Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / you feel miserable because you always want more
Transcript
- 0:00Have you ever felt like no matter what you achieve, it's
- 0:03never enough? Like there's always something
- 0:06more? You need to be happy?
- 0:09You're not alone. In our fast-paced world, it's
- 0:12easy to get caught up in the endless pursuit of more.
- 0:15More success, more possessions, more everything.
- 0:20But what if I told you that this constant craving for more might
- 0:24be sabotaging your mental health?
- 0:27My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel Your
- 0:32Feelings. Today's episode is all about the
- 0:37idea that everything you need is right in front of you and that
- 0:41always wanting more can lead to worse mental health.
- 0:44We'll discuss why this happens, how it impacts us, and what we
- 0:47can do to seek more satisfaction and less yearning.
- 0:51I want to remind you I'm not a doctor, a psychiatrist, or a
- 0:55professional in the mental health industry whatsoever.
- 0:59I'm just a normal guy who has felt some very big feelings and
- 1:02wants to share those thoughts and feelings with you.
- 1:05I've personally experienced this yearning this wanting, living
- 1:08within it, and know how bad it can feel to never quite reach
- 1:11that satisfaction. In fact, it's really, really
- 1:15common in today's society. We're often encouraged to strive
- 1:19for more. More success, more money, more
- 1:22possessions, more friends, more experiences.
- 1:26And while envision can be a positive force, it can also
- 1:31become a double edged sword when it leads to chronic
- 1:34dissatisfaction. Research shows that constant
- 1:38pursuit of more can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and
- 1:41even depression. An example of this is found
- 1:44within the hedonic treadmill. The hedonic treadmill is a term
- 1:48relating to the constant pursuit of more.
- 1:50This is the idea that no matter how much we achieve or acquire,
- 1:56our level of happiness remains relatively stable.
- 2:00We quickly adapt to the new circumstances.
- 2:04The initial boost of happiness and dopamine fades, leaving us
- 2:07wanting more. We realize that, oh, now I have
- 2:11this thing. Now what?
- 2:14You know, I thought this would solve everything.
- 2:16I thought this would fix everything.
- 2:18I thought I would feel better once I obtained this object,
- 2:21this job, this circumstance, this person.
- 2:25The satisfaction we're looking for is not in the end product at
- 2:30all. In fact, the end goal is often
- 2:33simply replaced with another goal as it isn't enough.
- 2:37And then another goal and then another goal in this constant
- 2:39cycle can lead to a perpetual state of dissatisfaction.
- 2:44They can lead you constantly, living inside your wants, not
- 2:49living for right now. One place that this concept
- 2:53thrives in in modern day is hustle culture.
- 2:56I'm sure you've seen this on the Internet.
- 2:59It's the idea that more hustle, more work, more money will bring
- 3:03you satisfaction. If you just work hard enough,
- 3:06your wildest dreams will be fulfilled and your problems will
- 3:09be solved and you will be happy. This, unfortunately, is a lie
- 3:15that is sold and an empty void to fall into.
- 3:19You will inevitably find yourself wishing for more.
- 3:22That dissatisfaction is deeper than just material items.
- 3:26It's deeper than work, money, items, luxury, or desires.
- 3:32It's something within you that must be addressed.
- 3:36It's something within you that is missing.
- 3:40This is why successful people still struggle.
- 3:43This is why the rich can still have depression.
- 3:47It's not about money, it's not about material, it's not about
- 3:53wealth. It's not about experiences.
- 3:55It's not about items. It's deeper than that.
- 3:59When we live inside this want, we are not living for ourselves
- 4:03right now. We're not living for today.
- 4:06We're not living for the people around us.
- 4:08We're living for a fantasy that we've made-up in our minds.
- 4:12We're living for a, a, a job that we don't have yet, for the
- 4:16money that we might make, for the people that we might meet,
- 4:20for the places we might go. We're not living for now.
- 4:24So you are doing yourself a disservice.
- 4:26You are disrespecting yourself right now by not living for you.
- 4:32You are sending a message to yourself that you're not good
- 4:35enough as you are and that you can only be happy with yourself
- 4:40if you have more and then that more becomes unreachable.
- 4:47So how can we possibly break out of this cycle?
- 4:52How can we achieve this fulfilment and stop always
- 4:57wanting? Well, I can't give you a perfect
- 5:01solution. I can't tell you right now what
- 5:05you can do step by step to find complete life satisfaction.
- 5:09That's unrealistic. We both know that there's more
- 5:13to it than that. Satisfaction is not a
- 5:15one-size-fits-all topic. There's no way I can know
- 5:19exactly what you want or need, and you don't know what I want
- 5:23or need. The way to reach this state
- 5:26you're yearning for is to learn to live, to experiment with what
- 5:34brings you fulfillment, what brings you joy, what brings you
- 5:38satisfaction. For me, it's writing, it's
- 5:41making music, it's helping others, it's this podcast, it's
- 5:45being in nature, living, experiencing, and being.
- 5:48I know this sounds whimsical, it sounds like some dumb guru
- 5:52advice, but truly yearning and satisfaction is a complex topic
- 5:57that is difficult to approach. Some people may never be content
- 6:01with themselves and never find that fulfillment because they
- 6:04weren't willing to try. They got caught up in this trap
- 6:09that is yearning. So be present.
- 6:13Be here now, every day. Live each day as its own
- 6:16individual experience and don't get caught up in wanting more.
- 6:21It's OK to have dreams, it's OK to want to achieve.
- 6:26But you can't get so caught up in that that you forget to live
- 6:29now. You can't keep telling yourself,
- 6:32I'll be happy when you can be happy now.
- 6:38But that's a choice that you have to make.
- 6:41Everything you need is right in front of you.
- 6:45So learn, grow, experience and be OK with who you are.
- 6:55That's going to wrap it up for today's episode.
- 6:58Thank you so much for being here.
- 7:00I just released a poetry book last month and it would mean a
- 7:03lot if you checked it out. It's a collection of over 100
- 7:06poems about mental health, all straight from my heart to yours.
- 7:10You can check it out on my website, ethanjewell.com.
- 7:13Also, if you need help feeling your feelings, you should check
- 7:16out my music on all platforms under the name of Ethan Jewell.
- 7:19And I almost guarantee you it'll make you cry.
- 7:22So thank you so much for being here.
- 7:25Thank you for understanding that living in your wants will only
- 7:29bring to satisfaction. And as always, thank you for
- 7:33feeling your feelings. I'll see you next time.