Latest / Why Not Today? with Leslie Kane / Why Not Today? Season 1 - Episode 18 with Tim Ward, Lead Pastor of Crossroads Church

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Why Not Today? Season 1 - Episode 18 with Tim Ward, Lead Pastor of Crossroads Church · Why Not Today? with Leslie Kane

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All right. Hello, this is Leslie Kane. I am the host of the Why Not Today podcast. This
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is a podcast to celebrate people who have been courageous and said, why not today? I
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started this podcast to honor my father, Patrick Kane, who often said, why not today? I'm based
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in Reston, Virginia, a Planned Community right outside of Washington, DC, and thanks for
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joining us today. And I'm excited to have Tim Ward, a friend of mine, and he's also
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a pastor of Crossroads Church. I don't know if that's the whole name, but we'll talk
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about him in a minute, and Ash from Virginia. And before we hear about Tim, I always like
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to talk about connections and how we got connected and where you meet people. You just never
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know. So I had heard of Tim from people. He was in a church in Reston. I kept hearing
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about this Tim Ward and Restoration Church. And I'll never forget the time we first met
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you was when we both spoke at Bob Simon's Vigil. And you walked up to me and you're
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like, you're Olivia Littles' aunt. I'm like, how the heck did you figure that out? I was
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quite impressed. And then we've kind of connected in lots of different ways. And I am grateful
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for you and our friendship. And I've never actually been to your church, which one of
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these officially I've been to the trunk retreat. But one of these days I'm going to come up,
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listen to you online, but love your message and what you share. So Tim, I'm excited to
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have you on today. So why don't you introduce yourself and tell us a fun fact that people
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might not know about you.
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Sure. You know, I always say the best introduction of myself is that I am Susan Ward's husband,
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my wife, amazing and incredible. And I have three really cool kids, two in eighth grade
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and one in 10th grade currently. And a lot of my life is really surrounded around my
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kids and around the church and are calling to be in the community and care for the community.
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I've been a pastor for 15 years. Wow. Serving three different churches, always with a mindset
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of how we reach people and connect with new people. A fun fact about me, if I want to
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go back, I remember it was in college and wisdom teeth time, my little sister and I
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were both getting our wisdom teeth out and she went in and they came out after doing
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her x-rays and they said she has five wisdom teeth. And I remember saying, Oh, my sister,
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she's a freak, right? Who has five wisdom teeth. Well, then I went in for my x-rays
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and I had six. So I lost all of my wisdom at one time when I was in college. But, you
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know, it's just this weird fact that people like, how do you have it? Well, now one of
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my kids has gone in for x-rays and they found two extra wisdom teeth. And this hereditary
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thing, but it's just kind of cool and kind of neat that that tradition of weirdness continues
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in our families.
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That's fun. I love that. That's a fun fact. So let's start out with what does courage
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mean to Tim Warren? You know, for me, when I think about courage, I think about the calling
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and the response to do something that you don't want to do, but it's really important,
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right? Courage is doing something that you need to do either on behalf of somebody else
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for justice, to do something that's right. And often it's not courage if it doesn't push
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you a little bit. We have a saying in our church right now that says there's no growth
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in the comfort zone. Courage usually takes you out of your comfort zone. But for me,
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it's almost always about doing something that's really important. I don't actually think courage
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is jumping off a tall building. I've done that. I don't feel like that's courage because
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it's a moment. I think courage takes time and takes energy and takes thought. So yeah.
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I love that. All those things are so important. And yeah, doing those things we don't really
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feel like doing. Yup. Doing them anyway. And I found in my life, you do it and you're so
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grateful you did. Like, oh, that wasn't so hard. Exactly. I think that's the deal, especially
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when it does something to bring value to somebody else, right? Importance and value. I'm all
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about that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So tell me what have you done in your life to take
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courage? Yeah. I, Leslie and I talked a little bit about this. I think there are several
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moments in my life that have been pivot moments where I've had to do courageous things. I
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could spend a lot of time today talking about how many times I've wanted to leave the church.
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There have been moments that have been hard. The church is all, you know, often known for
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being judgmental. And I've experienced that in my own life in the church. I've experienced
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a lot of goodness from the church too. So don't hear that that's my whole story. But
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there was a moment, goodness, it must've been back in 2014 where I was having one of those
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moments where I said, I think maybe I'm supposed to leave the church again because what I was
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longing for was to be part of a community where, where we could do something that brought
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real benefit to the community without judgment and was inclusive of all people. And I wasn't
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sure that I could find that in the church. And, you know, I had some conversations with
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some people, one, the pastor at the church where I was serving at the time. And we have
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something called a district superintendent in our system, which is somebody who's sort
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of your boss. And they both said, have you ever thought about starting your own church
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and planting a church? And honestly, my first thought was that's crazy. That's insane. Right?
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Heck no. And actually, ironically, I started praying about it because that's what I do
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in my tradition, right? For courage. I'm like, God, what do you want me to do? How do you
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want me to respond? And there were two locations that we were thinking about. One was Rest
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in Virginia and one was Ashburn, Virginia, ironically. So where were you before? I was
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in Herndon at the time. So I was at Florist in Herndon. And it was this moment where we
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didn't know if this was going to work in Reston, right? We didn't know. I mean, my family's
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security was sort of on the line, right? I'm stepping out into a new land where we don't
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have generosity that's already there, but I felt such a strong calling. I remember sitting
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down with the bishop at the time in our system and he said, so tell me why you want to do
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this. And I said, oh, oh, let me be clear. I don't want to do this. I said, I feel more
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called to do this than anything because Reston is this beautiful community that I think the
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thing that's missing is a church that's willing to go out into the community and be fully
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present and fully open and fully welcoming to all people. So as a result, you know, we
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did this thing, it was super scary. I was terrified for our first few months of doing
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it, but as a result, we developed really incredible relationships and Reston, we had many folks
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who lived at Embrey Rucker Shelter who came to worship at our church, which brings a new
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dynamic and another. Going back to Embrey Rucker Shelter. Yeah, it's a homeless shelter
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in Reston. And for those of you listening that aren't from Reston, Reston is the town,
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which I talk about often where I grew up, which is a very unique community. It's interesting
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talking about a church that's welcoming and going back to Embrey Rucker, how that connects.
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Do you know about Embrey Rucker's church? I did. Yes. Yes. Embrey Rucker was a friend
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of my dad, old school Reston. Remember he had this big old beard, it looked like Santa
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Claus, but at Lake Anne Plaza, where I live and grew up near, he had a church. It was
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called, what was it? It was, I want to say community center, but do you remember what
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it was called? I know, I, you know what? I know exactly what it is too, but I can't think
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of it. Well think of it. So, and ironically, there was all these discussions on social
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media the other day about, I guess it then became a daycare. Ah, it starts with a C,
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I can't remember. But it was basically a coffee shop slash church that everybody was welcome.
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And he was just this super laid back, you know, growing up and going to a Catholic church,
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he was nothing like I knew a priest or pastor should look like, but he was very welcoming
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and inviting everybody. So I love how it comes full circle that then people from the shelter
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went to your church. Yeah. And so that was a dynamic of folks who came. Another dynamic
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was we had folks who were part of the transgender community that came to Restoration and felt
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comfortable being there and being who they were. And we had folks who lived in Reston
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and were really interested in the fact that this church was meeting in an elementary school
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at the time, which is where it met next to a voucher choice housing community. And we
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had folks from that voucher choice housing community and we had folks who live on Lake
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Anne and business owners. So the courage, I think, was for me to step out and say, God,
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I know you're telling me to do this thing. And now we got to do it. The next big courageous
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moment was when I got a call from my district superintendent six years later and said, hey,
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there's another place that needs you. It's time for you to go. And I remember being like,
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wait, what? What are you talking about? Right? This is our community. This is where we are.
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And I would just say that to respond to that, and now at an incredibly inclusive church
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in Ashburn and a beautiful community that longed for leadership that just told them
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they were a beautiful community. Right. And I think those are two moments. I've had a
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lot of moments in my life in the church where I felt rejected by the church. I've had a
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lot of moments where I've seen the church reject others. And I think the calling is
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for us to step out, whether we're the church or not, and really welcome people. And I think
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it takes courage to step out and connect with people who you don't know. I saw something
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the other day that said, I love you. It was a big sign that somebody put out in their
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yard. And somebody responded, how can you love me? And they said, well, people hate
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people for no reason at all when they don't know them. Why can't I love people that I
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don't know as well? And I think that takes courage to step out and do that.
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Yeah, absolutely. So let's go back to restoration before we get to Ashburn, because I love what
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you did at restoration and all the inclusion you had and just the different people and
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how you just jumped in were so involved in the community. Like I said, I'd heard about
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you for a while. I'm like, who is this Tim Moor guy? And then honestly, my first thought
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when you spoke at Bob Simon's Vigil was like, why is he speaking? He doesn't know Reston.
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He hasn't been here long. But Reston is a very unique community. And what you brought
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was exactly what Reston needed and what Reston is. I actually had a conversation with somebody
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the other day from a small North Carolina town. And their idea of Northern Virginia
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is all super rich people that have everything white, white collar, just, and I was like,
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really? Like there's Section 8 housing in Reston. He's like, really? Like, that's how
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I grew up. And I know when I spoke at Bob Simon's Vigil talking about the courage of
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him starting Reston and having a diverse community, like that's what we knew. And it was unique.
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And so you were able to, I think, since Reston was a lot older, I mean, it's not really that
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old anyway, but I think the things you did were really what Simon had a calling for.
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And you did get so involved and I saw you doing everything. And I know one of my earlier
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podcasts we interviewed Adrian Caldwell, who you brought to a Best in Reston event. And
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he was so moved by the nonprofit Cornerstones, it's active in Reston. So it's the ripple
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effect of your courage gives us somebody else courage mentoring him. So kind of cool all
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the things you've been able to do and give people courage to come to church and worship
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God wherever they come from.
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That's exactly right. You know, Leslie, you talked about getting connected to the Reston
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community. I'll be honest, I came in, we have a phrase, a theological term, ex nihilo, right,
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out of nothing. Right. I walk into this community and to your point, I'm nobody walking into
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Reston, right. At the time.
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Ironically, Herndon is like next door.
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Exactly. Right.
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Five minutes.
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And we had, my wife and I, for our first house, we had lived in Reston. We actually lived
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in, we were the caretakers of the old Wheely Mansion, which is on Reston, Old Reston Avenue.
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Okay.
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Which used to be the prison fellowship property and all that. But anyway, so we had lived
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in Reston.
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I think we've talked about that. That's a cool place.
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It's a really cool place. But anyway, the way I got connected was I would literally
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walk in and I would meet with somebody and then I would say, tell me the next person
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I need to meet with. Right. And it would be, you need to meet with Leslie Kane, right.
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And Leslie Kane would tell me to go meet with Eve Thompson and Eve Thompson would tell me
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to go meet with Andy Siegel, right. And Andy Siegel would tell me to go meet with Melissa
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Romano. And it was that over and over and over again. And I had the gift of being in
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a group that was a group of pastors that regularly met with Bob Simon when he was still alive.
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Oh wow.
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And he would come in and just share his vision. And you know, he was certainly not a particularly
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religious person. I don't want to pretend like that and push that on anybody. But he
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had a passion for that community and a love for Reston and a vision that excited me to
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be part of that community. So the way that I got so involved was I just kept, you know,
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frankly, sticking my nose in everywhere and saying, you know, how can I be involved in
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this and how can I be involved this to the point where when Bob Simon died, I got a call
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from and I think it was Eve Thompson at the time. I'm trying to remember exactly what
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it was who said, we want you to do it. And I said, why me? We've only been here like
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a year and a half. What is this? And they said, because you already know so many people
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and you're already trusted. And that wasn't a Tim Ward's great thing. That was a, the
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rest and community just brought me in so beautifully and so well.
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When you are pretty great. And I love how I think one of your superpowers is remembering
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people and knowing people. And just the fact the thing with my niece, I was like, wow,
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and how you connected with her and made a difference with her is that she went to your
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church one time after going to camp. And I think you sent her a thank you note with the
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Starbucks gift card. I'm like, who does that? You just did that extra, made the connection
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and we're very welcome. And we were super duper sad that you left and I miss seeing
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you. One of the things that I love that we would just have conversations, going for a
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walk around the lake. And that's just a great way to connect. And I think one thing you
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shared with me one time we were walking is that you said when you met with people and
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entered people with church and stuff, going for a walk or something was always a great
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way for people to have courage to open up. Cause you weren't staring eyeball to eyeball,
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but next to each other could have a conversation. Yeah, it's so true. And I mean, I've continued
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that since I've moved too, because that was a value. I just loved walking around Lake
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Ann. I thought it's beautiful and I loved seeing people, but I found, you know, I remember
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when I was a parent of young children and they were talking about having, frankly having
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the sex talk with your kids and they said, do it when you're driving and the kids in
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the back seat and you're upfront, cause you're not looking eye to eye with them. And it gives
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the encourage to ask questions. And I think that's the same thing when folks are dealing
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with challenging things. If you're walking, you're beside someone and you're walking with,
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you're not looking down on them. You're not, you know, it's a, it's a journey thing, which
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I think super cool. Yeah. My sister and other mothers have always told me the best way to
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find out what's going on with your kids is drive on places. That's exactly right. In
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the back seat, having these conversations. Yep. That's exactly right. Yes. So obviously
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it's occurred to me to Ashburn and to a new church and that was established church. Yeah.
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So it was like restoration. It was started. It was a started church, but it was started
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30 years ago. So back when Ashburn was like brand new, right? Even there 30 years ago.
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I barely, I mean, it really was that the house that we live in, in Ashburn is one of the
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original homes and it's a 1992 house. So that gives you the context of the time. Yeah. That's
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crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Ashburn seems like it was just there yesterday at cornfield. So how
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are things different in Ashburn? Ashburn, if you had to have different courage to navigate
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that and obviously walking into a church that was established was a different courage for
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you. Sure. I mean, I followed the pastor who founded the church. There was somebody who
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was here in between us for a few months as an interim, but I really followed the pastor
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who was very beloved, a great pastor here at Crossroads. So that in and of itself was
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a moment of courage, right? I'm stepping into the church just like, I mean, the person who
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followed me at restoration, I was only there six years, but he had to follow the person
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who founded it, right? Which is hard to get back and that's difficult. And you did a great
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job transitioning by the way. And you did exactly what you did. These are the people
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you need to meet. So I met Daniel and Isaiah and love them. And we were very sad seeing
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you leave restoration, but they've done a great job. Yeah. And I think that's really
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important. So I think the biggest difference that I had to figure out in Ashburn versus
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Reston, Reston has some very natural gathering places, some city centers, right? Like I like
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to say Lake Anne is a natural gathering place for people. That was intentional. You know
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that? Absolutely. You have to park your car and drive in. So you have to connect and talk
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to people. Exactly. And in some ways, a newer, different version of that is the town center,
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right? Where people come and they connect. And Ashburn doesn't have that, right? We don't
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have, and we have one, but it's a little bit different. It doesn't feel quite the same.
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So the courage was to figure out first what the heart of the people of the church were,
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right? So what's the heart of the people? What do they care about? And when I got here,
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I was at church, so we care about two really big things. We want to connect with and serve
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our surrounding community, right? And the second was we really want to know one another
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because we can't do that work until we build a community and build relationships with one
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another. So it was figuring out what are the watering holes, the local watering holes of
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this community. And what I found is that it's mostly coffee shops, right? So I find myself
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in a lot of local coffee shops that are around here. I love Blend. Have you been to Blend?
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I've been to Blend several times, yeah. And SO, which is right here beside us. So I've
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been to these places and I think that was the big major difference. We had to look in
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Reston where our elementary school was, we were right beside Voucher Choice Housing,
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right? There was deep poverty in that elementary school. People like to say in Loudoun County,
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there's no poverty and that's simply not true, right? I went and met with the principal of
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the middle school where my kids were going to go and after five minutes, we stopped talking
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about my kids because I said, look, I'm your pastor. I'm the pastor of the church that's
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right here beside you and I want to know what are your needs. And she just opened up and
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was oozing about the number of families they have in their school that were unhoused in
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Ashburn, Virginia about how they have cafeteria workers and custodians who based on their
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salary at the school literally can't make ends meet and how we can be a support to them
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and an encouragement to them. So part of it was in Reston, some of that stuff sort of
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more naturally open to have. Which ironically, people don't see that. People think, like
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I remember I was involved in Leadership Fairfax and we did a project on food insecurity and
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I remember mentioning it to somebody and their first responsible, Reston doesn't have food
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insecurity. Oh my word, so much. And it's kind of like looking at Ashburn, like you would
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never think Reston did in Ashburn, but it's so true and so prevalent and you just don't
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know it. Yeah, so it's about asking the questions and that's, I think one of the things that
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takes courage is to ask people questions, right? Is to say, what do you need? How can
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we be the church? I just joined another chamber out here because it's out here and it's local
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and I was meeting with the CSR, the lead of that team, which is the Community Social Responsibility
19:35
team. And I said, hey, before we get started, I just want to get this out of the way. I'm
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not a creepy pastor. I'm not going to try to convert you to anything. Like I'm about
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serving the community and she was like, oh, thank God, right? Like we can have a normal
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conversation. And what was really important about that was I just wanted to ask a lot
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of questions. She's like, I want to hear your expertise. And I said, well, you're in this
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community. I want to connect with you, right? And I want to hear what you know about this
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community and how I can be a support and an encouragement to it. So I think a lot of it
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that's been different out here that took courage was asking questions in a different way. I
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could sit down with the founder of Ashburn that doesn't exist, right? Like I could sit
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down with the founder of Reston. But the other difference is I came into a church when I
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started Reston Restoration, there wasn't a bunch of people that knew the community super,
20:28
super well, right? We came in and we met people that were already there. I came into a church
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that lives in this community that has hundreds of people that are already deeply involved.
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So I just wanted to hear the heart and passion of the people. And I had to ask questions
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for that too. You do an awesome job of that and make me want to be better at asking questions,
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getting to know people. So let's talk. Okay. What encouragement would you give somebody
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to say why not say? You know, I think the biggest thing I would say is I don't want
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to live a life of regrets. I believe in transformation and I believe transformation happens in me
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and I believe transformation happens in others. And if I'm always going, well, I'll do that
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tomorrow, I'm missing out on what could be something really beautiful right now and today.
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So I would say the biggest thing is you don't want to live life with regrets. Do it today.
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The worst thing somebody can say is no. Exactly. And I say that often. I remember that's one
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thing I always tell people like what's the worst thing you can do. And the first memory
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of that is your friends is like, do you want to have a sleepover? And they're like, well,
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I'm afraid to ask my parents. I'm like, why are you afraid? The worst they can say is
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no. Like, yeah. And so talk about regret. I often mention that in this podcast a lot.
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One of the books I read right when I started was Daniel Pink's book on regret. Have you
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read that? No, I haven't. So and he's actually local, by the way, Virginia. And I think lived
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in Reston, but he has a book on regret. And he wrote it after going to his daughter's
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college graduation. And then he's like, how did I get here? I was just graduating from
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college. And he's like, what are the things I wish I would have done? And he started interviewing
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people asking about regret and did research and started a book. It's a great book. And
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it just, you know, that's kind of motivated me with this. Like do the thing. Ask the question.
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The worst. Yeah. The worst thing somebody can say is no. Yeah. I remember a time I was
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walking with someone through the end of life experience for them. It was somebody I'd spent
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quite a bit of time with. She became a dear friend of mine. She was older. And I remember
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sitting down with her and I was holding her hand on one of the last days of her life.
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And I said, is there anything you wish that you'd have done in your life that you didn't
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do? And she said, I have absolutely no regrets. And I thought that's the way that I want to
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end my time on this earth. Yeah. Whatever it is, I want to be able to say, you know
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what? I don't regret it. And the truth is, you know, I could regret the argument that
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I had with my kids last night, right? I could regret the way I said something or I could
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work on myself to try to change and do the thing for tomorrow. And if I'm spending my
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life regretting yesterday, then that stops me from living into today and tomorrow. Yeah.
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Totally agree. And there's been lots of opportunities. I've had conversations with people recently
23:26
about elder care and people getting older. And then on Friday, I went I went to a funeral
23:31
of a friend of mine from high school that was 55 that had a heart attack. And then Friday
23:36
evening and Saturday went to a golf tournament with another friend on her son, who four years
23:43
ago was yesterday actually was killed by he was 22 years old and working as a lineman
23:50
and killed as by a drunk driver. And both those things and often things like, you know
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what? I just want to live my life. Like, I'm sad, but it's made me more convicted to say,
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okay, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of today and enjoy the life and do the thing and just
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know God's going to take care of it. Yeah. And I think that, you know, when I do celebration
24:13
of life services, funerals, I always remind people this is actually not for the person
24:17
who's who's died. This is for us to try to take the traits of those people, try to make
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ourselves better today commit to a life of serving others caring for others loving others,
24:28
right, so that we don't have any regrets. Right. You know that song, three little birds?
24:34
Yes. So I went to a funeral years ago, a young 20 something year old that was killed in a
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car accident. And as we left the funeral, they played that song. And it's always stuck
24:46
with me. And that is actually I think I haven't done it yet. But I think that's gonna be the
24:50
theme song for this podcast. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, it's just almost bring tears. It's like,
24:55
you know, it's just Well, I appreciate all that you said, I've taken notes, and I'm probably
25:00
gonna have to go back and read transcripts of this one. But I always go back to the connection
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to my dad. And you obviously never met my dad, because I think I asked you before you
25:08
got interested. But so many things you said. So first, you're starting a church in a school.
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I don't know if you realize this, but St. Thomas of Beckett, the church that I grew
25:17
up in started at Lakey at elementary school, and then Isaac Newton Square, and my dad was
25:22
a part although, you know, not a pastor, but a part of the community. And it was rest in
25:28
the there was actually an organization of starting the Catholic Church in rest in because
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we used to go to Herndon, but they were instrumental in starting that. So that's a connection to
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my dad, all your connections and community and getting to know people and asking questions,
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I think is so much like my father, I actually have a couple friends of mine that said, you
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know, they had more conversations with my father than they ever did their own father,
25:54
which is sad, but my dad would ask hard questions. And he wasn't afraid to ask you those questions
26:00
and to get to know you. And I think you're a master at that also. So yeah, you're a younger
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version of me and my dad. I hear about him all the I feel like I know him because I hear
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about the time and connections. And I'm just so grateful for his influence, not just on
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rest in but frankly on the world. Yeah, I think he has done a lot to change and connect
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and hopefully I will pass on that legacy. So Leslie, how do people get in touch with
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you, Tim? Where where can they find you? And I will share the show notes too. Yeah, sure.
26:31
I'm currently the pastor at Crossroads, UMC and Ashburn, which is a beautiful, amazing
26:36
community of unlimited welcome, where it doesn't matter what your story is, what your history
26:40
is, what your background is, we'd love to meet you and connect with you. You can reach
26:44
me go to our website, Crossroadsnova.org. You'll see me there. My email address is on there
26:49
too. And I would love to take you for a cup of coffee and hear your story and connect
26:54
with you. Well, thank you again for sharing with us about what courage means to you. You
26:59
can find the Why Not Today podcast on Spotify, iTunes, I think we're on Google, all those
27:05
places. We are working on the website. We do have fun Why Not Today gear. We have t shirts
27:09
and cups and vinyls to share the message to say why not today. So thanks again for listening.
27:14
Thanks, Tim, for being here. And we will be here again in two weeks. Awesome. Thanks,
27:21
Tim. Thank you.