perfect, but I'm very
• 1:16:56
  I'm a perfectionist. And anything I do, whether it's a marriage, it's
• 1:16:59
  a job, it's a bit, whatever it is, I want to do
• 1:17:01
  it and give it more than one hundred percent. I don't want to be
• 1:17:04
  that person to give. I don't believe in fifty fifty. It's a hundred
• 1:17:10
  and a hundred. We give our all. And I already knew. I
• 1:17:15
  knew I was done. So when they told me they couldn't help me,
• 1:17:18
  I took what I could and gotten uber and went to my destination. It
• 1:17:24
  was it wasn't even a fight because I think he just he didn't know,
• 1:17:34
  but he knew. He didn't knew I wasn't coming back because I came back
• 1:17:39
  last time. So in his mind, okay, she'll be back. Oh
• 1:17:42
  yeah, she left once, she's gonna come back. We've got this baby
• 1:17:45
  together. So she ain't got no money, she ain't got no job,
• 1:17:49
  she ain't got no fucking water goal solely her family ain't helping her. So
• 1:17:57
  when you left that night, oh I came back to that apartment, was
• 1:18:02
  my apartment. So okay, that's because I thought he had to go to
• 1:18:05
  work. The next day, he had to go to work, so I
• 1:18:10
  got him to a place where it was obviously you know we're come to make
• 1:18:14
  them. Okay, it's time to go to sleep. I gotta go now.
• 1:18:19
  The next day I thought that he would be gone and I could go
• 1:18:23
  back and get my stuff. I went back and my whole parmement was vandalized.
• 1:18:29
  I had holes in the wall, mirrors. My bathroom mirror was broken.
• 1:18:33
  He cut all the chores to every electronic in the house, from the
• 1:18:39
  refrigerator to the Michael Waves, to the blender, to the waffle maker,
• 1:18:44
  to the laptop. My laptop was crushed in pieces. My mother pictures were
• 1:18:49
  cushed and crushed and in a sink with water all over. He poured bleach
• 1:18:54
  all over. All my clothes, all my children's clothes, all his daughter
• 1:18:57
  clothes, all my son's fools were side of the garbage with bleach. We
• 1:19:00
  have I mean, we're building now. Oh yeah, we're building now.
• 1:19:05
  And I think God for that, But he vandalized my all my belongings I
• 1:19:10
  have for years. That's some left I andre rise and some bit shit if
• 1:19:20
  I would have, I should have sent you pictures to pull up. I
• 1:19:26
  don't even I can't even get into that freaking thing. But no, this
• 1:19:30
  is real. He vandalized my whole apartment. Jealous, jealous because you have
• 1:19:35
  nothing. I'm talking about from every shoe I owned. Asked me how many
• 1:19:45
  speriods of shoes I have? I'm talking about I have, and I don't.
• 1:19:49
  I think. I think God where I am right now because my level
• 1:19:57
  of me I need to be the highest of you. So he thought,
• 1:20:06
  he taught. He took from me all that material ship and my sneakers and
• 1:20:10
  my shoes, and my coats and my jeans and all my clothes and all
• 1:20:15
  that material shit. I could get back pictures, I could, I could
• 1:20:19
  reprint those. I brought a new laptop when I left because I have to
• 1:20:25
  work. So you thought by crushing my laptop, I wasn't gonna get a
• 1:20:28
  job because you know I gotta work from home. Oh yeah, my laptop.
• 1:20:31
  You know I love my laptop. Matter of fact, my laptop was
• 1:20:33
  my life. But I mean, you know he did that because that was
• 1:20:38
  his way of getting to you. He would He knew exactly what buttons to
• 1:20:44
  push when it came to I knew it was important to me. And that's
• 1:20:48
  when what the abuser does. I mean, they go for things they know
• 1:20:55
  that are value to you. That's why he smashed your baby away from you,
• 1:20:59
  because that's your baby. That's likely abusive to your son because he knows
• 1:21:06
  that's what you love. Right, That's why he did everything everything I loved,
• 1:21:12
  everything I loved to attacks it. And then it just makes me look
• 1:21:15
  at him and I get I'm still angry because this is your daughter, right,
• 1:21:21
  his daughter. You for you to sit up there in destroy your daughter's
• 1:21:26
  clothes, No, she had stab wounds in her car seat, her tub,
• 1:21:31
  bathtub, on the plastic bathtub. Oh, I'm gonna okay, we
• 1:21:36
  are gonna have another section because this I have to show pictures of proof of
• 1:21:41
  what I'm saying, because we're gonna have Yeah, we're gonna have to do
• 1:21:44
  it. We're gonna have to do a part three of this. Yeah,
• 1:21:46
  we're gonna have tostage. Violence is something that people we need to talk about
• 1:21:50
  as black women. We have to did he mental you daughter? Here?
• 1:22:00
  But he's he he didn't even scare me, so all of that, like
• 1:22:04
  all of that, you've been so what like, what did you think I
• 1:22:08
  was gonna be slack? It's not even about being scared, Like, what
• 1:22:11
  do you think that I was gonna still love you after you ruined my daughters?
• 1:22:15
  You you took her bathtub classic battub bathtub and twitsched it like her bathtub
• 1:22:21
  was twisted inside out? Why did her carcy have stab wounds in it?
• 1:22:27
  Why was there stables and my son mattress? Why was there holes in the
• 1:22:30
  wall? Why was my mirror broke? Why was my shy reker and ripped
• 1:22:34
  apart like somebody was? Why was why was what? I didn't understand none
• 1:22:40
  of that because that was meant for you that he did everything to that apartment
• 1:22:46
  that he couldn't do to you. Stand is like that's you know what,
• 1:22:56
  that's you know what's that I'm bored or a dude that I will saying the
• 1:23:00
  guy that I was in a relationship when he smoked weed, But he used
• 1:23:03
  to smoke his weed dipped an embalming fluid and that's something like us of North
• 1:23:12
  Yeah down here they called the click juice sure where you know that's what And
• 1:23:19
  that's the way he would ask. It's almost like he became paranoid, right,
• 1:23:26
  like somebody's or people are out to get him. That's how he was.
• 1:23:30
  He was so disconnected from the world because even social media and friends,
• 1:23:36
  he didn't have friends like he don't have. He didn't have friends he don't
• 1:23:41
  have. Like if to go back and say, oh, tell me about
• 1:23:45
  this person he don't have that he doesn't have, like you can call and
• 1:23:49
  ask people about me, you can, you can find out about me.
• 1:23:54
  I couldn't ask anybody about him. I couldn't go on his social media and
• 1:23:59
  look up a friend. Literally, he has two followers on Instagram. That's
• 1:24:02
  a he's a social bath that he's he's destined to be on investigations, discover
• 1:24:10
  one of them shows Nightmare next Door, whatever the show is he's destined to
• 1:24:14
  be on that. I think his behavior resembles like a potential murder. And
• 1:24:23
  like I said, the my heart ist is sitting on the stab wounds in
• 1:24:27
  the car set because if he can take your baby and snatch up from you,
• 1:24:31
  I feel like he would have done something else to his own child,
• 1:24:34
  because they are many like that. Just to get to me, yes,
• 1:24:39
  just for me, though you don't care about her. You don't care about
• 1:24:43
  her. I know that. That's why he would never he would never be
• 1:24:46
  alone with her ever ever. Hang on line, I'm gonna say this.
• 1:24:51
  He would never be ability of a chance to see her because you have to
• 1:24:55
  show them the pictures he said my daughter Cary that I'm currently going to court
• 1:25:00
  for. He can't know. He's not allowed around good No, even I
• 1:25:06
  have to see literally a treatment plan, a completed treatment plan if he ever
• 1:25:13
  is around my child again. Oh no, I don't care what they said
• 1:25:18
  terror artists for for say, that's the first forty eight type ship. Hell
• 1:25:24
  yeah, he ain never told no alle on that baby. He's he's not
• 1:25:30
  ever going He's not ever going to see this unless it's on social media.
• 1:25:32
  If that that's why I said, I'm so and that's I'm so private now.
• 1:25:38
  I'm very private, and you have to be and and I understand why.
• 1:25:44
  You know, right now you're only sixty one days in being free,
• 1:25:50
  you know, and right and now, as each day rolls, bosses,
• 1:26:00
  I want you to now pour into you. That's what all I could do
• 1:26:05
  right now, says you know, because right now those babies need you.
• 1:26:13
  They I ain't doing this, not for me, This says for me.
• 1:26:18
  I leave for me. But yeah, yes, but when I say not
• 1:26:26
  for me, yes for me, because if I don't take care of me,
• 1:26:29
  I can't take care of them. Absolutely, I cannot take care of
• 1:26:31
  them. But I knew when I made that decision they were my only thoughts
• 1:26:39
  and that my children. I don't care about me, but my kids.
• 1:26:44
  When you mess with them, you fucking with the wrong kids. That's you.
• 1:26:46
  Don't fuck with my kids. That's it. That's it. Baby.
• 1:26:49
  Let me tell yourself, y'all go fund me pages for me. Y'all won't
• 1:26:54
  see me on own fucking America's the only thing I don't has to take kids
• 1:27:00
  and nobody behind my kids. I would not hesitate, I'm telling because I
• 1:27:04
  had to really think about what I was gonna do that me. It was
• 1:27:10
  either him or me. My kids are important for me, so I'm gonna
• 1:27:15
  leave in silence. I thought I was gonna come back to my home.
• 1:27:21
  It was gone. I saw how did the apartment times of that situation just
• 1:27:28
  out of honestly, because it's so fresh everything still, But they can press
• 1:27:34
  charges because of how the home that I had was through the domestic violence shelter
• 1:27:41
  they were helping from the first time so so he What he didn't understand is
• 1:27:48
  this is proper property. Is my laptop? Just like, hold on one
• 1:27:54
  second, okay, wow, you can't see you though. You were good?
• 1:28:10
  Yeah, oh go yeah, you was good. Okay, just making
• 1:28:15
  sure I can see me now. Oh yeah yeah. They because it's so
• 1:28:24
  new. They it's really they not do anything right now. They're just they
• 1:28:30
  still haven't served him because he's running from the law. He won't get seriously
• 1:28:35
  he They've been calling him, telling him, you know this is we have
• 1:28:40
  this injunction out for you for he has not appeared support, but he wanted
• 1:28:45
  harass me. I've been fake numbers, fake pages, but won't accept the
• 1:28:49
  injunction because he knows if he contexts me now, you're gonna do jail time.
• 1:28:55
  But you're harassing my family. People have made complaints and different mistakes on
• 1:28:59
  him because he harassed my grandmother. He called my family saying that I left
• 1:29:03
  him my part because this is what he does. He eat. I feel
• 1:29:06
  like the first time to call my family and said I left the house,
• 1:29:10
  our home. I'm the bad guy. She just left and I'm taking care
• 1:29:14
  of the house and she doesn't do anything and taking me for granted, and
• 1:29:19
  I'm trying to be the best man I could be. Oh, I'm gonna
• 1:29:23
  take you somewhere in a damn shoulder. Ain't for granted. Listen, he
• 1:29:27
  ain't coming back. I'm gonna take him to a hall full. Listen,
• 1:29:31
  he lucky this time. You don't understand. I'm just This time, I
• 1:29:40
  I was just. This is the second time I'm You thought I was coming
• 1:29:44
  back and like trying it again the last month. Oh, I love my
• 1:29:48
  daughter, and you know you do this. Last time, I came back
• 1:29:51
  within a certain amount of time. So that time has expired, and you're
• 1:29:56
  confused about my whereabouts, what I'm doing, how I'm doing, what I'm
• 1:30:00
  doing because you can't see anything. I don't have anything on social media.
• 1:30:02
  I don't post anything I'm doing. I don't post where I'm going. I
• 1:30:05
  don't post anything, So you will never know. Until manifestation has came to
• 1:30:11
  late you will see. But I know that I'm healing because he thinks that
• 1:30:16
  I'm so broken, I'm so out of it, I'm so lost. He
• 1:30:19
  had my family thinking I was in the streets doing drugs, and that's said.
• 1:30:26
  You know that your life has to be that way, that you have
• 1:30:30
  to almost live in like a box with no windows, you know, and
• 1:30:36
  then a cell it's a prison cell absolutely that you have to say in twenty
• 1:30:42
  three hours of the day and have that one hour to come, you know,
• 1:30:45
  to come in. And I pray that once this storm passes that you're
• 1:30:55
  able to at least look out of one window, you know, and then
• 1:31:00
  work our way up to two windows, and then before you tore it,
• 1:31:04
  you got a house full of windows, you know what I'm saying. So
• 1:31:11
  I'm gonna I'm gonna share this with everybody, and then we're gonna come back
• 1:31:15
  and we're gonna do our final thoughts because this was deep to night. I
• 1:31:19
  mean I had the whole kids. When you told me that he snatched the
• 1:31:28
  baby from you and he was standing outside barefoot and the police wouldn't help you.
• 1:31:33
  I almost snatched the siss all because when I say, I felt through
• 1:31:42
  two years, you know what I'm saying, I just I felt it.
• 1:31:46
  So I gotta share a little something with everybody, and then we're gonna come
• 1:31:49
  back and we're gonna do our final thoughts for the night. Okay. October
• 1:31:56
  it's National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior that
• 1:32:02
  includes use of threats of violence and intimidation for the purpose of gaining power and
• 1:32:08
  control over another person. The COVID nineteen pandemic has led to an increase in
• 1:32:14
  domestic violence incidents nationwide, with people having no choice but to spend more time
• 1:32:18
  at home. Gilbert was no exception. Calls for domestic violence have increased compared
• 1:32:25
  to this time last year. The reason for these calls are also different,
• 1:32:29
  with an increase in the intensity of crimes. Remember, domestic violence can happen
• 1:32:33
  to anyone, regardless of race, ethnicity, education level, religion, gender,
• 1:32:39
  or age. Forty percent of the incidents reported in Gilbert involved people between
• 1:32:45
  the ages of twenty six and thirty seven. Check in with your loved ones,
• 1:32:49
  even if you're unable to see them in person. If you think you
• 1:32:54
  are being abusive, or you or someone you know as being abused, call
• 1:32:58
  the National Coalition Again Domestic Violence at one eight hundred seven nine nine, seven
• 1:33:02
  two three three or text seven four one seven four one to speak to a
• 1:33:06
  live crisis counselor. For more information regarding emergency helplines as well as non emergency
• 1:33:13
  resources, please visit Gilbert Easy Dot Up forward slash d v A. M
• 1:33:26
  all right, So I will post the calm the link for the domestic hotline
• 1:33:33
  phone number. If you anybody you know and get out, get help,
• 1:33:41
  you know. Don't be ashamed, be a shame. Don't be a shame.
• 1:33:47
  It's all you sis, it's all you see. Don't be ashamed talk
• 1:33:56
  about it because you're not the only one. It's not your fault. And
• 1:34:05
  you can get out. It's always away. There's always a solution. I
• 1:34:15
  don't think I had one. I adn't think I had a solution. I
• 1:34:19
  was so scared, so embarrassed. I was willing to stay in it.
• 1:34:24
  I was willing to stay and settle because I was embarrassed. I was scared.
• 1:34:38
  Don't be talked about it. Let it out. Talk to someone if
• 1:34:44
  it's just one person, because I didn't talk to anybody. And it took
• 1:34:47
  until today. It took today today to say something. And it feels really
• 1:35:04
  really good to talk about it. It's not easy, and it's it don't
• 1:35:13
  feel good. The freedom and the piece is worth it because after every storm,
• 1:35:26
  there's a rainbow. And so let me ask you, because I'm the
• 1:35:35
  most emotional one sixty one days, did you ever think I told you last
• 1:35:50
  time, I went back after two weeks, two weeks, two weeks.
• 1:36:00
  Still today, I still think about it, like was that the right choice.
• 1:36:04
  I'm human, and it's not what I want to be abused, but
• 1:36:13
  I I was so used to something it was I was so it was my
• 1:36:20
  norm. It was my norm, and that ain't right. It wasn't right.
• 1:36:30
  So I left him. I had. I left my situation in nineteen
• 1:36:35
  ninety nine. Everything my my whole situation happened in ninety nine. And when
• 1:36:44
  I tell you, I wear my scar like a badge armor, I wear
• 1:36:48
  it like a badge armor. I do nor what I'm If had I had
• 1:36:58
  known then what I now, he probably would have got al green back there.
• 1:37:04
  He probably would have got some hot ass. We would have had to
• 1:37:06
  play grip ball as my DC. We would have had to. But I
• 1:37:14
  mean, you know, I don't know if you could see cist, but
• 1:37:19
  this was I don't know. It may be small on the screen, but
• 1:37:26
  he was charged with aggivated us soul for throwing scald and water. Yeah,
• 1:37:33
  so it might be small so you can't see the writing. But I'm right
• 1:37:41
  there with you. Every day was hard, right, I even dropped the
• 1:37:46
  challenges. I wrote it. I did it too last year. I dropped,
• 1:37:51
  I dropped everything, dropped everything everything soon And we do it because we
• 1:38:00
  feel bad. They make us feel bad for doing it. But this feel
• 1:38:03
  bad, you know. But when you when you feel like you're this big
• 1:38:13
  and they're they're all, it's almost like they're vaginal. Begin it. Keith
• 1:38:19
  come on, says you end in the shoone. I just want to say
• 1:38:29
  you women are strong. As I said, I've been fortunate enough to never
• 1:38:33
  have experienced this, and I'm glad you both lay it out. I'm glad
• 1:38:40
  you left your situation and I'm glad y'all did this because you are giving other
• 1:38:45
  women who of doing the same thing. Someone needed to hear it, and
• 1:38:55
  they heard it. I encourage your latest to you telling you thoughters can continue
• 1:39:03
  influencing women to speak up and speak I'll continue to influence women to talk to
• 1:39:10
  other people about these situations because if they don't know, because no one is
• 1:39:15
  here to tell him, like you said, they probably don't have anyone to
• 1:39:19
  talk to. You guys continue to be the listening here. I'm glad Takita
• 1:39:27
  that you came along. I'm glad you're your Assal's message reached you because now
• 1:39:33
  that I know you, I think God you made it out your situation as
• 1:39:39
  well. Thank you, and I hope that you do not allow him to
• 1:39:45
  keep you off of social media. And I say that because you don't have
• 1:39:50
  to post your baby. I will ever want to see your Yes, I
• 1:39:56
  will ever want to see your strength in the progress. I want everyone to
• 1:40:00
  watch your strength go from even if you were feeling like this too, like
• 1:40:08
  I am, look, I got muscles, right, I must, but
• 1:40:12
  you know this affect but still you look there's someone that is fact. But
• 1:40:21
  I'm glad, y'all. So I want you have to continue to do this,
• 1:40:30
  and I will hope that you will joy Ashley as another co host because
• 1:40:35
  y'all two have so much timing. Like you said, y'all stories, it's
• 1:40:42
  it's about to get big because another woman's gonna reach y'aut to YouTube. It'd
• 1:40:49
  be like I know someone to talk to. And so now they have not
• 1:40:55
  only Ashley, but now they hell Toquido. So thank you for being the
• 1:41:01
  voices that women get a chance to listen to. So if you know women,
• 1:41:11
  if I know y'all want you, these are your two guys right here
• 1:41:16
  if they can get out. You came too. That first step. I
• 1:41:24
  know it was like I said, it was hard for me. But when
• 1:41:27
  I came across bro black Girl interrupted literally how many days ago the other day,
• 1:41:36
  two days Fridays, Thursday, Friday. I watched it Friday, I
• 1:41:41
  comment on Friday, and I heard from you Friday evening and I was ready
• 1:41:49
  talk about it. I was just thinking, God that you had the strengthsist
• 1:41:54
  Ashley to share, because like I didn't use anchor. I had anchor around
• 1:42:00
  my friends for years, two years, three years, never touched the app.
• 1:42:04
  Friday, I decided to just go on it. Let me find stunt
• 1:42:08
  to to lift me up, empower me. I need something. I'm looking
• 1:42:13
  for something. And I came across this get him across your podcast. It
• 1:42:18
  was just strength and I was like, I could do that. I can
• 1:42:24
  do it. I could do it, and I did it. And that's
• 1:42:28
  for any woman that's listening to any man that's listening. It's not just women.
• 1:42:32
  Men right talk about it. Talk about that woman that's very bright,
• 1:42:40
  you down, that's taking your money, talk about it. We got to
• 1:42:46
  talk about it. I was that woman too. We gotta talk about it.
• 1:42:53
  How was that woman? But Torquido, when I tell you you're journeys
• 1:43:00
  just started, you still have so many open doors that you need to close.
• 1:43:11
  As my episodes go on, we're gonna talk about those father daughter relationships
• 1:43:21
  that do need to close. Yeah, we did the mother daughter. I
• 1:43:28
  did the mother daughter relationship, you know episode with my daughter. Oh she's
• 1:43:35
  fine. CH's fine because my son will be coming right about now. And
• 1:43:43
  let me tell you something. What did I feel in you do not come
• 1:43:45
  for Drake. Aubrey you could have for but Drake, you do not come
• 1:43:50
  up. You're just right out, kay that the daddy said on the Color
• 1:43:58
  Birth Now see that you're up, But Nity, you flat out. Oh
• 1:44:11
  my goodness, just emotional. I had to bring some laughter because we just
• 1:44:16
  appreciate you, lady so much. But we are not done. So let
• 1:44:24
  me let you know on Black Girl Intrupted Babies. So I know Tuesday,
• 1:44:30
  I said we were gonna talk about sex. Y'all know I love sex,
• 1:44:38
  y'all. Don't like get snacked flifting books down, y'all know that. But
• 1:44:45
  I have one more chapter in the relationship season that I have to address first.
• 1:44:53
  So Tuesday, Mother Son relationships. M how do you mend those broken
• 1:45:01
  mother son relationships? You, Torkato, that was you. You're soon to
• 1:45:10
  be ex husband had some mother's son really issues, right, So I have
• 1:45:15
  to I have to, I have to close the relationship. I have to
• 1:45:20
  address this. So Tuesday night, eight pm Central time, nine pm eastertime,
• 1:45:28
  don't forget, y'all are gonna see me and my son for the first
• 1:45:32
  time, sit down and lay everything out on the table. That's that's Tuesday
• 1:45:41
  night, eight eight pm Central time, nine pm Eastern time. Don't forget
• 1:45:45
  to follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, Spotify, y'all
• 1:45:53
  know the rest. Y'all know because y'all see your girl all the time.
• 1:45:57
  And I want to say thank y'all for all the love that y'all showed me.
• 1:46:00
  I want to tell you to Arquito, I love you, I for
• 1:46:08
  even getting on here in front of these people and sharing your story because you
• 1:46:12
  know what, there are so many women out here we suffer in silence.
• 1:46:16
  I was her. I was her. We don't have anybody talk to talk
• 1:46:20
  to because they've isolated us. You know, they they've basically segregate, you
• 1:46:26
  know, not segregated. They've the work to me, you know, secreated
• 1:46:33
  us people. They don't want us to have but talk everybody. Oh and
• 1:46:40
  y'all, don't forget y'all better give some love to my sister Arqito because guess
• 1:46:45
  what she had to get on here tonight. But you know what she told
• 1:46:47
  me. She says, like, I have to share my story and I
• 1:46:50
  had to let her story be her because it could be some that's going through
• 1:46:57
  this and is afraid to talk and doesn't know how to leave. Y'all know
• 1:47:01
  what to do. I told y'all Tuesday, you need a pleasure a couple
• 1:47:04
  of days, I'll get you my baby. I'll sleep on the couch.
• 1:47:09
  I'm not sure, but I sleep on the couch anyway. And don't forget
• 1:47:13
  to get some love to my sister Keish seat of keshas corner, And don't
• 1:47:17
  forget y'all better get on the corner with us Friday, baby, because we
• 1:47:23
  won't have us a little girl talk. I think I'm gonna get me a
• 1:47:25
  bottle of wine for Friday night, y'all, Friday night, it's gonna be
• 1:47:30
  unrunned. Of course, we're gonna recap the election a little bit, but
• 1:47:34
  going on wine because at that point, you know, probably to drink or
• 1:47:40
  something. I'm talking something on the corner with us because you're from Connecticut and
• 1:47:45
  y'all in the corner, you know, I can Baltimore. You're getting on
• 1:47:48
  the corner with us. I'm tapping in. Oh wait, wait, hold
• 1:47:53
  on, hold on, Dad mean you're coming on Live with us? Yeah?
• 1:47:58
  Friday, Who happen all, y'all? Like I'm forty s I was
• 1:48:08
  baldhead at first, but I'm about to go back and go ahead. Don't
• 1:48:11
  worry bout wait till putting two one y'all was Christie with some little design.
• 1:48:17
  I'm probably gonna get a BGI because the back. But I'm also Keys Colors
• 1:48:26
  by Keys. She's having a fifty percent of sale on all her lipsticks.
• 1:48:30
  I'm waiting on a gold top box too, and I'm waiting on a new
• 1:48:33
  ship to drop because your website was down because I was really trying to order
• 1:48:36
  some lipstick today. Oh I ain't put it down yet. Did you just
• 1:48:42
  point a middle finger because your puldn't get on it? Oh well, I
• 1:48:47
  ain't checking. I know I ain't touching yet, but I ain't working on
• 1:48:50
  because I was running today. I was running so I wouldn't go back.
• 1:48:57
  There's six five to see to lipsticks, to one, good fight, good
• 1:49:03
  p I'm need to get ready for the fall. And then I got to
• 1:49:09
  get ready for you know, I got to get us glam. Fuck,
• 1:49:12
  you got to get us glam for this brunch, baby, January thirtieth.
• 1:49:15
  It's a small black female entrepreneurs brunch in Atlanta, Georgia. Okay, y'all
• 1:49:24
  gonna see us. But again, thank y'all for tuning in tonight. I
• 1:49:28
  really really really really really really really truly love y'all. I thank y'all for
• 1:49:31
  the continuous love, to continue to support, to continue with shares, thank
• 1:49:35
  you for subscribing, thank you just for showing me love. So I will
• 1:49:42
  see y'all Tuesday night. Give you a Central time nine pm E sometime.
• 1:49:46
  We're gonna get this mother's son mother's son relationship. So that's gonna we're gonna
• 1:49:50
  end the relationship chapter. And then the week after that, what is that
• 1:49:57
  November? What is that the thirteenth? I've no the eleventh, November eleven,
• 1:50:03
  we're gonna we're gonna talk about sex. So y'all ready what the mother
• 1:50:12
  because we're gonna get down a dirty on Black Girl, if a black girl
• 1:50:15
  intrust Hill love, y'all. I hope everyone has a great night at the
• 1:50:18
  Halloween and again I'll see y'all Tuesday night again. Don't follow me on Facebook,
• 1:50:24
  Instagram, Twitter, I'm on all the streaming UH platforms, Apple,
• 1:50:29
  Spotify, Parka, Overcast, box Cast. I'm on all of them in
• 1:50:34
  all the streams, and I'm gonna pop up and uh Keisha's corner too,
• 1:50:41
  go on Friday eight thirty pm. Each severy thirty pm syn Drew Coloss Sale.
• 1:50:47
  Y'all can follow me on all social media platforms and colors by going in.
• 1:50:56
  So yeah, I wanted to say something else, but I lost my
• 1:50:59
  trying to do. Come on, you know any uh female entrepreneurs who's business
• 1:51:05
  mind shining their network is strategy and to join me on a live streaming of
• 1:51:13
  black business women, tell them send your email at Piecia's corner at gmail dot
• 1:51:18
  com A s K E s H s k O R n E R.
• 1:51:24
  Because we don't do just a regular corner around here at gmail dot com.
• 1:51:28
  Y'all know, she got to be extra with that corner work, Kate,
• 1:51:31
  But I love it, y'all. But again, I hope everyone has a
• 1:51:35
  great night, half a Hagoween. Oh and the say tomorrow. So guess
• 1:51:41
  what I can't scream to get back