Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #228 A Birthday Crisis & Ash's Big Breakup

Transcript

#228 A Birthday Crisis & Ash's Big Breakup · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

0:00
Speaker 1: Quick one for you.
0:01
Speaker 2: Do you yawn when you're cold or do you yawn
0:03
Speaker 2: when you're warm?
0:05
Speaker 3: I yawn when I'm tired.
0:07
Speaker 2: Good answer is no, because whenever I get too cold,
0:11
Speaker 2: I get yawny, not horny.
0:13
Speaker 1: Sounds similar when you're cold.
0:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's that about?
0:17
Speaker 1: Not to judge, judge way, I don't know.
0:20
Speaker 3: Actually, when I yawn the most is if I go
0:22
Speaker 3: to the gym and I start doing some weights, I'm
0:24
Speaker 3: just fucking yawning.
0:26
Speaker 1: CO two.
0:27
Speaker 2: Can we look quickly look that up please, and let's
0:30
Speaker 2: see if that's great? Why do you yawn when you exercise?
0:32
Speaker 2: I believe it has something to do with CO too.
0:34
Speaker 4: You're yawn Feeling cold and yawning excessively often indicates that
0:38
Speaker 4: your body is attempting to regulate its core temperature, as
0:42
Speaker 4: yawning helps cool the brain when it's overheating due to
0:45
Speaker 4: sickness or fatigue.
0:46
Speaker 3: Wow, there you go.
0:48
Speaker 5: That didn't mention COO two.
1:06
Speaker 3: Welcome back to two Doting Dads. I'm Mattie Jay and
1:09
Speaker 3: I'm and this is a podcast all about parenting. It
1:11
Speaker 3: is the good, it is the bad, and you probably
1:14
Speaker 3: know this, but we don't give advice.
1:16
Speaker 2: No, and if you're your around here, You'll think, Okay,
1:20
Speaker 2: wasn't there an episode on Wednesday?
1:22
Speaker 1: You would be correct.
1:23
Speaker 3: I think when we did that video announcing two episodes
1:26
Speaker 3: per week, a few people were genuinely confused. I don't
1:33
Speaker 3: know if they were like in on the joke or
1:35
Speaker 3: if they were confused. Everyone's confused right.
1:37
Speaker 1: Now, let's clear up the confusion. Yes, please, every second Monday. No,
1:41
Speaker 1: I can't even.
1:42
Speaker 3: No, go do it on the right track. You're on
1:44
Speaker 3: the right track, keep going.
1:46
Speaker 1: Okay.
1:46
Speaker 2: Every week has a Monday okay, but alternating, which means you.
1:52
Speaker 3: Go, you've just made it, You've got you were on
1:54
Speaker 3: the right track.
1:55
Speaker 1: In theory, it sounds so easy. Fuck I need to
1:58
Speaker 1: pay for my parking, damn it. In theory it seems
2:01
Speaker 1: so straightforward.
2:03
Speaker 2: But trying to explain it not so much.
2:05
Speaker 3: We do Monday episodes, but they were every fortnight with
2:08
Speaker 3: a guest. We've now got another episode, this one, which
2:11
Speaker 3: slots in those alternating Mondays, so we now have an
2:14
Speaker 3: episode every Monday. Also paper Parking because I have some
2:18
Speaker 3: bad news about parking. Nah, fuck it, I have some
2:21
Speaker 3: bad news about parting, and I don't want to freak
2:23
Speaker 3: us all out because no, no, well no.
2:27
Speaker 1: They said it digitally.
2:28
Speaker 3: Now well yes, So you know how we've all been
2:32
Speaker 3: like I've forgot parking. We get to our cars and
2:34
Speaker 3: we're like, hey, pay, hooray, there's no tickets. Laura was like,
2:38
Speaker 3: they don't issue tickets in North Sydney, and I was like,
2:41
Speaker 3: what do you mean, Like they don't like they don't
2:43
Speaker 3: find people.
2:44
Speaker 2: They put you in a little black book somewhere and
2:45
Speaker 2: then when you least expect that, they're like, here's a
2:48
Speaker 2: thousand dollars.
2:49
Speaker 3: She goes because she would fucking get so many Laura
2:53
Speaker 3: when she was recording here, because we're in an old
2:55
Speaker 3: studio if people aren't familiar, but they don't issue the
2:58
Speaker 3: printed tickets, they just come in the mail.
3:01
Speaker 1: So changing my dress.
3:03
Speaker 3: I don't want us to all have a terrible afternoon.
3:06
Speaker 2: Well, we're all, yeah, this could tank us because this
3:10
Speaker 2: could put us under because we're also paying the fees
3:12
Speaker 2: of the new studio. We're it's we're gonna have to
3:15
Speaker 2: record out of the car. Yeah, that's that's the only solution.
3:18
Speaker 2: Maybe I've got it. Let's hire a garage. You could
3:21
Speaker 2: drive the car in, record, drive the car out.
3:25
Speaker 1: Because an idea did I take your idea.
3:27
Speaker 4: No, but I was going to say, maybe the car
3:29
Speaker 4: has good acoustics.
3:31
Speaker 1: The car does have good acoustics too.
3:33
Speaker 3: Crammed. Also the amount ash farts.
3:37
Speaker 1: What when did that happen?
3:40
Speaker 3: We we were working together on the studio, still working.
3:43
Speaker 3: Studio is almost done. I will say. I will say Dan,
3:49
Speaker 3: who was a lovely man.
3:51
Speaker 1: And ship sandwich Dan at all and he's.
3:55
Speaker 3: You know, he's very rugged. You watch him like work,
3:59
Speaker 3: You like him.
3:59
Speaker 1: He's drugged.
4:00
Speaker 3: He doesn't cut the tim but he just snaps it
4:02
Speaker 3: like a twig and he just like it's perfect every time.
4:06
Speaker 3: And I was like, wow, he's so masculine. And then
4:09
Speaker 3: he was like all right, little boy, do you want
4:11
Speaker 3: to have a go. And I was like yes please,
4:13
Speaker 3: And I was like what can I do? And he
4:17
Speaker 3: was like he was putting in the insulation and so
4:20
Speaker 3: it's framework behind the wall in the GAP's hands, snapped
4:24
Speaker 3: framework and then he puts in like the whatuld you
4:27
Speaker 3: call it? The insulation insulation, the fuzzy stuff, the fuzzy
4:34
Speaker 3: and he was just like he was like put ripping
4:36
Speaker 3: and tearing and put it in there. And he's like
4:38
Speaker 3: there you go, a little fella, and I.
4:39
Speaker 1: Was like, that's exactly, thank you so much.
4:43
Speaker 3: And then after putting in like two squares, I was like, oh,
4:48
Speaker 3: I'm pretty itchy.
4:49
Speaker 2: We're on the way home, we're walking to their cars
4:51
Speaker 2: and I've got a wash.
4:55
Speaker 1: I said, that's not from the insulation.
4:57
Speaker 3: I got a rash on my arm. Until Dawn I
5:00
Speaker 3: said that, please don't.
5:01
Speaker 1: I already text me bloody. He's got a rash from
5:06
Speaker 1: the fuzzy stuff.
5:07
Speaker 3: He was like, are you okay? And I was like,
5:10
Speaker 3: I was like, you crying and I was like, yeah,
5:12
Speaker 3: it's just a hey fever.
5:13
Speaker 1: He took an anti hista mey, but go.
5:17
Speaker 3: To the children. I was like, don't touch me.
5:19
Speaker 1: I've infected your patient zero.
5:22
Speaker 3: I didn't want the baby to get it.
5:24
Speaker 2: Fair enough, fair enough. So yeah, we're we're still working
5:28
Speaker 2: on that. I did drop a couple of parties.
5:30
Speaker 3: Just say pay for your parking, right, come on, I
5:34
Speaker 3: like to live life on the edge.
5:34
Speaker 1: My guy, Oh god, I haven't paid for park anymore.
5:37
Speaker 3: So we have to not waffle this episode because there
5:41
Speaker 3: is a sporting event that Vic needs.
5:43
Speaker 1: To get to cannot be missed. All right, let's just
5:45
Speaker 1: let's power through who week, all housekeeping.
5:47
Speaker 3: Every time I glanced to my right. She's like, because,
5:50
Speaker 3: like the official time keeper guy, Louis has one hell
5:56
Speaker 3: of a race coming up.
5:58
Speaker 1: Then she'll go down there and she'll be like, she's
6:00
Speaker 1: just going to run faster.
6:00
Speaker 3: I'm just going to run back to.
6:02
Speaker 2: Manly running late, just calling a bomb threat.
6:05
Speaker 1: They'll shut the whole thing down and you'll have to
6:06
Speaker 1: reschedule it.
6:07
Speaker 4: No, I'm not worried because he's got his little heart
6:09
Speaker 4: on his hand with the speed line. So, but Lois,
6:13
Speaker 4: Louis got across country today, so I would love to
6:15
Speaker 4: make that race.
6:16
Speaker 1: Well, my kid came first.
6:18
Speaker 4: I know I'm trying to beat you.
6:20
Speaker 1: What what what comes before first? Don't even start? Don't
6:24
Speaker 1: even start? Run backwards?
6:25
Speaker 4: Can I say?
6:26
Speaker 2: Though?
6:26
Speaker 4: I told Louis that if he wins, he gets a ribbon,
6:28
Speaker 4: and he's like, oh, is that it? I was like,
6:31
Speaker 4: but it says number one on it, the blue ribbon.
6:33
Speaker 4: I don't think he's seen one before, so he doesn't
6:35
Speaker 4: quite understand.
6:36
Speaker 2: Maybe he's just not a competitive kid. It was just
6:38
Speaker 2: a good thing because I can't stop him.
6:40
Speaker 3: I spoke to down about the number of tries that
6:42
Speaker 3: he scored on the Weekend's he done very well.
6:46
Speaker 1: Are they full contact yet?
6:47
Speaker 2: No?
6:48
Speaker 1: Are you worried about full contact? Oh my god, my
6:54
Speaker 1: boy boy?
6:55
Speaker 4: Even now, like because he's in under sixes and there
6:59
Speaker 4: are definitely moments where he comes off crying and it's like,
7:03
Speaker 4: how bad is this going to get when he's actually tackling.
7:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, it might toughen them all up.
7:07
Speaker 3: I think it's good.
7:08
Speaker 4: One of the reasons he was crying at training was
7:10
Speaker 4: he literally ran into the coach's leg.
7:13
Speaker 2: I got a call they suck well, Oscar played football
7:17
Speaker 2: and he fell over once and then I found him
7:19
Speaker 2: in the disabled toilets crying.
7:21
Speaker 1: They never played again. But we move on, We digress.
7:25
Speaker 3: And this is if you're wondering what this episode is,
7:29
Speaker 3: this is it.
7:30
Speaker 2: This is in you're actually halfway through it. No, this
7:35
Speaker 2: is housekeeping. That's where we get everything that we have.
7:38
Speaker 2: We either don't have time for for the regular episode.
7:41
Speaker 2: You've sent us that we want to talk about, but
7:43
Speaker 2: again we have time for in a regular episode.
7:46
Speaker 1: There's just a lot of things that we don't have
7:47
Speaker 1: time for until now.
7:49
Speaker 3: This is a message that came through from Katie, and
7:51
Speaker 3: before I read you this message, I have to let
7:54
Speaker 3: you know preface this and say that there is an
7:57
Speaker 3: issue right now with Australian men. Dad's no less, but
8:02
Speaker 3: no one has been addressing the elephant in the room.
8:05
Speaker 3: Men in this country need to step up. Okay, I'm
8:09
Speaker 3: guilty of it. I'm sure you are.
8:10
Speaker 1: There's a number of things we need to step on.
8:12
Speaker 1: I'm racking my bra ainything which one?
8:14
Speaker 3: And this is top of the food chain. And I
8:16
Speaker 3: just want to say thank you to Katie for making
8:19
Speaker 3: me aware of what is going on right now in
8:21
Speaker 3: this country, the issue at hand.
8:25
Speaker 2: Okay, So when you say issue at hand, I think
8:27
Speaker 2: this is very serious.
8:29
Speaker 3: This is serious. This is serious. And every now and
8:31
Speaker 3: then we change gears on the podcast, we have a
8:33
Speaker 3: loll but then we make it serious.
8:35
Speaker 1: Are we trigger warning anyone for this one?
8:37
Speaker 3: No trigger warning? Well, I'm just gonna get straight into it.
8:41
Speaker 3: She says, what is going on with millennial dads not
8:45
Speaker 3: leading the hip hip hooray in the happy Birthday song
8:49
Speaker 3: at their own child's birthday party. It's definitely the dad's
8:54
Speaker 3: role to come in with a strong hip hip times
8:58
Speaker 3: three At every kid party I've been to in the
9:01
Speaker 3: last two years. The dads and nowhere with the hip
9:04
Speaker 3: hips what do you think is going on?
9:07
Speaker 1: A couple of things here?
9:08
Speaker 2: I think this is what I think, and I think
9:10
Speaker 2: only Okay, there's a couple of things. Let me get
9:13
Speaker 2: to them at some point. First one is I think
9:16
Speaker 2: maybe that there could have been a bit of shame
9:18
Speaker 2: around it, not that there should be at all, because
9:21
Speaker 2: I think the hip hopparay is a great way to finish.
9:23
Speaker 2: Other countries don't quite understand it. It's very Australian, isn't it.
9:27
Speaker 3: Yeah. I remember seeing there was a video online of
9:30
Speaker 3: an American birthday party and they're like, happy birthday too you.
9:35
Speaker 3: And I was a kid in the video was like
9:37
Speaker 3: he was a hip eb and then looked around and
9:40
Speaker 3: was like, what the fuck is going on? Do you
9:42
Speaker 3: know how I think we should blame for this is
9:45
Speaker 3: the older generation of dads.
9:47
Speaker 1: Do you think they were shamed out of it?
9:48
Speaker 3: I just think they're fucking lazy that too.
9:50
Speaker 2: But I can't blame them for this one because this
9:52
Speaker 2: is what I'm saying. There's a couple of different things here.
9:54
Speaker 2: I think that maybe we watched our dads do it right, yeah,
10:00
Speaker 2: and we were like, oh, I'm never going to do that,
10:03
Speaker 2: and some actual people didn't grab fatherhood by the horns
10:07
Speaker 2: and get involved. So I kind of think it's it's
10:10
Speaker 2: probably these the previous generation, much like everything else is.
10:14
Speaker 3: But I have just another thing. They've fucking ruined those rumors.
10:16
Speaker 2: But I don't think it's solely on the dad.
10:18
Speaker 1: I think it's some of the mums.
10:21
Speaker 2: Don't don't be the guy who hip hop parade.
10:23
Speaker 3: I think I think the mums they want it do.
10:26
Speaker 3: Look at VIC.
10:27
Speaker 2: There's a couple of things that I are now in
10:28
Speaker 2: a dad's remit okay, which is one the hip hip parae.
10:31
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, you sort of get told that this
10:34
Speaker 2: is now your responsibility, and the repeating whatever it is
10:37
Speaker 2: mum said to the kids to make the point, for example,
10:40
Speaker 2: ye go to your room, kids, go to your room.
10:42
Speaker 3: Ash. I think I think the dad should lead the
10:45
Speaker 3: charge on disciplining as.
10:46
Speaker 1: Well in its entirety.
10:48
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah, absolutely.
10:51
Speaker 1: I don't know.
10:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I hate being the bad guy every time.
10:55
Speaker 3: And that's that's the problem, And that's the problem. That's
10:58
Speaker 3: the problem.
11:00
Speaker 2: That makes no sense if I'm going to lead the charge.
11:03
Speaker 3: On it and you get to get over that dick.
11:06
Speaker 1: It's not an dick.
11:07
Speaker 2: I just hapen in the bag. Why does she get
11:08
Speaker 2: all the fun She's a mom.
11:11
Speaker 3: Damn it.
11:12
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, we're going off track here.
11:15
Speaker 3: At your child's recent birthday party, did Dan lead the charge?
11:20
Speaker 3: And how did that make you feel?
11:22
Speaker 4: It's always me, Actually, I'm always like hip hip. I
11:31
Speaker 4: also find myself doing it at other people's parties, Like
11:34
Speaker 4: I can't help myself if I'm getting a vibe that
11:36
Speaker 4: no one's going.
11:37
Speaker 1: To do it, Rix's doing the traffic light. Come like,
11:43
Speaker 1: is anyone gonna hip hit me? Are they hi hip
11:45
Speaker 1: hooray worthy?
11:46
Speaker 3: I I sometimes think three is a lot. I'll do one,
11:51
Speaker 3: I'll get a second in there, and then I feel
11:53
Speaker 3: it like tapering off, and I'm like, yes, but I
11:56
Speaker 3: think I think you have one solid one you need
11:59
Speaker 3: to like, you need to keep that level of enthusiasm
12:01
Speaker 3: from start to finish and people will follow suit.
12:04
Speaker 2: I think you're right, But you also gauge the audience
12:07
Speaker 2: with the first one, so you don't want to go
12:09
Speaker 2: too strong, and.
12:10
Speaker 1: It's going to be people who are like but you
12:12
Speaker 1: would be like.
12:13
Speaker 2: That's where I think the first one is like hip
12:15
Speaker 2: hip and just see gage the audience. Then the next
12:17
Speaker 2: one is hip hop true, and then it does just
12:22
Speaker 2: naturally tape her off, so you've got to dial it up.
12:24
Speaker 1: But then what happens after the third hip hip is hell,
12:29
Speaker 1: she's a jarling effort. What do we do with that?
12:31
Speaker 4: Now? No one does that anymore?
12:32
Speaker 2: That's American. That sounds American.
12:34
Speaker 3: Although, hang, I'm just gonna just take a step back
12:38
Speaker 3: review what I've just said. And do you think now
12:41
Speaker 3: we're living in a modern world where there's equal responsibility
12:45
Speaker 3: of parents have we taken away? Do you want the
12:48
Speaker 3: hip hipparay as a mom or is it like doing
12:51
Speaker 3: the bins? Were like, I don't really want if I
12:53
Speaker 3: can do that, the dads can do that.
12:55
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I'd love someone else to do it.
12:57
Speaker 2: You hear that, loud and clear, powerful minds having this discussion.
13:02
Speaker 2: First of all, that's what I will say on that issue,
13:05
Speaker 2: tackling the big issue here. I think it is a crisis.
13:08
Speaker 2: I think what should happen is mum gives birth, the
13:11
Speaker 2: doc says, congratulations, it's a boy. And now from now on,
13:15
Speaker 2: your responsibility is the hip hip Hoaradeeah?
13:17
Speaker 3: You get like a like, a little like and.
13:19
Speaker 2: If you and responsibility doesn't mean that you just do
13:22
Speaker 2: it and Mum doesn't do it. Sometimes you go, hey,
13:25
Speaker 2: maybe this time, do you want to do the hip?
13:27
Speaker 1: Give you the option.
13:28
Speaker 4: You can have a discussion beforehand. I mean in terms
13:30
Speaker 4: of even the birthday cake, Dan and I we split it,
13:33
Speaker 4: so he bakes, I decorate.
13:34
Speaker 1: Dan eats it. That's for sure. That's a dad joke. Sorry, sorry,
13:40
Speaker 1: that wasn't specifically at Dan. I need it?
13:43
Speaker 4: Are you fat shaming Dan?
13:44
Speaker 1: I would never.
13:46
Speaker 2: I meant I thought you're gonna say we split it.
13:48
Speaker 1: I make it, Dad eats it.
13:50
Speaker 3: Can I just quickly for those ones? So the original
13:56
Speaker 3: hip hip was basically a way of getting everyone's attention
13:59
Speaker 3: before a toaster or a cheer, which originated in Old
14:03
Speaker 3: English culture in the eighteen hundreds. Excuse me, vic edit
14:12
Speaker 3: that out because no one gave an Honestly, I didn't
14:16
Speaker 3: even know, but I was just like drinking his drink.
14:20
Speaker 1: I think it was like, Wow, I was thinking about cake.
14:23
Speaker 3: Wow, that's really there.
14:25
Speaker 4: You go.
14:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, I turned into my mother. Does she.
14:31
Speaker 3: Well?
14:31
Speaker 1: Religious?
14:32
Speaker 3: We had no dad ash so she she was forced to.
14:36
Speaker 1: That's okay, she was forced to.
14:38
Speaker 4: You know.
14:39
Speaker 3: She played both very well, considering tough, tough conditions raising five.
14:43
Speaker 2: Children, she'd be hip hip array in all year she's
14:46
Speaker 2: doing five birthdays.
14:47
Speaker 3: So if you're a dad listening, just know that you
14:51
Speaker 3: take the hip hip rains with both hands and you
14:55
Speaker 3: own that.
14:56
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, don't hold back.
14:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then also have the discussion with if she
15:00
Speaker 2: wants to do it a little like inclusivity, like can
15:03
Speaker 2: I have this nod from mum?
15:06
Speaker 1: Fuck, that's scotta feel good.
15:08
Speaker 3: Run at it one hundred miles an hour.
15:09
Speaker 1: It's like a big sneeze, That's what it's like. I
15:12
Speaker 1: reckon if you get that. Sometimes dad's just got to
15:14
Speaker 1: get it out. Do you know what?
15:15
Speaker 4: I know that you're saying that. I actually think it's
15:17
Speaker 4: just nice to have like constant little conversations like this
15:20
Speaker 4: with each other as parents, Like it keeps you kind
15:22
Speaker 4: of on the same page. I think sometimes you overthink
15:24
Speaker 4: things or you assume things, and if you actually stop
15:27
Speaker 4: and have that conversation, that's gonna be better for everyone
15:31
Speaker 4: in terms of your relationships as well.
15:33
Speaker 3: I imagine if the hip hips vanished forever it was illegal,
15:38
Speaker 3: and now in some countries it probably is illegal.
15:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's move on hip hop.
15:45
Speaker 2: Hooray, Let's move on, Matt, You had a Dota's lemma
15:48
Speaker 2: the other day about kids saying when you say, hey,
15:50
Speaker 2: put your shoes on, just an example, put your shoes on.
15:54
Speaker 1: And they say just one more say or I just
15:56
Speaker 1: have to do this. It's all sort of similar. Someone
15:58
Speaker 1: had a solution for.
15:59
Speaker 3: You, Jen didgen Rid in gen Mure the Oracle.
16:02
Speaker 2: I'm surprised you didn't. If I'm honest, who we got.
16:04
Speaker 2: This is from Nicole and this is hot off the press.
16:07
Speaker 2: This one a couple of hours ago in response to
16:09
Speaker 2: Matt's dilemma and the dreaded one more second.
16:12
Speaker 3: This better be good.
16:14
Speaker 2: This visual tim is my absolute golden ticket. I set
16:18
Speaker 2: it for five minutes before my son actually needs to
16:21
Speaker 2: stop the activity. So when he says just five more minutes,
16:25
Speaker 2: I say, okay.
16:28
Speaker 1: He thinks he's in control.
16:29
Speaker 2: Then the transitions are seamless ninety eight percent of the time.
16:33
Speaker 1: So we'll have a visual of it. We have a
16:35
Speaker 1: visual of it. Should I have a quick look a visual?
16:37
Speaker 2: Matt, Oh, I want one of them?
16:40
Speaker 1: Should we allder one?
16:42
Speaker 3: That's genius that's going to get lost in my house.
16:45
Speaker 3: It's like a little stopwatch, but it's like a little
16:47
Speaker 3: like a baking timer.
16:49
Speaker 1: Almost more child friendly.
16:50
Speaker 3: I thought it was going to be one of the
16:51
Speaker 3: old school like sand dials that you put upside down
16:54
Speaker 3: and like the sand goes so all the days of
16:57
Speaker 3: our life music.
17:00
Speaker 1: As soon as you turn it over, the sand drips out.
17:03
Speaker 1: They Actually I might get one of those for home.
17:05
Speaker 3: I sometimes when the kids do respond with one more second,
17:07
Speaker 3: I put like the alarm clock and I go put
17:09
Speaker 3: my phone down, and I'm like with the alarm goes off,
17:12
Speaker 3: that's when times and the kids know how to disabled
17:14
Speaker 3: the alarm, so they're just like all right, like they
17:16
Speaker 3: just put my phone in a couple of waters.
17:18
Speaker 2: It's like when we do the iPhone timer for playing
17:20
Speaker 2: with a toy, like you get it for like two minutes.
17:22
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, Oscar just.
17:23
Speaker 2: Fucking stops it and he's like I'm still going like
17:26
Speaker 2: I think we don't know that.
17:27
Speaker 3: Just hack the main frame.
17:28
Speaker 2: I do the if they go one more second, I
17:30
Speaker 2: just go one Now what.
17:34
Speaker 3: Who was that message from? What was the name again?
17:36
Speaker 1: Nicole?
17:37
Speaker 3: Thank you Nicole?
17:38
Speaker 2: Yes, I will actually want one for my ADHD.
17:40
Speaker 3: Great for that to Actually, if you have any parenting hack, sendimen,
17:43
Speaker 3: send them in.
17:44
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with linear clocks. Just speaking of time, it's
17:47
Speaker 2: really quick. A linear clock is not a circle, it's
17:50
Speaker 2: a line, a linear line just because a clock is continuous, right,
17:54
Speaker 2: which the ady H brain ADHD brain goes.
17:57
Speaker 1: Well, whether I finish this task or not, the.
18:00
Speaker 2: Clock will keep ticking going with a linear It's like
18:03
Speaker 2: I've got to get this done today. It fucking stops
18:06
Speaker 2: and that scares the shit out have you?
18:08
Speaker 3: Have you borne not yet?
18:11
Speaker 2: So you should download this all right? Okay, that's good,
18:18
Speaker 2: but I just want to quickly jump back. We did
18:20
Speaker 2: an episode which was episode two one one go back.
18:22
Speaker 2: It was just an update on my sobriety journey that
18:25
Speaker 2: I have decided to embark upon to become a better person,
18:27
Speaker 2: become a better parent, etcetera.
18:29
Speaker 3: All that jazz and you've become a great person.
18:32
Speaker 1: Is that sincerity hasn't such a fine line either way.
18:38
Speaker 1: I'll take it, yes, anything else.
18:42
Speaker 3: Not the old Ash was there's nothing wrong with the
18:44
Speaker 3: old Ash. I love the old ass.
18:45
Speaker 1: He achieved so much.
18:46
Speaker 3: If he ever comes back, God help us.
18:50
Speaker 1: You never know.
18:52
Speaker 3: It's hard. It's been a it's been a slow metamorphosis
18:55
Speaker 3: into the incredible man you are today.
18:57
Speaker 1: Well said, I was going to say the same thing,
18:59
Speaker 1: but you beat me to it.
19:00
Speaker 2: But yeah, so I did get a big response from
19:03
Speaker 2: that episode, and at the time I was quite overwhelmed
19:05
Speaker 2: by it all because of the amount of messages. So
19:08
Speaker 2: I don't want people to think that I've ignored you.
19:10
Speaker 2: I see you, You've been seen, and.
19:12
Speaker 1: I appreciate it.
19:13
Speaker 2: First of all, there were a lot of personal stories
19:14
Speaker 2: that came across that I can't read out because for
19:17
Speaker 2: personal obvious reasons. But I just want to know that
19:19
Speaker 2: I've acknowledged it and I see it, I read it,
19:22
Speaker 2: and I appreciate it. And for anyone out there that
19:25
Speaker 2: is struggling, please just open your mouth and talk to someone.
19:28
Speaker 2: And do not feel that you can't send me a message,
19:31
Speaker 2: because usually the messages start with I know you're like,
19:35
Speaker 2: you're not going to see this or something like that,
19:37
Speaker 2: but I try my best to see as much as
19:40
Speaker 2: I can. Does that sound right anyway?
19:42
Speaker 1: But I do have one here I want to read
19:44
Speaker 1: out that.
19:45
Speaker 2: The time this one, I did respond back and said, hey,
19:48
Speaker 2: do you mind if I read this out? She said yes,
19:50
Speaker 2: And we just haven't got around to it because again
19:52
Speaker 2: it was also overwhelming for me.
19:55
Speaker 1: But here we are.
19:55
Speaker 2: I won't put a name to it, the person will
19:58
Speaker 2: know we're not talking about I've just finished listening to
20:01
Speaker 2: today's episode, which was then, which is a hashtag episode
20:04
Speaker 2: two hundred and eleven.
20:06
Speaker 1: Wow, we've come a long way.
20:08
Speaker 2: Ash As a daughter of a functional alcoholic father, you
20:11
Speaker 2: sharing your story hit hard. It never felt like my
20:14
Speaker 2: father tried to stop drinking. We didn't talk about it.
20:17
Speaker 2: We just live with it, and it damaged us. My
20:20
Speaker 2: mom never left him, and she should have. Now I'm older,
20:23
Speaker 2: I have sympathy for him, but still don't really understand.
20:27
Speaker 2: Why weren't we worth getting better for?
20:29
Speaker 1: Fuck that? Sorry, that line fucking kills me.
20:34
Speaker 2: I understand it's a selfish perspective, but that's how it felt.
20:38
Speaker 2: He never beat his demons and died five years ago
20:41
Speaker 2: at the age of sixty eight. Wasn't until his funeral
20:44
Speaker 2: where memories were shared that some good memories of dad
20:47
Speaker 2: came back from when I was much younger. They had
20:50
Speaker 2: been clouded by all the bad memories. He wasn't violent,
20:54
Speaker 2: but he was an asshole drunk. I hear how hard
20:57
Speaker 2: it's been for you. I hear your love for your kids.
21:00
Speaker 2: The little girl in me, the daughter in me, is
21:03
Speaker 2: cheering you on with love and pride despite not knowing you.
21:07
Speaker 2: Your kids are younger, so they may never really know
21:10
Speaker 2: the deep impact this choice of sobriety from you will
21:13
Speaker 2: have on their lives. But I can tell you it
21:15
Speaker 2: is life changing. Keep fighting ash.
21:20
Speaker 1: The line in there.
21:21
Speaker 2: Let me reiterate that, because this is what really sent
21:25
Speaker 2: this one home for me, which originally it wasn't. The
21:29
Speaker 2: overall arc of this journey was it was sort of
21:33
Speaker 2: like a knock on benefit if they this was for me.
21:39
Speaker 2: There was some of it, but where I wanted to
21:41
Speaker 2: be better for them, but I didn't really realize the
21:43
Speaker 2: impact until you know, I'm this far in now right
21:47
Speaker 2: where it was, why weren't we worth getting better for?
21:52
Speaker 2: I can't imagine my life where I didn't give myself
21:55
Speaker 2: the opportunity to be better for them, and then to
21:57
Speaker 2: think back and go, they're more than worth getting better for.
22:01
Speaker 1: Right.
22:02
Speaker 3: It's really easy to say about your kids, I'll do
22:05
Speaker 3: anything for them, I love them unconditionally, But to say
22:09
Speaker 3: it and then to physically make that a reality are
22:13
Speaker 3: two separate things.
22:15
Speaker 2: I would hate for my kids to down the track
22:19
Speaker 2: if I didn't do anything about it. I would hate
22:21
Speaker 2: for them to have that conversation with someone where it
22:24
Speaker 2: was like, I guess we just weren't We weren't good
22:27
Speaker 2: enough to get better. For that would fucking even if
22:29
Speaker 2: I was dead, it would break my fucking heart again.
22:32
Speaker 3: Have they noticed or picked up on any change?
22:35
Speaker 1: Do you think it's so obvious? The change is so obvious.
22:39
Speaker 2: It's like it's so easy to be oblivious about your
22:43
Speaker 2: behavior with things, and you're oblivious about how you how
22:49
Speaker 2: you are as as minor as it may seem, how
22:53
Speaker 2: major it is for them, because I like, like I say,
22:56
Speaker 2: it's like I'm their whole world, right. It's like Jen
23:01
Speaker 2: puts it really simply, He's like, they don't want to
23:02
Speaker 2: let you down. Think about, like, imagine the person that
23:05
Speaker 2: you don't want to let down just not making the
23:08
Speaker 2: effort for you. So it kills me to think that
23:12
Speaker 2: for six or so years that I was that guy
23:15
Speaker 2: that it wasn't.
23:16
Speaker 3: Like may see if probably too young, but like Oscar
23:18
Speaker 3: has grown up knowing that his dad would have a
23:20
Speaker 3: beer at nighttime. Has he picked up on the fact
23:23
Speaker 3: that there's not beers in the garage or beers in
23:26
Speaker 3: the fridge. Does he notice that at all?
23:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there was a time there where I
23:31
Speaker 2: was drinking so often that even if I wasn't drinking
23:33
Speaker 2: a beer, he just assumed it was. At the time,
23:37
Speaker 2: it was kind of like a laugh away moment, but
23:39
Speaker 2: you're like, oh yeah, but now I look back and
23:42
Speaker 2: it's just fucking sad.
23:44
Speaker 1: My relationship with Oscar is way better.
23:48
Speaker 2: I think growing up, I felt I felt a bit isolated.
23:52
Speaker 2: I felt like, now that I'm adult, anytime I do something,
23:55
Speaker 2: I can't do it alone.
23:56
Speaker 1: I've got to do it with someone.
23:57
Speaker 2: And I was always like, always felt like that as
24:00
Speaker 2: a kid. And then my therapist said to me, now
24:03
Speaker 2: that you're older and you're like still look.
24:05
Speaker 1: For people to do things with you. You've got a
24:07
Speaker 1: best friend right there. He's right there and it's him.
24:11
Speaker 2: And now that I'm sober and way more, I feel
24:15
Speaker 2: like I'm way more emotionally intelligent than I was six
24:18
Speaker 2: months ago because I'm reflecting back on who I was
24:24
Speaker 2: and now it's like, Okay, well, I've got an opportunity
24:27
Speaker 2: to make up for that, and That's where I'm at.
24:33
Speaker 3: How you finding it? Would we day one hundred.
24:35
Speaker 1: And one hundred and fifty six, How do.
24:38
Speaker 3: You feel now versus those other milestones that we've hit
24:41
Speaker 3: of like day fifty, day one hundred.
24:43
Speaker 2: I think I'm the happiest I've ever been ever in
24:47
Speaker 2: my life.
24:49
Speaker 1: I'm way more as sure of myself.
24:51
Speaker 2: I'm way more confident in my abilities, and way more
24:55
Speaker 2: I'm way more in tune with my kids. Obviously, I'm
24:59
Speaker 2: like I decided to also make the calls have a
25:03
Speaker 2: break from my ow meds just because I felt like
25:06
Speaker 2: I was abusing them when I was drinking as a
25:10
Speaker 2: cure for my hangover.
25:12
Speaker 1: And then it morphed into where I was just built.
25:14
Speaker 2: Up a tolerance because of that, and then I was
25:17
Speaker 2: starting to get frustrated and moody, and I would snap
25:22
Speaker 2: and then have to I'd have to come crawling back
25:26
Speaker 2: so instantly, And I would like I would snap at
25:28
Speaker 2: April over something so minor and she didn't deserve that,
25:31
Speaker 2: but I wouldn't dwell on it. I'd be like I
25:34
Speaker 2: would pull myself up after and go, this is not you.
25:38
Speaker 1: Go and apologize before it's too late.
25:41
Speaker 3: Is there any reason why you stop cold turkey instead
25:44
Speaker 3: of tapering off.
25:46
Speaker 1: You've known me long enough to know that I'm not
25:48
Speaker 1: going to taper.
25:48
Speaker 3: Off any ash. Just someone who is all or nothing. Well,
25:54
Speaker 3: I'm just wondering that, like does that need to have,
25:57
Speaker 3: Like it's a big change when you've been on meds
25:59
Speaker 3: for how many years now?
26:00
Speaker 2: No, I've only been like I'm still in my antidepressants
26:03
Speaker 2: because the withdrawal from that I've been through and I'm
26:06
Speaker 2: not prepared for that yet. I think in this instance,
26:10
Speaker 2: I just had the morning off once and thought, if
26:14
Speaker 2: I want, if I need them, I can always take them,
26:18
Speaker 2: and one day turned into now, which is nearly two weeks.
26:22
Speaker 2: I'm expecting some sort of drop off somewhere, but also
26:25
Speaker 2: as well, like I've built, I've learnt, and I've got
26:28
Speaker 2: more tools than I did before I started, so.
26:30
Speaker 1: I can sort of pick up or know what I
26:33
Speaker 1: need now.
26:34
Speaker 2: When I was hitting the piss using them to get
26:37
Speaker 2: back on to level terms without actually putting in any effort,
26:42
Speaker 2: which I feel like it's that's the easy way out.
26:46
Speaker 1: But now I'm like, okay, if I get some exercise
26:48
Speaker 1: into them all.
26:48
Speaker 2: And it's so fucking cliche to be like, get some exercise,
26:52
Speaker 2: get some eat properly, you get out what you put in,
26:56
Speaker 2: full stop, and I've.
26:58
Speaker 1: Never ever lived by that one bit.
27:00
Speaker 2: I'm always like I'm here for a fucking good time
27:02
Speaker 2: and not a long time.
27:03
Speaker 1: That's how I've pictured myself.
27:06
Speaker 2: I've always said to people as a passing joke, if
27:08
Speaker 2: you see me over the age of sixty five in
27:10
Speaker 2: a car park, hit me with you. And that was
27:13
Speaker 2: just how I felt. Why because it was like this
27:16
Speaker 2: was fucking exhausting, and it was like, why would I
27:18
Speaker 2: want to be old and exhausted. I'm exhausted now as
27:22
Speaker 2: a twenty year old.
27:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've had enough now. But my perspective on life
27:27
Speaker 1: is shifting every day.
27:29
Speaker 3: I remember Geraldine, she was in I'm a Celebrity with me.
27:33
Speaker 3: She is diagnosed adi HD, and she would always have
27:36
Speaker 3: one day off, Yeah, normally a Sunday because it was
27:38
Speaker 3: kind of a quiet day and she would find it
27:41
Speaker 3: like a really tricky day. Yeah, on that day off,
27:44
Speaker 3: that one day where she didn't have a meds. I
27:46
Speaker 3: know you talked about you have a lot of voices,
27:48
Speaker 3: you know, you don't have the clarity in your head.
27:51
Speaker 3: Has that come back at all? Having so much noise
27:54
Speaker 3: with no meds.
27:55
Speaker 2: So I think when you did tell me that when
27:58
Speaker 2: you came out of the jungle and I said, I
28:01
Speaker 2: didn't feel like I had the luxury of that because
28:03
Speaker 2: of the kids.
28:03
Speaker 4: Right.
28:04
Speaker 2: What I would hate would have hated in that moment
28:06
Speaker 2: was me taking it all week to get by, and
28:08
Speaker 2: then the Sunday where I'm spending the.
28:09
Speaker 1: Time with my family, I'm not okay.
28:11
Speaker 2: And I thought, that's actually really selfish of me, and
28:15
Speaker 2: it's like, I'm probably better off having a day off.
28:17
Speaker 2: I contemplated having a Monday off because the kids are
28:20
Speaker 2: back a school, I could have.
28:21
Speaker 1: A doner day.
28:22
Speaker 2: But in this instance, it was the same with alcohol.
28:26
Speaker 2: I felt like I was just ready to have a break.
28:29
Speaker 2: It was way easier, and I feel like I braced
28:32
Speaker 2: myself for that hard day and it didn't come great,
28:36
Speaker 2: and I thought, yeah, great. And I also thought, well,
28:40
Speaker 2: I can't go in thinking this is all great, because
28:42
Speaker 2: one day it could turn around and bang. And I
28:46
Speaker 2: think I'm way more conscious of my emotions and my
28:48
Speaker 2: feelings now that I can sort of pull myself up
28:51
Speaker 2: before I fall down that trap again of.
28:56
Speaker 1: Using the meds for the wrong reasons instead of the reasons.
29:01
Speaker 2: I've taken those things that I've learned being on them
29:05
Speaker 2: and been like, Okay, well I'm just gonna I pretty
29:08
Speaker 2: much sleep in my shoes now, if that makes sense
29:12
Speaker 2: to an ADHD where it's like you take your shoes off,
29:15
Speaker 2: you're done for the day.
29:16
Speaker 1: I just never take them off anymore. So I've never
29:18
Speaker 1: done and it's.
29:19
Speaker 3: Like sleep standing up.
29:20
Speaker 2: Well, it's kind of that old thing where it's like, okay,
29:23
Speaker 2: like this morning, I didn't have to get up and
29:25
Speaker 2: go for a run. I felt like I've done a
29:27
Speaker 2: lot yesterday. I did this morning. It's like April's like
29:30
Speaker 2: really encouraging me. She's like, if you want to do it,
29:32
Speaker 2: you go go and do it if it's going to
29:33
Speaker 2: make you feel better, and arguably it does. And then
29:36
Speaker 2: I'm like pumping myself full of protein in the mornings now,
29:39
Speaker 2: which is fueling my brain, which I just previously thought,
29:42
Speaker 2: ah fuck it. You know, I'll take some meds to
29:44
Speaker 2: feel my brain, and it doesn't mean I'm not going
29:46
Speaker 2: to go back on them if I need that. I
29:48
Speaker 2: think when it gets to the point where I'm like,
29:50
Speaker 2: you know, life changes. I feel like life changes for
29:52
Speaker 2: me every week, so it's like I don't know what
29:55
Speaker 2: I'm going to be like next week, and I might
29:56
Speaker 2: need them, whether they're short acting or long acting. But
30:00
Speaker 2: there's one thing that I do know, which I will
30:02
Speaker 2: touch on when I sort of get a little bit longer,
30:04
Speaker 2: further into the journey of sobriety, is that I don't
30:07
Speaker 2: think I'll ever drink again.
30:08
Speaker 3: Wow, it is so fucking crazy.
30:12
Speaker 1: That fucking breaks my heart.
30:14
Speaker 3: Why why does it break your heart?
30:18
Speaker 2: It's like losing a best friend. Think about like the
30:22
Speaker 2: one thing you would rely on bad day, good day,
30:26
Speaker 2: something inconvenient celebration, think of everything right, That one thing
30:33
Speaker 2: has been there since I was fourteen years of age,
30:36
Speaker 2: and it's always the one thing that I've been able
30:38
Speaker 2: to in those moments rely on being there and not
30:41
Speaker 2: going to not be there.
30:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now I have to worry about the trust
30:44
Speaker 1: of it not being there. But when it.
30:48
Speaker 2: It's literally like your best friend dying. That's how I
30:51
Speaker 2: think about it.
30:52
Speaker 3: But then I look at it a little bit differently
30:54
Speaker 3: because I look at what your supposed best friend, what
30:58
Speaker 3: path that was dragging you down? Like that's not your
31:00
Speaker 3: best fucking friend.
31:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, But because I'm the closest person to it, I
31:03
Speaker 2: don't see it. It's like you see, okay, for example,
31:06
Speaker 2: you see your friend in a relationship that you know
31:09
Speaker 2: that that of the person's toxic that they don't know
31:12
Speaker 2: until they break up and they're like, fuck, that's where
31:15
Speaker 2: I'm at. I'm in this moment here where I'm like,
31:17
Speaker 2: who I thought was my best friend because I'm the
31:20
Speaker 2: closest person to it is actually wrong, and you're right,
31:24
Speaker 2: but it isn't my best friend you one hundred percent.
31:26
Speaker 2: But what it feels like to me is heartbreak because
31:30
Speaker 2: I see it as it was always it was always
31:34
Speaker 2: my best friend. But now I'm on the way out,
31:37
Speaker 2: I'm like, you were the worst thing for me. You
31:40
Speaker 2: were borderlining and to tear my family apart right, all
31:44
Speaker 2: for yourself.
31:46
Speaker 1: So it's like, now that I'm on the outside looking in.
31:49
Speaker 3: So how have you mourned losing what you could consider
31:53
Speaker 3: as your best friend?
31:54
Speaker 2: I think I think the relationships, the real relationships, have
31:59
Speaker 2: got me to a point where I'm like, this is
32:01
Speaker 2: way better. This is these kids and my wife are
32:06
Speaker 2: worth it, and that's not.
32:09
Speaker 3: Is that relationship with alcohol. Now that it's been a
32:14
Speaker 3: long time, do you think you'll always view it as
32:17
Speaker 3: being a best friend or do you think you'll be
32:19
Speaker 3: able to see it for the truth and the reality
32:22
Speaker 3: that really was.
32:22
Speaker 2: You know, when your outgirlfriend? Yeah, like that I don't
32:27
Speaker 2: regret the fun and stuff I had and the people
32:30
Speaker 2: like it to me and the things that I got
32:31
Speaker 2: to do, and I used it for courage.
32:33
Speaker 1: In certain aspects.
32:34
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but it's the friend that I've outgrown and
32:39
Speaker 2: you do that.
32:40
Speaker 1: That's how I see it.
32:42
Speaker 3: It's amazing to see where you are now, and it's
32:46
Speaker 3: I never and a million years when I met you
32:49
Speaker 3: three years ago, thought that we would be here talking
32:52
Speaker 3: about the fact that you're not going to drink again.
32:53
Speaker 3: I never thought, and like not to say that I
32:56
Speaker 3: didn't think you had it in you, but I just
32:59
Speaker 3: it was just so in a grain part of your personality.
33:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's another thing that I was like so
33:06
Speaker 2: worried about losing. And you hear everyone that goes does
33:10
Speaker 2: go sober. They're like, you're actually the things that you
33:14
Speaker 2: think you are while you're while you're using, You're actually that,
33:18
Speaker 2: but way ten times better without it.
33:21
Speaker 1: And it's so true.
33:22
Speaker 2: Like walking into the cafe this morning, I saw these
33:24
Speaker 2: four old Italian guys sitting there and they they were
33:29
Speaker 2: talking about pawn for all things, and I knew them
33:32
Speaker 2: all and I did for five minutes as I just
33:34
Speaker 2: sat there and cracked jokes about it and they had
33:36
Speaker 2: such a good time and I left there and I thought,
33:39
Speaker 2: I still am that guy, m but without it, and
33:42
Speaker 2: if not, I'm quicker, I'm snappier. Like with my responses,
33:48
Speaker 2: I feel like, finally, after so many years, my brain's
33:50
Speaker 2: starting to grow back, which is scary too because then
33:54
Speaker 2: it's like, what, what's it going to start telling me?
33:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so amazing to see and as a child
34:03
Speaker 3: who grew up pleading with his dad to not drink
34:06
Speaker 3: and being promised time after time after time that he
34:10
Speaker 3: would stop drinking, and then finding wine in his room
34:14
Speaker 3: and finding hidden beers in the garage, and someone who
34:17
Speaker 3: could never say no to alcohol, to see you do it,
34:22
Speaker 3: it makes me so happy that you could have gone
34:24
Speaker 3: down a much different path in life.
34:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the way I describe it is like you
34:30
Speaker 2: are just being one big fucking liar when you drink.
34:34
Speaker 2: When you're drinking in that you know, like go out
34:37
Speaker 2: have fun with your mates or whatever. But there's a
34:39
Speaker 2: very big difference between that, and it's quite a slippery
34:42
Speaker 2: slope before it's now it's turned you into the most
34:46
Speaker 2: deceitful person. Yeah, just because like you have no reason
34:51
Speaker 2: you know why you are just deceiving your closest people
34:55
Speaker 2: and your most loved ones around you.
34:57
Speaker 1: It's not you doing it, it's.
34:58
Speaker 3: You know, with your kids now, at the age that
35:01
Speaker 3: they're at, it's really it's easier to hide those lives
35:05
Speaker 3: in the deceitfulness at this age. Yeah, as they get older,
35:09
Speaker 3: it becomes way more aware. And so what a blessing
35:13
Speaker 3: that you've been able to have this moment now in
35:16
Speaker 3: your life and to change at the age that your
35:19
Speaker 3: kids are at that it wouldn't have any long term
35:21
Speaker 3: effect on your relationship with them growing up.
35:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm thankful that I really figured it out now
35:27
Speaker 2: because I got some messages that obviously they're personal and
35:31
Speaker 2: Pom wanted me to see them. Only is that you
35:34
Speaker 2: know their husband or whatever or wife or whatever it
35:38
Speaker 2: might be.
35:39
Speaker 1: It actually tore their family apart.
35:41
Speaker 2: And it's like it's someone said to me, like the
35:43
Speaker 2: father of my children, he's sober now, but it was
35:45
Speaker 2: just too all too late, and it's like it's so sad.
35:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, the number of people who would be in your
35:53
Speaker 3: position who have come out the other end and choosing
35:56
Speaker 3: their family of alcohol. You were in the minority, sure,
36:01
Speaker 3: for sure, and what an amazing place for you to
36:03
Speaker 3: be in, not just for you, but for your family
36:05
Speaker 3: and for us as well.
36:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you, And I'll keep I'll keep everyone updated
36:10
Speaker 2: where I'm at. And I'm sure that it's it's been
36:13
Speaker 2: tough now, but I'm sure that it's going to have
36:16
Speaker 2: tough moments.
36:17
Speaker 1: We'll just as it comes with us. You wrap me up.
36:21
Speaker 4: No, I'm not going to wrap you up, but can
36:23
Speaker 4: I I just wanted to say, because I met you
36:25
Speaker 4: just before you stopped drinking and then so I've kind
36:28
Speaker 4: of seen you progress, and as someone who sort of
36:30
Speaker 4: watched you week by week, every week, you're that little
36:33
Speaker 4: bit lighter, that little bit happier, that little bit like
36:37
Speaker 4: there's less weight on your shoulders, and that in itself
36:40
Speaker 4: has been really beautiful to watch. And as that weight
36:43
Speaker 4: keeps lifting off, you're becoming more open and I'm getting
36:48
Speaker 4: to know you so much more as well. And so
36:50
Speaker 4: that's a really beautiful thing that I've noticed as well.
36:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, I appreciate that.
36:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely, I'm definitely a million times happier. Like
36:57
Speaker 2: I saw this guy like dancing at the bus stop
36:59
Speaker 2: this morning, lolled and I don't like my I was
37:03
Speaker 2: always said to me, She's like, we're watching something funny
37:05
Speaker 2: and you never laugh, and it's like I'm amused, but
37:08
Speaker 2: I'm like fuck, Like I'm mucking around with the kids
37:11
Speaker 2: and stuff like that and having so much fun when
37:13
Speaker 2: I wasn't previously because it was like something else was
37:17
Speaker 2: controlling who I was. But yeah, sorry to dumb the yeah,
37:23
Speaker 2: but yeah, and again, if I haven't responded to you
37:27
Speaker 2: or whatever, it's not that I'm being rude and I apologize.
37:30
Speaker 2: There's just so many stories just like that one.
37:33
Speaker 3: So yeah, I don't ever apologize because you know, when
37:39
Speaker 3: this stuff comes out, it's so important for yourself to
37:43
Speaker 3: give it oxygen. But also, you know, we see it
37:45
Speaker 3: every time that we do an episode on this topic,
37:47
Speaker 3: and it benefits so many people. And so we did
37:51
Speaker 3: have if you're listening, we didn't plan this.
37:55
Speaker 2: No, I plan to acknowledge the people that I haven't
37:58
Speaker 2: had a chance to get back to and read that
38:00
Speaker 2: one because I couldn't shake it and I felt like
38:03
Speaker 2: it needed needed some air.
38:05
Speaker 1: And then I just pulled on that piece of string
38:08
Speaker 1: and I needed to get that out.
38:09
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's like it's like a river once it
38:12
Speaker 3: starts flowing ain't nothing getting in the way. It cuts
38:15
Speaker 3: its own path, well said, like a giant.
38:18
Speaker 1: Cock, giant stream. Okay, once it grows.
38:24
Speaker 2: But we promised that next Housekeeping episode we'll actually get
38:27
Speaker 2: to the things that we need to.
38:28
Speaker 3: People were like, read my question.
38:31
Speaker 1: Sorry, sorry, They're like, here it is.
38:33
Speaker 3: It's abouta.
38:35
Speaker 1: A third episode where it's just Dilavers.
38:37
Speaker 3: People did say the greedy fuckers. I was like two
38:40
Speaker 3: episode week and they were like, what about Fridays?
38:42
Speaker 1: You never know?
38:43
Speaker 2: I was like, you never say never, and like, the
38:46
Speaker 2: one thing this journey has taught me as well is
38:48
Speaker 2: is physically and mentally.
38:50
Speaker 1: Nothing that I can't do.
38:51
Speaker 2: So why don't like, I'm not going to rule out
38:53
Speaker 2: the ever chance of there being a third episode.
38:55
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry to put that on you, but you never.
39:00
Speaker 3: Ever like, okay, oh you never know.
39:03
Speaker 1: You never know he's going to edit this. I'll ma
39:07
Speaker 1: got that out later. I don't worry about that.
39:09
Speaker 2: But I think, like, yeah, okay, there's a lot there's
39:11
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff that we need to get through,
39:13
Speaker 2: so just bear with us.
39:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, just know if you were waiting for your doting dilemma,
39:17
Speaker 3: your parent hack or your parent to be.
39:19
Speaker 1: Read out, it will ninety business days.
39:22
Speaker 3: At some point in twenty twenty six, it will happen.
39:25
Speaker 1: Don't promise the year at you.
39:27
Speaker 3: Just keep listening.
39:28
Speaker 1: It's already June pretty much.
39:30
Speaker 3: Oh god, six months. But please send us all your things.
39:33
Speaker 1: We'll just write a book with it.
39:36
Speaker 3: But if you've enjoyed this episode, we would love it
39:38
Speaker 3: if you would follow us on Spotify and Apple podcasts
39:40
Speaker 3: so the episodes get delivered directly into your inbox. And
39:43
Speaker 3: also just a couple of words, a little review, a comment,
39:47
Speaker 3: any sign of life from we're still here. Yeah, yeah,
39:52
Speaker 3: just say still present.
39:54
Speaker 1: Think twice if you're still hear this either.
39:56
Speaker 3: In the episodes individually on Spotify, or you can do
39:59
Speaker 3: it over all all on Apple podcasts or.
40:01
Speaker 2: On socials Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, or share it with
40:05
Speaker 2: a friend, especially if you think anyone that could use
40:08
Speaker 2: That's another thing too, Just quickly majority of his head's
40:11
Speaker 2: daydream about being sober. If you're sitting there daydreaming listening
40:13
Speaker 2: to this about being sober, pull the trigger. Put yourself first,
40:16
Speaker 2: put kids first, put your family first.
40:18
Speaker 1: It's really important.
40:20
Speaker 3: And thank you Ash for opening up, and thank you
40:23
Speaker 3: to the dotors for joining us on these new episodes
40:26
Speaker 3: every second Monday.
40:27
Speaker 1: Soya Man.
40:42
Speaker 3: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
40:45
Speaker 3: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
40:49
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
40:52
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestraight onland,
40:55
Speaker 1: the people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagle Land