Latest / Privycast / Ep. 25 Just Don't Pee in the Pool

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Ep. 25 Just Don't Pee in the Pool · Privycast

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Is chlorine really that much of a weakling that he can't handle my like armpit stank?
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Like really?
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Can we?
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Come on chlorine.
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What are you saying?
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I stink?
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But if the chlorine's levels are affected that much, maybe it really isn't that safe to go swimming in a public swimming pool.
0:56
Welcome back to privy.
0:58
Privy is a podcast about toilets recorded right here from my toilet.
1:04
I am Hunter Hoover, your toilet enthusiast and host from the hot seat.
1:10
Man, it's been a busy day.
1:12
So a little peek behind the privy cast curtain.
1:18
Last episode, you guys heard about piss wars and
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I actually recorded that episode the same day I recorded this episode.
1:28
But in between that episode and this episode, I moved a bunch of my junk to our new house that we're going to be moving to here pretty soon.
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And then my parents and I spent the majority of the day cleaning the new house.
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this is a, ah I'm going to try to bring as much energy to this as I can, but
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Yeah, it's been a long one.
1:57
Also, allergy season is in full swing.
2:00
If you can't hear it in my voice or in my nostrils, allergy season is here.
2:04
It is arrived.
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If I sound a little more nasally than usual, that's probably what's going on.
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But yeah, you know, if something crazy happens between now and when this episode comes out, this is not gonna date well, so there's that.
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But it's summer.
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Happy June, everybody.
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June.
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Even though summer doesn't officially start until like half over halfway through June June is the beginning of summer like effectively speaking June is summer so happy summer
2:31
everybody welcome to privy summer we're going to try to bring you some summer related topics and this week is Going to be our first It's hot things are getting hot things are
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getting sweaty.
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You're afraid to drink any milk Before 7 p.m.
2:51
for fear of having some tum tum problems and some dooky problems later with the heat.
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By merely existing, you sweat.
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I'm not built, me, Hunter, your host, is not built for temperatures over and exceeding 75 to 80 degrees.
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Like, once we break that threshold, my back is just wet all day.
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That's all there is to it.
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But,
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For as long as humans have been getting hot, which I think has been a pretty long time, they have looked for ways to cool themselves off.
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And this week on Privycast, we're going to the pool.
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Not really.
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As I already said, we're in my home restroom.
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I guess I'm getting a new recording studio here pretty quick with the new house.
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That's fun, that's exciting.
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Stay tuned for Privycast Recording Studio 2.0.
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But we're talking about pool toilets and pool privy etiquette.
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It's more complicated than it would seem.
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And there's a lot more uh chemicals than maybe we, I mean, we think we know some, but yeah.
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Bathroom etiquette and pool etiquette in the area of like privies and pools is essentially divided up into two distinct
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areas.
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There is the locker or changing room etiquette and privy situation.
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And there is the poolside manner, the etiquette that pertains to you on the deck of the pool.
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So, welcome to the pool.
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Some kid just ran by, he's got his floatie on, he just slipped and ate fat dirt.
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ah You know, he's like crying, but the lifeguard still feels the need to like, the whistle.
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and like yell at the kid, no runnin', even though he just like scraped his knee big time.
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You got the kid that's like huddled on the end of the diving board and he's like shakin' for his life and then his big brother just swoop, just pushes him and he's like, falls
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into the pool.
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Welcome to the pool.
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You've arrived.
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And if you're like me, you now have been met with a new level one.
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grade of anxiety just by merely being in the presence of a swimming pool.
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And as far as etiquette and privy etiquette go when it comes to swimming pools, there's just gonna be like one thing that's really gonna boil it all down and make it really
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simple.
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And that's this.
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Just go to the bathroom before you go to the pool area.
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Like that's gonna save you from 90 % of the problems that you have.
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If you're concerned about locker rooms,
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and changing room bathrooms?
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Go to the bathroom before you arrive at the pool.
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Just, yeah, void your system.
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So that, end of the episode.
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No, I'm just kidding.
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The other thing is, is that it is expected that you shower before you get into the pool.
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Now, I'm gonna admit to you a poolside sin here on the podcast to you.
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And that is, I really, mostly always just skipped the pre-pool shower.
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growing up, my thinking is why do I need to shower when I'm getting ready to put my entire human frame into a large body of chemical water that should be able to clean or disinfect
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me in some way.
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And so I never showered before I got in the pool.
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And some of you are gonna hear that and you're gonna go,
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Who is this deviant ne'er-do-well?
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And I'm sorry, but it it's honesty time.
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I never did it but in in looking these things up and seeking these things out I have found that showering before and after your time in the big pool are important
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And this is a reality I mostly skipped.
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Like I could not have cared less before or after.
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I never showered after the pool.
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I literally just got clean.
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Why do I need to get post clean?
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And in finding answers to why a person would need to shower before they got into a pool full of disinfectant, the answer is essentially not to clean you, it's to preserve the
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disinfectant.
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Showering before you swim
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helps wash extra sweat, oil, lotions, and other uh hygiene products, materials that are on a person's body, detergents in swimsuits, helps rinse those off, wash those off, get them
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nasty little things out of there before you get into the pool.
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And this is in hopes that the chlorine in the pool, quote, the chlorine in the pool would
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last longer and be more effective in fighting other bacteria and concerns.
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To me, I'm not sure how much it's going to matter.
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At this point in my research, I'm thinking to myself, okay, like, is chlorine really that much of a weakling that he can't handle my like armpit stank?
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Like really, can we, come on chlorine, what are you saying, I stink?
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But,
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Like if the chlorine's levels are affected that much, maybe it really isn't that safe to go swimming in a public swimming pool.
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See Hunter's level one anxiety at the beginning of this episode.
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Just a thought and a peek behind the curtain for my own feelings about all this.
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Like if the chlorine can't get the job done, what are we like, what even are we doing with it?
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like if it's not up to the task, maybe we need to find somebody who's more suited for the job.
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So.
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They say to shower before you get in the pool because it'll help the chlorine do its job longer and more appropriately and I don't know.
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But then they also say that you're supposed to shower after you get into the pool or after you get out of the pool rather.
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Again, I always thought the chlorine made you clean.
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So why bother?
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Like, but it's really to undo what the chlorine did.
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They say chlorine left on your skin and hair can damage your skin and hair.
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Yet you were just in the pool with the chlorine on your skin and hair for an hour, if not hours on end.
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So like.
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is how concerned can we really be, I guess.
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To me, it seems inconsistent.
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Unless you are dirty or really sweaty, like if you've got like mud and dirt on you, take a dang shower, but that's just basic cleanliness.
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Like that's not pool etiquette, that's human etiquette.
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So yeah, if you're nasty, get not nasty, just do it.
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And if you're sweaty, just shower off, it's fine.
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And I guess it makes a little bit of more sense because I, you know, you go to the pool in the summer and everybody's just default sweaty in summertime.
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So like, I kind of get that and I kind of get what's going on there where it's like, if you just got sweat default because of the time of year, you're going to want to undo that
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default before you get in the pool.
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But
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Don't take my word for it.
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Take the Water Quality and Health Council, which is again, a real council that I definitely knew existed before I looked any of this up.
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Puts it this way, not showering before getting into a pool is like sharing a bathtub with all the people who are in the pool with you at the same time.
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Now, I would like to challenge this thought in just one way.
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There is chlorine.
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We do have a combatant to the human cesspool.
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You're putting it, now you're putting it in terms though that I like because herein, I don't want to show my hand too much, but herein is a big concern with bath taking.
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And again, it is the product of the level one anxiety that is public pools for me.
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the thought of sharing a water space with people is just little heinous to me.
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They also note the things chlorine is supposed to kill is separate from
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regular human contagion and byproduct and concerns like sweat poo and pee so Really chlorine is not made to disinfect your sweat your poo poo and your whiz It's not made for
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that chlorine.
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No, it's not made to disinfect those things the council also recommends that you use soap now
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you're gonna think, that's kind of a no brainer.
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But again, people don't do that when they go to the pool.
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They just stand under the current of water and call it good.
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They just like, dip in the shoulder, okay I showered sweet and I've checked my box.
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And again, little me going to pool with my dad, I'm seeing these people like fake shower and I'm like, why do I have to go fake shower?
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Or like, nobody's really taking a shower here.
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You know what saying?
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But they put it this way.
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So this is where the science of
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pool etiquette, and showering before a pool comes in.
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They put it this way, there are two types of chlorine compounds in pools.
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And you can think of these as free chlorine compounds and already combined chlorine compounds.
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So when chlorine is added to a pool, it is added as free chlorine.
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That means it's chlorine that wants a friend.
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He's looking for somebody to hang out with, much like a lot of people are.
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And as I understand it, he's looking for a bond that can form with a foreign contaminant.
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So, when chlorine does this, it becomes combined chlorine.
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And as such, because it has combined with a contaminant, that molecule of chlorine can no longer be friends with any other contaminants.
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He's already buddied up.
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So...
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A freshly chlorinated pool then would have a limited number of these free chlorine compounds and thus a limited number of contagion and contaminants that it can react with
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and fight.
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Thus, showering helps lower the effect of your body against the chlorine.
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It makes the chlorine last longer.
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Voila!
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The council also notes that testing this and figuring out if you have a good amount of chlorine isn't as simple as walking into the pool and like getting a drag of that
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chlorine.
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It's not like that because they point out that like often when chlorine begins to react with too many contaminants, it actually gives off more of that overly chlorinated smell.
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And so it could be that a pool that has too strong of a chlorinated smell
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has one of two problems.
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It has too high of a chlorine count, which could be damaging to your skin, probably gonna be fine, but like, or it has had too much contaminant and thus has already reacted giving
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off a stronger chlorinated smell.
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Either way, you can't just go off smell alone.
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Like just going, ooh, smells like chlorine, must be clean.
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Maybe not the case.
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to the point where there are some people who, for lack of a better word, care too much to be in a public pool, take their own chlorine test kits to pool.
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Now, if you roll into a chlorinated pool, a public swimming pool, a public swimming place, with your own personal chlorine test kit, think, Poindexter, I think you're going in too
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deep here.
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Like, I have anxiety about the things that go on in a pool, but I ain't gonna test it.
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Like, no, that's not happening.
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The experts report on average, so here's where it gets nitty gritty as I don't remember who said it said it.
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The average person has 0.14 grams of fecal matter in their perineum.
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That means around the booty hole area.
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And that children, the wee ones, may have as much as 10 grams.
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The heck.
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Wipe your kids' butts.
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Make sure them things are clean.
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Just...
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Just make sure your kids butts are clean.
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But doing the math, a pool containing 15 unshowered adults and 30 unshowered children, we're gonna circle back to that number here and just say, could contain an average of 152
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grams of fecal matter, which is about a third of a pound.
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Now, granted this is spread out and like not concentrated into one spot, but it's still a third of a pound of poo.
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That's too much.
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And we need you chlorine to make us feel better about these things.
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Based on the fact that there are approximately one million virus particles in one gram of feces.
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Based on the fact that there are approximately one billion virus particles in one gram of poop.
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A typical community pool, which has about 19,000 gallons of water, could contain about eight million virus particles per gallon from these 45 bathers if...
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their booty holes are as muddy as they could get them.
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One of those viruses in our smear-stanged bungholios brings to the local pool is called cryptosporidium.
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uh Cryptosporidium is bad because it is chlorine resistant.
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This thing actually says, you know what, how about you huff straight off chlorine?
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I ain't taking none of your sass this afternoon.
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and I'm gonna dirty whatever water I please.
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Thank you very much.
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Cryptosporidium causes diarrhea symptoms in an illness that is commonly called crypto, which at best produces everyone's favorite bathroom phenomena, the runs, and at worst can
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lead to respiratory problems.
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It's ghost diarrhea, crypto diarrhea, because
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It seems to appear as if from nowhere.
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No one wants Danny Phantom diarrhea.
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No one wants that.
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I ain't scared of no ghosts, but I do not like diarrhea.
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So stay away crypto.
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You're bad.
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And we need to get better chlorine that can fight this stuff off.
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That's all I'm saying.
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A Dutch research team
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said that the recommended time in a rinse off shower is 30 to 60 seconds.
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And after that, the amount of time that you spend under the water doesn't really matter much.
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Now, this is what I would say to all these gentle fellows that I saw like fake shower when I was growing up at the pool.
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It's like, do something besides stand under it for three seconds.
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Like if you're gonna shower, do it.
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Otherwise you might as well have just been like me and done nothing.
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That's all I'm If you use soap, it's even better.
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The data has swayed me in some way.
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Showering is good, but like, it's a public pool.
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And there's gonna be some randy stuff in there anyway, so just be careful with it, you know what saying?
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Like just, no.
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But the other thing that you have to keep in mind here is, you know, all this like, no, so many grams of fecal matter, la-di-da, okay.
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When you're doing that like 30 second shower, you're standing under the thing, how much of that water is rinsing off your B?
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Unless you're taking a naked shower, which every single guy that I ever saw at the pool growing up, I say growing up because I don't remember the last time I was like a public
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swimming pool.
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Thanks, COVID.
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But yeah, every single one of them is wearing their swimsuit underneath that shower.
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Every one of them.
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So.
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Is it really rinsing off the poop hole?
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Like is it actually or are we just making ourselves feel better about
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It's like a pre-soak.
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Other important locker room and changing room etiquette to consider is don't leave your bathing suit and other wet things laying around.
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Like pick that crap up.
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Nobody wants wet floors in a swimming pool like changing room.
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I know it's a pool and there's water everywhere, but like the water should not be in the places where like you don't want water.
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Do your best.
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Like you're going to dribble.
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You're going to drip because you were just in a pool, but like try to contain it.
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Don't just like
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dribble and then like leave all your wet stuff laying around.
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Don't do that noise.
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No, if they provide the towels, put the used towels where they're supposed to go.
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This is primarily in a hotel situation.
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They will often have pool related towels.
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This is a sorting thing.
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They have special towels for the pools and special towels for the rooms.
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And I don't really like, I'm guilty of this, but like try to not mix them up, you know?
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And
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My thing was always, what if I go down to the pool and they don't have pool towels?
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Take your room towel with you just in case, but if they have pool towels, then swap over.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Yeah.
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And for now, wear your mask in the changing room.
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Like, things are opening up, things are getting better and brighter and happier.
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ah But still wear your mask in the changing rooms.
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We're not quite out of the woods yet.
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You don't have to wear your mask in the pool.
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uh
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Every guideline that I looked at says, yeah, you should not be wearing your mask in the pool, which makes sense.
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That's a waterlog problem.
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This will help pools and community centers stay open this summer.
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Give us something to do.
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The movie theater in the town that I live in here in Albany, it just opened again yesterday for the first time in a year in a couple months.
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Keep stuff open.
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Just do it.
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It's fine.
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A lack of showering is one concern, but what if the contaminant comes from within while you are in the pool?
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There's something about to go going to the pool and getting into the pool that causes digestional and bathroom concerns.
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And with that, it's time for a mid episode segment of Hunter's Anecdotes.
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to keep you afloat.
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So as I noted, in the summers, in the days that my dad had off.
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I remember distinctly getting just jazzed about getting to go to Gibson Pool ah in Montana.
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And I would look forward to going to the pool with my dad all week long.
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But like clockwork, every single time, the day it was time to go to the pool, I would just get this low-grade anxiety about having to go to the pool.
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And every single time, it manifests itself in the same way.
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I would get the poo-poos.
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I would get the squirts right before I had to go to the pool.
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And then I would go to the bathroom and try to purge it all before I went to the pool.
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And then I would be fine.
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I would be good to go.
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No problems in the pool.
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And I don't know if this is a thing.
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I couldn't really find it.
23:59
But I definitely have pre-swimming anxiety.
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And I don't know what that is.
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But I distinctly remember summer after summer,
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getting ready to go to the pool and sure enough, like, I gotta go to the bathroom and it's just, it hits me in the worst way.
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But there's another anecdote here that needs to be shared because I said, you what happens if you you shower, you fall, the rules, but you're inside the pool and you have, you have
24:27
added a new element to the pool.
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And this is everybody's greatest fear.
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Somebody pooping or peeing in the pool.
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It's no good for anybody.
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It's bad news.
24:36
Don't, no.
24:37
But Gibson Pool, I don't remember when it was, I believe I was in middle school.
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I went to Gibson Pool with my dad.
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And the reason I think I was in middle school was because I remember I had learned how to swim and I was old enough to where my dad had let me go over to the lazy river area and be
24:59
in the lazy river area by myself.
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And from here on out, I'm gonna give you this disclaimer as I remember it.
25:08
you know, the lazy river, you're like floating on your tube, or if you're me, you just didn't rent the tube and you just like tried to snag one that somebody left behind.
25:14
Or you just kind of float and let your feet kind of drag on the bottom of the thing and it's fun.
25:19
Like you just kind of move along and it's a nice little thing.
25:23
But I remember coming around the corner and I just see people getting out of this pool like it is electrified.
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They cannot leave the water soon enough.
25:34
They're scrambling to like,
25:36
not use the little steps or the rails that they have.
25:39
And they're like trying to climb up and over the thing, but it's the lazy river.
25:43
So like you can't really get enough upward force because it's like pulling you sideways at the same time.
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And as you come around the corner, it's right in this area and there's this like pandemonium going on.
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And then there's the like double whistle.
25:56
And every time you know, like when the lifeguards toot in the double whistle, you know there's something shady going on.
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And so you hear the double toot toot.
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And then you just hear everybody out, everybody out.
26:07
And it turns out there was what appears to have been a log floating in the pool.
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you know, and so like they pull everybody out of the pool and now they've got to like filter the whole thing.
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And so they shut down the lazy river.
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But I remember there's a lot of people like standing around grabbing their stuff.
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And I'm like walking over back to the pool.
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And I remember like the guy fished the thing out.
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after they had already told people they were gonna have to close down the lazy river.
26:37
And he fished out a Snickers bar from the pool.
26:40
Somebody had tossed a full-size Snickers bar into the pool and some passerby saw this chocolate tube and said, somebody relieved themselves here.
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And they freaked out and everybody had to get out of the lazy river.
27:01
Is that a snake?
27:01
Somebody floated a Snickers down the lazy river and it just was bedlam at Gibson Pool lazy river that day.
27:12
And this has been...
27:15
Another installment of Hunter's Anecdotes to keep you afloats.
27:27
People going, pulling not just a Snickers, but a real go in the pool has been a concern when it comes to pool since the beginning of pools.
27:38
And kids are the worst for this.
27:39
This is also why you don't want to go to the pool if you have diarrhea.
27:45
Now I just admitted to be having like, but like it went away, I promise.
27:49
You don't want to back, you don't want the back barricade to fail.
27:54
Like the back gate needs to remain shut when you are at the.
27:58
Little kids swim diapers are a feat of human ingenuity and they seem to hold an infinite amount of liquid.
28:04
But not really, but because there is a limit.
28:08
But what is fascinating about little kids swimming diapers is it seems that only the liquid that is produced on the inside of the swimming diapers contributes to the total
28:18
amount of absorption that the diaper is doing.
28:22
The pool of the water is not sucked up like the diaper is SpongeBob.
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No.
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It's amazing.
28:28
It's a wonderful thing.
28:32
But these swimming diapers are not designed to hold what is inside them for a long time.
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And when it doesn't, ladies and gentle people, we have a breach.
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Don't go to the bathroom in the pool.
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It's a no-brainer.
28:46
If you're able to control your bathrooming, don't do it in the pool.
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And if you aren't, don't go to the pool.
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Like if you can't control your bathrooming, don't go to the pool.
28:57
Or if you are in charge of a small child who may not be
29:01
very good at controlling their bathroom, just keep an eye on them.
29:05
You know when a kid has to go to bathroom.
29:08
Get them out of there.
29:09
Keep that diaper fresh.
29:10
Keep that swimming diaper fresh.
29:12
Because you don't want to be the cause of a Gibson Pool Snickers bar scenario.
29:17
You don't want to be that guy.
29:20
Next, we need to dispel some myths about pools and urine.
29:24
P does not turn the pool water blue.
29:28
Never has.
29:30
This is a movie trope.
29:31
that they use to give an invisible phenomenon a visible component and gag.
29:39
uh I think of grownups or grownups too.
29:42
I don't remember which one because I don't think I actually watched either of those mediocre movies.
29:47
But sorry Mr.
29:49
Sandler, you're, Adam Sandler ain't listening to this.
29:52
But I'm sorry Mr.
29:53
Sandler.
29:55
I shouldn't say mediocre if I haven't seen it.
29:58
Fair enough.
29:59
But.
30:00
But it's still nasty, like even if it doesn't turn the water blue, it's still nasty.
30:04
And I think it's a myth, pools actually like keep propagating.
30:08
Because if people are afraid of this like blue ink cloud that appears around them if they pee, they're gonna be much less likely to pee in a pool.
30:17
But if they're told, yeah, nobody will be able to see it, they're gonna be like, well maybe I'll get away with it, you know?
30:22
So I think this is something that pools continue to tell people, but like, it ain't gonna turn blue.
30:27
Or if it does,
30:29
It ain't gonna turn blue like it does in the movies.
30:31
It's gonna be a little bit, you know what saying?
30:33
But it's still nasty, so don't do it.
30:36
Having a Snickers in your pool is a visible thing.
30:39
A turd is very much visible.
30:40
You can't fake a turd.
30:41
If you turd in the pool, it's guaranteed to clear the pool.
30:44
I mean, yeah.
30:48
Don't turd in the pool.
30:49
You're not gonna get away with it.
30:50
It's gonna sneak out, it's gonna get out, and there's gonna be a lot of pandemonium when people find it.
30:55
Just don't do it.
30:57
The swimming pool is not your toilet.
30:59
Shower before you get in.
31:00
Heck, shower before leaving home.
31:03
Go to the bathroom before.
31:04
Go to the bathroom.
31:07
during, but get out of the pool to do it.
31:10
And if you're swimming in nature, so this has all been for pools, but if you're swimming in like a lake or a river or an ocean, here's the general guideline.
31:18
You can pee as long as you're in and around people.
31:21
The water is already filled with wax stuff, so just go for it.
31:25
There's something nice about floating a river, just letting it fly.
31:29
You know what saying?
31:30
Like why not?
31:31
Like it just gets a little warm right there.
31:34
It's all good.
31:35
You're...
31:36
You're in nature, you're experiencing it.
31:38
You're in it, you are it.
31:43
Be free.
31:44
Go pee.
31:45
If the water is moving, if it is visibly moving, it's better.
31:49
Because it's not gonna sit in one spot.
31:53
But, it's like, you don't wanna go poop.
31:55
Either way, you just don't wanna go poop.
31:56
Because then you got like poopy in your pants.
31:58
You don't wanna deal with that.
31:59
You don't want brown in your pants, even if you're swimming.
32:03
It ain't gonna live down there forever.
32:05
It's gonna get its way out.
32:06
It's gonna get on your leg.
32:07
It's gonna be whack.
32:08
Don't do it.
32:10
When you go swimming this summer, use common sense.
32:13
Try to shower off.
32:15
It seems like it might be worth it.
32:17
And if you're like me and most of your life, you haven't really bought into it, you know, just give it a shot.
32:22
Like, do your best to help chlorine do his best.
32:26
You know what I'm saying?
32:27
I hope you've enjoyed this pool privy etiquette.
32:34
Connect with us on social media.
32:37
We're at
32:38
Privycast on all social media platforms.
32:41
We would love for you to follow and share the show there and just connect.
32:45
We want to grow people's community who are interested in bathrooms, interested in toilets, and are fans of the places that we drop it.
32:54
So connect with us.
32:56
Send us an email, suggestion, feedback, whatever.
32:59
Privycast at gmail.com.
33:01
Rating and review.
33:01
You know all that stuff.
33:03
Go do it.
33:03
It's a wonderful way to help people find the show.
33:05
As always, would like to thank Kevin McLeod for the use of Barroom Ballet.
33:13
You can find Kevin's music at incompetech.org and his music is licensed under Creative Commons 4.0.
33:20
Thanks, Kevin.
33:21
We'd also like to thank Puddington Bear for the use of all colors in the world as Hunter's Anecdotes intro and outro.
33:29
You can find Puddington Bear's music and other work from Puddington at PuddingtonBear.com.
33:35
Thanks Poddington.
33:37
This has been another episode of privy.
33:41
Thank you for joining us.
33:44
And now, as always, don't forget to flush.
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