Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 288 - The gift of negative thoughts

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 288 - The gift of negative thoughts · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  We are talking about unhappy emotions.
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  This has been a big topic already this week and it is only
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  Wednesday morning my friends. So many people are talking about
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  the fact that they are feeling bad that they have these unhappy
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  emotions, and they're wondering what they're doing to create
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  this. And they're almost chastising
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  themselves for having unhappy emotions, making it seem like
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  it's a bad thing to have them. And I just want to remind
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  everybody in today's podcast that having emotions is
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  absolutely necessary and normal because one of the most
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  important things that you can do is listen to your emotions.
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  So if you're having an emotion and it's unhappy, frustrated,
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  it's delivering you information and your job is to listen to it
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  and say, OK, what is this trying to teach me?
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  What is this trying to offer to me?
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  What is this trying to give me? Not sit there and be mad at
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  yourself for having an unhappy emotion, no matter how great the
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  situation may be. So often times we put ourselves
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  into positions where we didn't necessarily pick something.
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  So we know if we, let's just use an example about a family puts
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  pressure on you because you've got to go to an event with them
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  and you really don't want to go. But you feel obligated and
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  you're unhappy that you have to go and you know it's going to be
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  a problem and you're just anxious about it.
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  It's causing you to feel bad and you really, truly don't want to
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  go. Now, I'm not talking about just
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  the kind that's like, man, I just wish I didn't have to go,
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  but I know it'll make somebody happy and you can find a path to
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  joy through making someone else happy.
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  Great. I've done that with my own
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  family before. I'm talking about the kind that
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  just resides in your gut and tells you this is just, I don't
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  want to do it. I know it's going to be
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  uncomfortable. I'm going to get there.
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  I'm not going to have it, you know, a good time in any way,
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  shape or form. And there's somebody there that
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  really pushes your buttons or whatever it might be.
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  Whatever the situation is, you are getting a clear message that
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  says this is not a good idea. And the closer the event comes,
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  the more you feel worked up, sick, and it's just, you know,
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  unending. It just keeps going and going
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  and going. That's what I'm talking about
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  right now. So what is that emotion trying
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  to teach you? It's teaching you.
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  You have to change your approach.
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  It's teaching you you have to do something different.
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  It's trying to give you feedback that says this is not good and
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  we need to have some more safety certainty.
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  You know, we need to have some answers around it.
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  And when you don't give it those answers, when you don't sit and
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  have a conversation with yourself about how do I get to
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  that place, what fundamentally starts to happen is the
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  inevitable breakdown of feeling that you are going to be able to
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  control yourself in the situation.
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  It starts to get worse. You start to catastrophize.
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  Creativity starts to use its ability to sit with fear,
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  anxiety, judgement, and it starts to make things much more
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  worth, much more worse. And now all of a sudden the
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  catastrophes start appearing and you're just right down that
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  rabbit hole, so to speak. So it's important to ask the
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  emotion as soon as it shows up. You know, I'm a big believer in
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  killing the monsters when they're tiny.
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  So you have to actually stop and ask yourself, what is this
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  emotion trying to teach me right now?
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  What is what is the information that I should be getting from
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  this so that I can utilize it and use it to the best of my
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  ability to understand how to feel better, not to suffer.
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  I mean, pain is inevitable, but suffering definitely is
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  optional. So you once you get that
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  information and you say, OK, this is what it's trying to
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  teach me, like let's go back to the event you don't want to go
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  to. It's saying if you go to the
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  event, this is what's going to happen.
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  This is how it's going to feel. I just feel like there's no
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  winning in this. And then you can actually ask
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  yourself, well, is there, is there a way that if I go with a
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  different group or if I, you know, avoid going for too long,
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  if I only show up for a period of time with that work, you can
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  start to think through other possibilities other than the
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  doom and gloom. That is just the one possibility
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  that we tend to latch onto and stick to.
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  When you get in these loops, you stop thinking about
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  possibilities and other ways out.
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  You have to break that pattern in order to get to the new
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  pattern. So it's a strategy.
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  It's helpful if you try it that way, but it only works if you
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  can stop it as quickly as possible by asking in the very
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  beginning when these emotions start showing up, what to do
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  about them. Otherwise, they start to take
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  over and before you know it, there's no other option in your
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  head and you're the fly up against the window hitting the
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  glass, not realizing the window is wide open down below.
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  So if you've been having those thoughts, that's a great way to
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  debrief them and learn something from it.
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  All right my friends, I hope you have a blessed day and I will
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  see you tomorrow. Bye.