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How A Solopreneur Can Set Client Boundaries Without Sounding Like a Jerk · The Life-First Solopreneur

• 0:00
  Carly Ries: You know you need boundaries, but every time you try to set one, you feel like you're being difficult, risking the relationship, or just being a jerk. Here's the reframe. Boundaries aren't confrontation, they're filters. They let the right work in and keep the chaos out, and this week, Joe and I get into exactly how to set them without the awkwardness. From handling scope creep like a pro, to response time policies that actually stick, to knowing when to fire a client entirely, this episode is your practical playbook for protecting your time, your energy, and your sanity without sacrificing the relationships that matter.
• 0:33
  Because good clients don't leave when you set boundaries. Bad ones just finally reveal themselves. You're listening to The Aspiring Solopreneur, the podcast for those in pursuit of a life first business. I'm Carly Ries, and my cohost, Joe Rando, and I spend every episode with solopreneurs who are proving there's a better way to run a one person business and experts who are helping make it happen. We like to say life first, then business.
• 0:58
  So let's get right to it. So last week, we released or two weeks ago, we released a boundary setting episode. And what's funny is since we released that, I've heard that, people setting boundaries, it makes them feel like a jerk. And so I wanted to do a follow-up episode on how to set those boundaries without sounding like a jerk.
• 1:27
  Like I just said, people assume boundaries equates to confrontation. Telling a client no, having an awkward conversation, risking the relationship, and that framing just isn't helpful. Better framing is that boundaries are filters. They let the right work through and keep the chaos out. And in my opinion, a filter isn't hostile.
• 1:48
  It's just functional. Do you agree?
• 1:51
  Joe Rando: I totally agree. Yeah. you know, I understand that maybe with that episode we were kind of saying to people, here's how to get rich, First get a million dollars. It's like, wait.
• 2:04
  Carly Ries: Yeah. What?
• 2:06
  Joe Rando: How do I do that? So, you know, set boundaries. So Yes, let's talk about how we go about setting boundaries and how that works.
• 2:16
  Carly Ries: folks, Joe and I have had very few meetings this week together, which is very rare. So we've been interrupting each other for the past hour. But what I was gonna say is I think what people don't realize is they already have boundaries that they don't think of as boundaries. You don't answer your phone during a client presentation.
• 2:34
  That's a boundary. You don't work for free. You just have formalized ones. The ones that we're talking about, they're just not formalized ones.
• 2:45
  But there are assumed boundaries that people don't consider boundaries, like I just said. And there's a belief, especially I think among solopreneurs, that being available around the clock is good service, and it's just not. It's a signal that your time isn't valuable, and that you don't have other important work to protect. I think it actually makes you look less valuable if you are available around the clock.
• 3:10
  And client Move up and Move up Split paragraphs want reliability. They want to know that when they reach out, they're getting a competent response, not a desperate, I'm at your service response. Like if you respond at 11PM on a Saturday, that sets a precedent that you're always available, which kind of implies that you don't have anything else going on.
• 3:31
  Joe Rando: My first Solopreneur business, I was a consultant. And I was doing work in fiber optics. I had this client, and they came to me with this project, and it was urgent, urgent, urgent. Needed it done right away. I was literally working till sometimes one, 02:00 in the morning.
• 3:51
  And I did this for, a couple of weeks to get this thing done from scratch. I shipped it off to them, and yeah, I made a lot of money because I was working crazy hours. And two months later, I'm talking. I'm like, how did that design work out?
• 4:07
  And they're like, oh, we haven't evaluated it yet. So, the thing is a lot of times, the point is that a lot of times urgency isn't really urgency. It's just people wanting to have it now so they don't have to worry about whether they needed it, later. And you really don't want to just assume that somebody that comes in with something urgent is really as urgent as it seems. And that's why having some boundaries, maybe you'll choose to waive them in a real emergency, but to start with that level of kind of saying, hey, this is what we do, then gives you the opportunity to kind of push back and say, Do you really need it, that way or that fast? You know, I don't work after six, I work weekdays until six. my own personal boundaries now, I don't work after six. I don't work on weekends. And, I break the rules occasionally. But, nobody holds that against me now because I've just said this is what I'm doing. This is how my my business works.
• 5:14
  Carly Ries: Well, I'm so glad you addressed response times because you can say it as simply as that, and then you can make them feel like they have a little bit of control by saying, I only check it between nine to five on weekdays. But if something is genuinely urgent after those hours, you can text me, and I'll get back to you within an hour if you text me, but only if it's a true emergency. And you can put in your scope of work with them or your contract, if the emergency is violated, Like, if somebody uses the emergency line when it's not a true emergency, they can get three strikes and then they're out. So everything is just in simple terms, laid out for them to see. And then it's not mean it's you're protecting your time. But you know what? Your relationship is really important to me. So if there is an actual emergency, you can text me. But please use that for emergencies only. then it kinda keeps the conversation open.
• 6:05
  Joe Rando: I'm gonna give you an idea, and you're gonna think I'm joking, but I'm really not.
• 6:09
  Carly Ries: Okay.
• 6:09
  Joe Rando: Let's imagine that you have I don't know. Let's say it's either a consulting business or a coaching business of some kind. but the people that you work with have the ability to message you. And you have two plans. You have the regular plan and the premium plan.
• 6:28
  And the regular plan is, you're available for messaging between 9AM and 5PM central time, and you'll respond within two hours during the work hours. And then the premium plan is, that you will respond immediately, up until midnight, weekdays and weekends. But the premium plan costs 10 times more than the regular plan. Nobody's gonna buy the premium plan, but they're all gonna know they didn't pay for it.
• 7:05
  Carly Ries: Right. Yeah.
• 7:07
  Joe Rando: And that just kind of says, well, obviously, I'm not gonna get that because I didn't wanna pay 10 times the other amount. And you know, I'm being a little bit facetious with the 10 times maybe, but, honestly, just price it the way, what would make it worth your while to be available like that? Maybe there's an amount of money that would. Maybe there isn't.
• 7:26
  But if there is, put it in there. And then that way nobody expects it.
• 7:31
  Carly Ries: Yeah. Absolutely. Well, so we're kinda talking about response times, working hours, and all of that. But then there are other boundaries that don't really revolve around these two categories. One of them is scope creep.
• 7:45
  And I feel like a lot of boundaries get blurred when it comes to scope creep, especially when things aren't very clearly laid out in a scope of work.
• 7:53
  Joe Rando: So let's define scope creep just to help somebody who doesn't know what it means. But it's you agree to do x, and the next thing, it's like, well, we're doing x, but all of sudden, oh, could you do this? Or, it would really be nice if we did this or if you did that, and now x becomes two x or, 1.5 x the amount of work that you budgeted. So that's scope creep, and it will happen. It is just in the nature of reality somehow.
• 8:18
  I don't know how it works, but the universe decided that scope creep was something that it was gonna do whenever it could.
• 8:24
  Carly Ries: Yes. And people get nervous to push back because then they're like, well, if I don't do what my client asked me to do, are they gonna fire me? But it can be a very simple response by simply saying, yeah, I can absolutely do that. It's outside the current scope, so let me send you a quick estimate for adding it on.
• 8:40
  It's called professional, no drama. You're not saying no. You're saying yes, and here's what it costs. So That you protect yourself but also give the client what they want.
• 8:51
  Joe Rando: Right. And that's why starting with a statement of work is really a powerful way to avoid this. So you basically have this document where you scope out the nature of the job, what's going to be done, when it's going to be done. And I have a document that lays this out for Solopreneurs. It's kind of a draft version that they can use to adapt.
• 9:16
  If you email me at joe@lifestarr.com just put statement of work or s o w in the subject line, and I'll send it back over to you.
• 9:26
  Carly Ries: And he really will.
• 9:28
  Joe Rando: I will.
• 9:28
  Carly Ries: Yeah. It'll be him.
• 9:29
  Joe Rando: When I check my I email.
• 9:31
  Carly Ries: Yes. Exactly.
• 9:32
  Joe Rando: it won't happen immediately. But the idea here is that by scoping that out, and then in there, actually talk about change orders and that it will be priced at $200 an hour or whatever, plus materials if that's applicable. But you just put it all in there, and then they come back and say, gee, it'd be really great if we could, add another section to this particular report you're doing. You go, great. Okay.
• 9:56
  That's gonna take three hours, and it's $150 an hour or whatever. So that's $450, and I'll send you a change order, they call it, and then you would send a document, simple document, says this is what we're gonna do. This is how the scope has changed. Everybody signs it, send a check or, pay online or whatever, and everybody's happy, and nobody feels like they've gotten taken advantage of. But just setting up in front with that statement of work is the magic that prevents scope creep.
• 10:22
  Carly Ries: magical. But also, let's say you're working with a client that doesn't have a very big budget, and you know they really need this, you really wanna do well for them, but you're also like, oh, but I really wanna get paid and blah blah blah. You can also say, I'm happy to add that in. I'll swap it with this other deliverable I was gonna do for you to keep us on time on the timeline, or to keep us in scope, or I can add it for an extra fee. So you can also swap it for something else you're doing if you really care about or if you know the client doesn't have a huge budget and you have a good relationship with them. that's another alternative , by swapping something you already were planning on doing.
• 11:01
  And so that way, kinda work with the client on that.
• 11:03
  Joe Rando: Yeah. it's always a good idea to work with people if you can. I mean, you might not have anything you can take out, but it's just, the idea of being expected to do extra work for free is, it's not fair, but yet somehow it becomes easy to ask for when you're on the client side. like I said, I'm not quite sure how that works, but I have experienced it many, many times.
• 11:29
  I could tell war stories. I won't. This is a short podcast, but it's definitely something to watch out for. So what else do we have in terms of setting boundaries? We got schedule. We have scope creep.
• 11:42
  Carly Ries: Yeah. I think those are the big ones that come up the majority of the time that I really wanted to land on today. Do you have any others off the top of your head?
• 11:50
  Joe Rando: Yeah. I have one. I've had this experience not as a solopreneur, but in another business that I have where I have some employees, of how people treat us, or, the way that people speak, the way that the relationship has to be respectful in both directions. And there are times there are clients that aren't respectful that you know, they think because they're paying you money, they can talk down to you. They can yell at you.
• 12:25
  They can treat you badly, bad mouth you, insult you. And that's a boundary that I am very much, in favor of enforcing. If you're gonna be rude, if you're gonna be insulting, if you're gonna be abusive, then we don't have a relationship. I literally had a situation where one of the people in the property management company got yelled at for something completely outside of their fault. And I just said, okay, well, we're firing the client.
• 13:01
  And I told the client we're done. And he said, can I apologize? And I said, okay. And the client apologized. I mean, I just don't believe that you should ever take that.
• 13:14
  And it's surprising how many people will back down if you confront them and say, that's unacceptable. I am not going to take that kind of behavior, that kind of talk, whatever it is. It's hard to put that in a contract, but it's easy to enforce it when somebody acts like that, and it's very worthwhile.
• 13:32
  Carly Ries: Yeah. Absolutely. And listeners, in case you haven't picked up on this already, Joe is just a really good guy. So he will stand up for what's right, and I'm sure that person appreciated it. But I guess, moral of the story for all this is boundaries will not cost you good clients.
• 13:47
  They'll reveal which clients were never going to be good ones in the first place. And that is not a loss. That is the filter working exactly as designed, which is why you should be setting boundaries. Any other examples, Joe? Is that all you have for today?
• 14:01
  Joe Rando: I think that covers it for now.
• 14:03
  Carly Ries: Alrighty. Well, listeners, thank you so much for tuning in. As always, leave us that five star review. It helps us spread the word to other solopreneurs looking to create a life first business. Share this episode with a friend, especially friends that are not setting boundaries the way that they should and you think they need to listen to this.
• 14:20
  And subscribe to our show on your favorite podcast platform, including YouTube. And we'll see you next week on The Aspiring Solopreneur. You may be going solo in business, but that doesn't mean you're alone. In fact, millions of people are in your shoes, running a one person business and figuring it out as they go. So why not connect with them and learn from each other's successes and failures?
• 14:43
  At LifeStarr, we're creating a one person business community where you can go to meet and get advice from other solopreneurs. Be sure to join in on the conversations at community.lifestarr.com.