Latest / The Elsa Kurt Show / When Cancer Meets Grace: Faith, Illness, And The Quiet Work Of Renewal with Heather Fairfax

Transcript

When Cancer Meets Grace: Faith, Illness, And The Quiet Work Of Renewal with Heather Fairfax · The Elsa Kurt Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Every conversation tells a story, and the best ones begin with honesty, courage, and a little curiosity.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's where Elsa Kurt comes in.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: She's an author, podcaster, and independent media personality, and this is where she brings real life to the table.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Authors, thinkers, creators, leaders, everyday folks with extraordinary journeys.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: We sit down, we dig in, and we talk about what matters, what's messy, what's beautiful, and what just might inspire you to look at the world a little differently.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: So pour a cup of something good.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Settle back and join me.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: This is Elsa Kurt Interviews, where truth has a seat and everyone's welcome.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_03: Well, hello everyone, and hello to my guest, Heather Fairfax.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's so nice to meet you.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for joining me today.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you so much.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_05: It's good to be here.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_04: Awesome.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_04: So we are going to have such a fun chat.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_04: I am so excited to learn all about your book, but I want our viewers and our listeners to hear a little bit about what we're going to be talking about.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_04: So we're going to hang on just a moment and watch this all together, guys.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: When life fractures under the weight of illness, faith is often tested not in the loud moments, but in the quiet ones.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: In When Cancer Meets Grace, Heather Fairfax invites us into those sacred unseen spaces where fear and faith sit side by side.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: This is not a story of perfect strength or tidy answers.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: It is a story of companionship, of grace showing up in hospital rooms long nights, and the slow work of renewal.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: For anyone walking through suffering, caregiving, or spiritual exhaustion, this book is a gentle reminder that you are not alone and grace has not left you.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_04: Heather, I already know that this book means so much, of course, to you and to anyone who has lived this, who's living through this experience right now.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and it's such an important, honest, open conversation to have, isn't it?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, absolutely.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my goodness.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, could you do me a favor?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_04: I love for our viewers and our listeners to get to know um my guest, our guest, uh a little bit.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_04: Can you tell us a little bit about you, like who you were before cancer entered your life?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_05: There's a lot there.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_05: Um, you know, I felt like I was a very fortunate person.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_05: Um life has been very interesting to me in that, and I have been able to live some wonderful dreams.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_05: And um, before I learned of my diagnosis, I was in mental health as a manager of behavioral health for the military.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_05: And um, it was very affirming.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_05: Um, our organization did not get the contract um to continue, and it was in this time, you know, as we were shutting down, they were saying, you know, I was like, okay, I need to get all my doctor's appointments and and um done before everything is closed down.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_05: And um, so that was I wasn't feeling sick or anything, I just wanted to get my stuff done.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_05: And I was supposed to do a um mammogram at the end of the year, and I thought I'm just gonna push it up.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_05: But sometimes when you don't experience or expect something, um, the unexpected happened.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_05: So I was going along in my my um, you know, just the to do the appointment, and uh then they said, Oh, well, we want to do something else, and it was happening in rapid succession.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, I know, and in this healthcare field, that's not good.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_05: But um, so eventually um I got within a week, I got the diagnosis um that I had cancer, and I was surprised because I did not expect it.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_05: I was I was at the top of my game, and um and so you know, sometimes when we hear something devastating, we kind of shut down.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_05: And so I was able to do that because I had to get my daughter to um a program, a Disney program.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_05: Um I was like, okay, you're gonna have to give me three weeks because I have to get her there.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_05: I've got to go to Disney World, get her there, and um, I'll I'll think about this later.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_05: And so that's how I kind of avoided getting the full impact of the cancer diagnosis.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and so, you know, also part of what I did in addition to that was I was a therapist.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_05: I am a therapist.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_05: And so when as a therapist you get something like that, you have to think, okay, I have been talking to people for years about overcoming, and um, can I live my own truth that I give to people?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_05: And so that that was it.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_05: I was surprised.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_05: I already had MS, if you can believe that, and that God is faithful to me.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_05: I never felt like I was at in danger of dying, but cancer is different.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_05: Cancer is different that when you get there, you're wondering, okay, what will it be?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_05: And um at first I was okay because when I finally got to my team, they said, Oh, well, you got stage two, and we're gonna treat with intent to cure.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, I can take, you know, my my faith says, I can do this, Lord.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_05: You taught me, you took me through MS, and you're telling me stage two, and they're going to treat me, and I'm gonna get better, and very good, God.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_05: I can handle that.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_05: But then they had to do more tests, and they did a PET scan, and they found that it had traveled.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_05: So I went from stage two to stage four in a minute.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_06: Wow.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_04: And um God's a lot of information to process, and I know this is how it happens so often that you get this first diagnosis, you go into almost denial, right?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_04: Like, oh, you know, you kind of like you do the compartmentalizing.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_04: You you go, okay, I'm gonna put this right here, just like you did, right?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna put this right here because I have all of these other things going on and I have to deal with these things.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm gonna set this aside.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_04: And you kind of didn't get that opportunity to even do that because everything was so fast, right?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_04: Right, you got that's a lot to process in a very short time.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_04: And then you have to make all the plans, right?
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_04: All of the uh just all of those life adjustments.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_04: And I feel for it, and and I'm you know fortunate to have not experienced that as of yet.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, who knows?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_04: Life, you know, is what it is.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but I I try and put myself in that position mentally to try and think about how you even can process all of that.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_04: And then you, with your your background, um, wow, to be on the other side of that had to be so jarring for you.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_05: And then um within a a week or two of my first um chemotherapy treatment, I got sick and ended up in the hospital for almost a month.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_05: Oh and um that was very humbling.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_05: That was very God really met me there.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_05: But to there is something about it's a humbling experience to be in the hospital.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_05: And then if things are not going well, I couldn't eat.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I had COVID, got COVID right before.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_05: So nobody everybody had to be in gear when they came into my room.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_05: And so um it allowed me to understand and to experience what um we who go through cancer, there there are levels of devastation to it.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_05: And um, that was a very devastating time.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_05: I was God met me in that I had a piece, but I could not explain to you how I had it other than God.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_05: But it was a very difficult journey to be in the hospital um with IVs, and I eventually had to do an NG tube because I couldn't eat anything, and and then I had to go to a rehab, and that was like going to a nursing home or in that rehab setting.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_05: Those were very um difficult experiences, but I learned so much in them and found that God just met me in the midst of.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_04: So I learned I like the way that you phrase that, and and uh that resonates to me, that it's humbling to go through that experience because you're you know, it's very clear that you are a caretaker, like you are someone who takes care of other people, who helps you're a helper, you help other people, and then you're in the position where you're the one that needs the help and needs the caretaking.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_04: That had to be difficult to allow yourself to be in that position or no.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_04: Did you find just with your faith, with your trust in God?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_04: Um, do you think that's what made you able to just say, okay, okay, God, I'm just gonna do the things that you tell me to do here and accept the things you tell me to accept?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, what kind of struggle was that for you if at all?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_05: Um you know, being in the hospital when being on my back, I was like, all I could do was exist.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_05: You know, um, my the ultimate thing for me in eating was ice chips.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_05: That's all I could get, right?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_05: Because I had to be um fed through the tube.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_05: And then I uh because of my MS, I was bedridden.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_05: So I could not get up and walk around.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so I was down, and it was it was taking me from everything I knew or how to go about it to okay, God, I you're gonna have to tell me or help me to see a different way um of doing this.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_05: And it didn't come all at once.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_05: Um but what um what amazed me was the little things that grounded me um in the journey.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_05: It was in my hospital bed looking out and it was fall, and the leaves were turning, and I was like, oh, that's beautiful.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_05: The hospital room, because I guess because of the COVID, I only I was the only one in there.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_05: So I had control over what I could hear.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and I I kept it calm.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_05: And um, I listened to a lot of music.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_05: So it's those little things that help.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_05: But I couldn't get up, I couldn't, I couldn't bathe myself.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_05: I I couldn't, it was pretty, pretty devastating.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and and you know, and just listening to to your your faith and your trust in God, um I I feel like it's gotta be just almost the only way, not almost, really truly the only way to um get through such a harrowing, difficult experience um without falling into or staying in in a state of despair.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, because it would be so easy, so easy to go into that mode, that depression, um, you know, uh fear, uncertainty, because you don't know what the outcome is going to be.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_04: And and I think that's why um, you know, believers uh turn turn to God and turn to our faith like that, because when when everything uh worldly feels impossible, it's it's like the only thing you can grab onto that you know is constant and steady.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_04: And even if you don't understand it, right?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_04: Like why this is happening.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_04: Did you go through the the why me's or or any of that?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_05: Um I was blessed with the why me's.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_05: Um I what I did do was, you know, the Bible says to be anxious for nothing but in everything.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_05: So I just kind of put, um, did was I anxious from time to time?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_05: What I felt most was like things like the IVs.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_05: I had a horrible time with IVs.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_05: And um, they had to eventually use my port to get blood tests, you know, and then um I think I was so focused on trying to figure out how to get back to my former state that it kind of allowed me to kind of not focus on the devastation.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_05: And I think too, the fact that I had gone through MS ahead of time, which could have which is also another devastating uh chronic disease.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_05: I had learned a lot about trust in dealing with that, that I could bring over, but that did not there's something about cancer that I did not feel with MS.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_05: With MS, I thought you just have to get a good treatment.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_05: They've done enough work, it's got to be good treatment.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_05: But when you have stage four cancer, then you're like, you know, this, you know, this has the promise of either I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, and I'm walking through this this thing, and I don't know where I'm gonna end up.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_05: But I was fortunate not to feel, and that was just probably where the the whole aspect of grace came in, that I looked at it and I personified grace as an actual person walking or as a metaphor of understanding that God is with you through his grace, um, no matter what you go through.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_05: And I had to change the way I thought about grace and and what healing looked like, it became very different from what I had thought.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_05: You know, at the beginning, I was like, well, everybody's gonna pray for me and we're gonna pray this cancer out of my body.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_05: That's what I was thinking it would be at first.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_05: But then as time goes by and you're doing the day by day, you're you're going to your treatments, you're doing the chemo, you're doing the doctor's appointments, um you realize that you have to have a little bit different view of how you're going to walk through that change.
• 14:32
  unknown: Yeah.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_04: I that makes sense to me.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_04: I get I I get that because the the idea of the lived experience is one thing, but the lived experience of it is a whole other.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_04: Like we can talk about how we want to go through something and how we hope to go through something, but when you're actually going through it, you have to put it into action, right?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_04: Which is and you're you're talking about existing with physical pain, um, emotional fear, all of those things.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_04: And so to be able to do that, you know, I turn into the biggest wimp when uh I I'm sick, you know, when I'm healthy and feeling wonderful, I'm all full.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_04: And I think I I think I might speak for a lot of people when I say that.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_04: Like it's so easy to praise and and thank God uh and feel blessed when everything is good.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_04: And it really struck me when you said, even in the midst of all this, you were blessed.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_04: And and I think that's so powerful, so profound to not just say, but to feel in those moments.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_04: And and I can only pray that if I'm ever faced with you know what you've gone through, um, I I just pray that that I have that same perspective.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_04: And I strongly suspect, I haven't read it yet, I'll be honest, but I strongly suspect that your book is one heck of a lesson in that.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_05: So um just well, in the book, I I didn't want to come at it from I'm on the other side.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_05: Sure.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_05: And I didn't write it because I'm only in my second year of treatment.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_05: I wanted to read, I wanted to write it from the perspective of I'm in the middle of this trying to figure it out, you know, and um, you know, I'm not by myself.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I remember calling a friend that I hadn't seen in a while, or we kind of connect, connected on Facebook, and um I said, you know, she said, Well, how are you doing?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_05: And I said, Well, I just learned I had cancer.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_05: And then she shared her story of cancer.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_05: And when she did, hers, you know, it was brain cancer.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, What if I had to do that?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_05: And I don't know.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_05: And just listening to her story, I it gave me strength because to me her faith far exceeded mine because she had terminal brain cancer.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_05: Oh wow.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_05: But the beauty of it is she's still here and God is still working, and she's she should, you know, she's past her that you know, past the time.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_05: But she's still here and she's still fighting.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_05: And um, I'm amazed by that.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm thinking, if she can do it, you know, it's those people that we walk alongside of.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_05: But what I didn't want to do was to make it sound like, oh, we just need to pray, and then if we all do this, it's going to be okay.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_05: It's that's not how it is.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_05: We kind of go forward to putting one foot in front of the other, regardless of the day and whatever we have to face that day.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_04: What an important statement, too, that you made.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_04: And I really didn't realize this that you know, your your book is written in the perspective of somebody in it, going through it.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_04: And we so often read and see books that are, you know, the survivor stories.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_04: I got through it, I'm good, everything is great now, you can get there too.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but I I think the the raw honesty um of someone who is in it resonates so much with people who are also in it or about to, you know, just getting that diagnosis and and wanting the truth, like wanting the truth of what it's going to be like because people will tell you, you're gonna be fine, just pray and just do this and eat really healthy and drink water and you know, they they give all of those um platitudes, I guess, that that we tend to give because we don't know what else to say and we don't know what else to do.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but but this is such a a powerful, important book for people to read who are in it.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_04: And I would even say for people who are um caretakers of somebody, probably just as much, right?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_04: If maybe even more, I don't know, but for somebody who is um, you know, uh who loves somebody who's going through this right now, you you kind of get that um more not just sympathetic um understanding, but an empathetic understanding really, like, oh, this is what it is, this is how it is.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you're right.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_05: And um in that for and it is for caregivers, because even when I'm responding to my you know, my friend, sometimes I don't know what to say.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_05: Sure.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_05: And all I can do is be present, and that is what I would say to anybody.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_05: The important thing is being there, yeah, and um and not forgetting who you are.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_05: Um so part of the book too was I have four vignettes of stories, and um there's a main character, it's almost like a family, but there's a main character in there called Grace.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_05: And I wanted to put Grace in different ways for people to connect with.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but this is a person whose grace and Grace is a cancer, breast cancer survivor.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_05: So she and you have the these families that are just going through, and what I like about it is a story, it's a vignette.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_05: And in those stories, you're seeing the different things that people that we go through for us who have cancer, you know, the calendars and putting down the doctor's appointments.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but one of the things I try to do through the vignettes is to help people remember who they were on who they are, that we are not our diagnosis.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_05: Um, scarves is an expression of identity.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_05: I love scarves, I have a whole bunch of them.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_05: I love that.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_05: But that's the way I express some of my creativity, and it's a visible expression of my creativity.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_05: But remembering, you know, I think sometimes when we have a devastating illness, we forget who we were before that illness, what we liked.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_05: And what I like about the vignettes is that the things they do to connect are so simple.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_05: You know, whether it's building a birdhouse, you know, which you know, which talks to hope, or you know, the scars, or having a cup of tea.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_05: Those pleasures that we used to have, I want, you know, it's a way of defiance against it.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_05: I love that.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_04: Go ahead.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and sometimes there's one about the door at the end of the hall.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_05: Well, sometimes we're not ready to go through every door that we face in cancer, sort of like when I first got the news.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_05: I wasn't ready to go through that door.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_05: I had to go somewhere else and kind of think through it until I was ready.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_05: But in that hallway, there are people there and uh that want to be there for you.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_05: Um I was in the hospital, um I could not I had to give up the thought of work.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_05: I and I liked doing everything that I did, but I had to say, okay, I have folks that are supervisors that can do this, and I had to say, okay, you're gonna have to you're gonna have to do it because i can't i have to say i can't do it i cannot think about work today because this is so big and i am on my bed hospital bed and i can't do it and having to depend and realize that you're your community that's the one thing that i've learned about in cancer is that we have a community um that we need to take advantage whether it's that um the the group you know the the support group you know sometimes i wasn't ready for a support group at the beginning so i found a sponsor a one-on-one person that i could talk to about anything that had so there's the place there's a place for those who have been who are on the other side that they can give back to folks like myself yeah that's wonderful and say okay it's sort of like your AA group you know you have a sponsor well I had a cancer sponsor so um I I knew I could call her and say okay this is what's going on and and she's you know I'm saying and how long have you been cancer free oh two decades I'm like okay I can I can handle that because to me that was hope right and um and she knew how to kind of address my concerns yeah yeah that's so I I that's so important and that you included all those different perspectives those places in in the cancer journey um I love that it it can um just resound with so many different people in different lanes of that so what a treasure um I want to talk to you about the title a little bit we were talking about grace and um it it's a striking title it grabs you right away the cover of course is absolutely beautiful um when when did you first sense that Grace was meeting you in the middle of your suffering um was it right from the beginning did you just have this like epiphany moment or no I I the I was wanting to write about grace um but how I did it that didn't come right away okay I wanted to have I wanted to have this formal book about what grace was and then um and then I think about two three months in I thought wait a minute I want grace to be more than just a word I want it to be more than just a Bible study.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_05: I wanted grace to be personified to kind of make it a person that walks with us through you know and to make it a metaphor that people could connect with I wanted to do it in in a multi a myriad of ways to kind of get that message across that you know my grace is sufficient that's what the Bible says yeah my grace is sufficient because it's made perfect in weakness and I wanted to embrace the concept of weakness because a lot of times to get through the cancer journey we don't have the strength for it.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_05: I don't have the strength for it.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_05: And um there are good days and there are bad days but to be okay with the bad days and to be at rest in the bad days and not have to make be somebody that you're not that day I think that is what that's what we need what I needed to know that it didn't matter how I felt um that God was with me even if even if even if even if um things are going bad and not where I wanted to be he was still there so that's why I took grace in that direction out so beautiful yeah it it didn't start that way but that's where it ended.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah I I'm such a visual and literal person sometimes that that actually I love that idea of of seeing grace as a person as somebody walking with you.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_04: I I I love that that that makes such sense to me to do that.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_04: And even as you're talking and every time you're saying the word grace I'm imagining this this beautiful loving person right there beside me.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_04: And I just I I love that imagery and that feeling and that sense so just what a uh um I don't know God breathed idea for you to have that's so beautiful.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_05: Let's see what do I want to ask you so you're you are clear in this book that it's not a story of perfect faith which I also love um why was it important for you to say that out loud it was important because you know we don't always we're not perfect we don't have a perfect faith and I think if you're not careful um I did not want to send the message that because you believe in God and that you're going to and you're trusting in him that you're going to be able to do whatever you you're gonna get through whatever you have to go through whether it's cancer or any other disease um it's a mixed bag it you you're not going to have good days um you're going to struggle and it was important for me to say I wanted to have an authenticity about the the walk and a transparency about the walk and I did not want to be to say I got it together.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_05: I I know God and I know God for a long time and because what I know of God I'm going to be able to make it through whatever no we have times when our faith is tested when we're going through and we're like that you know the disciples on that boat where the storm tests them to and fro.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah well that was not a perfect story that was very messy.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_05: I love that because I think when we're going through our lives are messy and I wanted to make sure to not go in the in the you know the venue of perfection because we're not and that's even any people in the counseling um when I'm counseling with folks that's one of the things I want to get to them there's no perfection here it's messy and if you can embrace it that you're not then you can depend on those supports that God may bring for you along the way.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah I I think there's that um misconception that we fall into especially so I'm I'm a newer Christian I'm a new believer uh it's just been a few years and and I'm just you know it's like a crash course and learning everything and I and I just immerse myself so much in it and I I get myself into these modes of like um I get mad at myself you know when I'm not doing it perfectly and when I fail and when I lose my temper or if I swear or if I you know if I do all of those things of my former self that I'm trying to break free of and be more Christlike and and more like him in his image and I keep failing and failing and failing and getting mad at myself and then you know so so grateful to the wonderful church and and pastoral team that we have that that reminds us you know daily weekly that it's the that's why you need Jesus because you're not perfect and you never will be and it takes that burden right off of you like I can just accept this gift, you know, this this free gift of of course salvation but grace of grace and forgiveness and mercy and all of those things and it's like oh I I want I want everybody to have that feeling that that you have that I'm learning still to have and to be reminded of so it's such amazing amazing statements and reminders and just nuggets of wisdom that you're sharing for us.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah God is a God of grace and mercy.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_05: And um that's the only way I think because we can't do it and we're not perfect.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_05: But he meets us his grace is sufficient to meet us wherever we are no matter what we're going through.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah so powerful um how how do you hope readers will use this fook this book where um where do you see this impacting them in their lives?
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah um I think the one thing is you know it's a faith it's a faith story and I'm hoping that um when when things get hard that they will cling more to God it's not about again having it together it's about knowing who to trust in the midst of um and there's no there's no um there's no direction you know there's no thing that is there that says you have to do this this and this in order to reach there you don't I like what you said uh you don't have to you know eat the right foods this is not about that there are books for that and and believe you me I want to read a few of those books but that's not that's not what this is about this is about when I am weak when I don't know where I'm going to get strength for the next step I can just trust it I can lean I can be quiet I can just lean into God and He's going to meet me somehow with everything being unsettled I'm still enough with grace no matter what's going on God is still enough and and still walking with me no matter what the journey is so beautiful.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_04: So beautiful you know the the funniest thing Heather is one of the last questions I was going to be asking you was I'm gonna read the question.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_04: For some I was going to say from someone listen for someone listening right now who's holding fear and faith in the same trembling hands, what would you want them to know today?
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_04: And I I almost can't even ask I I will uh uh give you a chance to answer it if you'd like to but you've you've given everyone so many important moments and and lessons and and takeaways from this um it's just incredible I don't even know what you could add to that but if you'd like to please do what's the question again um I know I know I just went on and on um so for someone listening right now who's holding fear um and faith at the same time what would you want them to know today?
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_05: Rest.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_04: Rest you don't have to figure it out um whatever you're feeling that's what you're feeling um embrace it you don't have to have the answer and God is with you and and that's enough you don't have to do anything other than rest listen I know we're not striving for perfection but that right there just was it just simply was a a beautiful perfect answer um and and advice and suggestion for everyone so um if you would tell everyone where where they can find your book um your website all of that good stuff if you have I don't know if you have any book of events uh in-person events coming up if you do feel free to share them well actually this is my first venture in um writing a book and I do have a website an author's website um and I would have to go it is so new Heather Fairfax author all one word dot com perfect perfect yes I'm gonna go on it as soon as we're done I can't wait to look at it so much oh I I just I thank you so so much for joining me today um you would never guess that this was your first book you speak so eloquently about it and so you just have this wonderful soothing reassuring demeanor it's very clear why you're a therapist and why you are such a wonderful helper to people so um but thank you so much for joining me today.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you for having me Elsa appreciate it.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely anytime guys thank you all for watching and listening in today uh the links for Heather Fairfax's book will be in and her website will be in our show notes and we will see you the next time take care.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: You've got a story worth sharing.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's time to tell it well.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you're an author entrepreneur influencer or podcast guest stepping in front of the camera or microphone can feel overwhelming.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: On the other side of the mic is your practical encouraging guide to becoming a confident authentic and engaging interviewee written by media personality and best selling author Elsa Kurt this book blends real world wisdom from hundreds of interviews with a touch of humor, grace and heart.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's more than a how to it's a roadmap to presence, professionalism, and peace in every conversation