Latest / Take1.5 Podcast: Stories from the Messy In-between / Shy to Shine: K-Town Girl Writes a Children's Book to Help Kids Shine 한타 출신 1.5세 동화책 작가 챌시의 빛나는 스토리

Transcript

Shy to Shine: K-Town Girl Writes a Children's Book to Help Kids Shine 한타 출신 1.5세 동화책 작가 챌시의 빛나는 스토리 · Take1.5 Podcast: Stories from the Messy In-between

0:00
Hey, why is your name Chong Ching Chong?
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Like all that name calling? Why is your eyes like that?
0:06
Why is this? Why is it smelly?
0:09
Oh, is this not the norm of saying stuff that I'm used to
0:14
and I shouldn't say it and really minimize my words?
0:17
Welcome. To the Pick 1.5 podcast, this is
0:26
your host Minly. Hi, everyone.
0:35
I'm Chelsea Tong Kim, AKA your favorite homeroom teacher for
0:39
shy students and award-winning children's book author.
0:47
And I'm a podcast host and a former middle school math
0:50
teacher. Carol, the carrot bowls for the
0:52
salad bowl. And I've been celebrating for
0:55
its heartwarming message for individuality, teamwork,
0:59
leadership. I like your tagline Shy to
1:02
Shine, I could definitely relate to that.
1:05
Oh, that's great. That's great.
1:07
It took a lifetime to shine. Takes a long time to shine, just
1:10
like how you just said. I think I was shy until I was I
1:14
believe high school thanks to my mom, my oma.
1:18
Oh my God. Today my mom was very proud of
1:20
me. Like finding you.
1:26
I grew up in my neighborhoods where my friends and neighbors
1:30
were from all different backgrounds.
1:32
I remember sitting around eating each other's cultural food like
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giant potluck like while our parents were working very long
1:42
hours. I believe that was our era.
1:44
I'm born in 90 twos and and we grew up like that together.
1:48
But as I got older, I started to feel like this pool, like, wait,
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I'm not just American kid, I'm also Korean.
1:56
It's kind of strange to say I didn't realize I was so I was
1:59
Korean until it hit me, wait, I'm Korean.
2:03
And I didn't know what that really meant yet.
2:05
So I started practicing my own way and, and then I started
2:09
adapting alphabet and I started building Korean friends and
2:15
speaking bits of Korean with my friends.
2:18
And it was like I was trying to find my other half of myself.
2:22
And Fast forward to high school, I joined ASB and that gave me a
2:26
test taste of leadership. But what I really noticed was
2:30
that there was no Korean club in this high school.
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And so I thought, why not start one?
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And I went all out. I started like, you know what,
2:40
at that time it was Big Bang Wonder Girls.
2:42
I was like, you know what? Do AB boy in the middle of the
2:45
playground and I'm going to turn on K pop music.
2:50
Nobody knew Congo. Like nobody knew Korean that
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year. That club was the longest
2:56
waiting list of all time. The Korean that year, Yeah.
3:00
Wow. And starting that club was a
3:03
turning point of my life. I planned events, collaborating
3:06
with other student group and started seeing leadership.
3:10
Fast forward to when I was a math teacher.
3:12
They were looking for a director of student body.
3:15
I created this whole new system. But growing up in LA as a Great
3:18
American girl was never just one thing.
3:21
It was learning to live both cultures, celebrate both sides,
3:24
and now help the next generation to do the same.
3:27
Well, how does Shy kid do all these things?
3:30
I don't know. But the other thing that I'm
3:32
surprised by your story, growing up in K town, I would think you
3:37
would be so exposed to Korean culture and the language and the
3:42
food and everything. It surprises me that there was
3:45
no Korea club at school 1st and then that you did not have any
3:51
Korean language skills and it took you to get to middle school
3:56
to realize, hey, wait a minute, there is Korean all around me
4:00
and I am Korean too. Interesting moment.
4:03
Like, yeah. My dad passed away when I was 10
4:07
years old to give a shout out to my Big Brother and my mom.
4:11
But he was like my father figure.
4:12
My mom was a father figure and ever since I was young they made
4:16
sure I not exposed into any bad influence.
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But in LA at that time, LA at that time was such a crucial
4:24
time of bad influence. Like there was so many smoking
4:27
going on, gang and a lot of things going on.
4:30
They make sure not to expose that too much for me.
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So then I try to stay home as much as I can.
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That's where I couldn't expose any Korean side of me.
4:38
What made your shy child? The environment that was created
4:43
growing up in LA in Koreatown, all my friends by the way, they
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were very diverse. They didn't understand Korean
4:49
culture. I didn't understand the migrant
4:51
culture either. When I brought something food to
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the table, when I spoke the language, the look, the physical
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appearance of what I was born with, Yeah, I mean, that brought
5:02
the shy force. Hey, why is your name Chong
5:05
Ching Chong? Like all that name calling?
5:08
Why is your eyes like that? Why is this?
5:11
Why is it smelly? And you know, honestly, that
5:15
didn't really hurt me until they really repeatedly say that, Oh,
5:20
is this not the norm of saying stuff that I'm used to and I
5:25
shouldn't say it and really minimize my words and covered
5:31
the one I really wanted to say. And honestly, I really didn't
5:37
really hurt me in a way where I was like, Oh my God, bullied.
5:40
It was not that because I, I honestly, for me, This is why I
5:43
created carrot. The carrot.
5:44
She has confidence in herself, but she was kind of shy to
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express herself. And I was like, no, I think
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that's not OK to say. So I actually told them, Hey,
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that's not OK to say. Another shy moment was, are my
5:57
parents, my family? I, I love them.
5:59
It's just that I think the educational in our Korean system
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was like, Ah, Kombu Kumba anemia, Taco Taco anemia, job,
6:10
job, marriage, marriage, baby. And and if we don't get into
6:20
that system, that that role of timeline, then you're not
6:25
normal. You don't look taunted.
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This is my opinion. This is my life where I grew up
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where if you go anemia, you're looking and then that you know,
6:34
can look in that logical because, oh, I want to break
6:39
that in a way, but I couldn't because I love my culture so
6:42
much. I love my family so much, you
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know? Your experience of this is this
7:02
is the face that I was born with.
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It's almost like we already have a problem.
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I don't look like the white person with the blonde hair and
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the sunk up your eyes and all these things.
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And so it's like I already have a problem.
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And then when you're in school, you, the kids around you, like,
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if we enforce that, like by repeating, why, why is your eyes
7:26
like that your food spell or why is your name Chong, not Smith?
7:30
You know, So I, I, I understand what you're saying because so
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many of us 1.5 generation, second generation Asian
7:43
Americans experienced that every day, right as we are growing up,
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Carol, the carrot have that confidence that shine in you,
7:52
that boldness in you. It was almost like forced down
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not to come out. So and I think that was
8:05
beautiful how you said that because as a teacher, since I
8:10
did that, I grew up like that. I can teach my students because
8:15
I saw that I experienced that. And a student, most of my
8:20
students who were Korean, who were Asian American, who were
8:23
different backgrounds, who are non Korean, they experience the
8:27
same thing. And they say that to me.
8:29
They're like Mrs. Kim, something something happened to me or wow,
8:35
wait, I could help them. This is this is my job.
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I finally could help them and I don't want them to experience
8:40
this and now I could finally help them.
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This is my calling. This was my teaching that I
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actually learned how to do. And oh, my goodness, I was so
8:49
blessed that I was actually helping them.
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And the time when I was hiding my rice on the the kimchi that
8:55
like a rice tart, they were doing the same thing.
8:59
And I thought I was the clever 1.
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And I thought I was a creative one.
9:02
No, they're doing the same thing.
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And I was like, just, you know, come to Mrs. Kim's classroom.
9:06
Bring all your friends here. Don't hide your kimchi, don't
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hide your whatever your food you're eating.
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Every Wednesday during lunchtime, I gave them an hour
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to bring their food with them just to just, you know, hang out
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with me and just, and there were some kids, which is very, very
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unfortunate was they eat alone because either their food is
9:29
smelly or they get bullied or, you know, there's kids out
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there. I wanted to be something for
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them. And I just want to create this
9:37
natural environment where I have to be like, Oh, I'm your best
9:39
friend. You know, that's kind of weird.
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You know, I want to create this natural environment where
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everyone here becomes friends. And guess what?
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Everyone became friends. And and if I was sick that day
9:50
on Wednesday, happy to be on Wednesday, *** I'll put an IO
9:54
the next day. I come back, they're like, we
9:56
were sad your classroom was not open.
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I was like, oh, and I thought about it.
10:00
Oh my God, I can't be sick on Wednesdays.
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I try my best to eat vitamins, not to be sick on that day.
10:07
Chelsea, that's awesome. Oh my goodness.
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Go Chelsea. Oh go me, it'll take 1.5 you
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you. I mean, that's leadership like
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you talked about in your book and as obviously showing through
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your life. Yeah, you're shining in your own
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moment. Hey, thank you.
10:29
Yeah, I mean, so many of us, you know, even my guests share about
10:32
their experience, especially in the lunchroom.
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I actually even talked about this just the other day.
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It's tough out there for the kids.
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Oh yes, it is. There's so many stories during
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that lunchtime right now. You want to provide that shy
10:48
moment for the children or the people that maybe never had the
10:53
chance to have safe space. What made you go into teaching?
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Teach, I could go hours of my teaching career, but I'll make
11:08
it super simple. I I I taught mostly elementary
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school and one thing I always say is you don't really master
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something until you really taught it.
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When I was a Korean kid, as a student I thought grades really
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matter. And as a teacher, when I was
11:27
learning to become a teacher, I thought grades matter 'cause I
11:31
was taught that grade matter. But Yonggu Maniasa altogether
11:37
taught timiki. Peru Sichi altogether taught
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him, taught reading, taught timiki.
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There always had to be a purpose for kids to learn.
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I wanted to give each an opportunity to give them the
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stage that they can have and give them my undivided
11:59
attention. And I wanted to teach my best.
12:03
And that's what a teacher I wanted to become, the
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influential teacher that I can give the best of my best.
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And that's why it took me years to study and get my degree as
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much as I can and get my ears of a teaching experience as much as
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I can. And then finally create this
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book that took me a year to create.
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And then finally just come here just to spread awareness.
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How do kids learn? Because we talk about like
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different smarts. Like there's 8 smarts we talk
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about, right? You know, some kids learn
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visually, some kids learn audibly, and some are
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kinesthetic learners. We talk about all these things.
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What are some of the best ways can we can help kids learn?
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Let me give one example. So in my classroom, I gave all
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my kids come up on the whiteboard and teach the ways
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that you solve that question. It doesn't matter what steps you
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learn from me. Just show me that you couldn't
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be creative. OK, I remember this one student,
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he randomly brought a full 4 less newspaper out I'll and he
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just cut up all these pieces and he put it on the whiteboard and
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like he put madness and he's like, OK, this is how I solve
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this probability of blah, blah blah La La la.
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I'm like another student brought like a clay model and then
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they've solved that in the math form.
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Another student brought another genius way to bring another
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student to do a play like young gook, like play out of a math
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problem. It's very amazing.
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I did this every Friday. I wanted kids to break out of
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that shell. And I know some kids were very
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shy to do this because they don't want to go up in the
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whiteboard, but in the end we all shouted for them.
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So let's now talk about your book.
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Oh. Yay.
13:46
Tell us the title. It's Carol the carrot bowls for
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the salad bowl. What inspires you to write the
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story? I remember asking myself one
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day, if I were to go back to my Heavenly Father again tomorrow,
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to God, what would I have done? Everything I was meant to do
14:05
this in this life. And the answer was just hit me.
14:09
Not nothing. I believe yeah, teaching was
14:13
one. But I feel like something, part
14:15
of me have to do something more. And that realization open a
14:19
floodgate in my heart. I made one of the hardest
14:23
decision of my life. I resigned from my position
14:26
after teaching so many years. And no, I didn't have a solid
14:30
plan. It was a crazy decision.
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All I had was a prayer and in that season of uncertainty, I
14:38
felt this urge in my spirit to slow down and really reconnect
14:42
with God and really give self love.
14:44
And I went out and bought a new Bible and committed to read 5
14:49
chapters a day. And literally I honestly I was
14:53
just going quiet after teaching so many years.
14:57
It's a different type of quiet because you're so used to the
14:59
white noise of kids, like, yelling in the background,
15:03
right? I caught up with my own silence.
15:05
It was very healing. It was very clarifying, and it
15:08
was very clear. Literally one day while sitting
15:11
at my computer, I got an e-mail, random e-mail.
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It was asked, what will you be interested in becoming a
15:18
children's book author? It was like God saying, here,
15:21
here's the next step. Is this a sketch?
15:24
Is this like, one of those weird?
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Yeah, I know, right? I keep thinking in my head, I'm
15:30
like, maybe. And I searched it, and it was
15:32
really legit. I was OK, let me start on it.
15:34
I told my husband about this, and he was very supportive.
15:37
He's like, maybe you should do this.
15:38
Maybe just go for. I'll support you no matter what.
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And that's how the whole journey started.
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And I published this. Carol The Carrot Bowls for the
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Salad Bowl, a story about the shy little carrot who learns
15:51
that she can lead. And every kid brings something
15:56
special to the table in this story, and Carol helps them to
15:59
see that. And that's the story it's all
16:01
about. And you guys can go get this
16:03
book on Amazon and find out if she makes the team or not.
16:06
And the publishing process experiences was completely
16:09
different from the classroom. I had to learn everything from
16:13
scratch. Early morning routines, staying
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committed to deadlines pour my heart into every page, hoping
16:21
that every child somewhere in the world was seen with what
16:24
they need in this book. But all these things I never
16:27
imagined if I didn't say yes to that single yes.
16:30
And I said maybe I'll take this step.
16:34
Autobiographical story, isn't it?
16:37
It sounds like it. It's yeah, you can say that
16:40
literally because like a lot of my friends, this is very funny.
16:43
My friends like, you know, don't time up the goal.
16:46
I was like, where do you see the time?
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But when I create this book, I think most of my authors will
16:53
relate to this is like whenever you create a story, it goes back
16:57
to you. It goes back to your culture, it
16:59
goes back to your story. The characters I created like
17:02
Mandy, the Mandarin, she's kind of like myself, doubt character
17:05
Carol, the character is more like nicely.
17:08
So I can't do it. Wait, this is me.
17:11
This is both me. Both moments were me.
17:14
And then it's funny how you said that because there was 1 scene
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and this is the scene where talks about the identity.
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I had to put this in the scene. It's just like, it's like a
17:25
little bit of funny scene. But this is when the classmates.
17:29
I don't know if I'm allowed to. If you want me to read this
17:31
part, sure. This is my one my.
17:33
Favorite mark that page. Seriously, I really like this
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scene is because when Tomato was like, hey, Carol, tomato shot,
17:43
why don't you pardon the orange over there?
17:45
At least you're both orange that you're in the rafter with
17:48
laughter. And then this is when Tomato was
17:50
like making fun of Orange and orange was not having.
17:53
And then Carol the carrot heard a sound and she was like as she
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walked down the hallway, she heard someone sobbing in the
18:02
bathroom. She opened the door.
18:05
Orange, are you OK? One shook her head.
18:09
I had lots of friends at my old school, but not here.
18:14
Why does everyone make fun of me?
18:16
Carol didn't know what to say. And I'm not a orange, you know
18:20
I'm a Mandarin, but no one cares.
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I care, I care, said Carol. Do you have another name?
18:27
Mandy. Mandy the Mandarin.
18:29
Don't laugh. I won't laugh.
18:31
I'm Carol the carrot. They both laughed together and
18:34
that made it OK? Yeah, so this scene was very,
18:38
very cute, very wholesome. The reason why I put that
18:42
character in there is because my name was Chong.
18:46
And this scene really reminded me because when my when my non
18:50
Korean friends, he said like Chong or Cheng or Ching Chong,
18:53
Ching Chong, I was like, OK, guys just call me Chelsea or
18:55
just it's Chong. They're like what?
18:57
Chong Cheng or just call it Chelsea.
18:59
I'm like, OK, fine. It kind of reminded me of that.
19:01
This also reminds me of when people calls us Chinese and
19:05
we're not really whatever you're Chinese, you guys, both you guys
19:08
all look alike. I'm like, no, we're Korean.
19:11
That's why I put in this in a children nice way.
19:15
And that's how I kind of hit that in the children's book.
19:17
And also not only us Asian American, it could be in a
19:21
different cultural way. And I expressed that to
19:23
diversity and I expressed that to teamwork.
19:27
I expressed that through you can do it and all these messages is
19:30
blend in here. But yeah, I liked it.
19:33
I just did it in a fun way. The message of bowling is like
19:36
in life, we're always not striking.
19:40
We could miss. I thought about my students when
19:42
I when I created all these characters and Coach Cucumber is
19:46
like my teach when I was when I was teaching my students my
19:49
perspective as a teacher. And yeah, there's so many for my
19:53
second book with the same character but with completely
19:56
different settings. So hope you guys key there and
19:59
anticipate that. Yeah, I love it.
20:01
I actually bookmarked that page for the same reason, and I said,
20:06
yeah, that's right, I'm not even orange, I'm Mandarin.
20:09
So yeah, see me for who I am. So let's talk about shine to
20:13
Shine. It sounds like it's a very
20:16
important thing for you. Oh yes.
20:18
So think about that one moment. You are shy.
20:22
You are hiding in that closet. You are behind that staircase,
20:27
behind that jacket in the under the hood or you don't want to
20:32
sit to front because you may, you know, I don't know, you
20:34
didn't wash your hair that you were shy.
20:37
That's called being shy. That's called being not self
20:39
confident. Everyone out there was shy at
20:42
one point. And this is specifically a time
20:48
when I was a little kid, I was shy to really express my Korean
20:52
American identity. I thought being a Korean was
20:56
something to hide about because and speaking Korean and sharing
21:00
my kimchi side dish, sharing my cultural food was not the norm.
21:05
And then I was being shy. I was hiding, right?
21:08
And I was hiding and I was like, I, I put the Pantan underneath
21:11
the rice and I want to be in the cool group.
21:17
But there was a pivotal moment like I shared to your way
21:20
earlier about that shine moment. When was that shine moment?
21:25
So shy you, does it mean for you in confidence?
21:31
Yes, it's it means everyone has that seed of identity, seed of
21:37
courage, seed of leadership and seed of joy.
21:41
They can grow out of that. It's a soil.
21:44
They can grow out of that. OK, but do you coach others to
21:51
go from shy to shine? Do Yeah, I actually do if you
21:56
guys are interested. I do motivational speaking.
21:59
If you want a book on that, I do shy to shy movement on that.
22:03
I do author visits if you like my book.
22:05
I also do author visit on schools events and through
22:08
private events as well. And as you were sharing about
22:12
your shy moments, I I try to think of my own shy moment, but
22:17
I couldn't. Nothing really came to my mind.
22:20
How does one find it? Is there something?
22:25
You find. You find that when you really
22:29
think about it. OK, so that's a really good
22:31
question. I found it.
22:34
Well, I'm a Christian. I found it went through my
22:36
prayer. You have to take that moment
22:40
really seriously, but you need to really sit down, close your
22:45
eyes, think about the moment and really enjoy your hair there.
22:53
Take it in your head. They go the lowest point in your
22:56
life you're not used to. Maybe you're uncomfortable with.
23:00
Just sit down, close your eyes, maybe write it down.
23:03
I'm a writer, so just write it down.
23:05
Maybe you can draw and then you step on it and build that.
23:10
You build that ground. You look back, you're like,
23:12
wait, I came this far and it's amazing feeling.
23:16
Couldn't she go to Dome Shine or Dome Nesusudo?
23:20
Self love chumion the Shiner Germany pulls you go, go put it
23:24
in the shade. People will say like wow, why is
23:29
she shining there? And she was so shy.
23:31
Now she's shining. That's the movie I'm going to
23:34
create. That's a very interesting
23:37
concept and I, I could see your heart, a why and how you do it.
23:43
So yeah, thanks so much for that.
23:46
I I applaud you. Thank you so much.
23:50
I applaud you for creating this space for us, for us, second
23:54
generation, 1.5 generation. I mean, I'm very like thankful
24:00
for meeting you and creating this whole space for us Korean
24:04
Americans because without you, we kind of have a voice.
24:07
Oh, thank you, you. You deserve a praise too.
24:12
Oh, thank you. We I think we all do our parts
24:15
right. So what is your purpose in one
24:17
sentence? My dream is very simple.
24:20
I want every kid, and especially the quiet ones, the shy ones,
24:24
the culture in between, ones like us, like me, to know that
24:28
their story really matters, that their voice has power.
24:32
I want to grow the Shine to Shine movement and into
24:36
something bigger. So I want to be a space, A
24:39
community where families, educators and kids to be come
24:44
together to celebrate and grow in all forms.
24:49
Because I mean, the shiny doesn't really look all the
24:52
same. And if I could pick one word,
24:54
it's a story within ourselves. So it's a story.
24:59
Show us your Carol the Carrot. Oh, that does look like you.
25:03
Which part? Men like the cute part.
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Oh my gosh, you are like a powerhouse woman.
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So I I think I have one last question for you.
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If you were to give a message to a student, a young child, what
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would that be? Grow strong, stay rooted.
25:58
So Chelsea, give us some tips as parents or as teachers, what can
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we do to help our children break out of their shyness?
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Well, I have several tips for you.
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We can celebrate small wins loudly.
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For example, we can do even your child only whisper in the class
26:17
today or raise their hands for the first time in weeks.
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Let's just celebrate it. That's what I say, say in the
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right moment. I'm so proud of you with the
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certainty. And another example is model
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confidence without forcing it. So don't force.
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It it's hard. Yes, And then children's
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Meredith, what they see again, they're sponges.
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We say we are sponges, but they're more like mirror.
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They reflect everything that you're doing.
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So if you speak confidence about yourself, like and then last
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tip, create safe space to lead. So let your child lead something
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at home. So maybe a family story night, a
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maybe a dinner menu or even choosing the song on the drive
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to school. So does that make sense?
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So let them practice leadership in environments where failure is
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safe and celebrated. Those are great tips.
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Thank you. Words of affirmation, mirroring
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the confidence and create a safe place for them to lead with
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failure, to be OK, to fail. Those are great tips.
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Thank you so much. Thanks so much for your insight
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on that. I, I want to cheer you on on
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your journey and all the things that you're planning. 2nd book.
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Thank you. So this was so much fun.
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Thank you so much fun.