Latest / Voices for Voices® / Fear of Being Forgotten When Nobody Comes | Episode 476

Transcript

Fear of Being Forgotten When Nobody Comes | Episode 476 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hey everyone, it's Justin here.
• 0:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for joining us on another show.
• 0:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: TV Show and Podcasts are coming to you live here on Instagram Live.
• 0:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we have our our buddy, our pal Lucy with us.
• 0:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so you'll see her uh moving around.
• 0:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah, she's the the best watch dog.
• 0:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and uh so cool.
• 0:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so thank you for joining us, whether you watch, whether you listen, uh whether this is your first show or you've been following us from the beginning.
• 0:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're grateful to have you with us.
• 0:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, if you can give us the big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share.
• 0:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh if you can follow us on social media, we're everywhere.
• 0:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Voices for Voices.
• 0:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're built on uh the uh the the pillars and foundation of mental health, mental challenges, uh trauma, traumatic brain injury, uh recovery.
• 1:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I started this organization, Voices for Voices, after my own uh say kickoff to my mental illnesses, so uh they don't go away.
• 1:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh just try to manage them the best we can.
• 1:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um and and so that's uh why we're here.
• 1:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're here to help people.
• 1:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh we're helping a lot, we've already helped a lot, and uh we uh could uh use a little bit of free help, just like reaching out and uh to maybe 25, 50, 100 of your contacts in your uh in your phone, let them know about the voices, voices for voices TV show and podcast.
• 2:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'd love to have you, love to have them join us.
• 2:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh we're over 470 episodes of the show.
• 2:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we are making it happen.
• 2:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We are for those who don't know, we're a nonprofit, so we are a 501c3 nonprofit charity organization.
• 2:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Say that real fast a couple times.
• 2:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so any donation at lovevoices.org, lovevoices.org, lovevoices.org, or on Venmo or Cash App is 100% tax deductible here in the United States.
• 2:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're reaching people all over the world.
• 2:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So tax check with your tax preparer uh and let them know.
• 2:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And uh, I'm not sure uh again, country to country, uh what uh what that looks like, uh, but we are full-blown charity.
• 3:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh we operate as a business, and we're grateful to have you with us.
• 3:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So it's the day after uh we're filming this the day after uh Easter, and so there's a lot of you know family time getting together.
• 3:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh hopefully you were able to.
• 3:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if you don't celebrate, hopefully you're able to uh just have some time uh away from potentially work and away from school and and just be able to spend some time with loved ones.
• 3:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and as I was doing that kind of in between uh visits, I guess, you know, to to families for uh celebrating Easter.
• 4:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh as you may know, uh if you've been following us, and you may not know if you haven't, uh then my dad passed away on March 1st of 2024, had this turbo cancer.
• 4:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Look up other episodes.
• 4:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's a lot of episodes that I share and talk about this.
• 4:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I'm gonna try not to talk about my dad as as specific on this show because I want to talk about what I saw and what I learned uh while being at the cemetery to visit my dad.
• 4:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so while that part is clearly about my my dad, you know, stopping to to visit, pay my respects, uh, say some prayers, uh play his favorite song uh for him, for me.
• 5:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was a very emotional time, as it always is.
• 5:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um before I got out of the out of my car to go over to pay my bucks uh where where my dad's at and his head his headstone and uh the just vibrant flowers uh that my mom always has picked out and rotates through and across.
• 5:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And again, you don't have to be a believer uh to be a part of the voices for voices movement.
• 5:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um I am, we are, so we'll talk about that, you know, from time to time.
• 5:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But you don't have to be a believer to have uh interest in voices for voices, let's put it that way.
• 6:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So yeah, before I was getting before I got out of the car, I you know, you know, put the car and park, I'd be selling music off, windows up, and just start to, you know, gather my try to gather myself with which isn't exactly easy to do.
• 6:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh it's not easy to do.
• 6:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh it it just isn't.
• 6:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I'm an emotional type of person, and when I focus, which I try to do as much as I can, is to focus on the good times, the the times we spent together, and there's so many great fun learning times from my dad, you know, even even tying into getting this organization started, yeah, he was he was part of getting me an ambulance to take me to the hospital where I ended up there for five days, impatient, and while it was what felt like my worst time, it also was the best time uh because of what has transpired since since then.
• 7:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've been able to live a lot better quality of life, even though I obviously nobody's perfect.
• 7:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So let's get back to the because I can I can go on the tangent, as you know.
• 7:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so as I was sitting collecting my thoughts, reflecting on my dad, and you know, it with Easter being a holiday, you know, he would be with us.
• 8:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh you know, we would go to my mom and dad's and we would celebrate Easter and you know, time together and all the all the things that go go with it.
• 8:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I'm sitting there at the at the cemetery, collecting my thoughts, and it's what we just turned the calendar a few days ago to April.
• 8:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So it's April.
• 8:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We've had here where I live, we've had days in the 70s, I think we even touched 80 uh a day or two ago, and now we're at 49 degrees and getting down into the 30s at at night.
• 8:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So fluctuations, you know, we've talked about the seasonal effective disorder and all that with me.
• 8:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh but anyway, so it was a it was a cooler day, uh, and and and so I I I was collecting my thoughts and you know, zip zipping up my coat, and I I was just looking looking around the cemetery.
• 9:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And there were headstones everywhere.
• 9:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There was memorials, uh there were memorials in different fashions.
• 9:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thurman Munson uh used to play professional baseball, I think, for the New York Yankees.
• 9:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: His uh his memorial was huge, and it's it actually faces kind of like right across uh the the driveway from where my dad is is laid to rest.
• 9:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so, you know, looking around, I said I see that, and then I see all just so many, you know, you just some have flowers, some I would say some have flowers, and a majority of them don't.
• 10:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that's what I want to talk about a little bit on this show.
• 10:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I'm not here to talk about if you have loved ones that have passed away, that you have to change flowers and you have to always go to the cemetery on this regimen.
• 10:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's not what this is about.
• 10:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is just about like the mental health of those individuals.
• 10:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yes, they've passed some a long time ago, like a real long time ago, lots of years.
• 10:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I was struck more this past visit to the the cemetery than I had been in the past.
• 11:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe I was before I just wasn't ready to kind of talk about it, uh, in a public way.
• 11:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and so I I I couldn't help but think how alone those those individuals may have been in their final days.
• 11:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe some were some passed suddenly, you know, unexpectedly.
• 11:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so if if that happens, then I don't know that I I don't I don't know how the process goes, right?
• 11:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If somebody passes unexpectedly, if there's not a headstone, if there's not a cemetery, and there's you know, everything costs money.
• 12:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I'm just I'm just taking all this in and I again I'm noticing, you know, very few headstones have flowers or a cross or some type of uh some some type of something that, you know, goes into, you know, kind of the the vase, the the vase, the the flowers or other uh other things could could go into uh I know some that uh you know when it's we talk about veterans, that's where they put the flags in.
• 12:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that cemetery looks full to me and just shows that that those times when they when they do put the the again, I live in the United States of America, uh, so I'm sure it's the same one in your home country.
• 13:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If if you're joining us, which thank you so much for joining us.
• 13:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're we have a big goal to reach and help three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond, and it's because of you it's helping us, it's got us this far.
• 13:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much.
• 13:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I kind of contrast those two because time, periods, and and and time, where the one the cemetery looks so barren, so empty.
• 13:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Again, flowers here and there, it's uh catching my eye.
• 14:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Again, this isn't knocking on anybody.
• 14:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was just I I was just taking in what I was seeing yet yesterday more than what I had before, and I guess I just have this opportunity to to talk about it and and share soon after today, like today, like I'm doing.
• 14:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and and it just made me like extra sad because I know that with my dad I know my mom my mom visits him every day, every single day.
• 14:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Doesn't mess.
• 14:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, if there's a foot of snow, she's trying to get there uh to to visit.
• 14:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Sometimes she'll stay in the car so she doesn't right, 'cause if the weather is icy, we we don't want we don't want her to slip at all, anybody to slip.
• 15:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I I just think about those and there's so many and and this this really gets me because time doesn't stand still.
• 15:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, there's some times where we want time to stand still, right?
• 15:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like like getting married, we we want time to we want time to stand still.
• 15:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh vacation, we want time to stand still.
• 15:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When we're maybe attending a concert or a ball game or a play or a movie uh or other other events, other experiences where we we wanna we want time to stand still.
• 16:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean just slowing down.
• 16:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But what we learn at a certain age, I don't know what age that is, but at some point we learn that time doesn't stand still and it keeps moving.
• 16:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that's what those the majority of those headstones at the cemetery represented to me is Man, time doesn't stand still Like yeah, I I would have loved to have seen just all kinds of flowers, all kinds of uh memorials But again, it it's not about me.
• 16:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is more just about more what I saw and what I heard.
• 17:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I look over and I see my dad they had this vase and had just like the most beautiful flowers and so vibrant and then I look you know to the right, to the left, behind, and nothing.
• 17:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that's just in a very s very small sample area.
• 17:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Again, maybe everybody in the family has passed on to heaven.
• 17:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe maybe they live out of the area.
• 17:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I I don't I don't know.
• 17:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It just made me extra emotional and sad to take that in and to see and just wonder from the mental health standpoint of man.
• 18:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I know though I know those individuals in heaven, they're not taking any of that personal.
• 18:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if their relatives are alive, I guess.
• 18:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What I'd like to kind of conclude this episode and and the show on is almost kind of like a prayer that some of us, not all of us, but some of us have had family members, loved ones, co-workers pass away.
• 18:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I guess I would I would pray that it if you're able to, and again, I was there at a a given point in time too.
• 19:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so maybe I I I missed a busy time.
• 19:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I I don't know.
• 19:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I just got extra sad.
• 19:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And not that flowers have to be a symbol of, oh well this person, this family cares more than others.
• 19:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's not the case at all.
• 19:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It just struck a chord in my with me and my mental health of just f being forgotten, being afraid.
• 19:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, that when we leave this earth, we can't take things with us, we can't take possessions, and we've talked about this on other shows.
• 19:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I'll leave that right there.
• 19:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I guess uh, you know, the the the prayer or the thought, if you're able to and you have a loved one and you're near or you're gonna be traveling and you're gonna be near the cemetery, man.
• 20:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe maybe stop by.
• 20:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe stop by, even if it's just for a minute.
• 20:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It just really got me from the mental health side, like, oh my gosh.
• 20:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is gonna be me someday.
• 20:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I prayed that I'm going to heaven and then I prayed it my loved ones will wanna visit me and say a prayer.
• 20:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um and so I think that's really where where this kind of kinda wound up for me on that visit to the cemetery is man you know these these people they're we hope they're in heaven and spend a minute, five minutes, ten minutes, what any any time.
• 21:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're even just even just thinking about them again I'm not I'm not doing this and trying to compare it.
• 21:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm I'm just going straight up on a motion of kind of like a three second.
• 22:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 60, like I'm seeing this, and then it's reflecting back onto me.
• 22:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Go on, oh my gosh, Justin.
• 22:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So say a prayer, a thought.
• 22:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let the people that you're you were close to or in your family.
• 22:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Just let them know that they got they have somebody thinking about them.
• 22:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if you're able to, sometime, someday, maybe stop by.
• 22:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's another free thing to do.
• 22:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So thank you for watching this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcasts.
• 22:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is Justin Allen Hayes, as always.
• 23:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Again, follow us on socials.
• 23:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Obviously here, Instagram.
• 23:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But we're everywhere.
• 23:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if you can give us those big thumbs up, like follow, subscribe, share, and uh, you know, the word of mouth, we're reaching out to 25 or 50 of the contacts you have in your phone.
• 23:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let them know about the voices for voices, TV show and podcast.
• 23:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let them know we're we're trying to help and be there for a whole host of people.
• 23:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We already have, we already are, but with your help, we can we can help and reach more.
• 23:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So thank you very much, and we'll see you on the next episode of the show.
• 24:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's celebrate the voices of everybody, and let's be a voice for not only ourselves, but those who aren't able to share their voice, especially those who have gone before us.
• 24:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'll see you later.
• 24:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much.