Latest / The Rooted Family / Ep 26 | How to Prepare for Sabbath (So You Can Actually Rest)
Transcript
- Christian Cornish: People go into Sabbath hoping it's gonna be this super restful, peaceful day. But then they spend the whole time thinking about doing laundry. They maybe have a sink full of dishes going into Sabbath. So now the kitchen's a disaster and they're looking at dirty dishes all Sabbath. Maybe they didn't buy any groceries, so they're going into the Sabbath with an empty fridge and now they're just like. Annoyed all day because they don't have good food to eat. or they might have not finished certain emails or communication, text messages, or whatever. So that's kind of hanging on them all day. And I think what happens is You go into Sabbath hoping you're gonna stop, but your mind never actually stopped working. And somewhere along the way, you quietly just kind of said to yourself, Well, maybe Sabbath just doesn't work for our family. Okay, so can we settle something? Sure. Who do you think is more prepared in our family? Well, obviously me. Duh. no. No, I'm kidding, it's definitely There's no way. Okay, but hear me out. So I'm usually thinking about food and laundry and packing, but you are usually thinking about the phone chargers. Right? Yeah, because I care about my phone so much. That's exactly it. Actually I do like to think about snacks. Yeah. And beverages. Cause you're like a beverage kind of guy. That's true. So, okay, let's think through the things that maybe one of us or both of us are usually prepared for. Who usually packs the snacks? You do. Me, but you care about the snacks. At least my own snacks. huh. What about who checks the weather? I don't think either of us checks the weather. Is that a thing? Do people check the weather? I mean, we live we live really high up. Uh-huh. The weather's pretty much the same every day. Yeah, yeah. who is the figure it out person? definitely you, because you're just like we'll just buy it when we get there if we forgot it. So true. Like, you know, I've been wanting a new stroller anyway. Might as well just grab one while we're here. Exactly. So it's funny because the preparation affects way more than our vacations. It affects how we experience the Sabbath, too. And usually in relationships, I do feel like there's somebody that prepares more than the other. For example, we're getting ready very soon to go on a month long road trip and I have been preparing stressing. Yeah. It's been stressing. I would say I've been stressing for months, but it really is coming down to the preparation. I have a note in my phone of literally every single thing we have to get done before we leave this house in a couple weeks. Yeah. And I have another part of the note that has a ginormous list of everything we need to pack and purchase before we go on this trip. actually you do have like where every place we're staying is and all that stuff. But the point is, the moment we leave here, we'll have confidence that everything has been finished, that we can leave with Everything prepared. We know exactly where we're going, where we're staying. You know, all those little extra things really just make the the opportunity more enjoyable. It really does. And there's nothing left to think about. I think it's interesting because like I would say I am more of the planner. I think you and I both know that. but you definitely thrive when we plan. I don't think just because you don't naturally think to plan all the details, you definitely thrive with a plan. So even though someone in the relationship might not be the actual planner, I think people, no matter your personality style, feel peace and always do better when there is some sort of a plan, whether it's vacation or something more. Well, let's put it this way. Like I acknowledge and do l enjoy the plan. Right. And I also have a a different workload throughout the rest of the week. Well you have different strengths too. yeah. I'm more detail oriented. And it makes me better at planning, but it doesn't make me a better person. So I think it's recognizing in your relationship who has the strength and then leaning into those strengths. And I wanna acknowledge, yeah, your gifting and your strength and the strength this rhythm of preparing for Sabbath gives us. Mm-hmm. And I have learned this from you though, because you were gone recently as we entered into Sabbath. You were away for the weekend and I actually worked with the kids ahead of time and we planned out what our time was gonna look like. And that was really helpful because I asked them A to prepare so we were used to the rhythm of preparing whether you were here or not. So we prepared. And then we had planned out what our evening was gonna look like going into Sabbath. And it was great because we all knew what to expect. We were all ready to have fun. We were all ready to enjoy. We were all ready to break and rest together. And It actually made the night really, really smooth. Yeah. it was fun. It was anticipated. And there was no complaining. It it really made the the time enjoyable. And I've had plenty of Sabbaths when you were not here where we just kinda like fumbled into it. Like I closed the computer and it's just a madhouse. Nothing got cleaned up. Nothing got prepped. And There was no transition. we had no idea what we were gonna do. We were all just kind of tired and exhausted from the week. And it definitely makes the time less enjoyable. It's less anticipated. It's kind of just feels like you're you're still on brain overload because everybody's asking you for stuff all the time, or what are you doing, or whatever. So as a family rhythm, it's been extremely beneficial to have a good preparation. And I would say this really comes from Lessons learned. like fumbling into Sabbath after the week and then not having a really restful time and realizing wow, if we had cleaned up, if we had done certain things, if we had talked about maybe a few things we were gonna do, it would have been so much more enjoyable. Totally. And so that's really where the we got in this strong rhythm of of preparing and realizing that just a little bit of energy. really paid off significantly. Well, and I I think too, we have heard from our own students, many students, who have tried the Sabbath and they come away almost more frustrated with it than going into it. And almost to the point where sometimes students will start practicing the Sabbath and never want to do it again. And I think that it comes down to this very rhythm. I think that what happens is People go into Sabbath hoping it's gonna be this super restful, peaceful day. But then they spend the whole time thinking about doing laundry. They maybe have a sink full of dishes going into Sabbath. So now the kitchen's a disaster and they're looking at dirty dishes all Sabbath. Maybe they didn't buy any groceries, so they're going into the Sabbath with an empty fridge and now they're just like. Annoyed all day because they don't have good food to eat. You don't angry. No, no, no, no, no. Not on Sabbath. or they might have not finished certain emails or communication, text messages, or whatever. So that's kind of hanging on them all day. And I think what happens is yeah. You go into Sabbath hoping you're gonna stop, but your mind never actually stopped working. And somewhere along the way, you quietly just kind of said to yourself, Well, maybe Sabbath just doesn't work for our family. Yeah. But what if the problem isn't the Sabbath? What if the problem is that most of us are trying to enter that day without just preparing for it? We expect to go full speed to complete stop. Without any transition. And actually they talk about this a lot. I know this is kind of like outside of the scope, but it really is the same idea of like this happens on a small level when you wrap up your workday and if you go straight into like home life, without any break, like even five minutes. I've felt this a bunch. it's hard not to be crabby. you never had this moment of decompression to let it go. But we weren't designed to literally go from thing to thing to thing to thing. Yep. I mean they even say like with your focus, if you lose your focus on something and go back to it. It takes twenty minutes to get that back. Right. Like you're not designed to just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Uh-huh. And never stop. Totally. Yeah. It's almost like going 70 miles an hour and just slamming on the brakes. And you keep sliding a really long way. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So over the last several years, as we've been practicing the Sabbath, our family's been practicing, For over a decade now. And every single weekend we've been honoring the Sabbath, and we have discovered one really important truth that has completely changed our Sabbath and has honestly helped us to fall in love with the Sabbath even more. And that is the idea that Sabbath begins long before the Sabbath begins. So I'll say that again: Sabbath begins. long before the Sabbath begins. And what I mean by that is that our thoughts around the Sabbath and our attention on the Sabbath begins before we even kick off our Sabbath. I think another way to put this is it's easy to think, if I start having a Sabbath, like that will change my life because I will have some rest. But the reality is Sabbath Changes your reality to the rest of the six days of the week actually become about the Sabbath. Totally. Yeah, it's like it impacts how you live the rest of the other six days. Because to live the lifestyle that includes incorporating a Sabbath does require you to be thinking the other six days of the week about how you're going to get there. Yeah. So today we're going to share our Sabbath project. Prep rhythm that has made all the difference for our family because Sabbath prep isn't about getting everything done. It's just about getting your heart ready to stop. And there will be practical things we talk about today that do help us get things done. But I would say that the bigger point we want to make today is that your heart and your mind need time and a rhythm to be prepared to enter into Sabbath. Today is not just about the practical part of preparation. I think we're gonna actually be hitting on that missing piece that keeps so many families from delighting in the Sabbath. And so let's start by talking about why Sabbath prep even matters. Yeah, because preparation is an act of faith. It's saying, God, I trust you enough to stop tomorrow. And I'm going to prepare for that right now today. Because if you look in the scriptures, ancient Israel did have to prepare for the Sabbath because there were things they couldn't do on the Sabbath, like, you know, the cooking, the lighting the fire. So they would prepare their food ahead of time. They would light the fire ahead of time. All of these things were planned for. Yeah. Because rest mattered, but you had to be ready to enter into that rest or you weren't gonna find it useful. Mm-hmm. Yeah, even think about the manna. God when He was gifting the Israelites with manna, he actually gave a double portion of manna before the Sabbath. Yeah, you're right. The Lord asked them to collect that double portion so that way they would have enough to get them through the Sabbath. And I feel like that's such a clear example of God giving us abundance. Like sometimes I think we don't enter into Sabbath because we think, well, we're just not going to have time to do anything else that we need to get done this weekend. But you and I have found more often than not that God does in his miraculous way give us more time than we need. To get the rest of what we need to get done, the rest of those six days of the week. another thing I would think of about preparation, why we want to prepare, is you know, when you put your time towards something, it it says that this thing is important to me. And when we put our time towards preparing. For Sabbath. It's almost like when we do the preparations for Christmas Day, or we do preparations for someone's birthday, or even getting ready for church in the morning, and like the time we take to do these special things, it really says to our heart, mind, and soul that this thing that we're preparing for, that we're thinking through the details for, or that we're taking the time to figure out the logistics and all the things. that this thing is important to us. Wow, I think that's really insightful. Yeah. I think that's a hundred percent true. And it creates an anticipation around it also. Mm-hmm. Which everybody thrives in a moments of anticipation and excitement and joy. And I think that's really, really true. That's a a really great thought. Mm-hmm. what about for you? Like when you I know you shared earlier that there are times we fumbled into Sabbath. I like how you said that because it's true there are some times where we're just like we're just trying to crawl across the finish line into Sabbath and we're just all right, Sabbath is here, let's just begin, even though the house is a disaster. But on the on the weeks that we have really intentionally prepared versus the weeks that we don't. How is it for you as you know, full-time working dad entering into Sabbath? do you feel like there's a difference in how you experience the Sabbath? I think that there is a difference because where I typically find that difference happening is more just around a clear mind of all the things that you can't get away from at home, especially. And then even if you're like, I'm not gonna address that today, it's hard not to think about it. I've had several times where I've like, okay, I need to start a list in my phone of all the things I think I need to do tomorrow because I can't get them out of my head. Mm-hmm. And they're just bothering me. That's such a good practice actually for those that feel like their mind can't stop on the Sabbath. to pull up a note or a piece of paper and anytime you feel like your brain can't stop thinking about this to do item or this task to just write it down so that you can just release it for the Sabbath. Yeah, and it and that does help. I think what we're getting at is it would ideally not be necessary. Yeah. That you could truly just be free of those thoughts. And so, you know, walking into a a dirty bathroom or you know, going into your kitchen and nobody got to sweep it. So I mean, I know that sounds really little, but it's like you can't escape it. Uh-huh. And we especially as young parents, I think we all have these thoughts. I see these jokes all the time on social media about like, it's impossible to have a clean house, like, it'll never happen. I have all these kids. But when you're trying to just let that go for a period you had frustration maybe even throughout the week that like you couldn't get to something. And then every time you walk into that kitchen or that bathroom or whatever, you're just reminded of how you did it get to it. And it just it it doesn't allow you to be free. At least for me. Yeah. Yeah, because I think there's kind of beauty in both. Like one says, All right, I think Sabbath is truly about there's Always going to be something to do. We can't get it all done. And so sometimes when you have kind of some messes, it reminds you of your limitations. so there's something about that that I think there will always be something undone by Sabbath. But then on the flip side, I think that this is proven even psychologically or within science and our brains and how we Can seem to focus more when our space is clutter free or more cleaned up. And I think it plays into Sabbath for me for sure. when we're about to kick off Sabbath and we have done a full Sabbath prep where like the kitchen is clean, there are no piles of paperwork anywhere, you know, the house is at least straightened up, the meals are prepped, like the things that are important to us get done. I feel like I can Genuinely take a big deep breath and and feel like I'm entering into Sabbath with more peace and joy. And I say that with the caveat that I think Sabbath is still attainable on the weeks that we can't do a full Sabbath prep. I think that the rest comes from something spiritual, not necessarily from the physical. Like we can rest in Christ even in a messy setting. However, I think that there is something to be said about preparing because it does say this thing matters to me. And I'm going to set my heart and my mind in the right direction so that way I can experience the fullness of this gift. And you'll find as we share in the next few points, Sabbath prep does not have to be this like labor-intensive thing. in fact, I would encourage you to invite your family. into your Sabbath prep rhythm so that it doesn't fall on one person or feel like this huge burden. and we're not talking about it today, but another key piece to all this is the other rhythms, the other six days of the week, really play into how smooth your Sabbath kickoff is too, because you can't do it all during your Sabbath prep rhythm. You can't Mow the lawn. meal plan, grocery shop, clean your whole house. Like, you know, you can't do every single rhythm hours before kicking off Sabbath. I would say if you're currently preparing for Sabbath, but you hate preparing for Sabbath, you might be trying to fit in way too much into your preparation rhythm. Yeah, you want it to be achievable. I think that's a great point because we're not preparing a perfect home. We're just working on preparing our heart. Yeah, which includes preparing our home because it then prepares our heart. It's so it's true. And I think we're speaking from experience. We're speaking from like a place where we had a lot of Sabbath times, like back to back to back, where we didn't prepare our home. And for you especially, you know, at that time you were home all the time with kids and I was working, you know, throughout the week out of the home. So to me, I probably could come home at that point and just be like, I'm just glad to be here. Right. But for you, the home not being prepared was really distracting. Yeah, that's a good word. You were not able to enjoy the rest and enter into rest fully. Because you just could not let it go from your brain. Yeah. And I've shared that experience with you in the seasons I've worked from home and I'm home all the time too. Because then home is not just like this oasis I've come back to. It's I need to create the oasis. Yep. but we're not trying to finish everything, but it's all about just removing these distractions. And so for us it was pinpointing. the distraction points. So to somebody, their grass not being cut may be like a massive distraction. And to somebody else it may not be that big of a deal. Like you. I could get to it tomorrow. And it's fine. It's like my least favorite one of my least favorite out chores that I have to do. I can let that one go. But truly like walking through a kitchen with crumbs all over the floor is one that I really don't like. Like I don't wanna walk through that. Or like yeah, paperwork all over the place. Yeah. I feel like for me in particular, I love clutter free. So like we try to live clutter free in general now. I feel like there wasn't Definitely or your college roommates would not say you like to live clutter free. No, no. I have definitely grown in this area. Let's be totally honest. I remember our first apartment when we were married had like a giant wall of like piles and boxes that we just chose to never organize or put things away. And I think that continued on for the first couple of years of our marriage. So yeah, like clutter. We definitely like survived through clutter for for several years. And the more we've grown and the more we have simplified our life, we have I think now clutter starts to become a little bit more repulsive. Yeah. so we generally live more clutter free now. But you know, we get to the end of the week and our island has, a stack of paperwork on it, or we have just random little things around the house, piles around the house that need to be taken care of. And so I think it's just recognizing what are the things in the home that would distract you on the Sabbath from fully resting and just embracing that, hey, those are the things that you probably will wanna prioritize preparing or cleaning up or getting rid of before you kick off Sabbath. And maybe for some of you it's learning to turn off your work and allowing it to truly conclude. there'll always be an email that you could Sit down and write. there's that project that you really, really wanted to bring to that complete conclusion, but you're gonna need many more hours. So it's it's just not gonna get done. Or text messages, phone calls, like there's always something that even work wise or personal communication wise that needs to get done. So if that thing is going to bother you on the Sabbath because it's not done. It's knowing hey, in my shutdown, in my Sabbath prep, I need to have this type of work brought to some sort of completion so that I can just release and let go. I reset my planner at the end of the work week. So I take the things that I was hoping to finish, but I didn't get to quite finish. I definitely search through the emails And find that if there's any that I wanted to address something and I didn't have time, I'll either do it really super fast or I like to mark things on red. That's my way of coming back to it. Like flagging it intentionally to come back to first thing on Monday. And then I look at my Monday morning and just make sure, okay, do I know where I'm gonna get started? Mm-hmm. That actually though helps me because I've cleared my mind of the things that will sit over the weekend. Totally. And I've put them in a home. I've put them in a spot on the calendar somewhere to address. And it really feels like that helps me personally come back on Monday with peace. That I hey, I was able to let it go and I know like I'm getting started on the right place. Yeah, that's really good. And I've seen both of us do this is that we both close our laptops We put away our work computers, we put away our planners, we put away our phones. So even doing those kind of things can be part of your Sabbath prep. It's like what do you need to even put away that might be distraction from you, like work wise or technology wise? It's a great thought. So it's not just about cleaning. It really is like, okay, truly, what will distract you on the Sabbath and how can you eliminate those distractions? I think there are some people that envision That the moment Sabbath kicks off, it's gonna be this silent, peaceful, like Zen like experience. And if you have young children, I mean, I'm just gonna give you a wake up call. Like that's that's naive. That's naive, and that ain't happening. Okay. I'm just kidding. No, it's it's just not a reality. Sabbath is not supposed to be this like quiet, peaceful. spa like experience. if that's what you've built up in your mind. It's so much more than that, actually. like maybe back in the day the idea was on Sabbath, everyone's quiet, and, you know, children are just sitting in a chair reading their Bibles. You know, I don't know. Isn't that how? They do it in Little House on the Prairies? Yes, that's exactly what I was about to say. It might be like how traditionally some Christians practice Sabbath I don't know. you can laugh at me for knowing that this was a small tidbit in Little House in the Prairie. But that was one of the things though. They were like their kids Yeah. Laura shares in the writing about how Her and her sister were supposed to be quiet and they couldn't be loud. They couldn't they had to be in like their Sunday best, I think, because it was after church on Sunday. yeah. Yep. It was just yeah, this very solemn kind of time. Yes. And we say this all the time, but if you don't experience freedom on the Sabbath, you're doing something wrong. Like, Sabbath is a gift, it is a delight, it is a time for you to fully rest in Jesus. And I think it's just a misconception that Sabbath is just gonna be this really quiet time. Maybe if you're you know, your kids are grown and moved out of the house and you're retired and you truly are by yourself. But even in that sense, I would say that Sabbath is about community. And so as I say that, you know, we love to host on the Sabbath. We love to have people over on Friday night. And so a lot of times our kickoff, which is our rhythm where we actually begin the Sabbath, if you want to learn how we actually kick off the Sabbath, we have an episode all about that, and we'll link it in the show notes. Episode 17. 17. There you go. And so the Sabbath prep is also about serving people that We are not only just preparing our house, not to have a perfect house or to have like this clean slate, but it's to serve each other, our family. And for our family, we like to host on Friday night. So we're actually cleaning our house and we are preparing food to then serve our guests. I've really seen it as I'm preparing for the Sabbath. I'm preparing my home. I'm cleaning my home. I'm making this food for my people or my friends because I genuinely want to take care of them. And I think that makes Sabbath prepar them feel more substantial and more purposeful. That we're not just going crazy on Friday afternoon trying to like clean the house and do all these things, but we're with the mindset of it's a joy to serve people and it's a joy to serve our family and to give our family the best opportunity to experience the goodness on Sabbath. I really like what you said there. It's giving everyone the opportunity to experience the best Sabbath. That they can. And that's what the goal of preparation is all about. And it's it's just not about that perfection. Yeah. or expecting perfection out of our kids. I think there were generations, like we just shared, like Little House in the Prairie Times, where they expected their kids to be perfect on Sabbath or perfect sitting in church or perfect at the dinner table. And there's just no such thing. Sabbath reveals that actually we are not perfect, that we do have limitations. Like we serve a God who is perfect and a God who is limitless. And Sabbath helps us to realize our own limitations and imperfections. And we're creating a space where everybody gets to be themselves and where everybody gets to experience joy in a way that's meaningful to them. And that is different, especially in a family of nine. Yeah. There's not a singular way all of us experience joy equally. So true. Like for example, you like to work out and I like to lay on the couch. I mean, that's just a small example. One small example. That's great though. But like some of us love to play board games. Some of them It's pulling their teeth to bring them to the dinner table to do anything playing a game. and I think the reason we get to work together and get to pull the kids into this preparation experience is they all know that we are working hard to rest hard rest hard and that they're going to find joy in it and rest in it themselves. And so they're willing to help us prepare for that after all the years of the experience. I do find though that preparing for Sabbath is a you know, whenever you ask your kids to do stuff, it's hard. They never want to do it. But actually finding that the prep is a little easier and the rhythm of it is makes it a little more automatic, if you will, than j it's not like we're just standing there barking orders. Yeah. and driving everybody insane up the wall. After they've learned to anticipate this rhythm. I think that's the beauty of rhythms that you're getting at is that when you create a rhythm, it's not a once in a while thing or it happens every so often. that the kids just don't know what to expect. The beauty of a rhythm is that the family knows what to expect. It gets to the point where everyone just follows it like a dance. Like we just all do what we're supposed to contribute to the rhythm. We all do that. Yeah. And it does it is very nice. Like when you get into a rhythm with Sabbath prep and your family just knows, okay, from three o'clock to six o'clock on Friday, we're doing these tasks and these things. We know by six o'clock when we kick off Sabbath, we can all take a deep breath and say, you know what? We did what we wanted to get done. And now we can just like let go and enjoy. I love that moment. And I think that's what we're getting at. Is you will sit down for your kickoff and you will truly breathe a sigh of relief and know. That you did everything you could to be ready. Yeah. And you have a piece that you're ready. Can I ask you something? When was the last time you actually felt at peace? Not just productive, not just caught up, but settled. Because most of us aren't lacking desire for a slower, deeper life. We're just stuck in the busyness that keeps us rushing right past it. That's why we created the Slow and Saber Society. It's a snail mail club. Yes, it comes straight to your mailbox. It's a simple, tangible way to slow down each month. A piece of art, a cozy recipe, and a letter designed to help you reconnect with what actually matters. With God, with your family, and with your own soul. If your life has felt full but not meaningful, this is your invitation to begin again. You can learn more or join us at legacyrootsco.com/slash mailclub. And right now, if you use code podcast, you'll get 50% off your first month so you can try it out. Now back to the episode. So let's give some practical insight into what this looks like. So we're going to share with you now what our own Sabbath prep rhythm looks like. And like we always share with rhythms, we are not sharing this with you so that you can copy us. I mean, you are welcome to definitely steal our ideas, do what we do if that works for you. But we don't share this because we think you have to do it this exact way. Everyone, like you shared, about each of us take delight in different things on the Sabbath. Each of us needs to do and prepare different things to feel good on the Sabbath. And so I think that after this episode, it will be wise for you to think about what are the things that you personally need to be able to relax fully on the Sabbath. But for now, we'll just share what we do. And this is kind of what we're currently doing. And we tweak it, you know, every so often. But Yeah, so what do we what is kind of like the first thing that we try to do when we think about preparing for Sabbath? I think the first step is to finish work well. And we hit on this earlier, so I won't belabor the point, but the idea of hey, you're wrapping up the biggest time of your week, like what you spent the most time doing and what's for most of us the hardest thing to let go. as we move into a Sabbath. And so it's asking yourself the question, what do you need to do right now to allow yourself to let this go and to be free of these thoughts that come from work. Yeah. And so, you know, of course we believe that's shutting the computers down, but do you need to write out your tasks? Do you need to clean up your workspace? Shut that laptop, maybe close the office door and don't re enter that space. Whatever it is that will help you leave work behind. What about for like dads or moms who work outside of the home and they're coming home and maybe they're kicking off Sabbath shortly after getting home? how would you recommend someone to like shut off work, I guess, before they get home? Yeah, hot tip is actually think about this Friday morning. before the day even starts on your way in. Because you need to have the reality in your mind that I'm just gonna anticipate you're working an eight hour day. You have eight hours. Most of us have a to do list that is greater than those eight hours. So it's actually anticipating in the morning what do you need to have finished by the end of the day to know that you have peace to walk away. And that's not something you can ask yourself with five minutes left in the day. Yeah. Because you will have something still left on your plate and you will not be able to walk away. Totally. But if you ask yourself that in the morning, uh-huh, then you attack the day differently. And you actually can walk away with a lot more peace. I always know what needs to happen on that day. And And then I when I close it, like I'm I'm good. Like I don't have this thoughts of like somebody's gonna be mad at me over the weekend. Like somebody's gonna come look at I'm gonna wake up Monday morning with some email in my inbox about how I didn't finish something up. it will have been thought of preemptively. Yeah. Yeah, it's almost like thinking what's like a good stopping point in your work where you feel like, okay, I've gotten the most important thing done and I can release it throughout the weekend or at least until Sunday. when Sabbath is over and just identifying those most important things that you have to do on Friday to then be done. What about for the person that says, well, I technically can't turn off my work because my boss might need to call me or, you know, someone might still need to email me on the Sabbath. So I have to keep my laptop on me or I have to keep my phone on me. I can't truly like shut down my work. I would say I've known a lot of people in my career who behave in that manner. And I would say two things. First of all, that's probably a reality you've put on yourself that you just want to make yourself feel important, that you want to feel needed. And so you have either made yourself that available in the past, So it's something you have done because the second thing is most people don't actually want or expect their people to work like that over a weekend. Like they want you to to get away and take a break. the amount of research and and company corporate life changing and getting away from that kind of lifestyle is is now and thankfully very prevalent in a good way. That people are expecting, like, yeah, you gotta take some time away. Totally. And so most people are actually understanding that they shouldn't be reaching out to you on a Saturday. huh. And so if you actually just get into the rhythm of not making yourself available, now there's something to say, hey, I am not going to be available from Friday to and I'm not going to be available on Saturday. And if you really want to be a workaholic or you really have to say, but you could reach me on Sunday. I've never known somebody not to respect you putting up that boundary. Okay. It's just learning to put the boundaries in place. Yeah. And so I guess going back to the first point is that I'm saying you are allowing people to run over you and to not have a boundary. And so you've got to put the boundary up. But it's scary to do that, but people will respect you for doing that. Yeah. Because a part of a Sabbath life is that you're gonna show up the other six days of of the week. Yeah. And you're gonna be faithful the other six days of the week because you know you're not going to give anyone the seventh day. Yeah. That's good. Wow. That's really powerful. It's a hard truth. I think that it's a it's a truth that we all need to hear. That if we are basically making ourselves available 247, people are going to treat us with that mindset. Like we allow people to treat us the way they treat us. if you make yourself available 247 or all weekend long, people are just going to be like, okay, great, he's available. But if we say, you know what, I've reserved this time for my family, which I have seen you do so beautifully throughout your career, especially in a career in a corporate world where I feel like so many people do not prioritize family or do not respect people's family time, you have put your foot down and said, you know what, this is when I'm available and I'm gonna kick butt during that time and I'm gonna give my best quality work. And then when I'm done, I'm done. And if you don't have those boundaries, yeah, your Sabbath is gonna be hijacked by your coworkers and your boss. Yeah. Well, thank you for saying that. And I think that you're a hundred percent right. don't let other people hijack your time. And so you've got to put the work away. And so I think that's that really important step one. Mm-hmm. And it's that moment of being on the ship. Yeah. And decompressing. Uh-huh. And returning home ready, having processed everything you needed to. Yeah. And this for me, so my work, a lot of it is creative work that I'm doing from home. And I can very easily fall into the temptation of like, okay, I have a few more minutes. I can get another email in, or I can keep knocking more off the to-do list because the computer's right there. I'm home. I don't have to leave an office or anything. And so for me personally, it really helps for me to close my laptop and put my laptop away. And I actually have an app on my phone that will shut down. all of my social media apps, my email, any work related app, it like shuts them down when Sabbath begins. And it actually goes all the way through Sabbath. So I have zero access or temptation to even work. There's no work I can do because I have no ability to access my work. I think that's been a great strategy for someone like you who doesn't always feel like you have the separation of work and home and kids and all those things. Like everything is so intermingled. Yeah. And so it's hard to let any one piece go. Yeah. Yeah. One practice I've done too is because you get to Sabbath kickoff and you realize you look at your to-do list and you're like, there's still so many things on this to do list that I wish I would have gotten to And I just say a prayer. And I simply just say, Lord, I've I've given you my best. And I'm I'm surrendering now to your your gift of Sabbath. And I'm just gonna trust that what I didn't get done, that that's okay. And that's been my own personal practice before we kick off Sabbath is that I just look at my to do list and it's my way of acknowledging. my limitations and I just say it's okay. it's okay that I still have a to do list going into Sabbath because I can trust that He's going to be able to accomplish anything I couldn't have accomplished. So I think that's really beautifully said. I'd love for you to share with us then about resetting the home. Mm-hmm. Yeah, because this is probably an area that I take on A little bit more. You are very helpful too with this when you get done with work. But the kids and I really kind of rally for resetting the home. Well, and usually it's within the last hour of my work day. Yeah. So I try to help when I'm finished, but there's definitely things that start rolling before I'm wrapped up for the day. Yeah. And I I would say that my mindset when it comes to resetting the home for Sabbath is simply How can we create a peaceful environment for us on the Sabbath? would say I lean a really heavily into the other six days of the week, the rhythms that I have for taking care of the home, so that I'm not stressed, you know, the few hours that we're preparing for Sabbath. I, for example, do not do meal planning, grocery shopping. I don't do any of our laundry. I'm not doing any like significant deep cleaning. Those things are all different rhythms I have sprinkled throughout the week. But what we do do before Sabbath, the kids and I do a quick tidy of the whole house. The kids are all responsible for their rooms. So I make sure that their kids' bedrooms, they have done a good job of straining those up. Like you can walk through them. You can walk through them, you can vacuum them. There's not enough Small toys on the floor that foot on every Lego with every step. Yeah, we're not looking for perfection here. But yeah, like clean, tidy rooms. the kids who the so the boys have their own bathroom and the girls each have their own bathroom. So I have the kids deep clean their own bathroom, which I'm so grateful for because I don't want to clean three bathrooms before we kick off Sabbath. And I think it's really good for them to take ownership of those. spaces. And then we all work together on the living room in the kitchen. We do some very light cleaning, like vacuuming, sweeping the floors, just making sure the house looks tidy and neat. especially if we're having guests. I want our guests to feel comfortable in a nice clean space. And then the biggest thing is really just getting ready for the meals, which is the third thing that we prepare for a Sabbath. So just sure of you, we prepare getting our work done, we prepare the home, and then we prepare meals. And my kids all have been in the kitchen with me since they were, you know, basically walking. And so the beauty in raising up your kids in the kitchen is that they can help you with your meal prep. And yeah, they always want to. They always want to. I think that's probably one of their favorite parts about the Sabbath prep rhythm. And if we don't have guests coming, then it's usually very simple. Like we'll have maybe something on the grill with a few sides. I've even been known to just do something like a rotisserie chicken with a Caesar salad kit and like Bob Evan mashed potatoes. Those mac and cheese too. Yeah, like things you could easily heat up in the microwave or throw in a bowl and just toss the salad. It doesn't have to be a fancy meal. But I mean, preparing to host people can be a lot of work. And so part of your Sabbath prep rhythm can be preparing the food for that gathering. And I think just thinking ahead. So if for example, you're not gonna be grocery shopping and meal planning. For right before Sabbath, you still need to think about okay, what are we gonna have for Sabbath lunch? What are we gonna have for our dinners? So that way you're not running to the store mid-Sabbath because you don't know what to eat. It would be better to run quickly at five o'clock on Friday than to run at eleven. The next day. Yeah. You wish you were just chilling. Uh-huh. And instead you're running to the store again. Yeah. I will say, one nice meal that I enjoyed making for the fall in the winter time was making a large pot of soup, like Wednesday or Thursday. And then we would reheat the leftovers for Sabbath lunch. Ooh. And I loved that because it was so easy. It was already done. You know, the flavors like mingled for a couple of days, so it was even tastier. But it's one of those things where you get a nice home cooked meal, but you didn't have to make it on the Sabbath. That's very strategic of you. Yeah. I like to think strategically about meals, especially when it comes to sweets on the Sabbath. You're good with remembering the sweets. Yes. I just think that meal planning is a pretty significant part of the Sabbath prep rhythm because if you don't plan your meals for Sabbath, you are going to struggle. I mean, you and I, we love to eat well on the Sabbath. That's like a delight. And we definitely don't want to be spending a hundred bucks to go out to dinner all the time. That's like a treat to go out to dinner. So I think preparing and knowing, okay, are we gonna do grilled cheese, or we're gonna do BLTs, or thinking of easy meals that you can either prep the day before or just like the day of would be so simple. basically by the time we're done prepping the food, we have gotten to the end of our Sabbath prep rhythm and we are getting ready to just kick off the Sabbath, which is our time of entering into the Sabbath more formally. And you can, like we said, listen to that our Sabbath kickoff rhythm on episode 17. A few other tips we have would be thinking about communication. So telling certain people if you're not going to be reachable. certain family members may expect or want something. Maybe you have friends that want or expect something. they're used to you picking up your phone all the time, for instance. Letting them know like, hey, my phone's gonna be put away. Like anything like that that you need to communicate out is great. Do you need to put in an out of office on your email? Do you need to just understand like, hey, here's delayed responses. that communication, it really helped us set expectations with the people that we love and cared about around us and helped them understand this is what we're doing. Yeah. So it wasn't because we were trying to ignore like our loved ones. It's truly because we just want to break from our phone. we don't want to feel like we're just at the beckoning call of the the text message. And we've just gotten into a place in our society where people just expect instant responses. And that is just not healthy. I laugh when anytime somebody says, sorry, I haven't gotten back to you. And it's like five minutes. Like what are you talking about? I sent you a text message like It's not like I called you 50 times or something like that. So true. Isn't it funny though, like how I mean, back in the day, people had the phone tied to the wall. So unless you were home to answer the phone, you couldn't get a hold of people. And now we think we can just get a hold of people whenever we want. And so I think that it does kind of retrain our brains a little bit with Sabbath because some of us freak out if we see text messages come through and we can't respond right away. I'm not that person. I'm like the worst texter ever. I'm very much like I can respond. There's like hundreds of people in your inbox waiting for a response right now. No, I would say I'm good about 24 hours. That's my rule. Like can I get back to them in 24 hours? And that's Sabbath. Like Sabbath is 24 hours. So for me, I'm totally fine. people messaging me and I in my brain think, okay, I will respond in 24 hours. I think that's been really great. And all this kind of leads us to our next point about preparing your technology. I think you have really helped me in this area, but you've already talked about like how can we turn off the notifications, the apps, like your even your access to certain things if you need to. but even just silencing your phone, you know, the rings, the dings and the zings, as I like to call it, if you have them on during the week, can you turn them off on Saturday? Almost every program now even lets you pick what days of the week they are on and what days of the week they're off. No zinging on Sabbath. So you could just set it and be done with it. And you don't even have to try to remember that. That's a good but all the technology in our lives are working. Wonderful. We are not anti technology in the least bit. But the rings, the zings, and the dings just pull your brain in another direction. It's so true. Right? Like you're thinking about the zings right now. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, I think about even how many people have notifications on like their lock screen. I haven't had notifications for so many years now that it honestly It's shocking to me when someone has like a text message come through on their phone, like on the front of their phone. I'm like, what is that? that's so distracting. And because I've been so removed from that. and so I can imagine if people don't change their notification habits on the Sabbath, you're still being distracted every single time your phone goes off or a a message or notification pops up on the front of your phone. And so we're big fans of just putting our phones away on the Sabbath and just being totally, phone free on the Sabbath. But if you can't be totally phone free, I do think limiting your notifications is a really wise decision as a modern day Christian. something to think about when you're thinking about your own Sabbath prep rhythm. Is it's not just about cleaning, it's not just about food. It's also thinking about the technology usage. Like, you know, people a thousand years ago didn't have to think about this kind of thing. But as a modern day believer, we really do have to think about that. But I like what you said about just communicating that out. Like if you're truly gonna put your phone away for the day, and you normally are someone who's very responsive. You might freak out some people if you just disappear for a day. So it might be important for you to tell your friends and your family, like, hey, just so you know, if you message me on Saturday, I'll always get back to you on Sunday, but I probably won't respond right away. And that you will be surprised how many people will begin to respect that. Like we hardly get any messages anymore on Saturdays because I think people just know like they can't get a hold of us anyways. all of this, the most beautiful thing is this final moment that we want to encourage you to have, which is creating anticipation, ending all of this with a kickoff. A moment that marks your entering into the Sabbath. I know we talked about this earlier, but yes, go back and check out episode seventeen about how we kick off the Sabbath and do this. But it's little things like light a candle. sitting down for that special dinner together. Maybe you take communion as a family, or it's a moment where you do a a significant prayer, or singing the doxology, having dessert, whatever it is for you and your family, but there's something about skipping this moment that makes you feel like you never arrive. Mm-hmm. And you don't want that. Mm-hmm. You wanna feel like you're done. Breathe, enter. It marks the moment because preparing for Sabbath is already you're doing a lot. you're not resting when you're preparing for Sabbath. You're still in work mode. So you almost do need that final moment that says, Okay, the work is done now. No more preparing. You get to rest. Like the thing you've been preparing for, you get to now partake in and let go of the work. Stop all your work and just enjoy. And unless you have that moment, you could be preparing for Sabbath for your whole Sabbath. And then Sabbath passes you by and you're like, wait, I didn't even rest. I just prepared the whole time. That would be that would be the absolute worst. Yeah. And so one thing that we want to leave you with is start small. Don't feel like if you haven't been preparing for Sabbath or you want to start preparing better, aiming for like this. Perfect perfectionist rhythm rhythm will feel a little overwhelming. Start with one simple thing. What's one change? If this one thing was intentionally done before I entered into the Sabbath, how would I feel more peaceful? What would be the biggest bang for your buck? Yeah. Find that one thing. And intentionally do it as a preparation for your Sabbath. Yes, some examples could be buying your groceries before your Sabbath begins, or maybe making a meal plan. maybe it's folding the laundry, so the laundry is all folded and put away. perhaps it's just closing your laptop or shutting down your phone. Maybe you're like, in order to have a peaceful Sabbath, I want just a really peaceful, clean bedroom space. Yeah, like what if you don't want to wake up and stare at laundry or a messy bathroom? Like that's not the way you may want to start Saturday morning. Totally. But if you're also wondering, like, okay, this is all great and dandy, but we haven't really even been Sabbathing consistently, but we kind of want to start Sabbathing. We just don't know what to do on the Sabbath. We have created a free guide called the 101 Things to Do on the Sabbath. So you can have no excuses on doing something on the Sabbath. It's a full guide of simple ideas for individuals. Couples, families, anybody to help you move from simply not working to actually delighting in the day. And you can download that using the link in today's show notes. So that's it. What is the one thing? That most often steals your peace on the Sabbath. And maybe for those of you who aren't currently practicing the Sabbath, perhaps there's something that's keeping you from even entering into Sabbath at all. And so we want you to identify like what is that one thing that most often steals your peace on the Sabbath? And then ask yourself, what one rhythm could you build this week? To remove that obstacle before the Sabbath begins. Don't try to change everything this week. We're big fans of just taking the next right baby step. just remove that one obstacle. And you can build this over time. we have been practicing Sabbath for a decade, and we have been tweaking our rhythms all along the way. So, what you hear today is our chapter 10. Don't compare it to your chapter one. that's good. I like that, babe. Sabbath begins long before the Sabbath begins. A hundred percent agreed. The rest you experience tomorrow is often shaped by the rhythms you practice today. Preparation is not a burden, it's an invitation. An invitation to let go, to trust God, to stop striving and to receive the gift he's been offering all along. So if this episode encouraged you, we'd love for you to share it with a friend who's always wanted to practice the Sabbath but doesn't know where to begin. And if you haven't already, we'd be so grateful if you leave a review. It helps more families discover the Rooted Family podcast. So thanks for joining us today. We'll see you again next week. Bye now.