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COLD CUTS: A Real Keyzie Special · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: The hold Aching Big Show with Jason, Mike and Kyzy.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Tune in week days at four on Radio hodak Us.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Indeed the Red.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: Hot Chili Peppers here on the Radio Hodarky Big Show
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: this Monday afternoon. The time is twenty minutes to five o'clock.
• 0:17
  Speaker 4: Certainly as fellas on SATDY there. I participated in the
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: World Series of Kiwi Pong. You are very exciting, a
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: whole heap of teams. Everyone you know in peers with
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  Speaker 4: cool team names, costumes and things. I was peered up
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: with mania from the Breakfast Show. We won three out
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  Speaker 4: of our five games, not quite enough to go through
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  Speaker 4: to the next round. But the failers that actually won
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: a spot from our show last week, they won the
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: last spot. Ye were called Double d Cups. They got
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: right through to the final and almost won the tens.
• 0:47
  Speaker 5: Tragedy.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was great.
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  Speaker 3: So it is it worse to just be second when
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  Speaker 3: you're you know, it was ten thousand and six dollars
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  Speaker 3: the prize money.
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  Speaker 2: I'd rather not make it out of the group than
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  Speaker 2: be second.
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  Speaker 4: Because they literally until three days before the competition, they
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: had other plans for the weekend. Three days later, they're
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: competing for ten thousand dollars at the World Series of Cuypong.
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  Speaker 4: They were stoked, regardless. I was stoked. The guys that
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  Speaker 4: did win had been there quite a few years in
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  Speaker 4: a row.
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  Speaker 6: But that'd be like, I take your point, Jase, you know,
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  Speaker 6: so close to winning ten thousand dollars, that would be
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  Speaker 6: like playing breakfast and golf by one stroke. Don't and
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  Speaker 6: then say it's still a good time because at least
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  Speaker 6: we get to do their show on the last day
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  Speaker 6: of the year.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but listen, so you won three out of five.
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  Speaker 4: We won three out of five. We started to get
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  Speaker 4: a bit of a roll on there. We into the
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  Speaker 4: Goldilock zone, which is what Mania called.
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  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, when you're perfectly boozed.
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  Speaker 4: Well you perfectly you have responsibly had enough drinks that
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  Speaker 4: you were awesome.
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  Speaker 2: You chill.
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  Speaker 4: But then we quickly exited the goldilocks zone, went through
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  Speaker 4: the Rapunzel zone, and too the we were completely Yeah,
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  Speaker 4: so that was where we went wrong. But I was
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  Speaker 4: stitched up because after being knocked out early, there was
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  Speaker 4: probably an hour and a half of like the semi
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  Speaker 4: finals and stuff happening where manaia my so I've continued
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: to responsibly have a few quiet ones, and then we
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  Speaker 4: got up on stage where the ACC was then commentating
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  Speaker 4: the final the final matchup on a live stream, and
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  Speaker 4: I had been completely skiving off from MC duties all day.
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  Speaker 4: I was supposed to be one of the MC's. I
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  Speaker 4: didn't speak on the microphone at all, and I was
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  Speaker 4: really stoked about it until we're on stage, big crowd around,
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: and Glane handed me the microphone and then goes, we
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: usually sing the national anthem, and I was like, are
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  Speaker 4: you gonna play it or is it? No? No, I
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  Speaker 4: usually just sing it, and so I, you know, five
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  Speaker 4: seconds notice and I'm like, okay, start singing the national anthem. Afterwards,
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  Speaker 4: everyone accused me of committing some sort of hate crime
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  Speaker 4: because I did the English one for when I was
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  Speaker 4: the last time. The last time I sung a national
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  Speaker 4: anthem would have been when I was at school. I
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  Speaker 4: completely forgot which way around it went five seconds, noticed
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: a few too many beers.
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  Speaker 2: So you finished with the multi vision?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah cool, this was fine, And then everyone was just
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: and then I didn't have that. Isaac, who works here too,
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: was just like, oh man, that was so bad, bro.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: You might have to like do an apology and stuff.
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: It's a bit of a stitch up.
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  Speaker 3: You were lucky the siren wasn't there.
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  Speaker 4: You know, the racers just connected Jason.
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  Speaker 5: Oh, thank god for that. That's good to know, actually.
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  Speaker 4: But such a stitch up. And to be honest, even
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: when the national anthems on TV for the All Blacks whatever,
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  Speaker 4: I'm not watching it. It's boring. I've heard the song.
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  Speaker 3: It is quite tedious to be I mean, I know
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  Speaker 3: all the words and stuff.
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  Speaker 4: But that's weird though, because until you're on stage with
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  Speaker 4: the microphone leading people, you're like, do I know the words?
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  Speaker 6: But I also feel that way about the English part
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  Speaker 6: of it, not strictly the MOLDI version.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, the English one was the one I struggled.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Look, I don't look.
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  Speaker 6: I'd love to be able to drag over the calls
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  Speaker 6: for those cuzy but I don't think you've done anything
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  Speaker 6: wrong with you man, Thank you?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean classic Lane just shrowing you into the sharks,
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  Speaker 3: really didn't he Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: But I mean funny though, got you pretty good. I
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  Speaker 4: felt bad because everyone was saying I committed a hate crime.
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  Speaker 4: I just forgot.
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  Speaker 5: You must have found like a mess of marners. You
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: wouldn't have cared because you know, you were pretty tank
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  Speaker 5: dap there. Just want to slid your way through it.
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  Speaker 4: I did slim my way through it at one point
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  Speaker 4: and alahos the SEC grabbed the microphone off me.
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  Speaker 6: Right, Oh really you need to go out here because
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  Speaker 6: you're a massive sexist as well.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, and then you did a bomb ontage.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah?
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  Speaker 2: Is this the out?
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Monkeys the Hierarchy Big Show weekdays from four on Radio Hodarky.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Kings of Leon there on the Radio Hodarkey Big Show
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  Speaker 3: this Tuesday evening. Now, Keysy, I meant to ask mate,
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  Speaker 3: of course over the weekend you were doing a couple's massage.
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  Speaker 3: Oh that's right, you are getting massaged in the same
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  Speaker 3: room at the same time.
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  Speaker 5: How did it go? Talk us through it?
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  Speaker 4: It was actually really, really really enjoyable. I love it. Yeah, great,
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  Speaker 4: I love massages. I've decided that I.
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  Speaker 5: Could you put the sexy music on? Please?
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  Speaker 4: Why it's not relevant?
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  Speaker 2: Oh? What about that Benny Hill music.
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  Speaker 4: You wanting to hang on?
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  Speaker 5: Can you go back to set?
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  Speaker 4: Can you describe?
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  Speaker 6: Can you take us from actually sitting that you arrive,
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  Speaker 6: you're there and the reception and take us through it?
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  Speaker 4: So the first thing you have to do is they
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  Speaker 4: hand you They hand you a clipboard each with a
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  Speaker 4: few things. You fill out your details and then wait,
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  Speaker 4: then there's the outline of a human body. Yeah, and
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  Speaker 4: then you have to circle any areas that require attention.
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  Speaker 4: I'm with you, okay, So there's one that's like the
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  Speaker 4: human body facing forwards, human body facing backwards. Okay, So
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  Speaker 4: I circled my lower back.
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  Speaker 2: You've got to shock them back, haven't you.
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  Speaker 4: Well, it's got a fraction vertebrate plays up on mere weaver.
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  Speaker 4: You probably should do pilates. So I circled lower back.
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  Speaker 5: And you didn't do that on the front that way?
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  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, my my quads are there actually fine? Yeah, nice,
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: And you go down there and then they say get changed,
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: get unchanges into your undies.
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  Speaker 6: And supply some undies, just my undies.
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  Speaker 4: They're also here. Put on these special spa undies.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Well they do have those. Do you not know about that?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah?
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  Speaker 6: That when I was over in Fizzy and I went
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  Speaker 6: for that smart They give you disposable underbent so that
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  Speaker 6: you're not wearing your filthy bastards and then.
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  Speaker 5: Your massive testy hanging out the side there.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah. No, they didn't do that. It was just me
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  Speaker 4: and my jockeys. Yeah. My wife was the same, so
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  Speaker 4: she was.
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  Speaker 5: Crook.
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  Speaker 4: I know she I can't remember what under she was.
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  Speaker 4: I wasn't really looking, I was also very hungover.
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  Speaker 2: Sounds about it, right, And.
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  Speaker 4: It was actually you know, you sort of you put
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  Speaker 4: your head in the hole years you do, and you
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  Speaker 4: get you get under the blanket there and then they
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  Speaker 4: sort of start by rubbing your neck and stuff and
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  Speaker 4: like even the top of my head with my hair
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  Speaker 4: and like you know, massage.
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  Speaker 2: Right, just working the head, working the head. Yeah, and then.
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  Speaker 4: With oil or yeah, it wasn't yeah, yeah, sure what oil.
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  Speaker 2: It was work in the head with a bit of
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  Speaker 2: oil there.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, only for a wee bit.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't want to do it too much.
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  Speaker 4: And then we had it down to my then we
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  Speaker 4: moved down to my hands. My favorite part about the
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  Speaker 4: massage is the hand massage, right, really getting stuck in
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  Speaker 4: there and yeah, well it's.
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  Speaker 3: Very it's connected to all your little bits and pieces,
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  Speaker 3: the old hand and your feet.
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  Speaker 6: That's right, the pressure points for many of the body's organs.
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  Speaker 6: Of course, Keyzy, the nervy Indians come out there on
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  Speaker 6: your feet, in your hands, yeah, yeah, they do your feet.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, they did my feet.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: The Whold Arching Big Show with Mike and Kezy tune
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: in week days at four on Radio Hodarchy.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: Rage Against the Machine. There on the Radio Hodarchy Big Show.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: This Wednesday evening.
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  Speaker 4: Fell as I saw an old man fall over in
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  Speaker 4: town today.
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  Speaker 2: How old?
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  Speaker 4: But not that old to me?
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  Speaker 5: I reckon.
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  Speaker 4: He would have been sixty businessman wearing business pants and
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  Speaker 4: a business shirt and business shoes.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, okay, now it was rain.
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  Speaker 3: Not a sort of wafy stray kind of character.
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  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, not at all. Yeah, he was
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  Speaker 4: in good nick and he it was. It was pouring
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  Speaker 4: with rain, right, and he was walking down a sort
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  Speaker 4: of side street in the Auckland CBD. I was coming up.
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  Speaker 4: I was probably thirty meters away from him. He was.
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  Speaker 4: I was walking up the hill. He was coming down
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  Speaker 4: the hill and I noticed him slip. He slipped and
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  Speaker 4: landed on his tookis He landed on his butt. Now
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  Speaker 4: I looked around because he sort of slipped, landed on
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  Speaker 4: his butt and was looking down. I looked around and
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: noticed that there was no one else around except for me,
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  Speaker 4: And quickly my brain said that didn't look like it
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  Speaker 4: was too sore. You don't need to help.
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  Speaker 2: Him, right.
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  Speaker 4: The best thing you can do here because there's no
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  Speaker 4: one else around, it's pretend like you didn't notice it
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  Speaker 4: for his sake, right, because pride wise. Yeah, So I
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  Speaker 4: was like, okay, cool. So I got my phone and
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: pretended I was on my phone and then just sort
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  Speaker 4: of I could sort of tell him my peripherals that
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: he had gotten up now and he was okay, and
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: he continued walking, and I just pretended I was looking
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: at my phone. I hadn't notice anything. I just sort
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: of give him the eyebrows payment and they just kept walking, right.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: Was that a bad way to handle it? Or was
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: that okay? Because he didn't need help, he seems fine.
• 9:28
  Speaker 6: Well, there's two types of people in the world, aren't they.
• 9:29
  Speaker 6: There's people that would laugh at that situation, and then
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  Speaker 6: there's you.
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  Speaker 2: Right, it's tricky. It's tricky. I don't know.
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  Speaker 6: I've had experiences like that where people have fallen over
• 9:41
  Speaker 6: and it's been so bad that it hasn't been funny. Yeah,
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  Speaker 6: But most of the time when people fall over, it
• 9:48
  Speaker 6: is funny.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I this was obviously a situation where it wasn't.
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  Speaker 4: Well, it wasn't that funny. It wasn't a funny enough
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  Speaker 4: for he just slipped over landed on his sort of
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  Speaker 4: hip slash butt and was a bit like ah, god,
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  Speaker 4: like just gutted and it seemed like an okay. But
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  Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know anything about him, but I
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  Speaker 4: looked around. No one else saw it. I'll just pretend
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: I had it, and that way his pride is like
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: no one saw that up.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm trying not to feel less about you.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: Keeezy, What would you have done?
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  Speaker 3: That is not the kind of behavior I would have
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  Speaker 3: expected from you. No, but he was fine, You brutal,
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: nasty piece of work.
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: I'm not a brutal nasty Tune.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: Your face away and then go on your phone like
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: you're on your own pal.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: It was an old time.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: It was a disgrace a bloke like that. I could
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: tell that he would be very embarrassed. Most people would
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: by what had just happened. And so my thing was,
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: how about this male save you the embarrassment by pretending
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: like I didn't see you just completely eat shit.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: You could have run over to him, So do you okay, mate?
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  Speaker 4: Exactly? Which is the last thing this guy would want
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: because it's so embarrassing. And now that's some young, goofy guys.
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: Oh you need your help?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that would have freaked him out.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, wow man, what are you goings that to? No,
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  Speaker 4: that's not at all. So I just I think I
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: think I did the right thing, is what I'm getting.
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: You can walk to the car park by yourself. Ton't
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: like easy?
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: Really? What if you fall over?
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: The Holdachy Big Show with Jason, Mike and Kezy Tune
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: in week days at four on Radio Holdarkey