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My Reality of Trying to Build a Creative Routine · The Wandering Wolf Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, can I talk about my reality of trying to build a creative routine for today?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because let's be real here, it's not easy.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to build a creative routine with ADHD and ASD.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: ADHD and ASD.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not easy.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I do manage to get like a 30 minute sketch each day.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it doesn't.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And at times I do build a good routine to sit down, to draw a sketch each day.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: But then one day, I just miss one day for some weird reason.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I had too much that day.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm too tired to even...
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Do it.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly the whole routine falls apart.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's gone.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Zero.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it kind of sucks.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Especially when you have built up for a bit and managed maybe to do it for a week or two.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then you spawn.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Poof.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's gone.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Forever.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: A little.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: For my photography though, it's been a little bit easier.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Earlier this summer, I did bring my camera every time I went on a walk with my dog.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I even went and bought a camera bag so I could easily bring both my lenses with me.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: But now it's autumn and Swedish weather is not the best.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: It can start raining whenever and...
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: The camera is not waterproof, so I don't want to bring it with me.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: But then again, I do carry a camera every day.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: My phone.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: If I see something, I can just bring it up.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like last night, it was really foggy.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And...
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: I walked down this road that I always walk with my dog in the evenings.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I took a photo because it looks so spooky.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Spooky season and everything, you know?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I wouldn't have done that if I didn't have my phone with me.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's just it.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: But finding time to build these routines are not easy either.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Not for me.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because during the day, I get really tired.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, after an hour I wake up, I start to get tired.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: I go up pretty late, around like 11, 11.30, around there.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: My dog sleeps very long too.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't want to go up early.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: But after an hour...
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: I get tired around like one o'clock.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I go and lie down and take a nap before I go for another walk.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it sucks because I do want to draw.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I would have been able to do like a sketch during that time instead of sleep.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: But that's just how my body is,
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: you know, my mind or whatever is causing this tiredness, you know.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: But then again, my creativity is the best at night.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I am a real night owl.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: I go up to bed very late.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know I shouldn't, but I have my reasons.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I do try to draw at night.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: But then you have distractions like YouTube and Twitch.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And even if I could bring my sketchbook or my iPad or even sit with my Wacom
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: or whatever,
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: I could have the Twitch or YouTube in the background,
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: I could still draw, but somehow I just, the body don't respond, you know?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: The mind is telling me,
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: go to draw,
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: pick this thing up,
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: but my body is like, nah, I'm sitting good where I'm at, you know?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah,
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: it just,
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know,
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: it sucks sometimes,
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: because then I sit before I go to bed and think through, like, why did I draw?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I could have drawn during that time when this person was streaming that game, you know.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I do try to draw before I go to bed because there is fewer distractions
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: and I have this really nice routine that I close down everything around like 12 a.m.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: and I start reading for like 20 minutes and
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then I listen to some music and just relaxing for a few,
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: half an hour maybe or something, depending on time and all.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And if I try tired, then I start a podcast and listen to those.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And during the postcast, I most of the time go and draw something.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's nice, even if I kind of not hearing what it's saying when I'm drawing.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: But then again, I got my little drawing session.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's a really nice time because there's no distraction, you know?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: No screens that do this instead, you know?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is kind of hard.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Podcasting is hard, okay?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Then I can have another kind of distraction.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I get into a video game mode.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And everything else takes a backseat.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Literally.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: I do feel like I want to draw.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: I want to draw this snow leopard or this tree or Inktober or whatever.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: But my mind is like, I want to play.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because this game is so good right now, you know?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And even if I do have time to make art and play video games,
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's either I play the game or I do the art.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do the both.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I have been trying to do like I do the art first and then I play.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like a reward, you know?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like making this podcast I do now and maybe I'm planning on playing videos games after.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And recently I have been playing Enshadred.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Enshadredred.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even say the word now.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And Shrouded.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's a survival RPG game and it's really good.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: I recommend it.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: But before that I played The Blood of Dawnwalker and that was also good
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: and I couldn't stop playing that either.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: But then again, video games is a big inspiration for me because I would love to work on one.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: One day.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Someday, maybe.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: But then again...
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: When I get this mood, I do play video games.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of weird, though.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: When I am in this mode,
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: when I think about it,
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: because I need to go to a seat at my sofa,
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: turn on the TV, turn on the consoles, and turn on the headphones, and...
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Go into the game and blah, blah, blah.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's more step to start a game than just go up,
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: pick up a sketchbook and a pen and go back to the desk.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: But still my mind is like, I'm ready to do the video game part than sketch.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: So something is like
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: preventing me to do the sketching and drawing.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is the My own mind.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: That I have this image in the head.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And when I can't get it on the paper, it's just bad, you know?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a bad artist.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think that might be the reason.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I need to explore a little bit more, you know?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I do have ADHD and ASD.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a struggle for all these routines and stuff, you know.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I do have the motivation, but I don't have the start button.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: But that kind of thing is for another time.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of forcing myself to follow a strict routine, I take the day as it comes.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: It is better.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: I use a habit tracker to track my drawing habits like digital,
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: sketching and watercolor so I can see when I've not done it for a while and
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: then I can be like,
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: oh no, I need to do this tomorrow, I need to do all this tomorrow.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: But then the tomorrow comes and nothing happens.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: It is stupid for me to tell myself I need to do something like that because it will not work.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: It just happens when it happens.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: I learned that same thing when it comes to training.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: I always wanted to build a routine for training,
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: like train every Monday and Wednesday at this hour.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: It works like a few times, but then it stops.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I started to train when I feel like it.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that works better because At times I'm so into training that I train every day
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: and then it happens, falls off a little bit and then it back again.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think I need to do the same thing for the art and photography too and not force myself.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's just stupid to force yourself.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you agree?
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's my...
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway,
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Jezz and you have been listening to The Wandering Wolf podcast and I hope
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: to see you some other time.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.