Latest / F*ck Off Fridays / Police Officer & Cowgirl walk into a bar

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Police Officer & Cowgirl walk into a bar · F*ck Off Fridays

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Fuck Off Fridays with your girl Liv and your girl Charlie.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: This week, coming up, we have your drunk stories.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: We've got Haunted House, the dating edition.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: Got some polls and questions.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I've got a spooky Snog Mario Void because it's Halloween.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh!
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, we don't normally dress like this.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: So grab yourself a beverage, sit down, and off we go.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: What is your fuck off of the week?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: We're going fuck off of the week again first.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, firstly, before I j dive into my fuck off of the week, because we are an audio medium as well.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: Go for it.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: Live reference what we're wearing.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's Halloween.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Tomorrow when this comes out, it's Halloween week.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: We have a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader in the house.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Woo woo.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: I mean Thunder.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: You could have put shorts on.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: She didn't.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: No, they're so small.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: But with me, it's giving police officer, but should be inside a double glazed window.
• 1:09
  unknown: Really?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we should have red lights behind me, actually.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: What I enjoy is the hat says extremely seductive.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm fucking not.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: I hate people.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like Halloween girls either go.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: I think you go one of three ways.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Every always thinks it's two, three way a week.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: I think you either go scary and you fully commit and you do the face makeup and all that, like Katie Heron on one thing.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: Or you go as a mouse, duh, you go cute.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Or you go extremely seductive over there.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Which is what I do.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: I do every year.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, I didn't last year, but Christina Aguilera.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah fucking hard.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: But what was my fuck off of the week?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I will tell you, I saw on Instagram the other day, I got real beef with I'm tall about this, right?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: So obviously we live in the Cotswolds area about saying natural beauty, it's great.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: I struggle sometimes with what we call the DFLers down from London.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: Ah God.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: And this is gonna I know where this is going.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: This is gonna split the split the listeners.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um somebody posted the other day, they were at Jeremy Clarkson's farm shop, which is guess where?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: On a farm.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: And he complained that there was mud whilst he was wearing his white trainers.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: And it instantly, I was like, oh, it instantly rage baited me.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, is that the point of it though?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Did he want is it clickbait to get people commenting and being like, You're a fucking idiot, you're in the countryside.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: Totally.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: And if so, it worked, then I was like, Have I fallen into his trap?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, I obviously that enraged me.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: Then someone else appears, they've gone to a pumpkin patch, which by the way, what the fuck is the point of those?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: He's so American.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, but your pumpkin's not growing, you're just walking around going, let's take that pumpkin home, and all it is is a pumpkin that some farmer has put there to exploit you for your money because you want to look cute on Instagram.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: Also, go steady because I hear there's some pumpkin thefts going on now.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there's pumpkin thefts happening in my village.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: It was in the chat.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: Where were we?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: Was that on Friday?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: We were at the races on Friday, and um, yeah, I was getting messages in my in my group chat for the street, being like, someone's not my pumpkins.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: And then you've got other people being like, I've not picked it up on my ring doorbell camera.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: Oh fuck off.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, this girl is obviously then put oh, there's mud at the pumpkin patch.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, sorry, you fucking for real.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like, are people well?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Put a pair of wellies on if you're in the countryside, it just pisses me.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Nah, fuck it.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Tell you what, let's get rid of all the mud, all the grass, let's put astro turf down or fucking marble.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just do it.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, really expensive, but worth it.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, it just it really got me, but I think that was the point of it.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: So there's my fuck off of the week.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: First first of all, problems, isn't it?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: Mud.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: Basically, I'm annoyed about mud this week.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: Over to you.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I got two fuck-offs.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: One, fuck, if I have one more fucking power cut, I'm gonna lose my fucking shit.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking Storm Cuntsville, whatever the one is next.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: What is the current storm?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's Austin.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Is that his name?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then then we had Bolo or whatever it was.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm fucking sick of it.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: And even tonight, as you know, I had a power cut, so here we are.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking, I don't even know if the power's on at my house right now.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: The national grid needs to sort it out.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: You paid enough for your electricity that I feel like just get it together.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_03: Get it together.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: And also I live in buttfuck nowhere.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: So if I've got no power, I've got no signal, nothing.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's it.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have to go and stand by my back door to even get one bar.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Most of the time it's on SOS.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my second fuck off of the week is I have realized after last week how I just cannot fucking socialise with like three, four nights on the bounce anymore.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: No, it was heavy last week to be fair.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: It was dense, okay?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And to the point where I had the most terrific hibernation weekend, like terrific.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: I barely saw a soul, and it was great.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: And even when people were like, Can I call you or can I text you?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, no, I'm not answering it.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Leave me alone.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not doing it.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not doing it.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Even your boyfriend said to me, He was like, Happy hibernation, Liv, when I saw it on Friday, and I was like, see you in the spring.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's like literally, I just I want to go out when I want to go out.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Other than that, I'm I'm in.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: No, I sat on Saturday afternoon by myself at home.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh I had a bath and um I sat in a in a TikTok haul for quite some time, which led me on to um.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I did 17 notifications.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: That makes that tracks.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: I so my algorithms algorithming.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: I had a basically cowboy page come out, but not in a smutty way.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's like not in a smutty way.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: I get naked.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: My lady.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: It was um like proper bronch riders and guys that ride like the bucking horses and the bulls, bronch riders, bronk riders, no bonk riders.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: Get it together.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, but like super impressive stuff, like they were doing all like all the raining, like barrel racing, yeah.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Unreal.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Ten out of ten.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: So I hear you.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: I was also absolutely whacked after last week.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: It was a lot, it was a lot, yeah.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: I just well, it's kind of like the it's not a fuck off.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I can I can socialise, and there's times where I literally want to tear a hole through it or like rip the ass out of it, okay?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I did that for such a long period of time, but now I'm in my slowing down things, so just wait because the tables will turn, or I'll flip them my fucking self, but I'll skyrocket, I reckon, in the next month.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: Barbados, I'll literally kick the fucking kick the fuck off like six weeks, whatever it is, and I can't wait.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: Get me a Bahama mama on a beach.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: Fucking owl.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: But that's a nice segue to the what are you loving this week?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because mine is we had quite a nice sociable week.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: Whilst it was Manic, we had after we finished recording here last week, we went to the Morari Christmas Showcase.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, which, for anybody who doesn't know, Morari are at the bottom floor of Club Otcho in Cheltenham, who are private members' club.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: We had a really lovely time with Morari on Tuesday, and then we then got invited to the races on Friday with Club Otcho, which was really great.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I think everyone we spoke to who were all members were genuinely the loveliest people.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's the only it's the only members' club now that I'd properly become a member of because they're not twats.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: I liked it when you compare it to Soho Farmhouse, just gonna throw it out there, which posh buttons.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's a really good way to describe it, yeah.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: Overpriced Posh Butlins, I will say.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the irony is they did Estelle Manor because it Estelle Manor was supposed to be less pretentious, it's actually worse.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: I've not been there, but I've seen like that.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, to be fair, it looks great, the end of summer party looks unreal, but like so over the top.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: But I just think the irony that Soho Farmhouse was created to bring creatives together and for people to socialise and interact and network.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, people go and they just sit on their phones and don't speak to each other, or they just take photos of themselves.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: Which I did used to go there a fair bit to work, to be fair.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um but by comparison, obviously Club Ultra is different and it's a lot smaller.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: But as members' clubs go, people were there, they wanted to engage with you, have a conversation with you, and we met some super interesting people.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: Some of which hopefully will be joining us on the couch soon.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, I just thought we had a really nice day, and all thanks to um the lovely team at Burford Creative.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: So shout out for anyone doesn't know them, they are a PR marketing agency based in Burford, and they are a lovely, lovely team.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: And a massive thank you to Emily and Tilly for dressing us again.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, Latham and Taylor.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so for everyone that was like you guys at bang in, we did all thanks to Latham and Taylor.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: So Enchanted.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: And Lisa, I will not forget lovely Lisa von Howell who gave me my lovely little pheasant headpiece.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you look glorious.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: Queens.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, that's what I'm loving this week.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_02: What are you loving this week?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's not really a this week.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: It was a couple of weeks ago.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I've well I've got two.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Uh forgot to mention it last week.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: I had a really, really shit day a couple of weeks ago, like really shit.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it got to like 10 o'clock at night, and I was like, fucking hell.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was like in the fucking trenches.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: In the fucking trenches.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, um, there's one person besides you, or like Luz, that I would speak to about that that's known me long enough.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I called her, my girl Ellen.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: She got in the car and drove two hours just to come and literally sleep in bed with me that night, because she knew I was feeling really shit.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: And she got up at five to go to work the next day.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh I know.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: What a queen! I know, straight all the way up from Taunton.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: I know, what a woman.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone needs a friend like Ellen.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: What?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: And she texts me the other day and she's like, Do you need me?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: I can just come during the week.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, do you need me to come on the ounce?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, I want her to come, yeah, because I love her, but yeah, top tier.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: What what a gal.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: And my second loving is there is a really lovely girl I follow on the TikTok, as the old people say.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um the TikTok.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: The TikTok.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she's called by Eloise Living, and I am gonna show you her stuff because she honestly does the most tremendous things, like makes the most tremendous things.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Please hold.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I messaged her to say, I'm gonna talk about you.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that's okay.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: But she makes like hand makes these cosmetic bags, wash bags, whatever you can think of, and she writes like hand stitches, your initials and everything on the show.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that! So beautiful.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um Christmas is coming.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: Hi.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: She's got 8,000 followers, and she I know she's doing a lot, and she makes a lot on weekends and things, but I did say I'd give her a shout-out.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: She's done stockings and things of late.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_02: Cute! The holidays are coming.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and she honestly makes yeah, I will.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: She makes really incredible stuff.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I said I'd give her a shout-out because they are the great presents.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: Love that.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, personalized.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: We love a female founded business, represent.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm out for it.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: Love that.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know if I'm Adam, I just messaged her out of the blue, but I think her stuff's great.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I like that.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: I will be purchasing.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: I like do you know who else we should be purchasing from?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: Just for the lols.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: The one.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um Gymshark have jumped on the back of this SNL thing.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: Because you know, obviously that that guy Shane Gillis said about women and dressing like whores um and wearing teeny shorts.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: Exhibit!
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: And they're wearing teeny tiny shorts that go up their bums.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: So if you go on the Gymshark website and you search in the search bar Shane Gillis.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: Shane, just search, just search Shane, yeah, all of their shorts come up.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: Heroes.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: Who's in the marketing department?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: Give them a raise immediately.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fair fuck.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: I thought that was genius.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: Love that.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Good for me.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine if that man had to be handcuffed to me for the day.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: He'd fucking hate women for sure by the end of it.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean his eyes would be open and I feel like he'd learn a lot.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so if he's receptive.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um I got a question for you too.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, go ahead.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Before we move on to whatever you have next.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: What would be an immediate deal breaker, like immediate, dating someone new?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: You don't like dogs.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: Would it?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, 100%.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_04: I was gonna say red hair, but sorry.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_04: That's why I laughed immediately.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Anyone's listening right now, Rich has a particular type, and he doesn't date outside of that type.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: We cannot include this.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_04: We have to cut brown hair.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: No, we're keeping it.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: He's a fucking moron, and he's a child.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: A borrower.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_04: A borrower, a gerbil.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_04: Bigger than James Blunt.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just putting it out there.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: We love James Blunt.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: I love James.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: I can tell him you said that.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_04: Please do, and tell him I had sex to his first album.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_04: I have yet to do it to the sex.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: Stop! Back to Bedland.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, did you not know that?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: Bye, my lover.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: The whole thing.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: Since we're oversharing, I can't listen to McFly.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's all about you ever again.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because who sang it to you?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, someone no one sang it to me.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: That was sex.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: Someone put it on while doing something.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I can't listen to it.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: And after that, he used to like put it on in the pub sometimes and stuff like that.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I just used to watch me cringe.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I don't enjoy that at all.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: I sang that at my friend's wedding.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god! No, yeah, we've got very different connotations of that song.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: I'd like to go back to James Blunt, though.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um really weird vibe to bang someone to.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I think he'd like it.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: When I see him in the pub again, I'll tell him.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_04: It wasn't my choice, it was her album.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: My mum used to have that in the car.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_04: Did he has he had albums since then?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: He's just released his new one.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but is that his second album?
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_04: Or am I missing?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I don't know.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'll have to ask him.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: What's 1973 from?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: Is that a different album?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_04: That could have been its own album.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: You're supposed to be researching this.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: I can't.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: What is your job?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: What is James Blunt?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: Let's play a game.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: What's James Blunt's most streamed song on Spotify?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, goodbye, my lover.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_04: It's gotta be.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: I reckon it's gonna be.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: No, it is.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's the make it made in the big time.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it did.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: Ah Marlon.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um great man.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get him on the couch.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: James, if you're listening, we want you on the couch.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: We have digressed massively.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Where were we?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: We need some Ritalin.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know that we do.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: Immediate seal breaker.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_04: Sorry.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's where we were.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: God, wow.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, not liking dogs.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: If you don't like dogs, you're dead to me.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: Goodbye.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_04: Not kind to staff anywhere.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, yeah.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_04: It doesn't matter if they're it's waiter or behind the counter serving you at the shop, they should be kind to everyone.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_02: Polite.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: What about you?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um I reckon I've got a couple.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: One would be someone having just met me, like ordering for me, which you know that's like, yeah, bold.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you just met someone first date, someone like going out of their way to order for you.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_04: Um you would have a pint anyway.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: Depends on what mood she's in.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: A pint of wine, a package.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: A pint of wine.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think we spoke about this.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: This is pre pre-U, Rich.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: This is a the dawn before time.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: We we um seems like forever ago.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: Throwback to Liv's living room for all the people that have followed us along the way.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: Back to the brothel days.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um Lamb Before Time.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: We're what a program.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: It was a film, wasn't it?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: Lamb before Time.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's a film.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: They're redoing it.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: What was he called?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: Spoiler alert.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: A little teeny tiny dinosaur.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: What was he called?
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: Google that for me, please.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna hang on.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_04: I've just googled uh his eight albums.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_04: This is his eighth album.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_04: Sorry, James Dunn's got eight albums.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_04: Sorry, James.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_04: I apologise profusely.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: God, you're gonna have to buy him a pint.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_04: Once upon a mind.
• 16:21
  unknown: What's that?
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of it.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_04: That sounds like.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: When was that released?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_04: 2019.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: Go on, James.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_04: The after love.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you need to have a chat with him.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna listen, I'm gonna listen to him on the way home, you know.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: What was the dinosaur called in Land Before Time?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: Dinosaur.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: But when we used to record it yours, we s we spoke about this, and one of the things we spoke about was that even you would be wary about ordering for me, because it depends on what mood I'm in as to what I fancy at the pub.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_02: Which is valid.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: 100%.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_04: Littlefoot.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Littlefoot.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, yes, yes, yes.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, if I was ordering for Luce, she she can go one or two ways, right?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: So she's either having an Estrella with lime.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, queen.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: Or a DC.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, she loves a DC.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Very occasionally she'll have a wine, but she has to be in the mood.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: Chris.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if I had to order for you, you might have a fruity cider.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: You might have a Coke.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: I might have a soda.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: You're never gonna have a wine.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: No, never.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_04: What would I order?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_04: And what would you order for me?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_02: Half a pint.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: A sahi or something?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_04: Half a pint.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: You bitch.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm here to shade you, but neither.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: A shot glass of beer.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: So it fits in your hand.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um what's your second one?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: I reckon in a sahi or something.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think when we've all had beers before, I'm trying to do it.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, to be fair, I think you like the Dunkerton's lager, I think.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but also, I don't know.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_04: I just yeah, whatever everyone else is drinking easily.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_02: You give me echoes.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: He's not fussy, to be fair.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: I was trying to cast my mind back to yeah.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: He looks like a rose kind of man.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: What are you two mustering on about?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: I said he looks like a rose kind of man.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: What's your second one?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: What's your second deal breaker?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: So anyone ordering for you.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: Someone not actively listening and not engaging with a conversation or not like asking questions, like showing interest.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: Being present at the moment.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because also I'm super observant, as we know, my level of discernment is strong.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: I can tell if someone's glazed over and not fully engaged talking.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: Or if they're just signing.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're doing it right now.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: Which?
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: Where is your broomstick?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: I would like to discuss because he has now finished his mission.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: You flagged this to me ages ago, this guy Ash Dyke's doing the Congo Baby.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: Which is mental.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know about this, Rich?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: Liv over to you, because you're the one who found him.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I went down a rabbit hole.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was like a Sunday night rabbit hole on TikTok.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a guy that does all these mega, mega dangerous expeditions.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I think this is his sixth.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: Something mental.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um and he goes anywhere and everywhere, like deserts, Somalia, god knows where.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: What parts of the world you wouldn't want to go to?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: He's going there.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: Madagascar, all sorts.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: But this time he got dropped into the Congo Basin, which is one of the most dangerous waterways on this planet.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: And unpopulated as well.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like basically nobody lives there.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like local tribe, he came across local tribe people, that's about it.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it was him, I think two others in a crew, but they're an inflated, they had to do 70 kilometers and they were like in inflatable kayaks.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: Bear in mind, like you think about the crocodiles, even gorillas, monkeys, hippo, hippos, everything.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: It was the first the first sign everyone went mental on the internet was because some of his bags got kept at Charles de Gaulle.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: And one of them was one with an inflatable kayak in.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone's like, at this point, this is the universe going, don't fucking go.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Stop! Don't fucking go.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: And he's got this beautiful fiance at home, which God knows how she deals with the anxiety.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Patient's insane.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because fucking hell.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: And she's top tier, by the way.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: I've started following her as well for the back of this.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: I love the depths that you've gone into.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, God, I'm mad for it.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm chronically online if anyone doesn't know.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_04: Um never heard anyone say chronically before.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so anyway, there was like maybe 16 hours where they went quiet.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: Did I send you that?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: Within the last week.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um people think it's a media stunt though.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, all his I think it at that point he was down to like a solar phone and the kits had not worked.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it then within like half an hour there was another update to say we've heard from him, he's fine.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then I saw the last video of him like crossing the finish line.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then I saw a video today of him getting back to his girlfriend.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, so nice.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: But fucking hell.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you've got to be some kind of adrenaline junkie to do that, and also back yourself because there were so many people also saying, I think a guy had tried to do this a couple of years ago and got eaten by a crook.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: He got eaten by something in the water.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: But to be fair, following it, like I sent it to you and you were like, holy shit.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew it would give you anxiety.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: Massively, yeah.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: But fair fucks to the guy.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: He's quite young as well.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: I think he's our age.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he what I find mad as well is it's not just the actual, so they're pretty much the whole way, they have everything with them, so there's no like outside support unless they go to a village and they're like, Yeah, we'll feed you.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: But the reality is like they are on their own.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: But even at night time, when they're trying to sleep, they're sleeping on the river banks.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: So you've got hippos around.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: All of like the bush, the jungle, everything comes alive at night time.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: So you're then trying to sleep on a riverbank while it's like gorillas around.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: There's but even not even just that, you've got all the creepy crawlies too.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: So you've got all these, you know, all the biders that are gonna try and kill you.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: He could have had malaria, anything like that.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: He had to have all this medication, everything.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: And he did I think he did the Amazon as well, didn't he?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: I've not dealt with it.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: I will send it to you because I think you'll find him interesting.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_04: I'm fascinated because even the tribes could kill you.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: I did come across one tribe, I think, from what I saw.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: That were really hospitable, but there's a lot of tribes.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: They've never seen anybody outside of their tribe before.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: So imagine seeing like a white man, you'd be like, fuck.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: Mental.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: Imagine seeing you.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: Who is this small thing?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_04: The inflatable would be more good.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_04: I swim in chinos.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: Would you like your spooky snog marry voids for this week?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: Are you ready?
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm strapped.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so our men.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm cuffed in.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: Our men this week.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: We have Edward Cullen.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's off of Twilight.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so not Robert Pattinson.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, specifically Edward Cullen.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's the skin of a killer, Bella.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: Your skin's like diamonds.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, Jacob off of Twilight.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: And then um, I didn't write down a third, so let's go with Michael Sheen in Twilight.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: Who is it he plays, ahead of the Volturi?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: I need Reeves who really, really needs to re-watch Twilight.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds right.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: I did not care what you did, Carlisle.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: Whoever Michael Sheen plays, because represent he's a fucking I love that man.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: I still have the biggest crush on that man.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: I can't tell you something about him.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: Have you seen uh you might not have done, but Richard don't know if you're a rugby man or not, but for the Six Nations, Michael Sheen did a voiceover like to G up the Welsh team, you know, when they do like all the music and they have to clips anyway.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: Michael Sheen did like a voiceover, he's done it for the last few seasons, I think.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: And it is so dramatic and so fucking excellent.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: I love him.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: He's the boy, and you know he's from Port Talbot.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: I know he is.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: Have you watched Staged with him and David Tennant?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck me, you'd love that.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's on BBC iPlayer, I think.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's called Staged, and they did it during COVID.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's really fucking funny.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: But it's them basically doing video calls for each other.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: You know, loads of good people, like good actors, have come out of like Port Talbot.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, not this shit again.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: Great people are from Wales, let me tell you.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of talent in South Wales.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, anyway, so that Only Churchill get him in his Charlotte.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: Right, so just a reminder: you've got Edward Cullen, Jacob off of Twilight, and Michael Sheen when he's in Twilight specifically.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: Snog Marry Avoid.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, who you snogging, who you marry and who you're avoiding.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: Snog Edward Cullen, Marry.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's RO he plays.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: You're marrying Michael Sheen.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: Give it to me.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: He's a raging socialist, but we'll ignore that.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um and ignore, avoid, Jacob sacrifice.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: Fair.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: Rich, what are you saying?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: Is this going over your head?
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: Are you engaged to the twilight?
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_04: I've watched all the twilight.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, but thank you, Amy.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_04: Um snogging Jacob.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_04: Marrying Ed.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_04: Oh.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_04: Jesus said, doesn't it?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_04: And um sorry.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_04: Full names, please.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_04: Government names.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_04: He's Ed if I'm marrying him.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um he's also gonna eat you if you marry him.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_04: No, I'm just thinking of the strength.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_04: I never have to lift anything.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_04: I can just be for show.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um you think you can outrun me?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Do not care what you did parallel.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: You would be a spider monkey.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: After our Prince of Egypt we uh night last week.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: Let's do Twilight next.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right, come on.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: And you're avoiding Michael Sheen.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, uh, poor Michael Sheen.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's too easy.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean too uh It's not easy.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_04: Well, Wales is close.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_04: The other two are all right.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: Mine's different.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_02: I think I would uh smog Edward Cullen, I'd marry Jacob.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not sorry.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: And Kaylautner is rank.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: Alright.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd avoid Michael Sheen, but I do love him, I think he's great.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_04: But does he need to go out with a Taylor?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_04: They're both Taylors.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: He was going out with Taylor Swift, I think, at one point.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_04: Is that the Taylor?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that I'm thinking about it.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: I was gonna obviously not anymore.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: Whilst we're on Taylor Lautner, that is his name, isn't it?
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_02: Lautner.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_02: Lautner Lautner.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, I was gonna save this for another time.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: So everyone, um the girls at work have been going mad for re-watching Twilight.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: And Jess grabbed me the other day and she was like, I've got a really specific ick for you.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Okay, give it to me.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: And she had to find on Netflix on her phone the specific moment where Jacob runs uphill, he's shirtless, he's got cargo shorts on, and you can see the top of his boxes.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, that's all it is.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: She said it's just this little clip of him running.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: So the fact I could see his boxes, she was like, Immediate ick.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I see that.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_04: Has she not seen a man do anything?
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_04: Like bending over like boxes come out.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_04: That's the thing.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: It was an ick, but it was specifically Jacob in that moment, ick.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe because he was shirtless, maybe it's like a thing.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, so there's your men, and for your women, we've got a Samara off of the ring, horrible, Harley Quinn, and Hermione Granger.
• 26:38
  unknown: God, that's odd.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_04: Hey.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, you're gonna snog.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: No, snog Hermione, marry Harley Quinn, and avoid what's a face.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: Samara.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever watched The Ring?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: Have you seen The Grudge as well?
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: Have you watched Blair Witch Project?
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: All the old ones.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: I we watched them all at school.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if it's a black boarding school thing, but we used to sit and watch them all, and like none of us could sleep.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_02: We had to like sleep in sleeping bags for weeks because we were so worried about old Samara slash the Grudge Girl coming up or Dubai.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: Whew!
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: What are you saying?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_04: Same as you.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly the same.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_04: It's your fault.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_04: You went for What did you say?
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: Snorka Miney Granger.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'd like to.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_04: I'd be tempted to marry her actually.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: No, Margot Robbie is way fitter.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: As if you're only gonna snog Margot Robbie, you can snog over life.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah, that's a good point.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, come on, get it together.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: Take a second.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: Ping.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: Here and Snog Mario Void.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: Over to you in studio.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: And now we've got the weather.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um right, I've got some junk stories.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't actually read these myself.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh great, okay.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: We get it fresh.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: So we have.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: I fell out of a two-story bedroom window.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: Luckily landed on a kitchen roof.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: We have a friend of mine that has put never as in she'll never tell.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: We have the worst one is with Poppy.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm assuming this is the Poppy we know.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I knew she was going to be my best friend.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: So God knows what that means, but I will ask Poppy.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then we have a few here from someone else we know.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_02: Can we start with the I fell out of a two s two-story window?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: We can start with that.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's absolutely.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: Drank too much tequila and took the wrong man home.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so hit for that.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_02: Respect.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: Stole a tuk-tuk on the on the Go San Road.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously in Thailand.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I've never been.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: Had a friend's hair dreadlocked while she passed out.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_04: Doesn't it?
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_04: I thought that's a that's dirty washing, isn't it?
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: I thought dreadlocking was like a whole process.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: So you don't wash your hair for you.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: Look, I can't I just go, well, what I've got written down, kids.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: I woke up next to my own vomit and blamed it on him.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: I slept with my ex and gave him chlamydia, and the next morning I was so hungover that I started giving him a blowy and almost vomited all over him, left him hanging and refused to finish him off.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: Stay classy.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: I've heard that one before.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: I was trying to think of like bad ones that I've had.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: But I can't, like I genuinely can't.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't send them in anonymously.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: I I can't think.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: You'd know if I've got some bad ones.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I've been witness to them, so I think we're right.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um if anyone's got any more those, send them in on the anonymous form.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'd love for people to elaborate and give context and things around it.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, I enjoy that a lot.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: Give us the dirt, we want more.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: Give us the tea.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, can I just also um ask you guys quickly, if you have one, a guilty pleasure.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because one of my friends texted me the other day and she was like, her biggest guilty pleasure is parking in a parent and child bay.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_02: That will rage mate so many people and I love it.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean not anything like that.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_04: I let Charlie go first, ladies first.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, that's really hard.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck all I feel guilty about.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, good, well done, fine.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: New series of Kardashians, top tier.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_02: Do I feel guilty about it?
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely fucking not.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: Who's the greatest businesswoman of our time?
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe Chris Jenner.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: What a woman.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so moving on from that, then if you haven't got anything, the Hill I Will Die On is back.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: What have people sent in?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I have one that's been sent in, but one of them is mine as well.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: So just because we've been friends for years doesn't mean we're still compatible.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Hard agree.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: I agree, yeah, firm agree.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: People grow.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: People grow, people change, yeah, evolve, people evolve for.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: People are here for seasons sometimes.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and mine, because everyone's like, oh, everyone's so nonchalant.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: Let's bring back chalants.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: I and genuinely, I said this, I can't remember how I said it to the other day.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: It might have been B on Friday, uh, matchmaking B.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I just said nonchalant is just emotionally unavailable with good PR.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: Mmm.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_02: I need a second to process that.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: So you're an emotion it's an emotionally unavailable person, but with good PR.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: So they come across really well.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I I do agree that.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: I do agree with that.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: Firmly agree.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_01: Any hills that you would die on?
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, I have one.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: Go on.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: Go on.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_04: If someone if you let someone in in traffic, yeah.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_04: Or out, they should wave.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_04: Or give you a little flicker on the indicators.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_04: Something to acknowledge that you've let them in.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_04: They cannot ignore you.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_04: There has to be something.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_04: Even a nod.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_04: I'll take a nod.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_02: A little hand wave.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_04: I get excited.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: Press the hazards.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_04: Thumbs up.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_04: Hazards.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_04: I do like a press of the hazards, yeah.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I do that over indicating, because otherwise it's confusing where you're going.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: Your hazards is like a wow, thank you.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, what's it?
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_04: I think most people are good around the cottsworlds, but you head to London.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_04: It's getting worse.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, thank you.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_02: Well you wouldn't catch me driving in London.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_02: No, thank you.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_04: I did think about you earlier, I didn't.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_04: I thought that Charlie'd never do this.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_02: Get me in, get me out.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_02: I've just thought of another hill.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_02: Go on.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me about your Bryn.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: Because Bryn means hill in Welsh.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's I don't mind kids in pubs, that's not the issue.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: I there was a time obviously where children were not allowed in pubs at all.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: Seen and not heard.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_01: But children sat at a bar.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: Your kids should not be sat at a bar.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, I agree.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: Who's doing that?
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: I see it a lot.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what?
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: The children should not be sat at a bar.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: How did they even get over there?
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: Lifted, I imagine.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: You couldn't give them a boost.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: Where were you frequenting?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: Where on where don't I frequent?
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: There's a pub near us.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_02: Ah.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_02: And there's somebody who goes in there.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, with their kidney.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: You know who they are.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_02: Did I know who they are?
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_02: And he leaves them unsupervised.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_02: They were chasing people's cars.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck, they do my nut in every time.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: And this is like a lovely pub in the middle of buttfuck nowhere.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_02: He just gets hammered at the bar and then drives home with his kids in the car, which is absolutely mental.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: But literally leaves them to go feral.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: That does my tits and like take your kids wherever you want.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: I've got no beef about that.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like, as long as they're well behaved and they're like a normal human being, like take them a colouring book, put them in front of an iPad, whatever you want to do.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_02: But leaving them to go feral outside and disturb other people's peace, get fucked.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's really annoying.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_02: When you're paying like six or seven quid for a pint now, it's a little bit better quite a bit.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_04: I was just thinking, that just definitely sounds like that.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, it's absolutely mental, yeah.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, what else have you got for me?
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_02: With it being Halloween, I thought we could do a haunted house, the dating edition.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_02: So what I want from you both is for example, it's a haunted house, but it's just a man saying, I'm seeing where things are going.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_02: Or a haunted house, but it's just a man with a mattress on the floor.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's a haunted house, but he asked if you finished.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no!
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um a haunted house, but it's just your ex asking for you back.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no! Rich, you got any for us?
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um Don't worry if you don't, we can keep on going.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, you keep going.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um A Haunted House, but it's just a man who says his ex was crazy.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_01: I know, I already had it written down before our conversation earlier, but I said this one to you guys earlier, but it's only because I've lived it.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's a haunted house, but he looks at you and goes, Do you really need to go out with the girls tonight?
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: You won't you just stay home with me?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: Goodbye.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: Hard no from me.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there are there are so many.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's a haunted house, but it was like your worst situationship that happened six months ago.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: Can you imagine?
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I've got a good one which I think you'll enjoy.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_02: Haunted house, but it's just a man who says his divorce isn't finalised yet, but we've been over for months.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's a haunted house, but he asks you to peg him.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, Peggy! Fuck's sake.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus tonight.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh haunted house, but it's just a man who says, You remind me of your mum.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_02: Horrid.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, I'm all out.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: Happy Halloween, motherfuckers!
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's a haunted house.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: But he grabs your tummy and goes, I don't worry about all of that.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_03: Oh remember that one?
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, our lovely Bristolian listener.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god, bless her heart.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: So money.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's a haunted house.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: He has no idea about foreplay.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: As Lulu says, the only way you can make a woman orgasm is through the clitoris.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: And can I just say foreplay starts from like the minute you wake up?
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: Is that hear me out?
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: No, yeah, yeah.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you are just genuinely pissing someone off throughout the day and not being helpful and just being rude and just being ignorant, do not expect a woman to be in the mood later on that evening.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: No, hard agreement.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like it all it all adds up.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: Cook me dinner, wine me and dine me.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: Just be even just be helpful.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Take the dogs out, take the bins out, do something.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not a pink job, blue job thing.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, just be helpful.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: I honestly couldn't there be anything worse if someone's like just been a twat all day and then they just no.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_01: Where do you stand on pink jobs and blue jobs?
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_01: Just curious.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, have we met?
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: You do all jobs, but yeah.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I don't really think it's a pink job, blue job thing, but I do prefer, let's say, if I was living with someone for a bloat to take the bins out and do stuff like that.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: Me too.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: I hate doing it.
• 37:48
  unknown: Me too.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: Put washer fluid in my windscreen.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_02: I've lived on my own.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_02: I will I will do it all, but if you are offering to pump up my tires, I'm kind of here for that.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, 100%.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_02: I can do it.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_02: I just don't want to do it.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, I think this is a blue job.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, Really?
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_02: I can do it.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_02: I just would prefer that you get your hands dirty.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you do, you do.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_02: In the cold.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: See you in the spring, Charles.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, have you got anything else or we onto Would You Rathers?
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_02: We're onto Would You Rathers.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, um, so we've we've got a spooky edition this week.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_02: Shock horror, because it's Halloween.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh God.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so Olivia, would you rather find out the fun size bar that you just ate was one your ex licked and put back in the bowl, or find their toenail on your Halloween sweets?
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: Really fucking jarring, mate.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: The fuck?
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_02: What would you rather?
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_02: Also, how fun are those fun size bars, by the way?
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_02: Are the ones you get Halloween when people go trick-or-treating?
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_02: They are enjoyable.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_02: You have a little tea.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sending you for an ADHD test.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: Teen Tony Haskell.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_04: I agree.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_04: I did think about that when you said that to me earlier.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, hmm, you've got tendencies.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just high functioning.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, no, you are.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_04: Alcoholic, yeah.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: High functioning at something.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: People in glass hell, they shouldn't row balls.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um go for the lick.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, me too.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like toenails.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, would you rather your ex show up at the to the party dressed as you doing a full impression of you, or show up with a new partner who looks like you but better?
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: New partner, because he can't carry off looking like me.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_02: Would you rather be trapped in a haunted house with your ex and their new partner or with worst first date you've ever had?
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: Worst first date.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_02: Would you rather go trickle treating dressed as your ex's new partner or as your ex in front of mutual friends?
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_02: Is this ex-heavy?
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_02: What's Claude doing to us?
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_02: I go as my ex.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_02: Would you rather get a love letter written in blood from your ex begging for another chance?
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's ketchup, you can taste it.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_02: Or it megapox.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_02: Or a 3M voice note from them dressed as a vampire saying they never stop thinking about you.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_02: Vampire?
• 40:02
  unknown: Never cullen.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, would you rather survive a zombie apocalypse with your ex as your only ally?
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_03: Or with your ex's new partner?
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_03: My ex's new partner.
• 40:15
  unknown: What the fuck?
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_01: What's happening?
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: This is Mercury in the microwave shit.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_03: This is literally just a gum.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: So sick of it.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: Start proofreading our shit, please.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: This is absolutely fucking funny.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_03: You're right.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: She's out to get me.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_03: Because you're not gonna like this one either.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_02: Would you rather drunk text your ex boo at midnight and have them reply with who's this?
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_02: Or have them instantly reply with a full paragraph.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: Who's this?
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because as my friend Lu says, we don't want any soliloquies from boys.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_01: No soliloquies.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_02: Oh fuck no, keep the feet shut up.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_02: My eyes are streaming.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck it out.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: You don't like Wednesday.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: She's lost there.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, you keep picking the wrong eye, babe.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: You look like you look like a Frisian cow.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_01: Do this.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: Wrong eye.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_01: Wrong eye.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_01: Wrong one.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, God.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_02: Right, last one, because I can't read any more about exes.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_02: Would you rather be possessed for a day and say every thought out loud to your date or be possessed and text every thought your ex?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: Text every thought.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_02: Over to you.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_02: I am gonna brief read next week.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: I've just given these a brief read.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: And you have got no ex-1.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: So what I can only assume is that I'm being targeted because she's just gone full bitch mode.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's not me, it's Claude.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_03: The fourth member of our team.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking hell.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather bob for apples in a tub everyone at a party has already spat in?
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: Or drink a witch's brew someone made in a bathtub.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, um, I'll take the witch's brew.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather go home with someone from a Halloween party and find out in daylight that they were wearing a full face latex mask the whole time?
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: Or find out that they were your ex's cousin.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: I lied.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: Apparently there's um I'll take the ex's cousin.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: Stay toxic.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather have to scream, not tonight, Satan, every time you hear a spooky noise, or have every pumpkin you pass whisper your most embarrassing moment?
• 43:00
  unknown: What the fuck is this shit?
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_02: What was the first one?
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_01: Not tonight, Satan.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_02: Not tonight, Satan.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'll do that.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_02: Not tonight, Satan.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather be stuck in a lift for an hour with a clown who won't break character?
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_01: Or with Michael Myers who just wants to talk about his feelings.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'll take Michael Myers.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_04: Twins, Basil.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_04: Twins.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather get ghosted by someone you actually liked or get haunted by someone you ghosted who keeps liking your stories at 2 a.m.?
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, if that's the only haunting they're doing, then I'll take the haunting.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather eat a mystery sweep from the bottom of the bowl that's been sitting there since 2019 or find a long hair in your mouth after a Halloween snog?
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'll take the mystery sweep.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, fair.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather wake up in a graveyard in your costume with a mystery phone number on your hand or wake up with a stranger in full costume asleep next to you and no memory of the night?
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh I'll take the graveyard because the second part sounds very date rapey.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: Does that smell like chloroform to you?
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather wear a costume so clever nobody gets it all night?
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: Or a lazy bed sheet ghost that everyone says is the best one there?
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_02: Costume that no one gets.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: Intellectually challenged people.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_02: Spudnik.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_02: George Friends?
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_02: The Roscoe's a spudnik.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_04: No, but I was.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_02: The Russian satellite.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: No one gets it.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_04: I did the sheet.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_04: Because someone told me I couldn't do the sheet, so I did the sheet.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather your date's idea of a couple's costume is something deeply cringe you have to wear on the train, or they insist on going as a sexy version of something that should never be sexy, like a traffic cone.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: A sexy version of something.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: Couple's outfits.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather survive a zombie apocalypse with only one person from your phone contacts chosen at random or with whoever you last texted?
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_01: I know what I'd say.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: Whoever last texts.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because it would be us.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um Rich, we've got some for you.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because I thought you quite enjoyed being involved in Would You Rather last week.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_01: Can we talk about the fact she's even put a teeny tiny bat?
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_02: Gay lord.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_02: Hey.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so Rich, we're gonna alternate.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_02: You've got some as well, um, Olivia.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_02: Would you rather have a skeleton that rattles every time you walk into a room or a ghost that sighs loudly every time you say something embarrassing?
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_02: Which, by the way, would be a lot.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_04: Ghost.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_02: A ghost! It's a second friend's reference of the night.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_02: Come on!
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather be a mummy who has to unwrap himself every time you need a wee or a Frankenstein who can't bend his legs?
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_04: Frankenstein.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I hear you.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, it's a lot of admin, those every time you need to pee.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_02: Would you rather be chased through a corn maze by a guy with a chainsaw?
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god, and have to trip your best mate to escape, or get caught first and let him get away.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna take one for the team.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_04: Would you?
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fuck you, I'm shooting you up.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_04: Remember me.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather reach blindfolded into a pumpkin full of cold spaghetti and unknown hair or eat only pumpkin flavoured everything for a month?
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_04: Pumpkin.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, they're both pumpkin, which one?
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_04: No, no pumpkin flavour for a month.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, everything.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_04: Oh.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_04: Second pumpkin.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_04: Second pumpkin, yeah.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_02: Would you rather be stuck in a sweaty, full-body, inflatable costume for 12 hours, toilet trips included, or a damp mummy costume that never fully dries?
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_04: Inflatable.
• 46:36
  unknown: Okay.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_02: Should we do the last one each?
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather take a date to a haunted house and have her completely fearless while you scream like a child?
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: I can envision that.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_01: Or have her cling to you in terror and scream directly in your ear all night.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_04: The second one.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh go on.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: What a lad.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and last but not least, would you rather wear a couple's costume with someone you've been seeing for a week or go solo while your date wears a couple costume with her ex?
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_04: Which one are you choosing?
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_04: Shit.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_04: Um second one, because I could laugh.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, nice.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_02: I like it.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_02: I like it, I like it, I like it.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_02: You got any random thoughts for me?
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I have a question for you both.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know why we celebrate Halloween?
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, fuck me.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: But I know you're gonna tell me.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: Do you?
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_04: Is it did I learn about this from hocus pocus?
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we're gonna talk about Salem Witch Trials.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: Just a bunch of hocus pocus.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, we're gonna talk about Salem Witch trials.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: Is it Yeah, if you want?
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, I just wanted.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really know.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_01: I was asking you both.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_04: No, I don't really know.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: Something to do with like Oh, you I thought you'd researched it and be like, This is why.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_02: I know, I Googled it beforehand, and it is there is something to do with celebrating I swear it was on hocus pocus.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_02: Celebrating the dead.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um and Salem has something witchy going on there.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, was Salem which trials were?
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: Come Little Children of Tickets.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_04: That's it.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: I was so attracted to it.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, I'm really attracted to that with it.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_04: No, I know.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: Who's the other one that's really funny?
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_01: Laughs.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um I don't know who the actress is.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's a great film.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_02: Actually, you must have watched the remake as well.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_02: I might watch it on Halloween.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_02: So, the reason that we celebrate Halloween is it evolved from the Celtic festival of Soin, which marked the end of the harvest and a night where spirits were believed to roam and later emerged with the Christian All Hallows Eve, which is what they talk about in Hocus Poker.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um it says trickle treating likely descends from medieval souling, which is praying for the dead in exchange for soul cakes, and Scottish and Irish guising, which is performing in costume for treats.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I could do that right now.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_02: Traditions brought to North America by immigrants, and then it says in the 20th century um US offering treats helped curb Halloween pranks, so it stopped people like throwing things at your house.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um in it.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_02: And then basically it's then eventually evolved into what we know today.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_02: See?
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_02: We just say, what about Salem?
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_02: It says, yeah, Salem, Massachusetts Massa I can't speak.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_02: Salem, Massachusetts, has a strong link to Halloween in popular culture, but it's not not to its actual origins.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_02: So it says the connection comes from the Salem witch trials of 1692 to 93, when more than 200 people were accused of witchcraft and 20 were executed, mostly by hanging after hysteria spread through the Puritan community.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_02: Says it had the trials had nothing to do with all Halloween's Eve.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um the Puritans actually just disapproved of Halloween-style festivities, and the hot holiday only became widespread in America much later.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, watch Hocus Pokers.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: I've seen it.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_02: One and two.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_02: Ten out of ten.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_04: What do you mean two?
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_02: There's a second one, they did a remake.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_04: A remake?
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_02: Have you not seen it?
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_04: But they called it Hocus Poker's two.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not on board.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's good.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_02: Watch it.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_02: Watch it with an open mind.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_02: Watch the first one first and then watch the second one.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_04: I've watched the first one.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_04: I grew up with that.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_01: Have you had any random thoughts this week that you need to share with the group?
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_04: Me and random thoughts.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_04: Nothing that can be published.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_01: Anything from you, Olivia?
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh no, nothing from me.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing from me.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that's it.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm done.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: You'll never see me dress this seductively ever again.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: Feast your eyes.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_02: You will never see in this face again.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_02: We do not care what you did come out.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, please keep your random stories coming in.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_02: Junk story.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_02: Form submissions.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we love it.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_02: And it's really fun because it is anonymous, so we've got no idea.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I remember before we end, lots of people have been asking me about where are people listening from?
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_02: Can you pull it up?
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_02: So Liv sees all of the stats.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_02: People ask me all the time, they're like, How many people are listening?
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I genuinely have no idea because I have enough metrics in my life that I can't get.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_01: People are genuinely interested, fine.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_01: But also people, yeah, but sometimes people ask what your numbers are just to see how well you're doing.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you don't need to know.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: We're doing very fucking well.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: Eat shit.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it's really fun when you realise like how many people across the world are listening to us three Rabbit On.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_01: So Olivia, over to you.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so Eve, I'm just gonna go off just in the last seven days.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we we are we've got our usuals, which is the UK, US, Australia, New Zealand.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then say usuals, like I'm surprised we're even outside of the UK.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: Represent.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, those are weekly.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, on top of that, we've got Andorra, Brazil, Brazil, Denmark, Finland, Albania, Sweden, Portugal, Germany, Mexico, Belgium, Kenya, Kuwait, Thailand, and Angola.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's just the last seven days.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_01: Unreal.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_01: Fonds that throw me are like Tennessee, um, and Iowa, and Jerusalem.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_01: We had Jerusalem.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_01: We had Jerusalem the other week.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus has been listening, and his brothel creepers.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you call them Nazareth creepers.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_02: Bethlehem.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, God.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I just thought that would be really fun to share with people.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_01: We've got some fucking rogue ones.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, Nairobi.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because I often forget, like, obviously, we sit here and we have a chat, and it's just us, but like, when I listen to another podcast, I'm driving around doing whatever, and it's really nice.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I had someone say to me the other day, she's like, I listen every week, and she was like, I feel like I'm just down the pub having a chat with you guys, and it's really nice.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, there's people listening everywhere, which I thought was quite fun and just nice to spread a little bit of joy.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's absolutely mad the spread.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's absolutely mad.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_01: So, go us.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_01: Woohoo!
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um we're flying a flag.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_01: And now we're gonna shut the fuck up.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_02: Over the world.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know who sings that rich?
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_02: I'm pretty sure it was on um one of those TV talent shows back in the day.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_02: Uh maybe they were on Eurovision, you know, the people that did uh Pizza Hut, uh Pizza Hut, uh Chicken and a Pizza Hut.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_02: What are they called?
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_02: Right, I'm ready for it.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm ready.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_02: Let's wrap this shit up until next Friday.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: Stay toxic.