Latest / The Bold Lounge / Bart Foster: Explore Your Bold Path, Outside (Your Comfort Zone)

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Bart Foster: Explore Your Bold Path, Outside (Your Comfort Zone) · The Bold Lounge

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Bold Lounge Podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: My name is Lee Burgess and I will be your host.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: If you're anything like me, you love hearing inspiring stories of people who have gone on bold journeys and made a positive impact on it.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: This podcast is all about those kinds of stories.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: Every week we'll hear from someone who mistakenly important.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: In addition to hearing those stories, we'll also learn about the bold world that they used to be face to.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: Whether they face the context or outcomes, they persisted, and ultimately bold.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: These impactful stories will be feeling motivated and inspired to pursue your own folder.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: I believe everyone has a bold story waiting to be created.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: Tune in and get ready to be inspired.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: Today I'm super excited to introduce you to Bart Foster.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: He is the founder and CEO of Business Outside.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: He's an author, trail guide, motivational speaker, and facilitator.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome, Bart.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: How are you doing?
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Good to be here.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: Good.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, great to see you and speak with you.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I cannot wait to share more about Business Outside with our listeners.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'd love for you, if you don't mind, just doing a brief introduction of you to our listeners.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm Bart Foster.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: I live in Boulder, Colorado.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: I've got two kids, and yeah, I'm a facilitator, author, and speaker.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think what we're going to talk about today is just how to be bold.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, how to be bold.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: And you certainly have had a lot of experience in that and continue to do that.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: So we'll jump right in.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: So how would you define bold?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: What does bold mean to Bart?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Bart for me, bold is doing things that are unique and out there and different and getting outside of your comfort zone, outside of societal norms and taking a risk and making things happen.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes, you know, people we go through life and things are happening to us.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And being bold is when we can figure out and flip the script and have things happen by us instead of to us.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: To me, that's what being bold is.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, love that definition.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: By us versus to us.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of that happens, I think, daily.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: People are thinking things are happening to them when really they were probably a participant in the situation in some form or fashion, either tolerating something or setting a routine or a habit, or who knows?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: There's lots of things that could variables that could go into that.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: So in your life, if you if I say what was your first bold move in life, what would it be?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I would say one of the biggest that that's most transformative for me.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I was at Kellogg's, I was selling cereal, rice crispy treats, and Pop Tarts and all that stuff.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was in the food service division, kind of on the sales side.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And after two years, I was able to win the National Salesman of the Year.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was the youngest guy to ever win this.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was called the Golden K Award.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Big deal, right?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Three months later, I was reading in Fast Company, and this is back, you know, 15, 20 years ago, when Fast Company, you know, in the late 90s, it was so thick.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I read an article and it was called Brand You, which became famous.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: But this article talked about, you know, if you're if you're good and you're inside a big company, you know, you're kind of wasting your time.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: You really should hook your wagon to a startup because this dot-com thing is really taking off.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I really took it to heart.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I was probably overconfident.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was young, and I was I kept wanting to move up, and Kellogg just wasn't fast enough for me.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I found a internet grocery company, and it was called Peach Tree Network.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: They were based out of Montreal.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: You may have heard of Instacart.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we we were Instacart like 15 years too early.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: In the 90s, yeah.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like way too early.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was, it was like people didn't even have phones yet.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think we did the first internet grocery order over a cell phone.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: It was a cell phone, it was a little flip phone.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, but that was a bold move for me because I had on paper, I had all the success in front of me.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: I won the National Salesman of the Year.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: I was slated to be a VP of you know national accounts.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: I was young in my career, and I was earning you know a decent salary.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, I wanted to be bold.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to do something different and and step out.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: And when I told my boss, it was like he couldn't believe it.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Well, what do you mean?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like you we've got this whole path for you.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got visited from like six VPs, and I said, Guys, I I've made a decision, I want to do this.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: But it was that article that caused me to say, you know what, I I have to be bold and go do something.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I made that happen.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: So you went from something that was probably going to be stable, consistent.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: These are some of the words I hear from organizations and clients that don't want to, you know, this is this is safe.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: You could probably determine what would be next predictable in that sense to something unknown, but exciting.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: And some of the excitement's actually in the unknown.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: At least I think that's the case in my experience.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like you're learning.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: And although you were very, very good at what you did, you really felt there was something more out there.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: And that article is what you needed to kind of start that fire.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Stability versus opportunity.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's a main theme that I and I often you know will coach and counsel other folks.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's what are you trying to optimize for?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know, some people they're not cut out to be an entrepreneur.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: They they would really value stability and security.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And and frankly, once I've got outside of the big company, I look back, I actually value that.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And some people that's what they should do.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: My guess is a lot of the people listening to this podcast, though, they want to be bold, they want to do something different, they want to get out of their comfort zone.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's where you have to think opportunity is it's much better than say stability.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a personal choice.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: The pros and cons of not doing something versus doing something too.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: I think, yeah.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: And there's nothing wrong with a stable, predictable piece of a role if that's really the right thing for you.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: I think sometimes, like myself, I think I've been an entrepreneur all my life, but I didn't know it until I was 48 when I got pushed to the point where I was just like totally burnt out in the court.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: So I think, you know, just the connectedness to like figuring it out and then knowing that's what I wanted to do, and then just going for it, the just do it type of mentality.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: But man, I can't bottle just do it for people because they have to take that first step, right?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: They have to like go and lean into some what they call risk.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: But they're, you know, you have something in your book called really expanding your circle of comfort.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: Can you talk a little bit about that?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think that's where risk comes into play in some people's analysis of, you know, is this the right thing to do or even to think about?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'll share two things with it.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: One is is what you just talked about, so the circle of comfort.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: And if you imagine, draw a dot in the dirt, you draw a circle around that dot, and you say, This is your circle of comfort, and this is you, you're the dot in the circle of comfort, and it's everything you're comfortable with, right?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: The food you like, your friends, your comfy bed, potentially your job, your coworkers, you're comfortable, right?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And every time you step outside of that circle, it's a little uncomfortable, and you want to retreat back, and you're not sure.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I I've never done this before, and and I'm uneasy, I'm a little anxious.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what happens is and you draw a circle around that other circle, and your circle just gets bigger.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I tell my you know, my kids, or I used to, they're they're older now, but I I would tell them that it's my job as a parent to get your circle as big as we can make it.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And to do that, I have to live by lead by example.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: So every week I'm looking for things.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: How do I expand my circle just a little bit?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because then my circle just gets bigger to the point where I'm comfortable doing all kinds of things now.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now my kids just roll their eyes and like, oh yeah, dad, we're expanding our circle.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I think it's resonated.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: What's an example of some of your like expansion that you're doing now that you never would have thought you'd feel comfortable doing before?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, like all kinds of I'll give you one example.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, an exercise.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: An exercise I love to do is I'll take a group on a hike and I'll say, pair up with somebody you don't know.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to think about your life like branches of a tree.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And we all had different forks in the road.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Who is a person who made a big impact on you at one of those forks in the road?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: What did they say?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: How did they make you feel?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: And how did they change the trajectory of your life?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to share that with another person, right?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then we share and we walk up the hill, and then we'll circle up and I'll say, guys, what I found was a lot of times the people in our life that made a big impact, they don't even know.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know who they are.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I said, I want you to tick out your phone and I'm gonna give you five minutes, and we're gonna disperse.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to record a selfie video, 30 seconds, 45 seconds, whatever.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Record it to somebody who made a big impact on you.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Go off and do that.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you, the first time I did that, I was thinking, oh my god, people are gonna think I'm an idiot.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna look at me like I'm crazy, they're gonna roll their eyes and say, No, we're not doing that, we're gonna keep hiking.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I did it, and I did it again, and I did it again, and I would do it in different groups.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: But each time I would have this imposter syndrome, and I wasn't sure until about three months ago.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a guy that was in a group that I had done before, and he said, Hey, before you start, I just want to share a quick story.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: He said, I did that, and he said, You know what?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: I sent that selfie video and I sent it to somebody I hadn't talked to in 15 years.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: And he said they got back to me, and it turns out the guy had some suicidal thoughts, and he said that he was felt alone and he didn't know what he was gonna do next.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Bart, we've talked five times since.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, I may have changed the trajectory of this guy's life.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, I wanted to share that because that exercise meant a lot.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Once I heard that story, I'm like, screw it.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be bold, keep going out there, keep doing it because I figured out I'm inspiring people.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I say that as an example because two years ago, I wouldn't have done that.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I would have been embarrassed or nervous.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: I saw a commercial the other day.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: It said, every bold idea seems crazy.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like selling groceries online, buying a car through text.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like all these different, you know, things that are happening now that probably someone had an idea about before or felt uneasy about even sharing it.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: And the power of what you just talked about is like I'm gonna do it anyway, I'm gonna put it out there.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, these are executives, these are people that you know are part of your business, and you want them to have a good experience, but you're gonna ask them to do something that's you know, I've never been asked to do that before, but just as you're doing it, like, hey, I might try that this afternoon, just go do that on my own.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'll take it a step further and I'll just say if you if you're in a group of 100 people and you're sharing what you believe is a bold idea, if 20 of them don't say you're crazy or they laugh at you, it's not bold.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, you're just being normal because most people in society that we succumb to societal norms.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Being bold is saying screw it.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do it a different way.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: For sure.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I I've kind of been there, I think, all of my life, and I don't think that's always been welcome.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: So I think a lot of the time in the corporate setting, and people have different experiences, and it's not all bad.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: I don't mean it like that, but you know, sometimes that gets damped down a bit.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, don't be so, you know, outspoken, don't share, don't be so innovative.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I think sometimes we just have to make sure we we still light that fire wherever we are, and however you can do it, and the brighter it can be so that you're aligned with really what you want to be doing.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you have a an activity in your book where it's like looking at what your values are aligned to and going through kind of, you know, I'm best when I and when I'm doing that, I feel, and the more I do it, I feel, and being able to like finish those sentences, and does that actually align with what you're doing today?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: And it might, and you know, high five on that moment, because you're in the right spot.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of us, I think, you know, even though I'm in a good spot, I'm still wanting to grow and learn and figure stuff out and meet new people and expand my comfort zone for short.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it it needs it's expanded.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: I think, you know, like just being able to get out there and do some of the things.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's no growth and comfort, and there's no comfort and growth.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I think where we spend our energy, again, another piece of your book is really about how you're managing your energy and how you're spending it and and realizing is it actually feeding you, having, you know, does it give you growth or is it expanding you or is it shrinking you what you're working on?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to come back to the real the crux of what you do, which is, you know, you're the CEO and founder of Business Outside.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: So for people that don't know what business outside is all about, can you share your your elevator kind of conversation about what is business outside?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's really a philosophy of how to do things differently.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's out of your comfort zone, outside of societal corporate norms and outside in nature.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I found just being outside, literally and figuratively, is where I'm the happiest, the healthiest, I'm the most focused.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: I have more ideas.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I found when I take people in groups and I do a lot of corporate retreats and do strategic planning meetings for big, you know, Fortune 1000 companies.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we work on building trust.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if we can have trust, we can have healthy conflict.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: And we have healthy conflict, we can have shared commitments and accountability, and we can focus on results.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: But it all starts with building trust, right?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's Patrick Lincioni's five dysfunctions of a team.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: And to build trust, one of the things I found is we do this connection hike and we get executives outside.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: And there could be 20, I've done it with hundreds of people, big trade shows and things, and we'll bust people out from Vegas out to Red Rocks.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: I saw that.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: We did this, we did this last week.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: It was amazing.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: And and I say, guys, I want you to pair up with somebody you've never met.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the prompt.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll give them a prompt.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: And the first one is really basic.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: It'll say something like, think about something you've celebrated or you're proud of in the last six months.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now follow me.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And they hike and they walk shoulder to shoulder.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then after 10 minutes, we'll circle up, big circle, and I'll say, All right, let's brag for the other person.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: What did we hear them celebrate?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And we do this three or four times, and it's called a connection hike.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: And why I mention it, it's a it's a cornerstone of kind of what we do in some of these retreats, but it's about doing things different.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: And what people are starting to realize we don't have to be around four walls and watching PowerPoint slides all day.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: We can actually be moving, we can be outside, and we can talk about real business.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I found that when you're walking shoulder to shoulder with somebody and you're outside, you're more authentic.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're more authentic, you're more vulnerable.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're more vulnerable, you're going to build more trust.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have more trust, you're going to have a better team.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: So it leads to higher performing teams.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: So we focus on trying to help teams optimize their performance.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: But we've also seen it helps attract and retain the best talent.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because the younger folks, they're really in tune with their emotions.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: The older fuddy duddies, they don't know how to deal with this.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we're trying to bridge the gap.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: So it's definitely a different way of thinking, a different way of doing business.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: And then I think of like if I would have done this in my past organization, I don't think they would have been for it.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: Even leadership, you know, like it was a you need to be in the office if you're working.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: You need to kind of be, we need to see you.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, that's changed and still the pandemic changed it all.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: It changed everything.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yep, for sure.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I think some people are trying to have it go back, which is some of the I think uneasiness that's happening with some of the organizations.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: They're doing the two days in the office, the three days in the office.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, sometimes I'm like, what's that all about?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, why don't we just work on the work and figure out the best way to do that and keep connectedness?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's the piece that can be gained exponentially by doing business outside, like you do.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I think people miss the mark with that.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the things you said I want to go back to is when you're outside walking shoulder to shoulder, you're more authentic.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: You're really focused and intentional, and I think you're present.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: And and why wouldn't we want more of that in our work and in our lives?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: And the added pieces to that obviously are the the health pieces.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: I shared real quickly before we got on that I, you know, I had had a vitamin D deficiency most of my life because in being in the corporate, I never really was outside very much.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: Not a lot of sunshine.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: And so even in my office, like and I had a plant, and it was, you know, that's got more sunshine than me probably most of my career.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_02: So what do you think, you know, when people want to start doing something, how do they start?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: Do they, you know, follow some of the prompts in the book?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like they're really easy activities, folks.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: When you look at the book, it'll give you an idea that you can do just do one thing outside, right?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like just have a meeting, go to the picnic table.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to take a hike, but you know, is that really it's it they can take these small steps into that space?
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'll give you a couple examples.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: So we talk about having a weekly check-in.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, maybe you have a checkout.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you say, hey guys, let's go for a walk and we're gonna do our checkout.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I I have these little little notebooks that fit in my pocket, and you just take some notes and you're walking.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's a reason why they tell us to talk with our kids when they're in the car.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's not because they're just captured you, you don't have eye contact, direct eye contact.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's something about that.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I call it a walkie-talkie or a checkout.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: And walkie-talkie is just like it sounds you're walking and you're talking.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Meeting outside, right?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: You can take the picnic table, put in the shade, meet outside.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of having lunch lunch at your desk, yeah, fresh air Friday.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you get outside?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: So being able to do some of those things.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I think for some people, that's a lot of getting out of their comfort zone right there.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: Believe it or not.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you've found that.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like maybe the group's coming to you, like everyone's like all in and stoked and ready to roll and ready to hike, or you know, like I'd probably be the person that'd be excited, but I'm like, man, am I gonna health-wise, am I gonna be able to hike as fast as everybody?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: You know, am I gonna be able to keep up?
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'm working on rebuilding my health from being inside so much and having such poor habits.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: But like, does everyone kind of show up ready to roll?
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: Do they kind of ease into it, or what's it feel like from when they get off the bus to when they get back on?
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's a complete different thing, right?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because yes, what you just shared, people are apprehensive.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, do I have the right shoes?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Is is the trail gonna be steep?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Is am I gonna have my high rate too high?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna sweat?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: What am I gonna wear after?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: They're just like, dude, I I don't know.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: I I've never done this.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really funny when you get people out of the city and you get all of a sudden you get on dirt and they look down and they're like, We're gonna we're gonna walk right, and they just don't, yeah, if they're out of their comfort zone, right?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right away.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I set them at ease really quickly, and we'll do a quick line exercise.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I I say, Hey guys, half the group on one side, half on the other.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to step forward if it's true, right?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: I have kids.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: All right, take a step back.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: I have two kids, I have three kids, and really quickly you figure out the commonalities, but then it gets a little deeper.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll say something like, Both of my parents are still alive.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'll say, Sometimes I wonder if I'll be relevant 10 years from now.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Or the one I love is I've had a project or business fail on my watch, and all of a sudden you see in a group, holy shit, there's a lot of commonalities.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I do it in a very, you know, non-threatening way.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: People start to feel comfortable, and then I say, get with somebody you haven't talked to, share with them something you celebrate or proud of.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: All of a sudden they're walking shoulders shoulder, and they're like, you know what, this isn't that bad.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then by the time they get back, they're like, Oh my gosh, like I have no idea.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I love, Leah, it's when I ask the companies, hey, how well do you guys know each other?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, Oh, we've worked together for 20 years.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we know each other really, really well.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, okay.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: And after like an hour, it's like they're just sharing and laughing.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, I had no idea.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you had an autistic child and you had this, and you went to school over here.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because we don't take the time.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: We we we think of each other as human resources instead of humans.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if we can get strip that away, and I call it the nature of conversations, right?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: 70% of the conversations, if you think about Bellcurve, 70% of the conversations we have in life are right in the middle.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: How's the weather?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: How's your job?
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: How are your kids?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: We should catch up sometime.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: Those are cool shoes.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: Where'd you get that car?
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody cares.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's the 10% on each side, you get a little deeper, and the 5%, that's where the that's where the emotion is.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: So you have some great examples of conversation starters and kind of get out of the comfort zone moments.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, you've given us some examples for you.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like when you were starting off, obviously, from going from the the K Club all the way to kind of starting your own business to quitting, and you did a little space in there of traveling and being able to experience the world, like those are bold moments, right?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: All happening, and as you're going into those moments with an unknowing but excited attitude, I'm assuming.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_02: What are some of the things you did to start conversations in an area that was new to you or people that were completely new to you that you didn't work with for 20 years, but they were new?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what's a way to find commonality in the unknown when you're beginning to explore something new or a new relationship?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I always think about having I call it four, three, two, one.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: So you should have four stories, positive and negative, business and personal.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: So four stories.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Four stories, three facts, two quotes, and one question.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: So four, three, two, one, four stories.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: And these could be stories about anything, but it's something that makes you interesting.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: A positive story, right?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: A success and a failure, business and personal.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's four.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Three, so you if you have three facts, and these can be facts about anything.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: It could be the size of the earth, how many you know, people live in Botswana, like it doesn't matter, but it's facts that you know that make you interesting.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Two quotes, right?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: Two quotes that you like and believe in, or they kind of help shape who you are, two quotes, and then one question, and I like the one question you can ask anybody in the world.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the question I like to ask people is you know, knowing what you know now, what would you tell yourself 10 years ago or 20 years ago?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: You could ask anybody that and quickly you can.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: figure out some commonalities, but I always like to have that in in my kind of virtual backpack.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: So four, three, two, one.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other is just to start off, instead of starting with, hey, how you doing?
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like how about what's bringing you joy?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Or what gives you energy right now?
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean that totally changed the question.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I love doing it in in cocktail receptions because people aren't used to it.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're just like, oh how you doing?
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh how are you?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: How are you doing?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: We should catch up something no I just flip it and just say hey what's bringing you energy right now?
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: Get right at it, right?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like cut through not I don't want oh I love it.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to be asked about the weather.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: You know, look on your app if you want to know how it is here.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: I don't mean that in a bad way but I just mean it's just the surface level kind of stuff that only keeps us from each other, right?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: And keeps us from what we have more in common than probably unalike.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I I do feel like there's more good out there than people realize.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: I just think sometimes we never get to it because we don't intentionally try to meet and understand or even I'll just say being bold is being vulnerable too like putting it out there.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: You know you talked about some examples that you shared with groups about if someone says they had a failed business or they had a marriage that didn't work out or you know I lost my brother when I was six.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: You know so like those are things that like whoa I you didn't you don't wear name tag with that on there.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: So like you don't know that but like okay I'm putting it out there and that vulnerability is extremely bold.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I I just want people to make sure they realize that's just as much bold as you know starting a new business or figuring out which type of role that you want or you know doing something with your health like there's those bold moments of just self-you know assurance and self-understanding and also sharing something that probably someone else has um really a common experience.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what happens when you do that and you're bold and you step out of your comfort zone and you're vulnerable it gives everyone else permission to do the same.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: And as a leader as an entrepreneur a CEO a founder if you can do that it's infectious and you're going to encourage other people in your in companies to do it.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where the magic happens because then you have trust.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah it's almost selfish not to do it.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's how I feel now like when I first started out I didn't have and I didn't share a lot of things I didn't have a lot of followers.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't put much out there about my family or what I was doing or what I was struggling with because it's not always rainbows and butterflies although social media will let you think that but I like to share the mess as much as the success and so I think that's one thing that for people to understand is they don't really realize maybe something small to them is something big to someone else and you don't know who's watching and you may be inspiring.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like your example of calling someone who meant a lot when you probably didn't tell them that right or they don't really realize the impact they have.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean I don't know yeah I still remember my mentor out of my first masters who she's passed away now but I when we were moving I pulled out of my Bible I had her card to me that was in there that she had written to me in very late 90s and it was just her belief in me you know and here I was like trying to figure out what I wanted to do.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: She was so kind to me and she gave me my first job out of my master's so but like I hope she knows what she meant to me but like it's don't miss that moment.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like don't don't take don't keep that from somebody and so I love that messaging that you have there.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I know we just have a little bit of time and I could talk to you for a very long time.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I think the one thing that I just want people to leave with is that it's okay to do something different.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: And there's this quote in the book that I just want to read and I have it here just so I don't mess it up.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: And it's actually from Steve Jobs really about after he was fired from Apple and says the heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again less sure about everything.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life and the reason I like this I highlighted it is because there's something in just like letting the guard down that I think comes from business outside and you know your mission and what you're founded on as well as just being able to be bold and wondered what your thoughts or what that quote means to you when when you hear it.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the beginner's mind right I think we often have these false narratives that are playing in our head that are not true.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: But based on our upbringing early trauma trauma whatever it might be we make up stories that are just not true that don't serve us.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: And if we can strip those away and actually be a beginner again and a child that's why children have so many ideas like no one's no one's had a chance to shape them and mold them and tell them no that's stupid that's that's dumb.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's not going to work and you're never going to do that.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're little you just dream really big so that quote kind of means to me like strip it all away let's be a beginner again and be bold and go make shit happen.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah exactly just love that and I I hadn't seen that specific quote but there's something freeing too in just being able to begin and then try stuff and have it fail.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: Try stuff and have it succeed and it doesn't always have to be a home run and you're learning in each of those those phases so I love that I love the book.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: I hope everyone that all the information below is from business outside discover your path forward by Bart all his services and coaching and facilitation that he can do for you.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you so much Bart for taking the time we I got a challenge for your audience.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay all right I think that you know the uh the selfie video let's think about let's think about somebody who made a big impact on our life and send them a short video 30 seconds 45 seconds tell them what they meant to you and how they changed the trajectory of your life how they made you feel and then if you get a response back and you're willing to share Leah maybe they can go to your website send you something yeah send to me on LinkedIn I think we have an opportunity to create that you know business outside is more of a movement it's about doing things different being bold.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just one little idea that I think we could create this gratitude loop and have all these people sharing all these crazy cool stories of how this person made them bold and who they are.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah so you see the post you know this has gone out so on LinkedIn you'll be able to add your story and add your picture your comment to it from who you sent your message to would love to see the sharing in that thank you so much for your time and for the challenge and I hope we stay connected.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you Bart thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge podcast through the continuum of bold stories vulnerability to taking the leap you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important stories.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_02: By highlighting these stories we hope to inspire others and share the journey of those with bold mindset.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_02: We hope you've enjoyed this podcast and look forward to sharing the next bold journey