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Your Inner Circle Isn't Optional: Building Your Ministry Advisory Group · The Healthy Church Staff Podcast

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: You're staring at a decision that could define the next three years of your ministry.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Staff hire, budget cut, program law, maybe a conflict with a board member, and then you realize something really terrifying.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: You have nobody to call, nobody to get advice from, nobody to bounce this thought or idea or decision off of.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: You could text your spouse or you could vent to another pastor who's just as tired as you.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: But who's actually gonna push back on you?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Who's gonna challenge your thinking?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Who's gonna who's gonna tell you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Most leaders don't have that person or those people, and it's costing them big time.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And if this is you, I'm glad you're here today on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast, because we're gonna talk about that.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, my name's Todd Rhodes, one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffing.com.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I am glad that you're here for this episode of the Healthy Church Staff Podcast.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Episode number 682, believe it or not.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I was reading a blog post, one of my favorite blog posts, blog writer or writer on the internet for church leaders is a guy named Dan Rylan.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of you know him.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: He wrote this recently.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: He wrote about unshakable leaders, and it really reminded me of how many of us are making massive decisions in isolation.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: You're making really big calls without really having a sounding board.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's you and you're like, it's me, I want to encourage you because you're not the only one that does this.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's what happens in a lot of churches you get promoted, you get busier, you get more responsibility, but you don't get more clarity, you don't get wiser mentors that are built in, you don't build a team of advisors, you just get that white knuckle feeling in the pit of your stomach, and the you hope you're making the right calls.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And when the pressure's on, sometimes you freeze, sometimes you rush the decisions, sometimes you put off the decisions, or you surround yourself with people who will only tell you what you want to hear.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's not really good leadership, that's survival mode with a little bit of a title behind it.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so why let's talk about that and unpack that a little bit.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't more of us build that inner circle before we need it?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the simples.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's really the answer because honestly, we think we don't need it.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're leaders, we should be able to figure this out, right?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: It could be because we don't want to burden anybody else.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's got their problems, I got my problems.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's already so busy, I'll just make the decision on my own.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we're afraid that we're gonna come off being judged a little bit.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they'll think, oh, really?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: You're asking me this question, you couldn't figure this one out.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: What if they think less of me because I ask for their help?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's because we just confuse informal friendships with intentional advisory friendships.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: You grab coffee with people, you have pastor friends, that counts, right?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Not really.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Not really.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Casual venting, which we are all I've never met a pastor that doesn't have a problem casually venting about things that are going on.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's not the same thing.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what we're talking about here.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Casual venting is not the same thing as structured counsel.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And affirmation, while it's nice, really isn't what saves you from catastrophic mistakes.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I you don't want to be needy, you don't want to manufacture some formal board of advisors, personal board of advisors like you're running some kind of Fortune 500 company.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: But you really do need to have, every leader needs to have two or three people who you know, who care about you and who aren't afraid to tell you the truth.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Not a committee, not a weekly meeting, just a small group of trusted voices.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: And hint, those people most likely are not a part of your church.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: They don't have a dog in your fight.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's why they can be honest with you.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: These are people who've been where you are, they've been where you've been, they've seen the sausage being made just like you're seeing the sausage being made.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: These are people who maybe lead in a different context but share your values.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: People who aren't on your staff, not on your board, not people you supervise or who supervise you.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this is about outside perspective.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, these are not going to be people that are going to be inside your church.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: People with no agenda, no dog in the fight, except for your own personal growth and God's glory.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the key you don't call them every week.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: You call them before big decisions.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you're calling them three times a week or two times a month, you're asking them for too much, right?
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: When should you when should you contact these people?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: When should you tap into this group of two to three people that really trust you and know you and will give you honest feedback?
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Could be before you hire somebody, could be before you fire somebody, could be before you launch something big, before you say yes to something that might actually derail you.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: You just call up those people and say, hey, here's what I'm thinking.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: What am I missing?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I off?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's just listen.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's critical that you actually just listen.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't defend, you don't explain away their concerns, you just sit with it.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because that discomfort is where your growth is gonna come from.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's wisdom that's gonna enter the room.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: So let me get practical just for a second.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: How in the world do you build your advisory group?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually there are some steps to it, but it's actually pretty easy.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: But I would encourage you, do this before you need it.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you need it, it's probably gonna be too late for the decision or the thing that you're really working on right now.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So first thing, number one, identify two to three people that you respect who've demonstrated wisdom and character.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Could be a former pastor, could be a church leader in another city, could be a mentor from seminary, could be a business person who loves the Big C church.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Not everybody has to be older, but they should all be mature.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: So that's step number one is identify those people.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: You you have two or three people that you really trust that aren't a part of your inner circle.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Pick those people.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then second, ask them, be direct.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, would you be willing to be a sounding board for me a few times a year?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Most people will be honored.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Seriously.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: They will be honored.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Ask them and be direct.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then third, set the expectation.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't a formal rule.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's no bylaws, there's no meetings, just hey, can I call you when I'm facing something significant?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then fourth, actually call them.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Don't wait for a crisis.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Reach out when you're considering something, not after you've already decided something.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then finally, and this was important, thank them.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Honor their time.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Let them know how their counsel has shaped your decision.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's really not complicated.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's really pretty simple.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: But it does require intentionality.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know what prevents most staff disasters.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: If we can be really honest, it's not better systems.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's not clearer job descriptions.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, it's leaders who make better decisions because they invited wisdom into the room before the decision was made.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: That toxic hire that you almost made, your advisor will see those red flags.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: The budget decision that would have crippled you in two years, your inner circle can catch those kind of things.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: The conflict that you were about to escalate, they helped you see your blind side.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't about covering yourself.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's about leading with humility and with wisdom.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's what Proverbs has been saying all along.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Plans fail for lack of counsel, but many advisors will help a plan succeed.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus had an inner circle, Paul had Barnabas, others who sharpened him.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're not supposed to do this alone.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: So here's your bottom line for today Isolation does not make you strong, it makes you vulnerable.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Isolation doesn't make you strong like we think it does.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It actually makes you vulnerable.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, you're not weak for needing advisors.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're wise.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And the best leaders that I know, they all have people that they can call.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: So build your circle.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: It might be one of the most important things that you do this year.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's advice from Father Todd today to all of my spiritual sons out there.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I really appreciate you listening and taking what you can, some of the low-hanging fruit.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Some days there might be some great truths here for you that you can grab on to.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Other days it might just be informational.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: But if today really spoke to you, I'd love to hear from you.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: You can reach out to me and tell me a little bit more about your story.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Podcast at chemistry staffing.com.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you're just like Todd.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know that I've got two or three people in my inner circle and just need somebody to talk to.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Happy to have a conversation with you.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: My name Pod is Todd, and my email is podcast at chemistry staffing.com.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: All right, that's it for today.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Hope you have a great day, and we'll be right back here tomorrow on the podcast.