Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Ep. 87 | The Provider Trap: Why Your Kids Don't Care How Much You Know | The Reset
Transcript
- Shaun: Hello and welcome back to the reset, is episode 87 with me Sean Tucker. Nobody cares how much you know, wait for it, until they realise how much you really care. This one thing is stopping you from being the man who is respected and loved not only by your children and your partner, but also the people who you interact with every single day. No one cares how much you know until they realize how much you care. that statement. What does it mean? I had a mentor and I've spoken about this mentor on earlier episodes. This mentor for me was quite toxic. However, he had some really solid gold when it came to just some quotes actually. This was given by him and it's so true because if you're wondering why you are disconnected from your kids. why you will give up and sacrifice everything to make sure that you know they're provided for especially as a dad especially as a founder especially as an entrepreneur who gives so much for his family but the thing is when you return home you're probably thinking why do i feel so disconnected from my kids why do i feel so disconnected from my partner it's because of this you can't articulate what the problem is that you solve in clear enough articulate language that they understand. The problem is right now you're thinking top down. But when it comes to relationships, when it comes to people around you immediately, they don't start in here. They don't live in here. When it comes to the relationship with you, they're most likely are in their body, in their physiology. It's very bottom up. And if you're not connected with them because you're disconnected from your own body, well, there's the problem right there. You can't actually show how much you care about them because you are existing in your head and your mind and your thoughts alone. This is very problematic, not only because one, you can't clearly communicate with them or have open communication, but two, you can hardly listen to what the body and what your environment is trying to tell you. And this is the gap. This is the intersection that I help a lot of dads, a lot of founders, even moms understand. Mums have so much of a better understanding because they're so much more embodied. They're trained to listen to their body, because their body forces them to be someone. The body forces cycles on them. And it's the same with us men, but it happens differently. It's very top down versus bottom up. And what I mean by top down versus bottom up, one is in the body, bottom, top is in your head. And if you're thinking your way through problems that are happening from the bottom. Be it in your company, in your body. in your household. Look at how the behaviors are showing up with your kids and you'll start to see patterns. You'll start to unlock and realize that there is a lot more information that's given to you that maybe you didn't see before. Maybe you missed these pieces because these pieces of information, if you listened to them and actually started paying attention to them, you'd actually start to realize that the problem is not what you thought it was. like when it comes to modern medicine. Often the doctor, the GP, the specialist will treat the symptom based on what you're presenting. They rarely ask questions around lifestyle and if they do it's quite superficial and they very even more rarely ask what could be the underlying root cause here. When you start to collect information, when you start to listen, there is an innate noise message that is transcribed that is sitting there waiting for you to read it waiting for you to hear it waiting for you to see it whatever way shape or form it comes to you in that right there is worth so much money is worth so much energy and so much time because the amount of time it takes for you to unlearn that skill of being connected to yourself and understanding how to listen and tap in and tune in Many men, many dads, especially are disconnected from that because we are conditioned to really stay in the perceived fears and worries about our future. And the only way we can really connect to that is through what we have now. We become worried about money, we become worried about education, do we know enough? Are we skilled enough? Am I getting paid enough? Can I afford to pay my bills? Et cetera, et cetera, which disconnects us even further away from being in our body and sticking in our head. Which in turn, what ripple effect does that have on your household? It will take you away from being present with your family. this is not a one time solution that you can just get into your body and just be present. No, this is consistent work. This is consistent effort. This is the bridge that you have to build between doing the work on yourself and actually embodying it. Because true leadership comes from people who can trust themselves enough to move forward anyway. People only follow people who actually trust themselves and take the lead. If you're saying that you want to do something and you're not actually following it. It's not very embodied. In fact, it probably becomes quite sticky living in your head. And that doubt, that frustration, that guilt of not starting, of not following through. It gets you further disconnected from your heart, from your body, which takes you even further away from being connected to your partner, to your kids, to your family. So that's it, that's what I wanted to share with you today. The more embodied, the more connected you are with yourself, the more communication you will have, the better communication you'll have, the better listening capabilities, the more engaged, the more involved you'll be. And if you're more involved with life itself, you'll probably start to enjoy it little bit more. That's just my two cents. And that's all it's worth. But if you become more involved with the game that you're playing... Who knows, maybe you might just enjoy it. So if you found today's episode helpful, I want you to share it with just one person. If you haven't found it helpful, tell me. I did not find this helpful. Do better, because I want to hear that too. And if you found Thank you so much for tuning in today. I look forward to seeing you in tomorrow's episode.