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Donald Drumpf Theatre: The Fascism and The Price of Eggs are Rising · Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: So let's pull the curtain back.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: We are controlling transmission, if we wish to make it louder.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: We will bring up the body.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: We can change the focus to a soft blur.
• 0:33
  You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance,
• 0:36
  of things and ideas.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: You've just crossed over into...
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_03: I hear it's fake news, but maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's fake news, okay?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_03: Now, would I do that?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 1:04
  The president of the United States has the authority to do what
• 1:07
  the president has
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: the authority to do.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've declared myself as king.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I learned a lot from Richard Nixon.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: But when the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: I could cause panic much better than even you.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: I could do much.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: I would make you look like a minor league player.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: So, Professor, would you say it's time for everyone to panic?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I would get.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the resistance.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: I promise you for the remainder of the next four years.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_03: I will only speak to you in this tone of voice.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_03: We survived the first week of the second Trump administration.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_03: Imagine,
• 1:41
  imagine how good we'll feel when we survived the first week of
• 1:44
  the third Trump administration.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Nearly 250 years ago,
• 1:50
  delegates from the 13 American colonies gathered in
• 1:53
  Philadelphia to sign a
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: revolutionary document declaring that they were no longer subjects,
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: but free to choose their own destiny.
• 2:01
  That document would come to be known as the Declaration of
• 2:04
  Independence and those men,
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: the Founding Fathers.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: Gentlemen,
• 2:17
  Those of us who have put our names to this declaration are now
• 2:22
  enemies of the crown.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: What you say is true.
• 2:26
  We must indeed all hang together,
• 2:27
  or most assuredly,
• 2:29
  we shall all hang separately.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: What say you, Alexander Hamilton?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_03: I say our lives matter not if we lose them in the cause of liberty.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_03: What matters is the nation we build.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_03: Because in America, all men are created equal.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: America, not England.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_03: We do win the sequel.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_03: And we will have leaders, but no one thing.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_03: In America, we will never have a king.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_03: Never say never.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_03: Kidding, of course, though in many ways I'm not.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm in my king era.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_03: But just like the founding fathers, I am creating a new country as well.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_03: And just like them, we're doing it very whitely.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_03: DEI is over.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's dead.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_03: Workplaces must go back to looking like the TV show The Office.
• 3:20
  Mostly white people,
• 3:21
  but with one funny black guy who's having a really bad time.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm back in the White House just in time.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_03: Everything is back to how it was.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: And the inauguration was a tremendous success.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: It was inside due to cold and fear.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a nerd-herd in the front row.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: Broligarchs before holigarchs.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_03: I've been saying it.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: We're saying it a lot.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_03: Zuck, Bezos, Tim Apple, and of course, Elon.
• 3:50
  We love Elon,
• 3:52
  but to quote some of his own children,
• 3:54
  I do not want him in my life.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_03: But it's been a great first week.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: I've done more than Sleepy Joe and Kalala did in the past four years,
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: all thanks to my beautiful executive orders.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: From now on, there will be two genders, one to work and one to cook.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: And we're done with LGBT.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: No more drag, no more guys in wigs.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_03: So we're going to go back to common sense in regards to gender.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: And the women will wear the makeup.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: No more makeup on men unless you need it to be president.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_03: Also, we are pulling out of Paris Climate Agreement.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_03: We're pulling out of World Health Organization.
• 4:34
  But as much as I've already accomplished,
• 4:37
  there's still so much to be done.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_03: I know I said I would end the war in Ukraine in 24 hours.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't say which 24 hours.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: Well, in conclusion, it's been a great week.
• 4:50
  I basically had all my campaign promises except for the one
• 4:52
  people cared about,
• 4:53
  Price of Eggs.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_03: All time high.
• 4:56
  Who would have thought it'd be easier to get a ceasefire in
• 4:59
  Gaza than bring down
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: the price of eggs?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: Might have to take the L on that one.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: You know,
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_03: we're looking into some fabulous alternative egg options,
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_03: such as seagull or perhaps catberry.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And they just went up again.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: So I bought eggs just a few days ago, actually.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: I was making a birthday cake for my boyfriend.
• 5:20
  And they were,
• 5:21
  I saw they ranged from $6 to $8 for just even like a dozen of them.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_03: And that was, I even said to myself, I'm like, this is blasphemy.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's just robbery.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's really expensive.
• 5:33
  It's the first time in my life that I've ever had to be kind of
• 5:37
  embarrassed on what
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm selling eggs for.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_03: You made me promise and promises.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: Promises, promises
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_03: Whether it's firing inspectors general,
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_03: mass deportations,
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_03: repealing the NIH studies,
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_03: and eliminating foreign assistance in vital countries around the world,
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_03: none of that does what Donald Trump promised he would do,
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: and that is focus on bringing people's costs down.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_03: Trump's whole campaign was about lowering the price of eggs.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_03: So how are they spending the shortage?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: As far as the egg shortage,
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_03: what's also contributing to that is that the Biden administration and the
• 6:28
  Department of Agriculture directed the mass killing of more
• 6:31
  than 100 million chickens.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_03: First of all, all those chickens had bird flu.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_03: They were culled to prevent the spread of the disease.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_03: And second,
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_03: if you are upset about chicken murder,
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: keep in mind your boss is wanted by Interpol for nugicide.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_03: We'll be here.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: A love forever still repeats in my head.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: You can't finish what you start.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: This is love.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_03: It breaks my heart.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_03: You made me promises, promises.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_03: I knew you'd never keep.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: Promises, promises.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: I found last week exhausting.
• 7:48
  The return to 1600 Trumpelvania Avenue was as disorienting and
• 7:54
  chaotic as I imagined.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_03: But then we had a weekend.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: Serenity now.
• 8:05
  And we can finally catch our breath,
• 8:07
  begin to move forward with intentionality.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: Namaste.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: Chaos on Wall Street.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_03: We are in the middle of a market sell-off.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: Tech stocks sent the markets into a tailspin today.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_03: Tech stocks have just taken a battery.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: Will there never be peace?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_03: No!
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: What has happened to Livda?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: What the ?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: I was promised a new era of American prosperity and greatness.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_03: What happened?
• 8:44
  A powerful new Chinese AI tool called DeepSeek is threatening
• 8:48
  the US dominance of
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_03: this emerging technology.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_03: DeepSeek is on par with what OpenAI and Google have made,
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_03: even though those companies are sinking billions of dollars,
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_03: tons of years,
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: and lots of development into this space.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_03: DeepSeek did it for cheaper in a matter of months.
• 9:03
  Hey.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: Who would have expected the Chinese to do it cheaper?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_03: I can't believe it.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's as though when you don't have labor laws or rights.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: And by the way, deep seek?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_03: Deep seek?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_03: We're getting our asses kicked by deep seek.
• 9:31
  But enough about the apparently tenuous underpinning of
• 9:34
  everything we've banked our
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_03: entire future economy on.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: What's the news freaking out about closer to home?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: Friday night massacre.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_03: Late Friday night purge.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: A chilling purge.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_03: The purge.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_03: Trump has ushered in the purge.
• 9:57
  I,
• 9:57
  for one,
• 9:57
  will take full advantage by doing some unpermitted lawn work.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_03: No God is powerless.
• 10:06
  Although,
• 10:06
  just in case I'm misinterpreting,
• 10:09
  what is this purge about exactly?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_03: Breaking news,
• 10:12
  the mass firing of government agency watchdog Trump fired at
• 10:15
  least 17 inspectors general.
• 10:19
  No!
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_03: He got rid of 17 inspectors general!
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_03: That only leaves no one knows how many left.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_03: We have 17 less inspectors general.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: Who knows how many generals will now go uninspected?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_03: Democrats, inspire my anger in the least charismatic way possible.
• 10:49
  Donald Trump's decision to fire 12 of the federal government's
• 10:53
  independent
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: watchdogs is a glaring sign that it's a golden age.
• 10:59
  And Donald Trump's decision to fire 12 of the federal
• 11:03
  government's independent
• 11:04
  watchdogs is a glaring sign that it's a golden age for abuse in
• 11:08
  government and even corruption.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: He started again, right?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_03: He said it twice.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_03: Like no recognition, just started again.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: Is that what happened?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_03: Normally humans in that scenario would go, oh God, I'm sorry.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_03: Where was I?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_03: Let me take that from the top and maybe this time I'll look up.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_03: Can you legally just restart without acknowledgement?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_03: Is Schumer AI?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: Is he deep-seek?
• 11:52
  But regardless of how slowly NPC Chuck Schumer laid it out,
• 12:02
  what Trump did violated the law.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: He can't just fire these people.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_03: Title V, Section 403 of the U.S.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_03: Code, Federal Law.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_03: An inspector general may be removed by the president.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_03: So what's the purge?
• 12:17
  There is a specific law that requires notice,
• 12:20
  30 days,
• 12:20
  and a statement of reason.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: Substantive and detailed rationale.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, what?
• 12:28
  Oh,
• 12:28
  apparently you can fire them,
• 12:30
  but you have to give them 30 days notice.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, so that's what we're upset about?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_03: No!
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: You can do it, but not in that font!
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_03: That's Hitler's font!
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_03: That's Hitler's font!
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_03: But this is the cycle we find ourselves in.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_03: First law of Trumpodynamics.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_03: Every action is met with a very not equal overreaction.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_03: Thus throwing off our ability to know when shit is actually getting real.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like last week's pardons.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: These pardons are sick.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: They are offensive.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_03: They are un-American.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_03: This is one of the most egregious, despicable acts
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_03: in American history.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: This is textbook authoritarian takeover 101.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_03: I knew I should have taken that class.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_03: And not majored in submissive liberal crying 101.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_03: Do what you will, Trumpy-ski.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_03: Was it shitty?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_03: Should you have let some of those terrible people?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_03: No!
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_03: Is it an abuse of pardon power?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_03: I don't f***ing know.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: But that is his constitutional power.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_03: Again, for some reason, we have given presidents the power of a king.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_03: And then we say,
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: oh,
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: by the way,
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: with that power,
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: you're not going to get all,
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: like,
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: kingly and shit on us,
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_03: right?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: To put that in constitutional terms, if I could, don't hate the player.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: Hate the founding fathers.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's not...
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: Why do we even have it?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: Because I don't know if you've met Donald Trump.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_03: He pushes shit.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_03: Now,
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to cause panic,
• 14:18
  but I will say that it's not the greatest news that the Trump
• 14:21
  Justice Department
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_03: has fired the officials who investigated Trump.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_03: Keep in mind.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: Keep in mind.
• 14:29
  The January 6th investigation was the largest single
• 14:33
  investigation in the history
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_03: of the federal government.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_03: And if you fire all those people, there's going to be nobody left.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: We'll have to change the name to the department of just this guy.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, Justin.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Justin.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: This firing is probably, and I hope you're sitting down, illegal.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: Because it violates civil service protections,
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: and it's clearly retribution,
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_03: unless you ask some Republicans,
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: like Congressman Dan Crenshaw.
• 15:08
  Do you believe that the American people elected Trump to get
• 15:11
  revenge on federal prosecutors?
• 15:13
  Whether this is considered revenge or not,
• 15:15
  I think is open to interpretation.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: Who knows if it's revenge?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_03: It's just like that movie V for Vambiguous.
• 15:29
  Trump's DOJ isn't just firing lawyers who worked on the January
• 15:33
  6th cases.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_03: They're also launching investigations into specific prosecutors,
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: which they're calling a special project.
• 15:40
  Going after honest civil servants just doing their job is not a
• 15:43
  special project.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: It is a disgrace.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: President Trump deploying executive action to end birthright citizenship.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_03: This unconstitutional, un-American attack.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: Shredding our constitution.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: He wants to be a strong man authoritarian.
• 15:59
  Birthright citizenship was very specifically tailored to send a
• 16:02
  message to people
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: that America was a place,
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: an idea.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't for one race.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't for one gender.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_03: Citizenship in America was based on where you were, not who you were.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_03: And to just stroke of a pen, finally I agree.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: That is authoritarian.
• 16:19
  We do begin tonight with the federal judge blocking President
• 16:21
  Trump's executive
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_03: order that would end birthright citizenship.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_03: And we're back.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: See how easy that was?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_03: It was a dictatorship.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_03: And then the judge went... It's like when you have an electric fence.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_03: You never check it, and you're not really sure if it works.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: Because... Because you have a good boy.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_03: You have a very good boy.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_03: But then one day, zap...
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: Birthright citizenship is back.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_03: No, obviously we'll appeal it.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_03: Damn you,
• 17:06
  constitutionally enshrined judicial review of executive action
• 17:09
  and its relief
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_03: through the appellate process.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: We are facing a deluge of these executive actions.
• 17:17
  And certainly we must be prepared for those most vulnerable to
• 17:21
  the consequences of
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: these actions.
• 17:23
  But the this is all fascist argument has become almost a reflex
• 17:28
  for the left.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump promised to be a dictator on day one,
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_03: and he's carried that forward through the entire week.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_03: Five days into this administration, the abuse is already rampant.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: Throughout the rest of the week, shredding the Constitution as he went.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_03: On a fascism scale of 1 to 10,
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: with 10 being peak fascism,
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: how would you rate Trump's first week?
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_03: On the scale of Mussolini to the Holocaust.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I would say it's not fascism.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: Do I not understand what fascism is?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_03: Now,
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_03: look,
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: I have a lot of fear that as this term goes on,
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_03: things are going to get a little fascisty.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_03: And we must be vigilant.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_03: But part of vigilance is discernment.
• 18:18
  Republicans control the House,
• 18:20
  the Senate,
• 18:21
  the executive,
• 18:22
  and the judiciary.
• 18:24
  And just about every move that has been made till this point,
• 18:27
  we have granted them electorally.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: It's our fault!
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_03: And the constant drop... Yeah, it's just our fault!
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: And...
• 18:41
  The constant drumbeat of encroaching fascism will erode the
• 18:45
  credibility we will
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_03: need if,
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: hopefully if,
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_03: and not when,
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: it hits.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_03: But the truth is that for now,
• 18:54
  his most objectionable actions have taken place almost entirely
• 18:58
  within our designed
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_03: democratic system.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: Like the confirmation process.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_03: Despite claims of meritocracy,
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_03: Trump has put forth some of the least LinkedIn people you could imagine.
• 19:12
  I don't know what responsible hiring process you can create
• 19:16
  that looks at this.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_03: I'm going to get another refill.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'm feeling good.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I'm just a little bit extra.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_03: It's already in there anyway.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: What do we care?
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_03: Duncan dad on New Year's Eve.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_03: Who's that guy?
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: I want him leading defense.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_03: And how did this individual,
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_03: who has never so much as successfully managed a Waffle House pop-up,
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: gonna run the three million people Department of Defense?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: but he wasn't foisted upon us by a dictator.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: There was no authoritarian end run, no royal edicts.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: This shit happened to us as designed, advised, but mostly consent.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: Passed through the Armed Services Committee, put through a Senate vote.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_03: Three Republicans,
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: of course,
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: made a show of,
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_03: this is the most outrageous,
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_03: I cannot in good conscience...
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_03: Because they knew they could lose three.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_03: It was a f***ing performance.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_03: And J.D.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_03: Vance broke the tie democratically.
• 20:26
  Trump's using the almost absolute power we have
• 20:29
  constitutionally granted him and
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_03: the Republicans.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_03: Because this is Trump's theory in governance.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_03: He's already laid it out to not President Bush in 2005,
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_03: back when he was still accessing Hollywood.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_03: That's his governing philosophy.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_03: For all of it.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_03: Appointing people,
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_03: firing people,
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_03: writing executive orders,
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_03: taking Greenland,
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: making Wikipedia-like edits to the literal globe.
• 21:01
  But unfortunately,
• 21:02
  as of now,
• 21:04
  it's pretty much just democratically grabbing our pussy.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: We said, yeah.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: He has the consent of the people.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: Look, the Trump administration was clearly ready for this.
• 21:19
  It was almost as though they had some project for what they
• 21:22
  might do in 2025.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_03: And they're so emboldened, they're not even stopping on American shores.
• 21:29
  The president said he thought more than a million Palestinians
• 21:32
  in Gaza could be
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: moved to nearby Arab countries.
• 21:37
  What the ?
• 21:38
  He's so emboldened,
• 21:41
  he wants to start deporting people from other people's countries.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: Look, I really hope the Democrats figure out a way to contain this guy.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_03: The question is probably not how dare he go.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_03: The question should be, what are you learning from this?
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: How would you use this power?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: What's your contract with America?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_03: Democrats exist outside of him.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_03: Tell people what you would do with the power that Trump is wielding.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: And then convince us to give that power to you as soon as possible.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: That's the goal.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's enough with the... He's a Hitler.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_03: He's a thing.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_03: Stop doing it.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_03: That's terrible.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_03: What would you do?
• 22:34
  And if not...
• 22:41
  If you don't have any of the answers,
• 22:42
  maybe AI has a solution for you.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, Siri, what can Democrats do to stop Trump?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's too late!
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_03: Trump has been signing a lot of executive orders this week,
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_03: and Trump has been pissing people off on a global scale.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_03: Thursday, he zoomed in to the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_03: In a rambling address,
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_03: the president,
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_03: among other things,
• 23:10
  blasted European regulation and trade policies while also
• 23:13
  renewing his promise for
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_03: across-the-board tariffs.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_03: Trump once again threatened our neighbors to the north with tariffs.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_03: Canada.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_03: We have a tremendous deficit with Canada.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_03: We're not going to have that anymore.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: We can't do it.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if it's good for them.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_03: As you probably know, I say you can always become a state.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, join us.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, join us, you syrup-sucking freaks.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_03: You moose-fondling ice holes.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, you'll need a new name.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_03: You're right above Minnesota.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_03: We'll call you Maxi-Soda.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_03: Okay?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_03: Now, there you go.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_03: Trump has very bizarre fixations on certain foreign countries.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_03: Now, you might be saying, do you mean Russia and China?
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_03: Because he promised to deal with them immediately once he was in office.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_03: I don't.
• 24:05
  Trump set off an international panic after a tense call with
• 24:07
  the prime minister of
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_03: Denmark in which he once again threatened to annex Greenland.
• 24:11
  President Trump sounding like he's not backing down when it
• 24:14
  comes to his desire to
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: buy Greenland.
• 24:17
  It comes after reports of a fiery call between Trump and the
• 24:21
  Denmark prime minister.
• 24:23
  Denmark is in,
• 24:24
  quote,
• 24:24
  crisis mode after Trump continues to push for Greenland.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_03: The intent was very clear.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_03: They want it.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_03: The Danes are now in crisis mode,
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_03: one official said of the call,
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_03: while another said the Danes are utterly freaked out by this.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_03: It's only been a week,
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_03: and Trump has freaked out the entire nation of Denmark,
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_03: a place that is often ranked as the happiest country in the world.
• 24:44
  But if you thought there was no way Trump could fit in another
• 24:47
  petty fight with
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: foreign countries this weekend,
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_03: you're wrong,
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_03: because he also got into a war of words with the president of Colombia.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_03: President Trump and Gustavo Petro,
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_03: the president of Colombia,
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_03: went head to head,
• 24:57
  trading barbs here over the weekend after Colombia said that
• 25:00
  they would deny the
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_03: entry of planes from the U.S.
• 25:03
  carrying Colombian citizens that were being deported back to
• 25:06
  their home country.
• 25:07
  The president hit him back with the threat of what he called
• 25:09
  emergency tariffs to
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_03: the tune of 25 percent.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_03: It would spike to 50 percent after a week,
• 25:14
  as well as travel bans and visa sanctions on the Colombian
• 25:17
  government and its supporters.
• 25:19
  President Pedro responding on social media saying Colombia will
• 25:22
  impose reciprocal
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: 50% tariffs on U.S.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_03: goods, telling Trump, I resist you.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_03: Late last night,
• 25:29
  the Trump administration backed off the trade threats after
• 25:31
  Colombia said it would
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_03: accept deportation flights.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_03: So Trump threatened a 50% tariff on Columbia.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_03: A Columbia's president responded by saying,
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_03: I resist you,
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: and even called Trump a white enslaver.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: But then they came to an agreement, and now it's all good.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_03: Trump's relationships with foreign leaders are like those couples who are
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_03: constantly fighting in public,
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_03: but then brag about how great the sex is.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_03: Were you just flirting with the waitress?
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: You mean like how you flirt with your trainer?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_03: That's it.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'm leaving.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_03: Then I'm leaving too.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_03: Should we go back home?
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_03: Fine by me.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_03: I still have the handcuffs.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_03: Great.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_03: The safe word is tariffs.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: And hey,
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm down for whatever gets you off,
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_03: but you know who that kind of dynamic is traumatic for?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: Us, the kids.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_03: Hey,
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_03: you probably heard mommy call daddy a white enslaver last night,
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_03: but I want you to know we made up.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_03: You probably heard that, too.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_03: Who wants pancakes?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_03: But fighting with Denmark and Colombia is not a sign of strength.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's a sign of weakness.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_03: During the campaign, Trump promised to take on China and Russia.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_03: But as soon as he took office,
• 26:31
  he forgot about them and started picking fights with smaller
• 26:34
  countries instead.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: You know, who's next?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_03: Good evening, my fellow American.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: Tonight,
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_03: I must inform you,
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_03: the United States has declared war on two of our biggest adversaries,
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_03: Tuvalu and Liechtenstein.
• 26:47
  The point is Trump would rather everyone focus on the mostly
• 26:55
  meaningless fights
• 26:56
  he's picking with small countries than on the blatant
• 26:59
  corruption going on in his
• 27:00
  administration like his wildly unpopular pardons of violent
• 27:03
  insurrectionists or his
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_03: illegal firings of government watchdogs.
• 27:08
  caught heat earlier in the week for his threats to
• 27:10
  non-consensually acquired Greenland.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_03: This past week,
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_03: at a press conference in the capital city of Nook,
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_03: their prime minister said,
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_03: unequivocally,
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_03: we do not want to be Americans.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_03: After his speech,
• 27:20
  a reporter asked Greenland's prime minister if Greenland had
• 27:22
  conveyed the message
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_03: that it is not up for grabs directly to Trump.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: At the same time,
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_03: in a meeting of the European Parliament,
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_03: one Danish official pushed back on the president a little more directly.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: Dear President Trump, listen very carefully.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: Greenland has been part of the Danish kingdom for 800 years.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's an integrated part of our country.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: It is not for sale.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: Let me put it in words you might understand.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: Mr. Trump, **** off.