Latest / A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast / Talks to Rod Brown about his choice of The Pirate Planet (3/4)

Transcript

Talks to Rod Brown about his choice of The Pirate Planet (3/4) · A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast

• 0:23
  None. Hamster with a blunt.
• 0:34
  Pen knife for doing quicker, quicker, quicker.
• 0:39
  Welcome back to our hamster with a blunt pen knife, The Doctor
• 0:42
  Who Commentary podcast. Mr. Rob Brown.
• 0:46
  Hello. Hello Joe, we are loving the
• 0:49
  pirate planets at the moment. That's right, I was trying to
• 0:52
  think of some witty lion from the Pirate Planet to sort of
• 0:54
  introduce this with Burns. Of madness.
• 0:58
  Well, I know what I feel like saying on on strictly.
• 1:00
  Why am I encumbered by incompetence?
• 1:03
  Yeah, that's. Just the guess.
• 1:08
  What you're asking Moffett? Episodes.
• 1:10
  Not at all. Oh, you always say nothing yet.
• 1:16
  We are here for the Pirate Planet episode 3.
• 1:19
  Which I think is my favorite. Of the four.
• 1:22
  Of the four. Oh, I think 4 was my favorite,
• 1:24
  but I'll I'll get into that. Blistering scenes in this.
• 1:28
  And episode four, well, I'll tell you what, you know what?
• 1:31
  I'm going to jump straight in then, and I'm going to ask you
• 1:34
  to explain yourself, Sir. Well, we're going to get to it,
• 1:38
  but the scene with the Captain and Tom where Tom really loses
• 1:42
  his rag, I think it's possibly Tom's best scene in the whole of
• 1:46
  Doctor Who because he just feels off the leash.
• 1:49
  It doesn't feel acted. His voice cracks when he does
• 1:53
  that. What's it for his?
• 1:55
  It's just he's so full of rage and anger and the two of them
• 2:00
  play that so unbelievably brilliant.
• 2:03
  I mean, if that's, you know, has stand on the end of your arm
• 2:06
  during that scene, I just think that is stupendous.
• 2:10
  Why? You know, yes, I love thee.
• 2:12
  You know, there should the scenes in Genesis, but I just
• 2:16
  think, I think I knocked it out the hat.
• 2:19
  Tom doesn't lose control very often like that.
• 2:24
  That line reading of what's you remember what I said to you when
• 2:26
  we did this strictly on 7A and we did a tackle Mercy.
• 2:30
  And I said that the doctor's so angry he doesn't know.
• 2:34
  And this is another example of that, where he's just that the
• 2:38
  scale of what's going on is so inconceivable.
• 2:41
  He just loses it, doesn't he and the and the sort of the the
• 2:45
  death toll of what this must, you know, entail he.
• 2:50
  Sells that. He really sells that to me.
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  When he's, you know, what could possibly be worth all this?
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  He just sells. I don't think I've ever seen Tom
• 2:58
  act as well as in that scene. We're in a period now where
• 3:01
  obviously they cannot show us the scale.
• 3:04
  Remember when the Flux had that scene, that dreadful CGI scene
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  of those people going, oh, there's a camera, That's the
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  Flux. That's what that's what they're
• 3:13
  basically talking about here. Absolutely, because.
• 3:16
  We're all sold through a single brilliant performance.
• 3:19
  And I, yeah, people say in the 70s, you know, oh, well, it had
• 3:22
  all had to be done through the acting.
• 3:24
  Yeah. But look how effective that is.
• 3:26
  Yeah. Yeah, because we do.
• 3:28
  We do lose some. So obviously we're going to get
• 3:30
  to the bit where they want to mine quartz and they're going to
• 3:33
  mine Earth. We don't get, we don't get a
• 3:35
  shot of Earth, we don't get anything.
• 3:37
  Whereas in the modern series you'd have shots of Earth as we
• 3:40
  did in Run Score. I've call us, but we don't get
• 3:43
  any of those shotty because they haven't got the money to do
• 3:46
  that. So you lose that.
• 3:47
  Yes, they've introduced the threat being against us, but I
• 3:50
  don't think we ever really feel that because we don't see it.
• 3:53
  But the pay off for that is that we get great story, great
• 3:57
  twists, great dialogue, great acting.
• 3:59
  When when that lands, that joke about.
• 4:04
  The planet that they need to go to next.
• 4:06
  Is Earth. I think that's inspired because
• 4:09
  at that, at this point, we're like, OK, the Earth is not.
• 4:12
  Going to be involved. We're not in danger.
• 4:13
  It's fine. And then we don't know.
• 4:15
  When this is set, this could be now, literally now for us.
• 4:19
  The planet's about to come along and eat.
• 4:20
  Us up. And that comes right at the end
• 4:22
  of the story, yeah. It's great, isn't it?
• 4:24
  I think it's wonderful. Well, look, let's jump into
• 4:28
  three. Let's get into.
• 4:29
  Three, the lights that this has within the the box of delights,
• 4:34
  otherwise known as my TV count as in.
• 4:38
  And in 321. Diddly dumb.
• 4:43
  So is this. Your Is this your favorite title
• 4:45
  sequence? I think it's probably Mccoy's.
• 4:49
  Oh no, I my favorite as a Doctor Who fan is the first one.
• 4:54
  I just think there's, I just like the experimental nature of
• 4:58
  that first one and there's just that they were just throwing any
• 5:01
  weird thing out there and seeing what lands.
• 5:04
  This really hits for me because of those old compilation VH s s
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  that they brought out and that's some of the first shots who I
• 5:12
  ever saw. So yes it does.
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  But really the 1st I heard was the one in Battlefield.
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  So it was Macaways was the first one I heard.
• 5:22
  Interesting. Oh, those evil zombies.
• 5:24
  You don't like the bit where the captain goes?
• 5:26
  I'm surrounded by competencies and evil zombies.
• 5:31
  And interfering doctors. Oh, he's so great.
• 5:37
  Oh, here they go. So the mentee had to gun to
• 5:39
  imprison the guards behind a psychic wall.
• 5:44
  OK, that's not too bad. That's not bad.
• 5:46
  The guns are so poor though. Aren't they the gun firing
• 5:49
  effect? It's the gun effect, yeah.
• 5:51
  It's that little BLOB. Whereas, you know, when they did
• 5:53
  it in Underworld and he actually had the lion and all that, I
• 5:56
  thought that was quite effective.
• 5:57
  Yeah, I would agree because. He's watched it this week, so
• 6:01
  no. Oh well, the action's over now,
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  so he goes. I don't understand.
• 6:09
  Exciting, isn't it? Says Tom Paul Mueller.
• 6:13
  She's a bit bored sitting there on the floor.
• 6:18
  It's not often though you do get a side character like that going
• 6:22
  off and having their own plot like you said.
• 6:24
  No, I'm bonding with K9 straight away.
• 6:26
  I like that. I think it's great.
• 6:27
  Again, it's doing something. They're doing something with K9.
• 6:29
  He's not just a plot device, he's got a bit of a storyline of
• 6:32
  his own. The actress thanks Pellet
• 6:35
  Roberts for allowing her to go looking for her mother while
• 6:38
  they're in Wales. Oh, yes, yeah.
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  Apparently she was delighted because she she was estranged
• 6:43
  from her mother and she found her, didn't she?
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  Yeah, how bizarre is that? It's wonderful.
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  Mark goes to me. Couldn't she have just gone to
• 6:49
  Wales? Anytime I'm saying they're
• 6:53
  expensive. From London, all right.
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  It was the 70s for God's sake. I said it's.
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  A fucking anecdote, all right? She just wants.
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  Something to say. On the documentary, let her have
• 7:04
  her moment. We were in three working weeks.
• 7:07
  It wasn't money to spend on trains with the mentiards.
• 7:11
  I try and go around work a bit like that, you know, oh, all the
• 7:15
  stock hasn't been put out. It hasn't been put out.
• 7:19
  You need a little parrot on your shoulder.
• 7:21
  Joe I wasn't accused of being purchased, though.
• 7:23
  I was accused of being Brian Blessed.
• 7:27
  I love the way that polyphase sits on the dead body and just
• 7:30
  swivels its head around like a like an eagle or a bird of prey.
• 7:33
  It's quite. Sinister.
• 7:34
  Isn't it? Yeah.
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  Because we don't actually see. And thank God we don't.
• 7:38
  Because, and it would have fucked it up, we don't actually
• 7:40
  see the the point of death. So we hear it.
• 7:44
  We hear and it's happened twice in two and three.
• 7:48
  We hear the scream. We see the body lying down with
• 7:51
  polyphase sat on the body and I think it works far better.
• 7:55
  I do love the bit where canine fights the polar phase out of a.
• 7:57
  Troll. Oh no no, that lets this episode
• 8:00
  down. Oh, I.
• 8:01
  Love it. It's because you know why he's
• 8:03
  got evil poo, isn't he? He's like, oh shit.
• 8:05
  And it loads people. It's just so badly directed
• 8:09
  that. But it's a fantastic idea,
• 8:12
  absolutely lovely idea. Nowadays, think about think
• 8:15
  about the Acrylitanes versus canine in School Reunion.
• 8:18
  It would be like that, wouldn't it?
• 8:19
  Yeah. I think it's just shot so
• 8:21
  ineptly. Oh man, this scene Rod, this
• 8:24
  exposition scene now. Yeah, this is again.
• 8:27
  This was the scene I thought you were talking about earlier when
• 8:30
  you said such a clever exposition.
• 8:32
  Scene. It is now this.
• 8:33
  Yeah. This is the one, yeah.
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  Yeah, you've got Romana delivering lines.
• 8:36
  You've got the Doctor delivering lines.
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  You just did once you went vanish, Yeah, Vanish.
• 8:42
  Everybody's involved. So you've got all these
• 8:44
  different persons like they're all discovering together, but
• 8:46
  they've kind of all got points to add, yes.
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  And the plot was about, or the script was originally that the
• 8:52
  doctor was supposed to get irritated with Romana jumping
• 8:55
  in. Now, I much prefer the way they
• 8:57
  play it here because they're they're both of, they're both
• 9:00
  equals and they're both coming to the same conclusions.
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  They're both delivering that exposition.
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  And I think that's far better. Because you can see the horror
• 9:09
  as they're realizing. The people on this planet are
• 9:11
  realizing what's going on it. That's what makes the impact.
• 9:16
  Absolutely. And we've now cleared up the
• 9:18
  Mentiads are not the evil force. And I love that idea that
• 9:22
  they're absorbing the life force of the planet.
• 9:24
  Again. Such a really clever idea.
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  These poor planets are being squashed and the life force, the
• 9:29
  Gaia, whatever you want to call it, is, is infecting the and
• 9:33
  creating the mentiads again. Really big bold ideas, aren't
• 9:37
  they? What I will say is that Chipnall
• 9:43
  himself says that he didn't have time to give Ramsgrav Kolos a
• 9:48
  second or third draft. He had run out of time at the
• 9:50
  end of the season. So that's his least favorite
• 9:53
  script as well. But what it does do is it kind
• 9:58
  of takes his ideas and shows if they're just presented as
• 10:02
  science fiction. Those ideas are.
• 10:06
  That if you don't have fun with them and if you don't present it
• 10:09
  as a as a mystery with suspense, then it is just a a wacky idea.
• 10:17
  And it was just, yeah, it was just lifeless, wasn't it?
• 10:19
  I remember when they started talking about planets.
• 10:21
  Oh gosh, just a pirate planet done badly.
• 10:23
  I mean, I do like it when she's got the planet in the rucksack
• 10:25
  on her back. That's quite nice visual.
• 10:30
  There are a few things I like about that episode, but how it
• 10:33
  handles these ideas is not one of them.
• 10:35
  No, which is a shame because you know, now they've got the budget
• 10:41
  to do these ideas brilliantly and in fact.
• 10:43
  They do the one. Thing there but they can't do
• 10:47
  here, which is show all the planets oh absolutely to life,
• 10:51
  you know. This matters not.
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  A quark. A reference to a quark in there
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  well. Praise will be happy.
• 11:00
  Oh, just how much business Mr. Fibly does?
• 11:03
  And the way mince is about it's. Glorious together, the two of
• 11:07
  them, aren't they? And now we're starting to talk
• 11:09
  about Queens Sanxia. So we had one reference to, I
• 11:12
  think in episode one, Balaton made some vague reference to,
• 11:15
  you know, spitting. You would have missed it.
• 11:17
  But now suddenly we're starting to introduce the legend of
• 11:20
  Queens Sanxia. So we get the history of the
• 11:23
  planet. Now this is again, and I can see
• 11:25
  why some people maybe don't bond with this.
• 11:28
  As I was saying right at the beginning, where there are quite
• 11:31
  a lot of talky exposition scenes.
• 11:33
  We got a lot of back history delivered via dialogue.
• 11:37
  It's a great dialogue. I'm not not.
• 11:41
  That's classic Doctor Who, though.
• 11:42
  There is action in classic Doctor Who, but there's a shit
• 11:45
  ton of talk as well. I'm just and I'd rather this
• 11:48
  than coming up time lash. I'm just trying to find reasons
• 11:51
  why this doesn't sing to people as much as some of the so-called
• 11:55
  classics. And I think this is, I think
• 11:57
  this should be up there in the top, certainly in the top ten of
• 12:00
  Toms. Oh, for sure.
• 12:02
  Yeah, easily in my top 50. This.
• 12:05
  Yeah, easily. Sorry, not Toms.
• 12:08
  I mean overall. Yes, yeah.
• 12:09
  Yeah, top 50. Times somewhere in his.
• 12:13
  Life 43, yeah. Is that how many he's got?
• 12:16
  OK. 41. I think it's because this is
• 12:19
  pandemic. I think that's why.
• 12:20
  I think it's because it's got large performances and you can't
• 12:24
  take it entirely seriously. And, you know, I love Toby Halo
• 12:28
  with all my heart. Yeah.
• 12:29
  But I know as a kid and sometimes as an adult that's
• 12:34
  sort of very serious. And Razzani, Genesis and the
• 12:36
  Daleks, that stuff that you can kind of show your mates and not
• 12:40
  be too embarrassed by. That's the stuff that's sort of
• 12:43
  held up. Heaven send, you know, very
• 12:46
  serious, very arty, very worthy. Doctor Who.
• 12:51
  No fucking fun. This is so fun.
• 12:53
  Maybe I'm just weird then because I like the series of say
• 12:56
  Series 9 and I love this as well so.
• 12:59
  Well, you are weird, yeah. Maybe I'm just weird.
• 13:01
  Yeah, well, you like it all. He.
• 13:06
  Had one or two. And even.
• 13:07
  There you like half of that season.
• 13:09
  We did, yeah. We haven't done Series 11 yet,
• 13:11
  no. No.
• 13:16
  We've got the two of them again, captain of Fibulae.
• 13:18
  They they did a lot of business, didn't they?
• 13:20
  Well, it's the the person in charge of the subordinate.
• 13:23
  It's Iron Gron and Blood Axe. It's Rugger and brotha Dak.
• 13:27
  Yeah. It's it's always fun.
• 13:30
  But again, they're they're also filling in the other side of the
• 13:32
  story that Tom's just been talking about.
• 13:35
  So how the captain first came to the planet.
• 13:37
  So he's telling us the other you would not be able to distinguish
• 13:41
  it from magic. I built it rot after a Blum
• 13:45
  penknife with my bare hands. This vile, lumbering planet.
• 13:53
  Because you see with he's telling us now there is more to
• 13:55
  it now. We don't know at this stage that
• 13:57
  he's got another plan. So what?
• 14:01
  He was pulled out of the wreckage, right?
• 14:03
  So he. Was carved by Zanxia.
• 14:05
  Zanxia basically turned him into this half what, Cyborg?
• 14:09
  I guess half robot and then as a result.
• 14:13
  Then he built. The pirate planet for her.
• 14:16
  Correct with the planet to one side, which is this kind of
• 14:21
  secret because that's why he's going to want to use to disrupt
• 14:24
  the time dams to kill her off. I mean, it's very clever.
• 14:27
  It's a sort of storytelling that gets me really excited.
• 14:30
  Yeah. It all ties out.
• 14:32
  It's very, very clever. It's very neat, and we get it.
• 14:36
  You know that old cliche of an onion?
• 14:37
  You peel away a layer. But this really does.
• 14:39
  It's almost. Better to time.
• 14:41
  Baffling. To think that Underworld was
• 14:44
  just four stories ago. There's.
• 14:46
  No, just. There's no just.
• 14:48
  Which is as. Dull as science?
• 14:50
  Fiction can possibly come. But I mean in terms of the.
• 14:53
  Story Underworld, You know. Rebels, you know.
• 14:56
  It's going to. Find our ancestors on a mad
• 14:59
  computer. So this.
• 15:01
  One story and then a couple of bombs at the end, yeah.
• 15:04
  But this goes to show you what happens when new creatives come
• 15:08
  in, isn't it? Anthony Reed stepped in.
• 15:10
  Now, Douglas Adams, you know, fertile imaginations and.
• 15:14
  This is his first. I mean, this is his first script
• 15:16
  for Doctor Who. It feels like he's been doing it
• 15:18
  for years, doesn't it? He's a very, very accomplished
• 15:21
  script for first timer. I love the story on the
• 15:24
  documentary of his brother talking about what the house was
• 15:27
  like when Douglas was writing. Apparently he's in his room
• 15:30
  writing the Pirate Planet and it's absolute silence.
• 15:34
  And then, you know, after an hour or that, suddenly there's
• 15:36
  this mad bashing on the typewriter and then it all goes
• 15:39
  wrong. And all you can hear is.
• 15:42
  And then he starts bashing away at the.
• 15:44
  Typewriter again, you know. So by all accounts, he was sort
• 15:47
  of a mad genius, but mad being. What?
• 15:52
  And genius being the word as well, because it is genius.
• 15:55
  This is such a clever script. So we've just missed Tom trying
• 16:00
  to steal an air car for the second time.
• 16:02
  And of course, cleverly, the guards have woken up to it now
• 16:05
  and they were ready for him, so he mobilised him.
• 16:08
  Trivia. Who's incompetent cretins?
• 16:16
  He's just doing this mad theatrical sighing in the
• 16:19
  foreground. He's.
• 16:20
  Brilliant, isn't it? So now we've got the first
• 16:22
  reference to. We don't know that's quartz yet,
• 16:24
  but we're starting to throw that little seed in.
• 16:28
  That's the word though, how this script seeds in things that then
• 16:32
  pay off later. Yes, it is so, so clever.
• 16:35
  And again, the nurses in the background, we just missed that
• 16:38
  one shot where she was sat in in the captain's chair actually
• 16:41
  hugging her leg. And you think that's odd body
• 16:43
  language for a nurse. So as you said earlier, bit by
• 16:47
  bit she's starting to go. But then again, she's in the
• 16:49
  background here, listening all the time.
• 16:52
  There's a vital line there where Mr. Fiboli, when I should point
• 16:55
  out so it is a heavily populated planet.
• 16:58
  Well minded Mr. Fiboli. And that just goes to show they
• 17:02
  have got to be stopped. Yes, another planet think of.
• 17:06
  Those people from the flux towards the planet.
• 17:10
  We could have been saved the flux.
• 17:13
  Oh no, come on. This is gorgeous and you know
• 17:16
  it. Oh, now I love this.
• 17:20
  Canine's going to get so again, lots of fans of a certain age
• 17:25
  hated canine, and I probably was of the age that I should have
• 17:29
  hated canine. I fucking loved canine.
• 17:33
  Lots of fans of boggy Welsh countryside are going to be
• 17:37
  happy as well, as Romana now just gets across the landscape
• 17:40
  for a little while. Oh, here we go.
• 17:43
  No more Jonah thorns. No more Jane.
• 17:46
  Yeah. Oh.
• 17:47
  Genesis Thorn Isn't that an out of work?
• 17:48
  Actress. She's an actress.
• 17:50
  Yeah. She was an underworld.
• 17:51
  She was one of the extras. He's got some sweat on his face
• 17:54
  as well, of course. And again, Bruce Purchase has
• 17:58
  toned it right the way down. South Rod, you have discovered
• 18:02
  the secret of our little podcast, have you?
• 18:08
  They're just eyeing each other up.
• 18:11
  I should say about. Strictly, strictly.
• 18:12
  Come, hamster, I'm gratified that you can.
• 18:14
  Appreciate it. I've been tied to better by.
• 18:17
  I've been tied to pillars by better men than you, Joe Ford.
• 18:21
  I'm going. To take this joke to It's
• 18:22
  natural I. Appreciate it for you commit
• 18:26
  opinions and atrocities on a scale that's always
• 18:30
  inconceivable, and you asked me to appreciate it.
• 18:33
  Just because you slag off Lugopolis?
• 18:38
  And leave the mummified remains of the.
• 18:40
  Cast of Fenrick. On canines flying an airship all
• 18:46
  on his own. Of course he is.
• 18:49
  Like this, he's using the Warriors code against him.
• 18:53
  You should have thought about that before you locked me up.
• 18:58
  Hounds of hell. You know Tom Baker could wind
• 19:03
  anybody up. But who?
• 19:03
  Can they? Oh God, yeah.
• 19:04
  Couldn't. He just.
• 19:06
  Look at the scale of the set. You them in the foreground there
• 19:09
  and they do love these concentric patterns on the floor
• 19:12
  the. Then the Graham Williams.
• 19:13
  Era. Yeah, but it just keeps it very
• 19:15
  fluid, doesn't it? We're not just constantly
• 19:17
  pointing the camera in One Direction the set when we're
• 19:20
  back. Mueller was showing a bit of leg
• 19:21
  there. Did you notice?
• 19:22
  I did don't look like the the camping set from carry on
• 19:26
  camping in the middle of winter. It just looks very bad and
• 19:31
  wintry. Yeah, what are they?
• 19:33
  Tombstones. Memorials to other worlds?
• 19:36
  Huge ideas. Come on, why do you love this
• 19:42
  scene so much? It's just the acting.
• 19:44
  It is just, it's Tom. I've never seen Tom this angry
• 19:50
  and he just acts in a slightly different way.
• 19:52
  Almost feels like he's gone beyond that, if that makes
• 19:56
  sense. It feels more real to him.
• 19:58
  I just love his, I think his delivery.
• 20:01
  The lighting is beautiful. And the lighting is.
• 20:03
  Beautiful. The lines.
• 20:04
  The lines are fantastic. The dialogue, just everything
• 20:07
  about it. They're big, big ideas.
• 20:09
  They're just everything. About it, They're being asked to
• 20:12
  sell. Yes.
• 20:14
  Huge techna Babble as well and yet it just trips off their
• 20:17
  tongues. Yes.
• 20:20
  And really look at the set they're in.
• 20:22
  It's a tiny little confined set, but by Christ, they're selling
• 20:28
  every inch out of it, aren't they?
• 20:30
  We could be next to billions of tons of terrible critique and
• 20:34
  not even be aware. Of it.
• 20:35
  Oh, I think we're always aware of that.
• 20:39
  I never shut up, that's why. Concept is simply staggering.
• 20:43
  Pointless, but staggering. I'm gratified you could
• 20:47
  appreciate it, Rod. Appreciate, appreciate it, Bitsy
• 20:53
  stumbles over his words, and not in a Billy Fluff kind of way.
• 20:57
  I think the drama, because he's so angry of that line.
• 21:00
  You commit master structure on murder on a scale that's almost
• 21:04
  inconceivable. That is a tough line to deliver.
• 21:07
  Devil Storm's doctor, It is not a toy.
• 21:12
  Yeah, and then that just that hysteria in his voice.
• 21:15
  And they're both. And look at Bruce Purchase.
• 21:17
  He's kind of moving towards him as though he wants to hit him.
• 21:20
  It's just the soap much penta brage between the two of them.
• 21:23
  And think about this era, you could so easily overplay this,
• 21:28
  you know? Yes.
• 21:29
  Yeah. Like, as much as we love the
• 21:31
  Horns of Nimon, there isn't a moment of drama like that in it,
• 21:34
  no. I think it's a shame they didn't
• 21:37
  cut at that point actually, because we go back to a slightly
• 21:40
  gentler tone. Want Tom doing bizarre shapes
• 21:43
  with his hands? He can't.
• 21:45
  Help it can. I wish we'd just cut it at that
• 21:47
  point. And just so, now we're back in
• 21:50
  Willy. Wales.
• 21:51
  That is comfortably one of the best moments in classic Who?
• 21:54
  Oh. Absolutely, 100%.
• 21:56
  And it's just so perfectly encapsulates classic Doctor Who
• 22:01
  in that it is huge ideas captured between two actors.
• 22:05
  Yes, in a tiny little set. Like and it just stimulates the
• 22:10
  imagination. I can't.
• 22:13
  I mean I didn't watch this that young.
• 22:14
  I was AI was a teenager when I saw this but I imagine like an 8
• 22:17
  year old watching this. So I was what, 12 watching this?
• 22:24
  Absolutely nothing. This is great because he goes to
• 22:27
  get the key and then he goes to stamp him.
• 22:29
  So it's really sadistic, isn't it?
• 22:31
  And you can see how how many inches his shoes are raised by
• 22:35
  to give him height 0. My God, he's going to have his
• 22:37
  brilliant line than him, you hideous murdering maniac.
• 22:41
  And again, you've got Kemus and Tom in the front, you've got the
• 22:43
  pirate captain behind, slightly blurred, but he's listening to
• 22:47
  what they're saying because Tom thinks he's got the upper hand
• 22:50
  here because the mentiads can save them.
• 22:52
  But obviously the captain and I love that with Tom.
• 22:55
  And the timing, here he goes. Absolutely William Max.
• 22:59
  Knife five, Yes. And the crystals from Calia
• 23:02
  fracs. Oh.
• 23:03
  No, he goes. My dramatic irony is at an all
• 23:05
  time low. It's so.
• 23:07
  Funny, I got that. Line wrong then didn't.
• 23:10
  I was the line. Sorry my my biorhythms must be a
• 23:14
  small time low so. Great.
• 23:19
  I used to throw these lines into everyday conversation.
• 23:22
  I'll bet you nobody had. Any idea what the hell I was
• 23:24
  talking? About you know, Rod, you're the
• 23:26
  classic example of an inverse ratio between the size of the
• 23:28
  mouth and the size of the brain. Thank you, Joe.
• 23:31
  Oh. Go and throw one at me.
• 23:35
  Hideous murdering maniac. Oh.
• 23:38
  Thank you. I wanted to see how it worked,
• 23:43
  so I dismantled it. There's just so many grails
• 23:46
  around. Oh, so now we've gone.
• 23:50
  Qualifies alpha Tron versus K9. Everyone's very static.
• 23:57
  It is shockingly badly directed. If only the.
• 24:01
  Best episode of the of the story.
• 24:03
  It is, and we've gone from that superb scene.
• 24:06
  I love, love love the idea. I do wonder if.
• 24:13
  Sort of totally having that huge.
• 24:16
  Traumatic moment followed up by a sort of a kiddie action
• 24:19
  sequence with a parrot and a robot dog bite each other.
• 24:23
  If sort of just opposing those scenes is a bit jarring, that's.
• 24:26
  Doctor Who, isn't it? Yeah, I guess so.
• 24:28
  Yeah, because you're trying to appeal to the kids.
• 24:30
  And the adults, yeah. So I guess it's doing both.
• 24:34
  Just in quick. Succession it.
• 24:36
  Just happens. It's a great idea.
• 24:39
  It just loves crap. Nevermind, it's very funny when
• 24:43
  the doctor comes in with the parrot and my polyphase have a
• 24:48
  troll. It's.
• 24:50
  Very. Funny, I've.
• 24:53
  Gone Audley Telephone. Is this where we find that or a
• 24:56
  blown woman in the time dance? Yes, look at that.
• 24:59
  Now that looks great. Oh, bless her, she looks
• 25:01
  ghastly. Terrible, didn't she?
• 25:03
  Yeah, apparently she asked for an extra feed to take out a
• 25:06
  false teeth. Bless her.
• 25:10
  And it goes well. We were showing her not quite at
• 25:13
  her best. So.
• 25:14
  I'd like to think what her best was.
• 25:17
  She was a great beauty back in the day.
• 25:20
  OK, when was the day? I think that's a really
• 25:23
  effective shot though. Incredibly.
• 25:26
  Again, they've they've got a good lighting designer on this
• 25:29
  story. Because she almost looks like a
• 25:32
  dummy. Capturing the drama and there's
• 25:34
  a lot of low lighting, you know? There is, there is.
• 25:38
  And that just means all the shadows on everyone's faces are
• 25:40
  long. Oh, she just blinked.
• 25:43
  Oh, does she? Oh.
• 25:44
  That's good, actually, because you know that she is.
• 25:46
  Because it could be a dummy. Well, that blink technically
• 25:49
  took her 5 1/2 years. They should have done, yeah,
• 25:51
  should be in a very slow blink. And there's the door that was on
• 25:55
  the outside of the train tunnel. Before, I mean, it's all part of
• 25:59
  the same place. That's quite clever.
• 26:01
  Or just reusing. Something that's fact.
• 26:03
  I just love the idea that, you know, they are eating up entire
• 26:07
  worlds just to keep that wizard old frag alive.
• 26:12
  Did I say? Crag.
• 26:18
  Oh no, she plays again. And now she's.
• 26:20
  Looking around. Would you go to those levels,
• 26:24
  Joe, to stay alive? Oh no, not in this world I
• 26:29
  wouldn't. Know if I can go a little sooner
• 26:31
  actually, please, someone said to me the other day what
• 26:35
  wouldn't you choose to be young again?
• 26:37
  I went no thank you. I.
• 26:40
  Remember that plus? I remember what an impetuous,
• 26:43
  bloody youth I was as well. Oh, Cane, I'm bringing in like
• 26:47
  like a dog that's bringing in a dead bird.
• 26:51
  So I think season 16 is the gear of canine, you know?
• 26:54
  Without a doubt. It's the year where we get the
• 26:57
  joke. Don't stop at all corners.
• 27:00
  It's the. Year where he gets the scenes
• 27:01
  with Amelia Rumford. Beautiful.
• 27:04
  And it's also the year where he gets to do is really have me
• 27:06
  acting in the Armageddon. Factor he goes into exactly.
• 27:09
  The Doctor is dead, Master. Oh, I thought you meant where he
• 27:13
  goes into the the heat tunnel we all think he's going to burn to
• 27:16
  death. I love that beer, I.
• 27:18
  Know me too. You mean when he plays the and
• 27:21
  he plays the Trojan horse? Yeah.
• 27:23
  Brilliant. Wonderful.
• 27:24
  They know how to use them at this point.
• 27:26
  Well, Bob Baker. And they fly into, don't they?
• 27:28
  They don't. They they're like, we're on to a
• 27:30
  good thing with these royalties. We'll give him loads of those.
• 27:35
  So, Doctor, you have survived. That's such a Doctor Who lying.
• 27:42
  He goes, my colleagues are dead, and so he just turns his thumb
• 27:45
  down. Well, he doesn't actually say
• 27:46
  they're dead. He doesn't tell you, just points
• 27:48
  down and you've gone down to the engine room.
• 27:50
  It's actually it's quite clever. You absolutely cannot have a
• 27:53
  pirate story without the Doctor walking the bag.
• 27:56
  I mean, it's inevitable. I think it's the best
• 28:00
  cliffhanger of the three. Oh, definitely.
• 28:02
  It's one of the best cliffhangers of all time, I
• 28:04
  think. Yeah, and it's silent.
• 28:06
  There's no dialogue. Actually, that music is very
• 28:09
  Blake 7. All those horns coming in.
• 28:11
  Yeah. No, stop rolling your eyes up at
• 28:14
  Blake Seven. It was very popular, you know.
• 28:16
  Yeah, I quite like Blake 7, but come on, it's not a patch on
• 28:19
  this. Well, it doesn't have the humour
• 28:22
  and the eccentricity. It's sort of like the I find
• 28:27
  Blake. 'S get like rough score around
• 28:28
  with colos. Oh, ain't that bad.
• 28:30
  No, more like sort of the power of control, you know, that level
• 28:34
  of series. Oh.
• 28:34
  That's got brilliant humour in that.
• 28:37
  Well, it's more subtle than this.
• 28:38
  Oh yeah, anything's more subtle. Benny Hill's more subtle.
• 28:43
  Than this. Oh, I still love that sequence
• 28:45
  though. They're leading him to his
• 28:50
  death. What a great scene.
• 28:52
  The planks come out. And he literally dances on the
• 28:54
  edge, doesn't he? He's like.
• 28:56
  Captain, you don't understand. A plank.
• 29:00
  The theory is very simple. Walk along it.
• 29:02
  At the end, you fall off you. Can't be.
• 29:05
  Serious but. The drop's good too, because
• 29:09
  very often when people drop off things in Doctor Who, you can
• 29:13
  actually kind of see them arrive at the bottom or bounce up a
• 29:16
  little bit. But you don't.
• 29:17
  He drops and he's gone. And the pay off I think to this.
• 29:20
  Cliff. Oh yeah.
• 29:22
  Is gold. It is stupendous.
• 29:25
  I like the fact he went. You can't be serious.
• 29:28
  Is he he? Gives a bit of Pivoli.
• 29:31
  And it gives Chomma shots. Look, I mean, even Mary's doing
• 29:34
  a bit of business, isn't he on the end of last?
• 29:36
  Years. And here's our three villains
• 29:38
  gathered together, cackling maniacally.
• 29:41
  What better ending for a Doctor Who episode Just.
• 29:44
  You're right, that is a brilliant episode, but just
• 29:48
  because the Four was my favorite, just because it pays
• 29:51
  everything off so satisfactorily.
• 29:52
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And still manages to have a Star
• 29:56
  Trek ending with a load of techno Babble I don't
• 29:58
  understand. And two explosions.
• 30:01
  The Mary town goes. That's very clever.
• 30:02
  I'll go. I'll take your word for it.
• 30:04
  I didn't. Understand the words.
• 30:06
  Yeah, but I had it on audio, so I'll listen to it a few 1000
• 30:08
  times to work out what was going.
• 30:10
  On well, you can tell me then what he does at the end to fill
• 30:13
  up that planet. He drops all the planets into
• 30:16
  the hole, the planets all expand.
• 30:18
  Zanuck then disappears and all the planets expand, bounce off
• 30:22
  each other, and go flying across the Galaxy.
• 30:25
  Oh, he doesn't say it quite like that, though.
• 30:27
  Does. He No, I'm paraphrasing.
• 30:29
  And he also says it about five times the speed of that.
• 30:31
  Yeah. But then that's what allows them
• 30:33
  to go and chase Califax to go and pick it up.
• 30:36
  I actually think Tom Baker and David Tennant and Matt Smith to
• 30:40
  an extent, but definitely David Tennant have the same skill that
• 30:43
  they can reel off the techno Babble at such a pace that you
• 30:48
  don't even. Care whether you understand, you
• 30:51
  just go. It's it's done that with so much
• 30:52
  conviction. You're like.
• 30:53
  I believe it. Yeah.
• 30:54
  All right. I'm on board.
• 30:57
  And maybe you know. All Doctor Who scripts need an
• 30:59
  accent like that. Because John would have just
• 31:01
  rubbed the back of his neck and said, oh, should we reverse the
• 31:04
  polarity of the neutron flow? Can't we give this line to
• 31:07
  Katie? No.
• 31:11
  Well, absolutely delightful. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant,
• 31:14
  brilliant. Are you ready a conclusion of
• 31:17
  this epic story? No.
• 31:18
  Because I don't want to say goodbye to her because I'm
• 31:20
  enjoying it too much. Well, tough we've got to do.
• 31:22
  It.