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How can I take small steps toward commitment? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

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  SPEAKER_00: Fear of commitment is common and it doesn't mean someone is incapable of love.
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  SPEAKER_00: It often comes from past experiences like watching a relationship end badly, being hurt before, or growing up somewhere commitment looked more like conflict than safety.
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  SPEAKER_00: And wanting connection and feeling scared of losing your independence can coexist at the same time.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now, small steps toward commitment can start with noticing the specific thought that shows up when things begin to feel serious.
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  SPEAKER_00: It might be I'll lose myself or this will end badly anyway.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now instead of pushing that thought away, get curious about it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Ask where it comes from and whether it belongs to this relationship or an old one.
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  SPEAKER_00: As commitment doesn't have to mean one big leap, but it can be built in small steps, each one small enough to feel manageable, and each one giving you real evidence about how safe this particular relationship actually is.
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  SPEAKER_00: And practical ways to support yourself with this is to start with something that's low stakes.
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  SPEAKER_00: So that could be making a plan two weeks ahead instead of leaving things open-ended.
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  SPEAKER_00: It could be introducing your partner to one friend, or having an honest conversation about what commitment actually means to each of you, since people often carry different definitions of it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Talk to your partner about your pace rather than trying to hide it, as most people respond better to honesty about hesitation than to mix signals.
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  SPEAKER_00: And after each small step, just check in with yourself on what felt okay and what felt too fast, so you're building this at a pace you can actually sustain.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now, if the fear feels bigger than the situation calls for, or if it's tied to a pattern you can't shift on your own, or if past experiences like trauma or a difficult breakup keep resurfacing, that's a sign to bring in extra support.
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  SPEAKER_00: And a therapist can help you understand where the fear started and work through at your own pace, whether you're currently single, dating, or already in a relationship you're trying to move forward with.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now for more fear of commitment in romantic relationships, take a look at the app's resources.
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  SPEAKER_00: And if you're thinking about harming yourself and feeling safe, then please seek urgent help by contacting your local emergency number or a crisis helpline.