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159. Loving Your Strengths & Weaknesses · The Shift Podcast

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Welcome to the Ship podcast where you get to hear life
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coaching tools that will help you make small or big shifts in
0:05
your life, feel better doing it, and learn to create the life you
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love with confidence. You will also get to hear
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interviews with some of my clients who've utilized life
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coaching to help them manage their mind and create really big
0:15
things for themselves. Come find out how you can be
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intentional about your thinking, feel better everyday and create
0:20
anything you want in life and come join us inside the Shift.
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Hey, you guys, welcome to episode 159 of the shift
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podcast. I'm titling this one strengths
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and weaknesses. So I don't know if I told this
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last week on the podcast, but I had to put down our dog of just
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we actually, we looked back, he was a lot younger than we
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thought. He was about 7 1/2 years old.
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He had mouth cancer and he it progressed really quickly.
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He was an Italian mastiff and we had to put him down about two
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weeks ago and since then we got a puppy.
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We picked him up yesterday. I told my friends and family we
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got him for all the wrong reasons.
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He's going to fill the hole in our heart.
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But while we know that we can't replace our other dog, I wanted
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to mention him. His name is Bear.
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He's half King Corso, half Great Pyrenees because he is currently
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sitting underneath my desk, underneath my feet, storing.
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So I don't know if you can hear him, but this is his new
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favorite place and he wants to be with me.
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So I'm going to just let him record the podcast with me this
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week. I wanted to talk about strengths
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and weaknesses this week. This is a topic that we kind of
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touched on inside the Flight Prep Academy and it's something
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that I talk about in my life coaching world a lot to my
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clients and inside my programs. So I want to talk about just the
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concept of loving your strengths and loving your weaknesses.
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I let's talk about just being able to.
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I think it's equally hard. I think it's equally hard to
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love your strengths because some people don't want to talk about
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what they're confident in. Sometimes people have a little
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bit of a success intolerance of saying, hey, I'm really good at
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this. Or someone tells them, hey,
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you're doing a really good job at that.
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And they start to spiral because they don't, they can't accept a
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compliment because they feel like they maybe don't want to be
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too cocky or overly confident or lean into it because it's scary
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to be really good at something. And so I think it's can equally
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be scary to love your strengths and equally be scary to love
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your weaknesses. But I'm going to give you my
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take on strengths and weaknesses and what has really helped me
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love both of those and say them out loud.
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And so when it comes to strength, I'm going to share
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with you some personal things that I feel like I'm really good
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at and some things that I'm really weak at.
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So some of my personal strengths are really being able to speak
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up. If you know me, you always know
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how I feel. I say exactly what's on my mind
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and I will be forthright about it and I maybe will say it in
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awkward moments, but you always know what I'm thinking and I'm
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willing to say the hard thing. As a flight nurse, this was
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sometimes good and sometimes bad, but I was all, I would
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always speak up in what I needed or what I thought and I wasn't
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afraid to get pushed back from that.
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So I I really do consider this one of my strengths.
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I think a lot of people, it makes them uncomfortable to say
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the hard thing. I know.
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And I'm willing to say the hard thing.
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I'm willing to ask the hard questions.
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So I really consider this a strength of mine.
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I also think that I'm equally really good at delegating,
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especially in really high pressurized moments or in things
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where we have a big thing to get done.
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I'm really good at saying, hey, can you help me with this and
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asking for help? I think that came with time.
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I think like, as I really started out as a nurse, I felt
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kind of shameful to ask for help.
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But you realize really quickly that asking for help is a really
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great quality. You cannot do everything on your
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own. And equally, I do that in my
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family life and my personal life, too.
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We are getting ready to throw a graduation party for my twins
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who are seniors. That's going to be Saturday.
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And then we're throwing a homecoming party for my son, who
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just got back from Brazil for two years, on the following day.
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And we're expecting 150 to 200 people.
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And lots of people have asked me if I need help with anything.
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And every single person who has asked me, I have taken them up
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on it, whether it's making cookies or helping me blow up
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balloons or helping me prepare, whatever it is, I'm not afraid
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to ask for help. And equally anybody knows if
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they call me at any time and ask me, I will make time to help
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them. And I just think like, this is a
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quality that I think really critical care has taught me to
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do, is not having any shame and asking for it, but then also
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being the person who can be there for people.
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And I, if you know me too, one thing that I really love about
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myself and that I really like is a challenge.
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And so sometimes people call me and they're like, hey, I can't
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figure this out or what do you think about this?
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And I'm like, well, let's do it this way.
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Let's try out this. And I get really excited about
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challenges. So I think that that is a really
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big strength of mine too. I also handle pressure really
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well. I want the pressure.
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We were talking about this in the Flight Prep Academy
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yesterday. It's not only, I mean, maybe it
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started with like I'm capable of the pressure and I would try to
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get rid of it. And I really told myself if I am
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going to work the jobs that I want to work, if I want to be in
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critical care, I want to be a flight nurse.
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And now I want to go into entrepreneurship, I not only
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need to like the pressure, I need to want it.
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And I do believe I am the person who wants it.
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And so that is a thought that has floored me a lot is I want
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the pressure because I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
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As a nurse, I wanted to have the sickest patients.
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I wanted that challenge. I wanted the pressure.
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And as an entrepreneur, I love the challenge.
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I love the pressure. I love being able to help people
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in their sticky situations and help them see it in a different
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way and say the hard thing and show them back their thoughts.
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Like I want the pressure. So those are some of the things
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that I really consider my strengths.
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And sometimes when I have, especially as I'm prepping
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people for interviews or flight interviews or, you know, yeah,
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mostly interviews. I I asked him this question.
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What are your strengths and what are their weaknesses?
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And they have just as hard of a time coming up with their
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strengths. I mean, I think a lot of people
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know what their weaknesses are, but they have a hard time with
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their strengths. So I think this can be equally
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as hard. So think about what your
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strengths are. And I'm going to talk about
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those in just a second. I want to talk to you about my
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weaknesses. I'm really clear on what those
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are. I have an RBF face.
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I just have a face that can say it all.
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When COVID happened and we had to wear masks, that was probably
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the best thing that could happen for me and my family because you
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couldn't see the frown on my face or when I was disappointed
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or when I wanted to say something, but my face said it
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first. I just have this face.
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I don't know if you guys know the part in the new Top Gun
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movie, but we we love that movie.
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But the guy tells him as he as he's getting into go off in in
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the in the jet and he's like, I don't like that face.
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And Tom Cruise says it's the only face I got.
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And so I have to tell my kids that a lot.
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But in the work that I did before as a flight nurse, my
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face said it all. And it was something that I had
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to avidly think about. I remember my manager one time
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had to be like, you know, they got a complaint about my face
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and it was just saying it all. And I remember my manager early
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on telling me, you know, we just just maybe just a little bit of
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a smile sometimes. And so I know that this is one
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of my weaknesses. I know my face says it first
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before anything. And that is something that I am
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aware of. I am a really bad test taker,
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especially multiple choice. And you guys know as a nurse and
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in critical care, there's a lot of test taking.
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That was my biggest challenge. I knew it would at least take me
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3 times usually to pass the test.
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And as a flight nurse, we had a lot of oral exams too, at least
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once a year and then quarterly as well, or with our medical
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director with education. And so I, I felt like in real
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life situation that was great, but you put me in like these
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situations that are made-up or on paper or on the computer and
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I just was not a great test taker.
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And I knew that from early on. I wasn't afraid to express that.
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I wasn't afraid to say that I'm going to go through it in just a
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minute to like what to lean into with your weaknesses.
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I another weakness I have is I lack casualties.
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So we're most people are like, hey, how's it going?
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How's your dog has a family. Sometimes I just get right in
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there and pick up, especially if something needs to get done or
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have a list of things that need to get done.
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Like for example, these parties I'm planning.
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Sometimes I get in there with my family and I'm like, OK, what do
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you guys got going on? This is what I need to get done
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today. And I kind of lack the
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casualties of like, hey, how are you?
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How was your day? And I know that is a big
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weakness of mine. I think that I relied heavily on
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my partners to do that in flight and even in in when I worked in
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the ICU for four years, My best friend in the ICU, we were
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really good partners with each other.
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Like if we we tried to get assignments next to each other
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because she was so good at the psychosocial.
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She was just like really good at like getting in there,
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connecting with the family, really expressing like her love
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for them and all those things. And I would just get in there
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like, OK, what do we got to do? What these are the labs we need.
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And I would just be so straightforward.
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So I think I lacked casualties in that way too.
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And as a flight nurse, I relied a lot on my partners to bring
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that side. I did have to establish it
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because there is a, there is a connection and a deep trust that
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you have to create right away with your patients and their
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families because sometimes you only have 510 minutes to do that
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before you are taking them and you're putting on them on the
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aircraft. So I became better at that.
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I just know that that is my weakness.
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OK, so now that I've kind of talked to you about my strengths
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and weaknesses, I want to talk to you about how I kind of lean
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into both. So I lean into my strengths by
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doubling down on them 1st, I'm able to recognize exactly what
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they are. So if you don't know what those
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are yet, start with what you do, what you think they may be.
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And as you start to write them down or say them out loud, more
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will come. And what I did when I knew
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really what my strengths are both personally and
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professionally, I doubled down in them because I know speaking
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up is something I'm so good at. I wasn't afraid to ask in the
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hard moments for what I needed or ask the hard questions of the
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family. In my personal life, if I sense
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that something's wrong with my kids, my family or a friend, I
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ask, I call. If I get a sense that
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something's wrong with them, I text them or I call them.
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My gut is something that I really listen to.
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I really lean into. I'm pretty good at having the
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gut intuition and I what I do is instead of leaning, just just
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leaning into it, I double down on it, Meaning I really, really
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listen to it. I really, really magnify it.
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And what I have done since I know what some of these
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strengths are, is I've also grown my capability and capacity
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to be the person who holds them, who's super confident in them.
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And what I was saying before is sometimes people see a little
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bit success in their life. They recognize maybe what their
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strength is. And then they get overwhelmed
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and scared by it. Or they think, oh, it's just
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going to go away or it's just a fluke.
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And I just want to offer you to grow the capacity to be the
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person who can hold them. Remind yourself why you're good
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at it. Remind yourself how you created
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it, how you got there. Give yourself a whole list of it
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and then be be the person who can hold that strength.
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Be the person who is not afraid to take it out of your tool belt
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and use it whenever you want. Don't have success intolerance.
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Lean into the success that you've created and magnify it.
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OK. I also wanted to mention don't
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shy away from it. Sometimes we see it what our
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strength is or someone points it out and then we want to shy away
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from it or we want to pull back. And again, it's a little bit of
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a success intolerance. But in those moments, lean into
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it, remind yourself why you're good at it, and then remind
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yourself how you created it. Because we step out of
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capability when we forget how we created that strength.
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And then that's when you lean in and you're like, oh, OK, I'm
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really good at this. I'm going to double down.
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I'm going to magnify this. OK, let's talk about weaknesses.
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What helps me with my weaknesses is making a list of them.
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Usually this isn't hard for people, but making a list of
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them and then I acknowledge them to other people, this is what
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helps release the shame of them. I tell people as soon as I
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notice them or as soon as they're happening, I tell them,
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hey, I'm actually really not a good test test taker could you
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maybe help me with this? Again, I'm not afraid to ask for
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help so I lean into that when I also get criticism from people.
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Like for example that time where I got criticism of having the
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RBF face and them thinking I was being rude to them instead of
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responding to them the way that they needed me to.
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When I get criticism, I always see both sides.
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I always in my head tell myself, yes, I can be so rude, but then
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yes, I can be so nice and I acknowledge that I'm both.
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I acknowledge yes, I can be so dumb, yes, but I am so smart
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too. And so I equally acknowledge
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whatever the criticism they're giving me that, that I am that
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person sometimes and equally I'm the other person.
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We, we, we are both. If we really think about it, we
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are both that we have moments of being both.
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Like sometimes my kids tell me, mom, you're so cringe.
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And I'm like, yes, I am so Grinch, but yes, I am so
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confident too. And so I think acknowledging
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that you can be those things that people are giving you
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criticism, but then you are also the other side and saying them
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out loud when you see them, whether it's yourself or to
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other people. I think that gives you so much
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power back. The second part of weaknesses is
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that I also spend time loving equally what I'm not good at.
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When I say loving, it means I don't try to change myself.
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I don't compare myself to other people.
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I just love myself and say yes, you know what?
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I am a bad test taker. And then I tell myself I am
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capable and in my capability, when I tell myself I'm capable,
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what happens is I get all these creative ideas of how to make up
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for this weakness. So if we go back to the example
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of being a bad test taker, I know I'm a bad test taker.
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So it took me a little bit in my critical care career to think
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about, OK, how do I want to navigate this besides just
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knowing that it's going to take me 3 times to pass the test?
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I said I am going to hire a tutor and so I hired a tutor, a
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flight nurse tutor who helped me with concepts before I had any
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big simulations or before I had to take my CFRN.
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And that was changing for me. So when you step into
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capability, even though you acknowledge your weakness and
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you're like, wait, I'm capable of figuring it out and figuring
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out the resources I need, then creative ideas come to you.
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And that is just like one example of one that I use.
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So I use the same tutor for any testing simulations or whatever
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that I had go on and that really, really helped me with
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that piece. Mindset is a big part of it.
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And that's why I have a business coach.
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That's why I have a mindset coach.
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I meet with them weekly and I it's really acknowledging what
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kind of resources do you need on your team that are really
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powerful and helpful for yourself.
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And when you are doing well, take account of what those
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things are, say hey, this is what I need.
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OK, for me, I say, hey, I need AI, need a life coach right now
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on a weekly basis to declutter my brain and to see my thoughts
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where I can't see them so I can move forward confidently.
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I need a business coach to help me with the entrepreneur space
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for strategy and mindset and just really being honest with
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yourself. Like what do you think?
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Who are the key players that you think that you might need on
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your team for those weaknesses? I I also think that life
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coaching, like I said, and having a life coach in my
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corner, has changed my life. I acknowledge that our strengths
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and our weaknesses change throughout our life and now
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being in my 40s, I think I think a little bit differently about
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the world and finding life coaching has changed me.
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It has made some of my strengths a little bit different, has made
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my weaknesses a little bit different.
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I don't. I think I was a very abrupt
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person because I always said what was on my mind and I think
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I was always quick to speak. I think because of my previous
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career and job. But my husband even told me the
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other day, since you found life coaching, you have let go of the
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control and needing it and the reins, he says, I think you're
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kinder. I think you're gentler.
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And I don't necessarily think that that was me before I found
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the life coaching tools and having my own coach.
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And so I really think like, you know, your strengths and
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weaknesses can change over time and acknowledging that those
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might shift and maybe what you were good at before might become
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a weakness. But I just always like to be
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aware of what my strengths are and weaknesses are currently so
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that I can grow and so that I can love them equally too.
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I say my strengths out loud, boldly and loudly.
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And I think this is part of magnifying it.
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So know what they are. Say them out boldly and loudly.
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Doing this creates so much love for yourself, your whole self.
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Not just the good parts, but the part.
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Not just the part that you only want to show, but all of you.
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Because I also say out boldly and loudly what are my
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weaknesses? It's freeing.
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It gives you a point to focus on, to lean into.
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It helps me magnify and ride out my strengths.
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And it helps me in deep acceptance of my weaknesses and
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areas that I want to grow. I think now that I found life
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coaching and I've been able to acknowledge my strengths and my
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weaknesses and love both of them, I think I've so much more
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energy. I'm a great listener.
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I'm slower to speak. I have so much unconditional
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love to give to people because I know myself and I love myself.
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I love the good parts, I love the bad parts.
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I love even the darkest parts of me.
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I hope that this episode gives you guys permission to love both
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sides, to acknowledge the good parts equally and to and the
20:01
ones that are a work in progress for you or that simply you're
20:04
not good at. Give yourself permission to love
20:07
both your strengths and weaknesses.
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It gives you so much peace when you can do this, anything and
20:13
everything becomes possible because you aren't afraid to
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feel any emotion you. You experience successful people
20:21
are not people who are always winning, who are always
20:23
confident. Successful people are the people
20:26
who are willing to feel any emotion, embarrassment,
20:29
disappointment, discover discomfort.
20:32
They get intimate with these emotions.
20:34
They are not afraid of them. They feel them, they process
20:38
them and they know exactly what to do when they come and they
20:42
allow them. They don't resist them.
20:45
This is the work that we're doing inside the shift.
20:47
If you are looking for a life coach to change your life,
20:51
declutter your brain, give you this piece as unconditional
20:54
love, and grow into your strength and weaknesses.
20:56
I want to be your life coach. Join us inside the shift.
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We have weekly coaching with an ongoing community group chat
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that you can tap into any time. We're creating a community,
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we're creating a movement. We're creating people who are
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rising into who they want to be. Join us inside the shift.
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And just to let you guys know something is coming, I'm
21:15
dropping it next Monday. So watch out for that and I will
21:20
see all of you guys inside the shift.
21:22
Bye. If anything in this episode
21:23
sparked your interest in learning to manage your mind and
21:26
feel better to create confidence in your life, come join the
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shift. We are an entire community that
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meets together on a weekly basis with an ongoing group chat.
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You can click on the link to join in the show notes or DM me
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on Instagram. I hope to see all of you guys
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inside.