Latest / God + Mental Health Podcast / Time Stewardship vs. Time Management: Why Shunta Grant Throws One of Those Terms in the Trash

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Time Stewardship vs. Time Management: Why Shunta Grant Throws One of Those Terms in the Trash · God + Mental Health Podcast

0:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello and welcome.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You are listening to The Guide in Mental Health podcast.
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[SPEAKER_01]: My name Ms. Ross and I'm so excited to be back in front of the microphone with you this week.
0:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I am so excited about today's interview.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I am interviewing Shante Grant.
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[SPEAKER_01]: If we're returning to our corporate time management coach and the founder of this today at Company, we're putting individuals with planning and time management stewardship.
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[SPEAKER_01]: resources worldwide.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She has been featured in Orbs, Essence, and works with law firms, and corporate teams across the country.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Teaching professionals how to live years time focused at energy with that sacrifice and wellbeing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I am so excited about interviewing her today.
0:36
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to talk about so many things.
0:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Look at us.
0:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I just want to say hi, should I say how are you?
0:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Hello, I'm doing great.
0:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much.
0:45
[SPEAKER_01]: So I would love for you to start with just telling us a little bit about yourself who you are and a little bit about the work you do.
0:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, great.
0:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
0:53
[SPEAKER_00]: My name is Shantai Grant.
0:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I am a woman who cares deeply about humans, always put that on the on the out front one because I am one.
1:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is just who I tend to find myself thinking of when I am creating tools and resources.
1:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I have worked helping.
1:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Women become better stewards of their time for over a decade now, and that's looked like different things over the years, it's been an interesting journey from when I started my career to where I am today.
1:24
[SPEAKER_00]: But really at the heart of everything that I do is trying to help people to be better stewards of their time, helping people to understand that there is joy to be found in every season.
1:41
[SPEAKER_00]: to the least full of seasons.
1:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And so the way I do that work a lot looks like writing, creating resources, speaking, teaching, that's how I do most of that right now in coaching, of course.
1:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
1:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
1:53
[SPEAKER_01]: So tell us a little bit about how you got into this.
1:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I know that you're background as the course and law.
1:59
[SPEAKER_01]: So tell us how you got into being a coach from
2:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so my story headline has not been linear, but in a sense, it is, it's been very organic.
2:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I began my career as a business litigator after the law school I clicked for a judge for two years, which to a private practice randomly kind of in that started a little hair bow company.
2:23
[SPEAKER_00]: On my daughter, I had a daughter and along the way and start a really light hair bows.
2:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would make hair bows for her.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I started selling the extras on Instagram and stores.
2:33
[SPEAKER_00]: What find me?
2:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Those ended up in stores.
2:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So I left the practice of law in 2015 to solely what I thought was going to be focusing on because of Zoe, which was the name of the company.
2:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And then other people felt like heard my story and they're like, this woman went for me a lawyer to sell the hair bows and was able to replace her income and come tell us how you did that and somehow that lit to business coaching from just telling my story.
2:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And I found that when I was speaking with people and talking about their businesses, I cared more about their lives.
3:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if you were like, I wanna be great at business but my family life, my life, my health is in shambles.
3:07
[SPEAKER_00]: that didn't really sit well with me.
3:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I found that I really want to help people think about their life in terms of time.
3:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I just started to lean more into what I enjoyed.
3:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I kind of slowly moved away from talking about business and more so about time.
3:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And that just grew.
3:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And in 20.
3:24
[SPEAKER_00]: 19, 2019, yeah, I thought about the fact that I wanted to create physical products that actually did what I was teaching and was very different from your traditional like planer.
3:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I launched best today in March of 2020.
3:38
[SPEAKER_00]: If you know, March of 2020 is an interesting time.
3:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we literally launched the first day that my daughter was home from school because of this little thing that
3:49
[SPEAKER_00]: and that was her last day that year at the school.
3:53
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, we launched and so it seemed like it was the worst of times, but
3:57
[SPEAKER_00]: everyone was at home, home was everything, and what did people need?
4:00
[SPEAKER_00]: They need it help with time because it was now everything is happening at home.
4:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And so actually the business blew up after a few months because people really needed that.
4:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's when I started creating other online resources right now routine, clean one room, helping people in the situation they found themselves in in 2020.
4:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And then from there, I'd have customers say, hey, this is helping me at work.
4:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you coach people in their jobs?
4:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, sure, I do.
4:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I do.
4:25
[SPEAKER_00]: and that led to going into people's companies being brought in to coach teams, leaders, a lot of lawyers because that was my background and I understood that and that just grew from word of mouth, that part of my business exploded.
4:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Primarily from word of mouth, one person, one talent manager told another, one person told someone over here and people were getting results and so that led to
4:46
[SPEAKER_00]: helping small businesses hospitals, universities, coaching at every level from entry level associates to partners, helping people with their time because the thing that is the playing field and while always say I will always have work is time as a thing people have to learn how to leverage and how to defend as opposed to making time to enemy.
5:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that so much and it's so interesting as she's talked about this story.
5:10
[SPEAKER_01]: It was kind of like this self discovery of a gift that you kind of then leveraged in you.
5:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
5:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And so talking to you about like that personal story for you of how I took this gift and then made it into something that was useful for other people because I know God has a funny way of like introducing something to you that you're like
5:29
[SPEAKER_01]: But this doesn't seem like that's important and I always say stuff starts out always and see for before it grows into something So for you in that discovery of like I can use this to help people.
5:41
[SPEAKER_01]: What was that like for you?
5:43
[SPEAKER_00]: There was so much discovery the first was in getting a true understanding of how I saw myself leaving the practice of law
5:51
[SPEAKER_00]: was something if you knew me in college, in law school, everyone said if anyone's going to make it all the way, it's going to be Shantai.
5:57
[SPEAKER_00]: She's going to be a judge.
5:58
[SPEAKER_00]: She's going to be a professor.
5:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I truly enjoyed it.
6:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I did mock trial and call.
6:02
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a part of my identity.
6:04
[SPEAKER_00]: So after leaving the law firm and I would be in like a business setting now as an entrepreneur, I'm there representing myself as a business owner.
6:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I used to always start my conversations with
6:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I used to be a lawyer.
6:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I used to be a lawyer and there was this layer of and then I think one day it just caught my attention and I'm like, why am I introducing myself and the president by telling you about my past and particularly about a past I willingly left and it showed me how I was viewing myself.
6:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I needed to show a level of importance by telling you about this thing I used to do.
6:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And I immediately dropped that.
6:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's so funny because sometimes I literally do forget that I practice law.
6:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I've, you know, it's been, well, one over a decade.
6:42
[SPEAKER_00]: But that was the first kind of part of self discovery.
6:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I had to deal with, like, I always thought you get one or two gifts, you're either logical or you're creative.
6:51
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't be both.
6:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, what I was doing at the time require creativity.
6:55
[SPEAKER_00]: But what I also realized and started leaning into, like, for instance,
7:00
[SPEAKER_00]: coaching was I want to lean into the thing that I actually enjoy that comes naturally to me when I think about it I've been helping my friends with a get a planner get a schedule, let's get this organized for years it's just the thing I enjoy doing and now I realize that's really what I'm helping people do even my clients because I do some operational work for some companies as well.
7:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it because what you see as chaos I can come in and help you make order so that you can then go and do the thing that you're gifted to do.
7:28
[SPEAKER_00]: and not be bogged down with all the pieces of it.
7:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was really beautiful to see that God would even allow me to do something that some days I get off these coaching calls.
7:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And I literally just sit back in this chair and say like, I can't believe that was work.
7:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't believe that was work.
7:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to help someone and see the help, see them grow and develop.
7:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's something I just love doing.
7:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I would do it for free.
7:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And so for me, that has been a real gift that sometimes leaves me in awe that this thing that I took for granted will couldn't be so taking for granted.
8:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes I have to remind myself, I'm not to, like, everyone knows the plan their days.
8:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think I'm still having to remind myself to be okay with repeating myself over and over and over again.
8:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But it really has been an opportunity to kind of just follow the joy, follow what I value, and that's really what I've been doing.
8:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I find something I like it, I follow that more at least to the next thing because there was even a time at the end of, I believe, 2023, where one part of my business, I didn't enjoy anymore.
8:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And I remember praying, saying, Laura, I want to do less of this and more of the coaching.
8:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And literally within like two weeks, I got a coaching client.
8:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And that I still work with that that law firm to this day and it just grew and it just made room for me to do more of the things that I enjoy.
8:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just continue to follow the joy and trust that, you know, everything else will follow.
8:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that perspective because I think you're taking something that feels very mundane to us.
8:57
[SPEAKER_01]: There are always trying to figure out and establishing a way that actually this can be a problem we're solving and it can grow to start like I love the thought following the joy I was just talking to a friend about.
9:11
[SPEAKER_01]: how I'm in this phase now or therapy is like not the highest form of joy in the work that I do anymore.
9:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I would love to do other creative things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And she's like we talk about this specific thing.
9:22
[SPEAKER_01]: It'd like to look.
9:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And I love that perspective a lot because I think we kind of ignore that these can be talents or gifts of ours.
9:30
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's talk about time for a minute.
9:33
[SPEAKER_01]: You really really have a great perspective around time stewardship
9:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I really want you to dig into that, dig into why you use the term stewardship as a management.
9:45
[SPEAKER_01]: When you talk about time, like what's the distinction and why does that matter?
9:49
[SPEAKER_01]: It's all free to add any lens you would like to see that.
9:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely yes.
9:53
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so funny.
9:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I am usually contacted about time management.
9:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of the time when I'm reached out to, and one of the first things I'm going to do when someone works with me and tell you, we're going to throw that term actually in the trash.
10:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's why.
10:06
[SPEAKER_00]: When you think about time management, I think what it is, the story there is time is this wild beast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is all over the place we can have it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I need someone to teach me how to lasso it and pull it and bring it on this objection and make it work for me because time is the problem.
10:22
[SPEAKER_00]: But baby, every day, time does its job.
10:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Every 60 seconds become a minute, every 60 minutes, become an hour, time is not the problem.
10:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's really easy to avoid ownership and accountability if something or someone else is the problem and it's not you.
10:38
[SPEAKER_00]: But I love that if I'm the problem that means I'm likely also the solution.
10:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I talk about time stewardship.
10:44
[SPEAKER_00]: We are stewards of our time because every day you wake up, you've been given hours that you didn't purchase, you didn't have to bring your debit card, you didn't have to write a check for the hours that you're given.
10:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you are now responsible for what you will do with it.
10:56
[SPEAKER_00]: How will you steward in the other scripture that says a steward must be found faithful?
11:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that's very true.
11:02
[SPEAKER_00]: If you look at it as I'm a stored of my time, now my goal is not to be productive.
11:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Another word that we can put in the trash.
11:09
[SPEAKER_00]: It is to be intentional.
11:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I believe there's a big difference.
11:12
[SPEAKER_00]: If my goal is to be productive, I can run myself a ragged, and I can check got their accomplishment.
11:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I can be intentional, and I can do only that which matters.
11:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And so things like intentionality, stewardship, they go hand in hand.
11:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I teach people to think about time is something that you are sturdying, something you are caring for, something that you're working in conjunction with.
11:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Like time and me can work together.
11:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And now, when I look at my day, for example, I'm gonna be very intentional about what I put in it.
11:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to pick up my phone and doomskroll or joyskroll for that matter.
11:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to only do the thing that I have defined as the thing that is most important because I want to manage it very well.
11:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to store it very well and if you look at yourself like a steward, I think that then puts the responsibility on you and you are far more intentional about what you will do at the time you're given versus thinking of it's like time I have to manage.
12:03
[SPEAKER_00]: time I have to try because then again it's making time the problem and not you the solution and you the one who can actually do something about it.
12:10
[SPEAKER_00]: So I highly recommend people to think about time is being this time stewardship, how can I store my time well today as opposed to how can I manage my time today?
12:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And again that goes back to that productivity intentionality dichotomy.
12:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I think when we're looking for productivity we treat ourselves like we have an outlet in our backs.
12:26
[SPEAKER_00]: we weren't born with it outlet in our back.
12:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So productivity actually was never the goal, but it has been to be intentional, it'd be purposeful.
12:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that when you do move, it is with intention and it's leading you to a certain place so that when you get there, it was on purpose as opposed to getting somewhere and wondering how in the world did I end up here.
12:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Stewart's don't do that.
12:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Stewart's don't end up somewhere wondering how I got here.
12:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
12:49
[SPEAKER_01]: A couple of things that came after me that you said that were really, really good was you kind of almost put the authority back into our hands and the responsibility that can to our hands.
12:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Instead of like allowing.
13:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Blame to be kind of the ruler over what in front of us is like actually have the responsibility in authority to be able to to almost say,
13:17
[SPEAKER_01]: because I know you're saying, I know such a big question, and your will's assuming you're on the spot.
13:22
[SPEAKER_01]: So how does intention get lost because I don't think that, I think at the core of it, a lot of us don't want to not stew or time will.
13:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we would want more than anything to have a hold on this, especially because it's such a big part of our day and what we do and the way we accomplish things.
13:40
[SPEAKER_01]: So how does it in intention get lost?
13:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Intention gets lost first with the loss of self.
13:46
[SPEAKER_00]: We're so busy looking at what everyone else is doing, how they're doing it, what the world has defined is what's important, what's successful, what's good, that we're pursuing that, and in that we are missing out on the thing that actually we were designed to do.
13:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So many ways I could go with that answer, but the one of the things that I do is I teach what I call like top to bottom planning.
14:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Most people think about their time, they just start planning.
14:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's what I want to do this week, this quarter, this month, that's the last thing you think about.
14:13
[SPEAKER_00]: above that are two other things.
14:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Number one is your values, your identity.
14:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Because anything at the bottom should have been filtered through the top.
14:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And so if I'm very clear on who I am and what I value, then there's nothing I'm going to do down here at the bottom that's going to contradict that that's going to remove that from my life.
14:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, I always move from freedom, faith, and joy.
14:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Those are my three core values.
14:36
[SPEAKER_00]: If it costs me any of those three things, it's a no for me,
14:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Most people aren't operating first from who they are.
14:45
[SPEAKER_00]: My identity before anything, but from a wife, a mother, before I'm black, before I'm a woman, is I'm a disciple.
14:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And so if it does, if it fights a disciple, it's a no for me because it's fighting who I've already identified that I am.
14:58
[SPEAKER_00]: We are not moving from a place of unshakable identity and values and because of that, how can you be intentional?
15:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's what defined what the intent is.
15:08
[SPEAKER_00]: This is how I want to move in life.
15:10
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the standard.
15:11
[SPEAKER_00]: This is how I make this decision.
15:12
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what I weigh it against.
15:14
[SPEAKER_00]: As opposed to, I'm looking at all the things that go
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: and the world systems and trying to pick and choose the one that seems to be the loudest today.
15:23
[SPEAKER_00]: So one day, this is important to me.
15:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Another day, this is important.
15:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be an entrepreneur because I say, that's how you find freedom.
15:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no, no, no, no need to be a content creator.
15:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no, I need to be in it's just chasing everything that you see and not moving from a place of being grounded and who you are and what you value.
15:37
[SPEAKER_00]: and then secondly, that middle piece is your season.
15:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Because your season's going to give you the capacity and boundaries.
15:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't do everything that even I want to do and the ideas I have, there's some that I understand can only be seeds can be made in this season.
15:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I won't eat fruit off of it in this season because I'm also in a season of raising two young children.
15:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I have limitations.
15:56
[SPEAKER_00]: on my time, right?
15:57
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a certain time where I have to stop everything and go to Carpool, right?
16:01
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a part of my season and so many people are operating outside of their season, one because they're looking at other people who aren't in their season and also don't share your values and identity.
16:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But also, it's not understanding that limits are not a bad thing.
16:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Small is not a bad thing.
16:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Making small steps today, everything that's big are always say, started out small.
16:21
[SPEAKER_00]: The brand James used to be the size of a blueberry at one point in his life, right?
16:25
[SPEAKER_00]: But we are so enamored and sold on the big shiny thing and I was actually just talking about this in a call I was in today and saying a lot of times people forget that like the when you watch someone went at the Olympics or when the goal metal the shortest part of that success was what you just saw.
16:43
[SPEAKER_00]: The most of the work was done before, you never, you didn't see when they were promising, when they were, you know, it's those things that aren't, it's integrable, that aren't glamorous, that aren't celebrated, that we have to be so committed, I think about David.
16:56
[SPEAKER_00]: David was in the back.
16:58
[SPEAKER_00]: No one was looking at what he was doing, but that's what prepared him to do the thing that everyone saw, but no one wants to be in the back, tending to the sheet.
17:05
[SPEAKER_00]: No one wants to do that.
17:06
[SPEAKER_00]: They wanted to sit on the throne.
17:08
[SPEAKER_00]: and be seen and lauded and that's other issues because it's starting to sound like Satan, which you see what happened to him when he wanted to be like God.
17:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just think we have to get so grounded in who we are, what we value and understand our season and let that be the thing that feels what gets our days and that's where intention comes from as opposed to what I'm seeing is just kind of a
17:29
[SPEAKER_00]: what's popular today or what should I do and then letting the day is drag you.
17:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's when you get to the end of the year, the end of a decade of your life and you're wondering, like, what was I doing?
17:38
[SPEAKER_00]: This, none of this mattered.
17:40
[SPEAKER_01]: There are some things you said from that that I want to point out was we end up compromising and we don't have true boundaries over what we actually should as should do.
17:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think everything is good for you.
17:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And the other piece about that it made the scripture that came up in my mind where you were talking about the shortest part of the success is what we saw is when Jesus was talking about when you pray going to your closet.
18:09
[SPEAKER_01]: What you do privately will be rewarded openly.
18:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And almost like what he was saying was like, there's a rhythm of this abiding with God that it's the Lord that shines the light on you.
18:21
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not you.
18:22
[SPEAKER_01]: It's what you've done privately.
18:24
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the rhythms you have created.
18:26
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the consistency.
18:27
[SPEAKER_01]: We think about someone who sits on the throne, but we don't understand like to sit in the leadership position of that crime.
18:33
[SPEAKER_01]: You need a large capacity.
18:35
[SPEAKER_01]: you need the ability to know how to lead other people.
18:38
[SPEAKER_01]: You need the ability to steward wisdom.
18:40
[SPEAKER_01]: You need the ability to know how to go off.
18:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Like David was a man after God's heart, but that was created in his time of being a shepherd.
18:49
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think what I'm hearing you name is like, we want these things, but we don't even have the
18:55
[SPEAKER_01]: emotional maturity, the level of groundedness, the capacity.
19:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And that will effort you talk about capacity, capacity, capacity has a lot to do with how we stew where things to actually be able to be in some of those spaces.
19:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you talked about with LeBron.
19:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Like,
19:12
[SPEAKER_01]: LeBron started with as a blueberry, but he has now a whole team that allows him to ability to be the face while other things are saying, that's capacity.
19:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I love that.
19:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think I think it goes back to this grounded sense of self, like you named with our values in our season.
19:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't tell you as an entrepreneur myself, like how many times I've said, like, man, if I just did not have kids,
19:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I would be able to do XYZ, like Julie and my friends who don't have kids, they're like, girl, you could look, I'm like, y'all don't understand from three to the time I go to bed, all my time is taking up being up here and that's okay in the season.
19:55
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why I love the seasonality piece of it because my kids are not small anymore, so it shifted.
20:01
[SPEAKER_01]: So,
20:02
[SPEAKER_01]: talk about, with that, I think the ground, how do you help your clients understand that ground to part of themselves and not really getting distracted by all of the things that they may see that they want to do that feel good to them versus being grounded and who they are?
20:19
[SPEAKER_01]: What are some ways in which you teach that?
20:22
[SPEAKER_00]: It varies because sometimes a company's hired me to come in and work with someone who either has been having issues with deadlines or time, sometimes it's just proactively, hey, we want you to come with all our first year, so she's taking your associates and meet with people.
20:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's that setting, then there's just the everyday woman who just might come call me in and do some help.
20:41
[SPEAKER_00]: But with everyone, I still want to ask the question of what do you want?
20:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Because before I help you with time, I have to understand what you want.
20:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, even like let's say your company hired me, but my job is to help you, and if I help you, you will be able to help this company.
20:55
[SPEAKER_00]: But this work you can also take when you leave here.
20:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And so first understanding what you want, which a lot of adults do not know.
21:02
[SPEAKER_00]: They know what they've been told to want.
21:05
[SPEAKER_00]: They know what looks good to have, but first I found a lot of people don't even understand what it is they want.
21:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I like to just ask that, like what is your
21:15
[SPEAKER_00]: to be able to get this kind of work from these kind of cases your end goal here is that you want to get a promotion like if I can understand what you want we can reverse that back and then figure out now what do we need to prioritize what don't we so that's one of the first places we start with but then after that I have to understand your season.
21:31
[SPEAKER_00]: When you leave this job, what are you going home to?
21:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it going home to an empty house?
21:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's no other responsibilities.
21:36
[SPEAKER_00]: That's kind of a different than someone I'm going home to, you know, five children and a spouse.
21:40
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's also I need to understand what you want and then I need to understand what your boundaries and capacities are.
21:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I also want to know what is that you do for you?
21:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Because
21:50
[SPEAKER_00]: in every season I think that's also important so that we can maintain our own individual identity as well.
21:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's a mixture of those things and we work through that we work through, but it's always going the most important thing is going to be we can't operate outside of your season.
22:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And I always tell people if you want to know if you're operating outside of your season, you can ask yourself, do you find yourself being very discontent?
22:12
[SPEAKER_00]: comparing yourself to other people, other things, you know, kind of saying, you know, oh, why does this person have this?
22:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not there yet.
22:19
[SPEAKER_00]: There's comparison, constant frustration.
22:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you find yourself saying you don't have time to blank, chances are you operating outside the confines of your season and it's time to pause.
22:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And let's do some analysis.
22:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have a framework I work you through with all of that called name your season to really understand what are those responsibilities requirements, opportunities, and boundaries need it
22:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So that you can start bringing some joy back again, a lot of things are going to always go back to joy for me because it is a core value if you can't like and love the life you live what and what are we doing and so it is going to go back to that and that's why I asked those questions because I want at the end of the day everyone I work with to like and love their life and that doesn't mean.
22:57
[SPEAKER_00]: your favorite season, everything's going your way.
22:59
[SPEAKER_00]: You can like a love of season of recovery, of the loss, of grief, of hardship.
23:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Their ways we can find to pull back into that.
23:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's also another thing I'm trying to do and have work is help people understand that in every season of life, there is some joy to be found that you can still like and love the life you're living.
23:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
23:18
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think what I'm here you say you do a lot is reinforced introspection.
23:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And really making people really look inside themselves versus outside of themselves.
23:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
23:29
[SPEAKER_01]: We find like that the thing you do a lot of with people is by making them look inside themselves.
23:35
[SPEAKER_00]: What's really funny is I was on a call with someone this separate so many times because again a lot of times if a company is hired me all the person knows is the company is hired me to end they either selected and asked to get some help or they've been given help and one guy was talking to him and he was like.
23:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you a therapist?
23:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I am not a therapist.
23:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I have never went to school.
23:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even think I'm taking a psychology class.
23:57
[SPEAKER_00]: But the reason I think they ask that is because if you hear time management, you're thinking someone's going to come and say, all right, how many hours?
24:03
[SPEAKER_00]: How many things you want to get done?
24:04
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's chop this up.
24:05
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to start here at night.
24:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't work like that.
24:07
[SPEAKER_00]: That my work is very different.
24:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're looking for someone to help you treat people like machines, do not call me.
24:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to know the person because the best way to
24:19
[SPEAKER_00]: to know exactly what you want because what you want might be different from my next client.
24:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I have to give you something a little bit different.
24:24
[SPEAKER_00]: The principles are the same, but the application is different.
24:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think
24:28
[SPEAKER_00]: When you said that, I mean, we think that multiple times I'm asked like have they secretly hired a therapist and not and telling me is under the guise of time management, I think it's because I truly care about people and I think if you want to talk about your time, we have to talk about your life and you have to do some of the work or that some of the work.
24:45
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to do the work.
24:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just drawing to your attention, but if you're not willing to say, you're right, I do need to start
24:52
[SPEAKER_00]: putting my phone away during this time of this time.
24:54
[SPEAKER_00]: You're right, I do need to sit some boundaries on my inbox and how I don't just keep it open.
24:58
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're not willing to see the places where you have to make some different choices to make things better, it's going to be really hard to work with me and succeed.
25:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think this goes back to your beginning point of not you kind of help people put the authority back into their hands.
25:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Because if you, if you don't have an understanding of yourself, like you made earlier, you won't feel like you have the confidence to be able to do it with a better and you don't know that until you start asking yourself the questions versus time it like you said, comparing, especially a corporate setting, you're comparing your performance,
25:38
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a question I would ask myself, but I also am very interested in versus somebody else might be like I need to do what they're doing so I love that it's almost like you put the authority back into their their hands to be able to see that they actually had agency over it.
25:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, because if I don't, then you're, you're always going to just be looking for the crutch.
25:59
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to look for someone to blame or someone to help you, but it's kind of the thing of the best teachers are the ones who make eventually make myself and not necessarily anymore because I'm giving you the tools on how to start thinking about it.
26:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, now you know the questions to ask yourself, now you know when you're going outside of a boundary, you can fill it in your body, you can see, okay, this is what I said.
26:19
[SPEAKER_00]: That's my hope is to empower, well, really,
26:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I think people actually already have the power it's just to show you that you already had it.
26:26
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not even to say I'm giving you this power.
26:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying you have it, but here's how you activate it.
26:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You can choose to ignore it.
26:32
[SPEAKER_00]: You can choose to go a different route.
26:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I always say things like, I don't have hacks for you.
26:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have a time management hack of the day because hacks are band aids.
26:40
[SPEAKER_00]: It might help you for a little bit while your motivation is high.
26:43
[SPEAKER_00]: But if I can teach you habits and character and like how to actually think in the questions to ask,
26:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
26:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
26:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so let's kind of get into some interesting topics.
26:57
[SPEAKER_01]: As saw that you really like to talk about Martha and Mary.
27:01
[SPEAKER_01]: So tell me a little bit about how that shows up in your work.
27:05
[SPEAKER_01]: It has this story like come a laugh for you as you talk about what you do.
27:11
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a funny couple of weeks ago in Sunday school.
27:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't remember when we were talking about, but I raised my hand.
27:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I start talking about Mary and Martha.
27:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And when my friend takes me, she was like, it's always gonna go back to Mary and Martha with you.
27:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, it will.
27:21
[SPEAKER_00]: It is.
27:22
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just to me such a beautiful example of priority.
27:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And how you can do the things you want to do, but if you try to do them in the wrong order, it's just going to lead to chaos.
27:33
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's Luke 10.
27:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I always have it.
27:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I had it pulled up already.
27:37
[SPEAKER_00]: What I love about it, and they're different, I usually read from New King James version, but what Jesus told her Martha Martha, you are worried and troubled.
27:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And then there's another translation that says anxious, right?
27:49
[SPEAKER_00]: You're all these things about many things, but one thing is needed in Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her, Mary is the one who chose to sit at his feet.
27:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And it wasn't that the serving wasn't important.
28:00
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not that the things you want to do in your life aren't important, right?
28:04
[SPEAKER_00]: But again, is that productivity versus intentional, Mary was intentional.
28:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I understand we have to feed Jesus, we have to prepare this thing.
28:14
[SPEAKER_00]: But before we do that, why not worship before we work?
28:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think when you put it in that order, the worship informs the work and now the work is actually going to have some bear some fruit.
28:25
[SPEAKER_00]: as opposed to me just clanging some things together because I know it needs to be done.
28:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to operate like that.
28:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I always want to put first things first and it's kind of like putting the value first.
28:34
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what Mary did.
28:35
[SPEAKER_00]: She put the value of before I do anything else.
28:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, what are the odds that I get to be in the presence of Jesus Christ?
28:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And the first thing I'm going to do is leave the room and start scrubbing dishes.
28:47
[SPEAKER_00]: That'll make no sense.
28:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what a lot of people do.
28:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you have the opportunity.
28:52
[SPEAKER_00]: You can look at it from in your day.
28:54
[SPEAKER_00]: You can start your day fellowship and I start my day right down here my office before anyone wakes up because I need to worship before I start the work because that might is going to inform the work of the day is going to inform the work of my life.
29:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And so for me, I love the illustration we got in just a few short verses with Mary and Martha because we see what happens when we when we put things in the wrong order.
29:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you find yourself worried, troubled, anxious?
29:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you pointing the finger at somebody else and saying, this person should be doing X, Y, and Z?
29:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you another people's business?
29:28
[SPEAKER_00]: All of these things can be a sign that you have not put things in the proper print.
29:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And
29:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, doing the right thing the wrong way makes it a wrong thing.
29:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think a lot of times we find ourselves doing things that we think are good, are okay, are Christian like, but if it's done in the wrong order and then the wrong heart, you might as well be doing just just about anything.
29:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's just what this gives us example of just making sure we put things in the proper order.
29:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I love talking about Mary and Martha because that is such a beautiful example.
29:58
[SPEAKER_00]: If you, if you have questions about what do I do here?
30:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think how it formed the work.
30:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think we all discern that.
30:09
[SPEAKER_01]: I think like the key takeaway from what she said is like anxious and worried.
30:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Especially for someone who might have a full life, especially with the kids, you might work.
30:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Try to be right, have to figure out what are these kids going to eat today?
30:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Like the mundane things will overtake your life if you let them.
30:29
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think what she said about the order
30:32
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a telltale science of you being anxious and worried.
30:36
[SPEAKER_01]: When you are doing the doings of doing versus the order structure like you named was sitting down at his feet, it's like those things then inform the rest of your day.
30:45
[SPEAKER_01]: That literally happens to me this morning, John, and that's a shot that I'd like me to whatever happens to me today, but all this week, I told my friends, I need to be in front of my daddy.
30:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And I called daddy, I called daddy, I'm like, I need to sit down, I need to sit down, I need to sit down.
30:59
[SPEAKER_01]: and today I came to our office and I wrote all these things on my dryer is where to say you know what?
31:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me tool out my prayer book and just pray a couple of verses out.
31:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
31:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Did that for about 45 minutes and it was like everything in my brain should all shift and I was able to execute the day with more peace, more calm, just because again I keep name the orders shifted.
31:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you did exactly what he anxious for nothing by everything in prayer's application, make your request known.
31:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And the God of peace will give you half his peace.
31:30
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what you got.
31:31
[SPEAKER_00]: That's his promise.
31:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know it's hard when it's like, but I have so much to do and that's where faith comes in.
31:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Because time, I mean, who created time?
31:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want, if you need someone to help make more time, give some of your time to who created time, who can manipulate time.
31:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the only person.
31:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's exactly what you did.
31:50
[SPEAKER_00]: You said, I'm gonna pause here.
31:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just going to be reflective, talk to the Lord, think about him, just even thinking about it, you know, think on these things was just good, pure, lovely, good report.
32:00
[SPEAKER_00]: All the things you've seen I heard we do before.
32:02
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're going to think about something, think about these things.
32:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I was just saying to someone else, if you literally have a 50-50 choice, you can think about stuff that's frustrating, upset, unjust, unfair, illegal.
32:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Or you can think about the things scripture tell us too.
32:15
[SPEAKER_00]: You can do either one, where will be better?
32:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Why not choose this one?
32:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's not done to make these things go away, but it's gonna affect the you that's in the world like to do them.
32:23
[SPEAKER_00]: You will find yourself a lot of times situations don't change.
32:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not the thing that has to change.
32:28
[SPEAKER_00]: It's you, that's the point.
32:30
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what we get from sitting at his feet.
32:31
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what we get from parents application.
32:33
[SPEAKER_00]: The joy, the peace that passes understanding.
32:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's not, he's it in this world, you're gonna have trouble.
32:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's not to avoid the trouble, but it's to be a more resilient person going through the trouble.
32:42
[SPEAKER_00]: and understanding how that makes the whole situation different.
32:46
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the whole point.
32:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
32:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
32:48
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's talk practically to give people some things that they can do.
32:52
[SPEAKER_01]: How would you describe building better systems or capacity?
32:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Those two things are very different.
32:59
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you want to take whichever one you like for people who might.
33:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Or let's start here, actually let's start here.
33:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Talk about where to start.
33:07
[SPEAKER_01]: For someone who feels overwhelmed with their calendar and kind of just unsure to even where to begin, they're having all of this and they're here, like, okay, I need to grab myself, I need to look in and like, what do you tell them for someone who might be feeling those things where to start?
33:23
[SPEAKER_00]: that's literally the name of my program where to start because I think that is the question I get the most, well, where do I start?
33:30
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you start?
33:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like when I talked about that my top to bottom planning.
33:33
[SPEAKER_00]: The first thing is just to pause for a second, don't be afraid to pause and before you think about all the things you think you want to accomplish, go back to the top.
33:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Who are you and what do you value?
33:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Get really clear on what that is.
33:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not picking some words that look good on like a poster, live laugh love.
33:51
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not it.
33:52
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to ask yourself, what are the things I'm willing to fight for?
33:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm going to fight for freedom.
33:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to fight for faith and I'm going to fight for joy.
33:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, they're woven into your DNA.
34:01
[SPEAKER_00]: They're how you make decisions and choices.
34:03
[SPEAKER_00]: It's what moves you.
34:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm one of their things don't.
34:06
[SPEAKER_00]: right and be honest about that if it's power name it don't don't safe fluffy things that aren't true to you right because our then you're already starting off in the red so getting really clear on what it is you value because those also become decision filters when you're trying to make choices get really clear and honest about the season that you're in that's the second component of that
34:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And like I said, I have what I call like a values vault that really helps you think through that and the name your season and you can start with thinking about your season and it's I will say what are your responsibilities, what are like the requirements like required not the things you like to do what's required in this season, what are the opportunities in your season and then what are the boundaries necessary in your season because now that gives you like here's the time that I actually have most people are trying to do too much.
34:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Most people are trying to do are doing too much, not even to are doing too much.
34:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's leaving.
34:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I always say if you are trying to take one cup, that's you.
35:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And feel 17 little classes, 17 people are going to come up to drink and all of them are going to be thirsty.
35:08
[SPEAKER_00]: You've done nothing for anybody and now you're also empty.
35:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you have one cup and you're pouring into one cup, it's gonna overflow.
35:17
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're pouring to two cups, that is really where you want to be.
35:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Most people, and it's like you have to be able to understand the long-term vision.
35:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think people like, if I don't make it all happen now, it's not gonna happen.
35:28
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, that's not how a tree is grown.
35:30
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not how it works.
35:33
[SPEAKER_00]: be okay with planning the seeds right now knowing that the fruit will come and I don't know when that will be it could be a decade from now.
35:41
[SPEAKER_00]: It could be that you there's an experience you need to have and growth that's happening that will make this thing you're trying to have.
35:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, experience much better and more fruitful and for your good, I think the so the seasonal part is really important and and stop being team too much and then we narrowly plan our days and then practically speaking, I always say I have three planning non-negotiable rules previewing your week every week and writing before Sunday ends you need to have in writing knowing what your o-clock sorry for the week knowing what's most important knowing when to stop at what point in the week am I ready to stop you to plan every day and writing.
36:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, knowing what you need to do, what are the necessary necessary, only necessary things.
36:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're not right not just generic to do this.
36:26
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not living from one long list day to day.
36:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I hate to do this.
36:28
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like junk drawers.
36:29
[SPEAKER_00]: You just keep adding things in there and then the important and unimportant get mixed up and a lot gets lost.
36:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And the third is let everything else live somewhere else.
36:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I like to put mine in what I have called everything spreadsheet.
36:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So that all those other things ideas that are not for right now, they live somewhere.
36:45
[SPEAKER_00]: They're categorized, but they're not in your head and they're not on a list you're looking.
36:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I should not be looking at something for November on August 27th.
36:54
[SPEAKER_00]: that makes no sense.
36:55
[SPEAKER_00]: That's exite.
36:56
[SPEAKER_00]: That is me trying to be present today, but also casting out into November.
37:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's really just narrowing your focus.
37:04
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a lot of what I also try to end doing.
37:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to narrow your focus because if you can just focus on the present and be 100 percent today, and again, that's scripture, right?
37:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Tomorrow has its own worries.
37:14
[SPEAKER_00]: We got to focus on today.
37:16
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I have my trademark saying one today at a time, which is different from one
37:24
[SPEAKER_00]: one two day at a time.
37:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm just in today focused on today.
37:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So I can be present today and that's the best way to make tomorrow richer anyway.
37:32
[SPEAKER_00]: There's nothing I can do thinking worrying about tomorrow.
37:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You know why worry doesn't add a few but to your stature.
37:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Also scripture.
37:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And so those are some places where I would start is that those two top tiers and then making sure you're actually writing things down.
37:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Please stop out here, wing in it.
37:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Just waking up and figuring out as you go.
37:50
[SPEAKER_00]: How's that working out for you?
37:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
37:52
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't work.
37:53
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't work.
37:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it does not.
37:54
[SPEAKER_01]: And for people that Like you said, everyone is doing too much What have you found or was some conversations you've had to apply?
38:02
[SPEAKER_01]: It's once they discover or they had bahaha that I'm doing too much I think I know it's a therapist.
38:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I will tell a client you're doing too many things
38:10
[SPEAKER_01]: As I work with a lot of women, my core person that comes to me for counseling are women who are at responsibility that are completely burnt out because they hold so many hats and men lives and they overdue for other people and never do for themselves.
38:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And so what I also just say, you're doing too much, it's like, they don't believe me until we really get down the funnel of you actually do, I actually do not give myself any time.
38:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
38:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And so for when you're kind of seeing that of somebody that might be, I'm pretty sure if I'm an attorney or even, they'd be someone that holds a lot of responsibility.
38:46
[SPEAKER_01]: This idea of I'm doing too much feel so hard for them to rationalize for them or even accept what are some things that you kind of may say or feedback you give to help them kind of understand that that
39:03
[SPEAKER_00]: One of two things, first coming to mind.
39:05
[SPEAKER_00]: The first is sometimes I need to understand what agreement did you come with?
39:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, who made you believe that to be important, to be successful equals like always going.
39:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Always on the go, trying to be on every board, trying to be this in that.
39:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that when we're operating from, is this a belief like this is how you have to operate, this is what should it should look like because if that's the case, then we need to do some of that work so that you can understand that those are all lies and agreements that need to be like uprooted.
39:37
[SPEAKER_00]: The second thing is I come from a place of self-love because I don't think you can't be a steward of your time and not lack self-love.
39:45
[SPEAKER_00]: We can have self accountability but also I think they both are necessary because honestly is it loving to drag yourself down to the bone for the sake of saying but I gave so much to this person and that person and this person and are you trying to are you being manipulative?
40:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you doing that so that you can be perceived as a self-sacrificial, great person because also if that's the case, we got to do some work with that.
40:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of time it is understanding why you believe you have to do this so that you can see, this is a choice.
40:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I dug this hole for myself again coming back to self accountability and I have made the choice to stay in it.
40:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And so now I have to do some undoing.
40:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I might have to train some people a little differently about how to teach me.
40:29
[SPEAKER_00]: They know me to be a yes person.
40:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I have to start saying, nose.
40:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have to be okay with what that might look like.
40:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And the stories that might be changed about me and who I am and who you used to do this.
40:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And you have to be so okay with who you are and knowing what matters that when you make decisions that tick other people off, you can still keep moving.
40:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I'm not going to, I think, like I said, I'm not gonna light myself on fire to keep you warm.
40:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that is, and that goes back to that initial thing of understanding who you are, you become unshakable.
41:00
[SPEAKER_00]: My husband makes fun of me all the time.
41:01
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, you really are unbothered.
41:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I really am.
41:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not my job to make you know the truth about me, because I already know it, and I know God does.
41:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody else is a bonus if you get to figure it out.
41:14
[SPEAKER_00]: But you thinking something differently because of how I honor my choices, like honor my values, that's not my business.
41:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And so a lot of times it's just getting to understand why?
41:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Because different people arrive at that place for different reasons.
41:27
[SPEAKER_00]: For me, it used to be wanting to be perceived to be something.
41:32
[SPEAKER_00]: It was really important of how I was perceived.
41:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to learn that that mattered to me and that had to learn, I don't want it to matter to me.
41:41
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, because why does it?
41:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Because who's winning, who's losing?
41:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't want to keep being on the losing hand at my own hand.
41:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And so a lot of times, the work is figuring out why you've allowed yourself to be in this place in the first time and then working from that.
41:55
[SPEAKER_00]: which is some which is for some people a lot a lot of work and some it doesn't take a lot.
42:00
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think that's where I like to start to figure out why why are you here in the first place.
42:04
[SPEAKER_01]: That's really, really, really good.
42:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
42:06
[SPEAKER_01]: One more question before we close building better systems.
42:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I know that I hear all the time you are succumb to the systems you have in your life.
42:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think this goes back to choice.
42:17
[SPEAKER_01]: So tell me how you kind of coach our clients through building better systems and allow them to have that full list.
42:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think it goes back to your framework that you talked about maybe how to they walk through that.
42:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it depends because there are different type of systems too for talking about professionally like what are the tools you can use that can help you say out of your inbox, things like that.
42:36
[SPEAKER_00]: It would tell my personally.
42:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So so that question can go anywhere, but when I think about what you just kind of give us like a what like what systems are let's talk through that first and then that can kind of inform that question.
42:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I look at a system as something that is set up to make one part of your life easier or your work easier like any segment of your life and I like to say life because I don't look at it like work in life is life and work is a part of life so what is something that I can set up I go routine I love routines teach routines in my program right now routine like what can I set up that is.
43:09
[SPEAKER_00]: automatically happens or it's kind of like set to a trigger and it's like a down effect so that it works.
43:15
[SPEAKER_00]: That can look like anything.
43:17
[SPEAKER_00]: A system can be on Tuesdays we wash towels.
43:20
[SPEAKER_00]: On Tuesdays in my house we call it towel Tuesday.
43:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Towels are washed, dried, and folded.
43:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Another system in my house, the laundry has to be washed, dried, folded, and put away the same day.
43:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody has their own day.
43:30
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a system so that no one's guessing like, oh, we're all out of clean towels.
43:34
[SPEAKER_00]: What happened?
43:34
[SPEAKER_00]: They didn't get
43:39
[SPEAKER_00]: a system can be really like you think about it the way you set up your day.
43:43
[SPEAKER_00]: So my days Monday through Friday follow the same flow.
43:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Me, family, work, family, friends, me.
43:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's me first thing in the morning.
43:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Me and here by myself, then family, making breakfast, helping my husband get everybody out the door, they leave out the door, then I come up here, work, work after work through a club, time for carpool, children, taking people places in there,
44:07
[SPEAKER_00]: come back homework, get everyone dinner, bed, now back to me, how I close my day, making sure my day is playing for tomorrow.
44:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And so for me, that's a system.
44:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Monday through Friday, that's what it's looking like, Monday through Thursday.
44:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But Friday too.
44:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So like, that's a system that it's not necessarily written, but it's just the cadence that I've built in my day.
44:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't have to come and start my day thinking, okay, what am I gonna do this morning?
44:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I always say, if you don't know for us, if you don't know where you're praying tomorrow morning, I don't think you can't pray tomorrow morning.
44:34
[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't already know,
44:36
[SPEAKER_00]: what time and when you're going to pray tomorrow.
44:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you going to pray tomorrow?
44:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's you already know like if someone says come and get this paycheck Thursday over here on main street.
44:45
[SPEAKER_00]: You made a plan and prioritize Thursday.
44:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to get there early.
44:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Matter of fact.
44:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And if they're doing it, it creates this predictability.
44:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we have our system in our life.
44:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Like my dear friends and my boys know they don't go to after care, mommy picks you up, looking to snack, go to the gym, where at the gym, when it's still 530, we go home.
45:04
[SPEAKER_01]: We dinner.
45:05
[SPEAKER_01]: These probably make you dinner.
45:07
[SPEAKER_01]: We have a little bit of downtime to play.
45:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Bath time, bedtime.
45:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And Thursday, my husband picks them up after he gets off our Friday, we do movie night.
45:16
[SPEAKER_01]: We either go to a movie or we do movie night at home.
45:20
[SPEAKER_01]: No, every Friday, Friday is without a doubt, movie night.
45:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, I think what I think was your name is like, you need to create the predictability to where there's no question of it and it goes back to what she said the order.
45:37
[SPEAKER_01]: there being some type of order that kind of almost retracts the chaos and creates the boundaries.
45:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I know, but I tell my friends what time don't invite me anymore on Friday nights because Friday night is our family time movie night.
45:50
[SPEAKER_01]: We sit on the couch or watch some type of movie together.
45:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And they know I don't go anymore on Fridays.
45:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, and that's, is it?
45:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love that.
45:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's predictability, which is so great for all humans, but children, it's like, it's the predictability.
46:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I try not to make real-time decisions unless it's something that actually has to be real-time.
46:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's one of the things, most people are like, okay, what am I gonna do now?
46:10
[SPEAKER_00]: What am I gonna do now?
46:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, by the end of the day, there's like two hours you lost and trying to make decisions that you could have already put in place the day before, or the week before, building these types of routines.
46:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right, I love that.
46:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
46:23
[SPEAKER_01]: So closing, just tell us not to have where can we find you, where can people write it out best today, one time or one to date membership?
46:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Just talk us a little bit about what you offer, where people can find you and what you do.
46:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm at shantagrant.com.
46:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm on Instagram at shantagrant.
46:42
[SPEAKER_00]: S-H-U-N-T-A-H-R-A-N-T.
46:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a membership for women called one-to-date at a time membership.
46:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I teach a workshop once a month.
46:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have, we start every month, focus first.
46:53
[SPEAKER_00]: The first Thursday to the month, we have quarterly planning.
46:56
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just the one-o-hub for our community.
46:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's where I get to do my teaching at the most.
47:01
[SPEAKER_00]: affordable level, because if you're bringing me in for corporations and companies and speaking that's such a high investment, which is worth it, but I like to have that because that helps me work with just the everyday woman, which I am the everyday woman as well.
47:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so there's that membership.
47:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I also have coaching available that information is found on my website.
47:19
[SPEAKER_00]: But really, you can get on my email list.
47:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I use an email every Wednesday call worth reading Wednesday.
47:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just sharing some either a lesson or whatever I have going on.
47:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Those are the easiest places to find me if I get in there.
47:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I teach what to start, which is where I recommend everyone to start.
47:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is can be found at whattostart.me.
47:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
47:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
47:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, thank you so much, Chante.
47:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
47:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
47:41
[SPEAKER_01]: For information in the description.
47:43
[SPEAKER_01]: This was a great conversation.
47:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope you all enjoyed it.
47:45
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'll see you next week on the podcast.
47:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Bye.
47:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you again.