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Transcript

Family Dynamics 6.21.26 · St. Paul Podcast

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone and welcome to the St.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Paul Podcast.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Mark Neethammer, senior pastor at St.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Paul Lutheran Church, located in Davenport, Iowa, part of the Greater Quad Cities area of Iowa and Illinois.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right here each week you will find beautiful music and a message of hope and good news to guide your life.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Or how about this?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever started a fight by telling the truth?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us can say yes to one, maybe both of these questions.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's often frustrating when speaking the truth in love to someone we care about causes a fight to break out.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And while this is unfortunate, it points to something larger, a dynamic present in so many of our lives.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: In our gospel reading today, Jesus has some really blunt, challenging words for us about family dynamics.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: He pushes us to see that in some cases, peace in our families isn't peace at all.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: But rather, what we see as peace is really a complacency, an acknowledgement that there are just things we don't want to talk about.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So here's a reading from Matthew's gospel, and be warned, it can be a bit challenging because this isn't the style we expect from Jesus.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: A disciple is not above the teacher, nor a slave above the master.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: It is enough for the disciple to be like the teacher, and the slave like the master.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: If they have called the master of the house Beelzebel, how much more will they malign those of his household?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: So have no fear of them, for nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not become known.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: What I say to you in the dark, tell in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim from the house tops.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do not fear those who kill the body, but cannot kill the soul.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Rather, fear the one who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your father.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And even the hairs of your head are all counted.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: So do not be afraid.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: You are of more value than many sparrows.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my father in heaven.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: But whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my father in heaven.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: I've not come to bring peace, but a sword.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: For I've come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, and one's foes will be members of one's own household.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: And whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Peace when things are left unsaid isn't peace.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: What do we do about it?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Here's my sermon preached on Father's Day of all days, on family dynamics, grace, and values.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Let's hear those last uplifting words one more time, shall we?
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Do not think I've come to bring peace to the earth.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, I've come to bring a sword.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: I've come to set a man against father and daughter against mother and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law, and one's foes will be members of one's household.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Happy Father's Day, everybody.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing says loving parental relationships, like Jesus saying he's going to set people apart and violently with a sword.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: This is certainly a far cry from what we usually get from Jesus, what we've come to expect.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: We love those readings of Jesus, those sayings that lead us back and cause us to sing that great old song, Jesus loves me, and this is not one of those.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: So in our heads, we have Jesus, this tender and mild, this teacher of wise counsel, the Prince of Peace, mind you.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And now something else.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: The most basic, the cheapest of birds sold in the marketplace.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: They're virtually worthless.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And yet Jesus says he cares even for them.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then without hardly taking a breath, he says, I've come to bring a sword and set people apart.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: So what's the difference?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: What has changed?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: In a sense, nothing.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: How we hear this passage is going to take some work, though.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because we have to somehow balance the fact that we are like those sparrows in Jesus' eyes, beloved, counted of worth.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And also that when we follow Jesus, our familial relationships may not always be quite as they seem.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the focal point for us today as we face one of Jesus' most challenging teachings about swords and family conflicts and all of this.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: He has asked his followers and us by extension to not admire what he does.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Do not appreciate his miracles or his sayings.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: To not be fair weather fans.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: He's demanding followers.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Those who have been changed by the grace and mercy of God.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Those who have not only received forgiveness, but have lived forgiven and thus have done the same.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: We are a new creation.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes we don't want that.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because what is familiar to us is almost always better in our minds.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Certainly easier.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I think of these lives that Jesus is calling us to like a house project.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: A renovation project, if you will.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if you've seen any of those home renovation shows on TV.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of an unwritten rule in my household that when we travel and when we're in a hotel that has a TV, we have to watch home renovation shows.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: They're fantastic.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now you probably know there are about a million variations on the theme here.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: There's a homeowner who wants their uh who wants to move out.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Their house is either dated or it doesn't function terribly well.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: And a beautiful TV host comes in promising complete transformation.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then 72 hours later, it looks like a new place.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, like so many, my family gets captivated by the process here of gutting a house.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, we judge all of the design choices that the producers have made.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the fun of these types of shows is the reveal, right?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: There's that house, it's dated or it's not functioning, but now at the end, it's incredibly modern and beautiful.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's filled with the latest color combinations, modern fixtures, furniture that looks really great on TV, but you know it's uncomfortable, no matter how many trendy throw pillows you put on it.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And while we love the reveal, we also love the construction.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we love watching people pick up sledgehammers and demolish their walls, tearing them down, creating holes all around, throwing bathtubs out of second-story windows, ripping up the carpet.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Even on TV, you know what those rooms smell like.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: You see the dust billowing, and you just know what it smells like.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is the nature of renovation.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Things have to get broken before they can be changed.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: And in these shows, inevitably, this is the drama of it all.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as the walls start coming down, that's when the problems arise.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: If they would have simply put on a new coat of paint or some new wallpaper, nobody would have been the wiser.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: But once you break in and start tearing it apart, well, you see the mold and the termite colonies and the water leak that's eroding the structure.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: So here's our connection.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus is not interested in us simply behaving better or being nice on the surface with no other changes.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus has called us, through the work of the Holy Spirit, to complete transformations of our lives.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: And what we're called into is big.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: So many of us at this moment in history live in fear of so many things.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: An uncertain economy scares us into a stinginess, leaving the most vulnerable in our communities at even more risk.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: We're afraid of telling the truth because we're afraid of what it might cost us in our family systems.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Some among us don't enter into deep friendships or any relationships, fearful of being hurt again or rejected again or just not being accepted.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Some among us continue in damaging and addictive behaviors to substances or gambling, knowing that it's eating their souls, but also afraid to let the truth out, admitting frailty we fear so much because that's what's easy.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: However, the life that Jesus calls us into isn't one of fear.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's a life of hope.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hope for a peaceful future.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Hope for a world where everyone genuinely has enough of what they need.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hope that our families can live in genuine peace and not just the peace of leaving things left unsaid.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus is not interested in changing the paint, keeping something looking fine, but doing nothing about what's inside.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the problem.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: What happens when we move from fear to hope or stinginess to generosity or resignation that things will never change and the world is horrible, to trust that God is actually in control.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes those changes break open family systems that are already hanging by a threat.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because when someone actually lives the forgiven and freed life that Jesus gives, it's a threat to the whole system.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Hope and fear rarely live well together.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Generous spirits upset the chronic ailment of scarcity.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus came to bring that sword, to reveal the places where fear and scarcity and resignation have settled into our lives and our growing roots.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: He's done this not so that we can try harder, but so that God's healing grace can begin its work, even if it means identifying damage.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: But healing can and does come.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it comes through Jesus Himself.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Good Friday, that day of crucifixion was dark, all hope was lost until resurrection, joy, burst burst forth.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Hope flooded creation.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: God is not in the business of just exposing the problems of our world.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: God doesn't tear down the wall to leave the room unfinished.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Resurrection is the promise that God has rebuilt and is rebuilding each of us, each and every day.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes when grace enters a room, things get stirred up.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Not because grace is destructive, but because grace refuses to settle for the appearance of life when real life is possible.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you remember those sparrows Jesus mentioned?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Those smallest of creatures sold for a penny?
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Those sparrows that are of immense value to Jesus.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: So wherever this reading finds you, maybe it's keeping up appearances and hoping for more.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's isolated from those that you love for many reasons, or scared that you haven't done enough, said enough, loved enough, given enough, you are of value to God.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can put your hope for a new and changed world in our risen Savior.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: You can live extravagantly generous lives, serving courageously because the reveal is coming.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: The results of all that work God is doing, all that grace, all that healing, will one day be seen clearly.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it will be full of mercy and grace for you, for all creation, no matter what that brokenness might look like today.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: Give us today our daily bread, forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Save us from the time of trial, and deliver us from evil.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and forever.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: People of God, the grace of our Lord isn't here to divide people for the sake of dividing.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: The message of Jesus doesn't separate us for the sake of separating.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: Both lead us to deeper healing, even if it means temporary discomfort.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: Both, however, are a means for us to see a greater resurrection joy that is coming, that will be revealed.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: So go out this week in peace to love and serve the Lord.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: Our commitment to endeavors that lend hope to other people stretches across the country and around the world.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: We hope that in a good way you feel a part of that reach.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Tune in next Thursday for another edition of the St.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Paul Podcast.