Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.70 | Failing Forward & Pivoting Your Way to Success w/ Keynote Speaker, Jaclyn Gallo

Transcript

Ep.70 | Failing Forward & Pivoting Your Way to Success w/ Keynote Speaker, Jaclyn Gallo · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast, the show for intentional business owners and curious minds looking to combine the inner work and outer work to create a life, business, and career that feels deeply fulfilling and wildly aligned on all levels.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_03: We're your hosts.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Shay.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm Mariah.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: We're two business strategists passionate about rewriting the rules to success in a way that combines both strategy and energetics.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: So this podcast started with both of us being in the online business world, craving more deep, meaningful, and transparent conversations.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: So we decided to come together and create a space to do just that.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: Our guest interviews highlight cool humans doing cool shit, chasing their dreams, and going down their own rabbit holes to create a more sustainable and fulfilling life in whatever way that means for them.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: We see this podcast as everything that people won't share on social media.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: We don't give a fuck about highlight reels or proven frameworks.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_03: We love getting in the weeds, asking the tough questions, and doing the work to create a life and career we love, all while committing to ourselves and our personal growth.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_03: Because only through that lens can we truly create a lifestyle that feels good from the inside out.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Are you ready to trust the nudge and let curiosity guide the way?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because we're excited to shake shit up and live outside the box with you.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back, my friends, to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: If this is your first episode, what's up?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: You are in for a true treat.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Seriously, like I connected with Jaclyn, I think at this point it was a couple months ago, but we ended up connecting in a networking call.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: And then she put out there, like, hey, if anybody's interested in like hopping on a coffee chat, and like instantly it was like my my curiously guided uh antennas went up and I was like, ooh, yes.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I like wrote on her website and ended up like connecting with her on LinkedIn and I kind of just like shot my shot and I was like, hey, you were on this networking call.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: I would love to kind of just hop on a coffee chat and kind of just get to know you.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: And she obviously said yes because like she ended up also saying yes to being a guest on this podcast, but her story is so fucking good.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's so good.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: And like as you're hearing her speak, I even joke in the episode, I'm like, I think this is like the longest period of time where me and Shay don't try to like interrupt anybody, like saying anything, because Jacqueline just like takes you on a journey with her stories.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like I could listen to her speak for literally hours, but it's not just like the way that she tells the stories, it's the juice and the magic that's like you can feel it.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's the power behind the stories that just hits at a really deeper level.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I feel like if you were looking to get inspired, if you were looking to kind of uh like uh switch your perspective in the way that you look at failure, I think that this episode is going to be perfect.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: I came away from this with so much more clarity on things.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I just love the tangible tips.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like a lot of the times when like you listen to a keynote speaker or just like a podcast episode, and people are really good at storytelling.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's like, okay, well, like where's the tangible stuff?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what can I do?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like, your story is great, but like what can I do to take this a step further?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: And she fucking nailed that too.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I really love this episode.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: I love everything that we dove into.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: It's just such a great overview of like everything that we talk about on this podcast, essentially.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's like she didn't even really know about this podcast.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: Then she comes on it and she's basically like spitting shit that we're already saying all of the time.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: So it was super validating.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Jacqueline is absolutely curiously guided.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: And it was really, you know, when we first reached out to her, we wanted to do more public speaking.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: And so that was the initial motivation.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_03: When you reach out to me, you're like, hey, you and I both want to speak more.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: I just met this person.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: Let's have a run and talk about public speaking.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: And to be honest, the episode really it does talk, we talk about her public speaking, but it's more about her story of getting there.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: And it it was a lot more deep than I thought the episode would be, especially around how to deal with shame and fear and being out here in this wild, wild west of an online business world, it requires us to fail a lot.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: And Jaclyn just has her story of getting into speaking is still blowing my mind.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I think one of the biggest fears a lot of us have around putting ourselves out there and speaking is like, well, what do I have to talk about?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: What do I have to say that's so valuable?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: I haven't accomplished anything miraculous, I haven't moved any mountains.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_03: And Jacqueline was in the same spot and she just like turned, turned that into gold.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's really an inspiring, uplifting, encouraging story that to me made it feel like, oh, we can, we all can do this.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_03: We all have magic inside of us, we all have something special to share and like just go after it.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: And and um, I really was uh encouraged by her perspective on failure and how to really take it and turn it into something.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_03: And um I I I really liked, you know, Mariah and I talk about the power of taking baby steps, I feel like in every single episode.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_03: Jacqueline is a perfect example of not really having the endpoint figure it out, but taking a look, taking inventory at what she has right now, asking herself, how can I make the best out of this situation?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_03: And then taking the next meaningful step forward.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: And that really is the skill in all of this.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_03: And so I hope you guys find her story as encouraging as we did.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, let's jump into our bio.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_03: Jaclyn is a speaker, writer, and life coach, inspiring others to create lives that spark the light inside them.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: She's a two times best-selling author, host of the top 100 podcast, Spark Your Light, and TEDx speaker who has delivered keynotes across the globe to organizations including Deloitte and Comcast and BC Universal.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_03: Jacqueline is also the founder and CEO of Spark Your Light Studios, a media company that has proudly reached millions of women in 96 countries.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_03: Jaclyn's work has been featured by Forbes, Elite Daily, Bustle, and Good Morning Washington.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_03: And now we're excited to feature her on our podcast.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: Let's dive in.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: All right, Jacqueline.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I have been looking forward to this episode ever since we connected.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was like maybe a couple months, a couple of weeks ago now.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: And what really drew me to you, we connected in a networking group and like your story and how you found your story and just like what you do professionally as like a keynote speaker and an author.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: I just think that there's there's so much inspiration and kind of juice there, and just like how you've been able to get to the place that you are now.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: So before we get into that, can you just take us back to the beginning?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how, like, where did all of this start?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like a keynote speaker, I feel like me and Shay talk about all the time.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: We're like, oh, we want to be speakers and stuff like that.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: But then it comes to like, what the fuck are we gonna talk about, dude?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, how did you figure out what to talk about?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: How did you get here?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I would say the speaking thing started intentionally back in 2018, but unintentionally in 2016, which is kind of a cool thing because I believe that we're often being guided and there's lessons that we need to learn in order to achieve our goals and our higher vision.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes those lessons come with lots of failures.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's how it started for me back in 2016.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: I did a corporate internship.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I was a junior in college.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: I did not love it.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: I liked it, but I felt like something was missing.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was kind of at 80% happiness, which I think is a dangerous place to be because a lot of people stay there because us humans, we're more motivated to move away from pain than we are to move towards pleasure.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: And there wasn't much pain at that 80%, right?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: But there was this really strong voice inside of me that I know is my intuition.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I've always been the kind of person to listen to my heart, wear my heart on my sleeve, even as a young girl, you know, dating and all those things.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just felt like that's kind of who I was.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I was the kind of person to be willing to take a risk at a young age and trust my intuition.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I decided to start a business.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: And my first idea was a physical product.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: It was these plates that encourage more balanced eating, because I struggled with disordered eating in college.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt like having more balanced meals really helped me.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought other women are struggling with this.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: So let me try to help them.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: It ended up being an epic failure for a lot of reasons.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: I learned a lot of lessons.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: But what it led to was speaking, because through that process, I started giving these little talks at colleges to share about my product.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then when the product failed, I tried to make it into an app, which also failed.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: So this was a span of about two and a half years of just failed startup ideas, lots of wasted money, money that I didn't even have because I was a kid.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I raised money on Kickstarter, I won money in pitch contests, and I used credit cards.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: And in the end of 2018, I felt like a complete failure.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: At this point, both the ideas had just tanged.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew that there was no turning back.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know what to do.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know if I should get a job.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: I was out of college a few years, living at home with my parents, watching my friends thrive, get promotions, get raises, you know, move out, get nice apartments.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: And here I was in my parents' house, feeling like a failure, feeling embarrassed, feeling shame, because everyone I knew knew that Jacqueline was trying these entrepreneurial ideas and they were all failing.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't know what to do, but I believe that when we're in those moments, sometimes we're gonna get signs that are outside of us that are gonna guide us.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's exactly what happened for me.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: I was scrolling Facebook, and the amount of ads I've come across on Facebook in my entirety of having a Facebook page, probably since I was 16, it's limitless.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I've ever bought something from a Facebook ad.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: I probably have unconsciously seen like that pair of shoes, and then I heard about them from a friend, and then I bought them.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm not one to click a bunch of things.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's not my personality.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I saw this ad and it said um something about like women becoming paid keynote speakers.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: And it sparked me.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: It just lit something up inside of me.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: I had this really strong reaction.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you guys know human design, but I'm a generator.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like, and I didn't know that then, but I feel like wow, this is a perfect example of that.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I just wanted to speak.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just I never heard of it before.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: I never knew it was a career.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: I never knew people got paid to do it.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: I never even went to a conference.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not kidding.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: Unless it was like at school, right?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like something that I had to go to, or like a I guess I knew about speaker events in college because they would bring in, you know, bigger speakers, but they were like famous people.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know that this was a career, but this sparked me.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I decided to sign up for this online course, um, which for the record is called Mic Drop Workshop by Jess Ekstrom.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm an affiliate for it.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's a great course.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, anyways, it was a thousand dollars.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: I did not have the money, put it on my credit card, and I just decided that I was gonna go all in on doing this, but I had a lot of inner work to do around my identity because I felt like I was a failed entrepreneur and I felt like I had nothing to say and nothing to share that anyone would want to hear because I was a failure.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: I also had a lot of insecurity about my age.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: I think I was maybe 23 or 24.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so I felt like I was too young and that no one would take me seriously.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't have enough experience, but I just felt strongly in my heart that it was what I was supposed to do.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know why.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I think those are always things we should listen to.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I spent some time really working on all of that, all of the shame, all of the fear, and what I was able to work through through lots of books and journaling, really, just reading about our mindset and confidence and just really getting clear on what I was feeling and why I was feeling it.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: There were a few changes I had to make.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: The first one was to find a space that I felt confident in.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: You can either build your confidence or you can go somewhere that you already feel confident.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's two options.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think I was at a really low point to where building my confidence was gonna be really hard.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I also think that sometimes confidence comes with action.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that on a lot of self-help podcasts and, you know, in books, we're often taught just like believe in yourself more and do these affirmations.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then all of a sudden you're gonna feel more confident.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I do believe in mindset work and rewiring your brain and all of these things, but I believe they're most effective when paired with action.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so a big part of my confidence that came later was from the action I was already taking in the space I already felt confident in.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: So it was a really great place to start.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that space for me was colleges because I felt like I could relate to the students.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: I was only a few years older than them, but I had really valuable advice from those first few years.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was trying to figure out what to speak about, I decided to speak about failure because at the time I wasn't confident in success.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't feel successful.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: And that was okay.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't force myself to change that at the time.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: I decided what do I feel confident in?
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's that I'm willing to fail.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: And most people aren't.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: Most people would have stayed at that 80% happiness and struggled for the next 20 years and then looked back on their life at 45, wondering why they're not happy.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that's something that I never had in me.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was always willing to fail.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so I wanted to teach people to be more willing to fail and to be more resilient during tough times because here I was still showing up after spending probably about$50,000 total on these failed ideas, years of my time.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought that was valuable.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really about with anything that you want to share and impact the world, finding the value that you have and finding the space you're already confident in.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: And that was a really great place to start because I didn't have the confidence to do much else.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that was kind of like my trampoline point.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then everything grew from there.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: And my keynote on failure and resilience is still my most popular and well-booked keynote.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's changed lots over the years because I've learned and I have evolved and I have new stories, new experiences.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: But it's the core of my message still, which is pretty fascinating.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, that is the coolest origin story.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for sharing.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_03: Excuse me, thank you for sharing that with us.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I have a million rabbit holes I want to dive down already.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: But one theme that we've been exploring this season of the podcast is kind of um embracing the darker sides, you know, like the shame, the fear, and the power at facing them, honestly, and shining light on them.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_03: So, do you mind backtracking us to that point as much as you can remember?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: What were some of the big pivots that you had or like revelations?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: Because I think this is the block point for a lot of our listeners.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, I have this desire, I have this spark, but like getting over all of this masking and deprogramming and all of that stuff I've done to fit in feels impossible.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're comfortable, do you mind sharing with us some of the shifts that you made throughout that process?
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really cool because sometimes I journal in a physical journal.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I journal so much.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a huge core of who I am that I actually don't keep all my journals.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: I would just have a basement filled with them.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I do keep journals where I write goals.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: I have like separate journals where I write my goals.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I can always look back on my life and say, you know, this year and this date, I was writing down this goal.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I also occasionally journal in my phone.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's usually when it's like really a strong desire that I have to get something out, whether it's positive or negative.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't have a journal on hand.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: And what's really cool is that I have a journal entry that I wrote in that place of shame.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I never deleted it, obviously, because this is gold.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I went back and I read it when I was giving a TED talk a couple of years ago.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: And it was about courage and I wanted to go to that exact moment.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's literally what the TED Talk is about.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: How come in that moment where I felt all of this, I could keep going, but some other people can't, right?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what is the gold here?
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so I thought, well, the best way to figure that out is like go back, really go back.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Cause sometimes it's hard when you're years later and you feel more confident and feel more happy to take yourself back.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: So the journal entry is amazing because it took me back.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: And something fascinating that I found in the journal entry is 99% of it was filled with all of the negative.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was filled with things like I don't want to suffer for years and be miserable along the journey.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know if it's worth it.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: The delayed gratification and the stress and the uncertainty.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't know if it's for me.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: There was a lot of confusion and just questioning.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: But 1% of it had hope.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: It had things like, but I don't want to sell myself short because I know I can do this.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: I found that really fascinating because I think that that is the reason I kept going.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's not that you need to be filled with tons of self-belief in a time of shame.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: But that deep inner knowing, it's like your soul, this spiritual you, the you that is most connected.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: We all have that.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: When we get into a place of meditation or when we feel sparked by something, when we watch something or listen to something that inspires us, there's a part of you I know every single person listening will agree that's like maybe I can.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's really quiet.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: And when you're in a period of shame and of not enoughness, and of I remember I to take you back to really paint the picture, I couldn't even do my laundry, I couldn't even take a shower.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: I was down, I was low.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: And despite all of that, there was still that voice.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: It was so soft, it was barely a whisper, but it was there.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: And what I didn't know at the time is that just listening to that voice for the teeniest step could create momentum.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I started doing.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: And the first step was literally take a shower, do your laundry.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: It was so small.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when people talk about resilience and picking yourself back up after a failure or picking yourself back up when you're feeling really down, oftentimes it's these, it's these big things.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: But the truth is it was really little things, but it was dominoes.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: And by pushing that first domino of, you know, there's a part of me that thinks I can, and that part of me says to take a shower, the most basic thing in the entire world.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: The dominoes started falling.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: And these small steps of just being more self-aware, journaling more about the way I was feeling, asking myself, how could I shift this?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it started taking me down different rabbit holes of things that I really needed to work on.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: And they were just so apparent.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, for example, one of the things I needed to work on was my story, both to myself and others, because I felt so much shame that the story I was communicating was shame.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: And that just created this shame spiral, really.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then when you bring that energy to other people, then that's a pity party.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the energy that I'm trying to pitch myself to land a speech.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: It just wasn't working and I knew it right away.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: That realization came from the domino of that little bit of self-belief and listening to that and taking one step and then another and then another and then another, because it led to opening a journal one day and it led to writing about how I was feeling.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't trying to fix it, I wasn't trying to solve it.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: I just said, How am I feeling?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: I never brushed my feelings under the rug.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: I always felt process allowed.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then from that place of feeling neutral or even a little down, but feeling like the emotion wasn't, it didn't have the static charge that it had at first.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I removed the charge from just allowing myself to feel it and allowing myself to accept what was.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's the place that you can heal it from.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Brene Brown talks about shame and says that the only way to heal shame is by talking about it.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: But we as human beings want to brush that down.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started talking about it and I started telling my story in a different way, in a way that was honest and that allowed me to feel like I wasn't hiding or deceiving or trying to fake something.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: I talked openly about how I failed, just like I talked about on this podcast.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I talked about it in a way that was where I wanted to go.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: I heard on a podcast, tell the story of where you're going, not where you are.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: And that really resonated with me.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, how can I be honest and open about my failures and these things I'm struggling with and also tell the story of where I want to go?
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started telling a story like this.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: I started two businesses out of college.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: They completely failed.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: But what I learned were the most valuable lessons about failure and resilience.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: And now I am a speaker who shares these lessons to college students and those who are in need.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Of these inspiring uh lessons.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt so good about it.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: And what was fascinating was I wasn't a speaker yet and I didn't have any speeches booked, but I started speaking like that.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: And now I know that identity plays a huge role.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so telling people that I was a speaker and showing up in that way and owning the shame that I felt that helped me form a new identity of seeing myself as a speaker.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember journaling on this too.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: I remember journaling, like, well, why am I a speaker?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I speak up when all my friends are like, what should we do tonight?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: And nobody knows.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the speaker of the group.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: I decide.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: I make a suggestion.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I have spoken at colleges in the past, promoting my products.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that was a speech.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: I just didn't call it that at the time.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I was finding all these examples of how I was a speaker.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then I started doing free gigs and then I started getting paid.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so one thing led to another, all from that domino of listening to the self-belief, being willing to go down the stories and not being afraid of the shade.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's so many different fucking tangents we could go down.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like this is the longest amount of time that me and Shay have not tried to interrupt a guest and like say something.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_02: Cause like we're captivated.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like you can tell that like you tell stories for a living.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: You're really, really good at being able to like verbalize and like take us on a journey almost to the point where it's like being a podcast host, I'm like, I don't even have any questions, dude.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I just want you to keep like fucking taking it away.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: But as I was sitting here and I was like, okay, Mariah, like you do have a job to do.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like we have to pull out some fucking questions.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I do want to go back to when you said moving forward, even when you feel down.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_02: I think that that's something that's not talked about because so often, you know, in like the world of manifestation and all of this, they're just like, how you feel is like how you attract the things.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so when you're feeling down, people don't want to take action because they're like, well, if I take action from when I'm not feeling 100%, and maybe I'm only feeling 45% because I actually do feel shameful about like all of the things that I've tried and failed.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: And to be honest, like I not on like a surface level, I don't think that people could tell this.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: But internally for me, like I have things where it's like I feel like I move fast and I'm always doing things.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like I move so quickly that people think that I'm scatterbrained.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so that holds me back from then pushing new ideas out into the world because it's like, well, fuck, dude, two weeks ago I was just talking about this, but now I want to talk about this and now I want to do that.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so I feel like subconsciously I kind of bring myself down.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: And then so it's like I'll get stuck in this thing of like, well, if I'm feeling only 50%, then it's hard for me to take action because manifestation says that you should feel, you know, feel the feelings of like how it's gonna feel and all of that.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like, do you have anything else to say in terms of like shifting that mindset of taking action even when you don't feel a hundred percent?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that topic.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's a misunderstanding of what manifestation is personally, because if you really get deep into Abraham Hicks or some of these manifestation teachers, that's not actually what they're saying.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: If we only take action when we feel a hundred percent, we will sell ourselves short.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: There are gonna be so many things in our life that we're not gonna do because how often do you actually feel 100% or even 80%?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it has nothing to do with even anything other than I didn't sleep well last night.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: I was tossing and turning all night.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just, I'm just tired today.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, I'm getting a cold or just basic that has nothing to do with your business or your goals or your dreams, yet you don't feel 100%.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I I think there's this myth of manifestation that you're not supposed to feel negative feelings.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's the myth.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's not the core teaching.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: The truth is that emotions are our guidance system.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: They are the biggest blessing in the world.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: And the goal is not to feel happy all the time.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: As human beings, we came on this planet to play.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's what Abraham Hicks always is.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's it's like a playground.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: And on the playground, we're going to fall off.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: We're going to have these experiences that create contrast.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: And that means that we're constantly going to want more things and we're constantly going to have realizations about what's next.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: But we wouldn't have any of that if we didn't fall off the jungle gym.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: We wouldn't know that we wanted to get back up.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: If we were always at the top, we would actually be bored.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not what this life is about.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's about fun and joy and fulfillment.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: So negative feelings are essential.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: They will never go away.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: They are a good thing, they are a guidance system.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: Scrap the idea that you're just going to get there and you're going to be happy all the time and that that's what you want.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever just felt completely like you've gotten all the things you want?
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then what's next?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, the depression rate is incredibly high among entrepreneurs who've sold their businesses for that reason.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's not actually all that it's cracked up to be once you get there and you have all the things you wanted, because now you're like, well, what's next?
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: What goals do I have?
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: Tony Robbins says that progress is what makes people happy.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's not the achievement of a goal, it's the progress towards a goal.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: So in terms of this place of I'm only feeling 40%, so I don't want to take any action.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: When you understand that emotions are just guidance, 40% because this thing is out of alignment in your life, or 40% because you haven't been taking care of your health and you haven't worked out in three weeks.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I know for me, there's there's two reasons I'm not feeling well, usually outside of an external extenuating circumstance, a family member, six, something like that.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's different.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: But let's talk about just things I can control.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: The two reasons that I feel 40% or 20% are because I'm not doing the things consistently that make me feel good.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, that's exercise, that's journaling, that's doing fulfilling work in my business, or because something is out of alignment in my life.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: Something that maybe previously was in alignment, isn't anymore, something needs to change, right?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so with either of those things, you actually have a GPS roadmap on where to go and what to change to improve that happiness, right?
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: So by just sitting around and waiting and not taking, you're not gonna get happy from just doing changing nothing when there is a clear change that your intuition has told you to make, that your circumstances have told you to make, that your God gifted emotions, biggest blessing of a human being, to have these, are telling you to make.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: So we have the roadmap right in front of us.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: And if we just wait around and wait around, then it's not gonna be supportive.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: That being said, I do think sometimes people take action from a place of I desperately need money, I don't feel enough, so I'm gonna go like post about this thing I'm selling.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not it, right?
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like that energy is going to be felt by someone else, right?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: I feel really lonely.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna go try to, you know, meet up with a friend.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: What's the energy you're approaching them with, right?
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: Is it like, oh, I'm so down, I'm so lonely, or is it, hey, you know, it would make me really happy to spend some time together.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: So one of the things that Abraham Hicks teaches that I love is to focus on what you want, not what you don't want.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you're focused on what you don't want, that's what you're attracting.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it doesn't mean not to take action from the 40%.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean just wait around for the money to come when you have bills to pay and you're stressed about it, or when you're feeling lonely and you want to get out of the house and make plans with friends, right?
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: But what it means is can you get to a place where first you feel process heal, accept the loneliness, accept the financial struggle?
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: It is what it is.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: I like to take my clients to worst case scenario and we create a resilience plan.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: So what would you do?
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's just pretend and they get physical anxiety sometimes on our calls.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: They'll be like, oh man, like just going there makes me feel super anxious.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: But okay, imagine your business does go bankrupt.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: We do this, and then it's like, what would you do?
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: They have a whole plan.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, I'm gonna move in with my mom on her couch.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna um start this thing because this skill set I have, I'm gonna build it up within three years.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'll probably be making this much money.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, so so what?
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: You have a plan.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: You have a resilience plan now, you have a toolkit right here.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: Interrupting the conversation, real quick, to give a shout out to this episode sponsor, the contract shop.
• 30:58
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• 31:06
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• 31:12
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• 31:21
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• 31:23
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• 31:31
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• 31:41
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• 31:45
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• 31:54
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• 32:06
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• 32:14
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• 32:22
  SPEAKER_02: All right, let's take you back to the episode.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes it's about knowing that the worst of it isn't so bad.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: And when you can go there, you can then allow yourself to focus on what you do want because you know that you're strong enough to handle it and it's not so scary, even the thing that really does scare you.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then when you get to that place, you can think about okay, how do I tap into what I want?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I have a really dumb story about this, but everyone can relate to it.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it was probably like six months ago, my husband and I were redoing our bedroom.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: This is something I had been looking forward to for many months because actually years.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: We moved into our house, we took his childhood furniture, we spent all our money renovating the house, and we had that furniture for years.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: So finally we were gonna buy new furniture and do all the things.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: I was going all out.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was getting the white bed spread, all the things.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I bought this white bed spread from Target.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: Love Target, and I brought it home and it just wasn't it.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was like weirdly wrinkly.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_01: The color was like too off way that it clashed with the furniture.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_01: I just was not feeling it.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, I need to return this.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I am unsure about returning a bed spread.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's already hard enough to like get it back in the bag, but I'm like, okay, I got it back in the bag.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: It somewhat looks, I mean, it doesn't say you can't return it.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like I didn't use it, you know what I mean?
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: But just felt like a weird thing.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I put it back in the bag and I'm already feeling the anxiety starting.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like I can imagine the checkout person saying, like, I'm sorry, like you can't return this, or it doesn't this you use this, like it doesn't look right.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I was probably like$80 or something, like that.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was uncomfortable with wasting$80 on a bed spread I wasn't even going to use.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't want.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel the anxiety starting.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it just happens to be raining that day.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: And there's like part of the bed spread that like, would it fit and would it zip?
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because I just couldn't fold it up vacuum sealed the way it was originally sealed.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: So it's kind of like sticking out.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so I go to return it.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's raining.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: I get out of the car and it like bangs against the car.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so the white bed spread has some like dirt on it now from the car.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, fuck.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, this is not good.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, they're not gonna take it back.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so my whole energy is like what I don't want.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm I'm having a full visualization of the woman telling me, like, I'm so sorry, you can't return this.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just getting so much anxiety about it.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then I realized, oh my God, that is what I'm going to get if I walk into that store with that energy, the checkout woman.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, can you imagine me?
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think I could return this?
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: She's gonna be like, What the, what's wrong with this thing?
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why is she so?
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's just so obvious.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: Your energy is literally creating the circumstance because the other person feels it.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: You don't even have to go into any of the quantum physics or any of the woo-woo stuff.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_01: Just like the person on the other end is like, what's with this chick?
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: There's obviously something wrong with this bed spread, right?
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: So instead, I literally sit in my car and start like meditating.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, what would it feel like to focus on what you want?
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: What play a movie in your head of going in there and getting what you want?
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I imagine myself being very calm and happy at the checkout.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, how are you today?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna return this and hand it to her.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, oh, the money's back on your target charge.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, great.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, move on with my day.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden I'm focused on what I want.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm in line and I'm telling myself the affirmation, I am safe no matter what.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_01: I am safe no matter what.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: I am safe no matter what.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: I can afford$80 if she says you can't take it back.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: The world's not gonna end.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: But our our physical bodies like to signal to us that that these things are the end of the world, like the entire world will end.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not true.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I was having a hard time focusing on what I wanted, even though I was able to go there in a visualization when I was actually in line.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: The only thing I could go to was repeating the affirmation over and over and over again.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: So my brain didn't have the space to think about anything else.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_01: It was just, I'm safe no matter what, safe no matter what, safe no matter what, as fast as I could.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I get up there and I'm pretty calm.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, Great.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks so much.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you should see it on your credit card in, I don't know, two to three business days.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, thank you.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: She said, Is there anything wrong with it?
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Oh, the color doesn't match my room.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, Oh, maybe you'll find a better one.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm like, Yeah, I hope so.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: And that was it.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I share that story.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's silly, right?
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's a silly story, but it's something we probably all have had experiences similar to.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: And our brains want to go to that worst case scenario.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: So when we're taking that action in our business of that I desperately need money or that I'm lonely, we want to go to that worst case scenario.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then we're gonna get that worst case scenario.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: No one's gonna buy your thing if you have desperate energy.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: No one's gonna want to hang out with you if you're the victim.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden, you know, I have no friends, nobody's hanging out with me, I'm the victim.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody wants to be around that.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: But instead, if you can just remind yourself that you're safe no matter what, remind yourself of what you want.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: Play that movie in your head, even just one time, and start to get that energy a little bit higher.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: Something Abraham Hicks teaches is that it's almost impossible to go from really low levels of energy to really high levels of energy or vibration.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: So instead, it's much better to slowly climb that scale.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they call it the um emotional guidance scale.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: You can Google it and it all the emotions are labeled, which is very fascinating because you'll see that certain emotions that are negative are more negative than others.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: So desperation is more negative than frustration.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're feeling desperate about your financial situation, can you just get a little higher and feel frustrated?
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a better place to take action from than desperation.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really about in those moments when you're feeling that really, really low and you know, you know, you don't need me to tell you.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know that this isn't getting you the result you want because just put yourself on the other end of it, right?
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: Put yourself as the customer, put yourself as the friend in your relationship, right?
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine that you're coming with whatever you're coming with.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably not gonna go over well, right?
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, so heal yourself a little bit with regards to just climbing that scale a little bit, repeating maybe an affirmation or doing a meditation or just doing something to shift that energy slightly.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want to wait forever.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want to just not take action and never sell the thing you need to sell, right?
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: So there's there's this really unique balance between is the reason that I'm 40% because there's an obvious change in my life in which this negative emotion is giving me GPS directions?
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it something that is coming from my focus being on what I don't want and what I'm afraid to happen?
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: And how can I just start to shift that a little bit before I take action?
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: This can be a five second thing in the bathroom, or literally like a quick thought shift in a meeting.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be something that you take an hour and meditate.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_01: I was in my car for two minutes and then in line preparing myself, right?
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a whole big topic and you have to be really self-aware to figure out where you're falling into and what you need to do.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_01: But all of the things for me always result in action.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, I'm gonna take care of myself first.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: So if I need a shower or I need to take a nap, I'm gonna do those things.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: But outside of that, I'm always gonna take action because I know action creates confidence, action creates momentum, and it's something that's always gonna move me forward.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_03: Man, you're really hitting on something, excuse me, that's very real in my life right now.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_03: Um, Raya and I are both rereading the book, The Untethered Soul.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_03: Have you read that one?
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_03: No, I haven't, but I've heard amazing things.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's on my list, but I have like a hundred books on my list.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_03: Well, right, right.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's been very helpful for me.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_03: And one thing that was a big game changer is exactly what you're talking about.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_03: Consciousness is drawn to disturbance, is what they talk about.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_03: So, like your survival brain is on the lookout for what is going wrong.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I noticed myself I had gotten into this trend of exactly what you're saying.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I am focused on everything I don't want.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_03: I am focused on all the negative that I'm completely blacked out from like where there is some slices of hope and slices of good stuff.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I've actively been connecting with what is the movie that I'm playing in my head?
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_03: Am I focused 100% on negative right now?
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_03: And how could I change that narrative in my head to at least be 50-50, right?
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_03: Because like we do not need to be 100%.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_03: So for me, just acknowledging that like evolutionarily, our brains were wired to be looking out for threats, cheetahs coming at us, you know, whatever.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_03: We don't have those physical threats as much anymore.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_03: So we've almost turned it on ourselves where we're like psychologically having these life or death battles.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_03: I have a very similar one that, oh, during COVID, I was practicing with cutting my own hair and I really messed it up.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I had, I was scared to go get my hair cut by a professional.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, she's gonna laugh at me and she's gonna think that I'm such an idiot for cutting my hair at home.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like I was like literally having like sweating and like freaking out, and I had so much shame.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_03: And that's so silly.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_03: I went and got it done, and she was like, uh, it looks normal.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_03: Like she didn't even realize, right?
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_03: So I was having a life or death situation about something completely made up that like wasn't real.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_03: So, yes, connecting back with safety, I think that is the first step.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_03: But I love what you're saying about what I've realized of like when you find yourself in those low moments and the focused on the negatives.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_03: I think my fix-it brain is like, okay, how do I go from bottom to top?
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I want to jump from very bottom to like elation.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_03: And that's not how it happens.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_03: What you're saying is it's more about the subtle shifts.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's more about finding that little 1% of hope and just starting there, taking the shower, you know, going for a jog, whatever that is for you to fill your cup, and then what happens next?
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_03: Because I'm low, and then I'm like, I know that I know what good feels like, and it feels so far away that that feels really hopeless.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_03: So instead, you're what you're saying is awesome.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like just find the little bit of good.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_03: Just change the movie a little bit.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_03: Be aware that the movie is even playing, honestly, is step one.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_03: And then step two, how could you maybe put on change?
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_03: I've been talking to Mariah, like change a channel.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_03: What's something different that we could put on and tell ourselves and then celebrate the little shifts, right?
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I took a shower.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, amazing.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, I did it, right?
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what's next?
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_03: That feels so much more optimistic, hopeful, tangible than like getting to like pure aesthetic elation when you're in those kind of low moments.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I think you're exactly right about confidence.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I've had so many people tell me, well, just sound confident.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_03: Well, just act confident.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, what the fuck?
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_03: How am I supposed to just just do it?
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_03: But you're you're exactly right.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_03: We've we've talked about on the podcast before confidence comes through proof.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_03: And even if, like I often tell myself, B plus is good enough.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like if I'm feeling low, I'm not at 100%.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_03: Me just showing up and trying my best is always enough.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_03: And it's always gonna get me that little subtle shift to then go on to the next thing.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_03: And it's a it's a practice in presence, right?
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_03: Like all we can do is focus on the now and the subtle shifts.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's never gonna be this giant leap, like I think we're all programmed for.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_03: So thank you for sharing all of that.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_03: That was just incredibly helpful.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm curious, and you've you've talked a lot about like spirituality and listening to your intuition.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_03: And the name of this podcast, Curiously Guided, is all about listening to that small voice and kind of building the muscle of maybe making turning the volume up on that voice.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_03: So, would you mind sharing with us a little bit about like what practices do you follow?
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: You've mentioned journaling, like in your day to day that really help you fill your cup and like turn the volume up on that small voice that can definitely get muted by all the loud negative things.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love it.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: So, the number one thing I found with intuition is that it comes when we have space for it to come.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I love taking long showers and I Know that I have great ideas in the shower.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I know it's because I have that space.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: And one of my favorite stories about successful, amazing women is uh Sarah Blakely.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: She talks about how she created a fake commute to Spanx.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, she would drive about 30 minutes on the way there and on the way back so that she could just like be alone with her thoughts.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I always try to create space, number one.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that if I'm feeling disconnected, I know I need space.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: But the ideal, this this is what I was saying earlier about like sometimes you stop doing the things that make you feel good.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like all of a sudden we we start feeling good and then we forget that the reason we're feeling good is because we do these things and then we stop doing them and then we don't feel good anymore and we wonder why.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so my ideal isn't, oh no, alarm sounds are going off.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really disconnected from my intuition.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: I feel off.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_01: Let me create space for myself.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, let's go on a vacation.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_01: I hate that mentality.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_01: Versus how do I create that space more consistently?
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_01: Exercise really helps me because even if there's music playing or I'm listening to something, I just feel like the chemical change in my body gives me new ideas and helps me feel connected.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I always exercise Monday to Friday.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_01: I always say um, like 95% of the time, and I actually pre-plan the excuses, which helps me too.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: So if there's a family emergency, if I'm sick, and then what qualifies as sick?
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: When are you know, like if you have a cold, when is it safe again?
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_01: I go through all of this so that I don't question myself and I don't fight myself on it and I just do it.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I consider even 10 minutes of yoga exercise because for me, it's not about, you know, it has to be a full hour.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it is, and that's awesome, but that's been huge for me.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, a kind of a fun practice that I do with intuition is trying to listen to it with small things, and this has helped me listen to it with big things.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I actually first started with intuition with intuitive eating.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: Do you guys know what that is?
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: So when I was struggling with my disordered eating, I went to this amazing dietitian who taught me intuitive eating.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's when I first started with intuition, but I didn't really know that it would transfer to other things.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I was working on just figuring out my path and I was reading books, I would try it with this isn't really a term, but I'm gonna name it this like intuitive dressing.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what should I wear today?
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how else should I dress myself?
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_01: And um with just like decisions in life that don't feel as important, I would just start trusting what felt aligned and I would own it and honor it.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that relationship I built with my intuition, that trust I had, it's kind of like a friendship that I like built over time and had enough trust in that when it was a bigger thing.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_01: Can I trust this friend?
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think I can because every time, you know, I've shared something with her in the past, uh, she's been trustworthy.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna trust her again here with this bigger thing.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's how it feels with my intuition.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I would say it's about the daily habits and practices.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_01: So the space, the journaling, the exercise, and also listening to it with the little things so that you have the trust already and don't have to question it with the big things.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's really important.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_02: I think that that brings in we we had a conversation earlier this season with a guest, Rachel, where we talked about using human design to prevent burnout.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_02: And so, kind of, I was just listening back to that uh conversation two days ago.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's really fresh in my mind.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_02: But essentially, like what we were all saying is essentially what you're saying.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's like building up trust with your intuition and listening to this voice, it takes time, like learning to prevent burnout.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like we can use human design and other things and like journaling as a tool, but like we can't shortcut the fact that it takes testing and tweaking.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_02: It takes you realizing, like, oh fuck, dude, I haven't been taking time for myself, or like, oh shit, when I didn't listen to my intuition, I like fast-tracked myself to burnout and that didn't feel good.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like learning signals from your body, whether you're going in one direction or the other.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like it's like building this muscle of learning to trust yourself in the deep, ugly, annoying shit just as much as the really good, juicy, magical shit.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_02: Because, like at the end of the day, like I believe something similar that like we're here in Earth School to learn and to evolve.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_02: And part of that is like evolving and learning about the relationship that we have with ourselves.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_02: And it's tough to see ourselves when like we're the ones inside of the jar and like we can't read the label.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's really good of just like, what practices are you doing for yourself?
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_02: How are you creating space and time to be able to come back to yourself?
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_02: I think all of this is like super, super helpful and important and just a reminder that, like, dude, none of us have this shit figured out.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_02: It is a practice for everybody.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like really about just like, are you prioritizing you, even if it's just for two minutes, even if it's for five minutes?
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like it doesn't have to be where you're doing like a two-hour Joe dispensa meditation.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, by all means, I love when I can do a two-hour Joe dispense meditation, but like it's about the really little stuff too.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_02: So I think all of that is really helpful.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_02: I'm glad that we went there.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_02: I would like to pivot the conversation a little bit into you finding your story and like really owning it because I feel like as we're getting to know ourselves and stuff like that, it's like we're learning how we operate and how we think and all of that.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_02: And then somebody's like, Well, what's your story?
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, well, my entire life is a story.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what do you mean?
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_02: And it feels really, it either feels really overwhelming or like everybody has the same story.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, how the fuck is my story special?
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_02: So I guess like as you were going through that process of really like personal development and self-growth and reflection and journaling and like really trying to tease out what are you meant to say in a way that only you can say it?
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_02: How did you figure out like what your story was?
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_02: How did you kind of finesse it?
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_02: How did you narrow it down and really focus it in a way that felt like it was in a container?
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_02: Because I also find like, I know myself, sometimes when I start talking, I'll have a topic and I'm like, oh, I'll give them everything in the kitchen sink, dude.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like I know this and this and this and this.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like sometimes the most impactful stories are short ones.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's like with all of this information and all of these like inner workings and dynamics that we have as a human, like, how do you start narrowing this stuff down?
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, great question.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's two ways to go with this.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_01: There's your personal story that's kind of your personal brand, and then there's using storytelling as a tool in communicating.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: So they're going to be different.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_01: So with your personal story, I have evolved my personal story as my brand has grown and shifted.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's a good thing.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's important to be able to shift your personal story as you go.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because the way I think of my personal story is uh, like you said, the kitchen sink.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_01: Let's imagine there's like all kinds of dishes in it.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't sound very pleasant though.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_01: Let's imagine, like in your kitchen sink, you're like making um flower bouquets and you're using it because like the water's dripping.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_01: So there's like all these different vases and there's all these different flowers that you could pick from, right?
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_01: To put into this big vase that you're gonna display for everyone who walks in your home to see.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_01: And that is gonna be your story.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's gonna be the thing on your website, that's gonna be the networking elevator pitch, right?
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_01: How do you pick?
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: Do I talk about college?
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_01: Do I talk about uh the time that I had an even story?
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_01: Do I talk about this thing?
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_01: Do I talk about that thing?
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many things you could pick in the story.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_01: So it's important to understand who the end user is gonna be.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like who's reading that story?
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_01: Who are you telling it to?
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes you're gonna have multiple versions of the story, right?
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna tell a different story on this podcast than I would tell when I was on a networking call about a potential speaking gig with a corporate executive, right?
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's just gonna be a little bit different, right?
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_01: I might talk about it in a slightly different way that I think is gonna land better with them.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I have lots of versions of this bouquet and I can put them in the closet and take a different one out depending on who I'm having over for dinner, right?
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's about going to that end user and thinking about how I can share this in a way that's concise, but also connects with people.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: So the vulnerability piece creates lots of connection.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: So being able to share some of the things that I've failed with have really helped my story resonate with people and land with people.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: And this is a really ironic thing.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_01: In the beginning, you're ashamed to share those things, but you force yourself because that helps release the shade.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_01: As you continue up in the journey and you get more and more successful, it's actually so important because you become more and more disconnected from the person you're speaking to.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so to be able to share that, then it's like, oh, you'll be a great fit for our audience.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_01: You'll be able to really connect with them.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it's kind of funny how uh that piece of sharing those like dark things in your story can also be helpful.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, share what you're comfortable with, but I've always found that sharing the vulnerable sides has helped me more than it's hurt me.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think it's ever hurt me, actually.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'll say that confidently.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_01: So you make the bouquet and you just do your best.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: You start where you are and you see how it lands and you tweak it and you tweak it.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_01: How many times have I rewritten my bio, right?
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_01: And you tweak it, and you just one step at a time refine that vase until it's just as pretty as you want it to be.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it it feels just as good when you walk in your kitchen and see it as it looks.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's really important.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_01: You want to hit on that because if it feels good, it's probably the right story for you.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now, in terms of using storytelling in your communication, it's a great tool.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_01: As you've heard on this podcast and many podcasts, when someone tells a story, it lands better with you.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: In neurolinguistic programming, one of the things that they teach is that stories communicate directly with our unconscious mind.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_01: Stories, metaphors, basically, is the term they use, but stories are metaphors essentially.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, versus uh someone telling us a concept is just going to our conscious mind.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_01: So it really helps someone make a change in their life without even knowing why.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: They'll just know it landed.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it's also easier to remember a story.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_01: So you might remember the story of my bed spread return the next time you feel like you're focusing on what you don't want.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_01: But if I just told you focus on what you want, you probably would have been like Jacqueline said, focus on what you want, right?
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's just not gonna land as well.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_01: It is tempting to share a million stories and you know, give them everything you know.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it's important to also remember how much our brains can take in.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_01: So when I write speeches, I try to give you know a few main takeaways and then like sub points underneath.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll try to only tell one story per point so that it really makes sense.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, there's something called like the sandwich uh strategy where basically you tell someone what you're gonna tell them, then you tell them the story, and then you tell them what you're gonna tell them again.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I might say it's important to focus on what you want and not what you don't want.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I learned this back six months ago at Target when I was doing a return, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why it's so important to connect with what you want.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so that really helps a person's brain connect with the story and make sense of it and not just remember the story.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want them to just remember the story.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: You want them to remember what the takeaway from the story was.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a really good strategy.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_01: Ultimately, it's about practice.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, with any kind of speaking or storytelling, the more that you do it, the more comfortable you're going to be, the better you're gonna get at it.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, by saying I'm not good at storytelling or I'm nervous public speaking, I don't want to go on a podcast, right?
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_01: That is holding you back and keeping you stuck.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_01: Instead, being willing to tell your story, being willing to speak up, being willing to raise your hand at a networking meeting and share about yourself.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_01: Those things are the building blocks to being a confident storyteller and just being yourself.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_01: If you can just allow yourself to be yourself, that is when you will do the best, ultimately.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_01: Forget all the theories, be yourself and speak from your heart.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: And everything that needs to come through will come through.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_02: My logical brain is like annoyed because I'm just like, why can't I just like logically figure out my story in like two hours sitting down with a Google Doc?
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_02: But it's like, you're right.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you're right.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_02: You have to allow yourself to like finesse this stuff out.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_02: You have to allow yourself to practice it, even if it's like me and Shay talk about like we verbalize to rationalize, where it's like we're talking in Boxer, where we're just like, here, dude, like I'm just gonna word them.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_02: And then I'm like, oh, wait a minute.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_02: I think I liked how that sounded, but it's like part of me because like one of my things is to be a speaker.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_02: In what way do I want to speak?
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not as clear yet because like I am an SEO expert.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_02: I can talk about SEO, but it's also like with this podcast, we're seeing like the combination of inner work and outer work and how they're so deeply connected, but they're so distant in the business space that it's like me and Shay want to speak about that.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's like, cool, then we will block out three hours on a Saturday afternoon and we are going to hammer out our story and finesse it and then pitch and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_02: But it's like you can do that, but then just reminding yourself that like that's the first version, and that's just like one action step, and you can't get to the end point without doing that, but you're not going just like the emotions, you can't go from like desperate to elated.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like you have to be able to baby step this stuff.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_02: So even though my logical brain was like, what do you mean?
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_02: I can't just like figure this out.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's like it makes so much sense.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I appreciate that.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm glad that resonates.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to share one of my favorite quotes from Marie Forlio Clarity comes from action, not thought.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_01: The amount of times I have sat down, I have written an IHELP statement for my business, done numerous coaching calls on it, called friends.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't use any of those statements that I wrote.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_01: I guarantee you.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_01: There's only so much we can figure out.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_01: What I like to do when I'm journaling or when I'm mapping something out, uh, when I feel inspired to do a brainstorm or I feel inspired to try to work through the story or whatever it is when I'm writing a speech.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_01: This is so tough because I have time deadlines.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times I, you know, give the same keynotes, but so many times over the years, I've started from scratch, I've redone my keynote, I've created a brand new talk or customized talk, and they want the slides by this date, or the speech is this date.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_01: So they don't even care about seeing my slides ahead of time, but I have to be prepared, right?
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_01: So it makes it even more complicated.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_01: But what happens is I sit down and probably within 30 minutes, I know whether this is going somewhere or it's not, right?
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_01: Whether I'm hitting a brick wall and maybe I need space.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe, maybe I'm not meant to have the clarity right now.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_01: My one best friend always says, you'll know when you know.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it reminds me, I don't know yet, which means maybe I'm not supposed to know yet.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe, maybe how I'm doing it vaguely is fine for now.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_01: And things have just gotten more and more clear for me over the years.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, for so many years, I was like, who am I?
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_01: What do I do?
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_01: And and figuring that out, even though I had, yeah, I had this story that I would tell, it wasn't so clear as it is now.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_01: And even like what my business does and what it sells was more like spaghetti against the wall.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_01: And now it's more like an intentional Italian dinner that I created.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm open to trying new recipes and putting new things in, but it's just different.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that comes from being patient with the process and allowing myself to unfold with it.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I agree with you that creating a container is helpful.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_01: When I write for like writing my books, I create creative containers.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_01: So this afternoon, I actually have a time block on my calendar, going to a coffee shop and I'm gonna write for a few hours.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter if I am so creatively blocked and I have nothing to write, I force myself to stay there for a few hours and the time that I decided I was gonna commit to and write or don't write.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: Sit there and try to jot ideas down in a notebook and think about what am I gonna go next or do some research, but work on the book.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I find that when we create space for creativity, it's just like creating space for intuition.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_01: It usually comes through.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_01: So by the end of it, I'm like, wow, I had that great idea.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a little more like walking through mud today.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_01: And other days it might be like, you know, running on a treadmill, although that's not really that fun.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe running in like a beautiful uh path by the ocean and it's just very easy and light.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_01: But creating the container is important.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's a difference though between a creative project you're committed to and trying to figure out something you don't yet have clarity on in your life.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe the reason you can't figure out the story is because you're not quite clear on the direction you're going, right?
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you can teach it to a first grader, then you understand it.
• 1:02:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so the same thing is true here, right?
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like the more clear I've gotten on where I'm going and who I am, the easier it is for me to explain it.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so, in all of the times that I've been blocked and I was spending those times writing those IHEL statements and this and that, it's because I didn't know.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_01: If I knew, then this wouldn't, we wouldn't even be dedicating that time.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_01: So just good food for thought.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes maybe you're not meant to know yet.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes maybe exactly where you are is enough.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_01: And when you look back, it unfolds and it makes sense.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_01: If I had picked a stupid IHELP statement a year ago when I was trying to create one about my coaching, I totally changed my coaching.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's something completely different than it was a year ago.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so maybe the universe was saving me that time and that energy because it saw my future and how I was gonna evolve.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes I think it's worth being aware when we're spiraling.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_01: And my rule, I'll close with this.
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_01: My rule is that I've taken 30 minutes or so and I'm working on something, not a creative block, so not a creative container.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_01: So not like a podcast recording or writing, but more so like trying to figure something out.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm gonna figure out how I'm gonna make more money or I'm gonna figure out my story or, you know, figure out this thing.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it's been about 30 minutes or so, and I feel like I'm spinning my wheels.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_01: We all know what that feels like.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_01: I stop.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'll try again tomorrow, maybe I'll try again next week, but I don't spin my wheels because I don't find that that's ever gotten me anywhere.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_01: But it's different from a creative container where I'm like, it feels like I'm walking through mud, but creating this intentional space I know will serve me.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it's also about the habit of it.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_01: So even if I don't get anywhere with the book today, but I have the habit that I write every week, my book's gonna be finished in three months.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense and the difference between those?
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_03: And it's getting back to what you brought up about identity, right?
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_03: I am a person that creates space to write every week.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_03: And no matter what that looks like, I show up for it.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_03: And then all of a sudden you become that person.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_03: So you're doing the same thing you did with your speaking, but now with writing.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_03: I know you've written before, but I think that's really beautiful.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_03: I just want to pull out some like trends I'm noticing from hearing you speak.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_03: And one is that idea of like radical acceptance.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_03: Like, it's okay if you're not totally clear.
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_03: It's okay if you deliver your IHelp statement and it's not rock solid yet.
• 1:04:27
  SPEAKER_03: This is a step you need to take to get to where you're trying to go.
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_03: So I love in all of your examples, there's this moment of like, I accept what's here.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna fight against it.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_03: It's here right now, it's unclear, and that's what it's supposed to be right now.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's really beautiful and really hard to do in practice.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I love what you're saying.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_03: There's this constant theme of like, I'm not gonna try to force it, I'm not gonna try to fix it.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_03: Instead, I'm gonna accept it and I'm gonna adjust.
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna check in with myself.
• 1:04:53
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna see what subtle shifts need to happen right now.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_03: And then from there, I just let go and let God and see what happens, right?
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's really awesome.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_03: And I want to kind of pull together the power of story for you guys.
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_03: So we've touched on story in this episode in a couple different ways, right?
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_03: Where we're talking about the stories in our heads that we tell ourselves, we're talking about the stories that we tell in the business.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I've shared on this podcast before some of the worst advice I ever got when I started my business was I had a coach say she was kind of throwing shade at people who change their bios all the time.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_03: Like, don't be one of those people that change their bios all the time.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_03: And so I had this shame around like, I don't have this awesome statement that I want to rock forever.
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_03: And but I don't want to be one of these people that's seen as shifty and changing their bios all the time.
• 1:05:39
  SPEAKER_03: And that really held me back.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I think it was not great advice because this is a living document.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_03: Like, this is something that's going to shift as you shift.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_03: There's gonna be some days, like I've had an IHELP statement that I felt awesome about for a season.
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_03: And then I liked what you said about feeling.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_03: Pay attention to how you're feeling.
• 1:05:56
  SPEAKER_03: I started saying it and I was feeling awesome about it for a while.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_03: But then I didn't feel awesome about it.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_03: And so I that was a signal to me that like that needed to shift.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:06:06
  SPEAKER_03: But I think just if there's a lesson I can like pull from this, it's like taking an inventory of the stories that are going on where we know, like Donald Miller has made this idea of story really popular with story brand, but there's something really deep here.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_03: And that's I I'm in sales, and a lot of times we're selling video online these days.
• 1:06:28
  SPEAKER_03: And so I've been hyper fascinated by this idea like you can really only have like a 15 to 30 second video to keep people's attention.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_03: But yet we can go to the movie theater and sit and watch a two and a half hour movie.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_03: So like we know as a society our attention spans are turning into goldfish, but still we can go watch stories are what holds our attention.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_03: Stories are what captivates us, despite how much goldfish we're turning into.
• 1:06:51
  SPEAKER_03: Stories still are the thing, the vehicle that we can use to kind of communicate with each other and with ourselves, right?
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_03: And so there is so much power in story.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_03: There's the negative stories that you're telling yourself, there's the stories that you tell in your business.
• 1:07:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I think there's just like um, it's almost exciting in a way to like think about it the way you're thinking about it as like this fun piece of play-doh that in this life we get to play with and mold and evolve, but just being aware of the power of stories and the impact that they're having on your mental health, the impact they're having on the energy that you spread out in the world.
• 1:07:23
  SPEAKER_03: And then I think what you're saying is like have a more playful attitude around it, let it shift, let it evolve, you know, like what feels good today.
• 1:07:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's just so wonderful.
• 1:07:32
  SPEAKER_03: So I really have enjoyed this conversation.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_03: I think that you are like a wealth of I just like I have I wish I could show you guys my notes right now.
• 1:07:42
  SPEAKER_03: There was like so many different tangents I wanted to like dive into, but there's one topic I want to touch on before we hop off.
• 1:07:47
  SPEAKER_03: I can't get it out of my head.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's this idea of 80% happiness.
• 1:07:50
  SPEAKER_03: So I would love for you to just elaborate on that a little bit.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_03: Like, why do you think that idea of 80% happiness is something that holds us back or is ultimately a downfall?
• 1:08:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to explain to start what I mean by 80% happiness.
• 1:08:08
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that you feel happy or this 100% happiness, I guess, that we'd be striving for.
• 1:08:14
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that you feel joy, whatever that emotion is, uh, 100% of the time.
• 1:08:21
  SPEAKER_01: It means that you have ups and downs in your life.
• 1:08:24
  SPEAKER_01: But if you had a marker how you feel about your life overall and zoom out, it would kind of be that point.
• 1:08:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me, I am striving towards 100%.
• 1:08:35
  SPEAKER_01: But it doesn't mean that I'm not going to feel lots of negative emotions and challenge myself and have days where I'm crying.
• 1:08:40
  SPEAKER_01: And, but it means that I'm like lit up about my life.
• 1:08:43
  SPEAKER_01: This is what my whole brand is around.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_01: Spark your light.
• 1:08:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's about feeling sparked in your life.
• 1:08:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's what 100% means to me.
• 1:08:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I think 80% is dangerous because it's the mediocre zone.
• 1:08:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's the zone of things aren't that bad that I need to change them.
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_01: As humans, we just don't have that motivation.
• 1:09:03
  SPEAKER_01: We're not wired that way.
• 1:09:06
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really difficult to get yourself to change, to go from good to great, to go from a life that is pretty good to a life that sparks you.
• 1:09:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I want more people to be willing to make those changes.
• 1:09:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's scary because usually when you make those changes, you're going to go backwards.
• 1:09:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I also think that when you're pursuing something that sparks you, even if things really suck in the moment, your happiness is still higher.
• 1:09:39
  SPEAKER_01: I've I enjoyed pursuing my dreams, especially as my vision got clearer.
• 1:09:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think when it was messy and I was so lost and felt like I had no path, that was that was really hard.
• 1:09:52
  SPEAKER_01: But when my vision, when I had that clear vision, when I had that epiphany with speaking, I was like, this is where I want to go, this is the direction I want to go in.
• 1:10:00
  SPEAKER_01: I might have been at 10% in terms of my like financial security, in terms of not being stressed about, you know, paying basic bills and feeling like, man, I want to buy a house and I want to do all these things.
• 1:10:14
  SPEAKER_01: But I was at 90% in terms of my fulfillment, in terms of that feeling of I'm doing the things and I'm finding a way and I'm making it work.
• 1:10:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that lit me up.
• 1:10:25
  SPEAKER_01: So even though it's scary to leave the 80% and you might fear going backwards, in some ways you might.
• 1:10:31
  SPEAKER_01: In some ways, especially if it's a financial risk, which a lot of things that light us up are, especially if it's related to business, you might go backwards in some ways.
• 1:10:41
  SPEAKER_01: But in the other ways, I promise you're going to go forward.
• 1:10:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it actually relates to the stories because when you are in your brain telling the story of where you're going, that's what you're focused on.
• 1:10:55
  SPEAKER_01: That's what you're excited about.
• 1:10:56
  SPEAKER_01: And you start telling others.
• 1:10:58
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the vision.
• 1:11:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's not about where you currently are and the amount of dollars you're making from this thing.
• 1:11:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's about this vision you have for this thing you're building.
• 1:11:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that lights you up and your belief in that and that it's possible and that you're capable.
• 1:11:13
  SPEAKER_01: And those things are important to get you to leave that 80%.
• 1:11:16
  SPEAKER_01: If you're stuck there, why?
• 1:11:18
  SPEAKER_01: Do you not think it's possible?
• 1:11:20
  SPEAKER_01: Do you not think you're capable?
• 1:11:21
  SPEAKER_01: And if so, how can you work on those things?
• 1:11:23
  SPEAKER_01: How can you build both the mindset and take those teeny microaction steps to start to believe maybe it is possible for me?
• 1:11:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's really important and it's scary.
• 1:11:35
  SPEAKER_01: But if we don't leave the 80%, we will have regret in our lives.
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll quick share a quick story to finish.
• 1:11:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my why, I learned when I was seven years old.
• 1:11:47
  SPEAKER_01: My dad and I were running errands around town, and he drove by this corner pizza shop, a brick building, and he said, See that building right there?
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Yeah.
• 1:11:59
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, I almost bought it 20 years ago.
• 1:12:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I wanted to make it a deli and a seafood market, but my dad talked me out of it because I had two young girls at home and your mother didn't work, and it was just too much of a risk.
• 1:12:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel so much regret today that I didn't do it.
• 1:12:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember seven years old saying, Daddy, what's regret?
• 1:12:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't even need him to answer because the look on his eyes, I just knew.
• 1:12:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember at seven years old thinking to myself that day, I just want to live a life where I don't have to feel that pain that my dad feels.
• 1:12:45
  SPEAKER_01: And because of that, I'm not willing to settle for 80% because I know that I'll look back and feel that pain.
• 1:12:53
  SPEAKER_01: So connecting with your why and knowing that you don't want to feel regret.
• 1:13:00
  SPEAKER_01: A life of oops and lesson learned is better than a life of regret, and really having that attitude can help you move from that 80% if you feel stuck there.
• 1:13:11
  SPEAKER_02: I was just gonna, I mean, I was gonna ask another question, but you fucking answered it.
• 1:13:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's like you read my you read my mind, so it's perfect.
• 1:13:18
  SPEAKER_02: So basically, my question was just like, well, how do you build confidence that people need to hear your story?
• 1:13:25
  SPEAKER_02: And it's essentially what you're saying is like because you have a vision that's so strong that you don't want to feel regret from not sharing your story.
• 1:13:35
  SPEAKER_02: And that's how you build the confidence, is because you move towards this vision that you feel like nobody else can bring, and they nobody else can share the message that we uniquely are meant to share.
• 1:13:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that's how we build the confidence because there's no way around it.
• 1:13:54
  SPEAKER_02: There's no way that I'm not gonna buy that building or rent out that building and try to make that deli.
• 1:13:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that's how we build the confidence is like seeing it, and maybe it's not clear.
• 1:14:04
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's more of a feeling that you want instead of like a concrete thing.
• 1:14:09
  SPEAKER_02: But I appreciate that story.
• 1:14:11
  SPEAKER_02: I got chills when you were saying it because you can feel it.
• 1:14:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:14:15
  SPEAKER_02: You can feel it.
• 1:14:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like we've all had similar situations or stories, or like I've had similar conversations with my mom about things like that.
• 1:14:23
  SPEAKER_02: And she she was like, Well, I've always wanted to be a teacher.
• 1:14:27
  SPEAKER_02: I love kids.
• 1:14:28
  SPEAKER_02: And she was like, But, you know, I never went to school, and like I wish that I did, and like I wish that I took that chance on myself.
• 1:14:35
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like you can feel it.
• 1:14:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember when I was still living at home, it was like right around when I first started my business.
• 1:14:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I was in the shower, I was taking a bath, and I was like, you know, just self-reflecting, like myself, whatever.
• 1:14:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I started getting teary-eyed because I was so sad that my parents were never gonna hit this potential that I knew was inside of them.
• 1:14:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember being like, I don't want to feel like that.
• 1:15:02
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to feel like there's so much passion and fire inside of me.
• 1:15:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I didn't choose to take that on myself.
• 1:15:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so I feel like the generation that came before us, they didn't have the internet like we did.
• 1:15:16
  SPEAKER_02: They didn't have the unlimited possibilities.
• 1:15:19
  SPEAKER_02: They didn't have from every angle.
• 1:15:21
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like obviously with social media, it's both good and bad, right?
• 1:15:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, like with everything.
• 1:15:25
  SPEAKER_02: It's like we're always in a data with information, and so it's hard to hear our own thoughts, but also we're always in a data with possibilities and opportunities.
• 1:15:32
  SPEAKER_02: And there's so many different ways to do things that it's like it makes me personally really appreciate the time that I was born into because we have all of these opportunities and possibilities, and like we're standing on the shoulders of the people that came before us, and like they're a reminder that like maybe it is worth it because we don't want to feel like we didn't hit that.
• 1:15:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I appreciate you like bringing all of that kind of back together because like that's powerful shit.
• 1:16:01
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 1:16:02
  SPEAKER_02: And like obviously we have this inner story and this inner dialogue that can get really shameful and really negative and hold us back.
• 1:16:08
  SPEAKER_02: But it's like even if that never goes away, when you feel that fire and that spark that's so deep, it's just this knowing that there's like no fucking way that I can't take action on it.
• 1:16:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:16:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so glad you brought up your parents' struggles.
• 1:16:26
  SPEAKER_01: Something that my husband has actually connected me to because he's really passionate about history and he he likes like he'll put on history movies.
• 1:16:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, I guess I'll watch this.
• 1:16:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but something that he's connected me to is the sacrifices that our ancestors made.
• 1:16:39
  SPEAKER_01: He said, think about our grandparents, our great-grandparents coming on boats, literally sacrificing their lives, watching loved ones die on this long journey just to give their future family a better life.
• 1:16:54
  SPEAKER_01: And here you are afraid to take an action when your great-grandmother almost died, so that you could have a better life in three generations.
• 1:17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like that, that just moves me so much because it's like when you feel afraid and when you feel not enough, and when you feel like maybe I shouldn't, or maybe I should just settle.
• 1:17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Think about the people who came before you who sacrificed everything for you.
• 1:17:20
  SPEAKER_01: And you'll move.
• 1:17:22
  SPEAKER_01: You have to have a strong why.
• 1:17:23
  SPEAKER_01: A strong why will always move you, and you have to connect with it when you feel afraid, when you feel alone.
• 1:17:28
  SPEAKER_01: I agree with you.
• 1:17:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think those feelings are gonna go away.
• 1:17:32
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think fear ever goes away.
• 1:17:33
  SPEAKER_01: I love Taylor Swift, but I don't actually believe in being fearless.
• 1:17:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think that we are filled with fear, but our self-belief, our why, those things can be a little bit stronger and that will create courage.
• 1:17:45
  SPEAKER_03: That's so good.
• 1:17:47
  SPEAKER_03: And we've talked about like that fallacy of fearlessness before and like how that's like unattainable.
• 1:17:52
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's really poignant.
• 1:17:54
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for bringing that up.
• 1:17:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I'll share one if connecting back doesn't resonate with you, an exercise that I use.
• 1:18:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um, this is really driving me right now.
• 1:18:03
  SPEAKER_03: I literally think about myself on my deathbed and I say, Will I be laying on my deathbed regretting this?
• 1:18:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I have something right now that I've kind of put off and I'm like, yes, 100% yes.
• 1:18:12
  SPEAKER_03: And it's kind of shifted into like a number one priority because I don't want to be in that spot.
• 1:18:17
  SPEAKER_03: So I think that connect back, connect forward, but like that is such powerful advice.
• 1:18:23
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much.
• 1:18:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I know we're running out of time.
• 1:18:26
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like we could keep you here all day, Jaclyn, but we do have one final question we love to ask all of our guests.
• 1:18:30
  SPEAKER_03: And that's um, what is sparking your curiosity right now in this moment?
• 1:18:36
  SPEAKER_03: What are any kind of rabbit holes you're going down, or what's kind of like that new thing that's grabbed your attention?
• 1:18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this is the lame, but I think it's better to be genuine than say something that is cool.
• 1:18:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, I'm 20 weeks pregnant, and uh I am really sparked by just setting up my finances for my future baby and making better financial decisions.
• 1:19:01
  SPEAKER_01: And like I've been like journaling at night on like, how are we gonna like manage the money?
• 1:19:06
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I want to save up for this thing and that thing.
• 1:19:09
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I was never really sparked by that ever.
• 1:19:11
  SPEAKER_01: I was always sparked by like, let's earn more money.
• 1:19:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was never sparked by managing the money.
• 1:19:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's a very weird thing.
• 1:19:16
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's lame, it sounds boring, but I think it's just sparking me in this new phase of becoming a mom soon.
• 1:19:24
  SPEAKER_01: I am just ready to be uh a great money manager and be able to provide a really great future for our family.
• 1:19:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's really that connection to future.
• 1:19:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like I see a vision of my kids having a better life than I had growing up.
• 1:19:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to do the things that are gonna get me there, which also, of course, means growing my business and you know, all the things, but it also means like, how can you better handle what's in front of you right now?
• 1:19:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I think this is a great lesson for anyone with any goal.
• 1:19:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if you can't manage what's in front of you well, you're not gonna be able to manage the things that you want well.
• 1:19:57
  SPEAKER_01: So whether it's your business, your finances, it's important to take care of the garden that's already there and water it and it's gonna help you build a bigger garden.
• 1:20:06
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what's sparking me, taking care of my financial garden as lame as it sounds.
• 1:20:10
  SPEAKER_01: Not lame.
• 1:20:10
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think it sounds fucking lame at all.
• 1:20:12
  SPEAKER_02: I think that it's like super motivating.
• 1:20:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like I've had that spark in the past few months, just in terms of that too, where it's like, if I want my business to grow in a way that I see it growing, it's like your girl has to be better at fucking figuring stuff out and like sitting with the finances and managing that stuff.
• 1:20:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like when we connect that shit back to our why, it doesn't make it lame.
• 1:20:37
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 1:20:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like it makes it actually like powerful and motivating and inspiring.
• 1:20:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I appreciate the fact that you that you shared that.
• 1:20:45
  SPEAKER_02: And then we do, we lied.
• 1:20:46
  SPEAKER_02: This is the last question that we have.
• 1:20:48
  SPEAKER_02: So, where can our listeners find and connect with you?
• 1:20:51
  SPEAKER_02: I know that you mentioned that you have a podcast.
• 1:20:53
  SPEAKER_02: Can you just like give some some information about that?
• 1:20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's called Spark Your Light, and it's all about that feeling of being sparked of going from that 80% to that 100% in your life.
• 1:21:04
  SPEAKER_01: So if you liked this episode, uh, you would probably enjoy it.
• 1:21:07
  SPEAKER_01: So check it out.
• 1:21:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I also send a weekly newsletter.
• 1:21:10
  SPEAKER_01: So it's kind of like your midweek pick me up.
• 1:21:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you can sign up for that on my website, which we can link in the show notes probably.
• 1:21:17
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, I'm on social media, Jaclyn T.
• 1:21:19
  SPEAKER_01: Gallo and all the places, and would love to connect.
• 1:21:22
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, perfect.
• 1:21:23
  SPEAKER_02: We will put all of those lovely links into the show notes below.
• 1:21:27
  SPEAKER_02: And Jaclyn, we just want to from the bottom of our hearts, like we we really truly just want to say thank you for coming on and sharing your wisdom, sharing your stories.
• 1:21:35
  SPEAKER_02: I think that everybody's gonna really, really love this.
• 1:21:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I think we're ready to close this episode down.
• 1:21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Remember that you have the power to create whatever the fuck you want.
• 1:21:45
  SPEAKER_02: Follow the nudge, ask the questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 1:21:49
  SPEAKER_02: We'll see you in the next episode.
• 1:21:55
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for tuning in and listening to this episode of the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 1:22:02
  SPEAKER_02: We appreciate you so much for being here.
• 1:22:05
  SPEAKER_02: Truly, this podcast is such a joy for us to create.
• 1:22:09
  SPEAKER_02: If you love the conversation or you're a fan of the podcast and you want to support us in creating new episodes, feel free to head over to curiouslyguided.com slash support to buy us a coffee.
• 1:22:23
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• 1:22:31
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• 1:22:37
  SPEAKER_03: Reviews go a long way in helping us reach more listeners, so even if it's just a quick one, it helps us all continue to grow together.
• 1:22:43
  SPEAKER_03: We'll see you in the next episode.