Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Do narcissists know the difference between what's right and wrong?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:02Today we're answering the question, Do narcissists know
- 0:05the difference between right and wrong?
- 0:09If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:10I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
- 0:13another episode of the Narcissist Code.
- 0:32Boom. Welcome back, Welcome back.
- 0:33Welcome back. Yes, yes, yes, Y'all.
- 0:35Yes. The difference between right and
- 0:39wrong do narcissists know? So let me go ahead and start
- 0:41this off by saying this is just from my personal experience.
- 0:45Y'all what I've seen, what I've dealt with, encountering
- 0:48thousands of people over the last 3 1/2 years and and also in
- 0:52the entirety of my life dealing with other narcissistic people
- 0:57and from my own personal experience as well.
- 0:59But for me, most narcissists y'all know the difference
- 1:04between right and wrong. They know that they're doing you
- 1:09wrong. They do they.
- 1:10Yeah. I'm just being.
- 1:11I'm just being realistic. Again.
- 1:13I know some people, voice said this video.
- 1:15Some narcissistic people might see this video and like, well,
- 1:17leave your line. You don't.
- 1:18You don't speak for us. Did you not hear the part I said
- 1:20at the beginning that this is my own personal perspective.
- 1:23You make your own your own video spouting your beliefs.
- 1:27That's fine. This is my personal this is my
- 1:29channel. You do you?
- 1:30Yeah. That's where it goes, though.
- 1:32Y'all. So I do truly believe that most
- 1:34narcissists, You sure? I said most.
- 1:36I didn't say all. Most narcissists know the
- 1:38difference between right and wrong.
- 1:39That's why they hide. Y'all.
- 1:41They know that they're doing you wrong.
- 1:43That's why they hide it. Y'all.
- 1:44Why don't they want you telling them, telling people the stuff
- 1:46that they do to you? Why?
- 1:49If they didn't know it was wrong, why do they want to hide
- 1:52it? Only people just want people to
- 1:54be private. They want private privacy in
- 1:56their relationships. Well, Lee, they can hit people,
- 1:59they can cheat, they can lie, They can do all.
- 2:00They just want privacy. Do they know that that that
- 2:04means that they know is wrong? Y'all they know it when they do
- 2:09something good for you or when something goes good for you in
- 2:11this relationship, do you hear them telling you to keep a
- 2:14secret? They'll a lot of times they
- 2:15don't tell you to keep a secret. Some of them might, but a lot of
- 2:18times they want you to shout. Shout the good stuff from the
- 2:22the highest peak, but whisper the bad things because it might
- 2:26make them look bad. You see what I'm saying?
- 2:29That's where it goes. That's how it goes.
- 2:32That's the perspective that a lot of people face.
- 2:34That's the dynamic that a lot of people face.
- 2:37We deal with narcissistic, toxic people.
- 2:40That's how it goes right there. Like I keep telling people that
- 2:43most narcissists know the difference between right and
- 2:46wrong and they use it as a cop out.
- 2:47They try to say, oh, I didn't know they hurt your feelings.
- 2:49Oh, I didn't know I was doing. I didn't know, I didn't know, I
- 2:52didn't know. Y'all, it's a cop out.
- 2:55And the more times that they get away with it, the more times
- 2:58they're going to keep doing the same thing, yo, they don't have
- 3:01it. If they don't have an incentive
- 3:04to change the toxic behaviors, then why would they change the
- 3:08toxic behaviors that they feel like they're benefiting from?
- 3:13If I'm being toxic, if I'm being manipulative, if I'm lying, if
- 3:17I'm cheating, if I'm being abusive in any shape or in any
- 3:20manner and I'm still getting my needs met, why would I change
- 3:24those? Why would I change those
- 3:25behaviors? I know what you as a non
- 3:27narcissistic person will say you like well Lee, because you care
- 3:30about the person you want the best for them.
- 3:32No, that's not how narcissist minds work.
- 3:34No, they want the best for themselves.
- 3:37And if somehow serving me is good for you, then great.
- 3:40But most times with a narcissistic person is entitled
- 3:43in serving themselves in itself, in a selfish as hell.
- 3:46They do that to the detriment of other people around them, not to
- 3:49the benefit to the detriment. Most people around narcissistic
- 3:53people, their closest people, typically suffer.
- 3:56Y'all know this. Y'all y'all understand this
- 3:57space. I've said it before, the people
- 3:59around a narcissist, the closest people, typically get treated
- 4:03the worst. That's how it goes.
- 4:07So yes, they know the difference between right and wrong.
- 4:10They know when they're doing right.
- 4:12They want you to shout it from the rooftops.
- 4:13But when they're doing wrong, they want you to whisper it and
- 4:16just keep. Keep everything between US and
- 4:18let's work on this, let's keep our, let's keep our relationship
- 4:22or things private or whatever. We don't need to tell the world,
- 4:25but I guarantee you, a lot of times, y'all if you do something
- 4:27wrong to them, they shout into the world.
- 4:29They're they're they're spreading it, they're spreading
- 4:31it that, that, that, that. But they're they're spreading
- 4:34what you did to them like peanut butter, like a peanut butter
- 4:38spray, like a peanut butter Jelly sandwich.
- 4:39That's what they that's what they're doing to you.
- 4:42They're spreading it like peanut butter and Jelly.
- 4:45But that's the perspective. God, that's what you that's what
- 4:47so many people face. You know, That's why I tell
- 4:50people, when you're dealing with a toxic, narcissistic person, a
- 4:53lot of times this is going to be what you face.
- 4:57This is going to be what you encounter.
- 5:00Yeah, because most of them know that they're doing you wrong.
- 5:03But like I said most, some of them y'all, some narcissistic
- 5:05people don't know that they're doing you wrong.
- 5:08Some of them just don't have the the, the, the mental fortitude
- 5:12to understand the difference between right and wrong.
- 5:14And should you leave those people alone?
- 5:15Hey, I'll leave it up to you. Because if you if a person
- 5:19doesn't realize that they're doing you wrong and they just
- 5:21keep doing the same things over and over and over and over and
- 5:23over again, are you willing to just accept that behavior,
- 5:26Narcissist or not, if they keep repeating in the same toxic
- 5:29behavior that you told them? Hey, look, you might not have
- 5:32known before, but I've told you now that this, that this hurts
- 5:35me. If you do that and they just
- 5:37keep doing the same thing, it gets to the point where they
- 5:40might not know that they're doing you wrong, but they don't
- 5:42care anymore. They don't care if you take it
- 5:46as them treating you badly because they're still somehow
- 5:49getting their needs met. Needs.
- 5:53I know, y'all hear me repeat that a lot, but it is a lot of
- 5:55times about getting their damn needs met.
- 5:58That's what they want to do. They get their sexual needs,
- 6:01financial needs, mental needs, emotionally, physical needs,
- 6:04whatever their needs met. Validation, you know, the need
- 6:06for validation, the need to feel special.
- 6:09Whatever their needs will be, whatever needs that they have,
- 6:12they want their needs to be met. You know what I mean?
- 6:15That's how it goes. So I was just, that's why I say
- 6:17I would challenge you to understand like if you're
- 6:19dealing with somebody who doesn't, who's keep, who keeps
- 6:22repeating, I already know they hurt you.
- 6:23I didn't know they were. You would feel their way and
- 6:25they did it again and again and again.
- 6:27They don't care. And that's me being straight
- 6:30forward and forward and blunt, I said floored.
- 6:32It's me being straightforward and blunt with it because that's
- 6:36how the mind works right there. As long as my needs are being
- 6:39met, I don't care how you feel. I don't care the, you know, I
- 6:43don't care about the the end result as long as the bit, as
- 6:46long as there's a benefit to these actions, as long as
- 6:48there's a benefit to me behaving this way, as long as there's a
- 6:51benefit for me acting this way, y'all keep hearing me repeat
- 6:55that. As long as there's a benefit,
- 6:57I'm going to keep doing it. Now let's go to the mindset of a
- 7:00narcissistic person. So I will say this right here is
- 7:04again, for most narcissistic people right here from my
- 7:06perspective is that even though they know they're doing you
- 7:10wrong, they might not know why, they might not know why they are
- 7:16doing you wrong, and it yeah, it's crazy I had to keep
- 7:21repeating this, but I feel like I need to.
- 7:23Just because they don't know why they're doing you wrong doesn't
- 7:26excuse the behaviors. I know so many people are
- 7:29forgiving people. You want to make it work.
- 7:30You want to talk to your partner.
- 7:31You want to talk to your person. You want to do this.
- 7:33You want to do that. Y'all want to do that, right?
- 7:36But if they keep repeating the same behaviors over and over
- 7:38again, y'all, they're just not going to stop.
- 7:41Because they don't. Because it gets to the point in
- 7:43the in the narcissistic person's mind, they're like, if you are
- 7:46accepting it, then why would I change it?
- 7:49Why would I change the behavior that you accept?
- 7:54You know, because some of them, yeah, narcissistic people are
- 7:56out to. Most narcissists are out to
- 7:58serve themselves and out to defend themselves in some way,
- 8:01shape, or form. Right.
- 8:02So if I'm out serving myself and you get hurt in the process,
- 8:05maybe I didn't realize that this action would have hurt you.
- 8:08Maybe I didn't realize that this action was wrong.
- 8:11But now that you've corrected me, now I know Now I don't.
- 8:14I don't like when you yell at me or I didn't realize that.
- 8:16I didn't realize that you didn't like being yelling at whatever
- 8:20it is. Y'all.
- 8:20This is a simple example. I know I would say cheating, but
- 8:22you can be yelling. Hey, I don't like when you
- 8:25scream at me. Well, I didn't realize that you
- 8:28didn't like being screamed at. I didn't realize I was hurting
- 8:30you. I didn't realize you that.
- 8:31I didn't realize screaming. I didn't realize me yelling at
- 8:34you and screaming at you triggered you.
- 8:35I thought, this is the only way I could talk, The only way you
- 8:38would understand. So they didn't an example right
- 8:40there. They didn't know that the
- 8:42yelling and the screaming would trigger you.
- 8:44So they keep doing the same thing over and over again.
- 8:46Guess what happens now It's a choice.
- 8:48Now it's a behavior. Now it's it.
- 8:50Now it's meant to be, you know, now this is the way things are
- 8:54going to go. That's why I tell people like be
- 8:57prepared. Be prepared.
- 8:59Because this is going to keep going this way.
- 9:02And I know it sounds mean, but why would it get better?
- 9:05I know why it would get better for you on your side of things
- 9:09as an impact or super compassionate person or a highly
- 9:12sensitive person. Why would it get better for a
- 9:16narcissistic person that is out to serve themselves?
- 9:19That is super selfish, that is extremely entitled.
- 9:22Why would it get better in this position right there?
- 9:25What are you telling yourself as you deal with this person?
- 9:28You know? What are you telling yourself?
- 9:30Like, well, maybe it'll get better.
- 9:32I told them so maybe they can correct their behavior.
- 9:35So now what happens? Now what happens?
- 9:41Now how? How did this go in this space
- 9:42right here, You know, So that's what so many people have to
- 9:45prepare for right there. That's what I'm just telling
- 9:47you. Y'all this is, again, y'all this
- 9:48is not familiar to rag on narcissist or make y'all feel
- 9:51bad about, make you feel bad for yourself or give, you know,
- 9:55forgive them or whatever. This is me just telling you,
- 9:58hey, this is how it's going to be.
- 10:02They know the difference between right and wrong because I'm
- 10:05going to tell you another example, right?
- 10:06This is, this is popped in my head.
- 10:08This is popped up by it. If they didn't, if, like, just
- 10:13ask yourself, OK? If you did the same behavior,
- 10:16would they tolerate it? Whatever behavior that you
- 10:20you're telling them is wrong. If you did the same behavior,
- 10:23would they tolerate it? This is not me in there.
- 10:26Listen right here. I'll pump, pump the brakes.
- 10:27This is not me telling you or asking you to go up to ask your
- 10:31partner. Hey, if I did the same thing,
- 10:32would you tolerate it? Because they're going to have an
- 10:34excuse. I promise they're going to have
- 10:36an excuse for for their behaviors.
- 10:39That's just how it goes. They're going to have, they're
- 10:41going to excuse their behaviors in some way, shape or form.
- 10:44That's just how a narcissistic person's mind works, right?
- 10:48That's how it's going to go. So, but would they excuse you or
- 10:52would they be good to you or be nice to you if you did the same
- 10:55thing to them that they're doing to you repeatedly?
- 10:58You know, it's baby steps in the right direction and they're
- 11:01healing their growth. So you have, this is something
- 11:03you have to ask yourself. You have to reconcile with
- 11:05yourself. This is easy, that they will
- 11:08help, you know, that they will help help you confirm the fact
- 11:12that they knew they do know what they're doing.
- 11:14That they do know what they are doing.
- 11:17Absolutely, absolutely. They do know, you know.
- 11:20So yeah, I'm gonna cut this episode short.
- 11:23Thank Y'all for tuning in. My first video series course is
- 11:26coming out next week. Y'all.
- 11:28It's the seven. It's the seven stages.
- 11:31Understanding the seven stages of a toxic relationship with Lee
- 11:34Hammock from the perspective of a narcissist.
- 11:36Oh, it's going to be fired. Y'all join the newsletter.
- 11:38The link is in the bio. Thank you so much until this is
- 11:41out peace. Thank you so much for making it
- 11:44to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
- 11:46Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
- 11:48If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
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- 12:01out. Thank you.
- 12:02I will see you in the next video.
- 12:03Peace.