Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #602 Holiday Hot Seat - Dr Amantha Imber

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#602 Holiday Hot Seat - Dr Amantha Imber · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
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  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
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  Speaker 2: on answers now Gooday.
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  Speaker 1: This is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder of Happy Families
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  Speaker 1: dot com dot a you dades six, daughter's husband to
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  Speaker 1: one wife and the parenting expert and co host on
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  Speaker 1: chan Lyne's Parental Guidance. Also the host of this podcast,
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  Speaker 1: that Happy Families Podcast. Thank you so much for listening
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  Speaker 1: and allowing me into your life to hopefully be useful
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  Speaker 1: in making your family happier. Right now, school holidays in Queensland,
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  Speaker 1: which means that I'm doing my best to spend as
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  Speaker 1: much time in the sunshine with Kylie and the girls
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  Speaker 1: as I can. Today I'm a Happy Family's podcast, a
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  Speaker 1: really special guest and somebody who's become a personal friend
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  Speaker 1: and certainly a friend of the podcast. Amantha Imbat. Doctor
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  Speaker 1: Amantha Imba has a business called Inventium and an absolutely
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  Speaker 1: fantastic podcast called How I Work. Amantha has got so
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  Speaker 1: much to offer the entire world. I love talking with
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  Speaker 1: her and she joins me for today's Happy Family Lightning
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  Speaker 1: Round podcast. So Amantha joins me for a Lightning Round. Amantha,
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  Speaker 1: you don't know what you're in for do you I'm scared?
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  Speaker 2: Should I be scared?
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  Speaker 1: No, you'll be fine. Tell us as we start this
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  Speaker 1: straight away, how many kids do you have and how
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  Speaker 1: old are they.
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  Speaker 2: I've got one daughter, Frankie, who is eighth.
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  Speaker 1: Well that ruins my second question. Do you have a
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  Speaker 1: favorite child?
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  Speaker 2: Well, let me think about that. I think it's Frankie today.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, next question for you. I deal number of kids.
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  Speaker 3: I am a very happy only child and I wanted
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  Speaker 3: one child, so that would be one. That would be
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  Speaker 3: one because I had such a positive experience. But you know,
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  Speaker 3: some days I go, oh, maybe it would have been
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  Speaker 3: nice to have more, but I did choose one.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, how do you rate yourself as a parent?
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  Speaker 2: Oh?
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  Speaker 3: God, there's always room for improvement. I think so, so
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  Speaker 3: so much about it. I see a psychologist to bounce
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  Speaker 3: around ideas with to be a better parent. So I
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  Speaker 3: think I'm quite obsessive about it in like I think
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  Speaker 3: a healthy way. But I would like to think because
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  Speaker 3: I think about it so much and read so many
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  Speaker 3: books about it, then maybe that makes me a little
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  Speaker 3: bit better than I think I am.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, what's something great that your parents did that you've
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  Speaker 1: tried to continue in your parenting.
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  Speaker 3: The unconditional love and support, that would be the biggest thing.
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  Speaker 1: I love it. Okay, here's a tricky one, and this
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  Speaker 1: is particularly tricky because you're co parenting. You and your
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  Speaker 1: partner are no longer together. Who's the better parent you
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  Speaker 1: or your partner?
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  Speaker 2: Goodness?
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  Speaker 3: For me?
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  Speaker 1: I love this question.
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  Speaker 3: I can I answer this question without alienating the other partner.
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  Speaker 2: Or modesty aside? I think I'm doing pretty well well.
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  Speaker 1: You know you should push that modesty aside. I just
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  Speaker 1: love asking that question so people can squirm, and you
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  Speaker 1: squirmed like everyone else. Thank you so much for that, Amantha.
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  Speaker 1: Next question, what's the hardest thing about being a parent?
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  Speaker 3: I think it's it's seeing your child struggle with something
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  Speaker 3: and knowing that one of the best things that you
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  Speaker 3: can do is to not help them overcome it. Instead,
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  Speaker 3: you can empower them with the skills to get through
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  Speaker 3: it themselves. I really struggle with that.
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  Speaker 1: I love that answer though. If you could spend an
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  Speaker 1: hour with your eight year old daughter Frankie at any age,
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  Speaker 1: what age would you choose and why?
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  Speaker 3: I think the older she gets, the more I just
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  Speaker 3: love our conversations.
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  Speaker 2: You know, the things that.
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  Speaker 3: She says, it's like that, like, there's no one else
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  Speaker 3: that I would prefer to have a chat with than Frankie,
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  Speaker 3: even though she's eight, and I anticipate that that will
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  Speaker 3: get better and better.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe that will go for a dip in the team year, but.
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  Speaker 3: I think if it continues on that trajectory, I think
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  Speaker 3: it'd be pretty.
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  Speaker 2: Cool to chat to her when she's an adult.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, so which age you haven't really answered the question.
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  Speaker 2: I haven't answered the question at all.
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  Speaker 3: I'm going to say maybe when she's my age forty four,
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  Speaker 3: I would love to see what she has done in
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  Speaker 3: her life. And when I'm older. I can't do the
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  Speaker 3: maths on the spot, but that would be kind of cool.
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  Speaker 1: What's the ultimate joy for you as a parent?
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  Speaker 3: It's seeing Frankie laugh and her sense of humor. She'd like,
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  Speaker 3: no one makes me laugh like Frankie.
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  Speaker 1: I know this is supposed to be a lightning round,
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  Speaker 1: but I've got to add something here. One of my
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  Speaker 1: favorite answers to a question when every now and again,
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  Speaker 1: I'll do one of those rapid fire kind of things
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  Speaker 1: myself and one person once said to me favorite place
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  Speaker 1: in the world, and I said, ah, in my wife's arms,
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  Speaker 1: and they said, oh no, seriously, what's your favorite place
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  Speaker 1: in the lord? I said, okay, right in the middle
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  Speaker 1: of a big belly laugh with my kids. And you've
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  Speaker 1: just kind of said that same, that same idea. Ultimate
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  Speaker 1: joy is just seeing your children happy. It's just beautiful. Anyway,
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  Speaker 1: I digress. We've got about five to go. Let's do
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  Speaker 1: It's this one. This one is the hardest one. This
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  Speaker 1: is the hardest one. Are you ready?
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  Speaker 2: Yes?
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  Speaker 1: What's the right age for kids to have a mobile phone? Amantha?
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  Speaker 3: Can I rephrase that question to what's the right age
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  Speaker 3: for my daughter to have a mobile?
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  Speaker 1: Sure? Go for it.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I think as as a divorced parent, I felt
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  Speaker 3: like about a year ago was when I gave Frankie
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  Speaker 3: a dumb phone, so it does nothing but make calls
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  Speaker 3: and send text messages, because I felt it was important
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  Speaker 3: that if she was at my ex's house that she
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  Speaker 3: could still communicate with me if she wanted to.
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  Speaker 2: But in terms of a smartphone, gosh.
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  Speaker 3: It's so hard because I feel like I'm talking without experience,
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  Speaker 3: because I haven't experienced having a child who's older than eight.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, but you've got a psychology degree, right, You're a psychologist,
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  Speaker 1: you know everything, Come on.
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  Speaker 3: Gosh, yeah, Look, I would think in terms of a
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  Speaker 3: smartphone as late as possible. I mean, not a lot
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  Speaker 3: of good comes when you have a smartphone.
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  Speaker 1: I would say, Okay, that's not an age, but I'm
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  Speaker 1: going to accept it because time is running out. The
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  Speaker 1: clock's ticking. Okay, last couple of questions. What's that thing
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  Speaker 1: that your parents always said that you swore you would
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  Speaker 1: never say, but it keeps popping out of your mouth.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm a worry.
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  Speaker 3: What be careful, be careful, be careful on the monkey bars, Frankie,
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  Speaker 3: you might break your arm. Be careful doing this thing
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  Speaker 3: that all children should be doing. But I'm being a
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  Speaker 3: worry What that would be the thing?
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  Speaker 1: What's Frankie's favorite thing to do with you?
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  Speaker 2: Trade? Pokemon would be up there, and also at a.
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  Speaker 1: Moment, Pokemon. I know Pokemon. I don't do Pokemon.
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  Speaker 3: I'm not a huge fan, but it's not on my
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  Speaker 3: don't list, and I do I also we at the moment,
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  Speaker 3: we're playing a lot of exploding kittens right, Yes, hard game,
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  Speaker 3: not an actual activity to do with cats.
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  Speaker 1: My kids have the same game and they love exploding kittens.
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  Speaker 1: What are you most looking forward to as a parent.
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  Speaker 3: I'm looking forward to seeing what sort of a woman
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  Speaker 3: Frankie grows into being. I'm deeply curious and excited about that.
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  Speaker 1: Second last question, if you could go back to you
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  Speaker 1: as a young parent, having one of those tough moments
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  Speaker 1: and being inexperienced, what advice would you give yourself.
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  Speaker 3: Stop setting your expectations so high?
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  Speaker 1: How are you going with that right now?
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  Speaker 2: Not great? Need to take my own advice.
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  Speaker 1: Last question for you, Amantha Imber, the podcast host of
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  Speaker 1: How I Work? What has been your biggest win so
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  Speaker 1: far as a mum?
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  Speaker 3: I mean, divorce is never great for kids, but I
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  Speaker 3: think that my greatest win is just seeing how resilient
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  Speaker 3: Frankie has been in adapting over the last three years
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  Speaker 3: to having essentially two separate lives, two separate houses, two
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  Speaker 3: separate sets of things. And I'm just so I'm just
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  Speaker 3: blown away by how amazing she has been during this
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  Speaker 3: thing that she did not ask to happen, but has
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  Speaker 3: happened in her life.
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  Speaker 1: Amantha Imber, thank you so much for joining me on
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  Speaker 1: the Happy Families podcast for a lightning round.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you and sorry for not being super lightning with
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  Speaker 3: some of those answers.
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  Speaker 1: Amantha Imber is the author of time Wise and the
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  Speaker 1: host of the How I Work podcast. You can check
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  Speaker 1: it out wherever you listen to your podcasts. I highly
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  Speaker 1: recommend it. It's a lot of fun. The Happy Families
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  Speaker 1: podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig
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  Speaker 1: Bruce is our executive producer and for more information about
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  Speaker 1: making your family happy, you can visit us at happy
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  Speaker 1: families dot com dot au.