Latest / The Voice: Breaking, Believing, Becoming / Fish Out Of Water: How A Pickleball Tournament Taught Me About Belonging

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Fish Out Of Water: How A Pickleball Tournament Taught Me About Belonging · The Voice: Breaking, Believing, Becoming

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Welcome back to The Voice, where
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breaking, believing, and becoming finally have somewhere to be heard.
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I'm Kim Munoz, and I am thrilled that you're here.
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Today, I want to talk about something we've all experienced at one point or
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another, being a complete fish out of water.
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Have you ever walked into a room and immediately thought, I don't know if I belong here?
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Not because anyone was rude or because you weren't welcome.
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Just because everyone else seemed to know the rules, and you didn't even know there were rules.
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We've all had those moments. I remember some of mine. First day at a new job,
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when I walked into my Pilates certification.
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Maybe it's going to a new church you've never attended. Showing up to a networking
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event where everyone somehow already knows each other.
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Dating after divorce, being the only single friend, I know a lot about that,
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learning a new hobby, or starting over.
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Sometimes life has a funny way of reminding us, you're the beginner today.
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And that's exactly how I found myself at a pickleball tournament a couple of weekends ago.
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Now, let me be very clear. I have never played pickleball. Until that afternoon,
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I had never even watched pickleball.
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A friend of a friend was playing in a tournament, in New Orleans,
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and my girlfriends asked if I wanted to come watch.
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Then they added four magical words. There's a bar there.
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Well, say less. Besides, you never know where you might meet your next husband or your next victim.
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Now, I wasn't exactly sure what to wear. My everyday uniform is workout clothes.
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But, one of my girlfriends says, I'm wearing jeans. Perfect.
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I love an excuse to remind myself I still own real clothes. So jeans it was.
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Here's another important detail. I wasn't really going for the pickleball. My plan was simple.
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Find the bar, order a skinny margarita, watch a couple of games,
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laugh with friends, go home. Simple, or so I thought.
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One of my girlfriends and her husband had another agenda. Actually, she had two.
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Mission number one, introduce me to one of her guy friends, the one playing
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in the tournament, because she
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absolutely adores him and desperately wants him to meet someone like me.
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Mission number two, apparently she thought the statistical probability of me
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finding a relationship increased dramatically if she just dropped me into a
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building with a large sum of men.
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The minute we walked in, she introduces us, very nice guy, very intense,
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nothing wrong with him at all, I just immediately realized I'd like to continue wearing heels.
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Wonderful man, wrong chemistry.
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Then I started surveying the room. There were lots of people,
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some very young, some considerably older.
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Everyone looked like they knew exactly what they were doing.
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Meanwhile, I'm standing there wondering why everyone owns matching patterns.
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First impression, it looked like someone had combined short tennis courts with big ping pong.
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Everyone looked incredibly competitive, but they also looked like they were
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having a best time. So I thought, this is fascinating.
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Kind of felt like a cult. Now, I've never actually joined a cult,
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but if I had to imagine, this was probably pretty close.
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Thankfully, there was the bar. I ordered a skinny margarita from a bartender
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who looked like he'd just been awakened from a medically induced nap.
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So I tried to explain to him how to make it. He stared at me,
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nodded once, walked away without saying a word. for several minutes,
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I wasn't convinced I'd ever see him again.
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I thought maybe he'd wandered off to rethink his career.
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But when he finally came back, I got to give him cred that Margarita was absolutely perfection.
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So now, I'm relaxed, watching the games, thinking, this is going to be a nice, uneventful afternoon.
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Little screech chaos the friend we came to watch walks past us on his way to
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the court he reaches into his pocket throws my girlfriend a pickleball keeps walking no explanation,
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no eye contact nothing she catches it and just kind of sits it on the bar because
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we didn't know what to do with it and suddenly a woman whips around so fast
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i thought she might have given herself whiplash.
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Her eyes lock onto that pickleball like we'd just stolen the Hope Diamond.
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My friend kind of holds it up and asks, was he throwing that to you?
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Now, anyone who knows me knows I have absolutely no problem inserting myself
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into situations that have nothing to do with me, especially if they look entertaining.
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So I confidently jump in to my girlfriend, no, he threw that to you.
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Apparently, that was the wrong answer, because now we're getting a lecture.
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You can't take that ball.
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Excuse me? Apparently, every pickleball is counted. Every ball belongs somewhere.
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Someone is responsible for every single one.
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If one goes missing, someone notices.
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I'm sitting there thinking, man, we're drinking margaritas. We're not running
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an international pickleball smuggling operation.
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She continues explaining that
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whoever's running the tournament will notice if the ball count is off.
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The pickleball inventory has to stay accurate.
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I look over at my friends. Every one of us has the exact same expression. What is happening?
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Eventually, she lets my girlfriend keep holding the ball, but she never takes her eyes off of it.
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I mean, she was committed. My English bulldog, Honey Coco, has nothing on this woman.
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I honestly have expected security to walk over and ask us to empty our purses.
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The first game finally ends, and our friend walks over.
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We ask, what was it all about with the ball? He says, oh, that was my personal ball.
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I just didn't want it in my pocket while I played.
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Well, ladies and gentlemen, the mystery has been solved.
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Now comes another surprise. Apparently, spectators have to move around.
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A lot. Nobody warned me about this. I thought I'd found my seat for the afternoon. Nope.
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We're moving to another court, then another, then another.
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I wasn't expecting this much cardio as a spectator. At this point,
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I'm thinking, I absolutely need another margarita.
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While we're standing there, I notice this cute guy about my age wearing a medal
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around his neck, proudly, like he had just won an Olympic medal.
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Anyone who knows me knows sarcasm is one of my love languages.
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So I smile and ask, so, would you win?
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Without missing a beat, he proudly
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answers, pickleball. I look at him and say, I know it's pickleball.
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I'm asking what color medal you got.
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He smiles, bronze. I paused for just a second Then I said, loser?
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Thankfully, he laughed Because if you can't survive a little playful banter
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We probably weren't going to work anyway,
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For a brief moment, then, I thought Okay, he's funny,
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Then, you guessed it We had to move again He disappears over to another table
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With what I can only describe as pickleball addicts anonymous Never to be seen
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again And shocker, he didn't ask for my number,
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This final move, however, places me directly beside the woman from earlier,
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the keeper of the sacred pickleball, the guardian of the yellow sphere,
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the pickleball police, and her friend.
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Now, most people would have quietly minded their own business. Not me.
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Now I was curious. Who are these people? What makes someone become this passionate about pickleball?
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And what do they do in their spare time?
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Meanwhile, I overhear my two girlfriends on the other side of me Who,
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I should point out, have played pickleball a total of one time,
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Are over here discussing what cute outfits they'd wear if they ever joined a
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league They do this every single time they come watch They leave completely
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inspired, talk about outfits, discuss paddles, maybe shoes And then,
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they never play My girlfriend's husband, who's probably the smartest person
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in the room Just quietly sits there Not saying a word I think he knew exactly
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where this conversation was headed.
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But me, on the other hand, within minutes, these ladies beside me start telling me everything.
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They are spilling all the pickleball secrets.
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The tournaments, the leagues, the rankings, the travel, the friendships,
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the strategy, the paddles, the shoes. Apparently, there are pickleball shoes. Who knew?
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They begin explaining why I have to start playing.
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Then one of them casually mentions she postponed getting her hair colored because
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she didn't want to miss a tournament.
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Now, that's commitment, and that's when it hit me. This wasn't just a hobby. This was a lifestyle.
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There are apparently pickleball celebrities, professional tournaments,
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rankings, fans, entire communities built around this game.
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I had accidentally wandered into someone else's world.
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I suddenly felt like I'd shown up at a family reunion where everyone knew each other, except me.
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But then something shifted. I stopped seeing them as those pickleball people.
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Instead, I started admiring them, because they had found something they genuinely loved.
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They had found their people, their community, their Saturday afternoon,
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and most importantly, their joy.
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And honestly, there's something really beautiful about that.
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The next morning, though, our group text lights up, and my friend sends a picture,
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and guess what's sitting in the bottom of her purse?
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The pickleball.
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My gosh, she accidentally went home with it. We all just stared at our phones
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for a second. Then someone finally texted, well, I guess we're officially pickleball criminals.
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Immediately, my mind goes back to the woman guarding the ball like it contained
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classified government secrets.
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Somewhere, I just know she's standing over a bucket doing inventory.
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Told you they were going to take one.
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I'm convinced the pickleball police opened an investigation before breakfast.
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There's probably an APB circulating.
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Be on the lookout for three women, one innocent husband, and one rogue pickleball.
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Last seen drinking skinny margaritas while attempting to flee the premises.
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For the record, though, the ball will be safely returned to its rightful owner,
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and no arrests will be necessary.
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Although, I still don't think we're completely off the watch list.
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But here's what stayed with me long after the pickleball was safely returned.
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It wasn't the margaritas. Or the bronze medal guy. It wasn't even the pickleball police.
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It was something I hadn't thought about in years. When I was leading teams in
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healthcare, I had every one of my leaders read a book called Fish.
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It's based on the famous Pike Place fish market in Seattle.
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On the surface, it's about people selling fish. It isn't really about fish at all.
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It's about choosing your attitude.
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And those men could have simply stood behind a counter and sold fish.
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Instead, they created an experience.
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People now travel from all over the world just to watch them work,
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not because fish are fascinating, but because joy is.
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One of the lessons from that book that has really stayed with me for years is
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that you need to choose your attitude.
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Not because every day is easy, but because your attitude has a way of changing
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someone else's experience.
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And it became such an important lesson to me that I really started teaching it early on with my kids.
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I would always point out to them, if we were in a restaurant or a grocery store
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or a hotel or anywhere someone was serving us, if the person smiled and they
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were kind and they genuinely seemed happy to help, I always pointed out to them,
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that person really loves their job.
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And that's the kind of person you need to be when you're working.
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My boys, over time, they'd look up at me when we'd be in those situations,
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and they'd say, Mom, that person loves what they do.
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At first, I just thought it was adorable. But then I realized they were learning
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exactly what I'd hoped they would.
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I wasn't teaching them to judge people, I was giving them a gauge,
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a way to recognize what it looks like when someone chooses to bring their best
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to the people standing in front of them.
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Because here's what I wanted them to understand. You don't know what's happening
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behind the scenes of someone else's life.
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The waitress may have cried before she came to work. The nurse caring for you
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may have spent the night worried about someone she loves.
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The cashier may be carrying burdens you'll never see.
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The bartender making your skinny margarita? Well, he may just still be trying to wake up.
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But for those few minutes your paths cross, you have a choice.
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You can make someone feel like another transaction, or you can make them feel like they matter.
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That was always the lesson. Don't just give people something.
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Give them someone. Someone who listens. Someone who smiles.
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Someone who makes another human being feel seen. And someone who leaves people
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better than they found them.
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Wherever life takes you, whether you're a teacher, a nurse, a business owner,
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a parent, a bartender, or yes, even a pickleball player, Carry yourself in a
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way that makes people walk away thinking, that person really loves what they do.
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Because joy leaves clues, and so does kindness.
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People feel it long before you ever
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tell them. Standing in that pickleball tournament, I realized something.
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Those people weren't just playing a game. They had found something they genuinely loved.
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To me, it looked like oversized ping pong. To them, it was friendship,
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community, competition. purpose, belonging.
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Honestly, the world could use more people who light up like that.
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Whether it's pickleball, gardening, writing, Pilates, painting,
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cooking, serving coffee, or raising children, find something that makes you come alive.
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Find people who make you laugh.
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Find somewhere you belong. Because every one of us is looking for that.
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And maybe that's the real lesson about being a fish out of water.
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Every meaningful chapter of our lives begins that way.
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Whether it's the first day at a new job, my first day as a nurse,
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first time I became a mom.
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First time I walked into a courtroom during my divorce.
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My first day of owning a business.
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Heck, the first podcast I recorded. Every season that changed my life started
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with me wondering, does everyone else know something I don't?
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Here's what I've learned. Feeling uncomfortable doesn't mean you're in the wrong
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place. Most of the time it means you're growing.
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Nobody starts as an insider. Nobody walks into something new already speaking the language.
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The people who look completely comfortable today were once standing exactly
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where you are, wondering if they'd ever fit in.
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So if you're in a season where you feel out of place, keep showing up,
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ask the questions, laugh at yourself, and stay curious.
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Because sometimes the places where we feel most out of water,
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become the very places where we discover who we're becoming.
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And who knows, maybe one day, I'll even try pickleball.
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Although, I can promise you two things. I will never skip a hair appointment
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for it. I'm absolutely bringing my own pickleballs.
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Before we go, if today feels unfamiliar for you, don't assume you're in the wrong place.
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Maybe you're simply standing at the beginning of something you've never experienced before.
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The best chapters of our lives rarely begin with confidence.
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They usually begin with curiosity, a little courage, and the willingness to
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look a little ridiculous while we're learning.
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And wherever this next season takes you, choose your attitude,
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choose kindness, and choose to leave people better than you found them.
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Don't just give people something, give them someone.
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Someone who listens, who encourages, who makes another human being feel seen.
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Because long after people forget what you did, they'll remember how you made them feel.
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Until next time, if you're breaking, keep believing.
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And keep becoming, because becoming rarely happens where life is comfortable.
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It happens when we have the courage to step into waters we've never been in before.