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The Art of Discernment | Sacred Men · Sacred Men

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Welcome back men to the Sacred Men YouTube channel.
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This channel exists to encourage, teach and train men
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to be strong and virtuous and a weak in degenerate culture.
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I'm your host, Pastor Justin Dean, and we've been talking a
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lot this year about becoming builders, Christian men who are
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building marriages, building families, and building
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businesses and churches that honor God.
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And today we're diving into a topic that might just be the
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most practical skill. You never knew you needed
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discernment. Now you may be thinking, what
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the heck is discernment? We don't use that word very
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often. And you might think, isn't that
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just a fancy word for making decisions?
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Well, yes and no. Discernment is about making
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decision, but it's so much deeper than that.
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It's about developing the spiritual wisdom to distinguish
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between good and evil, between what's what's merely good and
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what's best, between the voices clamoring for your attention and
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the still small voice of God. So whether you're deciding which
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job to take, how to handle a difficult situation with your
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wife or your kids, whether to expand your business, or how to
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discipline your kids, discernment is essential.
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And here's the thing. Our culture is actively working
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against your ability to discern truth from lies, right?
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We are drowning in information but starving for wisdom.
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We are drowning in propaganda, trying to hook our emotions and
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get us to react to certain things instead of responding in
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sober mindedness. So today we're going to go, of
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course, back to the source, back to the scriptures.
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We're going to explore what Scripture teaches about
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discernment, how the Reformed tradition has understood it, and
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most importantly, how you can develop this crucial skill in
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your life. So let's start with the
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foundation. What exactly is discernment?
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Well, the Hebrew word for discernment in the Old Testament
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is BIYNI. Don't know how to say that, so
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I'm not going to try. Which means to separate, to
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distinguish, to understand. So in order to discern
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something, you have to be able to separate good, evil, bad,
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good, etcetera, right, In order to understand it.
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It's used over 170 times in the Old Testament.
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Now, in the New Testament, the Greek word is diachrysis, which
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carries the idea of judging right, making judgments, making
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right judgments, discerning between things, distinguishing
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between things. So at its core, discernment is
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the ability to make distinctions, to be able to
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separate truth from error, wisdom from folly, God's will
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from your own desires, good from evil, right.
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So here's where it gets interesting.
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Biblical discernment isn't just intellectual analysis.
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It's far more than just your IQ score.
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It's not simply weighing pros and cons on a spreadsheet.
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It is a spiritual capacity. Hear that?
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It's a spiritual capacity that God gives to his people through
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his Word and through his Spirit. But it's also something we can
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grow in and we must grow in. Listen to what King Solomon
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prays in First Kings 39. He says praying to God.
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Give your servant, therefore an understanding mind to govern
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your people, that I may discern between good and evil.
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For who is able to govern this? Your great people?
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First Kings 39 Now when Solomon here, he's he's rising to the
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throne of his father and he's becoming king and he goes to
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God. He doesn't ask like most kings
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would. He doesn't ask for wealth.
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He didn't ask for military victory.
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He didn't ask for his Kingdom just to be expanded, you know,
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and and him grow in power. He asked specifically for
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discernment. And God was so pleased with this
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request that he gave Solomon not only wisdom, but also the things
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he didn't ask for, right? He got the success, he got the
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wealth, he got all the stuff that came with it.
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Why? Because discernment is the
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foundation for everything else. If you can discern and make wise
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decisions, and you can spiritually discern between
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something that's, ah, it's kind of good and and what's best or
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bad and evil, right, right and wrong, you can discern you.
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You more than likely you'll succeed.
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You'll grow. Things will get better, not
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always, but most of the time. But without discernment, you
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will misuse wealth, you will miss apply power, and you will
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miss manage relationships. The writer of Hebrews puts it
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this way in chapter 5, verses 13 and 14.
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For everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of
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righteousness, since he's a child.
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So children drink milk in this sense.
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Like, you know, mama's milk, right?
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That's their diet. Their diet consists on milk.
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But solid food is for the mature, for those who have had
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their powers of discernment, trained by constant practice to
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distinguish good from evil. So he's saying growing up, being
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mature, right, Being able to eat solid food.
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We, we say at our church that there's two types of churches.
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There's milk churches that live on the milk of the word.
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And there's meat churches, right, that can chew on the
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richness of the word. But notice what he says in here.
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He says this is how you know you're mature.
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OK. For those who have have their
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powers of discernment, trained by constant practice to
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distinguish good from evil, notice that phrase trained by
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constant practice. This means discernment isn't
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something we're born with, right?
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You got to grow up into it. It's not a one time spiritual
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download. You just go to God and it just
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falls right on top of you. It is a gift of the Spirit that
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comes with believing the gospel and being Christians, but it's
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also a skill that must be developed through consistent
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intentional practice in the Word of God and in prayer.
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OK, now let's talk about how the Reformed tradition has
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understood understood discernment, because this is
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rich territory. The Reformers were deeply
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concerned with discernment because they were living in a in
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a time when the church had strayed from biblical truth,
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right? The traditions of men and
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biblical truth were kind of being put together and
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traditions of men were outweighing biblical truth in a
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lot of ways. So they had to look at their
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life. They had to look at the church,
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they had to look at the culture, they had to look at the
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situation. And they had to discern between
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centuries of tradition and the clear teaching of Scripture,
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right? Sola scriptura.
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Now, this wasn't just, you know, an academic exercise for them.
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People's eternal souls were at stake, right?
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The church was at stake. People's souls were at stake.
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It had, it had high consequences.
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So John Calvin, when he's writing in his Institutes of the
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Christian Religion, he writes extensively about the
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relationship between Scripture, the Holy Spirit, and
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discernment. Calvin argued that the Spirit
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works through the word to give believers the capacity to
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recognize truth. Right.
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So if you don't have the Holy Spirit, you are going to be
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limited in your understanding of Scripture.
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You're going to be limited in your understanding of it, your
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ability to apply it, and your ability to grow in discernment.
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He says the Holy Spirit, when he comes inside of us, he becomes
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an, in his words, an internal teacher who illuminates our mind
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to understand Scripture rightly. He says this quote, unless the
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Spirit of wisdom is present, having God's word in our hands
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will avail little or nothing for its meaning will not be apparent
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to us. He illustrates this with an
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analogy. He says gold is tested by fire,
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but this can only be done by those who understand how to do
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it for neither the for the fire can be of no use to anyone who
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does not have the skill. So if you want to pure purify
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gold, you can't just take that thing and throw it in your
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fireplace and expect it's going to be, it's going to come out
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more pure. You actually have to have the
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skill to be able to put that gold in a furnace and purify it,
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right? While this is crucial for us
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today, we don't discern truth by gut feelings or what seems right
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to us. We discern truth by submitting
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our minds to the authoritative Word of God illuminated by the
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Holy Spirit. So we need the Spirit.
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So we ask for the Spirit, right? And the Spirit comes into us
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when we're regenerated. And then we go to the Word of
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God to find the truth there. And we ask the Spirit to open
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our eyes and open our hearts to see the Word, to understand the
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Word, and to apply the Word to our life.
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The Westminster Confession of Faith, one of the great Reformed
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confessional documents, states in chapter one that Scripture
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is, quote, the supreme judge, by which all controversies of
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religion hard to be determined. In other words, when you're
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trying to discern God's will in whatever situation it is,
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whether it's in your marriage or your business or your personal
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life, Scripture is your ultimate authority.
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But this is where many men get tripped up.
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They think that because Scripture is sufficient, they
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don't need wisdom from others, right?
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Oh, I've got the Spirit in me and I've got the Bible, and so I
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don't need anything else. Well, that's not what the
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Reformed tradition teaches. That's not what Scripture
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teaches. The Reformers valued the
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collective wisdom of the church. They they value the insights of
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pastors, of godly counselors, and of course, the importance of
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the Christian community. Proverbs 11/14 says where there
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is no guidance, people fall. But in an abundance of
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counselors there is safety, right?
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So discernment, we learn discernment by reading the
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Bible, by understanding the Bible through the power of the
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Holy Spirit, but also we learn discernment by being in
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community, not in isolation. So maybe I've never been through
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the situation before, but I watch my brother walk through
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the situation, right? And I'm giving him advice.
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He's and he's telling me his experience and I'm learning from
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this situation how to discern between good and evil, right and
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wrong in the in the midst of that situation.
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So if I'm ever in that situation, then I'll have the
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discernment to know what's what's right.
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So how does this work practically?
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Let me give you a framework for developing discernment in the
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areas that matter most to you, your marriage, your family, and
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your business. First, let's talk about
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marriage. Here's a hard truth.
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Many of us have terrible discernment when it comes to our
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wives. We miss her cues that she's
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throwing out. We miss Reed situations.
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We don't understand her emotional response, where it's
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coming from, what it actually means.
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We make unilateral decisions that that affect the entire
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family without seeking her input.
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And then we wonder what's wrong with her?
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You know, like, why is there conflict?
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Why is she mad? Well, discernment in marriage
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starts with one fundamental principle.
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Your wife is your helpmate from God.
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She's your ally. She's your partner.
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She's bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.
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When you're trying to discern God's will for your family, you
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are the leader. But you need to be listening to
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your helpmate. You need to be listening to her.
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God has made her fundamentally different from you, and because
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of that, she's going to have a fundamentally different
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perspective on almost every situation that you don't have.
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Now, we're both obeying Scripture, We're both listening
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to the Spirit, but he's made us differently.
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So she's going to pick up on emotional things that you might
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not be aware of. She's going to be picking up on
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concerns that might not even be in your, your, your line of
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sight. Now, I'm not saying that she's
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smarter than you. I'm definitely not saying she's
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more spiritual than you. No, she's just different from
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you and God made her that way. She's going to pick up on things
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that you miss, and her perspective is going to help you
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have discernment and make wiser decisions.
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Now, does this mean that you just abdicate your
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responsibility and your leadership to her?
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Absolutely not. But biblical leadership doesn't
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mean making decisions in a vacuum.
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You just go to your room with your Bible and you come out like
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Moses off of Mount Sinai and you tell her, and you tell the
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family where you're going and what you're doing.
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Now. Discernment means we have to
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gather wisdom, we have to seek counsel, and then we have to
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take responsibility for the direction we set.
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So yes, I'm going to go to Scripture.
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I'm going to hear from the Lord. I'm going to listen to the
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Spirit. I'm going to go get advice and
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counsel for my pastors, for my missional community leaders.
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I'm going to talk to my wife. I'm going to get her counsel,
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her insight, right? And then I'm going to bring it
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again to the Lord, and I'm going to make the decision.
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So here's a practical example. Let's say you're considering a
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job change that would require you to relocate your family.
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The salary is better, the opportunity seems great, but you
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present this to your wife and she's got some reservations.
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She doesn't feel quite right about it, right?
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Well, how do you discern God's will in this situation?
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First, you pray. And I'm not just talking about
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like, Lord, help me here, like, you know, show me what to do,
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but real prayer, a sustained, earnest prayer.
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You spend time in prayer with the Lord.
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James 15 says, if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God,
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who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be
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given to him. So go to God in prayer, ask him
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for wisdom, ask him for discernment.
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Second, you go to Scripture, right?
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Are there biblical principles that apply to the situation that
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I'm not thinking about, that I haven't concerned, that I
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haven't considered yet? What does God's Word say about
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providing for your family? What does it say about providing
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stability to your family? What does the Bible say about
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the dangers of riches and wealth and greed?
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What does the Bible say about considering others interests
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above your own? So thinking about your wife,
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thinking about your family, thinking about your extended
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family, right? Have you thought about, is there
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a good church in the new city that would help my that my
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family would fit in theologically and it would help
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us grow spiritually. I've met and talked with many
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men who are making these decisions about moving and
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taking new jobs. And they make the decision
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before they've even checked if there's a church there.
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Now at one time in America, you could drop down in any city in
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America and you could find a good church.
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Well, that's not, it's not that way anymore, right?
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So 3rd, you listen to your wife, you listen to her perspective
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you now many times when our wives are talking, we're just
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listening to her words and we're we're going to pick them apart,
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right? We're trying to pick them apart.
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When you're listening to your wife, you need to be listening
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to her words. But discernment starts right
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here, really with your wife. What is she trying to say?
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What's behind her words? What's her what's behind her
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emotions? Is she concerned about leaving
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your extended family? Is she concerned about leaving
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your current church or leaving your kids school?
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Right. You need to discern here, OK, is
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this my ambition? That's you know, is she
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concerned that that I'm making the decision because I want to
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move up in the company and I just want more money, right?
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So what we're saying there is she's not just nitpicking, you
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know, your your desire or your decisions.
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She's actually wondering what's motivating him to want to take
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this job, right? Is it his ambition?
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Is it or is it, or is it faithful stewardship, right?
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Her concerns might be God's way of giving you wisdom, right?
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She's going to say something and you shouldn't get defensive and
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argue. You should take that back to the
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Lord and say, OK, why do I want to take this job so much right?
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Am I valuing money and income and and moving up in the company
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above the spiritual good of my family of my own soul even and
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then 4th and you need to do these things. 4th you seek
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counsel from godly men who know you well.
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Now this is where a lot of times men screw up, right?
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They don't want to get godly counsel because they're worried
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about a man asking what's going on in your heart?
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Why do you want to do this? Have you, have you thought about
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this, this, this, and this? And then we look stupid, right?
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Or our sinful motives are exposed, right?
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Or our foolish plan is exposed. And so many men would rather go
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ahead and make the foolish decision and then figure it out
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when they get there and try to clean up the pieces when they
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get there. Then going to godly brothers to
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get counsel. And when you go to a godly
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brother, you want to make sure you're not going.
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So if you are prone towards the idol of success or the idol of
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money, you don't go to men who are prone to the idol of success
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or the idol of money. You don't go to yes men, right,
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who will tell you what you want to hear.
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You go to brothers who will ask you hard questions for your good
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and help you examine your motives.
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And then lastly, the last thing you do is you.
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You make a decision, right? You make a decision and you take
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full responsibility for it. That's the weight of headship.
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You don't get to blame your wife if it goes wrong.
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You don't get to say, well, God told me to do it.
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You exercise your best discernment, trusting God with
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the outcome. OK, now let's talk about family
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and raising kids because this is where discernment gets tested
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every single day. If you are a father, you know
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that parenting requires constant discernment.
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Every single child is different. I have 5 of them and they're all
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unique. Every situation is unique.
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The rules that work for one kid might backfire with another,
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right? So we need wisdom and we need
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discernment in parenting our children.
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Proverbs 22 six is a verse that's quoted a lot and it says
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train up a child in the way he should go.
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Even when he is old, he will not depart from it.
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Now that phrase in the way that he should go is interesting.
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It actually means two things. And most of the time people and
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pastors only focus on one thing. First, it means we have to train
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all of our children to, we have to raise them up and train them
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up in God's ways, right? In the ways that they should go
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that are outlined in Scripture. That is the blessed life, right?
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That they would obey their father and mother.
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So it would go well with them, that they would worship their
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God. They would love others, love
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himself. We could go on and on and on.
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Here most of us understand that interpretation, but it also
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means that we are to train them according to his way, right?
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Or their way according to their unique bent or disposition.
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Scripture tells us that God knows our frame.
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He knows how he knit us together and our mother's womb.
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He knows what makes us unique. He knows this type of
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communication will appeal to me and this type of communication
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will appeal to somebody else, right?
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And he contextualizes his word to us, right?
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And the and kind of the way he disciples us.
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Some people have to go through really hard things.
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Some people get a really blessed life and everything kind of goes
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smooth for them, right? In other words, God.
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I would say God practices discernment in dealing with us,
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right? He's all wise.
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He's all knowing. Well, we need that kind of
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discernment when it comes to parenting our children.
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We have to know our kids frame, their unique bent and
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disposition. You need to know their
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temperaments, their struggles, their gifts.
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You can't just apply A1 size fits all discipline or or expect
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them all to respond to your correction in the same way.
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Let me give you one example. One of your sons and daughter,
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they might need firm and direct correction.
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I was that type of person. I needed firm and direct
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correction. I have children that need and
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actually appreciate firm and direct correction.
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I can literally say don't do that.
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That's stupid and they get it right?
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This person usually respects strength and clear boundaries.
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You know, like hard nose, right? But another one of your child
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children might be more sensitive and they need a gentler
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approach. I have I have a child that if
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when I would speak the way that I would speak to one of my other
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children, they would melt immediately.
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Tears would begin to flow immediately.
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I jokingly gave her the nickname Marshmallow because she was so
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sensitive right now. What, what?
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What? I'm not saying here.
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I'm not saying that you compromise on the standard,
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right? God's Word doesn't change.
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You don't compromise on the standard, but it means you have
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to discern how to apply that standard in a way that reaches
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their heart, right? Ephesians 64 warns fathers not
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to provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the
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discipline, the pidaea and instruction of the Lord.
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Right? Provoking children to anger
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often happens when we lack discernment.
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I spoke to this child, they responded positively.
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I spoke the same way to this child.
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They responded poorly. Now, if you'd lack discernment,
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you're just going to say, oh, that's the child's fault.
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And sometimes it is the child's fault, right?
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Sometimes it is their, their sin, their rebellion.
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But sometimes it's because I'm not discerning.
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This child is different from this child.
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This child's frame and personality is different from
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this child. And then, you know, we're harsh
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when we should be gentle or we're too lenient where we we
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need to be firm, right? So here's another area where
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discernment is crucial. Technology and media.
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Simple questions here. What movies should your kids
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watch? What level of Internet access
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should they have? At what age?
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When should they get a smartphone?
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How much screen time should you allow them to have?
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Now there's no one-size-fits-all answer here that you can just
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apply. Now.
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I've got a 19 year old son all the way down to a 5 year old
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daughter. 5 kids spread across there.
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I can't have just one universal law for for all of them, right?
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I've got to be able to contextualize that and use
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discernment and for each child and their frame and how
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technology effects them and how their personality is and how
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their their proclivities to sin. I've got to do that.
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My son specifically was so we didn't, we didn't let him watch,
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you know, you know, we had limits on everything.
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He had limits on everything, but he would watch a movie and he
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wasn't he, he, you know, he just watched a movie, right?
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Didn't really influence him that much.
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But then I, when I started having daughters, my daughters
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would watch something, maybe something on Disney or
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something. I always call them, you know,
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like the the little girl shows, they're kind of sassy.
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And immediately they would start getting sassy, right?
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And there wasn't anything overtly sinful in these shows.
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They just were kind of sassy and back talking kid shows.
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But my daughters would reflect that, right?
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So, so when we saw that, we banned them, right?
25:53
We, we got them out and we said, no, you can't watch this show
25:55
anymore, at least at that age. We said, no, you can't do that
25:58
because you're being affected by it.
26:00
And one of the things I would do is if we were watching a movie
26:03
together as a family and there was a sassy girl on there, I
26:06
would be like, how do you like that girl?
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Oh, I can't stand her. She said, I'm like, oh, OK, OK.
26:12
Well, that's how you were acting yesterday, right?
26:15
And you're, I'm, I'm, I'm teaching them discernment.
26:18
You don't like it when you see it on a screen.
26:20
Well, your parents don't like it when they see you, right?
26:22
And you don't want to be that type of person.
26:26
So again, not A1 size fits all answer here.
26:31
How much screen time should they have?
26:33
My, you know, my kids had a limited screen time.
26:38
They couldn't have social media and they can't have social media
26:42
until my son turned 18. And I said, it's his choice.
26:45
And my, my son has developed a level of discernment where he
26:50
got on social media and then he got off, right?
26:52
And he gets on one, he gets off and he, he realizes he has
26:56
conversations with me about I was spending too much time on
26:58
it. I was getting sucked in and, and
27:00
I was just staring at my phone too much.
27:02
So I, so now he's, he's able to do it himself, right?
27:05
I don't have to apply that standard.
27:07
He can apply the standard to himself.
27:09
That's what we want. He's growing up in maturity, so
27:16
we need to know each one of our kids maturity levels.
27:21
We need to realize the cultural moment that they're in and the
27:25
specific temptations that they face when it comes to social
27:28
media. Boys are going to be more
27:30
tempted towards pornography and things like that.
27:34
We have to do our best to keep that away from them.
27:37
But girls and social media, they're going to be more prone
27:40
to suicidal empathy, like being steered to the left by their
27:46
emotions because they see, they hear crazy things on social
27:50
media and they, they're, they're being steered to the left,
27:53
right. Women have moved like 23 points
27:55
to the left because their social media algorithms are trained on
28:01
the sin of empathy, basically, right.
28:04
And so we've got to be really aware of, we got to be really
28:06
aware of that. And we've got to be able to
28:07
discern between boys and girls, between age groups, all of these
28:10
things. And this is important for us.
28:13
In order to do that, you have to be engaged, right?
28:19
You cannot discern from a distance.
28:21
You can't parent from the couch while your kids are in the room
28:25
with devices. Discernment requires presence,
28:28
attention, and involvement in each one of your kids life.
28:32
All right, now let's talk about business and vocation, because
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this is where many Christian men try to compartmentalize their
28:40
life. They think that there's this
28:43
sacred realm over here, church, family, personal devotions, and
28:46
there's a secular realm over here, work, business, making
28:49
money. But that is a false dichotomy,
28:52
right? Everything is laid bare before
28:54
the eyes to whom we must give account, right?
28:56
Everything is meant to be devoted to God, and that
29:00
includes work. Colossians 323 says whatever you
29:04
do, whatever you do, work heartily.
29:08
As for the Lord and not for men. So your business is sacred
29:13
ground. The decisions you make there
29:16
require discernment just as much as your your your decisions at
29:20
home. Now, in the Reformed tradition,
29:24
we talk about vocation that comes from the Latin root voca,
29:28
which means to call. And the idea was that God calls
29:32
all of us to specific work as a way of serving him and blessing
29:38
others. He's knit us together in our
29:39
mother's womb. He's given us temperament, He's
29:42
given us personality. He's given us certain gifts and
29:45
talents and spiritual gifts added to that.
29:48
And so where to use those gifts that God gave him gave us where
29:52
to use those gifts to serve him and to serve our family.
29:56
So your business isn't just about making money.
29:59
It's about stewardship. It's about service.
30:02
It's about cultivating God's creation, taking dominion.
30:07
But here's where discernment gets tricky in business.
30:11
Our culture worships success, growth and profit.
30:16
And those things are are obviously not wrong in
30:19
themselves, but they can easily become idols.
30:23
So how do you discern between faithful ambition and worldly
30:27
greed or selfish ambition? How do you discern between godly
30:32
growth and expansion and ego driven empire building?
30:37
How do you discern between providing for your family and
30:40
sacrificing your family on the altar of success?
30:44
Well, let me give you some diagnostic questions that can
30:46
help you discern. First, you got a decision coming
30:50
up. Ask yourself what is motivating
30:54
this decision? Is it genuine opportunity to
30:59
serve and create value or is it comparison with others?
31:04
He moved up. I want to move up.
31:05
He got that car. I want to get that car right.
31:07
Are you trying to prove something?
31:10
Jesus warns us in Luke 1215. Take care and be on your guard
31:15
against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in
31:20
the abundance of its of his possessions.
31:22
So we're to be on guard, right? We're to have discernment when
31:26
it comes that there's something in us that overly wants worldly
31:30
things and we want to compare ourselves with others.
31:33
We want to covet with what other people have, but our life does
31:36
not consist in the abundance of our possessions.
31:38
Obviously, we can't take anything with us when we leave
31:40
this life. Secondly, ask yourself, what
31:44
will this cost my family, right? A business opportunity might be
31:49
financially lucrative but relationally devastating.
31:54
I'm going to have to travel a ton.
31:55
I'm going to be gone a bunch of nights.
31:56
I won't be able to eat dinner with my family, right?
31:59
You need to count the full cost, First, Timothy 58 says.
32:03
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially
32:06
for members of his household, he is denied the faith and is worse
32:10
than an unbeliever provision here.
32:13
It's not just financial, right? We have to provide for our
32:17
family emotionally. We have to provide for them
32:20
spiritually, and we have to provide just literally
32:23
ourselves. We have to provide our physical
32:25
presence to our family, right? Next thing Third, have you
32:31
sought counsel? Right?
32:33
Proverbs 1522 says without counsel, plans fail, but with
32:37
many advisors they succeed. So again, do you have godly men
32:41
in your life who know your business and can speak into your
32:44
decisions, or are you only listening to people who share
32:48
your ambitions? That's a problem. 4th, have you
32:52
prayed about it? I don't mean just asking God to
32:54
bless what you're already doing or what you've already decided
32:57
to do. I mean genuinely seeking his
33:00
will, asking him God, if this is you, open this door and make it
33:04
clear to me, If it's not you, shut this door so I don't make a
33:08
bad decision, right? We have to be open to him
33:10
closing doors, being willing to walk away from that good
33:14
opportunity if he says no. Here's a principle from the
33:19
Puritans that's helped, helpful. They talked about discerning
33:25
God's will through the convergence of Word, spirit, and
33:31
Providence. OK, Word, spirit and Providence,
33:35
the Word of God gives you the biblical principles.
33:38
The Spirit gives you the inner conviction like, yes, I want to
33:43
do this. And sometimes that conviction is
33:44
no, I shouldn't do this. And it usually gives you peace
33:48
along with it. And then Providence.
33:51
This is how God orchestrates the outward circumstances, right?
33:55
He opens doors and he closes doors.
33:58
The periodist said when all three of those things align, you
34:01
can move forward with confidence, right?
34:04
And when they're in conflict, you need to wait and you need to
34:09
pray and you need to seek more clarity.
34:12
Right? Now, let me address one of the
34:15
biggest obstacles to discernment.
34:17
I'm just going to call it the noise, right?
34:20
The noise. We live in the most information
34:27
saturated generation in history. I there's the more propaganda
34:33
swirling around us than in history.
34:36
We are the most distracted generation in history.
34:39
Your phone buzzes constantly. Your e-mail never stops.
34:44
Your social media algorithms are designed to hijack your
34:47
attention. News cycles create constant
34:50
urgency. Everyone has an opinion about
34:53
everything, and they're all shouting at once.
34:55
How can you possibly develop discernment in this chaotic
35:02
environment? That's a question that I've been
35:05
asking myself a lot, right? With all the new stuff going on,
35:08
you've got Jeffrey Epstein, you've got the fraud in
35:13
Minneapolis, you've got the I stuff going on, you've got LGBTQ
35:17
stuff going on, you've got all of this stuff coming at us.
35:20
You got the school systems and, and, you know, world, world
35:25
events. You got wars around the world.
35:27
How in the world can I develop discernment when I've got so
35:31
much stuff coming at me at once? Well, the answer is you can't.
35:37
Sorry, you can't. Not without intentionality.
35:43
Psalm 4610 says be still and know that I am God.
35:49
Stillness is a prerequisite for discernment.
35:54
That means you need silence, you need solitude, you need
36:00
unhurried time. In God's Word, of course, Jesus
36:05
modeled this, Mark 135 says. And rising very early in the
36:10
morning while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a
36:13
desolate place. And there he prayed.
36:17
If the Son of God needed solitude and silence to discern
36:21
the Father's will, how much more do we, right?
36:24
How much more do we? So let me be blunt.
36:27
If you are not regularly unplugging, getting alone with
36:32
God, and spending unhurried time in Scripture and prayer, you
36:36
will not develop discernment. Or you'll be developing
36:40
discernment incredibly slowly. You're going to be tossed back
36:44
and forth by every wind of doctrine, every cultural trend,
36:47
every persuasive voice. Discernment requires what the
36:50
Puritans called spiritual mindedness, A habitual turning
36:55
away of your thoughts toward God and eternal realities.
37:01
This doesn't happen by accident, it happens through discipline.
37:04
So one of the things that we've done in my family is Saturdays
37:07
now are screen free. Saturdays.
37:09
It was not a hit with my kids because they don't get very much
37:13
screen time during the week and Saturdays like their one day.
37:17
But we decided that Saturdays was best for us as a family
37:20
because Sundays, obviously, we go to church and then I'm so
37:22
cashed out after church. I don't have much energy to be
37:25
present and be available to my kids when they need it.
37:28
So if they're going to have a screen day, it'd actually be
37:30
better for us on Sunday. So we do screen free Saturdays,
37:35
right? We get out of the noise, we take
37:37
walks around the block. I get up early before my kids
37:39
and before my wife. I read my Bible.
37:41
I pray. We all have to have this.
37:44
We need it, right? So let me give you really
37:49
practical steps. I've already kind of covered
37:52
them here, but let me give you these really practical steps for
37:54
developing discernment. First, saturate yourself in
37:58
Scripture, right? Not just reading a verse or two
38:00
in the morning, but deep sustained study of God's Word.
38:03
Hebrews 412 says For the word of God is living and active,
38:06
sharper than any 2 edged sword, piercing to the division of soul
38:09
and spirit, of joints and marrow, discerning the thoughts
38:12
and intentions of the heart. Notice that God's Word does the
38:16
discerning right. God's Word helps us discern the
38:20
thoughts and intentions of the heart.
38:24
So as you immerse yourself in God's Word, it begins to shape
38:27
your thinking, it exposes your motives, and it begins to train
38:32
your spiritual senses of discernment.
38:36
Second, cultivate a life of prayer.
38:40
Not just crisis prayer when you need something, but regular
38:43
discipline, communion with God. Philippians 4-6 and seven
38:47
promises that when we bring our request to God with Thanksgiving
38:49
quote. The peace of God, which
38:51
surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in
38:56
Christ Jesus. That peace that comes from God
38:59
is often God's way of confirming right discernment.
39:04
Third, pursue godly counsel. Find older, wiser men who can
39:08
speak into your life. Be part of a church where you're
39:11
you're known and where people can ask you hard questions and
39:15
you don't freak out and get offended by it.
39:17
Proverbs is full of warnings about the fool who trusts only
39:20
in his own heart. Don't be that guy. 4th.
39:24
Practice discernment and small things.
39:27
Don't wait for the big decisions to start exercising spiritual
39:30
judgement. Every day you're faced with
39:32
dozens of choices, how you spend your time, what you look at,
39:36
what you say. Practice discerning the wise
39:39
choice in those moments. 5th big one here.
39:43
Last one, learn from your mistakes, right?
39:46
I've made tons of mistakes in discernment.
39:50
And when you make poor decisions and you will, don't just move
39:54
past it. Don't just move on.
39:56
Do an after action report, right?
39:58
Examine what went wrong. Where did your discernment fail?
40:03
Did you ignore wise counsel? Did you ignore scripture?
40:06
Did you let your emotions override wisdom?
40:09
Did you not listen to your wife's advice?
40:12
Did you fail to pray those lessons when you screwed up?
40:15
Those lessons are valuable, right?
40:17
So learn from them. Now, let me close with this
40:20
thought. Discernment isn't ultimately
40:23
about making your life easier or ensuring you never make
40:26
mistakes. Discernment is about knowing God
40:30
and aligning yourself with his purposes.
40:33
Jesus says in John 1027, My sheep hear my voice, and I know
40:38
them, and they follow me. The goal of discernment is to
40:43
hear the voice of the Good Shepherd and follow him in your
40:47
marriage, in your parenting, in your work, in every area of
40:51
life. And here's the promise, as you
40:54
grow in discernment, you'll find that God's will isn't a burden,
40:58
it is a blessing. Jesus says in Matthew 11:30 For
41:02
my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
41:06
When you're walking with God, when you're walking in step with
41:09
God, even hard things have a rightness to them, right?
41:14
You know you're doing the right thing, and that helps you get
41:17
through them. Even difficult decisions come
41:19
with a peace that passes understanding.
41:23
So, men, I want to challenge you this week.
41:26
Take one area of your life where you need greater discernment.
41:29
Maybe it's pending decision. Maybe it's a pattern you need to
41:32
break. Maybe it's a relationship that
41:33
needs wisdom. Commit to seeking God's wisdom
41:37
in that area. Pray specifically.
41:39
Search the Scriptures, Seek counsel from a trusted brother,
41:42
and trust that God, who promises to give wisdom generously to
41:46
those who ask, will be faithful. Build your marriage, your
41:50
family, and your business on the foundation of godly discernment.
41:54
And watch what God does when you seek his wisdom above all else.
42:00
It's a beautiful thing to be able to look back over 10/15/20
42:04
years of learning the hard way of trying to grow in discernment
42:08
and to see the blessing of God that comes from just faithfully
42:11
trying to discern God's will over and over and over again.
42:15
Now I would really appreciate it man.
42:18
If you guys, if you like this video, if you made it this far,
42:21
if you could like it down below, if you could share it to anybody
42:24
and everywhere that you think would benefit from it.
42:27
It really helps more people find us.
42:29
It helps grow the channel. If you're not a subscriber, hit
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42:33
It helps us out a lot. Over 50% of the people that
42:36
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42:39
So please give us a like subscribe.
42:41
And I just want to say thanks for listening to Sacred men.
42:45
If this episode was helpful, share it with another man who's
42:48
been trying to live faithfully for God's glory.
42:50
And remember, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
42:53
Walk in it now go act like men. God bless guys.