Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / Everyday Heroes Interview Series Episode 6: Want to buy a timeshare? Just ask Constance.

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Everyday Heroes Interview Series Episode 6: Want to buy a timeshare? Just ask Constance. · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, hey everybody.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to another exciting episode of the Steve and Jeff Podcast Experience.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: Or wait, it's the Steve and Jeff Experience Podcast.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Steve.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm Jeff.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: And hey, you know, we are about to embark on something that I think is going to make us even more famous than we are now.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: And and you know, we're we're doing pretty well.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: We're doing pretty well, Jeff.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: We're chasing that guy.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you know the guy.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, right?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: We're chasing him.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: We're we're we're getting new sponsors.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: We got a new sponsor tonight.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I tell you what, we are about to embark on something that I think is going to be a watershed moment, a very dry watershed moment, but a watershed moment for us.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think that uh speaking of watersheds, you know I got a new nose.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it looks wonderful, Jeff.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Now, can the listeners at home hey, bring the camera in so the listeners at home can see his new nose?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's beautiful.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you might need a couple, you still might need a couple cameras to get the full view.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: But Steve, it's changed my life.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: I am so much happier now, and I'm just seeing the world so differently now, mostly because the nose is blocking my vision.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, before so now I can see I can see almost everything.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: And to be honest with you, I'm shocked.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: I I really had no idea who I was talking to half the time.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: And uh so I'm completely I'm just a new person.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I I tell you, Ross, it's it's just one of those things where I just couldn't be happier.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I think Jennifer's happier too.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think in the long run, Jennifer Aniston must be as happy as I am to have given me that gift.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like you know, sell me that gift.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: I think she always struck me, and granted, I only know her from the friends reruns, okay, but she always struck me as a very giving, caring person.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: And so I bet she is extremely happy that you now have her nose, and um, you know, she's not using them much, so why not?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm looking forward to um other surgeries in the future because you know, Steve, I got a list, and I've got a lisp.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: You can have the list removed, I think, as one of the surgeries.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: There's many things, and you know the best part, Steve, is you know how self-improvement takes a lot of effort.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: This doesn't.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, surgery, right?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: You just lay there, you lay there, and they give you drugs, right?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: They give you drugs.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, Steve, I I died and ended up on friends, and uh and I I just couldn't be happier.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: So, Steve, I I I feel like a new person, and I'm I'm just so looking forward to what uh the future has in store for us.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff, I can just tell you that my favorite episode was the one where you quit the coffee shop.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: I just really love that one.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that was that was my favorite, but but I digress, but but but Jeff, you know, in addition to your new notes, we have something so exciting.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: We are about to turn a page with this podcast, even though it's not in print, but we're about to turn an audio page, if you will.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: Where yeah, you know, I was reading, and this that was in print what I was reading.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: I was reading that some of the really successful podcasts talk about things like making money and travel, and and those are really popular topics.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: So I've got a guest tonight that is gonna bring us into that whole world, and is really this is gonna really turn our podcast, Jeff.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I can't wait.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: And do you want to do the intro?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm I'm at the edge of my seat.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I now this this is we've brought into our studio as you can I and now with your new nose, I bet you can see clearly through the glass there.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: She's just the other side of the glass, right?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: See, and and we have in our studios tonight Constance from ISU travel.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: Constance, how are you?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: Good.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: I was hoping you'd say that, Constance.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that is that is so good to hear.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: And now, Constance, uh, tell us a little bit about what you do in in the travel world.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: In in your it that must be exciting.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: You get to go to exotic places, you get to experience new things.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: Tell us about that.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: The new things, or uh can we get down to business?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: I you know, see Jeff, see, this is why we're already we are this is why we're turning the page.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, Constance.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get down to business.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get down to business.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and what business, what business is that, Constance?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I sell timeshares, the best thing you could ever buy for your money in your life, and after life.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've heard your holy life and after that.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: I've heard that a lot of people who buy timeshares later become millionaires.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: Is that true?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: All of them.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: There is not one single person that doesn't make it.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know for a fact because I have sold a thousand, ten thousand of these with all satisfied customers, the ones that are still here.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, you know what's it what's interesting about this is I Steve gave me a little heads up as to what the topic was, and I wrote it down, but instead of timeshare, I wrote time travel.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, if you're if you know anything about Steve, Steve's been a traveler his whole life, and I'm just wondering if timeshares and in the future, and maybe Steve, this is something you give us a little insight on.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Are they gonna be different?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Are they are they you know, are they in different locations?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: I I give me give me a little if you can't, just a little peek.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Expand and expand all the time, all the time.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can go to any fucking place in the world you want to, anywhere.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can go to Venus if you want to.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: We sell everything.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: I sell real estate.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: You, both of you, could have one tenth of tenth percent of owning your own luxury property.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, is that not fantastic?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll own it forever.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, your family will inherit it.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: No big deal.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and we'll never get rid of it because you know we can't, of course.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: But so let me tell you, I'd like to sell you one of those.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think that both of you could benefit from one of these, and your podcast would be so much riper and so much brighter, and you'd have so much more worldly things to offer people.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if we were property owners, biennial, would you like a fractional one?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Would you like a lock-off?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Would you like a floating week?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: There's all types of them.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you know, you know, Constance, I I I think, you know, as Jeff had mentioned, I I I actually I don't know if you you knew this because I only know Constance.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: I just kind of met her recently.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_02: I saw an ad, and you know, I thought, hey, you know, real estate, cool.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I'm actually from the future, Constance.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so the concept when I read that it she said time share.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that that really struck a note with me because in a way I'm sharing time with the past and the future.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm kind of a timesharer, if you will.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so I thought, well, what better way than to get into a timeshare?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I it just it just makes sense totally to me.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Go ahead, go ahead, keep fucking interrupting me.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't come here because I wanted to.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: See, it was uh some of the timeshare companies companies are are a little rough on their employees, so you know she's she's a little I'm not rough.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: I meant your boss was a little rough maybe on on you guys, but but you know he just said you gotta be there.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, fuck him too.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: So so constant be there.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna think about that one for a minute.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway, Jeff, Jeff, you were saying yeah, before before I commit, and I'm gonna commit because oh yeah, I I like your style.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and to me, everything what you offer that's different than a lot of other salespeople is you're you're one of what we call a compassionate salesperson.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're not this hardcore abrasive heavy hitter at all.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: You're this you know you know, you just appeal to the good parts of all of us, and and I really like that.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: But let me let me ask you this one question.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: So, now in terms of buying these timeshares, I've put all my money in those collectible pennies and coins that you can get.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think you see those commercials at around two in the morning.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I've got a lot of those, and I'm just wondering, can I use those with my timeshare or am I gonna have to um liquidate those and and have real money?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: Now you mean you mean those commemoratives that have like uh Glenn Campbell's face on the penny?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_02: So valuable, Steve.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Those are, I'll tell you, those are really good.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know how valuable they are, they cost thousands of dollars.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: They do that's how fucking talk or not.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, thank you, because I am a very, very compassionate person.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you can tell she cares.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: She cares, obviously.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so ask me your question.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Get on with it.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: She she cares, but she she didn't care enough to actually get to your question, Jeff.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: I do really, really, really care.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: She does.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: You can tell.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I that that that's sincere.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_02: Look at that face.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's sincere.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, folks at home, watch look at that face, you know.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, though I think I think what Jeff was getting at is you know, can he what can he expect from a timeshare?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: Could we could we go to exotic places like uh uh like East Peoria, uh Pocoima?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, do you have do you have timeshares that go places like that?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I think that I told you earlier that we have timeshares everywhere, including Venus, including the past, including the present, including anything you can imagine that even hasn't happened, can happen with the timeshare.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you will love it.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, certainly, there's all kinds of ways to own, there's all kinds of places to go, and frankly, we really don't care where you go.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, Jeff, I'm I'm thinking maybe I'd get a get a uh a timeshare in the future so that I'd start paying now and then I'd get a timeshare for maybe like 200 years from now, and then it'd be paid off by the time I get there.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: That's a really good idea.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm like I like I said, I have never been so juiced by a person, by a guest, by uh, you know, she's uh she's wonderful.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're at Constance, you're absolutely amazing.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: And and for some in one way or another, you've just charmed the crap out of me.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: So uh I'm sold.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: Now I I I gotta ask you, Constance.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh ISU travel.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: What does ISU stand for?
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: Is that Illinois State University?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we're both Illinois guys here.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if I should say that.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, shouldn't say Illinois State University?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's it's not exactly a university.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of my motto.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's ISU.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, I screw you.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh that nice.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that I I thought of that saying by myself, and they took it.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: They love that name.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Did they then again?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone loves me.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: Did they pay you for it though?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, did they buy it from you or did they just take it?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: I sell everything.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Ah I give nothing away.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: This is why she's gonna turn our podcast around, Jeff.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: You just I like it.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_02: This is this is where it's it's we are going.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: We're it's like you know, when the plane is it's like it's starts going fast on the runway, and then it you feel it like that little first hitting off the ground.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're getting off the ground, Jeff.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's go, let's go, let's go.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Time, time, time.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: Share, share.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm share, yes.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Get on with it.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, so if say, like if we wanted, say if Jeff and I wanted to do a timeshare, could we do like alternate weeks where like Jeff would go one week and I'd go another week, and then Jeff would go back the third week and I'd go back the fourth week.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, that sounds kind of cool.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Get a fractional, you can get fractional ownership, and then you can do that.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or I do with my car right now.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then you could pick a week each each year and switch them off.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Very simple.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that sound easy and fine?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: Not only is it easy, but Steve, I don't know why, but I'm thinking of everything in terms of situation comedies now.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know where that comes from, but you and I you and I getting the wrong weeks, the weeks mixed up and the oh yeah, mix-ups where we end up on at the same time in the same house.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: And see, that would be that would be more of a Seinfeld event.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: So I'd have to get like the Seinfeld face off.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's called a lockout.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'd want to get the old Seinfeld face, though, not the new one.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: Not uh not the golf player guy with guitars, you know.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'd want the old guy, the guy that was the starving comic.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: That was a good face.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: I want that one.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: I want to hear some more.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: I I came here because of me.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can talk about me, and all I'm hearing is you, you, you, you.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to buy a damn timeshare or not?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Am I wasting my fucking time here because you're blowing a chance of a lifetime to do that?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad she finished that sounds like property and you put everywhere.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: Not yet.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you see Mary.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: I thought we were gonna be in trouble with the is it the FCC or the F the F U the F U C C I think.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: The F U C or the F U C Yeah, yeah, FUCC.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the F U C C.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, you Jeff, you can tell she cares.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that it's just that it just caring is all over.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_02: She really cares about her people.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you could, I mean, I know that.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: You can tell.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: You can tell that's deep, it's kind of creepy because she reminds me of most of my relatives.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and uh, you know, I have a couple aunts exactly the same.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: And god, I love you know, they're the best.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not old enough to be your freaking aunt.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what an insult! You're insulting me on my own thing.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: Reminds me of a girl I dated in college.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: She I she might not be old enough to do that either, but uh, didn't it?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't I don't want to get into a combative situation, but my aunts got married at a very young age, so they you know they had their first kids at you know nine, ten years old.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, they're pretty young too.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: So they were pretty stupid, weren't they?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: You're from you're from I didn't know you're from Arkansas, really?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Are you uh just visited with well my aunts live there?
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um they actually bought um a timeshare in Arkansas, in Arkansas, yeah.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, worked out really well for them.
• 14:29
  unknown: Yes.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, so you know the nice thing about timeshare too, though, is if if we get tired of going to say East Peoria, which I you know, how would we?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: But let's say we did.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it could happen, right?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: Let's say we did, then we could maybe say, Hey, I want to take my week in East Peoria, and I don't want to go to East Peoria this year, I want to go to you know, Fort Smith, Arkansas.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: I want to go to West Peoria or Fort Smith, Arkansas.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_02: I want to go visit Jeff's relatives, you know.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: Probably not, yes, and and we could do that, right?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: Couldn't we do that, Constance?
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_02: Probably not.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, ooh so so East Peoria it is then, right?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: What you get is what you get, and you get it, and you'll love it.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And can you exchange a few things?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but it's usually in bed.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, you know, East Peoria does have the best steak and shake in central Illinois, so there is that going for it.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: Right by the bridge there, it's really kind of pretty too.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, I don't make any money off those.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: I want to sell you someplace like Venus, Mars.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, maybe the future, maybe the future.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like let's get a let's get a you know, Jeff.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: What's with the future?
• 15:41
  unknown: Huh?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, no, that's that's that's my home.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm from there.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well, why are you Constance?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Can I just can I just I'm just spitballing here, Steve?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: We haven't talked about this, but yeah, Constance.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: I I think you're wasting your time selling timeshares.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: I think you should work for us in a PR position.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think that you know, Steve, I think this is what we've been missing that human touch, that somebody who can really influence people and uh knows how to whine and dine, you know, someone who has sales chops, and she constantly clearly oh, she's got the she's got the chops.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: I could be phony anytime you want.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: And she could promote anything.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: She promote our podcast a piece of dirt.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: She could she could get ads for our podcast, she could promote listeners.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm yeah, Jeff, I'm liking this.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm liking this, and you know, she sells timeshares now, so we probably wouldn't have to pay her that much, you know what I mean?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, this is kind of good, you know.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: Not only that, but Constance.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh since my surgery, I've got some really good drugs that might kind of round yeah, round off his personality a little bit, might make it just like you know, give you a little different perspective.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, and drugs.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you did, yeah.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: I got better drugs than you do.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't know.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know because you're really hired.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Can you start tomorrow?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: You think I get all these stupid people to buy these damn oops, you know, you know though, Constance.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know because I bought I bought that Twilight package from Dr.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: Reinerstein, and uh, I gotta tell you, it's pretty darn good.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't think it's a whole lot better than that, man.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, I did that too.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, geez, what other doctor could he be?
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: He's the doctor that did Jeff's nose, you know, and and he might he might lengthen Jeff's ankles, and I I might get Jerry Seinfeld's face.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: We're just we're still talking, we're still negotiating.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: What the fuck am I here for?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody at the door for about 10 more minutes, I think.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, if I'm a time, share.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'll give you both a biennial one.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: It means you can use it every other year, or I can give you that floating week where you can do it every other week or year.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: We can exchange it, we can do intervals, we can do conversions, I can get you to anything.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: Intervals, you know.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: I die.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not so good with math, Jeff.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I could do the intervals, you know.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I'm with you.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm always a verbal kind of guy, you know.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: So I I don't know.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: But I can count your money, you know.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff, speaking of money, we gotta take a quick little side side note here because Jeff, we got a new sponsor.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: We got a new sponsor, and uh it's it's a it's this restaurant here in town, and you know, they they have you know that that Vietnamese soup, it's spelled PHO.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: It looks like you pronounce it faux, yeah, right?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I I thought it was pronounced faux.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like you remember like like Mo's faux?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: You remember that that place we used to go in Chicago?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: Moes foe.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: They had great great bagels, yeah.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Moses Ford Forstein, you know, most fo well, no, but it it's actually pronounced fa.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I didn't know that.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: See, I learned something interesting that when I was talking to them, I kept saying fo.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: They go, No, it's fa, fa, fa.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay, well, yay, you know, you learn something all the time.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: So, so they they bought a spot on their show.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: So, uh, hey, listen, let's uh let's let's play that commercial now because I am really excited to have this new sponsor.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Can't believe it.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: If you want the best Vietnamese fa soup in the metro area, try some hearty fa at the King of Asian Fusion, Fa King.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: Bring your friends and enjoy the Fa King ambience.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: Or if you're in a hurry, you can take some home from our special Fa King drive-thru.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: Serve your whole family with a Fa King kettle, or spoil yourself with our individual serving fuck-ups.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: Our loyal customers often have a fuck up at home, a fuck up in the car, or even a fuck up at work.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_02: Wherever you go, you can have a fuck-up of your very own.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: And we're more than just pho and fucking, we also have fucking barbecue, fa king salads, and fucking sandwiches.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: Everything we serve is made with our own special fa king love and care.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: Join our king and queen club and we will treat you like Fa King royalty.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: You haven't had pho until you've had Fa King Fa.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's not just good, it's Fucking good.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Jeff, I don't know about you, but that makes me want to get some hot Vietnamese soup.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: I agree with you from some hot Vietnamese.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, yeah, and and oh, and you should see who works there.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, let me tell you, yes.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, they got some very hot Vietnamese.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: Some of them I think are Lay Ocean, but you know, it's close.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, yeah, you know.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: Speaking of uh Lay Ocean, um, are some of these timeshares in LA and like on the beach?
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm uh that's an area that I I've always wanted to visit, Steve.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, the beaches in Peoria and Omaha and Chicago, they're not that good, you know.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, but uh talking to me, yes, Constance.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Me now?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: I thought you were never gonna finish shattering.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it's you know, it's a podcast wherever you want.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: We we talk, you know, that's that's a podcast.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know when you're done.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: If it was a cartoon, we'd be drawing, see, but that it's we can't because nobody sees it.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's a I know podcast.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's so much fun, right?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: But but constance, can we uh like Jeff was asking about beach beach time shares like uh Southern California, beach time shares.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can lie on that beach anytime you want.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, seriously.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, but you want and but is there a time share stream and you can go to Minnesota and and camp by a swamp.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, but but is there a time of mosquitoes for free?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: I could go lay there, but it is there a timeshare there, or am I just laying there?
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you can lie there if you want.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can sleep in a luxury resort for only a little tiny bit of money.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Just a tiny bit.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: It won't cost you a thing.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said, you own it forever.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's all and when it's not yours, it's your relatives.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Whoever you leave your things to, your timeshare's always gonna be with you.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Always.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't you people understand?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, for somebody from the future, something that you always have with you, that that really means a lot.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: Because I could live in this thing for hundreds of years, you know.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: I mean past deaths.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Truly.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Past lives, all included.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, which one do you want to pick?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Or am I freaking fucking wasting my time again?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm getting really irritated with you guys.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Every time I talk, you interrupt, you invited me here.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: So so now this past lives thing is kind of interesting.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: So if, like, say in a if in a past life I was, oh, I don't know, let's just say I was a French street walker in a past life.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: I thought you were gonna say French whore.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: So I could go there as as this French whore.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: Wouldn't it be fun?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: Wouldn't you like that, you little horny thing?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: You well, let's say maybe in a previous life I was a 65 impala.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh gosh, I shouldn't have said that.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: It got me going again.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you can you can run all over the place.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: I could drive right in to Daytona Beach and hang out with the string bikinis.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, yeah, string bikini and a 65 impala.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, Jeff.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm I don't know about you.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: I my checkbook is starting to open.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it should.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it should.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: You can own it together forever and ever and ever and ever.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: Would there would there be tax advantages if we buy it as the podcast?
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's plenty of taxes on it.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's plenty of fees.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: Man, you'll be paying that forever too.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that sounds really advantageous.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's that's really good.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: Everything, fees all the time, every month.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah, it's wonderful.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone loves like Constance fees, haha.
• 24:21
  unknown: Yes.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, ah, now you got me.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so you know, I don't want to sound paranoid, but ever since Steve and I become famous, you know, there's no other word for it, is famous.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean facts are facts, right?
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I feel like we need to make sure that the guests are above board, and I think that's why we chose the timeshare salesperson because you can trust those people.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: But in general, I'm very trustworthy.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, but in general, I'm very, very trustworthy.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so so I guess my question is we want people who have not been on other shows or have been recommended to us from other shows.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: So have you been on other podcasts with I don't know, other celebrities?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: No names, but yeah, no names, no names, but uh, you know, somebody fairly famous, or is this an exclusive for Steve and I?
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Are you kidding me?
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: I've been everywhere, everyone loves me because I'm fantastic at what I do and I'm so compassionate, just like you said.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: So sorry, but I don't cheat and tell.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe she's been on the podcast of that MMA fighter comedian that we're gonna make more money than.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, ooh.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe where her working for us isn't that good an idea, Jeff.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: But I digress.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: I've never met the guy, never met him, never talked to him.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I feel better.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: I am okay, me too.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: I feel better.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I'm good.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, dodge the bullet there.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's all I needed.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, sure.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: All right, we're good.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: How could you get any better than me?
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can be soft, and I can be loud, and I can be nice, or I can be pushy and me.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: But overall, I'm a wonderful, wonderful person, and everyone loves me.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: Constantly I have everything.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: How would you describe your personality on this show among the things you listed?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is this one of those sensitive sides of you, or would you say this is more uh more assertive?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, because I like it.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: I I just I'm wondering where you put this, what category you put this this part of your personality under.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, now that you mentioned that, I think I have many sides, just like other people.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think multiple personalities, but when it comes to selling to you, I'm gonna fucking shove it up your ass.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: Does that explain it?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: Do we have to sign up with with one part of your personality?
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: What the hell are you guys doing?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, go on, Steve.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: I think I think Sybil, I mean, I mean Constance uh really I think said it very well that she could go either hard or soft.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'm a very soft person, and when I'm soft, I'm really, really, really soft.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking like ivory snow, right?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm a downy, I'm a downy person.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Can't you tell?
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that guy, Robert Downey.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, yeah, as many minutes as you won't interrupt me.
• 27:33
  unknown: Damn.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: Now, see, that's see, well, yeah, that's the nature of a podcast, Constance.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: We're just you know, it's an interrupting thing.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's uh you know, that's that's that's why that MMA guy is doing so well, because he just jumps in and just keeps saying stuff, you know.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: Well, he's fucking rude too.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I like her.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, all right, now now we're talking.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: Now we're talking, yes.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he's he's fucking asshole.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because you know, because you know, Constance, we're too classy to criticize competition, but our guests can.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: So feel feel free to tee off on uh anybody, any any Joe Blow that you want to.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: Feel free to tell us what you really think.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: And uh he really screwed me.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: There are people that just don't appreciate things in this world, and I'll never fuck with him again.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, okay.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I'd ever want to be in that position with you.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: But no, you might.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't take anything unless it's lying down.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's okay.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's a reasonable position, I think.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it is a reasonable position.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's very fair on anything.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: You want a vacation home?
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: We can work it out, guys.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: Then I gotta lie down, right?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you wanna sell stuff?
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I can promote your podcast because I can be anyone.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: I can be sweet or I can bite you in the face.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: Does that explain?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, don't don't bite Jeff's nose, man.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_02: That was an expensive nose.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: You just got it.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: Gosh, oh gosh, it's brand new.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_02: Don't don't don't bite the nose.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: Are you Jewish?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was now I guess am I still Steve after the surgery?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'd have to check down below because there was a lot of work done.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'll check for you.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, rip those pants.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'll check.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: I can say Jewish because I'm Jewish.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh and schmutzel.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I think I had some of that last time we were at Mo's Foe, you know?
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you love the foe there?
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I do.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh well, it's pha, but it really should be Mo's Fa, but it should be Maz Fa, maybe.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_02: But Moe's not gonna change his name.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, yes.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: Mo's foe.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's you know he'll never have a name like me, ever.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: So who cares?
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he doesn't own his timeshare, so actually, he's nothing, nothing in my world.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, good bagels.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: No, those bagels are good.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: Those bagels are.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: I know I can grab.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you guys are stupid.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: I know I can grab you.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, as this has been a lot of fun, but we are just about to run out of time.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_02: And listen, Constance, I want to thank you for coming here.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_02: And and uh gosh, you it sure was great.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: And we will talk to you about future employment at Jeff.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: We will be see, see, I like that.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: But I think we have Jeff, we'll be back next week with a really exciting guest.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to reveal too much, but you know that guy we've been chasing?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_02: I think we got him.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_02: I think we got him.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_02: That would be exciting.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_02: We'll talk more next week.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: But hey, Costus, thank you, thank you again for coming in.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: And uh wait the goddamn time.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, anyway, yeah, we enjoyed it too.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_02: Glad to do it.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.