Latest / GEL & Tell / Ep 18 - Are Your Relationships Helping or Hurting Your Business?

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Ep 18 - Are Your Relationships Helping or Hurting Your Business? · GEL & Tell

• Nora: Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Gel and Tell. We're back for episode 18 today. ⁓ how are you, G? G: Woo! I'm really good. We're in the semifinals, people. So today's a big day for Ingoland. so I'm good, I'm happy, I'm excited for the episode, to be honest. I think it's gonna be a good one. How are you? ⁓ Nora: Yeah. I'm really good. I'm really good. trained legs today, so I'm feeling very tore. But other than that, yeah. is shining, so it can't be can not be good, ⁓ right? I can't complain. No, no, it's so beautiful. I feel like now it's a good like mix because was too warm and now it's like calmed down a bit. So like in the morning it's just a bit cooler and you're like, ooh, you know. G: Can't complain. Exactly. You can't can't be miserable when it's so beautiful outside. And it's it's nice. Yeah, it's easier to easier to sleep, better for the dogs, much more my kind of like temperature. Still can wear shorts, but I like putting on a jumper in the evening. You know, I like cozy up. Nora: This is nice. Yeah. Yeah, same. I think it feels a bit more cosy, doesn't it? G: Yeah. When it's like so sweaty and hot that you can't even like get under your duvet at night, 'cause it's like not a vibe. Nora: Do you still have a duvet on your bed? No. Georgia. No, it's like thirty something degrees. Do you No. ⁓ G: Bo I'm British, of course I have a D of A. Doesn't mean that I sleep under it every night, but th I I slept under I do Nora: So do you like sleep on the duvet with that like over it? With a blanket. G: With a blanket. Yeah. If it's Yeah, if it's too hot, we'll sleep on top of the Duvet with a blanket. And then normally I'll go under the Duvet anyway, 'cause it'll get cold in the night. But you know, like in European countries you have just like a sheet. I don't know if Nora: Yeah. But not just in European countries. I think it's a weather thing. When the weather gets warm, you replace the duvet with a sheet. G: Did people do that in England? But you're from Cyprus, so maybe you brought that with you. I would love to know if other people that are British do actually change and not have a duvet at all. Yeah. Nora: Well I do it 'cause like and I still no, but like So you have a doo way year round even though you don't need like so you have like that like padded G: Well no, you have a summer duvet and a winter duvet, obviously. You change the is it called the toggage or something? The quilt? It's different. You have a heavier one that's warmer in the winter and then a lighter one for the summer. That's like really normal, I think. I'm pretty sure that's what we do in England. But I would be very interested if you're listening and you are British or not, and you could tell us, because this is just what I do. Nora: Was? Hmm. Really? let's get into the episode. Today we're having ⁓ a bit more of conversation around a topic that I think can be very relatable to a lot of people wanting to start their own business, possibly have their own business already, or have side hassle. alongside their, you know, nine to five, and how ⁓ you know, they get impacted by their circle around around them, I think. You know, that can include like your partner, that include friends, that can include family. basically discussing a bit around like are your relationships around you like hurting or helping you actually actually succeed in business? So what do you think, Do you think that who you surround yourself with does have an impact in how successful you are in business? G: I think your circle impacts so many things in your life, not even just business. I think how successful you are point blank. So I think there's like a quote and it's something like you are you become like a product of the five people that you spend the most time around. I think that's true because if you spend time around with like, you know, people that are not looking after themselves, they are not ambitious, they don't show up and do things, they're just lazy stoners who just don't do shit, then you are gonna become like those people. Whereas if you surround yourself with business owners, like minded people, people that like training or going to the gym or eating nice food and being healthy or like, you know, getting fresh air, going on a hike, like whatever the things are that you deem to be like positive things or more wholesome things, if you surround yourself with people like that, you will become and do more of those things. So yes, I think if your circle support your goals in the sense of like they don't have the similar interests and stuff, it's much less likely that you're going to achieve them or be able to do as much because you just kind of get sunk into the people that you surround yourself with, I think. And from experience, I can see myself in different chapters in different places of life doing different things. What about you? What do you think? Nora: Yeah, no, I agree. I think as you go through life, I think you change as a person and you grow as a person. in your twenties is where you like actually develop as an adult and you like, you know, figure out like your values as a person, what you wanna become later down the line, you know. That's where a lot of people start businesses as well. they might have had like a career path in mind and then like have gone to like do their own thing. it's like not outgrowing people, but just changing paths. And like that is not necessarily a bad thing. I think yourself with people that not only get it, but inspire you to be more and do more is so important because then you've got inspiration around you to want to like. Be better, you know. Yeah. G: A million percent. I think that's a brilliant point as well. Cause if you have people around you that you can ask questions to, bounce ideas off, like, you aspire to be like, then how can you possibly grow more yourself because you're almost like capping ⁓ your ⁓ and that's why people often say in like business and networking, like you want to be in rooms of people that are ten steps ahead of you in business, or like you want have a mentor that's already done it before and walk the path so you can learn from their experience or th the mistakes they've made. Nora: Yeah. Yeah. G: that if you don't put yourself in a room with those people, how can you ever expect to be like those people if that's what you want to be? Nora: Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. There's that saying of like if you're the best one in the room, you're in the wrong room, something like that. I love that. Yeah. It's such a a good quote. and not to say, and like we've had discussions about this before, it's not that you don't love the people that you know that have been part of your journey across the years, it's just that sometimes you outgrow things, 'cause you grow as a person. G: Yes, love that. Nora: And it's not necessarily that your path is better than theirs, it's just it's different. And that's okay. But you need to align and be around people that are on similar paths to you to be able to develop further and do So yeah, I do think it's it's very impactful. you can keep people around that might not necessarily relate or understand. As long as they're supportive, the thing that the the issue becomes when they don't support it, right? And they don't respect what you're doing. G: Yeah. Yeah. So I would agree with that bit. I don't think agree necessarily with that they have to be walking the same path. I think you could be around people that are on completely different trajectories and completely different paths, but could be like ambitious and, you know, have different goals. I don't think that your environment has to be like, you know, everyone has to be like a fitness fanatic, business owner, like you like the p like we're very our goals are s different, obviously from like a fitness standpoint, but we're very like sort of we have like our thing when it comes to fitness and that's we let bond over it but it's like quite nice that we have like the different things. So technically those paths would be different, like the kind of attitudes and behaviors have similarities. You have a point that you're working towards like you have to stay consistent with the training plan and like there's factors that are different factors, but like bond us, even though our paths are different. Like yours is bodybuilding, mine's more functional, but it that we still have similarities there. ⁓ Nora: Yeah. Yeah. G: Similarly with like work and business, like someone might have a full-time job and be like pushing the career ladder and wanting to like get promoted in their corporate job, but still be a fantastic friend and someone in your network that inspires you, that supports you, that gives you really good advice around business, or like, you know, is not like a negative kind of, you know, person in the circle to put it in I can't think of another way to put it, but their path is different. So I don't think the path has to be the same. I just think the values and the behaviors and the attitude has to be similar in the sense of like if they're not they don't have a growth mindset and you do, really fucking hard to wanna, you know Nora: even have a conversation. Like it's just it's just it's as simple as that. Like I think you get into and I completely agree with you. What I meant by path is like you both have the aspect of like wanting to get better. Like if there's not the aspect, the the relationship, no matter if it's your partner, your friend, your family, you just won't have as much to like connect over, but also like G: Yeah. Yeah, okay. Nora: agree on. know, and it won't just be like a good environment for you to to just grow. It it just ⁓ you won't have that space to like, yeah, just become better because you won't feel as inspired. You won't feel as, driven to go after it. yeah, I I I do agree that the paths in like actual like when you look at it from a technical standpoint, yes, they don't have to be the same, but in values and like the psychology behind it, the mindset behind it needs to be very similar in terms of like you need to have people around you that push you to become better, no matter if that thing that you want to be get better at is the same with them or not. G: Mm. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. do you think the signs are if someone is not that? What things have maybe you observed in yourself or things that you've heard from like, I don't know, clients or other friends that are like kind of like flags that maybe the people around you aren't showing up in the way that they could be supportive, or it could actually ⁓ negatively like your business or your mindset. Nora: That's a great question. I think I think the more you strive to be better, the less tolerant you are when people make excuses about things. Cause you are so much in the mode of like being driven, want to do more. And when you surround yourself with people that are full of excuses, negative mindset, really wanting to grow, almost like accepting life for what it is, and just being like, ⁓ just stuff happens to me. I'm like, no, no, it doesn't. ⁓ G: Okay. Yeah. Nora: You work for the things you were like. And that I think when you are in that mindset of like wanting to grow, you don't accept that as what it is. You just, and when you hear it from people, you're less tolerant to that. And it's not to be insensitive, because everyone goes through things. Life just happens. But like wanting to better yourself, like you that from people and you're like, hmm, I don't know if I want to be surrounded by that. Yeah, that environment necessarily. G: Yeah, my mum always says people are either radiators or drains. Drains suck the life out of you and take all the energy out of a room. And radiators bring energy, bring life, bring, you know, positive radiance to a space and actually like uplift you. And you want to be a radiator. Who wants to be a fucking drain? No one. And you don't want to surround yourself with drains because then they just take everything from you but don't give anything back. Nora: Mm-hmm. Exactly. G: And I think that like there's definite people that are martyrs that will always make excluses. they're not going to achieve the things that they could if they just did a bit of work on themselves and, you know, flexed their mindset. And I agree with you, life happens and horrible stuff happens. And like, you know, you use that as an excuse or you can use it as motivation and fuel for making things better for you and making a difference. It doesn't mean it's easy. Nora: No, it's not easy. And if you need the time to absorb what happened and like whatever that might be and take a minute, that's fine. But don't give up. Like that's the thing. It's like when yeah, when people are almost in a a bit of an acceptance mode and just don't want to improve, like that's where you like start hearing the excuses and you're like, Well, this isn't very conducive to what I want to do in life. And I don't it's not necessarily needing to cut people off. You don't have to cut people off. Obviously, you know, you might love someone, but you you might absolutely adore someone but not align with them, and that's okay. Reducing the st time that you spend around them, you know, and increasing the time that you spend around more ambitious people that do align with your values and who you want to be and what you want to achieve ⁓ what I think is, you know. G: You can Hm. Nora: what's best to do in these cases, and that's what I've been applying personally as well in my life. yeah, I think that would be one of the traits is like less tolerant to excuses. what would you say is yours? G: So I'd say like a flag would be like if you feel like maybe the people around you aren't like building you up or like helping you get to your goals, might be ⁓ you leave whatever plan or activity or occasion feeling more drained ⁓ when you arrived, but not in like a, ⁓ I had such a good time, I'm tired, in a, ⁓ my God, like I actually maybe didn't enjoy that as much, or I'm quite glad to have left. Like the conversations weren't like actually interesting or stimulating me, or like you know, I just didn't feel particularly like good after it. And that's happened to me a few times recently, to be honest, where I've gone to something that I thought I would enjoy more than I sh did, with people that maybe I just don't have as much in common with anymore. And it's not because I don't love them and care about them I do. It's just that like interests were different and like the conversation was very much like, you know, one flag maybe like as an addition, not just how you feel, but what the behaviors and traits that you see is. Nora: Yeah. G: People just discussing and talking about other people. And I'm like, I don't fucking care about such and such as cat and all this, you know, whatever. Like basically just like bitching and gossiping. And it's like, if all we can talk about is like shit talking other people and like what's going on in their lives, what does that say about us as individuals? Do we not? Nora: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Happy people don't talk about others. Like that it it's just is what it is. You know, it's one thing having a fight with someone, you know, and talking it through with your partner so that, you know, they put it into perspective. And it's another thing going behind your friend's back talking about them. you know, like commenting their body or their like ⁓ outfit. G: Yeah. Or their face. Or their face. Nora: Or their face. Like it's just a bit ridiculous. Like do you not have anything better to do in your free time? Like are you that free, you know, and bored? G: Yeah, right. probably like insecure and miserable in your own activity or life or relationship that the only thing that you find interesting enough or are able to talk about is what's going on in other people's worlds. Because if you were working towards a goal, if you were building something, if you had like a passion project on the go or a side hustle, you'd have a lot more conversation to talk about when you want to share what you're up to. But then when the people that you're around don't take any interest in that and all they want to talk about is who's getting fucking divorced. Nora: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. G: It's like, ⁓ my God, like have I I like now like forty in in like East Enders? Nora: Yeah, yeah. It is. G: And maybe that sounds really mean. And like if you're listening and you're triggered, like kind of sorry, but also not sorry, cause I'm over it. over it. Nora: There's this there's this saying is like you see a quote that I post and you think it's about you, ⁓ and it's like and it's like if the shoe fits, where it's in that I love something like that. Like But know what? It is so true though, like you know, there's just so many like cool things to talk about and like yeah, I just G: Probably is. Nora: I don't see why you would spend time talking about someone else's life when it doesn't have anything to do with you and what you're doing in in your life G: Yeah, unless it's either positive, like, ⁓ my God, have you seen like how amazing, like so cool that Nora's gonna be stepping on stage and doing dah dah you know, like those ones, like yeah, let's empower other people and like celebrate what cool shit other people are doing. Like, no issue with that. It's just when it's like from like a negative place of like, I know, let's just sit here and tear another woman down, like just for fun. Nora: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hundred percent. Yeah. Cause also you do not know what people go through. Like you might be judging something that you have zero context in, you know? I think that's definitely a like red flag for sure. And it does translate when you have that negative energy around you, how you show up to work, how you show up for your business. G: Yeah. Yeah. Nora: Does get impacted? G: million. Yeah, it does. You see it like you know, like say like you've had something go on at the weekend, we've had like a disagreement with your family or your partner or a friend or, you know, whatever it is, like how you feel the next day, ⁓ like it sits with you, doesn't it? I mean, maybe some people can just like brush stuff off, but we can't. We're very like emotional humans that like hold things, which I think part of like Nora: Yeah. No. ⁓ G: what makes us us and like what means that we show up for people and we truly care so deeply about all of our clients and like our work and like we really bring everything to the table. But then when something negative happens or there's like even like if we've had a disagreement or something, which obviously happens, we spend so much time together, it's natural, it like emotionally impacts the business because we we are our business and it's really freaking hard. what we don't do is let that negativity fester. We normally Nora: Yeah. Yeah. G: try and like work through it, but it doesn't mean that the relationships outside of just me and you, like our partners, our families, our friends or whatever, wouldn't also emotionally impact our business at times. Nora: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. another red flag is like when people make sarcastic compliments. ⁓ G: ⁓ like backhanded compliments. Nora: Yeah, yeah. I'm like, just don't say anything, honey. Like, why would you even bother saying anything if what you're gonna say is just not really a compliment in the first place? Like ⁓ well like your little business seems to be doing well. G: Well give us an example, Nora. ⁓ my god, I had that one, d d didn't I tell you when I was at that party? And she said, How's your little business doing? My little business is doing Nora: ⁓ yeah. Yeah. Yeah, or like, I see you everywhere. You post so much. Good. It's okay. ⁓ G: That's the fucking point. Like ⁓ yeah, I'm posting every day so you don't see it. Nora: So our marketing works, you mean? Thank you. G: And also thanks for ignoring every fucking post as well because you've not liked any of them. when people say that and they don't realise that what that shows is that they haven't engaged with anything. And then they and then I but I'll call it out. I'll literally be like, ⁓ you know, it doesn't take much to double tap. It's like I'm not saying you have to buy from us, but if you're seeing my content and you're a friend of mine and you're not engaging with it, like check yourself because you're not my friend if you are actively not engaging with it. I'm sorry. Nora: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. G: Like, yeah, it might not be important to you, but this is my like life and my business. So just press the screen twice. Nora: Yeah. I do feel though, and I don't know if you agree, a lot of it is projection. A lot of people limp themselves in what they think they can do in their life. So because others are going for it. So like starting your own business is quite a scary thing. You know, we were scared starting our own business. It's not easy. Like there's a lot of like, you know, mindset work to do, I think, within yourself to go for it, like, you know, back and just say, no matter what, I'll make it happen. Obviously we've had each other, so. G: Hmm. Yeah. Nora: I do think that's helped massively. it's still very scary. and both of us have had up and downs during the process. and when we we did have a full-time job, we were always like, ⁓ like, would be cool to have our own business. Like, but we would never bring someone else down who's doing it. But I do think we've have had people that have ha given those backhanded compliments because I do thing that at some point they wish they had gone for it as well. and they don't necessarily yeah. G: Hmm. But the irony is they still could. it's never too late. We've helped people in their 50s and their 60s launch and start businesses. You know, people changing careers and like going for it at like an older age when they've c been in the army for 30 years. Like, you know, there's people that have done all sorts of stuff and made a career change and then launched a business. So I don't think it's ever too late, but that's a mindset barrier that you've told yourself at some point, it's too late, I can't do this. ⁓ I've got kids now, so I couldn't possibly. Or Nora: Mm-hmm. G: ⁓ well, I can't start now because I want to do X, or like, ⁓ it's too late. I don't have this. Like, I've never done social media, so I can't. Well, we literally started page from zero in and we've just hit four and a half thousand followers in less than ⁓ ⁓ like, not even nine months or something. which pretty mad because we were stuck under a thousand for about six months. So in the last like, and that's not a flex, that's just a fact of like we've shown up every day and we're sticking with it. Nora: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. G: And we had zero. We didn't have any clients, you know. So I think it's just like you can start whenever, but it's what you tell yourself. And then if you're around negative people that are agreeing with that mindset and saying, ⁓ yeah, well, you are a bit old, Yeah, you probably shouldn't do it now. Or yeah, you should till after you've had kids, or like probably not whilst you've got a family, or like ⁓ you're yeah. Nora: Or you're too young, you don't have the experience yet. G: ⁓ but you've got really good job. Why would you want to leave that? You know, or you don't need to work. Your husband's got loads of money. Or whatever the fucking thing is, if people around you are giving you that narrative and you're telling it to yourself, you will never build anything because you've literally put your own barriers in place. And there are no real life barriers that are stopping anyone, anyone from growing an online business now, because social media is free and all you need to do is be consistent, have a strategy and stick with it. Literally, that's the same as consistent. Ha be consistent, have a strategy and have a strong mindset. If you've got those three things, you can build an online business and make money. Nora: Yeah. Hundred percent. Hundred percent. I do think a lot of people put their own limitations in place and they project on others who are not. And I think, you know, it is a sad reality and you know, there's no one that can change that for them but themselves. But that doesn't mean that you have to be around that. G: Chop chop chop. Bye, Felicia. Have you ever cut someone off completely? Like actively said I don't want to be your friend anymore. Nora: I think so, yeah. In the past, yeah, I have. If there are behaviors and traits that I don't like, I don't want to be around them. You know? Like I I you know, like I think you've said it before. we both quite emotional humans. Like, you know, if if someone if someone makes me feel like I'm too much, you know, like, ⁓ I'm sorry, I'm in touch with my own emotions and like, you know, I can actually like communicate and you know G: Have you? Nice. Nora: how I feel. you're out. I'm sorry. Like if that's too much for you, not for me, you know, like, or makes feel like my ambitions are too high. Again, like not not here for it. It's just no. No. ⁓ I'm not gonna change myself for other people. Like all about self improvement, but I'm not changing myself to make others feel better. G: Yeah, I shouldn't shrink so that you feel comfortable. Mm. Nora: about themselves in any way, G: Yeah. Because people can work harder on themselves. That's the truth, isn't it? It's it's not about being arrogant or like being like I'm better than you. That's not the case at all. It's a case of you work incredibly hard to look the way that you look because you're training for your show. And if that makes someone else feel insecure about their body, then that says more about them than it says about you, ⁓ an example. and the truth of the matter is if someone wanted to get in incredible shape, there is no Nora: Yeah, exha a hundred percent. No. G: Reason why they couldn't. Nora: Zero Zero excuses. Like zero excuses. I think when you go through prep, and that's one thing that I've reflected on going through prep. There is that level like discipline and mindset that you like almost like auto-put yourself on. It's like there's nothing that you can't do. Like literally, I've I've not given myself the choice to not show up, when I didn't feel like it. And like once you get to that stage, you do realize that, you know, how many excuses are out there that you've pro like I I've probably made myself in the past. But then once you have that and you've put yourself through that, there's nothing that you can't do. Because you actively I think my favorite thing about going through prep is a person that I've become through it because I realize I've actively chosen to get myself to do this thing is very hard. Right. and person that I've become to do it, I'm very proud of. Like it's a it's very disciplined. you know, there's judgment that came with it as well that I've had to deal with. that has made me And I'm G: Mm. Nora: I'm proud of that. Don't know if I like the stage, but the that process I've loved. G: Good. And that's amazing. And I think that's what it's all about at the end of the day, isn't it? It's like no point doing anything that you don't enjoy. And I'm like a huge advocate for that. And if you're loving the process and all of the things that come with it, then who's anyone to say that it's not a great thing to do? You know, it's ultimately your decision, your body, your routine. Literally. So if it makes you happy, then amazing. And I think having Geo in the same boat as well, obviously is super supportive of your goals with it because he's Nora: Yeah. Yeah. Your life. Yeah. G: been through it and is also going through it the same time, must be really hard if your partner doesn't understand the sport to do it. Nora: hundred percent because it is an extreme sport. it is an extreme sport. And I do think, you know, like not it I I wouldn't say like my necessarily had to be into bodybuilding. It does help that he's gone through it. But like I would say that I would struggle if I was thinking about this the other day is like with business as well. Is like when you have a partner that is not G: Mm. Nora: Doesn't is it doesn't match that ambition, not necessarily in the same thing, but doesn't have that drive. It can be very hard to s continue being aligned with your partner in terms of what you want from life. you know, like Geo has been super supportive of us starting the business. Like I do think like having a supportive partner through well, going from being employed and having a stable income to figuring things out and starting your own business ⁓ providing for yourself that way. Imagine having someone that kept putting you down and being like, ⁓ you won't make this. it's like a silly little like idea. It's fine, you'll get over it. Like go and get a job or like imagine having that. Like I think that would have impacted how we, you know. G: Okay. I don't think we would have started the business if we were surrounded by that kind of energy. We'd have either not started the business or we'd have left our relationships. Because frankly, like you can't have someone in your ear saying stuff like that when you're already in the pits of it. Like, there's no one who can sit here and who has a successful business that could be like, Yeah, my mindset's always been a hundred percent. Like, yeah, I've always believed it's gonna work a hundred percent. Nora: Yeah. Yeah. Hundred percent. Yeah. G: Like because it just isn't like that. There are days where it's really hard. And there's days when you get a message from a client that makes you feel sick to your stomach. There's a day when you think you smashed a sales call and they don't sign up and then they ghost you. There's a day where you post something on the internet that r makes you feel physically sick. Like, you know, there's there's days like that all the fucking time. And like people can be like, ⁓ but you guys don't like you enjoy it so much. We love it. I love this business. Like my like it's my baby and I couldn't love it more. And I'm so proud of us for it. And I'm like grateful every day. But it doesn't mean there aren't days where it like hurts my inners. And if I had someone at home that was like s saying like, ⁓ yeah, well you can't do it or it's never gonna work or anything like that, then that would probably manifest and then turn into, I don't know, quitting. ⁓ yeah, I completely agree. If you don't have someone, your in your corner the business and believing in what you can do in the business itself. Nora: Yeah. could I do it without. A supportive partner? Yes. But does it help? Yes, it does. 'Cause I know it's G: It just makes it more, I don't know, just more meaningful, doesn't it? But I think that's the same for like family as well. So it's yes, the person that you live with, your partner. and obviously like there's loads of single business owners as well. Not everyone has a partner. So it doesn't mean you can't do it without your partner. but family, not being of the business. We've seen this a few times as well, where people's, you know, parents or I don't know, like the family around them don't get it. Nora: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. G: It could be it could be the partner, it could be the kids even having like issues with you showing up on social media, it could be your parents not understanding why you'd want to build a certain business. Like ⁓ are examples where family can really also get in the way of business development and confidence, I think. So it's not the sort of, you the intricate bits of running the business, the operational stuff, building the back end, you know, finances, any of that, or even the delivery, but the confidence that it takes to show up and to grow it and the belief that takes you have to have the belief to have the confidence to then do the showing up bit. And when your family don't support you being on social media or what you're trying to build or agree with it or whatever or even understand it, that is always quite problematic. And it's really hard to coach someone around as well, I find. Nora: Yeah. Hundred percent, yeah. G: I think it's often coming a place of like care. ⁓ but I have seen examples of this from the other side. So being in like a family environment, ⁓ where and not not direct to my family, but like broader circles, where I've observed people's judgment coming from a place of like fear of lack of responsibility from the person setting up the business. So for instance, they don't have the financial means to do it because they've not saved appropriately. Nora: Yeah. Mm. Mm-hmm. G: They've like quit job prematurely without setting anything up. And they're essentially the ruse of I'm building a business to be unemployed and to of keep procrastinating. So ⁓ I families can be more judgmental, and I've seen it when they believe and whether it's true or not that the individual is being irresponsible with it. So they aren't actually ready to be setting up a business because they've not done the groundwork. And like when we reflect on our journey. We worked full time and saved money and s up and had a business plan to launch when we were in a financial position to do so with a bit of reduced risk. Because if we'd have launched and gone for it as soon as we wanted to, we might have been in a more financially precarious situation that would have led to more judgment from our family. Nora: Yeah, I do think like naturally with the people that we are, we wouldn't have done it if we weren't we're both quite we like to calculate our risks, let's say. Right? And and that's not a bad thing. Like we're responsible, I would say, in that sense. we know what we were getting into and we set ourselves in a position where we can do it. anything that we say on this podcast is very much provided that you are in a position to start your own business, right? Like G: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we did it. Nora: I completely agree with what you just said. There's it it's a completely different thing if people are just saying not negative things, but like things to be mindful of if you're not actually in a position to to go for it. Like that is just them caring and that is just, you know, I would say common sense. so yeah, a hundred percent I agree with that. Even the negative things, I think sometimes in general, negative comments can come from like a good place. G: Hmm. A hundred Yeah. Nora: It just sometimes are a bit unnecessary. G: Yeah, it's hard, isn't it? Because when you do love and care about someone, you wanna be honest with them. And if your opinion and view is that they are making a poor decision or that their business isn't a shit idea or whatever it is, and no one else has told them, but it's actually you feel that to be true, then you shouldn't hold back just for people pleasing. Like if you were like, well not you, I don't know, if I had a friend that was like, ⁓ I'm gonna set up like a and I'm just gonna make, I don't know, something really shit, like These bracelets and the bracelets were really ugly and they had no like unique selling point and I'm quitting my job and I'm gonna do it. I be a good friend to just be like, ⁓ that's amazing, they're gorgeous, I'll buy some. Would I be a better friend to be like, I think it's really great that you want to do something for yourself? maybe could brainstorm some ideas on the kind of products that we could make so that you've got something really differentiating. Cause I think as nice as they are, they could be better. Nora: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. G: So what I've not done is been like, you shouldn't build a business, it's shit, la la la la la, even though the bracelets might be shit. But like, let me help you or let's discuss like how we can make this better. So you can do what you want, but without making a bad decision. Cause what we don't want is for people to just be like agreeing with us or telling us we're doing great and all this shit when it's not true. Like if we started showing up really weirdly on social media as an example. Nora: Yeah. Hm, yeah. G: I would want to know about it from some of my friends and family. Like if we started doing something and our friends and family were like, ⁓ my God, that's really awful. You shouldn't do that. I wouldn't want them to just be double tapping and liking it and telling us we're doing great. I'd want them to be like, can we just talk about that like weird thing you did the other day? Like, love you, ⁓ you did what you're doing is great. But that was too far. It was offensive. It was stupid. It didn't make any sense. Like ⁓ would rather be told and get a little bit embarrassed in the moment. ⁓ Nora: Yeah. G: and then move forward with that honest feedback than just to be like, I don't know, pandered to. So it doesn't mean that, you know, feedback can be difficult to take, but I would rather get it from my close people because they respect me and they're honest rather than like just saying we're great when we're not. Nora: ⁓ a hundred percent. for sure. I think there's a difference between like a negative comment and a constructive feedback from someone. ⁓ I do think the person like make the difference in that though. I do think who you take feedback from does depend on who it's is giving the feedback. Like G: Hmm. Nora: How responsive you are to that, if you get what I mean? Like if it's someone that you don't aspire to be, it's what you told me, you me earlier, I think. It's like if you've got like, you know, if you need to go and fix your teeth, you won't go to someone that has bad teeth. Like, right? So, like, why would you take advice from someone that's not where you want to be or you disagree with? G: Yeah. Nora: what they're doing or ⁓ that your ambitions just are not similar in any way, you know? G: Yeah. Yeah, I did say that to you earlier. I had a few examples, didn't I? ⁓ Nora: Yeah, you had a few examples. Yeah. I don't know I don't remember the conversation, but it just it's G: I do, but we couldn't share it on a it was someone selling something that they can't do themselves. we see this quite a lot on the internet and it's where it goes wrong. And maybe that arguably is us talking about someone else, but it was from a business context. and we were reflecting on it it was gonna be a content idea for us. So it's kind of like, yeah, you could say we were being bitchy, and I probably was not gonna lie, because I came up with some funny ones. But ⁓ the point is You shouldn't sell something that you can't deliver. And equally someone's not going to buy from you if you can't exhibit the result or the thing. So like you don't go to a hairdresser that has shit hair. You don't go to a dentist that has bad teeth. You don't go to a body transformation coach that's overweight. Like, sorry, not sorry. I'm not saying you can't be a fat personal trainer, you kind can. but body transformation coaching. Nora: Yeah. You can't claim to get people in shape if you've never been in shape yourself. Yeah. G: F y'all no. Exactly. ⁓ and we will stand on that hill because there are people that say that that's not true, but it's just I just don't sorry, like. Nora: Yeah. No, it's like so unethical. Imagine putting your clients through different protocols that you've never been able to stick to. Like why would you expect someone to listen to you and do the things you ask them when you've never gone through them to know what it feels like mindset wise or like even physically to do them? G: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, truth. Yeah. And that's why we and that's why we always say for our business side of stuff, we practice what we preach. So we test all of our strategies on ourselves and we do everything, that we give to our clients, we do ourselves. And if something isn't working for us, we'll tweak it and try and get it to work. And if it doesn't, we wouldn't give it to a client. not because every business is the same, but because service businesses have similar models. ⁓ and that's why we specialize in the service based. Nora: We primo. G: business sector rather than like product businesses. but yeah, love it. Nora: Yeah. Cool. wanna ask you, so if someone felt quite unsupported right now but wanted to do their own thing, what would be your advice to them? G: So the first thing that I would do is if you were feeling like the people around you weren't being super supportive, would be find some new environments that would make you feel to meet some new people. So that could look like a new community. It could look like a new gym. It could look like some networking events for if you're a business owner. There's like female entrepreneur events as an example, or like groups for mums, ⁓ or Finding new spaces to put yourself in. So what we could do is we could try and fix the spaces we're in. But my attitude is move forward and find somewhere new to be able to flourish and find new people that might be more supportive and that might be more aligned to you. So I would look for new spaces and push yourself to try something new every week for the next six weeks. So you put yourself in six different communities, networks, spaces around other people, or maybe there's someone in your network that you really align with that you want to spend more time with. That you could make a plan with them as one of the six. Put yourself in six different environments across six weeks and think about what, you know, what did you enjoy, what did you not enjoy, and where do you want to spend more time, and then devote more energy and attention to becoming more integrated in that community or network. because you can meet and make new friends and surround yourself with more like-minded people, but you will not do that if you don't put yourself in those environments and places. So that would be ⁓ I would suggest. Nora: Yeah, I love that. G: What would your advice be? Nora: hmm. I would say like focus on doing some self-development, whether that's going to the gym. I think, you know, like that the traits that you build, working on yourself in any capacity, help you ⁓ becoming more confident as a person to require others validation to go for what you want. or, you starting to go on a run club with people ⁓ or I don't know, like joining a networking group in a business setting, you know, if you live in a city or whatever that might be, to surround yourself with people that are working towards themselves in any capacity to then give you that confidence to to meet new people that are more aligned to you. The other thing I would say, communicate with the people around you. One thing that we didn't touch on was it's amazing having ambitions and having goals. What you shouldn't do is being considerate of other people around you. Because sometimes and I don't know about Yuji, but like sometimes I have been in a position where I've been so driven I have sacrificed being present for my family and being present for, you know, friends. And because I was working long hours or like working like long days and like necessarily ⁓ as present as I want it to be. ⁓ like sometimes you need to just catch yourself and be like, ambition is great, but also these people around you really care about you. And unless you explain to them the why, they can't expect them to understand. Like it really is that simple. Just because they don't do it doesn't mean they don't care about it and they won't sit down and listen. and support you through it. G: Yeah, I agree. And equally you've got to be there for them. So you can't expect people to care about your goals if you don't ask them anything about themselves, spend time with them, make plans. Like it's a two way street of relationship, whether that's a romantic one, a friendship, a family relationship, if you do not put time in with other people, irregardless of your paths and goals and ambitions or whatever, you got put you got put in what you get out, right? So same in goals, same in relationships. and I ⁓ I definitely do that. I'm terrible at making plans. I really am. My friends know it and I'm trying to be better and tried to be more intentional with like messaging people, but it's not my strong suit. And it's probably one of the reasons why like have some fantastic friendships, but over the years, like I'll have a friend for a few years and then they won't be my friend anymore. They're not not my friend, but like I just go through different phases with people. But it's not because I don't love them. It's just because I get hyper focused on things. So like I I do that and I I hold my hands up to it. And it's not, yeah, it's not personal, but it it it just shows that you have to put the effort into your relationships to maintain them. so I agree with that wholeheartedly. Nora: Yeah. G: so business takeaway of the week, do you have one? Nora: Shall we Do you have one? G: Mine would be if you wouldn't do it yourself, don't ask someone else to do it. Nora: Okay. G: So kind of linking to what we said earlier. Nora: Yeah. mine is if you wanna build something, uncertainty is but don't operate from fear because it will never be intentional and it will never go the way you want it to. So like back yourself. And even if there's a bit of like there's that element of like fake it till you make it, that's fine. But just never, ever, ever operate under fear. What I mean by that is like if you we've seen this the time, is like business owners when they need the money, they take less intentional actions to make the money. Because they are always acting out of desperation and fear of like, ⁓ like and then it causes them to take the wrong actions. Whereas like if they switch the mindset and it's like, I'm gonna make this happen and I'm backing myself and I'm gonna do intentional actions to get more clients in and make more money to provide for my family, that tends to be the mindset that takes them to be more present on socials and like be more authentic, that gets more conversation, starts that signs more clients up. So yeah. Don't operate out of fear and desperation. Operate with intention. G: Nice. Love it. that was a fantastic episode. thank so much for listening. As always, we appreciate you. Don't forget to drop us a follow, subscribe, give us a five star review because we know it was just fantastic. and we'll see you next week from Rhodes, Greece. Nora: Yeah. Yeah, we'll be on a trip next week, which I'm buzzing about. But yeah, see you on the next one, guys.