Latest / The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler / Stop Making To-Do Lists. Use THESE instead.

Transcript

Stop Making To-Do Lists. Use THESE instead. · The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler

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  most to-do lists that I have made are not really plans.
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  They're storage units for every unfinished responsibility in my life,
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  or even every wishful thought that I had about what I could possibly do.
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  There's call the dentist, clean the bathroom, plan next
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  month, whatever that means
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  Answer that email, buy birthday presents, fix the closet, research something I
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  might not even need until November.
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  Now really, these are the things that generally don't even make it onto the
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  list, but they're in my mental list.
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  And then I write down all the things that I should probably be doing, but I'm not.
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  I look at that list and somehow feel both busy and unable to begin.
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  Now, the problem is not that I need a better to-do list.
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  I don't need a better system.
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  The problem isn't really the planner
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  The problem is the vagueness and the mix of options in this list
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  Almost none of the items on those lists are things that could actually
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  be done in five or 10 minutes.
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  Like, plan next month.
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  What does that even mean?
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  Call the dentist is more of the kind of task that might be
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  doable on a list, but that is the minority of what lands on my list.
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  I need to make smaller tasks that can actually happen So when I stopped
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  working from an enormous list of things to do, or honestly dozens of different
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  lists for different projects, and started using a daily card, a daily
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  Post-it with only three priorities for this particular day, that's
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  when I started to see real traction.
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  So in this video, I'm gonna show you why long to-do lists create
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  overwhelm, not action, and how a daily card can turn vague responsibilities
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  into a workable day And also what exactly belongs on your daily card.
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  This is the exact process that helped me stop carrying everything at once
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  and start making steady progress on what actually mattered in my life
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  Welcome to the Christian homemaking podcast, Simply Convivial.
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  I'm Misty Winkler, homemaker, homeschool mom, and author of the book Home is
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  for Hospitality: Why Your Home and Homemaking Matter Convivial means
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  enjoying life together, and that's what we want to use our homes Four, we
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  want to build those moments and family
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  and family connections that build people up.
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  That's being convivial.
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  We want convivial homes, but it often takes skills and thought
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  that we have never practiced or even been told about before.
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  So
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  I am here to break it down and give it to you in bite-size, doable pieces.
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  So grab a basket of laundry to fold and let's dig in.
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  Now, I still keep lists.
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  I need somewhere to capture tasks, projects, errands,
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  reminders, ideas, all the things.
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  Things need to be written down.
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  But I never look at those lists during the day.
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  They are not what run my day, and they often rarely filter onto
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  my actionable list, honestly.
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  I just need to get it out of my head so that I can use my head to
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  n-navigate and negotiate the actual day.
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  I need to declutter my head by writing it all down.
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  Most of what I write down and capture on those lists I rarely look at, but it makes
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  a huge difference to get it out of my head
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  The daily card is where action happens.
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  This is where the daily decisions are made and where I know what I'm
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  supposed to be focusing on today.
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  And today is where I can actually take action.
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  If I looked just directly at the master list or all the master lists
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  that I have written down in various places, everything is yelling for
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  equal attention at the same time.
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  There's no distinction between what's urgent, what's important, what's
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  optional, what was just a random thought I had or a good idea that I had that's
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  really actually totally unrealistic
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  The list has a lot of information, but really no direction.
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  There's no filter there.
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  It's not really helping me make a targeted, informed,
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  intentional decision right now.
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  And let me tell you, after managing a home, homeschooling five kids,
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  writing books, I have learned that I rarely need to see a list
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  of all that I could be doing.
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  That's not helpful.
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  I need to know what I need to do today, and I bet you're the same way.
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  So if practical Christian homemaking without perfectionism and without
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  overwhelm sounds like something that would help you, then please subscribe.
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  I talk about managing home and family life with clarity, attention, and
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  everyday faithfulness, spending less time reorganizing our lists
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  and more time doing the real work
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  If you like this daily card method that I'm going to explain today, you
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  can actually dig deeper into this process and what it really looks like
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  on the day-to-day in my free workshop, Overwhelmed to Organized: The One
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  Practice That Changes Everything.
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  You can sign up for that free on-demand workshop at simplyconvivial.com/organized,
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  and the link is also in the episode notes
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  So why does that long to-do list not really help in the day-to-day?
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  The thing is, a list becomes overwhelming when you have to make
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  decisions every time you look at it.
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  A list is only helpful if it's pre-made decisions that you don't have to filter
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  and renegotiate every time you look at it.
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  But if your list contains more than is feasible in a day or more than is
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  reasonable to do in, you know, the next few minutes, then you're going
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  to be overwhelmed because you're not confronting yourself with what to do,
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  you're confronting yourself with too many options and more decisions to make.
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  What you want is a short list where you've already done the thinking
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  and you know, like, well, it doesn't matter that these things need to
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  be done because I've decided these three things are the most important.
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  I'm gonna write those down Then when I look at my list, I'm not making
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  a decision, I'm just reminding myself of a decision I've already
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  made, and I'm taking action on it.
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  Because in that moment is not the time to renegotiate or make a decision,
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  it's just the time to do something.
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  The list should say, "Here, do this," and it's very clear.
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  This is why I love Post-it Notes for my daily card, because the small size reminds
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  me that my day is actually quite small.
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  I can't do everything.
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  I can't keep track of everything.
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  I need a short, concise, to-the-point list that helps me
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  focus on what really matters today
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  This isn't every item on my grocery list.
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  This isn't big projects like plan the school year or organize the garage.
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  It is something like make the dental appointments
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  record an episode, homeschool.
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  Those are the kind of things that land on my daily card
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  What really works is when you can narrow down that next action to be something
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  that will take only five to 10 minutes.
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  My little rule of thumb is if what's on my daily card will take more than
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  10 minutes, I mean, give or take.
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  Recording this episode is gonna take longer, but it's still a very narrow
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  chunk and a very deliberate, defined task.
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  If it's something that's going to take half an hour or an hour or more,
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  there's probably a project there.
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  And just with homeschooling mom home life, we really don't have the project
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  time that we like to think we do.
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  And what I see over and over in myself and in other women in my community,
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  Convivial Circle, is that we keep planning on doing projects in a day, but our
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  life doesn't actually work that way.
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  We don't have the time and the focus to complete a full project in a day.
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  So we have to be content narrowing down our focus
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  Making small baby step goals rather than big project goals
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  So the card, the daily card works because it contains what the real priorities
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  are today, and not just some random tasks that are mostly wishful thinking
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  extras that I would like to fit in.
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  The daily card really works best when it is what matters most right now.
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  So this is why I use just a Post-it Note, maybe an index card, but this
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  is even smaller, so I like it more.
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  At the beginning of the day, I choose three priorities, write them down.
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  But they're not just vague priorities, although there have been times where
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  smile at the children actually does go on my list, because sometimes that's
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  what I actually need to focus on doing.
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  So this list, especially because it is focused on just today, allows me to be
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  present today and recognize what matters to my family that I do or be today.
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  That's what I need in front of my face.
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  I don't need everything.
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  I need what's in front of my face I need my priorities in front of my face.
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  And that takes practice.
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  It takes a lot of time actually to figure that out.
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  It's not something that most women just wake up in the morning knowing.
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  So if this sounds like it would be difficult to do, or, you know, you don't
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  even know how to get there, to choose your priorities for the day, let me tell you,
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  that long list isn't helping you either.
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  So go do that free training from Overwhelmed to Organized at
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  simplyconvivial.com/organized,
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  because I talk there about how to discover those priorities
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  and what goes on your card.
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  And it really does take time and practice.
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  It's something that doesn't necessarily make sense informationally until you
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  start trying it out and practicing it.
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  It's the doing of it where it really starts to click
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  It really is difficult to choose only three things to go on your list, but
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  recognizing that our time is limited and also recognizing that if we do the things
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  that we really need to do today, like make that appointment, homeschool the kids
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  recover the laundry disaster, then we actually have to
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  count the day as a success.
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  And so the daily card allows us to narrow down our focus and
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  attention and recognize that we have done something important today.
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  Because so often, like my temptation and the temptation I see again and
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  again in Convivial Circle is that We focus on all that we haven't done.
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  That big long list reminds us that there is so much more to do than there is
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  time or energy, and so we end up saying that we've failed or saying we haven't
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  done anything today when the reality is we did what was most important.
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  We just maybe didn't do any extras.
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  Maybe we didn't do what we hoped we would get to, but that's entirely different than
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  actually doing what we need to be doing
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  So pull out an index card, write down three things that matter most
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  today, and do those without looking at all the things you could be doing.
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  You don't need that list.
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  You need a list of three, and I would love to unpack this more and
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  get really dig into it with you.
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  So join that free training on demand anytime, simplyconvivial.com/organized
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  to get that free training.
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  And tell me in the comments, what is your one top priority today?
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  What are you gonna do today that matters most?
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  These are the kinds of decisions that we need to make to really become more
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  productive and cheerful in our homes.
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  And it's one way that we repent, rejoice, repeat