Latest / CEO Kingdom Seekers / Ep 30: You Are a Resource, Not the Source: The Weight of being a High Responsibility Human™

Transcript

Ep 30: You Are a Resource, Not the Source: The Weight of being a High Responsibility Human™ · CEO Kingdom Seekers

• 0:00
  Hey, y'all.
• 0:00
  Welcome to this week's episode.
• 0:02
  You know, we're just gonna start this one off really honest, okay?
• 0:05
  I, ooh, the enemy has come for me so hard today.
• 0:10
  He has come so hard for me today.
• 0:12
  Ugh.
• 0:14
  And I don't want to record this right now because I was just talking with TLC, my husband, and I was just like, I feel like this episode itself is my lived experience.
• 0:29
  And while it's something that I have been working to come out of so intently and, like, intensely with Jesus, I'm still in this, y'all.
• 0:40
  And today was a day that it got b- brought back up for me.
• 0:45
  And if you're like,"What is this, Lee?
• 0:46
  What are we talking about?" I am talking about the weight of being a high-responsibility human.
• 0:53
  I'm talking about just, like, the tough life that many of us Christian leaders hold, and how heavy it can feel to just do the jobs that we do as leaders, and as parents, and as spouses, and as, you know, children of God.
• 1:17
  Like, it's, it's heavy.
• 1:19
  It's really heavy.
• 1:20
  Speaker: And I
• 1:20
  want to talk specifically about what it means to be a high-responsibility human,'cause you might have heard me say that, and you've probably heard me say that in a few episodes if you've listened before.
• 1:30
  If you haven't, welcome.
• 1:31
  We're so glad you're here.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: And being
• 1:32
  a high-responsibility human means that you are called to do things that impact a lot of people in some pretty significant ways.
• 1:41
  So it is, you are responsible for the lives, and the livelihoods, and the standards of living of a lot of people, and
• 1:51
  Speaker 6: not usually
• 1:52
  in this, like, tangential drop a pebble in a pond kind of way, but in a, like, very visible, direct
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: way.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: So
• 2:00
  a lot of people get impacted when you make a choice.
• 2:03
  A lot of people get impacted when you make a choice,
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: and it
• 2:05
  is clear, and it is present, and it is like, visible to you in the moment that it happens.
• 2:11
  The short-term
• 2:11
  Speaker 27: impact is
• 2:12
  very evident to people watching.
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: And, I
• 2:14
  want to define that because we talk about the high responsibility part a lot.
• 2:18
  That's the part we typically focus in on.
• 2:20
  And today, I want to talk about the weight of that, but I want to talk about why we call our new online community on Substack High Responsibility Humans, and not, like, High Responsibility Leader, or High Responsibility Christian or something like that.
• 2:34
  We went with human for a very specific reason, and it's because being human, we are imperfect.
• 2:40
  We are in- we are fallible.
• 2:43
  Like, we are, you
• 2:45
  Speaker 26: know, to
• 2:46
  put this a little morbid, like we're walking sacks of flesh, right?
• 2:51
  The Bible talks about this.
• 2:52
  It talks about our flesh a lot.
• 2:53
  We are easily damageable.
• 2:57
  Like, we are fine-tuned machines that something goes slightly wrong and, and we got a problem, right?
• 3:03
  And we make a lot of mistakes, So we are vulnerable, and we don't always make the right decisions.
• 3:09
  And so humans, you know, we're not gods.
• 3:12
  We aren't gods.
• 3:13
  And yet, I think for people who identify as a high-responsibility human, a lot of you are in roles where your position is elevated in a way.
• 3:24
  And, yes, it might be from position and from power and, like, influence, sure.
• 3:29
  But more importantly, underneath all of that, the elevation is you're gonna own more of the responsibility for the decisions that get made than anyone else.
• 3:40
  So whether you're the boss, the CEO, the head healthcare provider.
• 3:45
  You're the, you know, you're the the teacher.
• 3:50
  You're the mentor.
• 3:51
  You're the first responder.
• 3:53
  You're the military professional.
• 3:56
  You're the person that when people go,"Well, who decided that?" They're gonna turn and point to you.
• 4:01
  And to bring this back to why I didn't want to record this, I have been trying to record a solo podcast episode for, like, several days, and things just keep happening.
• 4:13
  And today I was like,"You know what?
• 4:14
  It does not matter.
• 4:15
  There's a podcast episode coming out tomorrow.
• 4:18
  I need to record a solo." And all day, like, the enemy's just been like,"Oh, okay, here's a tech problem.
• 4:23
  Oh, okay, here's a second tech problem.
• 4:25
  Oh, okay, here's, here's another thing for you to solve." I'm not even kidding y'all, like the dog is upstairs probably losing her mind at a squirrel.
• 4:33
  The second that I start recording, she starts freaking out.
• 4:36
  Like this is what the enemy's been doing all day.
• 4:39
  This is what's been happening.
• 4:41
  Anyway, we persist.
• 4:43
  And don't hear what I'm not saying.
• 4:44
  Amazing things happened today as well.
• 4:46
  Had an amazing conversation with my husband.
• 4:48
  Had our first few paid subscribers to Substack join.
• 4:52
  Like, had some amazing things happen, and it has been a day.
• 4:57
  And it has been a day where I have had to choose to rely on God as my source and remember that I'm a resource.
• 5:04
  And what really inspired me to bring this up is because my husband and I were having a deep conversation about the fact that even when things get good, even as our business starts to do better, even as our kids start to draw closer to God, even as our marriage starts to strengthen and we start to get even closer with one another, I'm always looking out for danger.
• 5:29
  I'm always looking for the problem.
• 5:30
  I'm always scanning for the threat.
• 5:32
  I won't say always, like, that's a strong word, but very often I'm looking for what's wrong.
• 5:36
  I'm looking for what's gonna need handled, and what's gonna need fixed, and what's gonna need taken care of.
• 5:41
  And my husband does this too, but in a very different way.
• 5:45
  He's a lot more lean back and looking for threat.
• 5:48
  When he actually feels the most danger and the most threat is when I am in, threat/danger mode.
• 5:53
  Because for him, our kids and me are his most precious, like, you know, things to protect.
• 5:59
  And so if I'm in danger mode, he knows what can happen, and he knows the negative impact that that can have just on our entire lives.
• 6:08
  And so he gets into, this hypervigilant danger mode.
• 6:12
  And so I'm bringing this up because we were having a conversation around the fact that he's like,"Babe, I'm tired.
• 6:18
  Like, I have been really holding a lot of responsibility because I've been supporting you as you've been, battling with the weight of being a high-responsibility human and stepping into some new positions and new opportunities in your life.
• 6:35
  And you are having to recognize that, like, God is positioning you for these." And this is not actually how the conversation went, y'all.
• 6:43
  It probably would've been You probably would've enjoyed listening to it.
• 6:46
  To be honest, like, we argued, and I love the way that we argue now because it's so different than how we used to argue before we had invited God into our marriage from a covenantal perspective and, had him be the third one in our marriage because now we pray when we're arguing.
• 7:02
  Like we, he was upset, and I was trying to understand him.
• 7:05
  And for the first time, I feel like I really heard him differently than how I usually hear him.
• 7:12
  And what I heard him saying was, it doesn't matter how good things get, you're always still scanning for what's wrong." And he's like,"You are optimistic, and you know, over the last several years just with everything we've been through, that optimism has kind of, you know, gotten a little bit, beat up and bruised up.
• 7:31
  And sometimes you're more pessimistic.
• 7:33
  You're worrying a lot more than you used to." And I know that God says that we're not supposed to be worrying.
• 7:39
  Like that's not something that we should be doing.
• 7:41
  We should be casting our anxieties and our cares onto Him.
• 7:45
  So I decided to record this episode because I wanted to be vulnerable with y'all about what I go through, and to show you, as the leader, as the main person of the High Responsibility Humans community, I'm not like fully through this.
• 8:02
  Okay?
• 8:02
  Like I'm still deepening in layers of this.
• 8:04
  And so when I'm leading you in these exercises, these practices, when you're coming in and learning like practical, tangible, tactical ways to create space and to root yourself in your identity in Christ, and to be a better Christian leader, and to have more regulation, and to have more capacity, like all of this is lived experience.
• 8:26
  All right?
• 8:26
  So I just wanted to start off with that and invite you all into High Responsibility Humans community before we even get started so I can get, like, the sales pitch out of the way.
• 8:35
  Because honestly, while I'd love to have you in there, if it feels like it's right for you, and you can try it free for seven days if you'd like, I, I, I don't care if you join it or not.
• 8:43
  I just care if you join it, if it's gonna actually be helpful for you.
• 8:46
  And so whether you join or not, I want to make sure that you have this podcast available to you because I believe this will be helpful to you.
• 8:52
  But if this is helpful, then the community's definitely gonna be helpful.
• 8:56
  All right?
• 8:57
  So here's what I wanted to start with.
• 8:59
  The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok, and I saw this video of this community, and it just, like, hit me in the chest, y'all.
• 9:08
  It was a video of a soldier and, a police officer and a few other people who are, like, I would define as high-responsibility humans, and they're in their full uniform.
• 9:18
  So, like, they have their weapons.
• 9:21
  They have their protective gear.
• 9:23
  They have all of those things.
• 9:24
  Okay?
• 9:25
  And they're walking up to this, like, gate at a camp, and then it's, like, flashing to these pictures of these people still in their tactical uniforms, their, work gear, but they're at home.
• 9:36
  And they're sitting by the, the coffee table while they're playing a game with their kids, but they still have their helmet and their boots on.
• 9:43
  they're in the pool, but they still have their weapon.
• 9:46
  They're, you know, sitting, they're, they're hanging out with friends, but they still have their stethoscope around their neck, right?
• 9:52
  They're still wearing the gear of their high-pressure role while trying to live their ordinary family life, and they look weighed down.
• 9:58
  Like, that was what I saw.
• 9:59
  I'm looking at these people, and I'm like,"They're weighed down by these identities that they hold as these people who are showing up and running toward danger when other people are running away." And the camp that they're walking up to, like, as they walk up, the people who work there, like, start to take off the pieces of their uniforms, and I don't know what this organization is.
• 10:22
  I searched for it.
• 10:23
  If somebody else knows who it is and you wanna share it, that would be amazing.
• 10:26
  Like, send us an email.
• 10:28
  But it looks like what they do is that they help people who have brought their roles home with them that are preventing them from just being everyday humans with their families and with their friends.
• 10:41
  Like, they brought those high-responsibility roles home, and those roles, like, you're trained to anticipate what's gonna go wrong.
• 10:49
  You're trained to notice what everyone else misses.
• 10:51
  You're trained to make these high-stakes decisions, and you're trained to stay calm while others panic.
• 10:55
  And here's what's interesting Our nervous systems are designed to be regulated.
• 11:02
  And people misunderstand nervous system regulation.
• 11:06
  Nervous system regulation means that you accurately assess appropriately respond to threat.
• 11:11
  You accurately assess a threat and you appropriately respond.
• 11:15
  For 99.9% of the population, if somebody is holding a gun to you or somebody is threatening, you are going to probably try to run away.
• 11:28
  You reacting and trying to get away is the move.
• 11:33
  Or you reacting and curling up into a ball and, like, protecting your vital organs is the move.
• 11:39
  That's regulation because you're going,"This is something that very well could kill me at any moment, so I'm going to react." Very few people fight and even fewer people, run into that situation having not been in it in the first place.
• 11:55
  Very few people can stay calm and run into something that they weren't even a part of to start to save others whose lives, whose lives are in danger.
• 12:04
  And so the ability to do that, it's good, it's necessary, and it's even connected to our spiritual gifts, okay?
• 12:13
  The challenge is when the nervous system and the identity and your spiritual life never receive the message that, like, your shift is over, that you're home, that it's okay for you to not be hypervigilant, that you don't have to be fixing or scanning or, like, being in charge all the time, like, when that doesn't translate to your home life, then you've got a problem, okay?
• 12:40
  And so that's, like I said, why we call this High Responsibility Humans and not just leaders, Christians, CEOs, clinicians, helpers, because, like, high responsibility isn't the issue.
• 12:51
  You forgetting that you're a human underneath of your responsibility is.
• 12:54
  And I love working with high-responsibility humans because I was trained as one, okay?
• 13:01
  Now, I didn't serve in combat.
• 13:03
  I wasn't a first responder as, like, an EMT or a firefighter.
• 13:06
  But I did work as an ICU nurse, medical ICU nurse, and an acute care nurse practitioner.
• 13:12
  I was the first nocturnal nurse practitioner at the cancer center where I worked.
• 13:17
  I was a medical ICU nurse at 23 years of age, okay?
• 13:22
  So I understand a version of constant assessment and anticipation.
• 13:28
  I understand that.
• 13:30
  And because as an ICU nurse, like, your patient can start crashing in a moment.
• 13:35
  You can get an admission and five minutes later have your hands literally inside of somebody else's body.
• 13:41
  You can, as a nurse practitioner, walk into a room and be the one that's expected to save somebody's life.
• 13:49
  And in critical care,, that hypervigilance can save your life.
• 13:54
  And there were so many nights that I walked out of that ICU, I left that hospital, but that hospital did not leave me And it wore me down.
• 14:05
  It weighed me down.
• 14:06
  And there are CEOs, there are ministry leaders, there are people out there who own businesses and run teams and people who are always labeled as the responsible one, who carry that heaviness, who run toward when other people run away.
• 14:22
  And it doesn't mean that you have to be an ICU nurse or a healthcare provider there are so many people out there that are CEOs, parents, ministry leaders, helpers, entrepreneurs.
• 14:31
  You are all the responsible ones.
• 14:35
  And the issue is, is that when you are somebody who makes these big decisions and these impactful decisions in your work on a consistent basis, oftentimes that becomes the posture that you live in all the time.
• 14:49
  And that posture requires some tension to it.
• 14:52
  That posture requires the ability to just be a little bit more on guard than normal.
• 14:58
  And as someone who has sat in those boardrooms and who has attended those meetings, I will tell you, sitting around high-responsibility humans, depending on the, the workplace environment that you're in, there's sometimes even extra tension because the threat isn't just that a patient might not do well.
• 15:15
  The threat is also that you have, other people who are in leadership with you who don't act as responsible as they should or who make decisions that make your job harder.
• 15:24
  you may be working in a place where there's a lot of negative public relations or where you're gonna be perceived in a light that other people really don't appreciate.
• 15:33
  I, I, I still, I, I go back to the CEO of the insurance company who was murdered in broad daylight.
• 15:40
  And people were like,"Yeah, he deserved it," right?
• 15:43
  Because he made these horrible decisions.
• 15:44
  He's a CEO.
• 15:45
  He's a high-responsibility human.
• 15:47
  He deserves it.
• 15:48
  Even listening to how people talk about our government officials, and I don't care what political party you are a part of, like, hearing lots of people on different sides speak so callously,"Well, they're in these offices making these choices, so they don't deserve X, Y, and Z." A lot of times the responsibility that comes with that role, people look at that and see it as a role of power and control, and they go,"Well, we don't need to see them as humans.
• 16:13
  We just see them as leaders." But there's a person underneath of that.
• 16:17
  And so other people treat you like that all the time, like you're not a human, and you kind of forget you are one too.
• 16:23
  And so when the way that God has designed us and gifted us that helps us carry that responsibility, that helps us be a natural leader, when that becomes this tense posture that we're living in all the time, that hypervigilance can become this inability to relax and to receive.
• 16:42
  That responsibility can become this inability to let go of control.
• 16:49
  This high level of discernment that's required all of a sudden just becomes threat scanning at all moments of all time, even when everything's chill.
• 16:58
  Your hyperawareness and extreme preparedness for anything to happen becomes restlessness.
• 17:05
  And this stewardship that we have claimed, These assets that we have taken responsibility to protect, these, charges, these people that we have taken on as our role to keep safe, that can really, like, distort into a belief that everything depends on us.
• 17:26
  Everything depends on us.
• 17:28
  And notice the little bit of we start to play God, and it's not intentional, it comes from this really, really beautiful place, but oftentimes it comes from a traumatic place.
• 17:41
  What I see from a lot of people in my role as a former clinical trauma professional in the ICU working with my colleagues and myself in, our, you know, friends and colleagues who are first responders, police officers, military, you know, people who lead very big companies, people who make important decisions, public figures.
• 18:06
  Professional athletes is a huge one.
• 18:08
  We just watched the Ohio State football game this weekend and, it was a little rough if any of you are sports fans.
• 18:15
  And I'm talking about it the next day with my dad and he says,"You know, the thing I just have to remind myself of all the time is, like, those are 18 to 22-year-old kids out there.
• 18:26
  Those are just 18-year-old boys playing football." And we've put them in this extreme position of being a high responsibility human.
• 18:33
  They represent something.
• 18:35
  They have a ton of responsibility that the people that are their fans or their opponents that we put on them and place on them, and they take it, and they wear it, and it's heavy.
• 18:45
  And so oftentimes with all of those types of high responsibility humans, underneath of all of this, if you look at their pasts, they have had experiences where they learned from a pretty early age that things can go wrong, that people aren't always dependable, that people who should be protecting us sometimes fail to do so, whether they're trying or not trying, and sometimes they're even the people who end up hurting us themselves.
• 19:16
  And our ability to be useful can feel safer than having needs So there's a lot of painful experiences that can happen in our youth that then as we get older, our adaptations that we form in response, in reaction to those experiences, they get rewarded because your ability to be hypervigilant, your ability to notice subtle tone shifts in somebody's voice, to catch the facial expressions of somebody who is upset, the ability to always be prepared, to think ahead, to be a Girl Scout, to, you know, make sure that you're doing everything right, and especially people who have some religious trauma wrapped up in this as well, like this is how you show up in order to make God happy, or this is how you show up so that you don't get punished.
• 20:09
  You become competent, you become dependable, you become trusted, and again, you become the person who's responsible.
• 20:14
  You become the person who can handle things that other people can't handle.
• 20:18
  You become the person who runs toward when other people run away, and you do that a lot of times because you don't want other people to experience what you experienced.
• 20:29
  So many healthcare professionals, So many of the frontline people, so many servicemen and women, so many first responders, they do their jobs because they want to help other people not experience what they did.
• 20:45
  And the question that my husband posed that I then took to a couple other questions was this-Why do you feel like you're always in danger?
• 21:00
  And, and this was my response to him, because since the age of five, that's what made sense.
• 21:09
  I was in danger at five, so why would I not be in danger at nine or at 10 or at 15 or at 20?
• 21:18
  Why wouldn't I try to prevent danger to myself if I already knew that danger existed?
• 21:23
  And also, why would I not wanna try to prevent danger from happening to other people?
• 21:29
  And the question that came up from a faith perspective after that, as I was sitting and praying and just, like, asking Jesus for help around this, was, can you let God care for the part of you that believes that you always have to be the one who's caring?
• 21:52
  And, and if you heard that and that brought up some emotion for you, I see you in that because you might be like,"I, I can't let anyone care about Like, sure, I, I let my kids care about me.
• 22:03
  I let my husband or my, my spouse care about me.
• 22:05
  I have friends.
• 22:06
  I have family.
• 22:06
  Like, I let people care about me." But, like, do you really let people care about you?
• 22:12
  And more importantly, do you let God care about you?
• 22:15
  Do you believe that God cares about you?
• 22:17
  'Cause I would venture to guess some of you don't.
• 22:20
  I would venture to guess that some of you do not believe that God cares about you.
• 22:24
  And that right there deserves some time and some prayer, and definitely some time in scripture of looking at all the scripture that says that God cares about you.
• 22:38
  And not only that He cares about you, but that He wants you to stand down.
• 22:43
  And this is where we really get to learn the boundary between stewarding what God gives us responsibility for and understanding that God is a sovereign God who does what He wants, and that a lot of times we try to act sovereign when really God wants us to be stewards.
• 23:04
  He doesn't want us to try to be Him.
• 23:06
  He doesn't want that.
• 23:07
  He wants us to be responsible for what He has given us, and He wants us to understand what it feels like to be so cared for by Him so that we can care for others better.
• 23:24
  He is the source, and he wants us to learn how to be a resource.
• 23:29
  He wants us to learn how it feels to be cared for so that we can then pour from that place.
• 23:37
  We can pour from this place of abundance rather than pouring from this place of depletion.
• 23:41
  And I wanted to tell this quick story around the recent, rescue of the soldier, Air Force officer.
• 23:51
  .His call sign's Bravo.
• 23:52
  His name's Brad Cooper.
• 23:54
  My husband actually shared this story with me while we were in this conversation around danger and around relying on God.
• 24:02
  And in this story, A missile hits their plane, and y'all have probably heard, heard about this when it happened several months ago, but a missile hits their plane, and they go down in Iran,.
• 24:12
  And when the officer ejects out of the plane, he looks up after pulling the cord to his parachute, he looks up, and there's a hole in his parachute And so he was interviewed and he said in that moment he looked up, saw the hole in his parachute, and he prayed,"Lord, your will be done.
• 24:31
  But if I'm getting through this, I'm gonna need help.
• 24:35
  Lord, your will be done, but if I'm getting through this, I'm gonna need help.
• 24:40
  "God, if I die, okay." That's what I hear.
• 24:43
  "God, if I die in this, okay.
• 24:45
  But if I'm getting through this, you're gonna have to help me because this is gonna really hurt." And, and, you know, reportedly, he hit the ground like 70, 80, 90 miles an hour, broke his back, had to get up and run to try to survive because again, the, the opposing forces are trying to find him while our people are also trying to find him.
• 25:05
  so I share this because, like, he survived the missile hitting the plane because he stayed calm when most people would've panicked.
• 25:13
  He has the training, and he took action.
• 25:16
  But, like, there's these moments where our human capability reaches this edge, and we have to call on God.
• 25:20
  Like, we can't help it.
• 25:22
  And like when there's a hole in our parachute, there's nothing left to control, so many of us go,"Okay, God, your will be done, but if I'm getting through this, please help me." Like, we will ask Him to help us in those moments, but why do some of us wait until there's a hole in the parachute before we ask for God's help?
• 25:37
  Why does surrender for us feel most natural only after we have exhausted every other self-motivated, self-sufficient option?
• 25:49
  What if you called on God before you were in an emergency?
• 25:54
  What if your dependence on God isn't the urgent rip cord that you pull?
• 26:00
  Like, what if we're actually supposed to be trained and take action towards prayer first?
• 26:07
  What if that was our operating system?
• 26:09
  What if that was our tactical plan?
• 26:11
  Any moment I am even feeling slightly frustrated, slightly, overwhelmed, slightly confused, slightly pressured to make a choice, any of that, what if I went to Him first?
• 26:23
  What if I prayed to Him first every time?
• 26:26
  And so I, I chose this verse for today's episode, and here's what's wild, is originally I chose Isaiah 30:15.
• 26:35
  Like, that's what's in my outline here.
• 26:37
  And there are four pieces to that verse, and I'm gonna read that verse in a moment, but here's what's so fascinating, and this is why I love God so much.
• 26:47
  I've mentioned on here before how much He talks to me through words and how much He talks to me through reading and books.
• 26:54
  And I opened the Bible app to pull up Isaiah 30:15,'cause I realized I didn't have it in my notes.
• 26:58
  Like I just have,"Read Isaiah 30:15." I didn't write down the actual verse.
• 27:03
  And the verse of the day today is Deuteronomy 31:8, and I want to read this one first, and then we'll go into Isaiah 30:15, So again, Deuteronomy 31:8,"It is the Lord who goes before you.
• 27:16
  He will be with you and will never fail you or forsake you.
• 27:19
  So do not fear or be dismayed." The Lord goes before you.
• 27:25
  He will be with you and never fail you or forsake you.
• 27:28
  Do not fear or be dismayed.
• 27:31
  If I'm not mistaken, Moses is talking to the Israelites as they're preparing to walk into the Promised Land and he's saying it's okay.
• 27:44
  Like, you don't have to know where you're going.
• 27:47
  You don't have to be the one who decides the plan.
• 27:49
  You don't have to be in control.
• 27:51
  There's another verse that just popped up, right?
• 27:53
  Our, the human heart creates the plan But the Lord orders the steps, right?
• 28:02
  The human heart plans, but the Lord is the one who orders our steps.
• 28:08
  We as humans can be in command.
• 28:11
  We can train, we can be vigilant, we can know what situations to run into, and also we need to know when to, like, stand down.
• 28:26
  We need to know that God is always in control, number one, and number two, sometimes God doesn't want us to do anything.
• 28:36
  Sometimes God doesn't want us to do anything.
• 28:39
  He just wants to handle it, and He wants to let us let Him handle it.
• 28:43
  And this has been the season of my life lately, is God has been like,"Lee, you don't know how to let me handle things.
• 28:52
  You know how to let me help you handle things.
• 28:56
  You don't know how to just sit back and let me be God, and let me do what I am best at doing, and let me please you.
• 29:06
  Not just let me handle the tough situations or, protect you when you're in all these awful moments.
• 29:12
  But, just let you have ease and abundance and safety for more than five seconds before something else comes at you." And I don't know about y'all, but, like, that is incredibly new to me.
• 29:27
  I didn't know, what it felt like to experience this verse by Isaiah 30:15 For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: By waiting and by calm you shall be saved; in quiet and in trust shall be your strength.""No," you said,"upon horses we will flee.""Very well, you shall flee.""Upon swift steeds we shall ride.""Very well, swift shall be your pursuers." That's actually Isaiah 15 and 16.
• 30:13
  And I read that 16 because I think that's super important.
• 30:17
  Isaiah's actually, chastising.
• 30:19
  And he's saying,"God is telling you to wait and to be calm and to trust in quietness." And he says,"But that's not what you all did.
• 30:34
  You didn't do that.
• 30:35
  You decided to panic and do things your own way.
• 30:39
  You decided to react and do things in your own will." And he's like,"Very well.
• 30:44
  Then you doing this the way you wanna do it, it's gonna work out the way that you willed it.
• 30:52
  This isn't gonna end well for you if you don't let me help." And here's the thing, I think a lot of us are used to this.
• 30:58
  We create these situations where we don't return to God.
• 31:03
  We don't center ourself in His Word, in His will.
• 31:06
  We don't rest.
• 31:08
  We don't trust in quietness.
• 31:11
  We go,"Oh my gosh, there's something in front of me that needs fixed.
• 31:13
  I'm gonna fix it." And God's like,"Number one, that didn't need fixing, and number two, even if it did, you weren't the one that I wanted to fix it." And then we create a bigger mess.
• 31:23
  And then, oh, look, there's something else for you to fix.
• 31:26
  And oh, look, there's something else for you to fix.
• 31:29
  Y'all I don't know if any of you have a child like this.
• 31:36
  I was this child.
• 31:37
  and I have had the experience of parenting a child like this, where the child makes a mistake, and instead of asking immediately for help, they try to fix it themselves, and then make a bigger mistake, and then try to fix it themselves, and make a bigger mistake.
• 31:51
  And I can't help but, like, think that that's how God feels with us sometimes.
• 31:56
  I know that a lot of people see the Old Testament God as, like, incredibly vengeful and wrathful, and what I see is he is a God of consequence.
• 32:03
  He is a God that says,"If you want my involvement, I'll help you.
• 32:06
  If you don't, the mess that gets made, you have to live with that." Right?
• 32:11
  So if you spill milk and then try to clean it up using the, the kitchen curtains, and then pull down the rod, and then, like, try to fix the wall with toothpaste, and then you smear the toothpaste all over accidentally, and then you slip and you break your arm, okay, well, when I come in there, like, as a parent, I'm gonna go,"All right.
• 32:31
  Well, I can't un-break your arm." And also, all these bad things happened, and like, now I can, I can help with the mess afterward, but again, you have to want my help at that point.
• 32:45
  And, and not a five-year-old.
• 32:46
  A five-year-old, we're gonna step in and help, right?
• 32:47
  But God gave us, as humans, free will.
• 32:51
  He gave us, as humans, free will, and he said,"If you want my help, I will help you.
• 32:54
  But if you don't want my help, I won't." We don't know how to stand down.
• 33:02
  We don't know how to not run in, especially if we're the ones who made the mess.
• 33:08
  It, it's almost that, like, if you give a moose a muffin or if you give a mouse a cookie type thing where it just goes on and on and on.
• 33:14
  I don't know about y'all, but that was my life for many, many years, was just I'm trying to clean this up without just stopping and pausing and going,"Hold on a second.
• 33:23
  Like, we're not in danger.
• 33:24
  It's okay.
• 33:25
  Nobody's dying." We don't have to fill every gap with another plan or solution or a contingency or a task or a to-do list.
• 33:36
  We don't have to look at rest as irresponsibility.
• 33:40
  We don't have to keep wandering and ruminating on every possible outcome and trying to figure out the plan.
• 33:45
  We don't have to assume responsibility for things that belong to other people and God.
• 33:50
  We can return to him.
• 33:52
  We can come to him in a confession that like,"Hey, God, I don't know how to do this.
• 33:57
  I don't know how to rest.
• 33:58
  I, I don't know how to like, allow you to have enough time and space to come in and actually fill the gap and fix things.
• 34:06
  I don't know how to just sit with the consequences of what I've done without making a bigger mess and actually allow you to forgive me for it and maybe even help me clean it up.
• 34:16
  I, I don't know how to just faithfully do what's mine and not, look around and see all the other things that could get cleaned up and not see those as threats.
• 34:25
  I don't know how to do any of that.
• 34:30
  If you've been taught that your vigilance, your hypervigilance keeps you safe, you don't know how to return to God, and you don't know how to rest because y- you've never had the chance to really practice it probably, and if you have, you had an experience in your life that made it feel unsafe, or you've had continued experiences over and over that make it feel unsafe for you.
• 34:51
  And so this is what we're practicing inside high-responsibility humans because God doesn't sleep.
• 34:59
  He doesn't lose situational awareness.
• 35:01
  He doesn't need us perpetually on watch so that he can keep watch.
• 35:04
  Your ability to anticipate danger can be a massive distortion of your gift of leadership if you don't accurately respond.
• 35:20
  And your ability to return to God is a key part of how regulated your response is gonna be.
• 35:27
  I dare say it's the most important part.
• 35:30
  So this is the work that we're practicing inside of High Responsibility Humans.
• 35:35
  It's not about making highly capable people even more productive.
• 35:38
  I don't care if you become more productive or not.
• 35:41
  It's about creating a rhythm where you can remember you're a human and return to God as your source, and you can get better resourced.
• 35:51
  It's about helping you figure out on a daily basis with God what's true, what's mine, what's His.
• 36:01
  It's about taking the time at the beginning of the week to notice what's occupying your internal and external space, what you're carrying, and what might need set down, and also what might be off to the side that you need to pick up.
• 36:17
  It's about moving beyond,"Did I accomplish enough?" And instead, like noticing what your leadership and what your deepening into your faith and your spiritual gifts is producing both in you and around you.
• 36:28
  It's about coming into the space and bringing some really serious things that you are carrying, and getting discernment from other wise humans who've been through things that are similar to you or who haven't been through things that are similar, who can have a very fresh perspective, instead of believing you have to solve it alone.
• 36:51
  It's about coming into a space where you don't have to be the expert.
• 36:55
  You don't have to be the CEO.
• 36:56
  You don't have to be the clinician.
• 36:57
  You don't have to be the caregiver.
• 36:59
  You don't have to be the person who's gonna solve it.
• 37:01
  You don't have to be the person with the answer.
• 37:02
  You don't have to be the watchman or the lookout.
• 37:05
  You can just be a person.
• 37:08
  It's about stepping back from urgency long enough to notice where you are and what's going on, and what God is maybe trying to grow or prune or end or start or shift how you carry it.
• 37:26
  Those six things are the practices inside of high responsibility humans and those aren't six more things for you to be responsible for doing correctly.
• 37:34
  They're not six more things that you get to then judge yourself on if you did a good job or not.
• 37:39
  You don't get to go,"Oh, I made a mistake there.
• 37:41
  Let me fix" No.
• 37:43
  They're rhythms! They're designed to help you create space so that you can listen and notice and slow down and receive and be cared for and recognize God's provision, to experience gratitude, and most importantly, to exist without constantly scanning the horizon for what could go wrong.
• 38:09
  You are a resource.
• 38:11
  You are made in the image of God, and you are so powerful and so capable and so brilliant and so gifted, and also you are so tired.
• 38:24
  So take off the gear.
• 38:29
  And, and look, you might not even realize that you are holding what you are holding, and that it is as heavy as it is We had this exercise that we used to do, and I, I still love it.
• 38:44
  it's called the 10-second protocol.
• 38:45
  And in the 10-second protocol, you tense up all of your muscles in your body as it feels safe to do so, as it's physically appropriate for you as a person to do so.
• 38:56
  You tense everything up for five seconds, and then you release.
• 38:59
  So you take this deep breath in, you tense up for five, and then you release for five.
• 39:06
  And actually, let's do that now, okay?
• 39:07
  So go ahead and take a deep breath in your, through your nose.
• 39:11
  Let out your mouth.
• 39:14
  Now breathe in.
• 39:16
  Tense up your muscles and hold, two, three, four, five, and release, two, three, four, five.
• 39:28
  Now, people ask,"Molly, why do you have us tense up first?" Because you don't know how tense you are.
• 39:34
  If I just ask you to relax right now, you won't relax.
• 39:36
  But if you add tension in and then you release, we do that exercise three times.
• 39:42
  Tense for five, release for five, and then take three slow deep breaths in through your nose, out through your mouth.
• 39:48
  We do that, takes about 45 to 60 seconds.
• 39:54
  And people are like,"Oh my gosh, my body hurts so bad.
• 39:56
  I didn't realize how much my hip hurts.
• 39:57
  I didn't realize how much my shoulders hurt." And then you'll just see people start rolling things out and stretching and moving and yawning and like, they're like,"Oh my gosh." And I'm like,"Yeah, you have been carrying a tension you had no idea was even there." You're sitting at dinner in your metaphorical body armor, tensed up, playing with your kids while mentally scanning for threats.
• 40:16
  You're praying while ruminating on your 17-point to-do list.
• 40:21
  Like, you're not actually letting God do His job.
• 40:28
  There are environments where armor is appropriate.
• 40:30
  There are environments where you being hypervigilant is appropriate, and let's just call it like it is It's not 90% of the environments you're in Especially when you're not at work And here's something else I'm gonna say, and this is a tough part to hear, okay?
• 40:49
  Look, wise people don't pretend that danger doesn't exist.
• 40:54
  But wise people also know when the battle isn't theirs to fight, and they know when they're no longer on the battlefield So some of you are actually creating dangerous situations.
• 41:09
  You are amping up the threat level in your own homes and in your workspaces and in your places that you live because you're so tense and so on alert that everyone else around you feels it And, to be clear, High Responsibility Humans, it's not therapy, it's not counseling, it's not even really coaching.
• 41:36
  It's practical, it's tangible, and It is gifts based and it is spiritually based, and it is science-backed, evidence-based leadership support.
• 41:50
  Because we don't want you to just take all that armor off and then become less capable, less responsible, less ambitious, less faithful, less effective, we just want you to be able to carry the responsibility without believing that you gotta play God.
• 42:05
  All right?
• 42:05
  So if this sounds like it would be supportive to you, come into High Responsibility Humans.
• 42:11
  We have a seven-day free trial, like I mentioned.
• 42:13
  You can actually experience the community and experience the rhythms rather than just, hearing them described.
• 42:18
  And come in, make space, and participate.
• 42:21
  Try out the things you wanna try.
• 42:23
  You don't have to do every piece or part, and just discern whether it's gonna support you in the season you're in or not.
• 42:28
  And I just wanna end this with a prayer, all right?
• 42:32
  In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen.
• 42:35
  God, show us what we've been carrying that belongs to you.
• 42:40
  Show us where vigilance has replaced trust.
• 42:43
  Show us what you genuinely have entrusted to us, and give us courage to carry it faithfully.
• 42:50
  Show us where we've been confusing being a resource with being the source, and teach us to receive your protection and your provision and your love and your care.
• 43:00
  Help us to recognize when it's safe to put the armor down.
• 43:04
  Help us recognize when it's safe to take the armor off.
• 43:07
  Teach us what it means to be fully human while faithfully carrying what you've given to us to steward.
• 43:14
  And help us to be high-responsibility humans without trying to become all-responsible gods.
• 43:20
  Help us remember we are a resource and you are our source, And help us see and discern if it's time to practice living like that's actually true.
• 43:30
  We pray all this in your name.
• 43:31
  Amen.
• 43:33
  All right, y'all.
• 43:34
  I hope to see you inside of High Responsibility Humans.
• 43:36
  You can head to the show notes and get your seven-day free trial started there.
• 43:40
  You can also check out the article of the Air Force officer that inspired this episode.
• 43:47
  Praying for you all and hope you have a blessed week.