Latest / Untraditionally Lala / BONUS: Let's Talk About (BAD) Sex!
Transcript
- 0:06Speaker 1: Hello, good, just welcome to the Gift them a la
- 0:09Speaker 1: la bonus episode. Oh my gosh, I'm really.
- 0:12Speaker 2: Excited for this.
- 0:13Speaker 3: But this is truly a boner episode.
- 0:16Speaker 1: You guys, truly a boner episode, jess You were telling
- 0:20Speaker 1: me that, like the more sexual content when we do
- 0:23Speaker 1: the clips, when we put them on TikTok, they do great.
- 0:27Speaker 4: They get more interaction and the one of you being
- 0:31Speaker 4: vulnerable as a mama, that got a lot too. But yeah,
- 0:36Speaker 4: and we get a lot of dms on Instagram when
- 0:39Speaker 4: we talk sexy. But I know, not everyone loves it,
- 0:42Speaker 4: so we're not. I know we're not going to do
- 0:43Speaker 4: it all the time for bonus.
- 0:44Speaker 1: But bonus, well yeah, yeah, I feel like today we
- 0:49Speaker 1: can do it. We we're gonna hit all the notes
- 0:51Speaker 1: with the bonus episodes, but today we're talking about, Jessica.
- 0:56Speaker 1: What is the theme of today's guys?
- 0:59Speaker 4: The prompt and I want to make sure. I mean,
- 1:02Speaker 4: it's a basic prompt, but it's so fun. The prompt
- 1:05Speaker 4: is worst sexual experience. And we're going to start off
- 1:10Speaker 4: with our Easton Care to share Easton?
- 1:13Speaker 1: Do you want to go first? Can I share two?
- 1:16Speaker 3: Please?
- 1:17Speaker 2: Do?
- 1:17Speaker 1: Okay?
- 1:18Speaker 2: Okay? Mine was like high school. But I'm a good guy,
- 1:22Speaker 2: and you know, good guys do things, So.
- 1:25Speaker 1: Good guys do things, Okay.
- 1:27Speaker 2: I I usually you know, finger stuff first and then
- 1:33Speaker 2: you gotta.
- 1:33Speaker 3: Smell smell your fingis.
- 1:35Speaker 2: Yeah, you kind of do it with so they don't
- 1:37Speaker 2: know you're doing.
- 1:38Speaker 1: Easton, Can we do each other a favor right now,
- 1:40Speaker 1: Let's pretend like we're not related shape or form.
- 1:44Speaker 2: So it was a smelly kitty And no, I don't
- 1:48Speaker 2: know if most guys do this, but usually when you
- 1:50Speaker 2: know you're making out getting intimate. I don't know, do
- 1:53Speaker 2: you guys making out at this age just turns into sex?
- 1:56Speaker 2: Have you noticed that.
- 1:58Speaker 1: I'm making out thirty three? Or high school?
- 2:00Speaker 2: No? Like high school, you could make out dirt a
- 2:03Speaker 2: little bit and you'd go home.
- 2:04Speaker 1: And dry hump.
- 2:07Speaker 3: Oh have you ever came from dry humping?
- 2:12Speaker 2: No? No, there was a dude that dirt with jeans
- 2:14Speaker 2: on and he cut his dick up. I was like, dude, no,
- 2:17Speaker 2: I'd have said, you're hurting me. Like for you to
- 2:20Speaker 2: just sit there and be like this is so great
- 2:22Speaker 2: and this never happens that I'll just take the dick ripping.
- 2:25Speaker 2: Oh yeahtheart up and off?
- 2:29Speaker 3: Hold on? Did you fingered.
- 2:31Speaker 2: So, yeah, I tested the waters, tested the waters smell
- 2:35Speaker 2: and it wasn't a very it was a very gross smell.
- 2:40Speaker 3: And you just kept having just.
- 2:42Speaker 2: A nice guy, can't be like, yeah, you vagina stinks, goodbye.
- 2:46Speaker 1: I would pretend like my dog divers, like you just
- 2:50Speaker 1: cla well, like you just I would have said, hold on,
- 2:56Speaker 1: I got to go to the bathroom.
- 2:58Speaker 2: And then that.
- 3:00Speaker 1: Fuck said I have some really bad news.
- 3:03Speaker 2: Your vagina stings like my dad dog that I'm pretending
- 3:06Speaker 2: that my dog died. Okay, so did your cat from
- 3:10Speaker 2: the smell of it.
- 3:11Speaker 1: You know what, let me tell you something to my
- 3:14Speaker 1: ladies out there.
- 3:15Speaker 2: Wash up.
- 3:16Speaker 1: When you're sexual well, yes, absolutely wash up. But when
- 3:18Speaker 1: you are sexually active, you know you you have some
- 3:21Speaker 1: tools present. Sure, shove it up there, give it a swirl,
- 3:26Speaker 1: give it a taste. Yeah, make what I think, make
- 3:29Speaker 1: sure you're good to go.
- 3:30Speaker 2: Yeah it, taste yourself. If a girl won't taste herself either.
- 3:33Speaker 3: That's when you know you got to the red flag.
- 3:35Speaker 2: Red flag. But yeah, that was my that was the
- 3:37Speaker 2: worst sexual experience. Because how old are you?
- 3:40Speaker 1: A sophomore or no?
- 3:41Speaker 2: I probably like twenty.
- 3:45Speaker 1: You said you were in high school.
- 3:46Speaker 2: Oh, I lied out of high school.
- 3:49Speaker 1: Collegey collegey? Say a high school. I remember you being
- 3:54Speaker 1: kind of pint.
- 3:55Speaker 2: No, I didn't get lad in high school. We all
- 3:57Speaker 2: know that I was like five or five.
- 3:58Speaker 1: He was so cute, little bitty beans. He was a
- 4:03Speaker 1: little bitty bean, so he wasn't flicking people were.
- 4:08Speaker 3: I liked the tiny boys. My first boyfriend, Tommy was tiny,
- 4:12Speaker 3: and I made out.
- 4:13Speaker 2: With tiny tiny tom How you made out with him hard?
- 4:16Speaker 3: We were in like seventh grade.
- 4:18Speaker 4: Oh, I made out of him.
- 4:20Speaker 3: I was a little risque.
- 4:21Speaker 4: I didn't do any under the pants stuff, but i'd
- 4:24Speaker 4: do a nice little dry hump at fourteen out Are
- 4:27Speaker 4: you kidding me?
- 4:28Speaker 3: Watch out? Thirteen?
- 4:29Speaker 2: See I got I didn't get to do the durfing.
- 4:32Speaker 2: No one wanted to durf me.
- 4:33Speaker 1: Sorry. You were too busy playing with your like other
- 4:36Speaker 1: small friends, not.
- 4:38Speaker 2: Them with my small friends and playing with my small penis.
- 4:43Speaker 2: High school was great.
- 4:45Speaker 4: Oh no, okay, get into your two lot because I'm
- 4:48Speaker 4: dying to know worst sexual experiences.
- 4:52Speaker 1: H my worst sexual experience. The first one was this
- 4:58Speaker 1: guy who we had had sex before whatever, and he
- 5:02Speaker 1: played football in Seattle. He was like, hey, come out
- 5:06Speaker 1: for the weekend. I was living in Utah and I
- 5:07Speaker 1: was like, great, sounds good. I had just wrapped up
- 5:11Speaker 1: Anti Flow, and I was like, we're killing the game.
- 5:15Speaker 1: I go out, we sleep together.
- 5:18Speaker 2: Did he wrap him up?
- 5:20Speaker 1: Obviously?
- 5:20Speaker 2: What did you wrap him up? Oh?
- 5:22Speaker 1: We always used condoms. Save sex is great sex exactly
- 5:29Speaker 1: you Conye West?
- 5:30Speaker 3: No, that was Lil Wayne. Come on, we see baby.
- 5:36Speaker 3: Please say the motherfucking baby. Oh no, fuck you?
- 5:46Speaker 1: Yeah?
- 5:47Speaker 3: Oh my god.
- 5:48Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, I love hip hop music. What lill Wayne?
- 5:57Speaker 1: You're right? Yeah, lost my virginity to that song Lollipop remix.
- 6:03Speaker 1: I am at.
- 6:06Speaker 3: Her about me now that I knew that lyrics because.
- 6:12Speaker 2: That song, what song.
- 6:16Speaker 3: That's a hot song to lose your virginity too.
- 6:18Speaker 1: That's why I said it, because that is the remix
- 6:20Speaker 1: with Kanye West.
- 6:22Speaker 3: No, it's not, yes, it is yes, it is Bob.
- 6:26Speaker 1: That's why I knew. I knew I was onto something.
- 6:28Speaker 1: It was the remix where he's likest is just like
- 6:31Speaker 1: that le Pard. It's the remix.
- 6:37Speaker 3: Yeah, am I right? Look like you don't want it. No,
- 6:41Speaker 3: that's that's Little Wayne.
- 6:43Speaker 1: No, it's not sophisticate because the brain is off the chain.
- 6:46Speaker 3: And then that's Little Wayne still.
- 6:48Speaker 1: But it's the remix I think is with hold on,
- 6:51Speaker 1: we need we really need to deep dive in. Okay, No,
- 6:56Speaker 1: he goes, she ride my space ship till she get
- 6:59Speaker 1: to dry up.
- 7:00Speaker 3: Then I hit this, Yeah it is Kanye, yes, and
- 7:06Speaker 3: she gets.
- 7:06Speaker 1: So oh I knew I was smarter than you.
- 7:10Speaker 3: It is right, it's little Way Kanye.
- 7:12Speaker 1: I think that's all right, it's the remix. Yes, okay,
- 7:16Speaker 1: I feel so.
- 7:16Speaker 2: Much better about myself.
- 7:18Speaker 1: I really was judging. I was like, okay, now we've
- 7:20Speaker 1: really fallen off and we need to get back on anyway.
- 7:23Speaker 1: So of course I blow his fucking mind because that's
- 7:27Speaker 1: just what I do in bed Eastern closure ears done.
- 7:30Speaker 1: I don't know you, you don't know me right now, perfect,
- 7:35Speaker 1: And he's embarrassed and he wants to do round two
- 7:38Speaker 1: because he feels like he needs to prove himself sure,
- 7:40Speaker 1: So I'm like fuck it whatever, like, and I'm also
- 7:43Speaker 1: like trying to stroke his ego. We do it again,
- 7:48Speaker 1: and I'm clearly like still getting rid of whatever I'm
- 7:54Speaker 1: getting rid of right now. Me at that point in time,
- 7:58Speaker 1: I was probably twenty twenty two period.
- 8:03Speaker 3: Yes, okay, I want to make sure I'm understanding.
- 8:04Speaker 1: And he was not happy about it, okay, And if
- 8:11Speaker 1: this happened to me now and a man reacted to
- 8:14Speaker 1: me that way, I'd be looking at him, going, you
- 8:16Speaker 1: are lucky that that I just graced you with this.
- 8:22Speaker 5: I could have a baby, I birth babies. I make
- 8:25Speaker 5: life right, like you're welcome right. But at this point
- 8:29Speaker 5: in time, I was very insecure about this.
- 8:34Speaker 1: It made me so insecure. Anyway, I go home whatever,
- 8:38Speaker 1: I don't go home. He leaves to go to practice,
- 8:41Speaker 1: and I'm doing the bedding right. He comes home from
- 8:44Speaker 1: practice and we get back into the bed because it's
- 8:48Speaker 1: nighttime at this point, and he looks at the sheets
- 8:51Speaker 1: and goes, you couldn't get this out, and there's like
- 8:55Speaker 1: a little dot of blood. And finally I lost it.
- 8:59Speaker 1: I was like, good, I lost it on him, and
- 9:01Speaker 1: I was like, and also, you've got a bloody arm
- 9:04Speaker 1: that you have bandage that I'm sure it's from that.
- 9:06Speaker 1: And I basically told him to go fuck himself good
- 9:09Speaker 1: And I never spoke to him again. And I was
- 9:13Speaker 1: so disgusted. He looks a hot mess now and was
- 9:16Speaker 1: dropped from the league pretty soon after that. Most of
- 9:20Speaker 1: them turned into like pretty big fucking losers. Yeah, the
- 9:23Speaker 1: ones that like I was so upset about. The other
- 9:26Speaker 1: one was I was banging it out with a basketball
- 9:28Speaker 1: player and he lasted forty five seconds, and it was
- 9:31Speaker 1: like I talked to you for some months and I
- 9:34Speaker 1: was thinking, like this was gonna be amazing. We've been
- 9:38Speaker 1: waiting to see each other, talking every single day, and
- 9:42Speaker 1: now I'm in your city and you last forty five
- 9:46Speaker 1: seconds and don't even like try to finish me off.
- 9:50Speaker 4: Mister forty five. The disappointing part is not trying to
- 9:53Speaker 4: finish you off.
- 9:54Speaker 1: Forty I called him, We call him mister forty five.
- 9:57Speaker 4: Yeah, is not trying to finish you off. Because here's
- 9:59Speaker 4: the thing. Forty five seconds you're like, oh hell yeah,
- 10:02Speaker 4: I just rocked his world. But then not then being
- 10:04Speaker 4: like okay, good night, that was your.
- 10:07Speaker 1: Mind, right, And I was like, he's an athlete, so
- 10:09Speaker 1: I know that he's like getting cookie right, like he's lasting. No,
- 10:15Speaker 1: he was not lasting.
- 10:16Speaker 2: Maybe he hasn't had sex a lot.
- 10:18Speaker 1: Boo boo.
- 10:21Speaker 4: Men, if you don't last long, that's okay, but that's
- 10:25Speaker 4: give me a girl what they need.
- 10:27Speaker 2: Just finish up the job. Yeah right, Yeah, I'm having
- 10:32Speaker 2: to do that because I'm usually coming quick.
- 10:34Speaker 3: Okay, here's mine. It almost left me.
- 10:40Speaker 4: See that's the attitude for me, just blessed to be here.
- 10:44Speaker 4: Mine was of so long ago, and I was like
- 10:48Speaker 4: experimenting with like, oh, come on.
- 10:50Speaker 3: My face and stuff. It's like this will be hot.
- 10:54Speaker 3: It was a relationship. But I had had him come
- 10:57Speaker 3: on like the lower part of.
- 10:58Speaker 1: My face before a clause Yesta Claus deal.
- 11:03Speaker 3: So I'm on my knees and then he comes on
- 11:06Speaker 3: my face, but it gets in my eye. I didn't.
- 11:10Speaker 3: I didn't.
- 11:10Speaker 4: I had maybe gotten come in my eye before, but
- 11:12Speaker 4: it's been fine while this.
- 11:14Speaker 3: I don't know what he ate. I don't know what
- 11:16Speaker 3: was going on.
- 11:16Speaker 4: It felt like you were you would cut a jalapeno
- 11:20Speaker 4: and shove it in my eye.
- 11:22Speaker 3: My eye just I was like, I'm like, it's bote.
- 11:31Speaker 2: He was like, what what's going on?
- 11:33Speaker 3: I think? And I'm like running naked through his house
- 11:35Speaker 3: and go to the bathroom. I'm like washing it out.
- 11:38Speaker 3: I'm like, what's going on? What did you eat?
- 11:40Speaker 4: And he's like, I don't know anyway, just red as
- 11:43Speaker 4: red as can be.
- 11:45Speaker 3: What do you think it was? I have no idea,
- 11:47Speaker 3: you think no he was. He was my boyfriend. I
- 11:53Speaker 3: won't say too much. I don't want to say how
- 11:54Speaker 3: long because then because of skyle, he was my boyfriend.
- 12:01Speaker 3: And with all my.
- 12:02Speaker 4: Boyfriends, I we do the STD check, so I knew
- 12:04Speaker 4: he hadn't cheated on me.
- 12:06Speaker 3: Thank god it was not.
- 12:07Speaker 4: But I think it was something he ate or it
- 12:09Speaker 4: just and I told him from now on I was
- 12:11Speaker 4: dead serious, and he always got so pissed.
- 12:14Speaker 3: You can come on my face. You just have to
- 12:17Speaker 3: let me wear goggles and I and he would get
- 12:20Speaker 3: so fid be like, I'm not alone. I'm not letting
- 12:23Speaker 3: you wear goggles.
- 12:25Speaker 2: You just want to champion champagne. Yes, swim putting.
- 12:34Speaker 1: Put on your bifocals.
- 12:37Speaker 2: If I was trying to get off to a woman
- 12:40Speaker 2: on her knees, I would feel like a fucking pedophile.
- 12:46Speaker 3: No, I don't get the problem.
- 12:49Speaker 4: If I wear normal glasses, the com can still get
- 12:52Speaker 4: in my eye.
- 12:52Speaker 3: So give me.
- 12:53Speaker 4: Let me wear goggles and you close your eyes. I
- 12:54Speaker 4: don't know what to tell you. Let me wear swim goggles.
- 12:58Speaker 4: I don't think it's that big of an ask. Then
- 13:01Speaker 4: you could come all over the space. Okay, that's you're
- 13:04Speaker 4: a freak.
- 13:06Speaker 2: Dude.
- 13:07Speaker 1: All right, let's hear what other people had to say.
- 13:10Speaker 3: Okay, first one, me and my high school boyfriend. You
- 13:15Speaker 3: guys are so funny.
- 13:17Speaker 4: Me and my Okay, me and my high school boyfriend
- 13:21Speaker 4: tried anal for the first time with conditioner as lube,
- 13:25Speaker 4: and I passed out.
- 13:27Speaker 3: Wait why did she pass out?
- 13:31Speaker 2: The pain because it was a camera? Yeah, because I
- 13:38Speaker 2: was happy.
- 13:38Speaker 1: Have been the chemicals, because your butthole is biggest vein.
- 13:46Speaker 1: That could have been. Why the chemicals?
- 13:48Speaker 2: Hold on? What kind of conditioner we made? She said,
- 13:51Speaker 2: to write back in with what kind?
- 13:53Speaker 1: I hope it was one that didn't test on animals?
- 13:56Speaker 4: Me too, I think that, Yes, me too. I'm sorry
- 14:01Speaker 4: about that, but that just made me laugh. Shaving all
- 14:05Speaker 4: over to look like a baby dolphin and buying a
- 14:07Speaker 4: one horning what like.
- 14:09Speaker 1: How desperate do you have to how horny to be?
- 14:12Speaker 1: Like just put it in my ass this conditioner? Like
- 14:18Speaker 1: you didn't plan this out, like you just got horny.
- 14:22Speaker 1: I think you never have done it done it before.
- 14:24Speaker 1: It would be a well thought out plan, like we
- 14:27Speaker 1: need the ky jelly, let's google, like, let's do some
- 14:30Speaker 1: xlax instead.
- 14:34Speaker 3: To make you ship. Yeah, they planned to anal. I
- 14:37Speaker 3: don't think they planned it.
- 14:40Speaker 2: Do you think it was in the shower? Maybe the
- 14:42Speaker 2: heat got her too.
- 14:43Speaker 3: No, I think it was in the bathroom.
- 14:45Speaker 4: I think they were hiding or probably at a high
- 14:47Speaker 4: school party.
- 14:50Speaker 2: Using conditioner to fuck anal at a high school?
- 14:53Speaker 3: Like, why not lotion?
- 14:54Speaker 1: Though? Why not anything? It's right there until you have
- 15:00Speaker 1: proper lubrication. That's true.
- 15:02Speaker 3: Do you like anal?
- 15:03Speaker 1: I don't knock the hole you want to go into, right,
- 15:06Speaker 1: I prefer don't get near my asshole because we've already
- 15:08Speaker 1: talked about it. I know what goes on down there,
- 15:10Speaker 1: but like I.
- 15:11Speaker 2: Don't want to each his own.
- 15:12Speaker 1: If you do get that an anal, but like I
- 15:16Speaker 1: feel like there's a way to do it.
- 15:18Speaker 3: You need properly. It shouldn't be scented.
- 15:20Speaker 1: And I talked to you.
- 15:26Speaker 2: Kind of like trash.
- 15:26Speaker 1: Guys that are for breeze.
- 15:32Speaker 3: That's bad for you. You'll pass out like this port I care.
- 15:35Speaker 2: I rather pass out. Yeah, I don't like anal.
- 15:40Speaker 3: I hate anal.
- 15:41Speaker 1: Get away from my asshole. But that sex specialist that
- 15:45Speaker 1: I had on like a while ago, I want to say,
- 15:48Speaker 1: like two years ago, I said, what's the one thing
- 15:50Speaker 1: that is the biggest game changer in sex. And she
- 15:53Speaker 1: was like, lube even if you're like no, no, but
- 15:58Speaker 1: she said like, I don't care if you are wet
- 16:02Speaker 1: as they call your young and fertile, and oh my gosh,
- 16:05Speaker 1: juice box lube changes everything.
- 16:08Speaker 2: So we can go from forty five to twenty eight.
- 16:11Speaker 1: So I feel like you should just have it on hand,
- 16:13Speaker 1: no matter what.
- 16:13Speaker 3: I bet because of like the tingling sensation or whatever.
- 16:16Speaker 3: I feel like I use.
- 16:19Speaker 2: Have you ever used ky jelly that his and hers? Yeah,
- 16:23Speaker 2: I use that one. Yeah, I is it game changing?
- 16:26Speaker 2: Well yeah, forty five secs, but yeah, we're not doing
- 16:29Speaker 2: much after.
- 16:29Speaker 1: That, mister forty five.
- 16:32Speaker 2: If you use ky jelly, it's twenty five.
- 16:34Speaker 3: Oh oh wow, oh shout out.
- 16:36Speaker 1: Kay, stop stop making it so that our female listeners
- 16:40Speaker 1: want to fuck you. Some twenty five seconds.
- 16:44Speaker 2: I'll finish off finger wise.
- 16:46Speaker 1: Man to someone else who's not my brother.
- 16:49Speaker 3: Very nice, very nice East shaving, that's true.
- 16:54Speaker 4: This is sad shaving all over to look like a
- 16:55Speaker 4: baby dolphin and buying new lingerie for thirty seconds of
- 16:58Speaker 4: shit in all caps.
- 16:59Speaker 2: No, maybe I fucked her at least I'm sure.
- 17:02Speaker 4: Oh, but like thirty seconds of shit sex.
- 17:07Speaker 1: That is the worst. Maybe I was the guy when
- 17:10Speaker 1: I have broken out my like yummiest lotions and I
- 17:16Speaker 1: am like, but what do you guys think is have
- 17:18Speaker 1: shaved good.
- 17:19Speaker 6: My lasered legs for you, right right, shaved my lasered
- 17:25Speaker 6: cookie for you, for you, mister forty.
- 17:29Speaker 4: Five, who doesn't even finish her off afterwards.
- 17:32Speaker 2: We can get we can get bad at those people.
- 17:34Speaker 2: But you, guys, what do you guys expect from us?
- 17:37Speaker 2: You come in, you look great in lingerie, You're soft.
- 17:41Speaker 2: I could look at you, touch you once and I'm
- 17:43Speaker 2: almost done.
- 17:44Speaker 1: Oh that's very and you're such a gentleman.
- 17:47Speaker 3: That's very sweet.
- 17:48Speaker 2: Either take the compliment, give me another thirty forty minutes
- 17:52Speaker 2: and their four.
- 17:54Speaker 3: Oh okay, right, all right, all right.
- 17:57Speaker 4: This I was giving a bloke I love with people job.
- 18:01Speaker 4: I was giving a bloke a blowjob.
- 18:03Speaker 1: I like when they call him, what's a bloke?
- 18:05Speaker 3: Like? This person is probably from England?
- 18:07Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, a guy.
- 18:09Speaker 4: I was giving a guy a blokeable blow job, and
- 18:11Speaker 4: he was so drunk he actually wet himself instead of coming.
- 18:16Speaker 3: I can't. I can't wet himself like Pete.
- 18:20Speaker 1: Yeah, because she said she was giving him a blow job. Yeah,
- 18:23Speaker 1: my love, he peede in her mouth.
- 18:25Speaker 2: I know fetish.
- 18:27Speaker 1: I would have bitch slap, I would throw up. That
- 18:30Speaker 1: is beyond a horrific experience. That's not just.
- 18:33Speaker 2: Like a lot of people like it, but some people
- 18:36Speaker 2: like getting golden showers.
- 18:37Speaker 1: But that needs to be discussed. Don't golden shower me
- 18:40Speaker 1: unless we've spoken about it. And also, like, let's also
- 18:43Speaker 1: be in a shower, golden shower me in an.
- 18:46Speaker 2: Actual shower with I can't see a guy wanting to
- 18:49Speaker 2: golden shower like if a girl was like golden shower me.
- 18:52Speaker 2: I look at it, and I don't think we're on
- 18:54Speaker 2: the same past week.
- 18:55Speaker 1: But that's why it's important because like again, this is
- 18:57Speaker 1: a judgment free zone. Everyone won't have their own kinks.
- 19:01Speaker 1: Like that's why things have to be spoken about with
- 19:03Speaker 1: your sexual If you're having a one night stand, just
- 19:06Speaker 1: assume that it's regular old g rated sex. All right,
- 19:11Speaker 1: you're hitting it from behind, your legs are in the air, missionary,
- 19:15Speaker 1: don't try your kinks out on a one night stand
- 19:18Speaker 1: unless you met on some weird fetish website and you're
- 19:21Speaker 1: on the same page.
- 19:22Speaker 2: I have a question for the both of you, yeah,
- 19:24Speaker 2: how long should a guy last?
- 19:26Speaker 4: Oh, to me, it's like it doesn't it doesn't matter.
- 19:30Speaker 4: You can last ten seconds.
- 19:31Speaker 3: But then what's not the sound of it?
- 19:35Speaker 1: Then he was like rolled over and we.
- 19:37Speaker 3: Watched Rush Hour, great movies of all the movies.
- 19:41Speaker 1: And I'm looking at a show a guy.
- 19:44Speaker 2: If a guy isn't going to finish you off, so good, it.
- 19:52Speaker 1: Is so good, all all of them. Because how many
- 19:55Speaker 1: are there? Three?
- 19:56Speaker 3: There are nights, Four is coming out.
- 19:59Speaker 2: I think they say four was in the works.
- 20:01Speaker 3: Okay, why are you asking about lasting? How long?
- 20:03Speaker 1: Would how long?
- 20:04Speaker 2: Well? No, let me hear what I feel like.
- 20:06Speaker 1: We start pushing into like the twenty five thirty minute range,
- 20:10Speaker 1: like please stop.
- 20:11Speaker 4: Don't have sex with me for thirty minutes unless we're
- 20:13Speaker 4: four playing, unless we're doing things, unless we're in like
- 20:16Speaker 4: a kinky little like blood.
- 20:19Speaker 1: Yeah, like a whole the whole thing, but like, please
- 20:22Speaker 1: don't jackhammer. Like okay, so actual insertion.
- 20:28Speaker 3: I feel like twenty is such a good spot.
- 20:31Speaker 4: Twenty minute now yeah, like fifteen to twenty actual insertion.
- 20:35Speaker 3: But also we're moving around and doing our things.
- 20:38Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, girls, keep it in, keep the coming.
- 20:43Speaker 4: You could also do edging of sorts, you're about to
- 20:46Speaker 4: come and then what was that?
- 20:48Speaker 1: Will you take it out?
- 20:49Speaker 3: Yes, it's like last the.
- 20:51Speaker 2: Man power that would take to pull.
- 20:53Speaker 3: Out, you gotta do it.
- 20:56Speaker 1: It's like, what the fuck are you fucking? Rihanna, Like
- 20:58Speaker 1: you're actually think you're fucking like.
- 21:00Speaker 2: The mostmo wago. You get a five everywhere I go.
- 21:07Speaker 1: No boo a tartar a tar tar.
- 21:13Speaker 3: Okay, I've done this before. This was bad.
- 21:17Speaker 4: Started getting hot and heavy with my ex did the deed.
- 21:20Speaker 4: Then realize I had a tampon in have you Have
- 21:22Speaker 4: you ever done that lot?
- 21:23Speaker 1: No, but I've had a friend do that before and
- 21:26Speaker 1: she was doing it a lot with the same guy
- 21:29Speaker 1: who had a giant dick, and he was fine. Well,
- 21:34Speaker 1: they must have been comfortable with each other because he
- 21:36Speaker 1: was like something smells smells funky and he got it
- 21:41Speaker 1: out for her. I was like, what a cookie are
- 21:44Speaker 1: you giving that? A man would be like, and I'm
- 21:45Speaker 1: gonna go back and I'm gonna help you, Like that's
- 21:50Speaker 1: how it's never happened to me.
- 21:51Speaker 4: It happened to me, And it was the next day
- 21:54Speaker 4: I knew I knew it happened because I was like,
- 21:56Speaker 4: I was were you drunk. Yeah, I said I have
- 21:58Speaker 4: my period, and he and we just said it was consensual.
- 22:01Speaker 4: But we ended up having sex, and the next day
- 22:03Speaker 4: I was like, I had a tampon it and I
- 22:05Speaker 4: went straight to my guy now and she goes, that's okay,
- 22:07Speaker 4: this happens, and she took it up.
- 22:08Speaker 1: You couldn't dig it up there and get it.
- 22:10Speaker 3: That would make me pass out. There's really Oh my.
- 22:12Speaker 2: God, you couldn't go up there and dig it out.
- 22:14Speaker 3: I can't think of that. I shocked. It wouldn't make
- 22:16Speaker 3: you pass out.
- 22:17Speaker 1: No, it's weird, Like, yeah, I always wondered how I
- 22:22Speaker 1: gave birth and also how I could have a period
- 22:25Speaker 1: without passing out because blood makes me so nauseous.
- 22:28Speaker 3: Were you fine using tampons as a young really?
- 22:32Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 22:32Speaker 1: I think it's the pain or like the thought of
- 22:35Speaker 1: like a needle being in my arm and blood coming
- 22:37Speaker 1: out or something like like the it's more of a
- 22:39Speaker 1: mental anyway. There was a funny one about queefing in there.
- 22:42Speaker 1: Did you see I just pulled it up? Okay?
- 22:43Speaker 2: Good?
- 22:45Speaker 4: In high school, making out with dream guy went to
- 22:48Speaker 4: the next level, laid.
- 22:49Speaker 3: Down and creaped so loud I died. Making out with
- 22:53Speaker 3: her dream guy, so she wasn't even having sex, went
- 22:56Speaker 3: to the next level, laid down.
- 23:00Speaker 1: A nice level, meaning like I think that they like
- 23:03Speaker 1: maybe he was fingering her. There's got to be a
- 23:05Speaker 1: way for air to enter, so he there was something
- 23:08Speaker 1: that was putting the air inside.
- 23:11Speaker 3: I hate that word so much.
- 23:13Speaker 1: Quef. I remember in elementary school we were playing kickball
- 23:17Speaker 1: and I took the ball into the bathroom and I
- 23:19Speaker 1: brought it back out and this little fucker goes, did
- 23:22Speaker 1: you queep on it? And I didn't know what it meant,
- 23:25Speaker 1: but I immediately started crying because it got embarrassed. And
- 23:28Speaker 1: then I told the duty ratt, I have a rat.
- 23:34Speaker 2: The duty is the recess, the duty, the duty.
- 23:38Speaker 3: But this was their title for people.
- 23:41Speaker 1: Isn't that what it's called with everybody?
- 23:43Speaker 3: D U T Y. Yeah, I've never heard that in.
- 23:46Speaker 1: My life, where like they sit outside with a whistle.
- 23:49Speaker 2: She was our duty? Is that really it? I don't
- 23:52Speaker 2: know if that's it. Yeah, I don't producer John's given
- 23:56Speaker 2: us the I don't know if that's it either, but
- 23:57Speaker 2: I think we were calling it's called the duty.
- 24:00Speaker 1: You're also the name for oh, you're on duty.
- 24:03Speaker 4: It's also the kids that's why I was confused. Parents
- 24:08Speaker 4: came home early.
- 24:09Speaker 3: He made me hide in his closet, but asked.
- 24:12Speaker 1: Naked midst his parents came home.
- 24:16Speaker 3: Obviously it was probably college.
- 24:18Speaker 1: Well, I get it. I mean my mom could come home.
- 24:21Speaker 1: I'm a grown ass woman.
- 24:22Speaker 4: Would you make them? What would you do? Would you
- 24:25Speaker 4: say you gotta have a guest?
- 24:27Speaker 1: Well, by the way, if I was coming home and
- 24:29Speaker 1: we were gonna bump peepes, my mom would be shipped
- 24:33Speaker 1: off to Utah or somewhere else, or it should be
- 24:35Speaker 1: at the hotel. That's a little too close because then
- 24:41Speaker 1: I also have to assume that my baby's gone. Sure,
- 24:44Speaker 1: so we're having toys and all the fun, and like
- 24:47Speaker 1: you want to I want to get yep.
- 24:48Speaker 2: Yep, yep, yep, back house. They can't hear it.
- 24:51Speaker 1: Maybe I want to go into the back house, bibble
- 24:54Speaker 1: you know who knows, who knows? Dirty it all up?
- 24:58Speaker 2: Maybe get in the pool. That's why.
- 25:00Speaker 3: Let me tell you, though. Let me tell you.
- 25:01Speaker 4: If I'm having sex with a guy and his parents
- 25:03Speaker 4: come home and he makes me hide in the close,
- 25:06Speaker 4: I'm not doing it.
- 25:06Speaker 3: I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
- 25:08Speaker 1: I should hope not at thirty two.
- 25:11Speaker 3: In high school.
- 25:12Speaker 4: I wouldn't have done it. I would have said give
- 25:14Speaker 4: me a T shirt and I'll run out the window
- 25:16Speaker 4: or something.
- 25:17Speaker 3: I'm not doing it, would you.
- 25:19Speaker 1: I just I think Lauren would have been in a
- 25:20Speaker 1: closet for really, I feel like I've hidden a mony
- 25:24Speaker 1: closet naked.
- 25:27Speaker 4: When he came, he said, Spurmes, I hate him, spies.
- 25:35Speaker 3: I hate it so much. I hate it so much.
- 25:37Speaker 3: I'm sick.
- 25:37Speaker 2: I had a buddy that he came on a girl's chest. Yeah,
- 25:41Speaker 2: and then he like got no, he got some with
- 25:44Speaker 2: his thumb and then he wiped her forehead and went, Simba.
- 25:50Speaker 1: That was kind of badass.
- 25:51Speaker 3: That's kind of fun.
- 25:52Speaker 1: Was it his girlfriend? No, I don't know. I'm pretty
- 25:57Speaker 1: into the sun.
- 26:02Speaker 2: What do you do?
- 26:03Speaker 1: Laughs?
- 26:04Speaker 3: Yeah, I would laugh. That's funny. Spurmes is a little
- 26:07Speaker 3: like Spurmes is discover.
- 26:09Speaker 4: Spurmes is like, oh, you're cutesy, and I don't want
- 26:12Speaker 4: my man who just fucked me to be cutesy.
- 26:14Speaker 1: I also don't like when men say that they I
- 26:17Speaker 1: did have someone in high school say that they like
- 26:21Speaker 1: put like sprayed their babies on me, and it's like,
- 26:24Speaker 1: that's disgusting. Get away from me.
- 26:26Speaker 3: It's so gross, disgusting.
- 26:30Speaker 2: J Cole shame babysitting, but my kids all on her
- 26:33Speaker 2: count that's he's.
- 26:34Speaker 1: Jake hole though. Okay, he can tell me that his
- 26:37Speaker 1: babies are all over my stomach. Anytime dude was.
- 26:42Speaker 4: Dude, dude was high as fucking ends up dude was
- 26:50Speaker 4: high as fuck and ends up farting as giving you brown.
- 26:56Speaker 2: Now ship shrap on her chin.
- 27:00Speaker 1: Would be our poop particles real, yes, so she could
- 27:04Speaker 1: have gotten I'm disgusted once again.
- 27:09Speaker 3: Men are disgusting.
- 27:11Speaker 1: Well, it's like if you can't handle your refer bro
- 27:14Speaker 1: because you start getting gassy, like don't allow me to
- 27:16Speaker 1: put my mouth on your.
- 27:17Speaker 3: Tail, okay, or like you should can lightly move my
- 27:21Speaker 3: head up.
- 27:22Speaker 1: You should know this by now, just like I'm not
- 27:24Speaker 1: going to go to a steak dinner and fuck you
- 27:26Speaker 1: after why because it just ain't gonna be right?
- 27:32Speaker 2: All right?
- 27:37Speaker 3: Is this the last one because we're ending strong?
- 27:39Speaker 1: Okay?
- 27:40Speaker 3: Sad, it's sad.
- 27:42Speaker 4: This is not strong, This is like, this is not
- 27:45Speaker 4: good and you shouldn't So what is.
- 27:46Speaker 3: This the maybe we shouldn't do this one as you've done.
- 27:50Speaker 4: Yes, SDS gave me genital and oral herpes the first
- 27:55Speaker 4: time we slept together.
- 27:58Speaker 3: When I say, I'm calling the police.
- 28:01Speaker 1: But by the way, you can I know, doesn't he
- 28:03Speaker 1: have to tell you?
- 28:03Speaker 3: No, No, Ye ruin someone's life.
- 28:05Speaker 1: You ruin someone's life. In fact, I believe in some
- 28:09Speaker 1: states that's a form of rape. And you can. Yeah,
- 28:12Speaker 1: you don't disclose something. You don't disclose an STD you yes.
- 28:16Speaker 3: As it. I mean, that's horrific.
- 28:18Speaker 4: I've always made my partners do testing if we're gonna
- 28:21Speaker 4: have sex without a condom, and I don't like.
- 28:23Speaker 2: How all partners should want to do testing for themselves. Yeah,
- 28:26Speaker 2: no one should be forced into getting tested. Just go
- 28:28Speaker 2: get tested.
- 28:29Speaker 3: Yes, it's scary.
- 28:31Speaker 1: After I got sober and was like out here doing whatever,
- 28:36Speaker 1: I was very and I did not even care. It
- 28:38Speaker 1: was like, when's the last time that you were tested?
- 28:41Speaker 1: And can you pull up the report? Yes, because I'm
- 28:43Speaker 1: gonna need to see, like even if you're using protection,
- 28:45Speaker 1: like I need to see what it was you may have. Yeah,
- 28:49Speaker 1: because like I know I'm clean because I stay getting checked.
- 28:52Speaker 1: And also like no blowjobs unless you're my boyfriend, because
- 28:56Speaker 1: I got a baby that I'm kissing on and like
- 28:58Speaker 1: sorry not happening.
- 28:59Speaker 4: Oh good, Well, I think so many people forget you
- 29:02Speaker 4: can get STDs from oral men women.
- 29:06Speaker 1: Yeah, not happening. And I don't know what cookie you've
- 29:08Speaker 1: been munching on, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna like the
- 29:12Speaker 1: whole thing. It's just the whole thing is weird to me,
- 29:15Speaker 1: and I think that's another way. Well no, I mean
- 29:18Speaker 1: I've kissed on dudes, but when you really get down
- 29:20Speaker 1: to it, like people are filthy like you're, you've got
- 29:24Speaker 1: to make sure that they have a clean bill of
- 29:26Speaker 1: health before you're kissing on them, touching their pp.
- 29:29Speaker 2: Because you don't know about that without anybody getting pissed off.
- 29:33Speaker 1: Let me piss you off. You want to know what's
- 29:35Speaker 1: gonna piss me. And you've given me something that I
- 29:38Speaker 1: cannot get rid of that you've given me something even
- 29:40Speaker 1: if I can get rid of it.
- 29:42Speaker 3: When someone asks, I don't think it's offensive at all.
- 29:45Speaker 3: It's actually for me.
- 29:46Speaker 4: If a guy said, like, how I've had this happen before,
- 29:49Speaker 4: like are you good? And I've been like, felt so
- 29:52Speaker 4: much more comfortable because I think, God, he's asking, yeah right.
- 29:56Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I feel like if they get if a
- 29:59Speaker 1: guy doesn't ask you.
- 30:00Speaker 2: It's weird because most guys that I know will ask too.
- 30:02Speaker 1: Well, yeah, they're called respectable people.
- 30:05Speaker 2: I got good homies.
- 30:06Speaker 1: I always say, you gotta be an educated ho mm
- 30:09Speaker 1: hmmmm hmmm. I like that, but I'm a borning convergence.
- 30:13Speaker 1: It doesn't really matter, is that the high note?
- 30:18Speaker 2: Oh?
- 30:19Speaker 1: Sorry, sad, I know that.
- 30:23Speaker 3: Let's let's end on a better one. We are gonna
- 30:26Speaker 3: end on.
- 30:26Speaker 1: We should have ended on the anal conditioner.
- 30:32Speaker 3: You guys, that was so funny. See that one's sad too.
- 30:36Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, hold on, hold on, you guys. We're
- 30:38Speaker 3: gonna end.
- 30:38Speaker 1: But by the way, you are seen people that have
- 30:41Speaker 1: sent Yeah.
- 30:42Speaker 4: Okay, we're gonna end on this one. Micro dick on
- 30:46Speaker 4: a six nine man dot disappointment.
- 30:50Speaker 1: That is a huge disappointment.
- 30:51Speaker 3: Is a micro dick of micro penis?
- 30:53Speaker 1: Is that what micro penis?
- 30:54Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 30:54Speaker 1: Have you googled one? Yes, I know what it looks like.
- 30:57Speaker 3: Yeah, you know. My friend slip with someone with my
- 31:00Speaker 3: penis and she said, you.
- 31:01Speaker 4: Know what, what what took her out of it was
- 31:03Speaker 4: not the micro penis. It was the fact that he
- 31:05Speaker 4: kept apologizing for it, which is really sad. But she's like,
- 31:08Speaker 4: we could have had so much fun. I wasn't like he
- 31:11Speaker 4: could have went down on me. We could have and
- 31:13Speaker 4: she's like, and he kept being like, I'm so sorry,
- 31:14Speaker 4: I know it's and she's like, and then.
- 31:16Speaker 3: I was out of it.
- 31:18Speaker 2: So if you got a micro penis, just own up
- 31:19Speaker 2: to it.
- 31:20Speaker 3: Just be like, just there's nothing you can do.
- 31:22Speaker 1: Have fun, like I'm about to ravage you with my
- 31:25Speaker 1: micrope the wrath of but just put my giant, tiny microt.
- 31:33Speaker 3: Have you ever seen one?
- 31:35Speaker 2: No?
- 31:36Speaker 3: No, no, that that's actually really.
- 31:39Speaker 2: How many men have micro penises, like one twenty?
- 31:43Speaker 1: How does it happen?
- 31:45Speaker 4: I think they're just born with it extends though you
- 31:48Speaker 4: can grow your penis.
- 31:48Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure there's pills.
- 31:51Speaker 1: I would get a penile implant.
- 31:57Speaker 2: All these women getting bbls.
- 31:59Speaker 1: That's gonna pen You know what, It actually isn't fair.
- 32:02Speaker 2: A pblis Brazilian penis, a BPO.
- 32:07Speaker 3: It actually breaks my heart because think of it.
- 32:09Speaker 4: Even if you do get a penile implant, you cannot
- 32:13Speaker 4: do that for at least I'm sure until you're whatever,
- 32:16Speaker 4: maybe you can. But it's just like you're a kid
- 32:18Speaker 4: and then you get in high school and friends don't
- 32:21Speaker 4: guys show each other their dicks if.
- 32:23Speaker 2: They want to. I guess I don't think I ever
- 32:25Speaker 2: was just like showing my cock off, but if they
- 32:29Speaker 2: were okay.
- 32:33Speaker 3: The locker room that you guys would hit each other
- 32:35Speaker 3: with it and stuff.
- 32:36Speaker 2: If somebody hit me with it, I'm going in for
- 32:38Speaker 2: a soul because no one's touching me.
- 32:39Speaker 3: With their fucking me like a helicopter it around.
- 32:42Speaker 2: Yeah, we would walk through the showers and like my
- 32:45Speaker 2: buddies would just be like.
- 32:48Speaker 4: Yeah, or like you like tea bag each other with
- 32:51Speaker 4: your balls.
- 32:52Speaker 3: That happens.
- 32:55Speaker 2: I don't know what homies you were hanging out with,
- 32:56Speaker 2: but like, what movies are you watching. The only weird
- 32:59Speaker 2: ship that we ever did in like high school was
- 33:02Speaker 2: there was a long haul and it went to the showers,
- 33:05Speaker 2: so we would like get it wet and then put
- 33:08Speaker 2: like don dish shop and slide and then you just
- 33:10Speaker 2: run naked and slide.
- 33:13Speaker 3: See that's the weird shit guys did.
- 33:15Speaker 2: That was fun.
- 33:16Speaker 1: Sounds kind of fun.
- 33:17Speaker 2: It was way fun.
- 33:17Speaker 1: I don't know why you need to be naked.
- 33:20Speaker 3: I don't know either, just flopping everywhere yummy.
- 33:26Speaker 1: My stomach hurts because my face. This has been really fun.
- 33:31Speaker 1: I kind of need a nap from how much I laughed.
- 33:33Speaker 1: I know me too. That was good. I hope you
- 33:35Speaker 1: guys enjoyed it.
- 33:36Speaker 3: Thank you guys for writing and that was so you.
- 33:38Speaker 3: There were so many good ones.
- 33:40Speaker 2: The boner bonus, the true boner bonus.
- 33:43Speaker 3: No one's getting a boner from this episode.
- 33:45Speaker 1: Jessica, I'm so happy you shared it about the Santa Claus.
- 33:49Speaker 2: Come on, I'm never gonna like I'm always gonna look
- 33:54Speaker 2: at you with like goggles on your face.
- 33:55Speaker 1: I'm glad mom.
- 33:56Speaker 4: Left, really, Lisa, I bet Lisa would have said that
- 34:00Speaker 4: was responsible of me, let me wear goggles.
- 34:03Speaker 1: I don't know what Lisa would have said, but what
- 34:05Speaker 1: can I tell you why? I'm glad she left because
- 34:07Speaker 1: in a way, I feel like she might have gotten
- 34:08Speaker 1: too comfortable and wanted to share her second.
- 34:11Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
- 34:12Speaker 1: I can give. I can like try to like envision
- 34:16Speaker 1: you still being some random person, but like my mother,
- 34:18Speaker 1: I just cannot.
- 34:20Speaker 2: You.
- 34:21Speaker 1: Guys, I love you. Thank you for listening to another
- 34:23Speaker 1: bonus episode of the Give Them Lalla podcast. Reminder. Our
- 34:26Speaker 1: regular podcast airs every Wednesday wherever you get your podcast.
- 34:31Speaker 1: The Visuals air on YouTube Fridays at nine am Pacific time,
- 34:36Speaker 1: and the bonus episode video and audio drops every Monday
- 34:40Speaker 1: at nine am Pacific time. I love you, guys, I'll
- 34:42Speaker 1: catch you next week.